Heather Duke hated going to these Remington parties. Loud music, strong smells of sweat and alcohol, teenagers making out in corners, guys not knowing when to back off-the list could go on. Personally, Heather would rather be at home in her bed reading a book about to fall asleep, but she had to come here. Heather Chandler insisted they have to keep up their "reputation", which Duke thought was stupid. They're already as high up in the social ladder as they can be. What's the point in trying to go higher? Duke will never understand.
"Heather," someone calls out.
Duke turns around to see it's Heather McNamara. She smelled like ninety percent of the teenagers in here. Her hair was a bit damp and a big smile was plastered onto her face.
"Hey, Mac," Duke greeted. "What have you been doing all night?"
"The usual," Mac shrugged her shoulders. "Getting wasted, dancing, making out with people, dancing…What about you?"
"Just been standing here avoiding any interaction with anyone, more or less so men."
"Ugh, c'mon Duke. Just one time can you at least cooperate a little bit at these parties. Or at least pretend you're enjoying yourself."
"No can do. It would go against my code," Duke responded.
"Yes, my code."
Mac looked Duke up and down in a shady way. "Fuck your code!" She stated firmly.
Duke looked mildly offended.
"Look, I'm sorry I offended you but for one night, please, go against your code. Let's go have some fun!" Mac exclaimed grabbing Duke's hands and dragging her to the dance floor. Well, she attempted to drag Duke to the dance floor. Duke just would not budge.
"No, rather not," Duke stated ripping her hands out of Mac's grasp.
"Please?" Mac pleaded.
"No! Why don't you ask Chandler to go dance with you?"
"Because Chandler went off somewhere to give a blow job to some college dude."
Duke should've expected that. It wouldn't be like Chandler to not have at least one sexual interaction with a guy before they leave.
She closed her eyes in frustration. Couldn't she have one night to herself, just one night is all she asks. That could still happen. She could ignore Mac and walk straight to her car and head home. If she did that though, then she would feel Chandler's wrath on Monday about her leaving early and she would rather not have to deal with that.
Duke opened her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Guess one dance can't hurt."
This answer caused Mac to squeal jumping up and down clapping her hands together. Mac roughly tugged Duke's arm leading her to the dance floor.
When they got there, Mac immediately started to dance, hands above her head with her hips shaking from side to side. Meanwhile, Duke stood there arms folded across her chest and watched.
Mac looked up and saw Duke wasn't dancing and let out a loud groan. "Duke, please! Dance a little," she said.
Duke reluctantly started to move. She didn't know what to do so she did a weird hip swaying thing. Her hands in her skirt pockets moving from side to side not keeping in time with the beat. It looked awkward. Mac never looked awkward because she has some experience with dance, she cheerleads for goodness sake! Duke doesn't know shit on even how to hip sway correctly. She seemed so out of place.
Because of Duke feeling self conscious, she tried to slyly walk off the dance floor but, Mac grabbed the end of her jacket and pulled her back in. Mac stepped into Duke's personal space bubble loosely wrapping her arms around Duke's shoulders. Mac still kept dancing, swaying her hips methodically. On the other hand, Duke stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.
"It's okay to move a little," Mac whispered in Duke's ear.
Duke looked down and saw that Mac was smirking at her a little bit. This made Duke's heart beat faster than it already was. She finally got the courage to move slightly, bobbing her head up and down to the beat.
"That's it," Mac encouraged.
Duke smiled in return.
This dance went on for a few minutes, but now Duke was full on dancing shaking her hips and snapping along with the beat while Mac went to go get herself a drink. Mac came back smelling more like alcohol and resumed her dancing. They both were talking and laughing, overall having a good time. For once, Duke will admit she having a pleasant time here.
Mac closed her eyes from laughing at a joke that Duke told, then when she opened her eyes she saw Duke dancing and froze. Duke was dancing dorkily and you could tell she didn't know what the hell she was doing, but to Mac it was...endearing to say the least. She rarely ever saw this fun, outgoing, awkward side of Duke. Mac still just stood there looking at her in awe.
"Mac? Mac?" Duke snapped her fingers in front of Mac's face.
Mac snapped out of her trance and looked up at Duke.
"Hey, you ok-" Duke started but was instantly cut off by Mac...kissing her?
Why would Mac be kissing her? Isn't she straight? Maybe it was the alcohol running through her veins that caused her to do this. Duke will never know. Just as the kiss started, it ended. Mac stepped back looking at Duke with wide eyes. Duke, certainly shocked, stood there with her mouth hanging open. Before Duke could get a word out of her mouth, Mac ran off at lightning speed.
