Actions

Work Header

Duet Plus One

Work Text:

When Rodney had first woken up to discover Lt. Cadman in his head, it had been a nightmare. Having another person rooting around in his brain was an indescribably bad feeling. It was like she was a headache. An uncomfortable tension moving around his head, pressing against his eyes, twisting at the base of his skull. He had thought that working would help, but it hadn’t, and to make matters worse, thanks to Heightmeyer, now Cadman had the ability to control his body. That felt even worse than her rooting around his brain. It was like sleep walking, seeing and feeling, but not doing. The worse part was that she did things he never would. Like going for a run before bed. Rodney had been incredibly sore the day after that and had made her promise not to do it again.

That had been two days ago. Now it was the morning of day three, and Rodney woke up with an odd alertness. How long have you been awake for? he thought.

I don’t know. It’s hard to tell how much time passes in here, she replied in her upbeat voice. It made Rodney’s mouth twitch. Why did she always seem so happy? Are we getting up?

Sighing, Rodney got out of bed and stretched. His back cracked pleasantly, and he walked to his dresser in search of fresh clothes. As he pulled out clean boxers and pants, he could feel a pressure behind his eyes that he realized was Laura thinking in his head, without speaking. “Stop that, its uncomfortable. Just say whatever you’re thinking.”

I was just wondering how long you normally go without showering? Because honestly, if three days is normal for you, it’s no wonder you’re still single. Her voice was both teasing and serious at the same time, and Rodney’s face heated a little.

“For your information, I shower regularly. I have very good personal hygiene, as a matter of fact.” He huffed and tossed his clean clothes on the bed, tugging his sleeping shirt off.

Could have fooled me, she said, and rolled Rodney’s eyes in annoyance. He quickly pulled off his boxers and tugged on new ones, keeping his eyes closed to prevent her from seeing anything. Seriously McKay, we are both adults and I’ve seen you naked already. Just take a shower. It’s not a big deal.

Rodney sighed. He knew she was right, and he was feeling rather gross. His skin felt tight and his scalp was itchy with oil. “Fine,” he sighed, and headed for the bathroom. He thought on his shower, and stripped off his shorts, being very careful not to look in the mirror and give Laura a peep show. They both sighed when he stepped under the spray of water. He shampooed first, scrubbing at his scalp roughly, then just enjoyed the warmth of the water for a while. Finally, accepting that he would have to actually wash himself with Laura in his head, he lathered his hands and began to move them over his body.

Rodney was silently thankful for the fact that she was being respectfully quiet. No jabbing remarks about the softness of his stomach, or paleness of his body. She was right, they were both adults and could handle this. He moved his hands over his chest, fingers running through his chest hair and over his nipples. There was a little hitch inside his head and a pleased little hum. Rodney’s hands stopped, and he thought of something he hadn’t before. “Cadman…can you feel what I feel?”

There was more silence in his head after that question than there had been in days. Kind of. She sounded embarrassed and shy. It was the first time she hadn’t sounded confident. I didn’t want to say anything and make you uncomfortable.

Rodney didn’t say anything, just stood there, letting the water wash the soap away. He knew it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t want to be in his head any more than he wanted her there. “Just ignore it if you can, okay? Try to, please?” He felt a tight ache in the back of his head. A feeling he associated with her trying to block herself off. He had first noticed it when he had used the restroom for the first time. It was an uncomfortable pressure, but he appreciated the effort.

He went back to washing, hands brushing over his nipples again, and he tried not to think about how Cadman now knew they were sensitive. His hands moved down over his stomach and to his legs. He started low at his feet and moved up to his calves, then thighs. He felt the tension in the back of his skull shiver and coil tighter. Bless her, she really was trying not to be involved. Skipping over the most sensitive parts, he lathered his back then rinsed. He stopped for a bit, just soaking up the heat of the water, but he couldn’t avoid the most important part of male hygiene. Re-lathering his hands, he pressed his lips together and tried desperately to pretend he was alone.

