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Spaces Between Us(Dazai x Reader)

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Life in Yokohama was far from simple. At least for you it was. You often wondered why you couldn't just have a simplistic life, and yet at the same time you'd hate that life.

It wasn't like you were against being normal, you just preferred to be your own person.

And maybe sometimes you didn't always make the best choices. Making an extra effort to live dangerously.

You were used to the danger. You lived in a constant haze of fear in your own home.

A mom who always wanted you to be studying. She didn't like you having friends or a social life. She wanted you to have the best grades. When you dropped bellow her standards, she was abusive. Using both psychical and emotional abuse. Telling you you were pathetic or not good enough. Then beating you, leaving you bruised and broken.

Your dad? You had no idea who he was. Your mom told you he was dead. She would often say "He didn't care about you" or "He never wanted a child." Even going as far as saying "you're a mistake."

Bringing yourself out of your own dark thoughts, you focus on the path ahead. "School is going to be a pain today." you groaned.

"(Y/n-chan)!" Called an all to familiar voice.

Turning around you smiled as your white haired friend jogged to your side "Atsushi-kun, Good morning."

"Good morning (y/n-chan), did you sleep well?" Humming in response you think about how you were forced to work on a book of advanced mathematics for 2 hours before you could sleep. "It was okay."

"That's good, I'm worried about that pop quiz we have today in English class." You laugh, English was one of Atsushi's worst subject. "Don't worry about it to much."

"(y/n-chan...)" he says all glossy eyed. "Even if you fail you can just take the make up exam."

He nearly falls over "O-of course.." he sweat drops.

Talking about some other casual things, you look Atsushi over. He's still wearing those Finger less black gloves, that you've seen him in since the very first day you meet him. Despite his timid personality, you couldn't help but think they suited him. His eyes were a mixture of Purple and yellow, they were like jewels that sparkled in the moonlight. His white hair was styled so that one side was longer than the other.

"Woah, looks like there's more people around the front gate than usual." Atsushi says, you follow his eyes and blink. "Why are there so many people outside today?" As soon as you both get to the gate you try to maneuvers through the crowd.

"What the hell is going on?" you say grabbing a random student by the shoulder. She blinks at you before "Kyaaa!~ Haven't you heard? We're getting a new transfer student today!" She swoons back and forth "Rumor says he's really cute!"

"A transfer student?" you pause before a hand grabs you and pulls you through the crowd.

"Oi, Rabbit i been looking for you." You blink up at him before grinning widely "My dear mad hatter, what can i do for you?"

He smirks back at you. Chuuya Nakahara, A 2nd year with semi long orange hair and azure eyes, and of course his signature black hat, was the closest person in your life.

He knew almost everything about you, and you knew almost everything about him. He was like the brother you always wanted.

"Here take this, you left it at the warehouse a few nights ago." Chuuya hands you a brown and silver switchblade. "Oh my god, i been looking for this!" you say lazily unsheathing the blade swinging it around. A few students near you start panicking once they see the weapon creating lots of space between you and them.

"Rabbit, you are scaring the masses. Put it away before someone goes to get the principal."

"but the principal likes me."

"Not enough to not suspend your ass for carrying around a switchblade."

Huffing you put the blade in your skirt pocket. "Fine~" you whine.

Atsushi comes over hesitantly glancing at Chuuya. "I thought you said, you stopped bringing that to school." He frowns disapprovingly.

"I did!...I left it somewhere and Chuuya was just giving it back to me." You say gesturing To Chuuya.

He shrugs "Don't lump me in here, if you want to carry it around then do it." Chuuya eyes Atsushi "don't listen to your scardy cat friend."

Protest rises on Atsushi's lips but you're quick to cutt him off, "Mad Hatter, I already told you i prefer to not fight here. It was my choice to start leaving it either at home or in my bag."

Chuuya scoffs turning away "Fine, fine."

"I'd prefer it, if you didn't fight at all (y/n-chan), I don't want you to get hurt." He has that stern dad-like look in his eyes.

"You're really sweet Atsushi-kun." He blushes lightly.

"anyway.." You turn to Chuuya, "Mad hatter did you hear about a new transfer student?"

He shakes his head "Hell no, I could careless anyway."

You roll your eyes "As informative as ever Chuuya."

Your white haired friend snorts loudly earning a glare from Chuuya. "The only thing i've found out is its a guy." you hum looking at the crowd of giggling girls. You weren't that curious if you had to be honest. Although, admittedly maybe a new face is just what this school needed.

Someone comes over and lays there head on your shoulder "(Y/n) let me see your homework." Blinking down you recognize white tipped black hair. "Aku-chan, are you ever going to do your own homework?" you can barely hold back the smirk rising to your lips.

"Don't call me that." He raises his head covering his mouth as he lightly coughs into his palm.

"I"ll call you pretty princess if i want too." You raise an eyebrow before continuing "You want my homework or not?"

Anyone else would be dead. Akutagawa Ryunosuke was a first year just like you. He had several classes with you, and just like Chuuya was a member of the same gang. You, however, could press any buttons you wanted when it came to him and all he would do was glare at you with icy discontent.

Sighing loudly he held out his hand "Just give me your damn homework." Smirking triumphantly you dug through your school bag and handed him your homework. While he was coping your answers your attention was drawn back to the crowd of girls waiting for the rumored transfer student.

Your eyes spot one of the Office aids heading your way and you turn on your heels instantly. "Guys" you hiss "Hide me quick!"

Chuuya has no idea why your suddenly panicking but grabs you pushing you behind him. Akutagawa stands next to Chuuya fully blocking you from view. Even Atsushi places himself slightly in front of both Chuuya and Akutagawa.

"Where did (l/n-san) go?" The office aid questions with a frown.

Chuuya shrugs lazily "Beats me she was here a second ago."

She looks between all of your friends frowning deeply. "Akutagawa-kun, Where is (l/n-san)?" He doesn't respond. She takes a step back swallowing hard, when the glare he gives her is enough to send a shiver down her spine.

She looks to Atsushi smiling sweetly. "Nakajima-kun, I really need (l/n-san) to come to the office." She takes a step forward towards him "You would tell me where she is right?"

Atsushi looks like he's having an internal struggle but suddenly responds "If i see (y/n-chan) I'll tell her to go to the office." Silently cheering for your amazing friends, you can't help the grin forming on your face.

Suddenly she's scowling "Now see here you thr-"

"Oi, Bitch we said we haven't seen her, now get lost before i break something off." Chuuya seethes voice laced with venom taking a menacing step forward.

She instantly backs up "S-see that (l-l/n-san) comes t-to t-the office!" she forcefully yells before quickly pacing away.

You clap as your friends turn around seeing the grin plastered on your face. "Thanks guys, you are awesome."

Chuuya pats your head sighing "No problem Rabbit, What did you do though?"

"Nothing!" you protest with a pout. Then sigh "its probably because of this.." you pat your skirt pocket.

"I told you."

"I don't want to hear it."

"I told you so."

"What did i just say?"

Akutagawa shoves your homework in your face "Here I'm done coping your chicken scratch."

"What?! My hand writing is perfect!" you snatch your paper out of his hand shoving it back in your bag.

"perfectly illegible. It takes a trained eye to understand it." Akutagawa scoffs rolling his eyes.

You shove him playfully "So you've been coping my homework so long you can understand it, is what your saying?" He looks away with a shrug. Laughing you turn back to Atsushi. "thanks for not blabbing." You give him a smile. He returns your smile rubbing the back of his head. He looks a bit proud of himself.

"Well I think i should deal with the principal before class starts." Letting a sigh escape your lips you brush a hand through your hair. "Atsushi-kun I'll see you in class, Mad Hatter, Aku-kun See you at lunch." Quickly you bid them farewells sashaying away.

Navigating through the sea of your mostly female classmates you find your way to the door of the front office. You send most of the girls that blocked your path annoyed glares.

New student or not geezus you all need to go away.

Knocking on the door a few times you don't bother to wait for a response before walking in. "I told you girls to-' The women behind the office desk starts but stops upon seeing you. "(l/n-san), the principal is waiting for you." she gestures towards the familiar green and white door with a silver knob.

Humming you make your way to the door opening it. "Neko-sensei, you called for me?" You question innocently easing into his office.

"Ah,(y/n-san) there you are." Behind a large brown desk sat your schools principal. His name was Fukukawa Yukichi. You, however, had taken to calling him 'Neko-sensei' since you knew he had a rather strange infatuation with cats and was always trying to feed or pet them.

He didn't seem to mind. Although that never stopped other teachers or office staff from trying to get you to treat him with more respect.

If they had any idea who you were, they'd be able to tell you respected him probably the most out of all the people at this school. A certain quirky advanced history teacher aside.

Walking over to the front of his desk, your eyes swept over an unfamiliar face. Blinking you found yourself looking him up and down. He had short brown wavy hair that framed his face perfectly and bandages all over his body. His one brown eye you could see, looked at you curiously before giving you a smile.

Why does he have bandages over his right eye? Not to mention his entire body? He looks like he got tossed out a window.

Despite his bandaged features you had to admit he was rather handsome.

Shifting focus back to to your principal you cleared your throat. "You called for me?" you asked again.

"Yes, I did. As you can most likely tell we have a new student attending our school starting today." His gestures to the bandaged boy on your right. You glance at the him before looking back at the principal. "So..he's the new kid, whats that have to do with me?"

The principal stares hard at you for a few seconds. Other kids would instantly be spilling there guts beneath his harsh gaze.

Oh no though, not you.

You respected him enough to not give him any falsitudes. That meant you weren't going to be polite just cause you had too. He surprisingly treated you like a real person while obviously still a student.

"I heard about what happened this morning." He states calmly. Instantly you look away "I have no idea what you're talking about." You say with a shrug.

A small smirk forms on the new students face as he watches you.

Yukichi sighs before continuing "You are going to be the new students guide. I want you to help him find his way around school."

You blink a few times. "A guide?" you question hesitantly.

"Yes a guide, Our school is rather large and sometimes students get lost. More so if they are new and have never been here before."

Raising an eyebrow a few questions come to mind, "You don't even know if we have classes together?"

"That matters not, You are his guide." He sends you that end-of-discussion look. "Introduce yourselves."

Turning around you sigh lightly before introducing yourself. "My name is (L/n, F/n), First year. Guess I'm going to be your guide today."

The new guy stands offering his hand "Its nice to meet you (f/n-san)." You shake his hand lightly, oddly not put off at all by the fact he's already calling you by your first name.

"I'm Dazai"

"Dazai Osamu, 2nd year."


Ah~ I'm very oddly proud of this.

I got obsessed with the idea of a Dazai x reader High school Au. we are!

Chapter Text

I'd like to apologize in advance for this very long chapter. But i could not get all i wanted to say done in a short amount of words.

Please enjoy a school day full of Dazai~


Upon finding out that Dazai wasn't even a first year, you tried your best to convince Neko-sensei you weren't the right choice.

The principle was quick to shoot down every protest you had.

Not a first year? He knew you had a few advanced classes that mingled both first and second year students.

You had no clubs so you couldn't say you were busy.

and "I don't want too" just didn't fly.

Sighing heavily as you and Dazai exit the main office. You frown, the principle really knew how to inconvenience you, but do it in way that you couldn't really be mad about.

"Do you really hate me that much already?" Dazai's soft voice questions. You blink before quickly frowning "No, how could i hate someone i don't even know?" His face turns to look at you, "Why so reluctant to be my guide then?"

You return his gaze but don't answer. His eyes seem to be analyzing you. He has a smile on his face but you can't help but think there's something more behind it.

Holding out your hand "Let me see your schedule." he hands it to you and you look at the room he needs to go to for his first period.

"Your first class is up the stairs on the second floor." You start walking "Follow me Dazai-kun."

He steps in tune next to you, "Don't you mean Dazai-senpai?" You turn to see a smirk on his face as his hands loosely fit into his pockets. You quirk an eyebrow at him "You maybe my senpai but you're not MY senpai." you say with a small shrug.

"Ah, a distinction without distinction." he hums lightly "I'm not worthy to be called senpai in your eyes."

Smiling lightly you shrug once again "I just don't think I should call you senpai without knowing your deserve to be called as such."

You weren't really trying to be rude or anything. Simply didn't believe in platitudes, of being nice just to be nice. Of course there were times were you did respond with the appropriate amount of politeness. However, at school, with other students it was a case by case decision

Looking at Dazai out of the corner of your eye, you still weren't sure about him.

Both of you made it up the stairs, down several halls, and turned right one last time before you walked to the door of Dazai's first class. "Holy shit, Neko-sensei wasn't kidding." You huff lightly slightly out of breath from briskly walking this far.

Dazai gazes at you with a fairly amused look "why do you call the principle neko-sensei?" You smile fondly as the memories of actually making someone you thought was going to be your worst enemy, a confidant comes to mind.

"He likes cats." You state rather simply.

"Ah, but there's more to the story, i can see it in your eyes." Dazai leans against the wall eyeing you "Why are you content with keeping people at arms length?"

