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Steve Rogers I Will Eat Your Fucking Eyelids

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Monday, March 4th.


TonyStark has created a chat.

TonyStark has added 9 users to the chat.

TonyStark has named the chat HoesAndTricks.




TonyStark: Welcome to the chat, brothers and sisters.


BruceBanner: Tony no.


TonyStark: Bruce is blocked because he thinks he can tell me what to do.


SteveRogers: Tony is blocked because he keeps making pointless chats.


TonyStark: Steve is blocked because hes gay


ClintBarton: Tony is blocked because hes home of phobic


NatashaRomanov: You're all blocked for being fucking annoying.


ClintBarton: Fair


SteveRogers: Fair


BruceBanner: Fair


TonyStark: Fair


NatashaRomanov: Who's all here


TonyStark: Why don't you check the user list, wise one


NatashaRomanov: Why don't I roundhouse kick you in the dick


TonyStark: Fair


BruceBanner: You added. Loki. To. A. Chat.


TonyStark: Thor would've whined if I didn't. 


TonyStark: He's like, 15. What real threat is that.


SteveRogers: He owns like seven snakes. 


ClintBarton: He threatened to kill me


SteveRogers: Me too


BruceBanner: Me too


NatashaRomanov: Me too


SteveRogers: Many times actually.


TonyStark: He's just going through his edgy emo phase


TonyStark: We've all been there.


NatashaRomanov: No. No we haven't 


TonyStark: If you didn't cry when MCR broke up, I don't want to associate with you.


ClintBarton: Can I get an F in the chat for all the MCR fans that never got to see a show before it was too late


BruceBanner: F


TonyStark: F


SteveRogers: Whos MCR


TonyStark: Blocked


SteveRogers: okay go off


NatashaRomanov: It was a punk band from the 2000s of something like that. 


SteveRogers: Oh. I don't like modern music


TonyStark: Prude


SteveRogers: Surprised you can even spell that word


TonyStark: It's five letters. 


TonyStark: You see that spot on the ground right there? That's where you need to land when you get off your high horse.


ClintBarton: OUCH


BruceBanner: That was poetry


SteveRogers: You're just mad because you're single, its okay tony.


TonyStark: Single and ready to mingle


TonyStark: Speaking of which, how's your goth boyfriend Steven?


NatashaRomanov: Oh?


SteveRogers: He's referring to bucky. And he's not goth just sad.


BruceBanner: Mood


ClintBarton: Fucking bood.


TonyStark: And you, Brucie, hows that sweet Norwegian ass?


BruceBanner: what


ClintBarton: Does Thor want your Midwesterner gam gams?


BruceBanner: MY WHAT


ClintBarton: Your


ClintBarton: GAM GAMS.


BruceBanner: That's disgusting


SteveRogers: That's not even a thing


NatashaRomanov: This is getting weird...good job tony


TonyStark: It's my specialty


TonyStark: Why is NO ONE else on? It's not even eight thirty


ClintBarton: Thor probably goes to bed at like 4 in the afternoon


BruceBanner: No he doesn't


SteveRogers: You would know


BruceBanner: STEVE


NatashaRomanov: Who's Vision and what kind of name is that


TonyStark: He's my student and that's not his real name


TonyStark: At least I don't think so


TonyStark: I hope not...


ClintBarton: You have a student?


TonyStark: He's a little nerd shit with 0 social skills so I help him make friends and in return, he assists me on projects.


TonyStark: Sweet kid.


TonyStark: Cool accent


TonyStark: It's like. Londoner. IDK if he's actually british or just weird


BruceBanner: Probably just weird


 TonyStark: Maybe


NatashaRomanov: This is boring. Deuces. 


NatashaRomanov  is offline.


ClintBarton: Boooooo Nat 


TonyStark: What a loser


SteveRogers: That's not nice. 


TonyStark: Im not nice


BruceBanner: We know


TonyStark: shut up ur soft


ClintBarton: Soft


BruceBanner: Don't call me soft I'll cry


SteveRogers: aww


ThorOdinson  is now online.


ThorOdinson: Hello friends! I thank you for adding me to this chat.


TonyStark: Of course big guy. We need someone to wrangle dark lord loki


ThorOdinson: Dark lord? 


ClintBarton: A little evil man


TonyStark: real rowdy boy


ClintBarton: satan child


ThorOdinson: No! Loki is very sweet!


SteveRogers: He's threatened to kill all of us more than once


ThorOdinson: He's goth.


BruceBanner: Hi Thor.


ThorOdinson: Hello Bruce! How are you, my small friend?


BruceBanner: Small?


TonyStark: Everyone's small compared to you, big guy.


ThorOdinson: Yes, I know. But that is okay. Small friends are good friends.


ClintBarton: We're all average sized humans.


SteveRogers: Except Tony


TonyStark: Fuck off


ThorOdinson: It is okay to be small, Tony. I was small when I was younger!


BruceBanner: I don't believe it. 


ClintBarton: Thor bust outta his mom like the Kool-Aid man.


SteveRogers: Ouch.


TonyStark: My metaphorical uterus hurt reading that.


ThorOdinson: You have a uterus, Tony? That is okay too. 


TonyStark: No, it's just an expression


SteveRogers: Thor how are you always so happy


ThorOdinson: What is there to be sad about? 


ClintBarton: So much man, so much.