He reached down and lightly palmed a soapy hand over his testicles, then his dick. Deliberately looking up at the ceiling, he drew back his foreskin and cleaned himself with what he thought was quick efficiency. Not quick enough, though. The knot of tension in his skull suddenly melted. Oh, the breathy gasp caught him off guard, and he immediately let go of himself. He let the water rinse him off and tried not to think about the fact that now Laura knew what it felt like to have his dick in hand and stimulated. Sorry, I tried not to pay attention. It was just so…different. And nice.

“Yeah, right. Whatever. Don’t mention it. Literally,” McKay gritted out, and turned off the water. He stepped out and reached for his towel. He scrubbed off with it, and turned toward the sink for his razor to shave. He froze at the sight of himself naked in the mirror. He had been so distracted by the embarrassment of washing himself, he had forgotten to avoid looking. He felt his eyes moving without his permission over his body. “Stop it,.” he hissed, and wrapped his towel around his waist.

You know, McKay, you’re not unattractive. Cadman said, and Rodney huffed and picked up his shaving cream.

“So glad I have your approval,” he said gruffly, and filled his hand with the cream.

McKay, I—

“If you don’t mind, I would appreciate some quiet. This does take a certain level of focus, you know, so I don’t slice my face open,” he cut her off. It was mostly a lie. Shaving didn’t take that much concentration, but it had worked. She stopped talking and it was pleasantly quiet in the room. He shaved with quick efficiency and was pleased that Cadman remained quiet and tucked away while he dressed and headed to the mess. After the awkwardness of the shower, he was glad for what was the closest he could get to being alone.

He got in line and began to fill his tray. His hand reached out, without his control, and grabbed a bowl of fruit that he normally wouldn’t even look at. Sighing, he let it go without a word, not like it would kill him to eat some fruit. He made for the table where he usually sat with his team. Right as he approached, Teyla was leaving, and she smiled and waved good morning to him as she did. John was still there, however, and Rodney sat across from him.

“Morning you two,” he said, smiling into his coffee. “How are you doing, McKay?”

Rodney let out a heavy sigh and violently speared a chunk of fake scrambled egg. “Been better, honestly. Wasn’t the best morning, so far.”

“What happened?” John asked, eyeing his friend carefully. Then he noticed the slight dampness of his hair and he smirked. “You showered this morning. How was that? Have fun, Cadman?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Rodney said around a mouthful of food. “Neither does she.” John chuckled at that.

“That bad, huh?”

No, actually, it wasn’t that bad really, Laura said in his head, and Rodney felt his face heat a little.

Speak for yourself, he thought bitterly. Then he realized Sheppard was talking to him. “Sorry, what were you saying, I was…” he motioned to his head and John gave him a funny smile.

“I was asking what you are doing today. I know you can’t work on the project to fix this, but do you have anything else you can work on?”

Rodney thought on that for a moment. “I do have a few simple side projects I was thinking about working on.”

I have some mission reports I need to put down. And some paperwork that I need to get for my CO. Not that the Colonel ever reads any of our paperwork. Rodney snorted into his coffee at that, because it was both funny and true.

“What?” Sheppard asked, giving him a confused look.

“Oh, nothing. What is on your agenda, Colonel?” he asked, and drank his coffee down in a few large gulps.

“Have a few missions to plan and get approved. Pretty slow day actually.” He paused and crumpled up his napkin on his tray. “Hey, I have an idea. How about we do a movie night tonight?” John could see the other man over-thinking the decision, so he went on. “It would be good for you. This situation has put a lot of stress on you. Just come over to my place, watch a movie and relax.”

Yes! Cadman’s response in his head was so loud McKay visibly flinched. Sorry, but some mindless relaxation, and the distraction of a good movie, would be a pleasant change from all the math constantly flying around in here.

“Sounds like a good idea,” Rodney said, because Laura was right. A chance to relax with his best friend did sound like a nice change from the constant pressure of fighting for control of his own brain. “Though, Cadman has requested we watch a good movie.”

John looked thoughtful for a moment. “That might be a problem,” he said jokingly with a smirk, and picked up his tray. “So, I'll radio you later.” McKay nodded at him and tucked in to finish his food. The fruit Laura had picked up actually wasn’t that bad.

