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Song Challenge: One More Day With You

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Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished
For one more day with you

"Goodbye, Nikita."

I hold his hand to my lips as long as possible, but cannot turn my head to watch him exit from van access. Tears sting my face as my stomach clenchs, experiencing the finality of our most truthful parting. He, to ransom his son's life for his own, and me....me to remain in Section, to grieve for him and to stay alive in whatever capacity will allow me to possibly care for Adam.

My entire body shrieks for him. I know he is walking away, down through that hall just a few feet away, and yet I cannot follow him. Sour, burning bile rises to my mouth as I know that he is gone from me, irrevocably; these few short days of truth all that we will have.

At this very moment, what would I want most in life? Wish that I'd never been framed and brought in to Section? Wish that I'd never worked for the supposed Mr. Jones, based on that terribly misguided idea that I could make a difference? Wish that we truly could be living out a white picket fence dream?

One more day
One more time
One more sunset,
Maybe I'd be satisfied
But, then again...
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still,
For one more day with you...

What parting could be more cruel, when our love has finally emerged from behind the years of layered lies? To know that he finally knows who I am, what I have done, the deceit of which I am capable, the pain I am able to cause, and that he still loves me, perhaps even more than before - how can he be taken from me once again?

The pain flows through my body, wanting him, wanting to dream, wanting Michael's dream to be real. But instead....as he walks away....I must stand still.

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone and keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million "I love you's"
That's what I'd do
With one more day with you...

"Goodbye Nikita."

Her tears and lips etch themselves on my hand as I walk away. Every step requires total concentration in order to make my body move, every fiber protesting. I walk to a death painful and certain, knowing it is the only way to make things even a semblance of right.

It seems ironic that for so many years, so many struggles, so many orders, Nikita's weakness was her constant focus on the unlucky innocents, caught in situations completely beyond their control. Now she must see the larger picture, and it is I who must make my life forfeit for an innocent. My beautiful innocent son.

The only thing I have left of myself is her love, and my honor and ability to see this through: to give Adam a chance at a normal life, untouched and unharmed by evils such as the group with whom I thought I could bargain. It is all I can do to keep moving, every ounce of my control focused on walking away. Last time we could not express our emotions - a slice into my cheek with a knife was the only way to show our pain; now I cannot stop the tears which run down my face as I walk, step after step, away.

One more day
One more time
One more sunset
Maybe I'd be satisfied

Do I wish that I had never become involved with L'Heure Sanguine? Wish that I had not taken on the blood cover mission? Wish that I had never been a part of Nikita's training in this place? That I had never tried to bargain with the Collective, underestimating their resources, and overestimating Section's?

My hands itch for the touch of her body. My ears strain for the sound of her stride matching mine, strong together. She saw me at my lowest points, saw the degree to which I would subjugate myself to their commands, and was a victim of my most cruel actions at Section's behest. And yet her love for me remains, more deep and understanding than before. A minivan and a cocker spaniel, children of our own - I can dream enough for both of us.

But instead....she remains....and I must walk away.

But, then again...
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still
For one more day with you...