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You’re A Mean One, Richard

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Richard walked into his and Johnny’s shared apartment. “What the fuck did you do?” Johnny turned his head round’. The shorter man was currently hanging up a strand of paper snowflakes. “Hear me out babe.” Johnny made his way down the dinky latter. Richard stuck out his tongue, making Johnny roll his eyes.  “I figured I should bring some Christmas spirit into this place!” Richard carelessly pushed past him. “You know Christmas isn’t real. It’s just something Americans made up to keep em’ from blowing their heads off.” Johnny chuckled while following him into their living room. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jean pocket. “Funny enough people like jumpin’ from high places during this season! And hanging themselves up instead of bells or stupid ribbons.” Richard sat on their frameless couch and smiled. “See? You get it.” Johnny sat beside him and offered him, Richard waved him off. “I’ve been tryina’ quit.” “Pssht. I’ll give you a week.” Richard looked over to the only two windows of the apartment. A fat green tree stood infront of them. “Damn, that thing’s ugly.” “I know but I wanted one this year.” “Don’t leave those lights on for too long or the electric bill is gonna sky rocket.” “Stingy. You really are a Jew.” “So are you.” “At least I got you a present. Wait here.” Johnny hopped up fast enough to shift the couch backwards. Richard mindlessly trailed behind Johnny towards the other room. “Close your eyes!” “Do I have to?” Johnny threw his shoe at the satan spawn. Richard huffed and obeyed his fellow Jew. Johnny was shuffling a lot of stuff around, he probably forgot where he placed the damn thing. “I can help you look if you’re too stupid-“ Richard felt something lick his hand. “Gross! John-“ He opened his eyes to see two blue ones staring back. “It’s a puppy!” Johnny wiggled the fuzzball around. Richard took the baby pup from the raven haired man and cradled it, like a mother would do for her child. “What’s his name?” “Well, I named him after you!” Richard cooed into it’s face as he set it down. “You’re too good to me, toots.” Richard wrapped himself around Johnny and began swaying them romantically together. “I was thinkin’ you could give me a little somethin’ tonight, y’know..” Johnny played with Hell’s zipper. “What do you want?” Richard whispered while placing tender kisses against Johnny’s pale neck. “Your cock.” Johnny’s head began to buzz delightfully as Richard ground his crotch against his own. “Where do you want it?” Johnny rolled his eyes for what seems like the millionth time. “Fuck you.” He whimpered as he rested his head on top of Richard’s shoulder.