You tilt your head to the side at the sudden question. Unsure of how to respond. "I..Need to get to class." is the only thing that seems to come to your lips. For some reason you didn't want to lie, or skim over the truth. Dazai's eyes were piercing and it felt like you simply needed to get away from them.

"Okay then, are you going to meet me after class to show me to my next one?" he questions leaning off the wall. You hum glancing back at the paper that was still in your hand. "Your next class is pretty close right back around the previous corner, second door on the right i believe."

Glancing at his 3rd class you smile. "hmm, it seems we do have a class together after all." Dazai leans over to look down at the paper. "Advanced mathematics, So my kouhai is pretty smart."

You snort "I can math circles around your bandaged ass." you say smugly crossing your arms. Dazai grins "Beautiful and smart, a rather potent combo." He chuckles when your face dusts with a slight pink. "D-don't think flirting with me is going to get you anywhere." you say turning away.

"I wasn't flirting, just simply stating facts." You turn back to look at his face. His one eye you have a clear view of looks you up and down. Blushing you can't help but feel slightly self conscious.

Is he checking me out?

"Don't you have a class to get too?" he says raising an eyebrow.

"Thats right...Class started.." you pull out your phone "Just a few mins ago." you sigh grateful hoping you wouldn't be to late for the pop quiz. You weren't worried about it, but wanted to be there for Atsushi to provide moral support.

"I'll meet you at the stairs we walked up to get to the 2nd floor, our class together is going to be on the opposite side to this one."

"See you then, kouhai-chan." he smirks before turning to open the door. Quickly peacing out before the teacher can see you, you speed walk back down to the first floor.

Bursting through the door to your class you pant out "sorry i'm late, this stray dog needed my help." The entire class bursts into laughter while the teacher gives you a very disapproving look."Just take your seat (l/n-san), you're lucky the quiz hasn't started yet."

Smiling you walk over to your seat, which was in front of Atsushi. "Why were you really late?" He whispers through a grin. "I'll tell you after class." you murmur quietly. The teacher starts to hand out the quiz telling everyone they have 30mins to finish. "Good luck Atsushi-kun" you quickly whisper. He gives you a thumbs up before both of you start on your papers The quiz being fairly simple and straightforward, you're one of the first to finish. After handing in your paper to the teacher you glance at Atsushi's paper before sitting down. He was almost done. You smile, you had been worried and unsure if he would be that far along. Couple of minutes later he gets up turns his paper in and high fives you as he passes by. This earns a look from your teacher but she was more than used to both of your antics.

The rest of first period goes by pretty quickly and as soon as its over Atsushi and you walk to your next classes. "So why were you really later?"

"Neko-sensei wanted me to be the new students guide." you hum mildly amused "At least you weren't in trouble." He lets out a sigh of relief.

"well he knew about my switchblade, so this is just like..compensation, do this or get suspended." or in your case, you thought he wouldn't suspend you but lecture you endlessly.

Atsushi laughs shacking his head "I'm glad Neko-sensei, is understanding." Smiling you bid him goodbye as he walks into his next class. You walk further down the hall and around the corner breezing into your own next class.

You spot Akutagawa laying with his head smack down on his desk. Stiffing a chuckle you walk over and poke his cheek. "No sleeping in class Aku-kun." he lazily swats your hand away. "(y/n), you seem unscathed." He lifts his head up to prop his elbow on the desk leaning into his palm.

"I would say that i have Neko-sensei in the palm of my hand but that would be a lie." You thoughtfully stroke a hand through your tresses "he gave me a job of sorts, I'm to be the new students guide around school."

Akutagawa grunts "More like he has you in the palm of his hands" You shrug, you knew Akutagawa had a thing with anyone in authority. Never wanting to listen or follow rules, not to mention never follow instructions he had his own way of doing things.

"Take your seats everyone class is about to start." Says your teacher walking in placing her various books and paperwork on the desk.

"Don't fall asleep, Aku-kun." You tease with a grin walking passed him to your seat. He only huffed, and you knew he was now more than likely to sleep in class.

Class was boring, and you couldn't help but let your thoughts wonder back to Dazai. His piercing eyes, or really his piercing eye. Was there something wrong with his other eye? What about the bandages around his body, was he hurt badly?

Earlier you compared his injuries to being thrown out of a window but it was rather unlikely. Maybe he got into a fight at his old school and that's why he transferred?

Class was over in the blink of an eye. Packing up your books, you started for the door. Akutagawa stopped you just for a moment telling you he needed your notes for this class later. "Aku-chan~ you really did fall asleep again, and here you are asking for more of my work~."

He mumbles something as he walks by but you just grin and quickly make your way up the stairs to the 2nd floor.

Dazai's waiting for you leaning against the wall above the stairs. Some girls come over and crowd him, they spam him with all sorts of questions.

'where are you from?'

'Whats your name?'

'Do you have a girlfriend?'

'Do you need help finding your next class?'

The questions ramble on and on until Dazai smiles. He's not smiling at them though, he's smiling past them. He pushes past them and strides over to you, "(y/n)-san, there you are." Taken a back by his smile you turn to the side "Seems you made some new friends."

He doesn't even look back at them, but they are clearly sending you glares. "Friends? There just some annoying girls." They all squeal greatly offended before walking away.

Dazai's bored expression makes you tilt your head curiously. "That been happening to you all day?" you ask.

"You have no idea." he sighs. "I suppose we should get to our next class then." you say moving to Dazai's side before starting to walk to the left.

He follows by your side. You watch him out of the corner of your eye. Those bandages really make you curious. You really want to ask but its probably something personal. You barely knew him, and like he asked before there might of been hints you didn't really want to be friends.

You didn't want anyone to get close. Besides those you already knew.

Dazai turns and catches your eye as it looks up, suddenly he grabs your wrist pulling both of you into an empty classroom. You yelp in surprise but before you can retort his body leans over you.

Suddenly your heart thumps.

"You been staring at my bandages since we meet.." You open your mouth to say something but he presses a finger to your lips "Its natural to be curious Kouhai-chan..but you know curiosity killed the cat." His eye seems to have a dark haze to it.

After he moves his finger away from your lips it slowly goes up your cheek before stroking through your hair. Your hearts beating wildly but you can't pull away.

Something about the look in his eyes is alluring. Managing to stabilize your erratic heart beat you slowly respond "I am curious about them.." you place a hand on his bandaged wrist "I would of never asked though.." Looking up to his eyes, you find them dark and listless.

"I think you've been wearing these bandages a long time, like they're apart of your skin." you pause briefly "whats it like to wear them all the time?"

Suddenly Dazai is unwrapping some of his bandages from his wrist, your heart flips at the thought of seeing something you shouldn't.

He grabs your wrist and ties the loose bandage around it. You almost shiver at the icy touch of his fingers on your skin. "Wear this the rest of today." When he pulls back his eyes are back to a normal soft brown.

Flipping your hand back and forth, you run the fingers of your other hand along the bandage. "You can't take it off." He smirks when you raise a questioning brow. "If you take it off..." he runs a hand through your hair pushing a loose strand behind your ear, "I'll just have to wrap another bandage somewhere else.."

Red comes over your cheeks like a harsh slap to the face. Dazai doesn't even wait for your response as he strolls outside the classroom, you trail behind him. You blink several times when Dazai effortlessly finds his way to both of your next classroom.

This...asshole...he already knew how to get here?

He opens the door and gestures for you to go in first "Kouhai-chan's first." You hum before pushing him in first surprising him "I believe its ladies first." A soft low giggle slip passed your lips, before walking to your seat.

Dazai comes over and sits his ass directly on top of your desk. "Hey this is not a chair."

"Oh? Its not?" a playful grin forms on his face.

You hum in thought "I can see why you might not be able to tell." you place a hand over your eye before putting them back on your desk.

Taking a chance here. You don't know if he's gonna be offended or upset. The moment earlier aside it seemed like his bandages were etched on his skin in secrets.

He doesn't even bat an eye at your indication, "Hmm, even with my lack of depth perception i can see you stroking the bandage on your arm." Your fingers action stop almost immediately, "You like it that much?"

The blush rising to your cheeks is hard to control, "i-its just aware of it i am.." You look away from him hoping he will drop it for now.

Dazai watches you. He'd be lying if he said you didn't interest him. Since the first meeting where you walked into the principles office with a certain air about you. He enjoys trying to figure you out.

"All you brats take your seats, and get out your homework." Says your very annoyed sounding math teacher.

He looks up noticing everyone but dazai has taken there proper seats. He raises an eyebrow at you as you lean around to see his face. "Who is that sitting on your desk (l/n)-san?" he says pushing up his glasses.

Standing you push Dazai off your desk "This is Dazai Osamu, he's the new transfer student, Kunikida-sensei."

"Ah, I've heard about him from some of the other teachers." He looks to Dazai, "A desk is not a chair."

"(y/n)-san said i could sit there before class started." Dazai says with an innocent smile. Your mouth drops open as you send the back of his head death glares. "I restate a desk is not a chair."

Your teacher sighs pushing his glasses up once again "Since it seems (L/n)-san and Dazai are friends I'd like to ask a student around her to give up there desk."

You smile Kunkida Doppo was a very harsh teacher, but he was also kind and caring through his very stubborn ideals.

Not a single student volunteers though, You glace around at your classmates with a mixture of contempt and disapproval.

Dazai abruptly turns around pushing you into your chair gently as he walks by and leans into the student sitting behind your desk. You can't hear what he's saying but suddenly the student stands up and says "Sensei he can have my desk." the student doesn't even wait for a response as he grabs his things and moves to an other wise empty desk.

You blink at Dazai as he calmly takes a seat at his new desk. You turn back around to see Kunikida sigh lightly "Now that that's taken care of pass your homework forward, Dazai is exempt for today only."

Everyone proceeds to pass there homework forward, soon after Kunikida starts talking about todays lesson your mind draws back to dazai. You were clearly disappointed earlier when you thought he might not be able to sit by you.

You frown shacking your head lightly. No, come on (y/n). We can't get close. Just because he's a little bit handsome.. Pink comes over your cheeks as you stare down at the bandage.

Suddenly something twirls a piece of your hair and when you turn slightly the same hand grazes against your neck. Your heart thumps slightly at the contact "What are you doing?" You hiss in a whisper at Dazai.

"Nothing" He responds calmly. Again his hand brushes against your neck, sending a chill down your spine. Glancing hastily back towards the front of the class room, you make sure kunikida-sensei isn't paying attention before swatting his hand away.

You can't see the smirk on Dazai's face, your flustered reaction more than pleasing to him.

"(L/n)-san, Come solve the problem on the board." Kunikida-sensei calls. Even though you were distracted and maybe your teacher knew that, you took a look at the current problem got up and solved it perfectly. "Excellent job as always (L/n)-san." Kunikida smiles at you gently.

He was definitely one of those teachers who loved when his students could effectively use the skills he taught them. Skills in math was one of your strong suits, you liked the way he taught his class. He always appeared to be annoyed by his students, but you knew he simply had his own way of caring

A thought crosses your mind as you try to hold back a grin, "Kunikida-sensei, I'm sure Dazai-kun would be more than happy to try and solve the next problem."

Kunikida raises an eyebrow before looking at Dazai. "Dazai-kun, You haven't been in my class before but solving the next problem would be a great way to see were your current math level is at." Kunikida motions for dazai to come to the board "If you can't solve it i'm sure (l/n)-san will be more than happy to help."

Dazai walks to the board, looks the problem up and down. Glances at you, and then effortlessly solves the equation. You blink at the problem and the way his hands had skillfully formed the answers. You turn to Kunikida, his mouth opens and he walks over to the question looking it up and down furiously.

"Perfect." He says voice laced with disbelief.

Dazai smiles at you before walking back to his seat. Kunikida tells you to go back to your seat as well. You glide over to your chair stealing a furtive glance at Dazai. He's smiling rather smugly.

Kunkida calls on the next student to solve a problem. You try to pay attention, as your classmate goes to the board.

However, a certain bandaged student leans over your shoulder and up to your ear and whispers "Nice try Kouhai-chan." His warm breath tickles your ear, you squeeze your hands together trying to not focus on the tingling sensation your body is feeling.

You lean back slightly to see his face, "I didn't do anything." you smile slyly. Dazai hums before blowing into your ear making you jump up instantly with a loud squeak.

The entire class stares at you. Some with raised eyebrows some snort trying to hide there laughter. You blush fiercely, as you turn to glare at dazai, only to have Kunikida-sensei ask you "(L/n)-san, take your seat."

Apologizing for the interruption, you sit down. You can basically taste the smirk on Dazai's face without even turning around.

Class ends soon after and your quick to pack up and make your way down the hall. Just as your foot is about to take the first step down the stairs, a hand grabs a hold of your wrist stopping you.

Turning your see Dazai, "Kouhai-chan, whats the rush?" he asks with a curious head tilt.

You blush at the contact, trying to not be embarrassed about what happened earlier. "Just trying to get to my next class." you say swaying slightly appearing impatient.

Dazai frowns lightly before letting go of your wrist. "I'd hate to keep you then kouhai-chan." Catching his sad tone you instantly feel a twinge of regret.