ThorOdinson: I am aware of the state of the world. But there is nothing I can do about it. I have my family, my friends, my school, and a bright future ahead of me.


ThorOdinson: There is nothing for me to be sad about if I cannot control it.


TonyStark: Damn man.


ClintBarton: I might have to sit down and rethink my life.


SteveRogers: Things must be different in Norway.


ThorOdinson: Very different. Colder. All the time. People are quick to judge, as my family's names are all derived from ancient mythology.


BruceBanner: I noticed that. I think it's cool. A lot cooler than Bruce.


ThorOdinson: Thank you. I like your name. It fits you.


TonyStark: Should we leave you two alone?


ClintBarton: OwO whats this


BruceBanner: Knock it off


SteveRogers: Leave them alone. They can't help being gay.


ThorOdinson: Of course not! Sexuality is not a choice.


TonyStark: Another expression bud.


ThorOdinson: I know! Just stating.


TonyStark: So smart.


ClintBarton: Best friend material


TonyStark: Boyfriend material if you're a certain science nerd


SteveRogers: Tony leave Bruce alone


BruceBanner: ony-tay I will ill-kay ou-yay


ThorOdinson: What language is that?


SteveRogers: Don't worry about it big guy


ThorOdinson: Okay! 


TonyStark: o-day it ruce-bay


ClintBarton: What is happening


BruceBanner: Nothing Clint :)


ClintBarton: Threatened.


LokiOdinson  is now online.


LokiOdinson: What is this buffoonery.


TonyStark: Good evening, princess.


LokiOdinson: Eugh. Stark.


SteveRogers: Hello, Satan.


LokiOdinson: Rogers.


ThorOdinson: Hello brother! How are you enjoying your sleepover with our sister?


LokiOdinson: She's more tolerable than you.


ClintBarton: Oh so the demon spawn isn't at home?


BruceBanner: You guys have a sister?


LokiOdinson: Yes. Hela. She's older. And I stay with her sometimes to alleviate the stress at home.


ThorOdinson: And he leaves his snakes here overnight! I do not know how to care for a snake!


LokiOdinson: I leave you a simple guide every time. It's not complicated.


TonyStark: Why not bring the snakes with you?


SteveRogers: Snakes? Plural? How many?


LokiOdinson: Unlike Stark's wild guess, I have three.


ThorOdinson: Evil snakes.


ClintBarton: Why three. I couldn't handle one.


LokiOdinson: Of course you couldn't.


BruceBanner: Ouch.


TonyStark: Can I get an F in the chat


SteveRogers: Clint can barely take care of himself.


ClintBarton: That's very true.


ThorOdinson: He takes them out of their tanks and lets them slither around on his face.


LokiOdinson: NO I DO NOT. 


ThorOdinson: He talks to them in hiss noises.


LokiOdinson: I WOULD NEVER.


SteveRogers: Keep talking. 


TonyStark: I appreciate this blackmail material.


LokiOdinson: Thor I forbid you to tell them any more.


ThorOdinson: You don't own me.


ClintBarton: BOOM


ThorOdinson: He asks them advice. 


ThorOdinson: Usually concerning the senior he has a crush on.


TonyStark: I didn't know the forces of evil had time for romance.


LokiOdinson: Brother. I beg of you. No more.


SteveRogers: Who do you fancy, Loki?


LokiOdinson: It's none of your business.


ClintBarton: What's she like?


TonyStark: Tell us about her, Krampus.


ThorOdinson: Hah. "Her".


ClintBarton: ah, issa man huh.


LokiOdinson: Yes. Is that a problem, Barton?


ClintBarton: Hey man I don't judge. 


ClintBarton: I mean, I'm friends with Steve and Bucky. They practically spend every waking moment sucking each other's faces.


TonyStark: Me neither man. Homophobia is not an epic gamer moment.


LokiOdinson: I don't know what that means.


ThorOdinson: Nor do I. Just go with it.


ThorOdinson: I could tell you about him. Though I do not think you guys know him.


ThorOdinson: Loki often rants about him.


SteveRogers: I don't spend that much time with Bucky...


ClintBarton: Yes you do.


TonyStark: Yes you do.


ThorOdinson: You spend an adequate amount of time with James.


LokiOdinson: I've never seen you two apart.


SteveRogers: We're in love sorry you guys can't relate :/


TonyStark: Love is for people who have hearts.


ClintBarton: I have a girlfriend but okay steve.


SteveRogers: Shut up Clint


ClintBarton: No


LokiOdinson: I don't like when the conversation isn't about me. 


ThorOdinson: Would you prefer I spill the beans about your crush?


LokiOdinson: No.


TonyStark: Do it anyway. He's like 15, how threatening is that.


SteveRogers: You've already said that.


TonyStark: Well I said it again.


LokiOdinson: 15 and a half.


ClintBarton: Does it matter?


LokiOdinson: Do you matter?


ClintBarton: Nope.


TonyStark: Mood.


SteveRogers: What happened to Bruce? It doesn't say hes logged off.


BruceBanner: Im still here! Just reading. Kinda tired.


ThorOdinson: Oh, great. I'm glad to see you're still awake, Bruce.


LokiOdinson: Oh? 


LokiOdinson: Ohhhh…;)


ThorOdinson: Loki no.


LokiOdinson: Loki yes.