Duke stared in the direction Mac went. Not the first time Mac has done that.
Heather Duke/Heather Chandler
TW: Mention of Suicide, D slur
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
"You're so insufferable sometimes!" Chandler screamed at Duke, her voice echoing through the quiet household.
"Me? Insufferable?" Duke scoffed. "Take a good look in the mirror. If I had a dictionary right now and went to the word 'insufferable', your name would be listed!"
"You think you're so fucking clever, don't you?" Chandler squinted her eyes. "If I had a dictionary right now and went to the word 'bulimia', there would be a picture of your face!"
Chandler regretted saying that.
That comment only made Duke angrier. "Why is everything a competition to you! That's not the point right now! The point I'm trying to get across is you always say I'm irritating when you're the most irritating person in school and you know that! You are such a hypocrite!"
"Well, yeah. When you're head bitch of the school, that's kind of your job. Not like you would know anything about that, now would you?" Chandler said.
It took all of Duke's power to not let out a blood-curdling scream right then and there.
"Why do you do that? Everytime I point out one of your flaws, you always have to point out mine and put me down as a defense mechanism! You're not flawless for fucks sake! On top of that, I’m your girlfriend. You know I would never on purpose try to hurt you!" Duke yelled.
"I do not put you down!"
"Yes, you do! You just did!"
Chandler couldn't think of any comeback for once. This was new to her. She didn't know how to respond so she said her classic line:
"Shut up, Heather!" Chandler snapped.
Duke threw her hands up in the air in defeat.
"That's it. I'm done. I'm officially done with your bullshit! We're through!" Duke said as she was opening the front door.
Chandler was in shock. "Y-you can't do that!" She protested.
"Just did," Duke retorted.
The loud slam of the door echoed throughout the house.
Chandler was heart broken to say the least. There was a dull throbbing ache in her chest. It physically hurt. It hurt so much, Chandler had to go sit down on the couch. She put her head in her hands thinking of the good memories she made with Duke when they were together. As she got deeper and deeper into her thoughts, she started thinking of where she went wrong in the relationship. All the mistakes she'd done, pointing them out one by one. She kept going farther down in the rabbit hole of her mind, descending further and further into insanity. Her brain just wouldn't shut off. She started to hyperventilate, her breathing getting worse as she began to cry. She let out a guttural scream. Soon, the dull ache in her chest was taken over by a fiery rage.
Chandler quickly stood up taking her shoe off. She sent her shoe hurling through the air colliding with the wall, leaving a big dent.
She'll pay, Chandler thought. She'll regret breaking up with me.
The next day, Duke drove to school like any other normal day. Found a parking space, parked, got out of the car, paid no mind to the amount of stares she was getting, the usual. Although, the amount of people staring at her were more than the 'usual'. Some people even pointed and snickered, some looked at her curiously, others looked at her in disgust. Duke shrugged it off and walked into school. The staring continued, but again, she didn't care.
Duke arrived at her locker only to see the word 'Heather Dyke' etched into it. This completely took her by surprise. How did people find out?
Duke felt someone tap on her shoulder and she turned around. It was McNamara.
"Heather. Is it true?" Mac asked.
"What's true?" Duke questioned seemingly oblivious.
"That, you know, you're a...a lesbian," Mac said whispering lesbian carefully as if it was a forbidden word at school.
"What? No, of course not!" Duke lied. "Who told you that?"
"Well, Chandler's been going around telling everyone that you came out as a...lesbian and tried to kiss her."
Duke's whole world shattered in that moment. Chandler, someone she still loved, was now outing her out to the whole school. Duke could flip the rumor on its head and say that Heather Chandler is a lesbian. In fact, Chandler is more of a big, fat lesbian than Duke is. People wouldn't believe that though. They would think Duke is trying to get back at Chandler by saying the same thing.
"Heather?" Mac softly called out snapping Duke out of her thoughts.
"Y-yeah?" Duke meekly asked.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You're crying," Mac said pointing at a lone tear running down Duke's cheek.
Duke swiftly wiped it off turning back around to enter her locker number.
Mac put a hand on Duke's shoulder and said, "Hey. If it makes you feel any better, I don't care that you're a-"
"I'm not a lesbian!" Duke semi-yelled as she turned around quickly to face Mac.
Nearly, everyone in the halls heard it, turning their heads toward the Heathers. A moment passed and people went back to what they were doing.
"I-I'm not a lesbian," Duke said significantly quieter. She turned back around to her locker and took out her Chemistry book.
