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Steve Rogers I Will Eat Your Fucking Eyelids

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Monday, March 4th.

8:07pm

TonyStark has created a chat.

TonyStark has added 9 users to the chat.

TonyStark has named the chat HoesAndTricks.

 

8:09pm

 

TonyStark: Welcome to the chat, brothers and sisters.

 

BruceBanner: Tony no.

 

TonyStark: Bruce is blocked because he thinks he can tell me what to do.

 

SteveRogers: Tony is blocked because he keeps making pointless chats.

 

TonyStark: Steve is blocked because hes gay

 

ClintBarton: Tony is blocked because hes home of phobic

 

NatashaRomanov: You're all blocked for being fucking annoying.

 

ClintBarton: Fair

 

SteveRogers: Fair

 

BruceBanner: Fair

 

TonyStark: Fair

 

NatashaRomanov: Who's all here

 

TonyStark: Why don't you check the user list, wise one

 

NatashaRomanov: Why don't I roundhouse kick you in the dick

 

TonyStark: Fair

 

BruceBanner: You added. Loki. To. A. Chat.

 

TonyStark: Thor would've whined if I didn't. 

 

TonyStark: He's like, 15. What real threat is that.

 

SteveRogers: He owns like seven snakes. 

 

ClintBarton: He threatened to kill me

 

SteveRogers: Me too

 

BruceBanner: Me too

 

NatashaRomanov: Me too

 

SteveRogers: Many times actually.

 

TonyStark: He's just going through his edgy emo phase

 

TonyStark: We've all been there.

 

NatashaRomanov: No. No we haven't 

 

TonyStark: If you didn't cry when MCR broke up, I don't want to associate with you.

 

ClintBarton: Can I get an F in the chat for all the MCR fans that never got to see a show before it was too late

 

BruceBanner: F

 

TonyStark: F

 

SteveRogers: Whos MCR

 

TonyStark: Blocked

 

SteveRogers: okay go off

 

NatashaRomanov: It was a punk band from the 2000s of something like that. 

 

SteveRogers: Oh. I don't like modern music

 

TonyStark: Prude

 

SteveRogers: Surprised you can even spell that word

 

TonyStark: It's five letters. 

 

TonyStark: You see that spot on the ground right there? That's where you need to land when you get off your high horse.

 

ClintBarton: OUCH

 

BruceBanner: That was poetry

 

SteveRogers: You're just mad because you're single, its okay tony.

 

TonyStark: Single and ready to mingle

 

TonyStark: Speaking of which, how's your goth boyfriend Steven?

 

NatashaRomanov: Oh?

 

SteveRogers: He's referring to bucky. And he's not goth just sad.

 

BruceBanner: Mood

 

ClintBarton: Fucking bood.

 

TonyStark: And you, Brucie, hows that sweet Norwegian ass?

 

BruceBanner: what

 

ClintBarton: Does Thor want your Midwesterner gam gams?

 

BruceBanner: MY WHAT

 

ClintBarton: Your

 

ClintBarton: GAM GAMS.

 

BruceBanner: That's disgusting

 

SteveRogers: That's not even a thing

 

NatashaRomanov: This is getting weird...good job tony

 

TonyStark: It's my specialty

 

TonyStark: Why is NO ONE else on? It's not even eight thirty

 

ClintBarton: Thor probably goes to bed at like 4 in the afternoon

 

BruceBanner: No he doesn't

 

SteveRogers: You would know

 

BruceBanner: STEVE

 

NatashaRomanov: Who's Vision and what kind of name is that

 

TonyStark: He's my student and that's not his real name

 

TonyStark: At least I don't think so

 

TonyStark: I hope not...

 

ClintBarton: You have a student?

 

TonyStark: He's a little nerd shit with 0 social skills so I help him make friends and in return, he assists me on projects.

 

TonyStark: Sweet kid.