Dazai turns around and starts to walk away, suddenly you cup your hand around your mouth and yell "Meet me on the roof during lunch!"

Several student including Dazai turn around giving you weird stares. Dazai smirks before giving you a thumps up, you smile at him before turning on your tail and gliding down the stairs.

4th period is another class with Akutagawa, he again appears very sleep deprived and sleeps through class. You had to admit during this class you weren't paying attention all that much either.

Dazai's touches were on your mind. From holding your wrist to put the bandage around it, to brushing his hand gently through your hair, and even to the embarrassing moment were he blew into your ear.

He enjoyed teasing you and seeing your red, embarrassed face.

You'd only known this boy for a few hours but it wasn't like you hated being around him.

Yet everything you knew about yourself told you to keep him at a distance.

Sighing loudly, the bell dismissing 4th period sounds. You stroll to Akutagawa's desk seeing him clearly asleep, head resting against his arm. Dropping your book down hard on his desk, his head shoots up and just as you expected pushes a knife against your throat.

Luckily you'd waited till everyone had filed out of class before giving Akutagawa his wake up call. He eyes you before pulling the knife away and putting it back in his pocket. "Shit, (y/n) You know i hate being woken up like that."

"Thats why i still do it." You laugh when he sends you a glare. "I keep telling you to stop sleeping in class Aku-kun." You hum lightly as you both walk out of the class room. "And I keep telling you, these stupid classes aren't worth my time."

"I think your grades would beg to differ."

"My grades are fine."

"That's cause you copy my homework, its a miracle you pass your other classes."

He quickly out passes you as he steps up the stairs to head towards the roof. You giggle and let him hurry on ahead. You turn around and scan the hallways for Dazai. You believe his next class was several halls away, so it might take him a few mins to get here.

Leaning against a wall you close your eyes. Today had been interesting and typical all in the same sentence. In some ways it was normal, but Dazai was an unknown variable and he made it new. You wondered how your friends would react to Dazai. Maybe Chuuya had a class with him? Questions you'd certainly ask you beloved mad hatter later.


Snapping your eyes open you see a very flustered Atsushi running at full speed down the stairs and when he gets to you he topples over panting heavily. Blinking curiously you pat his back trying to get him to calm down. "Whats wrong Atsushi-kun?"

"i-its...Nakahara-kun...h-he's..f-fighting on t-the r-roof!" He pants out.

"What?!" you yell automatically heading straight for the roof. Taking the stairs 2 at a time nearly falling several times but not caring at all. Atsushi following behind as best as he can but he was already insanely out of breath from running to get you.

Bursting through the door to the roof, it takes you but a moment to locate Chuuya. Atsushi was right he was fighting with someone. The bandages, the brown hair...

It was Dazai.

"What the fuck is going on?!" You yell stomping over to both Chuuya and Dazai.

They both are panting lightly, Dazai's hands are in his pockets, and Chuuya's knife is drawn it has a piece of clothing on the edge of its blade.

"Rabbit, this waste of bandages has been pissing me off all day." Chuuya says eyes gleaming hatefully at Dazai.

Dazai raises an eyebrow at your nickname but responds calmly to chuuyas remark with "(y/n)-san, I didn't do anything. You friend is rather dangerous can you tell him to put away his blade please?"

Looking between both Chuuya and Dazai you sigh heavily. "Mad Hatter, Please. Not here."

He continues a spiteful glare at Dazai, until you come over and rest your head against his shoulder. "Mad Hatter, I don't want you to get suspended." He looks down at you for a second before putting away his blade. "Fine, Rabbit."

"Can't promise I wont stab his other eye later though." You grin leaning off of him, "Thats fine by me."

Dazai feints being hurt by crossing his hands over his heart "(y/n)-san thats mean you're not going to protect me?"

"Not when we're not at school." you laugh when he just raises an eyebrow. "Anyway, Dazai-kun what did you do to my beloved mad hatter?" Chuuya shoots Dazai a smirk before resting his head on top of yours. You smile at him before looking back to Dazai.

With a light shrug he turns to hide his growing smirk "I may have made fun of his height once."

"MORE LIKE 8 TIMES!" Chuuya screams making you immediately flinch away from him. "Dammit mad hatter, not in my fucking ear." you grumble rubbing your ear. "Sorry." he mumbles.

Chuuya starts for the door "I'm going to get a drink, I"ll bring you back something Rabbit." Thanking him before he's completely through the door, you turn back to Dazai. "What else did you do to him?"

"Who says i did something else?" Dazai questions with a smile.

"My mad hatter, has a tempter but wouldn't explode here unless heavily provoked."

Dazai's eye meets your eyes. He hums in thought. Momentarily wondering if he should go with the truth or not bother to answer you at all. Deciding Chuuya would more than likely tell you the truth later, he decides to beat him to it.

"I may have...Said his hat was-"

"I see." you interrupt nodding. "Never make fun of the hat, I might kick your ass too."

Dazai grins grabbing your hand and thrusting you towards him, your hands land on his chest face flushing a bright pink. "w-what are you doing?" you stutter trying to create some space between the both of you.

"I think i can take you, kouhai-chan." The confident smirk on his face accompanied with the closeness of him, both make your heart race increase ten fold.

"Do you two need a room?" Akutagawa says coughing calmly into his palm.

Realization hitting you like a brick, you dislodge yourself from Dazai and turn around quickly. "Aku-kun, don't be ridiculous."

Chuuya comes back a few mins later throwing you a a cold can of milk from the vending machine. Grateful for his return you begin introducing Dazai to your small collection of friends.

Gesturing to each you introduce "Nakajima Atsushi, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Tanizaki Jun'ichiro And Naomi, and last of all my mad Hatter." you grin at him "Nakahara Chuuya"

"Nice to meet you all, except the short one." Dazai dodges a punch as chuuya thrust his fist upward. You, however, push your leg behind dazai as he dodges and he easily trips over your leg falling on his ass.

"I can be only so nice." you hum, pushing Chuuya playfully as he snickers at Dazai.

Dazai pouts rubbing his bruised bum. "So mean, short people are." again you kick at him but Dazai pulls away rolling till he jumps up. You huff "I'm not short!" Dazai chuckles before coming over to pat your head "Its okay Kouhai-chan, being short is cute on you."

You blush at Dazai, looking at him with wide eyes and a fast beating heart. His face holds a charming smile as his fingers gently pet your head. Looking into his eyes you start to feel lost in those coffee colored orbs. They were capable of such depth and you'd even witnessed a more dull hazy color to them. Yet even when they were listless they were still very alluring.

Chuuya slaps Dazai's hand away from your head. "Stop flirting with my Rabbit." Your favorite hat wearing friend is glaring daggers into Dazai. Again your heart race at Chuuya's insinuation. You look at Dazai waiting for him to deny Chuuya's accusation. He seems to be thinking and you expect him to say something to tease Chuuya or you.

Instead he surprises you even more by asking a simple question. "Whats wrong with flirting with her?" Its such a simple question, but the insinuated meaning makes you face burn with a heavy blush.

A sneer comes over Chuuya's face as he pulls you away and pushes you behind him. "Just don't."

"Are you two dating?" Dazai inquires.

Both you and Chuuya scrunch up your faces and make the 'ew' face.

A breathy chuckle leaves dazais parted lips. "(y/n), Is beautiful and single, you can't tell me not to flirt with her."

Naomi starts squealing uncontrollably and in great volume her brother junichiro trying to calm her down. Chuuya's quick to issue any number of threats to leave you alone. Akutagawa pulls out his knife and advances on Dazai "Leave (y/n) alone or else."

"Or else what? You'll fail miserably to ever hit me with that." Noticing a familiar haze to Dazai's once gleaming eyes you know you need to stop this situation before something terrible happens.

Grabbing Akutagawa's shoulder he turns around to look at you. "Aku-kun, We don't need to start a war at school." He turns back around forcefully pulling away from you before slashing at Dazai several times. Dazai is rather calm as he dodges every single attack. Hands in his pockets, as he bobs and weaves; easily not putting any effort in what so ever yet dominating the fight.

You frown heavily at this scene. You've of course seen worse, done worse, but still..You didn't hate Dazai...didn't want him to get hurt.

Chuuya notices you heavy sigh and contorted in worry face. "Akutagawa, Stop this isn't what (y/n) wants." Akutagawa stops momentarily looking back at you, noticing your frown. He grunts before putting away his knife and leaving the rooftop.

You lean your head on the top of Chuuya's left shoulder slowly pushing a hand over his other shoulder in a comfortable lazy lean. "Mad hatter, you are my protecting big brother." you lean up to his ear and whisper the next part "But Dazai-kun is okay he hasn't done anything to hurt me."

Chuuya turns to hug you lightly, telling you to be careful before he walks down the stairs. Your other friends disperse as well, sensing to leave you alone with Dazai, to deal with the situation. Naomi even nudges you with a grin telling you to go for it before you kick at her shooing her away. Atsushi asks if you want him to stay and you politely decline telling him you'll see him later in class.

"(y/n)-san, you have a lot of caring friends but they are dangerous and carry knives." He steps behind you as you turn around to face him "I sense you know how dangerous they are more than anyone.'

"What if i'm dangerous too?" you question looking into his eyes calmly.

"Oh, i know you're dangerous." He puts a hand on your hip as he presses the cold blade of your own switchblade against your neck. Your eyes don't even show fear, as you smile. "Why are you smiling?" You just shack your head "Cause i know you don't mean any harm. Or perhaps its because i can tell that the back of the blade is pressed against my neck not the front."

Dazai grins before pulling the blade away. "I knew i'd like this school."

"Because you've meet a lot of crazy gangster like people who carry knives and switchblades?" You snort, rolling your eyes.

"Because there's a beautiful girl here." Your heart flutters as his hand cups your chin before bending down to kiss your cheek gently.

When he pulls back he smiles at you as he walks by towards the door. It takes you a moment to recover but you quickly follow behind him. "When did you steal my switchblade?" You ask furrowing a curious brow.

"Hmm, right before i put that bandage on your hand." He hums in thought watching your pink face mumble something like 'oh'. "Can i have it back?" you reach for the hand that has your knife in it but he pulls it away. "Nah"

You huff impatiently, but he responds before you can get angrier "I'll give it back to you after school." Sighing with disdain, but accepting his terms nonetheless you tell him goodbye as you head back down to the first floor.

The next few periods go by in a mixed blur. School was always boring but today you were especially disinterested. Thinking about Dazai or how your friends had tried to skewer him. Most of your thought lead to a tingling feeling in your stomach.

Is this what it feels like to have a crush?

He certainly seemed interested. Calling you cute and beautiful, and liking to tease and touch you. Your mind was beginning to get hazy, with a sense of longing.

Longing to be around Dazai more.

Just as if the universe was answering your prayers the moment you walked through the doors of your last period, which was another class mixed with first and second years there sat in the back row next to the window, Dazai.

Smiling you walk over to Dazai's desk and plant your butt on it letting your legs hang loosely off the side. Dazai grins at you and chuckles out "Hey, thats not a chair."

"Oh? Its not?" you chuckle back in response. Oh how it seemed like you both had your own language together. Like when you were together you had your own world. As you sit there talking to him casually telling him about this class, you admire his eyes, his soft voice, and even the way his hands were covered in bandages.

He just seemed perfectly imperfect.

Dazai lays his head on your lap suddenly and you blush but blink at him curiously. "Feeling tired?" you laugh. "Not really, but your lap looked warm." you take a slow breath trying to still your rapidly beating heart.

"Class I hope you all came prepared for Today's lesson." Walks in your teacher, a lollipop hanging loosely in his mouth. He immediately starts writing some things on the board. Dazai looks to you expecting you to get up and go to your seat but you stay with a smirk on your face.

"(y/n)-san, I take it thats Dazai-kun sitting behind you?" your teacher questions.

Grinning you nod "Yes, Ranpo-sensei, as I'm sure you're aware he is the new transfer student."

"Yes (y/n)-san I'm quite aware, make sure he can see the board." Is all he says before he calmly turns around and continues to write about today's lesson.

Pulling out your journal and a pen you swish your legs to the side and lean back a little till your back touches the window next to the desk. You smile down at Dazai as you rest the pen against your journal preparing to take notes. Dazai took out his journal too and first he put the book in the space you'd created while moving closer to the window, but then he grins and places the book in your lap as he calmly starts taking notes.

At first you are confused and thought he was trying to embarrass you, and that may very well still be the case but the notes you saw him taking were real. The both of you would steal glances at each other, giving each other muffled laughter as you tried to embarrass the other.

Ranpo-sensei was more than aware of both of your antics and he responded accordingly. He would help both of you embarrass one another. Calling on one of you every so often whether you were paying attention or not. You rejoiced in the fact that there wasn't a single thing in Ranpo-sensei's class that you could get away with.

By time class was over you and Dazai couldn't stop snickering at each other. You walked over to Ranpo's desk and bowed. "Thank you Ranpo-sensei, class was fun as always." you grin widely. He smiles at you before blinking at Dazai, his eyes fully open to show piercing green eyes "I hope (Y/n)-sans switchblade is returned to her, so she can stop bringing it to school."