"Ok. I believe you," Mac replied.
"Thanks." Duke softly said.
Duke closed her locker and walked to her first class of the day.
The rest of the day was in ruins. The stares she got in the halls were becoming more noticeable, people whispered slurs under their breath, she couldn't even go to the rest of her classes without feeling the class look at her in disgust. She felt...isolated, different. Is this what it felt like to be a nobody?
It was lunchtime and Duke hid out in the girl's bathroom, not ready to face Heather Chandler. Also, she needed to purge, it was her daily routine. Sticking her two fingers towards the back of her throat as far as she can go, then heaving and gagging violently. All the food she ate today cam out into the toilet bowl. As she was throwing up her guts in the farthest bathroom stall, the Heathers walked in.
"Oh, look, Heather. It's Heather Dyke puking her guts out as usual," Chandler said to Mac.
"Heather..." Mac said sounding shocked.
Duke didn't speak for a minute, breathing heavily, still trying to compose herself.
"What? Not gonna say anything?" Chandler sneered to Duke.
"Heather, stop." Mac pleaded.
Sounds of Duke throwing up filled the room.
"Fucking disgusting," Chandler muttered under her breath.
"...Go away...Heather." Duke said through ragged breaths. She started gagging vigorously then threw up the last of her food in the toilet.
She flushed it and walked out of the stall.
"Oh, look. She's finally done purging." Chandler taunted.
Duke took in a shaky breath. "Fuck off," she said.
"How original," Chandler snarkily smiled.
"Heath-" Mac tried to cut in.
"Shut up, Heather!" Chandler yelled.
Mac went silent.
"Heather," Chandler said to Duke. "Congratulations, you are now officially kicked out of the Heathers. We can't have a lesbian in this group. Sorry, there's a no lesbians allowed rule."
Duke's world fell apart right in that very moment. All she could see is red. All the effort she put in to rise to the top of the social hierarchy, only to have be thrown away in seconds. Oh, how she would love to expose Chandler right now, yelling it out for everyone to hear. Telling everyone that Chandler too is a lesbian. She couldn't though. She didn't have the courage.
Meanwhile, Chandler felt a surge of pride and guilt rush into her system. Pride from giving Duke a piece of her mind. Saying, "how dare you break up with me" and "I have the power to ruin your reputation in one snap". Guilt because the way light in Duke's green eyes went out in a matter of seconds haunted her. Sure, she's ruined lives before, but not of someone she deeply cared about.
Chandler faked a smile at Duke and walked out of the room, Mac following close behind. Mac paused for a second to look at Duke then walked out.
Duke rushed back into the stall to throw up again once more.
The next few months of school became a living hell. It became school news that Heather Duke, second bitch in command, was not apart of the heathers anymore. This gave the jocks, cheerleaders, nobodies, etc. power to bully Duke. Even though Duke never really messed with the cheerleaders or jocks they still gave her crap. The cheerleaders would always walk in groups in the halls as to be "safe from Duke. The jock would go up to Duke and offer her sex saying, "I could make you straight." Made her feel really fucking uncomfortable.
The nobodies were a different story though. They took advantage of their new found power at any given opportunity.
Calling her countless names, pushing her in the halls, taunting her, it was all to much. Even some of the kids she bullied had no mercy on her.
She wanted it to stop.
She had no more "friends". She had to sit at the back of the lunchroom by the loners like Martha Dump truck and Jason Dean. She quickly stopped sitting by Jason as he was starting to creep her out. He kept telling her to kill her friends for what they did to her.
The last thing she needs is to be convicted for a murder and thrown in jail.
Duke wanted to literally drop dead on the floor than face her classmates. She felt alone all the time and had no one to talk to. No one liked her. People avoided her, treated her like she was a disease. She hated it.
She hated everyone ignoring her, she hated no one feared her, she hated that she got "replaced" by some bitch named Veronica. She hated McNamara, she hated Chandler, she hated Veronica, she hated everything!
Don't even let her get started on the voices that ran through her mind constantly 24/7. Kill yourself or No one would care if you left or Why do you even exist in this world or her personal favorite, Everything about you is so terrible!
She wanted it all to go away.
She didn't like the feeling of not being wanted. She didn't like the feeling that any time she was a mile away from school she wanted to throw up or had the strong urge to cry. Maybe even do both.
She wanted to turn her brain off. She didn't want to not live on this beautiful place called Earth, no. (Which is ironic because she is literally killing herself with her bulimia.) She just wanted to make the thoughts go away for a day. That's all she asked, but they didn't stop. They would never stop. What other choice did she have?