-----

McKay spent the rest of the morning working on some of his small side projects—new energy systems and a water filtration idea that would be good for trading with less developed civilizations. Throughout his work, Cadman was there with him. She was relatively quiet, but popped up with a question every now and then, and Rodney answered them all in stride.

On a couple occasions, he found himself straightening against his will. He found it annoying, until the second time it happened and Cadman began rubbing his neck. Rodney hadn’t realized how stiff he was getting until she had done that. He mentally thanked her and went back to work. It was sort of nice to have someone looking out for him in ways he forgot about, but still, he missed the true quiet of working alone. Even when she wasn’t talking, he could still feel her presence.

After lunch, they went back to her room so Laura could work on some of the things she needed to get done. In a way, it was almost nice to sit in the background while she worked. It still felt odd having his body move without him controlling it, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been at first. He was almost able to relax, but he was too busy paying attention to what Cadman was doing to really relax. McKay was a firm believer that you could tell a lot about a person based on how they worked when they were alone. Did they get distracted? Were they sloppy? Were they a perfectionist?

Turned out, Laura was a little of all three. Her desk was a mess and she drifted out of work into personal things a few times, but when she was working, her focus was laser pointed and she typed with swift efficiency. Rodney almost found it to be a pleasant change from how he worked. So totally focused and single minded to the point of being oblivious to everything around him.

“Hey, Rodney?” Sheppard’s voice in his ear startled Cadman so much, she literally jumped a little. McKay mentally laughed and took control back.

“Yes, John, can I help you?”

Didn’t realize you two were on a first name basis, Cadman teased, and Rodney mentally kicked her.

“We are best friends,” Rodney muttered, and crossed his arms defensively.

“Want to come down for dinner and then do movies?” the Colonel was saying in his ear.

“Sounds good, be down in a few.” He glanced at his watch as he stood up. Cadman had been right this morning, it was hard to tell how much time passed when you were existing just in head space. He walked out into the hall and paused, not exactly sure which way to go from Laura’s quarters. He heard the soft laugh of Laura in his head and sighed as he relinquished control to her.

They walked to the mess in a comfortable silence, and Rodney was only slightly bothered by the overly feminine way Cadman walked in his body. It was odd, feeling his hips sway with how she moved. How his arms swung just a bit more as he walked. It was weird, but not unpleasant. That being said, as soon as he recognized where they were and how to get to the mess, he gently nudged her out of the way and took control back.

“So, was your day productive?” John asked, when he sat down across from him.

“Yes, actually, for both of us,” Rodney said around a mouthful of food. He felt Laura laugh at him inside his head and rolled his eyes. “And you? Any interesting missions set up?”

“A couple of good ones I think you’ll like. Heard of PKM-224? Elizabeth said she found something interesting in the database about it. We’re going there next week…. if you’re up for it.” John looked up at Rodney and then back at his tray.

“Yes, I’ll be ready,” McKay said with a huff. “I talk a lot of crap about Zelenka, but he really is a brilliant scientist. He’ll fix this.”

Yeah, he will. He better, Cadman thought, and Rodney smiled.

John gave him a funny look and Rodney pointed to his head. The soldier nodded. “How weird is it?”

McKay shrugged. “Not too bad, most of the time. She is very respectful. Keeps to herself when I need my space., I get the feeling it’s harder for her than for me.” He felt a warmth radiate through him as he said the words.

Thank you, Rodney. It was said softly, but he knew it meant a great deal to her. He had, over the past few days, been very harsh on Laura, but when he talked to John he had the bad habit of being more honest than he normally would be.

“So what type of movie you up for?” Sheppard was asking.

McKay shrugged and nudged at Cadman. “Classic action or Sci-fi,” he finally said, and John grinned.

“My favorite,” he said, and popped the last bite of his roll into his mouth. “Finish up and we can go.”

Rodney finished his food in comfortable quiet and could feel Cadman moving around restlessly in his head. What?

Why aren’t you guys talking? Normally friends talk to each other.

We don’t need to, all the time. We just get each other. Why do you care?

It’s uncomfortable,. she thought back, after a pause.