Dazai's eyes flicker suspiciously but you smile at him to show its okay, "I'm sorry Sensei, I didn't mean to bring it today but circumstances lead me to caring it around again." He nods before smiling offering you one of his lollipops from his pocket, you take it thanking him as he swiftly walks out the classroom.

"Friends with a teacher? You even call him by his first name." He softly laughs. "He's very perceptive, no wonder there wasn't a single thing we could get away with." He looks just like you imagine yourself to look in regards to Ranpo-sensei.

Glad someone calls you out on your bullshit.

"Yep he's my favorite teacher." You smile fondly.

You hum looking down at the bandage and start to take it off. "It was interesting wearing this all day."

"Why are you taking it off?"

"Because schools over"

Dazai grabs a hold of you his eyes glazing over with a smirk that sends a chill down your spine. "I said the rest of the day, not till schools over."

You start to protest but Dazai takes the bandage from you hands, and for a moment you think its okay till he bends down lifting your skirt just ever so slightly, causing the deepest of reds to adorn your face. "d-dazai-kun w-what are y-you doing?" You stutter out completely flustered.

His slightly calloused hands gently wrap the bandage around your thigh, just above your knee. "Putting the bandage somewhere else just as promised, if you decided to take it off prematurely." Just before he pulls back he decides now is the perfect time to give your knee a slow sensual kiss.

"d-dazai.." feeling completely and utterly light headed as Dazai pulls away and stands back up.

"Now, dear kouhai-chan i expect you to come to school wearing that bandage exactly wear i left it."

Nodding slowly you watch as Dazai starts for the door.

"Shall I walk you home?"



PLease kiSs MY knEe

aND otHer AreAs

SpeCielLY ThoSE oThER aREas

Chapter Text

I'm totally not neglecting my Saeyoung story...

I'm just...gah....all about Dazai at the moment!

This is super fluffy! Like eating a cloud fluffy. So enjoy <3


Even though you said no. Even though you tried walking out of school on your own. Even though you told him to stop following you.

He didn't listen.

Dazai followed you around like a lost puppy.

"Stop following me!" you groaned as you picked up your pace.

"I'm walking you home though." He said calmly as he matched your pace easily, hands loosely behind his fluffy hair.

You just groaned again in annoyance. Dazai was for lack of better words really single minded. Once he had an idea or thought he wanted to carry out it felt like there was nothing you could do to stop him.

Stopping momentarily to look at him, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear. What if my mom see's him? What if He see's my mom? Either way i don't like the sound of either of those possibilities.

Dazai smiles at you, feeling a pink tint dust your cheeks as you admire his features you turn away.

Ugh why are you so cute? Stop looking at me.

Dazai wraps his hands around your waist and leans over your shoulder "Whats wrong Kouhai-chan?" instantly your heart thumps.

"What are you doing..?" the question leaves your lips in a whisper.

"Nothing." He says leaning down giving the space behind your ear a small kiss. Your breath hitches, as your limbs become weak falling to your side.

You start to wonder why you have no desire to pull away. Why being in Dazai's grasp feels right. Why is he so adamant about showing me affection? We're not even dating. We just meet.

"why.." is the only word that leaves your lips. As you turn your head away not being able to look him in the eye or even in the direction of his face.

Again lips graze against your skin, the area of your neck that you've exposed to him after turning away. Small murmurs leave your lips at the sensation.

"S-stop...k-kissing me.." you finally have the strength to pull away "It makes me feel weird.."

You still can't look at him as you start walking again but you don't get very far as he grabs a hold of your hand and pulls you back to him. He puts both of his hands on your cheeks and looks deep into your eyes.

"I Like you Kouhai-chan."

Your eyes widen as your lips quiver. "w-what?" he can't mean it.

He chuckles leaning his forehead against yours. "I Said I like you. I want you to be mine. Can i kiss you?"

A blossom of red erupts all over your face. On instinct you try to pull back but he holds you tight. No intention of letting you go. Looking at his face, the smile on it looks true enough.

"We just meet today, how can you say you like me?"

"Haven't you heard of love at first sight?"

His hand caresses your cheek before petting through your hair, and all you can do is stare with a flushed face and an excruciatingly fast beating heart.

"Do you like me?" Caught off by his sudden question you can't help but look away and mumble "I..Like being around you.."

"Then be my girl friend." Its such a straightforward declaration. No matter how easy it is to understand the statement, your mind blanks as if you've forgotten how to speak.

"You don't look like you believe me, but I'll prove it." Dazai pulls away and takes your hand as he leads you down the street and into a park.

Glancing around the park is beautiful, Sakura blossom tree's adorn the walk way with benches placed here and there, and a beautiful water fountain in the middle. It was a calm and relaxing place, at least it was till Dazai sits down around the fountain and pulls you into his lap.

"H-how does this prove anything?" You stutter out putting an arm on his shoulder to steady yourself.

"Your friend the one with white hair, Atsushi-kun i believe, He told me you liked this park." He puts his hand around your back and one on your stomach. "It seems like the perfect place for a romantic confession, don't you think?"

Did Atsushi-kun really tell him? It was true you'd talked about the park with the water fountain in the middle. You for some reason had some strange obsession with water fountains. Whether you just liked to watch the water flow, or the thought of treating them all like wishing fountains, because you heart truly believed one of your wishes might come true.

A soft smile forms on your lips as you lay your head on Dazai's shoulder "you already confessed though." Might as well as embrace this moment, you don't know where its going but might as well let it play out.

"Ah, but I didn't confess everything." He corrects.

You wait for him to continue. Maybe what he says next will help you decide if this is a good thing or not. If his confession is true, and if you can accept his feelings along with your own that for the moment you can only describe as 'being fond of dazai'.

Simply put you believed you had a crush.

"I already knew who you were before you walked into the principles office." Your head instantly lifting you look into his eyes full of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I know your a member of a gang called the Port Mafia." You frown looking away, but his soft fingers grab a hold of your chin and turn you back to him.

"I used to be a member of the Port Mafia as well." Dazai watches as you eyes widen before your brows furrow together. "I've never seen you?"

"I left the Mafia 2 years ago, and I know you joined a few months after i left." You nod, it was true you did join about 2 years ago. Then it hits you, Aku and your beloved mad hatter have been in the mafia for a long time. There is no way they didn't know him.

"I see realization in your eyes, but you shouldn't be hard on them." He brushes a thumb over your bottom lip, "They both really hated me a lot, specially Chuuya." you let out a shaky breath, Dazai was making you feel all sorts of emotions.

Attraction, want, desire, mixed with confusion and small hint of betrayal but had they really lied to you? Chuuya and Aku never hid how much they hated Dazai, even though it seemed he clearly provoked both of them. Plus you didn't really need to know. It wasn't like Dazai seemed to want to harm you, or use the fact you were in the port mafia against you.

"They should of told me.." Dazai softly presses his lips to your forehead. "Well I'm telling you, cause i want you to understand..that I've liked you for quite some time."

"I'm sure i would've remembered meeting someone like you."

"We meet for the first time today, but i've been keeping up with the port mafia even after i left. New members and old members."

"I heard about a girl in the port mafia who was ruthless, intellectual, and capable of solving any problem thrown at her."

You blush, was he really talking about you?

"I really wanted to meet this girl, i've heard the stories about you and.." he tilts your chin up his lips are so close, you can feel his warm breath against your skin. "I've been in love with your legend."

"You are different then how I imagined." Your heart sinks just a little bit, was he going to say you weren't what he thought you'd be? Will he no longer be in love with you cause your legend as he put it is a much darker version of you, then the one you show at school?

"and i still couldn't be more in love with you."


"Of course, Can i kiss you?"

He inches closer, your brain struggles to relay messages to the rest of your body as your mouth opens but doesn't utter a single word.


Dazai starts counting suddenly.


Before you can figure out what the numbers mean he breathlessly whispers "1" before his lips are pressed against yours. Suddenly you feel this overwhelming sense of clarity. Wrapping your arms around dazai's neck you instantly melt into the kiss. His hands stroke through your hair before resting on the back of your head.

When you both pull back, you instantly miss the warmth of his lips as you stare into his eyes a soft smile on his face. You smile back, although you're still pretty sure your face is as red as a tomato.

"I think I love you." you whisper, leaning your head against his like he had done to you before.

"I hope so, I would hate for you to say 'i never want to see you again'." his lips graze against yours again "Other wise i'd have to kiss you till you changed your mind." The grin on his face is enough to send excited chills down your spine.

The longer your stare into Dazai's warm hazelnut eyes the more your crave his attention. Despite starting to accept your feelings for Dazai, there was still an overwhelming sense that you needed to keep him away from your mother. He doesn't have to know what she does, even if it hasn't been psychical since the threat Chuuya issued months before. She still kept up the emotional abuse, which in some cases was so much worse then being in psychical pain.She was still adamant about studying over having a social life, or being outside the house in general. She rarely allowed you to leave the house.

Although, you of course joined the port mafia. You were out doing whatever you were assigned, whether it was getting people to talk, locating someone, tracking information, or lending your skills in combat, you still made the time no matter what your mom said.

"(y/n)" The sound of your name with no honorifics coming from his lips is surprisingly way more intimate than when Aku or Chuuya says it. "Why did you join the port mafia?" His hand gently rest against your cheek, his thumb sliding across it as if saying whatever your reason is I'll accept it I'm just curious.

Getting that far away look in your eyes as you think about what your desires were when you first joined the Mafia. "I wanted freedom." Dazai tilts his head, he doesn't say anything but his eyes are deep and analytical. He's tempting to decipher the meaning behind your reason.

"You're not free at home?" he frowns. "Is that why you wouldn't let walk you home? Is your mother strict?"

"I.." you shake your head lightly. You don't know what to say. Wanting to tell him the truth and not wanting him to look at you with pity if he knows the truth. He leans forward and captures your soft pink lips in another kiss.

Oh, how his lips seemed so perfect against yours.

When he pulls back there's a serious look in his eyes, "Do you want me to save you?"

The question rings throughout your being. "W-what?"

"Do you want me to save you?"

Suddenly there are tears streaming down your face. Dazai's eyes widen before he kisses you passionately, holding you tight. His tongue dances with yours as he feels your tears slide down your face and onto his. Your hands grab a hold of him, gripping him tightly holding on for dear life.

The kiss is long and passionate, your hands cling to his hair brushing through it feverishly. "d-dazai.." you moan against his lips sending a surge of want throughout his body. He has no intention of letting this kiss be over anytime soon.

Your mind swirls with a dizzying sense of pleasure. His tongue is skilled, and knows just how to move around your mouth. His hands slide around your body touching all your curves. Your eyes are shut tight focusing entirely on the kiss, and a desperate desire to touch his hair.

His hand slowly goes under your shirt, touching your stomach softly before moving up to caress your breast. Your eyes dart open and a heavy blush decorates your cheeks, as you look at Dazai's face and notice his eyes are open too, yet he still continues to kiss you.

He gives your breast a gentle squeeze, you push away panting heavily."d-Dazai..please s-stop.."

"I'm sorry." He whispers pulling his hand away and out from under your shirt to rest it on your hip. "You're just so much more beautiful than I imagined." Your heart palpitates. "I have this strong desire to touch you.." he nips at your lips and whispers "..everywhere."

Oh how his eyes looked into your (e/c) eyes with such adoration. You couldn't help but notice how soft and beautiful they were. "I really like your eyes."

Dazai gives you a goofy grin shacking his head "There just brown though, there nothing like the gorgeous ocean of (e/c) you have."

You shack your head back disagreeing completely. "Your eyes are like a milky chocolate river, i just want to take a dip in them and never emerge."

For the first time since you meet a light blush draws over Dazai's soft cheeks. He leans forward and licks your cheek making you squeak in response. "For never having a boyfriend before you sure are romantic (Y/n)."

"i-..I...uh..How do you know I've never had a boyfriend before?"

"People who join the Port Mafia rarely have love or being in a relationship on there mind."

You blink a few times, having never really thought about it like that. It was true you didn't want to have friends really or get close to anyone. You could say the Port Mafia was part of the reason but mainly it was just your Mother.

"I really hope it doesn't make you cry again, but i'd like to ask once more."

He cups your cheeks in his palms leaning down to kiss your nose."Do you want me to save you?"

Grabbing his hands you pull them away and stare intently into his eyes. Could the boy you just meet, who knew almost everything about you be the one to save you? The boy you were falling in love with. The boy with a mysterious past, whom you knew almost nothing about.

Your eyes harden as you frown. "Tell me about you Dazai."

"I'm 17, My favorite color is red. My birthday is June 19th. My-.."

You suddenly start laughing as your legs rock gently against his lap. Dazai chuckles as well, "I know that's not what you meant but still its new information at least.." He rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

You nod. "Okay.." you smile "keeping going, maybe I'll find some interesting things about you."

