Chapter 1: A brilliant idea
From the journals of Spaceman Spiff:
After a long voyage, I have landed on a distant planet. It seems hospitable, and I have even found some sort of interstellar hotel to stay at. The inhabitants of this planet seem harmless enough so far, but I am on the lookout, blaster at the ready, as always.
Calvin was bored. His mom had dragged him halfway across the world to visit her childhood penpal, and now he was in Sendai, with only his trusty tiger to play with. Natsu was an okay playmate (for a girl), but they had gone through almost all of her toys.
Fortunately, the Hinatas had recently purchased a new washing machine and Natsu’s mom had asked the deliverymen to leave the giant box as a distraction for the children. Natsu had colored part of the box with markers, but the other side was untouched.
“Hobbes, you know what would be really fun?”
“A tea party with Natsu? She has the best snacks!” said the tiger.
“Stop thinking about food and girls all the time, you big lunk! I say we build another transmogrifier!”
Ignoring the tiger’s look of concern, he grabbed a marker and a handful of Lego and started drawing.
Soon the machine was ready. Hobbes had explained what they were doing to Natsu, though he left out a few details of what happened the first time they tried it; she was eager to join in the building and testing. Before they could decide who would be the first subject, they heard a clattering at the front door. School must be out and Natsu’s older brother was home from volleyball practice. Natsu’s eyes lit up and she ran to the door.
“Sho-chan! Will you try our new machine?”
The energetic redhead bounded into the room. “Hi Natsu, hi Calvin-kun,” he said. “Whatcha doing?”
“Calvin-kun has made a new gadget and we want you to be a test subject, I mean try it out for us,” Natsu said, grabbing Shoyou’s hand and pulling him toward the box. “I’ll go get you a snack from mom if you help us,”
After some good-natured grumbling, Shoyou found himself inside the box. “How long do I need to stay in here, Natsu?”
“Just a bit longer, nii-chan, let me see what Hobbes says...Oops!”
At that moment, the stars aligned, a burst of solar activity, and an accidental discharge of Spaceman Spiff’s raygun hit the side of the box and Hinata felt a tingling through his body. Suddenly the box was crowded, as if there was someone next to him.
“What the heck?” said Hinata.
“Natsu, what the heck? I’m all tingly,” said Hinata, crawling out of the box.
What happened next made everyone’s jaw drop.
“Yeah, me too,” said a boy who looked just like Hinata Shoyou, crawling out the other end of the box.
“It worked again! I am a genius! No, scratch that - I am a SUPER genius!” crowed Calvin.
Hobbes put a paw to his forehead. “Here we go again,” he breathed.
“Hobbes-kun, tell me again what this is,” said Natsu. The two Hinata Shoyous looked at her expectantly.
“Hobbes-kun says it’s a duplicator. Calvin-kun took his transmogrifier technology and combined it with a duplicator, so it’s like a copy machine, but for things, not just paper,” explained Natsu.
Satisfied with the explanation, the Hinatas began a through examination of each other. They appeared to be exact duplicates, even down to the latest bruises from this afternoon’s volleyball practice.
“Wow, this is so cool!” they exclaimed. “Wait’ll Kageyama sees us! He’ll be so jealous!” said the other. “Let’s go find him!” they both exclaimed, and headed for the door. They were gone before anyone could stop them.
“I can only hope this turns out better than last time,” sighed Hobbes.
After a brief tussle, the Hinatas had figured out a way so that they could both ride the bike. One had sent a text to Kageyama and told him to come outside for a surprise, and he was waiting for them when they pulled up.
“What’s so important that it couldn’t wait till tomor – what have you done to yourself, boke?” he said, his eyes widening at the sight of the second Hinata.
“Natsu and Calvin-kun duplicated me! Isn’t this cool??”
“More like terrifying, idiot,” scowled Kageyama. “Which one of you is going to school tomorrow?”
“He is,” they said each pointing at the other.
“No fair! I go to school all the time. You’re new, you should go and experience it,” said Shoyou I.
“What? No way! Since I’m new, I should go experience fun things, not school!” said Shoyou II, and a spirited argument broke out between them.
“Oi! Figure it out later. You’ve given me a headache. Just let me know which one of you is which when I see you tomorrow,” said Kageyama, rolling his eyes and heading back inside.
Stay tuned for more clone craziness!
Chapter 3: Clones? Clones!
Another attempt at cloning doesn't go exactly as planned.
“Promise me you’ll stay here till school’s out,” hissed HInata to his clone. “There’s enough stuff here to keep you entertained for days.”
“Fiiiine,” the other Hinata responded, looking grumpily at the piles of video games, snacks, and volleyball magazines in the room.
“Plus Calvin-kun, Hobbes-kun and I will play with you!” chirped Natsu. Clone Hinata perked up at that.