 

TonyStark: Cool accent

 

TonyStark: It's like. Londoner. IDK if he's actually british or just weird

 

BruceBanner: Probably just weird

 

 TonyStark: Maybe

 

NatashaRomanov: This is boring. Deuces. 

 

NatashaRomanov  is offline.

 

ClintBarton: Boooooo Nat 

 

TonyStark: What a loser

 

SteveRogers: That's not nice. 

 

TonyStark: Im not nice

 

BruceBanner: We know

 

TonyStark: shut up ur soft

 

ClintBarton: Soft

 

BruceBanner: Don't call me soft I'll cry

 

SteveRogers: aww

 

ThorOdinson  is now online.

 

ThorOdinson: Hello friends! I thank you for adding me to this chat.

 

TonyStark: Of course big guy. We need someone to wrangle dark lord loki

 

ThorOdinson: Dark lord? 

 

ClintBarton: A little evil man

 

TonyStark: real rowdy boy

 

ClintBarton: satan child

 

ThorOdinson: No! Loki is very sweet!

 

SteveRogers: He's threatened to kill all of us more than once

 

ThorOdinson: He's goth.

 

BruceBanner: Hi Thor.

 

ThorOdinson: Hello Bruce! How are you, my small friend?

 

BruceBanner: Small?

 

TonyStark: Everyone's small compared to you, big guy.

 

ThorOdinson: Yes, I know. But that is okay. Small friends are good friends.

 

ClintBarton: We're all average sized humans.

 

SteveRogers: Except Tony

 

TonyStark: Fuck off

 

ThorOdinson: It is okay to be small, Tony. I was small when I was younger!

 

BruceBanner: I don't believe it. 

 

ClintBarton: Thor bust outta his mom like the Kool-Aid man.

 

SteveRogers: Ouch.

 

TonyStark: My metaphorical uterus hurt reading that.

 

ThorOdinson: You have a uterus, Tony? That is okay too. 

 

TonyStark: No, it's just an expression

 

SteveRogers: Thor how are you always so happy

 

ThorOdinson: What is there to be sad about? 

 

ClintBarton: So much man, so much.

 

ThorOdinson: I am aware of the state of the world. But there is nothing I can do about it. I have my family, my friends, my school, and a bright future ahead of me.

 

ThorOdinson: There is nothing for me to be sad about if I cannot control it.

 

TonyStark: Damn man.

 

ClintBarton: I might have to sit down and rethink my life.

 

SteveRogers: Things must be different in Norway.

 

ThorOdinson: Very different. Colder. All the time. People are quick to judge, as my family's names are all derived from ancient mythology.

 

BruceBanner: I noticed that. I think it's cool. A lot cooler than Bruce.

 

ThorOdinson: Thank you. I like your name. It fits you.

 

TonyStark: Should we leave you two alone?

 

ClintBarton: OwO whats this

 

BruceBanner: Knock it off

 

SteveRogers: Leave them alone. They can't help being gay.

 

ThorOdinson: Of course not! Sexuality is not a choice.

 

TonyStark: Another expression bud.

 

ThorOdinson: I know! Just stating.

 

TonyStark: So smart.

 

ClintBarton: Best friend material

 

TonyStark: Boyfriend material if you're a certain science nerd

 

SteveRogers: Tony leave Bruce alone

 

BruceBanner: ony-tay I will ill-kay ou-yay

 

ThorOdinson: What language is that?

 

SteveRogers: Don't worry about it big guy

 

ThorOdinson: Okay! 

 

TonyStark: o-day it ruce-bay

 

ClintBarton: What is happening

 

BruceBanner: Nothing Clint :)

 

ClintBarton: Threatened.

 

LokiOdinson  is now online.

 

LokiOdinson: What is this buffoonery.

 

TonyStark: Good evening, princess.

 

LokiOdinson: Eugh. Stark.

 

SteveRogers: Hello, Satan.

 

LokiOdinson: Rogers.

 

ThorOdinson: Hello brother! How are you enjoying your sleepover with our sister?