"I left the Port Mafia after a good friend of mine went missing." your eyes widen a fraction, the grin on his face is gone and he looks serious. "I knew the boss in the port mafia had something to do with it, he wouldn't tell me where he went or why he left."

"Before he went missing I Found a note he left me." He pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket and hands it to you. You look at the paper and back to him, he nods. You carefully unfold the piece of paper.

It Reads:

Dazai, Nothing in the mafia can feel that lonely hole you have, you will wander in darkness for eternity. But..One day you will meet someone, and they will be your everything. When you think about them there will be no hole in your heart.

I want you to leave the port mafia. Become a good man.

I Know that good and evil don't matter much to you, but at least you'll be a little better. I know you better than anyone.

Because I am your friend.

Carefully folding the paper back up, your rest your hands on your lap and look back up at Dazai. "Dazai..This is..."

"My story." he rests his head on your shoulder. "And it ends with you."


He lightly kisses your neck, you shiver under his touch. "One day you will meet someone.." He quotes the note " and they will be your everything. When you think about them there will be no hole in your heart."

"You saved me." he whispers, sliding his hand down to yours and interlocking your fingers with his.

Fresh tears start to form in your eyes, as your heart begins to have a new kind of ache to it. "I...Saved you..?"

"The moment I started looking into you, I felt something."

"Do you feel it too?"

You close your eyes and truly start to wonder if he's right. I felt it the moment I saw him in the principles office. The moment he smiled at me, he was truly happy to see me..and for some reason I slowly started to feel the same. Throughout the day, being away from him, having to leave him..

It truly hurt.

"Yes, I..started to think that i hate not being around you."

Once you reopen your eyes, you see that he's lifted his head off your shoulder. He smiles down at you tenderly, his fingers drawing soft circles on the palm of your hand.

"You saved me, so let me save you." Suddenly he picks you up bridal style, a hand resting on your back and the other under your legs. Instantly wrapping your arms around him so you wont fall. "W-what are you doing Dazai?" he starts walking, you notice how he's going in the opposite direction of the way you were walking before being lead into the park.

"w-Where are y-you t-taking me..?" He grins down at you. People you pass by on the street stare, some are blushing because you look like such an intimate couple. Others look confused and shake there heads in disapproval. "d-Dazai..people are s-staring..put me d-down.."

"Who wouldn't stare? You are really cute." Burying your face in his chest to hide your flustered expression you mumble his name. Dazai just laughs lightly as he continues to walk and carry you.

After a few minutes you turn your head and rest it against his chest. oh, his heart is beating so softly.. Enjoying the sound of his heart you close your eyes, starting to feel comfortable in his grasp. Dazai notices your lack of struggling and looks down at your face, only to smile at your relaxed expression.

Soon you feel Dazai's grip tighten a bit as he treads up some stairs, opening your eyes you find that you've come to an apartment complex. "Where are we?" you ask lifting your head curiously.

"My place." He sits you down in front of his door as he digs in his pocket for his keys. You blush looking around nervously, "What about your parents?"

You feel a chill as Dazai doesn't even look back at you as he turns the knob of his door opening it, "I live alone." He ushers you in, pulling your hand as he shuts and locks the door behind him.

Dazai tells you that you can just walk around in your socks as he doesn't have any slippers for guest or even himself to wear.

You fidget nervously as you walk behind him, "I Need to go home Dazai, my mom..." you shake your head "..will wonder if i'm getting my homework done."

"The fact that you said she'd be worried about homework, and not you in general makes me less likely to send you home."

You sigh, you should of worded it differently. There's a little to much truth in your statement, as well as Dazai's rebuttal.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Cause you didn't want to go home."

Your mouth drops open as you stare at him wide eyed. "I Never said that."

"you didn't have to." He gestures for you to sit down on the couch and you do as he asks. He sits next to you, taking your hand. "I want you to stay here." You blush pulling your hand away "I-i can't.."

"well you don't have a choice." He grins when you just stare bewildered. "I know you don't want to be a damsel in distress, but princess I'm determined to save you."

Your mouth opens to say something but you just close it, Dazai waits patiently his hands flex like he's itching to touch you but unsure if he should sense you pulled away before.

"what do i tell my mom, when she starts to spam my phone?"

"Tell her your at your boyfriends house, and then add that your homework is done."

You snort a smile twerking up on your lips, as you lightly shake your head. "I'm sure my mom will be very pleased that the homework is getting done."

Dazai chuckles taking a chance inching closer to you, gently running his hand down your arm before picking up your hand and kissing the back of it. "Please stay here, I promise i wont do anything you don't want."

Such a sincere request, and gentleman like promise, your eyes stare into his soft brown ones as if searching for a reason to say no. Of course you don't see any deceit or any hint of lying.

"Okay." you concede in defeat, your tone sounds deflated but the smile on your face betrays the exasperation you feel.

Dazai has a bright smile form on his face, he opens his mouth to say something but you interrupt "I'm going to call my mom first though."

Dazai didn't try to stop you as you pulled out your phone and began searching your contacts for you moms number. He told you whatever she said he'd protect you, and if you didn't want to go home you didn't have too. He asks if while you were talking to her if he could hold you. You thought he meant holding your empty hand but after you said yes he pulled you into his lap circling his arms around your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. Flushing deeply, you remarked mentally that this was different then being in his lap at the park. The main difference being that you were both alone.

Focusing on the phone call as you pressed the button to dial your mom. Talking to her didn't go well, you didn't expect it too. You told her you were staying at a friends house for the night, using a group project as a pretense. She told you to come home in an hour, and whatever else needed to be done could be done over the phone. You made it clear that you wouldn't be returning tonight. She started in with the emotional abuse telling you to not be stupid, not to be an inconvenience to other people, to just come home and study like a good daughter.

You felt your self scoff loudly. She wanted you to be a good daughter when she wasn't even a good mother, and hadn't been since you were at least 8 years old.

Dazai would gently kiss your neck and whisper sweet nothings into your ear to calm you down. After what appeared to be a conversation that was going no where, you hung up on your mom after telling her one last time that you would not be returning home tonight.

Once your call had ended you hung your head low, you knew this was going to have great consequences if you ever went back home alone. Dazai sensing your distress, pushed your hair away from your neck and started giving your neck and shoulders a slow massage.

"ah..." you were blushing but you couldn't help but accept that it did felt nice. "Just relax (y/n), and let me melt away your stress." you bit your lip trying to hold in your moans, because that is really how good a shoulder massage felt to you.

His hands were surprisingly soft and warm against your skin, and eventually you just closed your eyes and let the bliss take over.

While his hands gently massaged your shoulders, he leaned forward and placed his soft lips against the side your neck. Your eyes opened slowly but you don't pull away. Butterfly kisses spread all around your neck before he whispers "I would like to give you a hickey, would that be okay?"

Biting your lip you consider his request, people would see it but they'd stared before. It wouldn't make much of a difference, and the heat rising to your face made you realize you really liked his kisses.

"Go ahead.." you say breathlessly.

Dazai smiles against the soft skin of your neck before planting more kisses. His hands are still giving you a slow massage but soon they slow and switch from your shoulders to caress against your neck. Dazai's lips savor the taste of your sensitive skin, nipping at it grazing his teeth against it and lastly giving you slow sensual licks with his tongue.

A moan leaves your mouth but you don't care, everything he's doing feels way to good. "Dazai..ah.." With one last lick and a kiss he pulls away, pushing you gently off his lap. "Sorry (Y/n), if i continue i can't stop myself." He smiles and you return the gesture, "Thank you, I.." you look away "Even though i'm not at home having my mother hound me to do homework, i do think its a good idea to start on it."

"Great idea, we can help each other."

Both of you pull out your books and journals from the school day and start to work on assignments due tomorrow. Luckily there was no math homework from kunikida-sensei today, a rare day indeed when equations weren't swimming inside your head.

Dazai works on vocab for English, he proves without a doubt that he's an intelligent person. Able to make corresponding sentences with little help and not even look up the words to make sure his meaning is correct.

Eventually Dazai finishes all his homework shutting his books and putting them back in his school bag. "I'm gonna go get started on dinner." Petting your head he gets up, "Anything you don't like?" you shake your head, but then hum out "I don't really like (Least Favorite Vegetable)." He chuckles, "I'll keep that in mind." as he walks away and into his kitchen.

Not long after he leaves, you finish the last of your homework and put it back in your bag. Getting up from the couch you walk around Dazai's apartment, most of his place was covered in book shelves. He had a tv in the middle of the living room, in front of that was a black glass table, and by that was the tan colored cotton couch you both had sat on.

There were no photos anywhere in the living room. You wondered if he hated pictures, or if he just but them somewhere else. Perhaps somewhere not visible.

Eventually you wonder down the hall easing open a door finding a study or almost like an office. There was a computer in the middle on a dark brown desk and behind it was more bookshelves. Looking next to the door you notice a golden coat rack and raise a questioning brow, it seemed out of place but you just chuckle re-closing the door and starting further down the hall.

Opening the second to to last door in the hall you find a pretty large bedroom. A couple of dressers against the wall, and large king size bed sits in the middle and next to it is a table with a lamp on it. Walking over you sit on the bed, thats when you notice on the left side of the bed is another table but it has a picture frame on it. Instinctively reaching for it you look it up and down curiously. It was a picture of Dazai wearing all black, next to him stood an older man with redish brown hair and light stubble on his face. This second man next to Dazai seemed confused but the picture itself seemed to give you good vibes.

Suddenly strong arms push your shoulders till your back lands against the soft mattress, and your staring up into the mauve eyes of Dazai. He strokes your cheek, the expression on his face is hard to read. "Curious kitten" he breaths softly before capturing your lips in slow kiss.

When he pulls away from the kiss he takes the frame from your hands and pulls you up back into sitting position on the bed.

"You found an old photo, i see." His eyes soften as he smiles at the frame.

"I..did, younger Dazai really liked black." you tease he chuckles nodding.

"Can I ask who the man next to you is?" you question carefully in a soft tone.

Dazai blinks at you before a wide smile adorns his handsome features. "He was my one and only true friend you could say."

The nostalgic look in his eyes and the way he said 'true friend' reminds you of the note a certain person in the mafia wrote to him. "The man who went missing?" You frown touching his hand in a gentle comforting gesture.

He nods smiling down at your hand "He was like my mentor, he understood me more than anyone else."

"I'd like to understand you too." you grab his hand and with a heavily flushed face bring it to your lips and give it a soft kiss. The full force of his smile is overwhelming, how can he look so...beautiful? "If..i mean..if thats..okay.." you murmur suddenly unsure.

Pulling your close to him, wrapping his arms around your shoulders giving you a tight hug he mutters "Of course"

"By the way dinner is getting cold." chuckles pulling away.

Your eyes widen as Dazai stands and offers you his hand. "Shall we go eat?" you nod taking his hand as he leads you back into the hall and into the kitchen. A wonderfully delicious aroma wafts into your nose even before you enter the kitchen. "That smells so good." You hum walking over to a pot of what looks and smells like a delicious stew.

Dazai grins before leaning over you body burring his nose in your neck, after placing his hands on your hips. "You smell much better though." profusely blushing but before you can say anything he nudges your hips pushing you away from the pot and towards his dinning table. "Go sit I will make us both a bowl." muttering a quick okay you take a seat in a brown chair.

He pours two bowls full of stew and carefully sits one in front of you, and takes a seat next to you. The steam rising from your bowl in tantalizing. It really does smell divine, you carefully pick up a spoon full blow on it and then finally taste it. The soup is really delicious, you smile with a toothy grin "This taste amazing Dazai, you're a fantastic cook!"

He smiles at you as he tastes some of his stew as well, "I'm glad you like it." both of your continue to enjoy the soup occasional bringing up some small talk, like how did he like school and how were his classes.

When you eat the last bit of your stew, you hum satisfied leaning back in the chair. "that was great, i should make you cook everyday." you giggle turning to look at him. He grabs your chair and pulls it closer to him, you blush as he leans forward and kisses your cheek. "sounds like a plan i can be the housewife, while your the bread winner." He smirks playfully, twirling a piece of your hair.

You slowly blink and then start laughing, you should be blushing but you can't just help but laugh at the reverse of a natural stereotype. "I like the reverse." you say between your fits of soft laughter.

Smiling gently at you, he pulls you in for a quick kiss before telling you he's going to wash the dishes and when you offer to help he's quick to refuse your offer saying "Not tonight, i want you to relax."

Shooing you away gently Dazai starts on the dishes while you continue your exploration of the house.

Deciding to go back into the bedroom, you open some of the doors inside confirming that there is a bathroom connected to the bedroom. The bathroom is a decent size the shower has a glass door frame, and there's even a separated tube for when you just need to soak.

Moving on you open another door to reveal a closet, it has a lot of black clothing mixed with some regular shirts and jeans. There were some boxes on a shelf but even though you were curious, you wanted to respect at least most of his privacy.

The door at the end of the hall outside his bedroom was another closet, it was relatively empty but it had some sheets and spare blankets on the shelf.