“Meet me at the gym after school and you can play volleyball - I can’t wait to see the team’s faces when you walk in! Oops, I’ve got to run or I’ll miss morning practice. Have fun!” and Hinata dashed downstairs, grabbed his bento and backpack, and headed to school.
Several hours later, Clone Hinata, Natsu, Calvin, and Hobbes lay on the bed. The snacks were all gone and they had finished an epic Super Smash Bros tournament.
“Now what should we do?” said Calvin. “Calvinball tournament in the park? Indoor sledding? Baseball?”
“I want to try the duplicator on myself this time,” said Natsu. “Then I’ll always have someone to play with.”
“Why won’t it work?” complained Natsu. “I don’t like sitting in the dark.”
Hobbes, Hinata, and Calvin stood by the controls and tried again. Calvin glanced over at Hobbes. “Any ideas, Hobbes?”
“My idea is to get tuna bentos, but since you’re determined to make this thing work, I say we put Hinata back in there and see if Natsu remembers if we’re doing something differently than the first time,” said the tiger. “And if it doesn’t, then we get tuna bentos...and onigiri and Gari-Gari Kun popsicles.”
“Always thinking with your stomach, eh Hobbes?” said Calvin. “Okay Natsu, switch with Hinata and help us troubleshoot this thing.”
“Fine,” grumbled Natsu, crawling out of the box and lifting the flap for Hinata. She moved over to stand by the panel. “The sequence was….let’s see… up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A….anything?”
“Nope, just me in here,” said HInata.
“Oh, I remember! Calvin-kun, get your blaster.” Calvin ran to the other room and Natsu turned to Hobbes. “Did you try the mackerel bento? I like it more than tuna,”
“I’m happy to test it for science!” replied the tiger, his eyes brightening and his tongue darting out to lick his chops.
“Here it is!” Calvin prepared to aim the blaster at the panel, but Natsu took it. “You enter the code, Calvin-kun, I’ll aim the blaster.”
As the blaster passed from Calvin’s hand to Natsu’s, one of the dials got switched to “MAX” from “MIN” and it began to heat up. Calvin punched in the code; as he finished, Natsu aimed the blaster at the box. Once again, the stars aligned and a burst of solar activity was concentrated over the Hinata house. Natsu pushed the button and the blaster exploded; she squeaked and flung it away. It landed on the box, which glowed six different colors before turning black.
“Natsu! Are you okay?” exclaimed Calvin and Hobbes.
“I’m fine, but look at the box!” cried Natsu.
What was originally a rectangular shape was now lumpy and bumpy. Natsu ran over, lifted the flap, and gasped.
“Heya Natsu, it’s super crowded in here! Coming through!” Out of the box came not one, not two, not three….but seven Hinata Shoyous.
“I’m hungry! Got anything to eat?” “Ooh yeah, me too!” The other clones joined in, all expressing various degrees of hunger and excitement.
Hobbes looked on, eyes wide. Calvin pumped his fist in the air in glee. Natsu pouted. “The blaster’s melted, and now I won’t get a clone. Not fair!”
The code for the cloning machine is the Konami cheat code.
Next chapter: volleyball practice!
Chapter 4: Clones meet the club
Clone Hinata meets the rest of the Karasuno Volleyball Club.
From the Journals of Spaceman Spiff:
Calamity! My blaster has been stolen and used in a cloning experiment. The good news is that the experiment worked beyond our wildest expectations. The bad news is that my blaster was melted in the process.
Having devoured all the food in the Hinata household, the clones were still hungry, so they raided Shoyou’s piggybank and sent a clone and Natsu out for meat buns and bentos. Four clones headed to Shoyou’s room for a Mario Kart tournament, leaving two in the living room with Calvin and Hobbes.
“So what did you do when you cloned yourself?” one asked Calvin, while the other flipped through the channels on the television.
“The usual - pranks, evading responsibilities - that sort of thing.”
“Pranks, eh?” said the clone with a glint in his eye. He nudged the clone next to him and started whispering. The other clone nodded enthusiastically and they both ran upstairs. A few minutes later, a burst of uproarious laughter was heard, followed by shuffling, whispering, and giggling.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” groaned Hobbes.
“Stop being such a spoilsport! At least we’re not going to be the ones getting in trouble this time!” snapped Calvin.
After school, Hinata headed to the gym for volleyball practice. As he went into the club room, Suga looked up to say hello, then did a double-take when he saw him.
“Hinata? You just left...and you were wearing your uniform. What happened?”
“Oh no,” breathed Hinata, dropping his bag and sprinting to the gym.
When he got to the gym, there was his clone, chatting excitedly with Kageyama.