Not for us, Rodney replied, and smiled at John. The soldier returned the gesture, his eyes darting from Rodney to his empty tray and back up. In the back of his head, McKay felt the pressure behind his eyes of Laura thinking and not speaking. Rodney ignored it and finished his food. “Ready?” he asked, picking up his tray. John nodded and they bussed their trays and left.

The walk to Sheppard’s quarters was a pleasant mix of quiet and inside jokes that Cadman didn’t get, and Rodney felt her annoyance at that. They entered John’s room and Rodney felt his eyes wandering. Stop it, he scolded and sat down on John’s bed. He felt Laura’s surprise at the action, but ignored it. He scooted up to the headboard and leaned against it, while John got his laptop and started up the movie.

John moved onto the bed next to him, and again he felt Cadman’s surprise roll over him. I’m sorry, do you have a problem? Rodney thought firmly. Again, his eyes ached with the thoughts Laura didn’t voice. He chose to ignore her as Sheppard settled in next to him, close, but not quite touching him.

Aliens played on the computer, and they watched in a comfortable silence for a while. Then John leaned over and said, “I used to think that thing was scary, but it’s nothing next to the Wraith, am I right?” Rodney huffed in agreement and John settled back, now touching Rodney’s shoulder with his.

“Although, the tiny inner mouth thing is still super creepy. Wouldn’t want a kiss from that.” He leaned over as he spoke, and when he leaned back against the headboard, they were touching even more. John smirked over at him and leaned slightly against the scientist’s broad shoulder. Rodney smiled at him and let his fingers casually brush John's leg. The soldier nudged him, and they turned their attention back to the movie.

Oh my God! The mental shout was so strong, Rodney visibly flinched. Sheppard looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. Rodney just gave a weak smile and looked back to the laptop. John followed suit.

What the hell was that about? he thought harshly.

He is totally into you, Cadman thought back, and McKay blushed.

No he isn’t, we're just friends, Rodney thought back, even though he had hoped and suspected for a while that there was chemistry between them. He liked John, had from day one. John feeling the same way was something Rodney hoped for, but never thought would be real. He assumed all the little flirty gestures were just John being John, because he seemed to charm and flirt with everyone he talked to.

Without his control, Rodney's eyes took a sideways glance at John. The other man saw and smiled a little, ducking his head subtly. No, he is for sure into you, McKay. She paused, and Rodney could feel her rifling around his brain. And you are so into him too! Oh my God, is this a date?

What? No! We watch movies like this all the time, he replied, ignoring her observation that he liked John.

Like this? Snuggled up together on his bed? To prove a point she twitched his arm, making McKay elbow Sheppard softly. The other man nudged him right back, smiling a little.

Stop that. And we are not snuggling, Rodney protested.

You might as well be. He didn't respond to that, and Cadman fell quiet for a while. Relieved she had dropped the subject, he turned his attention back to the movie. The quiet in his head space was unfortunately short lived. You should make a move.

What? No! You are completely crazy. I don’t even know if he actually likes me, Rodney thought, and blushed at the fact that he had sort of just admitted to liking John.

I guarantee you he does. He’s probably just scared to make a move. You know, DADT and all that. If you make the first move, he won’t have to worry about you reacting badly to his advances. Rodney rolled his eyes, clearly not convinced. Fine, I’ll prove it, she thought, and next thing Rodney knew, his hand was on John's thigh. Higher than could be considered just friendly. Cadman squeezed the thigh under his hand, fingers dipping into the crease where thigh met groin. Rodney felt his heart speed up and he looked over at Sheppard. His hand was his again, but he didn’t remove it.

“Yes, Rodney?” John asked quietly. He was looking at him with wide, questioning eyes. He was so close, Rodney could see the gold flecks mixed into the green-brown marbling of his hazel eyes. Did they really sit that close to each other? All he needed to do was incline his head a little and he could kiss the other man.

