Chapter 1: Author’s Note and Trigger Warning
Once this book is completely finished I will be posting it chapter by chapter as it has been extremely mentally draining to write, so I hope you’ll all forgive me if it takes a little while. Either way, I hope this intrigues you, and you decide to stick around to read it.
If you do choose to read it, know now that this work is going to be about unpleasant topics. I’ll be updating tags as I write more, but to cover the general trigger warnings, it’s going to be about emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in a relationship. If you believe you could be triggered by these topics, please do not read my book. Take care of yourselves loves.
All this being said, if this interests you, I highly suggest you check out the author and work this is inspired by, I can honestly say that their books are books I have gone back to read countless times.
Chapter 2: It Was Good Until it Wasn’t
So I’m not finished with the book yet, but I have a good eleven chapters written, so I’ve decided to post. The chapters will be short, but it seemed best with what I’m writing. Heed the tags and trigger warnings in the previous chapter please.
Barry Allen bumped into Tristan Hill at a coffee shop, their cups slipping from both of their hands. They both laughed about it, bought new drinks, then sat at a table together and talked while sipping their coffees. Near the end they exchanged numbers, planning to go out on a second date, if that could be considered the first.
The second date was amazing. At the coffee shop again, sitting and talking, getting to know each other. Barry told him he was in college, Tristan told Barry he was 32, and working as a bartender.
Their third date was to go see a movie. Some random superhero movie, where at the end, Barry asked if he believed in the impossible. Tristan just laughed and said it was called the impossible for a reason. The comment was pushed aside and wasn't thought about for awhile.
Their fourth date was dinner at a nice restaurant. Nothing too expensive, Barry insisted on that. It was romantic. They went to Tristan's apartment after dinner and slept together for the first time. It wasn't Barry's first time with a man, but he was still inexperienced.
Their fifth date was supposed to be at a museum but Tristan said something came up. Barry stayed at his dorm and watched Netflix.
After four months together Tristan asked Barry to move in with him. Barry said yes. Him and Barry shared a bed now. It was weird, but nice. Not having to pay for housing was good too.
At five months, him and Barry fought. Tristan threw something. It broke. Barry cleaned it up while Tristan walked into their room and slammed the door.
At six months, Barry asked if he wanted to meet Joe and Iris. Tristan said yes. Something came up though, and Barry went to Central City alone.
Around eight months, Barry said something stupid. Tristan didn't speak to Barry for nearly two days. Barry broke down crying and apologized.
At nine months he hit Barry. Barry didn't say anything. Tristan apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. Barry believed him.
After ten months, if Tristan moved too quickly or raised his voice, Barry flinched. He always said it wouldn't happen again. He said he was trying. Barry still believed him.
At eleven months, Tristan made fun of Barry's belief in the impossible. He laughed about it with his friends. Barry stayed quiet.
After a year, Tristan disappeared for a week. Barry asked too many questions. He told Barry to shut up. He did.
Barry didn't go out much, he didn't really need to. He didn't have many friends outside Central City. He went to classes, came home, made dinner, and went to sleep. Sometimes they'd have sex if they both felt like it. Sometimes they'd fuck even if Barry didn't feel like it.
Whenever they fought, Barry always apologized. Whenever something went wrong, Barry apologized.
Barry apologized for asking stupid questions.
Barry apologized when he didn't start dinner because a lecture went late.
Barry apologized when he had to go to the hospital for a sprained wrist when Tristan grabbed Barry too hard.
Barry apologized for complaining when Tristan was the one who gave him a place to live, so what exactly did he have to complain about?
Barry apologized when he wasn't in the mood, and made it up to him, no matter how much he hated himself for it. He'd lie there letting Tristan do what he wanted, while silent tears ran down his face.
Two years they were together. His last two years of college. Then Tristan disappeared. Barry came home from class one day and the whole apartment was cleared out.
Barry packed his bags and left.
Chapter 3: Never Wanted You Back
There’s a small possibility I forgot to update this? Life has been a big fucking oof. Anyway I woke up at two in the morning and I’ve been up for about twelve hours (I got like two hours of sleep) so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes.
It had been years since Tristan. Barry was living by himself, had his job at the CCPD, and his side job as the Flash. He was doing good. He still had his moments where someone would move too fast, or speak too loud, and he'd have to hold himself back from flinching, but he was working on it.
It was like he was a whole different person when he wore the Flash suit though. The dorky CSI was nowhere to be seen behind the mask.
He wasn't wearing the mask when it happened.
Barry bumped into him at Jitters, their cups slipping from both of their hands. Barry froze. He didn't laugh this time. Barry looked up into familiar eyes, a grin on the older man's face.
Barry inhaled sharply as it registered who he'd just bumped into.
"Barry? God it's been ages! Still as clumsy as ever I see, huh. Reminds you of our first date, doesn't it? Spilled coffee seems to be our thing."
"H-hey Tristan." Barry forced a smile as he squatted down to wipe up his spilled drink. "Yeah it's been awhile. Hey uh, I'm late for work, gotta get going."
Tristan patted Barry on the back as the younger man stood. "See you around Barr! Don't worry about the coffee."
Barry hurried himself out of the cafe, as quickly as he could without breaking into a run. Only when he got to his lab did he allow himself to react. His legs nearly gave out from under him, he had to lean against the wall for support. He felt dizzy, almost as if it wasn't real. Once he pulled himself together, he took a few shaky breaths, then got back to work.
He pushed through his workday at normal speed, he couldn't bring himself to speed through anything, even though doing it like this made it seem as though his work would never end. Somehow he made it to the end of the day with nothing but a report to put on Captain Singh's desk.
He still had a bit so he took the time to sit and breath. It wasn't the end of the world. He only saw him, it wasn't like he would be in town forever.
"See you around Barr!"
Tristan's voice echoed in his thoughts. Barry shook his head and gathered his papers to get to Singh. He knocked twice on the door. Hearing a muffled "enter" he pushed open the door.
"Allen, I assume that's the report that's due tomorrow?"
Barry nodded and put it on Singh's desk. "I'm heading out for the evening."
"See you tomorrow Allen, don't be late." The police captain called after him, worry running through his mind at the appearance of the CSI.