There was a lot you wanted to say to Emily. You weren’t sure if you could. You’re not sure if your fingers would let you.
Oh, I don’t know if you knew. Me and Brad got back together.
Your throat feels dry.
Even after that awful break up? You say. You know you shouldn’t have, but you can’t help it. Emily deserves better. She deserves someone who’ll treat her better. She needs someone better than that asshole Brad.
Well, it was so awful because we cared for each other so much. Emily replies and you can’t help but think that she’s lying. You don’t remember much about Brad, so much so you even forget that he was a person who existed on this planet, but you know that he’s bad news.
You don’t push the issue any further, but you really want to.
How’s your friend Emma doing?
You bite your tongue. When she brings up Emma, it hurts. Emma was always just a friend, and nothing more. The way she looked at Mike told you that from the very beginning. For a brief moment you regret telling Emily about Emma at all.
Well, she started dating Mike, so I barely see her anymore.
You press the enter key a little harder than necessary.
Oh, I’m sorry.
You want to roll your eyes. Even though you’re talking to her through a computer, you know Emily well enough to know that she actually doesn’t care that much.
I have other friends.
You want to ask her if you’re still friends; acquaintances, even. You’re scared. Even though it was evident that your closeness with her was withering away day by day, you’re afraid of the answer. Afraid because you already know the answer, and afraid because Emily does, too.
The reality of losing her—of losing the person you’d talk to every day about everything was too much to bare. In spite of this downward spiral, you continue to talk to her, in hopes of one day actually sparking up an alive conversation instead of a dead one.
A few years pass by and as they do, your hopes begin to falter.
See any good movies lately?
You feel weird asking her this. This was a question you’d only ask someone you’d just met; it was like an icebreaker question.
No, not really. is Emily’s response. Her only response.
It breaks your heart that you’re not surprised. Yet, you try again.
You try again and again and without fail, the conversation is dead.
You message another ice breaker question.
Emily is online.
But she doesn’t reply.