“I was just…um,” Rodney stumbled, not sure what to say. His hand was still on John's thigh, so he squeezed again, and this time it was really him doing it. His fingers curled into that crease again and he tugged lightly. That was all it took, and John was leaning down into him until their lips met. It was soft and simple. No tongues, just their lips moving together. First one small kiss, then another at a different, better angle. Then again and again, until they had tested every possible combination for angles they could tilt their heads at while kissing.

“You were just, what?” John said against his mouth, and his tongue darted out, swiping briefly over the crease of Rodney's lips.

The scientist gave a little sigh and brought his free hand up to the back of John's head, tugging him in firmly. “Making a move,” he breathed, and opened his mouth. It switched from soft to fiery in an instant, as a year's worth of sexual tension finally shattered. Slow deep sweeps of their tongues that were lazy and hot. Sheppard pulled back and mouthed along Rodney's jaw, nipping at the sharp bone. Rodney groaned a little and moved the hand on John's thigh. It was a short trip to slide it up and onto the swell of John’s erection. He squeezed lightly, kneading his fingers into the firm shaft. Sheppard moaned and turned to press against Rodney's side. The laptop that had been balanced on his legs slid off and thudded to the floor. Neither of them noticed.

Large hands gripped John's hips, and Rodney pulled and manhandled him until he was flat on his back on the bed. Rodney moved on top of him, straddling his hips, and he could feel Sheppard's cock pressing into his through their pants. He rolled his hips into that bulge and John shuddered, looking up at him with bright, lusty eyes. His hands moved up over Rodney’s hips to the hem of his shirt, and his finger slid under it, pushing the soft cotton out of the way. McKay made a small groan and dipped back down to kiss the other man again.

Hey! Wait! No, no, no! When I said make a move, I meant, like, ask him on a real date, not fool around! Cadman was shouting inside Rodney’s head. Can you even hear me? Hello! She got the distinct impression that he couldn’t, considering she could barely hear herself over the thundering of Rodney’s heart in his ears. Combined with the fact that Rodney’s thoughts were now an intense and frantic swirl of emotion that centered on John Sheppard, she was pretty sure she had become a forgotten piece of background noise. Seriously, McKay, please stop. She tried one last time, but the only thing that came back to her was Rodney thinking about how good John tasted. Groaning, she tucked herself away and tried very hard not to feel or see what was happening.

“Take it off,” John breathed, and his hands spread out over Rodney's tummy, soaking in the heat and soft skin. He had pushed McKay’s shirt up as far as he could while they kissed, but it wasn’t enough. “Please, let me see.” McKay was in disbelief at the raw need in John's voice. The lust in his eyes, all directed at him. Swallowing thickly, he did as asked and tugged his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor. “Oh, yeah,” John drawled, and ran his hands over the exposed skin in long sweeping passes. His hands traveled up, brushing over nipples, and stayed there, rubbing them softly. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been distracted by these?” He pinched the buds under his fingers and Rodney moaned.

“Okay, this isn't fair. Shirt off.” McKay tugged John's shirt free of his pants and yanked it up so hard he heard a seam pop. The soldier smiled up at him, clearly happy about his eagerness. He lifted up just enough for Rodney to pull it off. “Do you have any idea how much time I've spent thinking about your body hair? And these,” he ran his hands along John's body, loving the soft feel of his chest hair, and clutched at the chain of his dog tags. He ran his fingers over the beaded chain and hummed in approval. The shining metal, nestled against the darkness of John’s chest hair, was just as attractive as he had fantasized. He ran his fingers through John's hair again, but wanted to feel more of it, so he leaned down, stretching out over him. McKay groaned at the feel of it and kissed John again. It went straight to hot tongues and wet sounds this time.

Sheppard's hands wound up over Rodney's back, scraping down his shoulders. The scientist gasped against John's lips and rolled his hips down. This had the other man shuddering and arching up into him. It spurred Rodney to press down harder and John moaned into his ear. “Yeah, Rodney, come on.” And John was shoving his hands between them, tugging at the zippers to their pants. McKay leaned up to give him more room to move. John pushed his own pants down just enough to free himself, and did the same to Rodney, tugging his BDUs down just over his ass.