Duke didn't think long and hard what she had to do to make the voices stop. She realized there was only one solution. Someone else may have thought differently and would have most likely suggested something else, but in her mind it was a pretty good plan.
Her mother found her dead that night in her room. Heather Duke hung herself, the noose attached to the ceiling fan. Her mom let out a loud wail at the loss of her daughter. She collapsed to the floor crying. She crawled to her daughter where her feet were dangling, wrapping her arms around her daughters legs.
"Heather! Please, no! God, no, Please!" Her mom cried.
Heather's dad ran upstairs.
"Sweetheart, what's wro-" He started but never finished.
He stood there, frozen like a statue. He couldn't move. He felt everything go numb. He was at a loss for words. He had lost a child, a child he loved dearly. Silent tears ran down his cheeks.
He looked over at the desk beside her bed and saw a note. He got the courage to walk over to it picking it up. He carefully unfolded it, looking at the words on the page. It read:
Sometimes the people you love the most become your greatest enemy. I want the voices in my head to stop. I love you Mom, Dad, and Hunter. I'm sorry.
Heather's dad was not holding back his tears now.
Next came her little brother, running into the room.
"Mom! Have you seen Heather? I wanted to sho-" He started. Just like his dad, he never finished his sentence.
Her brother slowly walked up to her body. He took her hand in his and immediately felt the coldness in it. How light it felt and how he could easily move it. He looked up and saw her eyes were still open, the, light completely drained out of them. There was not human behind her eyes, there was nothing, just a cold corpse.
Heather's dad finally got the courage to move to the phone and call an ambulance.
Heather's brother felt his world go dark. He blocked out the sound of his mother crying and his dad calling the police.
Word got around at school that Heather Duke killed herself. The funeral was in a week. Everyone was shaken up and guilty, mostly Heather Chandler and Mac, since they knew her.
Chandler, Mac and Veronica sat in silence at lunch, picking at their food. Chandler was wreck, tears coming out of her eyes but forcing herself not to cry in the middle of lunch. It was her fault Duke was dead. If she wouldn't have tried to get her revenge she so hoped for, maybe Duke would be sitting here right now. That fiery rage that was in her chest was taken over by a strong sense of guilt.
Mac had tears in her eyes and was full on balling. She stood by and watched. She saw how Duke was and the excessive bullying from Chandler, but she wasn't brave enough to stand to her and stop it. That made her cry harder. Veronica rubbed her back as an attempt to comfort her.
Mac wiped her eyes and looked at Chandler. "Heather," she said her voice cracking.
"What?" Chandler asked still looking down at her food.
"I hate you."
Chandler looked up at Mac seeing the anger in her eyes.
"I hate myself too," Chandler replied.
"Why'd you even spread that rumor anyway? So what, Duke was a lesbian? What makes her so different? Huh?" Mac questioned.
"She broke up with me," Chandler quietly said.
Mac sat there stunned. Her face of shock quickly turned into anger.
"Oh, just because she broke up with you, you had to go around and out her like that? That's bullshit! This is Sherwood, Ohio. Did you not think it through that people would mercilessly attack her? Your pathetic. And I saw you as someone brave."
Chandler slammed her hands on the table standing up. Everyone in the cafeteria went silent and turned to the Heathers.
"It's not like you did anything to help! You didn't try any attempts to stop me or other people bullying her!" Chandler yelled.
Mac now stood up. "Oh, yeah! Well, this wouldn't have happened if you would stop feeling so revengeful all the time! Just because Duke broke up with your sorry ass, doesn't mean you had to betray her like that!"
That whole lunchroom gasped.
Mac faced towards the crowd. "You hear that, everyone! That's right! The Almighty heather Chandler is a lesbian and was dating Heather Duke! This, coward outed her just because Duke broke up with her! She is a selfish bitch that doesn't think of her consequences!" Mac turned to Chandler. "I hope you suffer the pain Duke went through! I hope you burn in hell!" Mac screamed.
She walked out of the lunchroom, Veronica following her.
Chandler stood there frozen. She turned her head and saw everyone look at her in disgust not because she was a lesbian, no. Because she pushed someone to the brink of suicide with her pettiness. Chandler slowly sat back down putting her face in her hands. She started crying, shaking violently. She felt so overwhelmed. She cried and cried even after the bell rang. She sat in that same spot for the rest of the day crying her eyes out.
Consult someone if you are ever feeling these thoughts. Death is never the way out.