Satisfied with your exploration you head back into the living room, you can still hear the water running so you knew Dazai wasn't done with the dishes yet. You could turn on the tv and find something to watch while you wait for his return but the books drew your attention more than the tv.

I wonder what kind of books Dazai likes to read.

Easing over to the bookshelf your index finger runs along the spine of several books noting there names and authors, it was an odd collection. Some were mystery novels, others seemed to be how to guides on suicide, but it wasn't the book you choose to focus on. Instead you pull a book with a red cover out of its place "No longer human" you hum caressing the cover gently.

Deciding it seemed like a good book to start reading you walk back over to the couch and sit down. Eventually after reading a few chapters your eyes start to feel heavy and before you know it the book is gently resting against your chest.

"(Y/n), do you want to-.." He stops mid sentence coming over to your sleeping figure. " a movie, guess not."

He picks up the book you started to read and gets that hazed over look in his brown eyes. "You would pick this one, out of all the books here.." he bends down caressing you cheek "Thats why I love you, you find ways to understand me without even trying.." He lowers his lips and brushes them against your temple.

Gently picking you up and cradling you against his chest he walks you to his bedroom and tucks you in under the covers. He wants to sleep next to you but wonders if you'd be to freaked out. He pets your head running his fingers through your hair for a few mins, just as he's pulling away your eyes ease open slowly.

Dazai is quick to retract his hand and is about to apologize when you just smile at him, catching him off guard. "Didn't mean to wake you.." he says sheepishly, you grab his hand and pull him into the bed.

"Sleep with me"

Dazai flushes slightly at the straightforward request but when you just cuddle next to him laying your head on his chest he relaxes.

"Good night (Y/n)." He whispers easing his arms around your smaller frame as he rests his head against the pillow just above your head.

"Good night Dazai" you mutter sleepily, mind hazy and groggy as you enjoy Dazai's warmth and being in his arms


I really do have a thing for fountains.. :x So know you do as well!

You're welcome.

Chapter Text

I'm writing so much these days! This story means a lot to me.

Ugh Dazai why can't you be real?!


Dazai is the first to wake up the next morning. His brown eyes look down at your sleeping face and a smile spreads across his own. He can't help but notice that your arms are wrapped around his waist and your head is resting on his chest.

A Cheshire like grin comes to Dazai's face. He brushes a hand through your hair and watches as you roll your face away from him just enough to expose your neck to him.

Bending down he places a slow kiss on your soft skin. A small murmur leaves your lips as your eyes ease open. Dazai kisses your neck again and again peppering it with soft fluttery kisses.

"d-dazai..what are you.." when he licks at your neck gently your breath hitches. Your hands cling to him as a dark blush comes over your face.

He pulls away with a grin, before lowering himself to give you a kiss on your soft plump lips. You kiss back even though you're flustered and a bit confused. His hands press against your back pushing you into his body, your heart races as your lips are finally freed from his.

"Did you enjoy your wake up call?" Dazai's hands a flighty as they slide up from your back to caresses against your cheek, there's a smirk on his face but his eyes are gentle.

This is why I'm falling in love. He's very..sexual about his desires but I'm drawn to him none the less. His feelings of being in love feel true. His soft caresses tell me that he really wants to be with me. While his more heated touches tell me he's attracted to me.

You blush looking into his soft brown eyes. "I think a simple 'its time to get up' would have sufficed." you say rolling away from him. Dazai grabs your hips mid roll and pushes you down till he's hovering over you.

Heart thumping wildly you try to ask him what is he's doing but all he does is stare at you. A few seconds turns into a few mins of him just looking into your soft (e/c) eyes. "Dazai..are you okay?" you question softly reaching up a hand to touch his cheek.

He turns his face towards your hand and kisses your fingers. Your heart flutters at the contact. "I'm sorry, i'm having trouble controlling myself when i'm next to you.." he presses your palm to his lips "but i don't want to force you into anything."

Smiling as he eases down to kiss your cheek, he then rolls off of you and helps you stand up. "We should get ready for school." He points you towards the bathroom "You can take a shower if you want, i can wash your cloths while you wear something of mine."

You consider his offer, part of your felt uneasy being alone in a boys apartment while taking a shower? Dazai clearly had sexual interest, but was making exceptional ploys to control himself. Just knowing he felt he had to be extra careful with how he touched you, made you feel at ease.

"Alright..I'll take a quick shower." Dazai nodded as he went over to his closest and pulled out a large black shirt and a pair of his pants. He handed them to you and tells you to hand him your cloths before you step into the shower. When you blush at his simple request, you notice he's angled his face away from you. Maybe he feels a little bit embarrassed too?

"o-okay, give me a second." you quickly scamper to the bathroom and undress. wrapping a white fluffy towel around your body as you roll up your cloths and ease the door open. Dazai's standing next to the door waiting patiently he glances at you for only a second before he turns away and holds out his hand. Placing your cloths in his hand you close and lock the door behind you.

Quickly turning on the shower and easing inside you enjoy the warmth of the water. Not wanting to take to long, you quickly showered, dried off and pulled on Dazai's cloths. His shirt was only slightly baggy around your body while his pants basically slipped off the moment you pulled them up. You laughed at your image in the mirror, Dazai's cloths weren't very flattering but they were comfy. Opening the door with one hand holding up the pants you edge over to his closet and pull out a belt. Quickly fastening it around your waist you make your way into Dazai's living room.

It only takes you a few moments to track Dazai into the kitchen after seeing he wasn't in the living room. He looks up and grins at the sight of you in his cloths. "Don't you look spiffy." he comments. You laugh sitting down next to him. "there not to bad." you admit with a small smile.

Dazai tells you your cloths are already washed and he's just waiting for them to dry now. Looking at Dazai out of the corner of your eye you slowly ease into a conversation he doesn't want to hear, and you almost don't want to enact but you can't avoid it.

45mins later you and Dazai are walking to school. Dazai refuses to let your hand go the entire way there.

"Dazai-kun, I'm know i have too."

"I do, but i still don't like it.

You told Dazai, you had to go back home. Truth be told you didn't want too, but you were just 16 years old, and if you didn't come home your mother would cause a lot of problems. Dazai made his case while you waited on your cloths. He listed several reasons why you should stay with him. Some of them were even cute like "Don't go you make my bed warm." you smile softly as you remember that.

When you both make it to the front gate, you smile recognizing your lovely mad hatter leaning against the wall. "Chuuya, Good morning~" you hum to him a grin spreading across your face.

"Morning Rabbit...What is he doing with you?" Chuuya's azure eyes narrow threateningly at dazai. You blink, he really does hate him...this is more than someone who makes fun of your height.

Why didn't i see it yesterday..?

Dazai grins pulling you close to him as he places his hands on your hips hugging you from behind. A pink blush comes to your face as you try to stutter out an answer to Chuuya.

"Kouhai-chan is my gf." Dazai says as of matter fact, like its no big deal.

You blush but don't deny it, looking up to chuuya's face to give him an assuring smile "Yeah..I..we..started dating yesterday."

Chuuya frowns deeply "(y/n), you don't even know him." He puts a hand on your shoulder "You don't know-"

"That he was a member of the port mafia?"

Chuuya flinches slightly before turning to fully glare at Dazai "You waste of bandages, what did you tell her?"

Dazai shrugs before he calmly faces Chuuya "I Told her what you should of told her."

Your orange haired bestie balls his fist glaring frighteningly before turning his gaze to you and his eyes instantly soften, before he looks away. "Rabbit, i.."

"Its okay My mad hatter." Pulling away from Dazai, you wrap your hands around chuuya hugging him tightly. "I know you were protecting me." Chuuya wraps his hands around you hugging you back.

"(l/n)-san, the principle wants to see you, and don't think you can hide this time." Says a very familiar stoic voice. You watch the office aid from the day before come over pushing her ugly pony tail behind her shoulder.

Laughing as you pull away from Chuuya, "I'm sure i have no idea what you mean, I'm always happy to visit Neko-sensei." She gives you a very annoyed look. "I'll see you guys later." You say to both Dazai and Chuuya, giving the later a soft smile before turning and kissing Dazai on the cheek sheepishly.

Dazai watched you retreat with a grin on his face before he turns to Chuuya's icy glare.

"Why did it have to be you.." the azure eyed mafioso seethes.

"That's exactly what i was thinking." Dazai's hands loosely fit into pockets as he leans against the wall. "I'm going to make (y/n) happy, she wont need you when she has me."

Chuuya's pops his knuckles as he glares dangerously at Dazai. "You can't make her happy, your history is the deepest red I've ever seen, compared to you mine is pink."

Dazai lowers his head his bangs covering his eyes. Just as he opens his mouth "Dazai-kun! Good morning, have you seen (y/n)-chan?"

Looking up Dazai see's your white haired friend Atsushi walking towards him. Dazai forces a smile "She's talking to the principal." He nods slowly "She didn't..bring her switchblade to school again did she?" He asks nervously, "No she doesn't have it, i don't think she's in trouble." Dazai says giving him a reassuring smile.

Chuuya makes a loud 'tsk' noise before walking away. Dazai continues to chat with your friend meanwhile...

You knock once and then enter into the principals office. "Ah, yes there you are (y/n)-san." Neko-sensei motions for you to take a seat.

"I didn't do it." He raises an eyebrow at you. laughing you sit down "Whatever, they say i did. I didn't do it."

"I'm sure you did a lot of things but you're not in trouble." He smirks at you and you smirk back. He was a great sport when it came to how..edgy your real personality really was.

"How is Dazai-kun doing?" You blink at the question, it dawns on you he's just wondering how the new student is doing. You smile softly but just as you're about to respond another voice you recognize interrupts you.

"There dating, so I think its safe to say he's doing great." Turning around you see your favorite advanced history teacher grin at you cheekily. Was he here the whole time? You fidget slightly a small blush coming over your cheeks.

"I see, thats wonderful. Young love is great." you smile gently but then blush and groan when both of your two favorite teachers start to tease you. After a few minutes you excuse yourself with a grin, you kind of felt overjoyed to have 2 adults approve of your relationship.

If only i could get my mom to see it that way..

School went by in the blink of an eye. Boring classes were boring, and classes with Dazai were amazing. You felt like when he was in the room it sort of lit up. Maybe its just cause he made you happy.

Most of you friends were thrilled to find out you and Dazai were dating. The main people to show complete disapproval were Akutagawa and Chuuya. You didn't really understand there complete hatred of him, but didn't press them. In the end you just felt happy they cared enough about you to feel like protecting you.

Dazai interlocked your fingers with his as he walked you home. Without thinking to much about it your leaned your head on his shoulder. He smiled gently down at you. "Do you really have to go home?" he questioned making you both stop as he pulled you close to his chest.

Heart thumping you brought your shaky hands up to wrap around him "I do, I can't just run away from my mom." not without causing so many problems - you left that part out.

"Its not running away, its moving out." He smirks running a hand down your back, it was a simple gesture but it gave you chills.

You looked up at him with a flushed face, " soon to move in with you..and we just started" you shyly turn your head away. When you glance back at him he's just staring at you. He seems to just enjoy looking at you sometimes.

You pull away grabbing his hand edging him forward again. "Anyway..My house is just a little further down." You gesture down the road, you tell him what your house looks like. And when you finally reach it, you let out a sigh.

"See you don't want to be here."

You sigh again "Its true, but a lot of kids feel trapped at home." You shrug, trying to make it not a big deal. You start to walk past the entrance to your house but Dazai pulls you back around the wall as he leans against it pulling your into him.


"I just want a kiss."

He places his hand on the side of your neck, thumb lightly caressing your cheek as his fingers lightly press you forward. You blush but lean forward as your lips are connected in a soft kiss.

When you pull away both of you are softly smiling at each other. He leans off the wall and guides you to your door. You glance at the door and back to him. "Thank you for walking me home." He lifts his hand and just as he's about to caress it through your hair he stops. You tilt your head to the side confused. "just in case your mom is watching."

You frown before forcing yourself to smile. He was honestly being so perfect, he thought maybe you didn't want your mom to know. He could be another reason your mother antagonized you, and he would hate that.

"parting is such sweet sorrow, my dear Juliet but I'll see you tomorrow." You giggle and nod. "See you tomorrow." you put your hand on the door knob and whisper "Romeo." before opening the door and closing it behind you swiftly.

As soon as you were behind the door Dazai glared up at your house. Cursing your mother for controlling you with fear, but he wasn't going to give up.

Inside your house you counted your blessings when the only thing your mother did to you for disobeying her was make you do EXTRA - extra advanced worksheets. Instead of the usual 4 pages a night it was 8 then. You went to bed that night feeling extra exhausted but excited to see Dazai the next day.

And that's how they days went by. You spent the best part of your days with Dazai at school. Funny right? School where most people hated to be, you enjoyed being there because thats where Dazai was. Thats where your other friends were.

Your nights were full of never ending extra prep work for classes you weren't even taking, and subjects you never had to master but were still forced to anyway. Cause thats what your mother wanted. She wanted you to be the best at everything.

Since you were small you knew she was the type of person who used the fact that you had good grades to gloat. You were like a status symbol more than a child to her. She would basically be like "Look at this, she aced another test, I'm the best mom ever."