Nope! Not happening. I’m over this, Cadman thought fiercely, when the spike of pleasure brought on by Rodney’s cock being freed hit her. She focused and tried to take control, but couldn’t. She tried harder and it just caused her non-existent head to hurt. Rodney was too intently focused. She couldn’t wedge her way in to take control. Groaning in frustration, she slinked back into her corner and tried to block everything out again.

“Oh, John,” McKay gasped, rocking down onto the other man. John shuddered and rolled upward to meet him. The friction between their cocks was great and McKay moved again a little more firmly. Each time he pressed down, John rose softly to meet him, and the rhythm and pace was perfect. It was getting slicker and slicker as they leaked against each other, and very quickly was becoming the best first sex Rodney had ever had with someone. He bit at John’s collarbone and licked up over his neck, finally making it back to his mouth. John moaned and dragged his fingernails down Rodney’s back to clutch firmly at his full ass, urging the other man on.

By this point, Cadman was a shaking ball of nerves inside Rodney’s head. It was so much harder to block things out than she thought it would be, and the effort of doing it was starting to hurt badly. Finally, she just let it go, and wow did it feel good. She could feel the pull and push of Rodney’s muscles as he thrust down against John. His aggressiveness wasn’t that surprising given his ‘I’m always right’ attitude. It wasn’t the type of thing she liked in a partner, but apparently John was enjoying it. Her CO was moaning and groping the other man hard. She could feel his strong hands gripping McKay’s ass, pulling him in harder, and it was weird how, apparently, McKay liked having his ass groped way more than she ever had. All of this was weird.

Cadman had never thought about what it would feel like to have an erection, but now she knew. It was a tight, pleasurable ache, and she could swear she felt Rodney’s pulse thrumming through it. She also now knew what it felt like to have said erection rubbing against another one. The slick drag of Rodney’s cock against John’s was a deep throbbing pleasure, so different from what she was used to. Mixed into the constant ache were sharpe spikes, when just the right spot was brushed, and it had Rodney shivering. She wondered if it meant he was getting close.

It wasn’t just the feelings though. She could see what Rodney was doing as well. The sight of Sheppard, flushed and panting against McKay, was incredibly hot. Rodney seemed fond of running his hands over Sheppard’s chest and sides, and his eyes followed the movements when he could. It was a sight that would be stuck in her mind forever, and she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to look at the Colonel the same way again. To think such a charming lady killer was actually so submissive and vocal, was a little mind blowing.

“Fuck, Rodney, what took you so long. I’ve wanted you since we got here,” Sheppard panted, as he mouthed the other man’s neck. He bit his way up to his jaw line and sucked a point just below McKay’s ear.

“You could have said something too, you know,” Rodney replied, trying to sound annoyed, but it ended with a drawn out moan that contrasted his tone. He leaned up a little and glanced down between their bodies. The sight of their cocks sliding together was beautiful, and a pleasant little tingle started at the base of his spine. “Fuck, you’re so hot, John,” he said, and leaned back down over the other man, thrusting harder.

Cadman shivered in Rodney’s head and added her own pleasant feeling to the tingle, because, wow. She had just seen the men’s cocks, red and hard and shiney with precum. It was more erotic than any porn she had ever watched. God, this was wrong, there were so many things she now knew that she shouldn’t. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to care, because they felt so good together.

“You too, you too,” John panted, and mouthed at Rodney’s ear. “So freakin’ hot, Rodney. Christ! I want you to fuck me.”

Well, that wasn’t going to happen tonight, because the words were hot and moist in Rodney’s ear and it was all it took to send him shooting off in climax. He bit his lip around a moan and buried his face in John’s neck. It was intense and drawn out and he didn’t stop moving. His cum made the glide of John’s cock even smoother, and he felt the soldier shaking and losing rhythm below him. Sheppard gripped Rodney’s ass hard, pulling him down tight, and rutted against him with short, slick movements. He broke off into a series of short, breathy groans and was cumming against Rodney’s belly. John panted and kept rocking slowly against the other man. They both did, enjoying the slick mess between them and just breathing each other in.