 

LokiOdinson: She's more tolerable than you.

 

ClintBarton: Oh so the demon spawn isn't at home?

 

BruceBanner: You guys have a sister?

 

LokiOdinson: Yes. Hela. She's older. And I stay with her sometimes to alleviate the stress at home.

 

ThorOdinson: And he leaves his snakes here overnight! I do not know how to care for a snake!

 

LokiOdinson: I leave you a simple guide every time. It's not complicated.

 

TonyStark: Why not bring the snakes with you?

 

SteveRogers: Snakes? Plural? How many?

 

LokiOdinson: Unlike Stark's wild guess, I have three.

 

ThorOdinson: Evil snakes.

 

ClintBarton: Why three. I couldn't handle one.

 

LokiOdinson: Of course you couldn't.

 

BruceBanner: Ouch.

 

TonyStark: Can I get an F in the chat

 

SteveRogers: Clint can barely take care of himself.

 

ClintBarton: That's very true.

 

ThorOdinson: He takes them out of their tanks and lets them slither around on his face.

 

LokiOdinson: NO I DO NOT. 

 

ThorOdinson: He talks to them in hiss noises.

 

LokiOdinson: I WOULD NEVER.

 

SteveRogers: Keep talking. 

 

TonyStark: I appreciate this blackmail material.

 

LokiOdinson: Thor I forbid you to tell them any more.

 

ThorOdinson: You don't own me.

 

ClintBarton: BOOM

 

ThorOdinson: He asks them advice. 

 

ThorOdinson: Usually concerning the senior he has a crush on.

 

TonyStark: I didn't know the forces of evil had time for romance.

 

LokiOdinson: Brother. I beg of you. No more.

 

SteveRogers: Who do you fancy, Loki?

 

LokiOdinson: It's none of your business.

 

ClintBarton: What's she like?

 

TonyStark: Tell us about her, Krampus.

 

ThorOdinson: Hah. "Her".

 

ClintBarton: ah, issa man huh.

 

LokiOdinson: Yes. Is that a problem, Barton?

 

ClintBarton: Hey man I don't judge. 

 

ClintBarton: I mean, I'm friends with Steve and Bucky. They practically spend every waking moment sucking each other's faces.

 

TonyStark: Me neither man. Homophobia is not an epic gamer moment.

 

LokiOdinson: I don't know what that means.

 

ThorOdinson: Nor do I. Just go with it.

 

ThorOdinson: I could tell you about him. Though I do not think you guys know him.

 

ThorOdinson: Loki often rants about him.

 

SteveRogers: I don't spend that much time with Bucky...

 

ClintBarton: Yes you do.

 

TonyStark: Yes you do.

 

ThorOdinson: You spend an adequate amount of time with James.

 

LokiOdinson: I've never seen you two apart.

 

SteveRogers: We're in love sorry you guys can't relate :/

 

TonyStark: Love is for people who have hearts.

 

ClintBarton: I have a girlfriend but okay steve.

 

SteveRogers: Shut up Clint

 

ClintBarton: No

 

LokiOdinson: I don't like when the conversation isn't about me. 

 

ThorOdinson: Would you prefer I spill the beans about your crush?

 

LokiOdinson: No.

 

TonyStark: Do it anyway. He's like 15, how threatening is that.

 

SteveRogers: You've already said that.

 

TonyStark: Well I said it again.

 

LokiOdinson: 15 and a half.

 

ClintBarton: Does it matter?

 

LokiOdinson: Do you matter?

 

ClintBarton: Nope.

 

TonyStark: Mood.

 

SteveRogers: What happened to Bruce? It doesn't say hes logged off.

 

BruceBanner: Im still here! Just reading. Kinda tired.

 

ThorOdinson: Oh, great. I'm glad to see you're still awake, Bruce.

 

LokiOdinson: Oh? 

 

LokiOdinson: Ohhhh…;)

 

ThorOdinson: Loki no.

 

LokiOdinson: Loki yes.