You didn't care though. You had Chuuya and your friends before, but now you had Dazai. He made you feel special, loved, and worth something other than someone who could get good grades.

Weeks went by as you and Dazai grew closer, and slowly you started to realize that Chuuya had become distant. You were seeing him at school less and less, after awhile the only place you were seeing him was at the port mafia's warehouse.

You decided that you were going to find out what was going on. Spotting him leaving one of the main offices you call out to him.

"Mad hatter can I talk to you?"


Oh noes confrontation!? Will there be some drama in the next chapter?

Stay tuned to find out.

Chapter Text


Chuuya turned around at the sound of your voice. "Hey (Y/n), did you just get back from your mission?" His tone seemed to be flatter than usual.

You noted he didn't call you rabbit like he usually does but you ignored it. With a slow nod of your head you explained it was just a simple data retrieval mission. "I Already handed the info off to Hirotsu-san."

"I See." He looked you up and down for a second before turning away, "Well i have work to do."

"M-mad hatter wait..!" you shifted to stand in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

You frowned starting to get a sinking feeling in your stomach. "I haven't seen you at school i was wondering if something happened.."

"I just decided work the boss wants me to get done is more important." He starts to stroll passed you but your grab his wrist. "Are you mad at me?" Chuuya balls one of his fits clenching in onto the inner lining of his pants pocket, "Why would I be mad at you?" He pulled away shoving both of his hands in his pockets before side stepping around your frowning deeply body and walking away.

Something isn't right... You frowned deeply at his retreating form. Ever since Dazai came to school, Chuuya's been slowly becoming more and more distant, like eh's avoid even talking to you. A warm solitary tear slides down your face as you clench a hand over your chest and whisper:

"Wonderland is starting to feel lonely."

Leaving the Mafia's warehouse you find yourself aimlessly strolling around. Thinking about Chuuya. He's been your best friend for almost 3 years. Yes you joined the mafia 2 years ago, but you meet Chuuya prior to that. As luck would have it...or maybe your heart simply knew where you wanted to be you end up at the very first place you meet Chuuya.

Looking at the river your mind becomes hazy with the nostalgic warm memory:


"I TOLD YOU TO STUDY HARDER!" Your mother screams slapping you across the face. Your eyes have long sense become lifeless and dulled to the pain you felt from her nearly everyday. You stand there listening to your pathetic excuse for a parent tell you how she wanted you to get above 92 on this test and how you only ended up getting an 85.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" She hisses grabbing your hair and shoving you harshly into the wall, making you fall to the ground. You could feel a bruise forming but you didn't care. She spits more insults at you and eventually leaves you alone. Standing you put on your shoes and decide to go out. Damn the consequences, it wont matter at this point. "Anything to get away from here.."

Your dull eyes stare at the sky as you walk the street no particular destination in mind. Eventually you come to a grassy park with a river running along side it. At first you walk just enjoying the smell of the water, until you hear the sounds of a heated scuffle.

Turning your eyes land on a crowd of people, edging closer you see at least 8 people ganging up on one orange haired boy in the middle.

Its not really your problem as you start to turn away only to halt when several of them charge forward, your head turns back to watch as the orange haired boy takes about 3 of them down effortlessly. Then a 4th, but the 5th and 6th pull blades out. You frown, the orange haired guy didn't have a weapon.

You think he's going to get stabbed but this guy has good moves, he dodges and redirects there blows like a pro. It isn't till you noticed the 8th guy pull out a gun, and fire that you suddenly find yourself darting forward.

Pulling out your own silver and brown switchblade, you stab through the hand of the guy with the gun. He screams out and you use your legs to kick him hard in the gut knocking him out. The others are caught off guard by your sudden intrusion that they don't see any of your attacks coming as you lunge at them proceeding to knock the rest of them out.

Huffing lightly while sprinkled with blood that's not yours, you turn to the mysterious brawler.

"Who the fuck are you?" He scowls holding his shoulder.

You don't answer him as you pull his hand away and look at his wound. The bullet grazed him, he wasn't bleeding to bad, but it probably still hurt like a bitch.

He shoves you away, "Don't touch me" you shrug "You're hurt let me help you." He scoffs, "I don't need your help." He walks over to every knocked out person and ruffles through their pockets, it isn't till he pulls out a thumb drive that you figure out he was stealing some kind of data from them.

He turns and starts to walk away. "Wait, let me at least wrap up the wound." As he's turning he starts to say "Listen bitch-" but he stops when you tare a piece of your shirt and edge forward. His eyes widen to show his confusion as you gingerly take his arm pushing up his sleeve just enough to wrap the makeshift cloth around his injury.

When you let go and pull away, you find yourself smiling softly as you nod at your work. "There that's better than nothing." You turn and start walking away but its his turn to stop you with a grip of your elbow. "Who are you?" he questions deep azure eyes narrowed.

(L/n, F/n), I just happened to be walking by.." You hold up your hands "I don't want to fight, I'm not with them."

"Clearly you stabbed one of them and I'm pretty sure 2 of those other guys have broken ribs." You chuckle turning back to face him. "I did what i had to."

For a few minutes Both you and this mysterious stranger are just looking at each other. Both trying to decide the others intentions.

Soon enough you both are talking and ended up sitting down next to the river on top of the soft grass. Slowly you get to know each other,and about everything that happened moments before. He even tells you He's in the port mafia, and when you don't even bat an eye, He makes a choice about you. "You're not to bad (Y/n), you got decent fighting skills too." he grins at you.

You smile back leaning backwards on the grass staring up at the night sky. "Whats your name by the way? Or should i call you Mafioso?" you chuckle closing your eyes enjoying the night breeze.

"Nakahara Chuuya."

A smile spreads across your face as you ease your eyes open. "I prefer to call you Mad Hatter." you grin, "That hat you have on is simply fabulous."

He gives you a toothy grin. "Thanks, Should i call you Alice then? Or more like Rabbit, since you jumped all over the place earlier with incredible speed."

"Rabbit? I like it!"

*end flashback*

Suddenly a hand touches your cheek making your eyes flare open, to stare into.."Dazai-kun?" you question softly as if in a daze. His coffee colored orbs look incredibly worried as the back of his hand wipes your face. That's when you realize..there were slippery tears streaming down your face.

"(Y/n) whats wrong? What are you doing here?" He knelt down in front of you.

You frown and shake your head as more tears stream down your face. Dazai tries to soothe you, caressing your cheek, pulling you close, and even hugging you tight. Eventually he convinces you to walk with him to his apartment.

He pulls you into his lap as he sits on the couch and you blush slightly but find that you desperately want to be held. He kisses away the tears that stain your cheeks, and rubs your back soothingly. "(Y/n) Please tell me whats wrong?"

You stare up into his eyes feeling dejected, till you tilt your head away biting your lip. I can't tell him he hates Chuuya. Nothing even happened..he's just busy.. You reasoned but tears started to swell in your eyes.

Dazai pulled your chin towards him kissing it gently. "Come on, my love you can tell me anything."

A smile creeps up onto your face, as your hands edge into his hair before leaning down and giving him a kiss to show you do appreciate how he cares. His hands hold your hips steady, as he returns your action petting a few of his fingers up against the back of your head.

"Its...Chuuya.." you start softly, Dazai tilts his head trying to not frown at the mention of his nemesis.

"I think he hates me.."

"He couldn't hate you.." Dazai looks away, and you press him softly for his reasoning. "Dazai-kun, what are you thinking about?"

Dazai's soft brown eyes look into your eyes, the glossy glow of your beautiful orbs that threaten to cry again, make him realize you need to know the truth.

"I'll tell you just close your eyes for a second." You blink a few times before easing them shut.

Dazai shifts your hips so that you're facing him, straddling your hips on either side of him and pushes your hair away from your neck to bend down and place a soft kiss on your skin

"Ah.." your eyes ease open only to shut again as he licks your neck gently. You couldn't deny you liked this feeling, his lips, and soft touches..they just made you feel tingly. More kisses are placed around your neck as he nips tenderly like a kitten at your sweet spot eliciting a soft moan from your pink parted appendages.

"(Y/n), its not you he hates its me." He kisses up your neck to your ear nibbling on it softly. You can feel your heart rate picking up as your lips part with the softest of frowns. "He's..avoiding me..though.." you ease your head away letting him have more access to the side of your neck.

Licking the shell of your ear as he kisses back down your neck "He hates sharing you as much as I do, but I wont let him have you."

Your eyes open at that, as you feel his hands slide up your back under your shirt. Making your face start to heat up as you look into his eyes, "'re my boyfriend but...Chuuya will always be my Mad Hatter.."

His hands shift from your back to your stomach, caressing it gently as he watches your face "I am your boy friend, So I'm the only who can touch you like this." His fingers gingerly edge up your stomach as his hand lands on your soft round breast giving it a squeeze.

With a soft gasp you press yourself into Dazai whispering softly "Y-yes, you are the only one who can t-touch me like this.."

Dazai is surprised that you're letting him touch you, your cute soft moans and flushed adorable face, make it hard for him to stop.. His fingers edge under your bra till his hand cups your breast kneading the soft flesh. You lean your head back and moan sharply, "Dazai, e-even though you are...I want my Mad Hatter to be apart of m-my life.."

Dazai pinches your sensitive bud making your whimper and moan his name. "I want you to myself (Y/n)." He eases your shirt off and your face darkens with a blush but you don't cover yourself. "You're so beautiful.." Dazai whispers as he takes Your right breast into his mouth kissing and swirling his tongue around it, producing a wet pop as he pulls away.

"D-dazai..Oh..Ah~.." you moan his name as your fingers curl into his hair, you can feel yourself growing hot. His own digits flick at your bra's clasp and it falls to the floor with little effort. And there you are in front of him completely topless.

His mouth switches back and forth between your soft exposed breasts, giving them both equal attention. Your body trembles underneath him in pleasure. "D-dazai, don't s-stop." You moan to him softly showing him the ebbing layer of desire forming in your eyes as he pulls back to look at your face, making a grin slowly forms on his face.

You pant a deep blush on your face. His hands go up your body caressing it gently before sliding his fingers against your neck pulling you into a kiss. This lip lock doesn't stop at just one, eventually your tongues mix together as his hand flows back down caressing up your inner thigh. "Do I Have permission to make you mine?"

Your breathing becomes slow panting as your heart tingles from the very indication. " gentle with me.." you pant out a moan as he slides a finger against your panties. "J-just please understand C-chuuya is important to m-me.."

Dazai presses 2 fingers against your increasingly growing wetness. He pulls you down into more kisses, a sweet kiss, a soft kiss, a kiss that makes you feel like he understands.

"As long as I get to Love you, you can be friends with whomever small midget people you want."

Wrapping your arms around him a smile forms on your face that soon twist into an expression full of pleasure as he slides your underwear to the side and thrusts 2 fingers into your heat. "Ah~ P-please Dazai it Feels so good...!"

"You feel really warm dear Kouhai-chan, Maybe now is a good time to call me senpai." You laugh but soon are moaning and gasping his name. Deciding he's definitely earned it, you surprise him when you grab his free hand and place it on your breast and look at him with an irresistible sexy smile and whisper cutely, "P-please make me feel g-good Senpai~"

As soon as those words haze from your lips, Dazai grabs your hips and presses you into him wrapping your legs around his waist as he stands up.

You can feel against your thigh how hard he is, which makes You blush wrapping your arms around his neck trying to not fall. "Dazai?"

"Lets take this to the bedroom, okay love?"

"Okay Senpai~" you feel your blush tingle as you giggle softly. Dazai smiles deviously at you, which causes your heart to skip an enamoring beat. He was a very beautiful and breathtaking man.

"Stick out your tongue." He hummed to you calmly as he started walking.

You blink slowly tilting your head to the side curiously. "Why?"

"Stick it out and you'll find out why~." His charming smile catches you off guard so without thinking about it too much you stick out your tongue.

You don't know what you thought was going to happen. It certainly wasn't what he decided to do, but you were naive and full of kitty-like curiosity.

Dazai leans forward and wraps his lips around your tongue sucking on it. A shock of immense confusing pleasure wracks through your body. On instinct you try to retract your tongue but it doesn't matter he follows suit and soon you're engaged in the most passionate french kiss in your life

Your so engrossed in the kiss that you don't notice your surroundings have changed till your back hits the mattress of Dazai's bed. He pulls away as he lays you down gently. He grins at your dazed expression, taking off his shirt before sliding in hovering over you, grabbing your hands and placing them on his chest. Despite most of him being covered in bandages like his arms you can feel his muscles through the material in a delightfully enamoring way.

You awe at his body, he was gorgeous even though..covered by cotton ribbons. You really wanted to take them off, but it felt like maybe he wasn't ready to show you what was under them just yet.

You get an idea as you hear Dazai's soft murmurs at your caresses. You shifted your position with him so now he was bellow you. You kiss his lips gently before moving to his neck, and then down his chest kissing over all over his ribbons. "(Y/n).." he groaned softly, sliding his hand through your hair.