They moved gently against each other for several more moments, until it was too much. Letting out a heavy, sated sigh, Rodney relaxed fully onto John, pinning him with his weight. The soldier didn’t mind, and lazily ran his hands up and down Rodney’s solid back. “That was amazingly good,” he said into John’s neck. Under him, Sheppard just hummed pleasantly and gripped his shoulders in a tight hug.

I second that, Cadman said softly, a gentle hum in her voice.

McKay sat bolt upright, his face turning beet-red, as he stared down at John with wide, shocked, embarrassed eyes. John gave him a confused look for a moment, but then his face morphed to match McKay’s, except it went sheet white. “Oh, fuck,” Rodney said, and stood up, tucking himself into his pants. “Oh, no. Oh, God, what were we thinking?” He was pacing in front of John’s bed now, breathing so fast he was borderline hyperventilating.

“Calm down, McKay, it’s not that big of a deal.” Laura had meant to think the words, but in Rodney’s panicked state they slipped out of him without her having to try.

“Calm down?” he shouted, staring firmly in front of himself as if she was standing there. “How is this not a big deal? You just saw us having sex! And why didn’t you say anything, why didn’t you stop me?” he went on, gesturing wildly.

“It’s not like I didn’t try, McKay!” she replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “You were a little distracted and didn’t hear me. I tried taking control, but couldn’t. I think a better question is how you managed to forget I was in here.” She canted his hips slightly as she huffed out the question.

“Like you said, I was a little distracted,” he gritted out, blushing harder and glaring at the wall in front of him. “Oh, this is horrible…and, and it’s all your fault!” He pointed a finger at the nothingness in front of him, in an attempt to scold her.

“My fault? How the hell is it my fault?” she demanded, placing his hands on his hips.

From the bed, John was watching the exchange with slack jawed bewilderment. It would have been a hilarious scene if not for the subject they were discussing. He set his jaw and fixed his pants, cringing at the wetness he trapped inside. Taking a deep breath, he stood up.

“Because you—” Rodney was cut off by John.

“Lieutenant!” He barked out the title in the firmest voice Rodney had ever heard him use, and Cadman responded to it like a trained dog.

“Sir!” She fell into a perfect parade rest, back arrow straight, hands clasped behind her.

John stalked up to her and glared down with the fiercest look Rodney had ever seen the man wear. It was scary and weird seeing his carefree, laid back, friend look at him like that, and Rodney shivered back into his own head. Sometimes he forgot that John was the head CO of Atlantis and had a hefty amount of power. “You will not breathe a word of this to anyone, do you understand? If you do, so help me, I will make sure that every mission you run, until I get discharged, will be on Wraith infested hell holes.” It wasn’t just a threat, it was a fact, and the ice in Sheppard’s eyes was scary to Rodney.

“Sir, understood sir! Permission to speak freely, sir?” Cadman requested, and John eyed her for a moment before giving the slightest of nods. “I have always thought Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was an outdated rule that has no place in today’s military. As such, I swear I will not betray your confidence, sir. This has been an….unfortunate accident.” She paused and relaxed slightly, but still held her stance. “I really did try not to pay attention. I want you to know that.” Sheppard’s face lost a little of its harshness and he nodded.

“I believe you,” he said, and turned to retrieve his shirt. Picking up Rodney’s as well, he tossed it to her, and she caught it easily. “So much for the afterglow,” he muttered, as he pulled it on.

“To be candid, sir…I think you two are very cute together.” And that was the last word she got out, because Rodney was bullying his way back in to control.

“Okay, no, men are not ‘cute together’. Also, what we are or are not is none of your business,” he said, and tugged his shirt on, then did up his pants. He turned to look at John and didn’t know what to say. “So, uh…I’m not really sure where to go from here. Not exactly a protocol for this sort of thing.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, nervously.

“Yeah, right,” Sheppard said, looking down at the floor, blushing. "Normally I would ask you to stay..."

Oh, for Pete’s sake,. Laura sighed, and took control again. She walked Rodney right up to John, grasped his jaw and kissed him.