“It was great! I didn’t have to go to school, and we just hung out and played video games all day!” said the clone.
Whatever Kageyama had planned to say was silenced at the sight of the other Hinata, still in his school uniform. “I had convinced myself it was a dream,” he sputtered, “but no, of course it’s true.”
Tanaka and Noya turned and their jaws dropped. “Dude, what the heck?” shouted Tanaka. “I didn’t know you were a twin! So cool, Hinata!” said Noya, running up to them.
Just then, Coach Ukai and Coach Takeda walked in.
“Ah, who’s this?” said Takeda, looking confusedly between the two Hinatas. “Hinata, you never told us you had a brother….an identical brother?”
“He’s not my brother! He’s my….cousin! Yes, that’s it - he’s my cousin, who happens to look just like me. What an amazing coincidence?” Hinata babbled, hoping he was making some kind of sense.
“Identical cousins? I think I saw a tv show about that,” said Ukai. “He plays volleyball too? I suppose he can practice with us today.”
“Yeah! I’m even better than Shoyou!” exclaimed the clone.
“Oh, we’ll see about that!” cried Hinata. “Good thing I have an extra uniform - I’ll be right back!” and dashed back upstairs to change.
“One Hinata was bad enough, but two? What did we do in a past life to deserve this?” muttered Tsukishima.
Thanks for reading!
As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated!
Chapter 5: Send in the clones!
“Everyone, grab a Hinata!” cried Daichi.
After practice, everyone headed back to the club room, but the clone Hinata tugged at Hinata’s sleeve and motioned for him to stay.
“What’s up?” said Hinata.
“I need to tell you something,” said the clone, shuffling his feet nervously. “So, uh, while you were at school today…there was a little…accident?”
“What do you mean?” said Hinata, frowning.
“Well, Natsu wanted to try the duplicator – she’s okay!” the clone said quickly, noting the look of alarm on Hinata’s face, “We tried to duplicate her, but it turns out Calvin-kun wasn’t putting the code in correctly and the first time he used his blaster as a power boost, so we tried again with me and…we made a few more copies.”
“How many?” said Hinata, who was starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“What???” screeched Hinata. “Now there’s seven of me?”
“Eight, actually,” said the clone, counting on his fingers. “You, me, and six other clones makes eight.” He went to door of the gym and waved. “Come on in, guys!”
Hinata’s eyes widened and he turned ghostly white. Before him stood six exact copies of himself.
“Wait, one’s missing,” said the first clone. Several of the other clones exchanged sly glances and began giggling.
From the club room, he heard someone bellow “HINATA!!!!” and footsteps began pounding down the stairs.
A few minutes earlier, in the club room, the team members made some surprising discoveries.
Daichi opened his locker to find it covered in googly eyes.
Suga’s locker was full of glitter.
Noya’s hair gel had been swapped out for with purple-tinted gel with glitter stars.
Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinnoshita couldn’t open their lockers because the handles were covered in a slippery substance, which turned out to be Noya’s hair gel..
Yamaguchi and Asahi tried to put their regular shoes on, but they were full of confetti.
Tsukishima’s glasses had had sparkly fake jewels crudely glued on to them.
Kageyama approached his locker cautiously, but nothing appeared to be wrong until he picked up his phone, which now displayed a photo of Hinata making a kissy face as the lock screen.
Daichi bellowed “HINATA!!!” and the team ran to confront him.
Kageyama followed last, frowning at his phone.
As he was about to cross the threshold, a hand grabbed him and pulled him into the equipment closet.
“Hinata, I know you are responsible for pranking us. What were you thinking?” Daichi furrowed his brow as he looked at the miserable Hinata.
“We’re not mad, just disappointed,” said Suga.
“Speak for yourself. I’m definitely mad,” said Tsukishima.
“I swear it wasn’t me! I was here practicing the whole time,” said Hinata. “Listen - that’s not my cousin, he’s a clone! My sister and our guests made a duplicator and cloned me. I think he’s responsible for the pranks.”
“Do you seriously expect us to believe that?” scoffed Tsukishima.
Everyone looked between the two Hinatas in disbelief - then the other one spoke.
“I’m not the clone – he is! Don’t let him get away!” cried the clone, pushing Hinata towards Asahi and making a break for the door..
“Not so fast, shorty,” said Tanaka, grabbing the clone and putting him in a headlock. “We need to figure this out once and for all,”
“Daichi, help! There’s more clones!” gasped Hinata, still in Asahi’s grip. Hearing that, the other clones decided to make a break for it, coming out of their various hiding places and trying to run away.
“Everyone, grab a Hinata!” cried Daichi.
After several confusing moments, all the Hinatas were restrained by various team members.
Kageyama appeared at the door, red-faced and holding a clone in an iron grip. “I found this one in the equipment closet,”
Suga raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.
“Hinata, I thought you said there was only one clone?” said Daichi.
“I thought so too, but there was an accident with the duplicator while I was at school today,” said a clone.
“Hey, don’t listen to him! I’m the real Hinata,” said Hinata.
“Yes, but how can you prove that? Clearly we can’t trust any of you, since one or all of you were playing pranks on us during practice,” said Tsukishima.
“It was him!” said Hinata and all the clones, each pointing at a different Hinata.
“Clearly, we need to teach you to respect your senpais and your teammates!” cried Tanaka. Maintaining his headlock, he made a fist with his other hand and began applying a brisk noogie to Hinata’s head.
After several seconds of intense rubbing, there was a “zap!” and a “pop!” and the clone disappeared. “Ow!” said Tanaka, shaking his hand to relieve the tingling.
“Quick, everyone!” said Ennoshita. “Their Achilles heel is...the noogie!”
Within minutes, only one Hinata was left, standing wide-eyed in Asahi’s grip.
“I think we’re back down to only one Hinata,” said a relieved Daichi.
“We’d better give him a noogie, just in case,” said Tanaka, rushing over to ruffle his hair. “Yep, this is the real Hinata - let him go, Asahi.”
“Are you okay, Hinata?” Asahi said anxiously.
Hinata heaved a big sigh. “Yes, and I’m so glad that’s over.”
“It’s not fair,” grumbled Hinata. “I didn’t do any of these pranks, but I’m still stuck cleaning the club room,”
“At least you don’t have to buy Tsukishima a new pair of glasses,” muttered Kageyama, flipping through a volleyball magazine.
“Good thing that clone didn’t use superglue!” chuckled Suga as he headed to his locker. “Though all this glitter is going to be a pain to clean up. I brought you some wet wipes and a few other things to get the worst of it.”
“Thanks, Suga!” said Hinata.
“Oh, and good job finding that last clone, Kageyama. So clever of you to look in the equipment closet!” Suga said as he left, a mischievous glint in his eye
Hinata turned to look at Kageyama, who was suddenly a bright red. “Wait a minute! Were you kissing one of my clones?” Kageyama muttered something. “What? Stop mumbling!”
“I thought it was you, dumbass!” Kageyama spluttered.
How to get rid of clones? The Tick showed me the way. The line "their Achilles heel is the noogie!" is from "The Tick Loves Santa!", which is well worth 21 minutes of your time.
Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated - thanks for reading!
Chapter 6: Clone-free at last
We bid Calvin & Hobbes farewell. Daichi shares the story at training camp.
From the Journals of Spaceman Spiff:
After an eventful stay, I am heading back to my home planet and have planned a stop at a nearby trading post to replace my trust blaster. The friendly aliens I encountered shed many tears upon hearing of my departure.
“Calvin-kun, we had so much fun! Hobbes-kun, I’m going to miss you so much! Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?” said Natsu.
Hobbes pretended to think about it as Calvin’s expression grew worried. “Natsu-chan, nothing would make me happier, but someone’s got to keep this kid from blowing up the world,” said the tiger. “I’ll write, though!”
“Sorry about the blaster, Calvin-kun,” said Hinata.
“Ah, it’s okay Shouyou,” said Calvin. “Mom said she’s going to take me shopping in Akihibara for a new one before we go home. I hope your clones didn’t cause too much trouble.”
“....and other than cleaning the club room, there were no permanent effects,” Daichi finished, to a rapt audience at the Fukurodani training camp.
“Says you! I’m still finding glitter in my locker, Daichi,” said Suga, laughing.
“Wow, that sounds amazing! I wish I had a clone! Actually, I wish I had 4 clones - then I could be all of the top 5 aces in the country! Wouldn’t that be cool, Akaashi?” said Bokuto.
Akaashi paled and turned away.
“Dude, no! The world can barely handle one Bokuto Koutarou!” exclaimed Kuroo.
“I suppose you’re right,” sighed Bokuto. “Besides, we’d have to clone Akaashi too!"
A few weeks later....
“Hand me the soldering iron, Hobbes,” said Calvin, intent on the project in front of him.
“I’m not sure this is the greatest idea,” the tiger said with a concerned look on his face.
“My ideas are always awesome!” snapped Calvin, as he stuck another piece together. “Now hand me that chunk of plastic and the superglue.”
“The execution is where it breaks down, I suppose,” muttered Hobbes.
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing. But what will you do with two blasters? Give one to Susie?”
“Eeeeew! No! Spaceman Spiff needs backup, of course!” After a brief pause, he added, “Plus we know this will double as a duplicator….who knows what else it can do!”
Thanks for reading! If you have enjoyed this silliness, please like and/or comment.
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