Instantly, John could tell it wasn’t actually Rodney kissing him. The way she moved his tongue was completely different from how Rodney did. John much preferred how the other man kissed, if he was being honest. Before he could complain, she was pulling back and smiling at him. “Thanks for a fun evening, Colonel. See you tomorrow.” She clapped him on the shoulder and then moved to leave. John let her go figuring, of all the ways Rodney could leave, it was probably one of the less awkward options.

Somewhere along the way, McKay slipped back into control of his body. They made it back to his room in stark silence, but the weight of Cadman's presence was oppressive. Laura tried to talk once they were safely inside the confines of his quarters, but he cut her off. “Is it too much to ask, for just quiet?” She gave a small ‘no’ and he sighed in relief. “My first time with him, and it ended up being some fucked up, pseudo-threeway. Of course it did, because nothing I ever do can go right or be normal,” he complained as he stripped for a shower. Considering what had just happened, it didn’t feel that awkward anymore. He washed quickly and went to bed immediately after. As he laid down, he thanked Laura for her silence.

-----

One day and one terrifying seizure later, and it was time to try switching them back to their own bodies. If Rodney were being honest, he was terrified it wouldn’t work properly. Then he had been embarrassed and annoyed because Cadman had kissed Beckett, of all people. I had to watch you have sex, you can handle one kiss. Rodney sighed and told them to get on with it.

He didn’t remember collapsing after being rematerialized, only that he woke up in the infirmary. He was more relieved than he thought he would be, to see Laura lying in a bed next to him. “Oh, sweet solitude,” he said, and sank further back into his bed.

“You’re telling me,” Cadman agreed.

They were left alone after that. Carson wanted to keep them in the infirmary for at least 48 hours. Rodney had snorted at the orders because that wasn’t happening. For now, however, he was happy to sleep to the steady beep of his machines and the quiet murmur of activity around him. It grew quiet as the day went on, and he was genuinely surprised he had slept as long as he had. Pleasantly drifting in and out of dozing all day. It was late evening when John came to see him. He heard the privacy curtain open and had expected to see Carson again.

“How are you feeling?” Sheppard asked, standing next to his bed, smiling down at him.

“Tired,” Rodney sighed. “Just really tired. Beckett says it will pass in the next day or so.” Sheppard nodded and let one of his hands drift onto the edge of the bed.

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.” His hand drifted closer until he was running his fingers along the side of Rodney’s thigh. “So, about what happened…” He glanced over at Cadman who appeared to be sleeping. “I don’t want it to be a one-off thing.”

McKay smiled, and his hand twitched toward John’s. “Neither do I. Though I am a little disappointed we wasted a year’s worth of sexual tension on her.” he said, jerking his head in Cadman’s direction. John huffed a laugh and glanced over his shoulder at the curtain, making sure he had pulled it fully closed behind him. Convinced they couldn’t be seen, he leaned down and kissed Rodney softly.

“Can you please not? I already had to witness you two going at it once,” Cadman groaned, and John straightened, laughing stiffly as he turned to her. “Sir,” she said, and he could tell she was as tired as Rodney was. “I meant what I said, I won’t say anything. And I am sorry about the invasion of your privacy.”

“I appreciate that. But if you change your mind, I also meant what I said.” He spoke it in a light-hearted way, but there was something sharp behind his voice.

“You don’t have to threaten her, Sheppard. I know she won’t,” McKay defended her, and John looked back at him in surprise.

“Since when do you stick up for other people when it doesn’t benefit you?” Rodney huffed indignantly at the remark and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t be like that,” John said and leaned down to kiss him softly again before straightening.

“Seriously, stop it you guys,” Cadman groaned. “I just want to sleep.”

“I agree with that,” Rodney said, and John nodded.

“I’ll be back later. Glad you are both doing all right.” With that he left, and it was calm and quiet again.

“I did mean what I said before, Rodney,” Laura said, as she tucked her blanket around her.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure you won't say anything. He really would make it worse for you than us if you did,” he said, rolling on to his side, away from her.

“No, not that. You guys are cute together, you're good for each other. I’m happy for you.” Rodney didn’t say anything, but Laura could almost feel his thoughts of agreement. "Oh, and you're welcome, by the way."

Cadman couldn't see it, but Rodney smiled at that.