However, he pulled you up swiftly changing your positions once again. "You asked for me to make you feel good, So I will."

His fingers snake into the edge of your panties edging them down as he kisses down your chest nipping at your buds just to hear you gasp his name.

Once your panties are pulled down you close your legs blushing intensely. He chuckles kissing your knee, a slow sensual kiss that reminds you of the one he gave you the first day you meet.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, My Princess~." He continues kissing up your knee slowly edging your legs apart, "You're beautiful, and I'll be gentle.." He assures smoothly unaware of your heart thunderous thumping as you allow him to spread your legs ever further apart.

Him staring at your most private parts forces you to shut your eyes tight, only to shoot open when you feel his tongue lick at your clit and down your trembling pink slit. "Ah, please d-don't tease me s-so much..~" You moan sharply your body arching into him.

His tongue laps at your juices before pressing deeply into your core. Your legs start to feel like jelly as your mind becomes hazy with pleasure. "O-osamu.." You moan his first name, and his chocolate brown eyes rise in surprise before immediately starting to thrust faster, his tongue curling up and down as his hands find their way back up to your breasts squeezing them and pinching your nips.

"Ah~ Osamu...Please..I can't take it..." you can feel your toes curling as your hands squeeze at the sheets under you, "i'm going to..c-cum.." you whimper as you feel his tongue leave you only to scream out his name again as he uses 2 of his fingers to spread your lower lips and trust his tongue back much deep inside your walls. The erotic and enticing smell of your sex enough to drive any man wild with insatiable desire.

"Cum for me (Y/n), I want to taste your sweet nectar."

Your face explodes into a heavy blush, unable to control your voice no matter how hard you try. You moan his name over and over, feeling your hips start to sway with his movement, wanting him to help you feel your very first orgasm.

When his tongue curls up one last time to hit dangerously close to your g-spot you mewl out his name body writhing with its first pleasurable release, your juices slide down his chin as he pulls away gladly licking them.

"Sweet like the worlds most beautiful flower."

Oh how your heart fluttered and danced, chest heaving slightly trying to regain its former breathing pattern.

"Osamu.." He edged up to kiss you, and you could swear you still tasted some of your own essence but you didn't care at all.

Dazai lowered his pants and boxers, fully displaying himself. You felt the heat on your cheeks flare to life, as he slowly eased himself in front of your entrance. You moaned merely from the contact and maybe a little bit of anticipation. "You think you moaned before, my beautiful princess but just wait.." His hand caresses your cheek, and your eyes strain to stay open from the mere thought of having him inside you.

"I'll be gentle but tell me if it hurts." You nod smiling at him even though you could swear you were having a heart attack from the irregularity in your heart beat.

Just as he starts to ease inside you, your mouth opens to scream or moan not even sure which cause Dazai covers your lips with his giving you a long sweet passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his frame as you feel him continue to fill you up till there is not even an inch of space between you. When he notices the corner of your eyes are pricked with tears he kisses them away whispering sweet things nothing to help you relax. You feel so overwhelmed, so full, like you could burst any second. Yet you burn for him to rile up your insides.

"y-you can move Osamu." You smile to reassure him you're alright. He nods before starting to thrust its slow but it feels amazing. "Ah~, I feel s-so hot all over..!" you moan clinging to his shoulders. Before you know it his speed picks up and he's thrusting so fast inducing whimpers of his name over and over again. "Osamu, S-so fast..!" Your breast bounce with his mind fogging friction.

"(Y/n) your so tight, its like you're squeezing me.." Dazai pants into your ear giving it a slow lick, you mewl out his name digging your nails into his shoulders trying to desperately steady yourself.

He picks up your legs wrapping them around his waist just so he can thrust much deeper mixing up your insides with his incredible vigor. "O-osamu! Ah please~!" You moan out his name, throwing your head back squeezing your eyes shut as your body heaves to and fro in complete pleasure.

"Your insides are throbbing against my cock (Y/n), I can't hold back much longer."

His thrust become more erratic as his hands greedily kneed at your body, itching to have any part of you between his fingers. From your breasts, to your hips to slowly easing his hands under your body to cup your very squeezable ass.

You enjoy the feeling of his soft hands roaming your body, and you try to return the gesture scoring your hands around his back, shoulders and finally wrapping yourself around his neck as your lips beg for kisses which he happily supplies you with.

You both are immersed in the rough act of having sex, moaning each others name, clawing each others skin, and bodies aching for pleasurable release.

"Ah~, Osamu..I'm going to cum!"

"Me too, Love." He bites at your neck sending chills down your spine, nipping the soft flesh as his speed picks up again, hitting every pleasurable nerve impulse with such precision that your body trembles. You can feel his length throbbing inside you. Your legs squeeze him as you pull him down for one last kiss feeling your second orgasm edge through your body as your juices slide down your thighs soaking his member.

Dazai slides away coating the bed sheets bellow you with his milky seed. Instantly he collapses to your side as he turns, wrapping his arms around and hugging you close to his bandaged covered chest.

"Are you alright?" your chest heaves heavily as your eyelids threaten to close from a pure sense of a pleasurable exhaustion.

"My legs feel like jelly." You grin.

"Sorry, I said I'd be gentle.." He smiles edging a hand up your shoulder before petting through your hair softly. "But I couldn't help myself.."

"Its fine, but I'm not going home tonight."

"You don't have to go home ever."

"That kind of sounds fantastic..maybe I'll take you up on it this time."

You smile at him as your eyes slowly close, easing into a peaceful pleasure induced sleep.

Dazai kisses your cheek easing himself away from you as he goes over to your phone. He'd relieved you of it during your passion placing it on the table far away, he didn't want you to know it was ringing earlier.

When he looks at the recent caller ID he frowns and sighs.

5 Missed calls from Mom

Deleting your recent call history Dazai places your phone on the table next to the bed. Getting back into bed with you, wrapping the covers around both of your naked bodies. He slides his arms around you pulling you towards him to lay against his chest, smiling as you cuddle into him like a precious little kitten.

"Good night Beautiful."


yES i enjoyed writing this a lot more than I should have.

Will you talk to your mom next chapter?

Does Chuuya still care about you?

Find out next time ~ Stay tuned~

Chapter Text

The next morning you woke up feeling slightly groggy. Yawning you rubbed your eyes as you rolled to the side, but you misjudged the distance and started falling backwards...but Dazai was quick to loop his hand tightly around your waist stilling you in midair.

He held the most gorgeous smirk on his face "Easy there, you nearly face planted the ground."

"T-thanks.." you still felt a bit of embarrassment when you were around him. He was so wonderful, and he choose you. He always made you feel special.

You were lost in your thoughts admiring his features till his eyes drifted to your lower body "I'm liking the view by the way.." He eased you back onto the bed as he lowered his head and kissed down your neck till his lips connected with your soft mounds.

And that's when it hit you. Fucking hell I'm still naked?

"Kya~.." you squealed blushing profusely as your hands grabbed onto his shoulders pushing him. "Osamu.." you moaned his name as his tongue flicked across your sensitive bud.

"(Y/n) the sounds you make are so adorable." he pulled away to grab the covers and pull them up over both of you as he wrapped his arms around you and just smiled at you lovingly.

You smiled back, glad he stopped his morning advances. "Osamu I have an idea." He raised an eyebrow while his hand petted through your hair "Whats that, my love?" A small giggle left your mouth as you leaned into his hand. "I really like it when you say that."

"Say what, My love~" He was grinning as he said that. "I also like it when you started using my first name.." His runs a gentle finger over your lips before leaning down and connecting his in a slow kiss.

His hands trailed down your back just caressing at your skin, as you both let the kiss become more and more passionate. You pulled away before anything to steamy could happen, instead you peppered his face with kisses. He laughed as you trailed pecks from his forehead to both his cheeks to even his nose.

"Want to play hooky today?" you grinned as you gave his lips one last quick kiss. He blinked before grinning "Why (Y/n), you're such a rebel~" he snickered "Sure, but why?"

You sighed before humming "I free you make me feel."

"Again there's that thought that you're not free at home.." He leans over pushing your wrists above your head placing a knee between your legs. "I wont let you go home..I care about you..and i don't want you to get hurt."

Normally in a situation like this people would be panicking or flustered but you can't help the smile that forms on your face. "I want to..stay here with you.." Those creamy hazel eyes widen in confusion "..You wont let me go home, but what if i don't want to?"

Without waiting another second Dazai attacks your lips in a vicious kiss. His hands are no longer holding yours down as they wrap around your body. Your own return the gesture as you feel both of your bodies press against each other. "Finally you wont leave me?" he questions between hot needy kisses. "n-no.." you start as you hiss out a moan when his hands trail around your body touching everywhere. "b-but, i do plan to go home to pack up some of my stuff.."

He sucks at your neck for a few seconds before easing off of you, letting your breathing slowly return back to normal. You turn your eyes to look at him and he smiles softly, gently and wholeheartedly. No one would ever be able to guess at first glass that this angelic expression hid a much darker side of him.

"Welcome to your new home (Y/n)."

"Thank you, Osamu"

He suddenly jumps off the bed and starts getting dressed. "I'm taking you out for the day, we're playing hooky after all and now its a celebration." You grin sitting up "I don't have a change of cloths but i can put the undergarments back on, and wear something of yours, if you don't mind?"

"I'm going to buy you some new cloths while we're out as well."

You gasp "You don't have to do that?"

"Is that a question?"

"If its free its for me~" you chuckle putting your panties and bra back on.

After Dazai finds some cloths for you to wear, he takes you out to get breakfast. You enjoy a romantic meal with your brown haired lover. You even become a couple stereotype and feed each other, its like you've turned into one of those cheesy romcom movies.

Then Dazai takes you on a slow walk through the park. Its not the same one as his confession, but its a beautiful park none the less. Gorgeous flowers are growing everywhere, a play ground is in the distance, there are even a few different statues decorating various areas.

Dazai holds your hand as you both enjoy the serenity of the park. You don't even have to talk when you're around him, just being together is peaceful. Well...when he's not trying to do more than hold your hand.

After the park he takes you to a cafe wear your enjoy delicious coffee and tasty cute treats. He even pokes your nose with some of the whip cream from his dessert and watches with a grin how flustered you get when he licks it off.

Being with him is like a dream come true. You don't know a lot about his past and there is a strong desire you have to ask him about it, but at the same time you feel its not completely necessary. You love the current Dazai, the one right in front of you.

You also think its the same for him. He feel in love with a legend, a collection of stories about you. However, what he really loved was seeing you in front of his eyes. This beautiful girl right before him, the one that made his heart pound, and hands shake with a fervent desire to be with her..was none other than you.

Eventually you ended up at a boutique where Dazai bought you whatever your heart desired. Be it cloths, perfume, make-up, or jewelry. If you saw something you liked he proclaimed all you need do is ask. "Sugar daddy." You snickered to him as he carried the few things you actually got.

"That's right call me Daddy." He grinned handsomely "I'll always make my baby girl happy."

You groaned as a heavy blush decorated your face, but you were hiding a smile as you turned away.

After shopping you told him you should return to his place and just watch a movie. He agreed only if he could pick the movies, you laughed and said that it was fine with you. He'd been absolutely wonderful throughout the day, a more romantic boyfriend than you could of ever asked for. Now all you wished was to enjoy something simple and repay his warm kindness by perhaps making him dinner and cuddling on the couch.

You spent the next several hours watching Horror movies. You didn't mind so much, horror was one of your favorite genres but Dazai seemed disappointed by how much you didn't really cling to him. So you started pretending you were scared; holding his hand and snuggling up to him. You heart raced with how happy he got every time he could be your night in shining armor. Instead of dinner you delightfully enjoyed mixture of popcorn, M&m's, pretzels, and maybe an indulgent drizzle of chocolate. It was the perfect diabetes mess to end a amazing day with.

Suddenly Dazai's doorbell goes off. You look at him with a curious head tilt "Expecting someone?" You murmur watching him shake his head. Standing up from the couch both of you head to the door hand in hand. You look through the peephole and smile brightly thrusting the door open "Chu-"

"(Y/N)!? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm jus-"

"Why did you skip school today?"

"I decided to play hooky.."

"HAH?" He basically screams into your face. Making you frown softly at how angry he seems.

"You wanted to spend time with Dazai that bad?"

"I like to be with him but that's not the only reason.."

He glares past you, as he rants about how bad of a person Dazai is. How he's clearly taking advantage of you. How he doesn't have any idea how to care about someone.

Every time you try to respond he interrupts with a new reason you should hate Dazai.

That sinking feeling in your stomach comes back even more nauseating then before. Chuuya seems so out of it as he rants at you, like there is a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Chuuya please let me-"

"I Knew you didn't want to be around me anymore but don't be with Dazai just to get away from me."

Something inside you snaps, you can't hear whatever else he's saying. Your heart thumps loudly, your hands are bawled so hard your knuckles are completely white. Your face is staring at the ground.

"(Y/n) are you okay?" Dazai questions, trying to place his hand on your shoulder.

"Leaver her alone Dazai, she's coming with me." The moment he tries to take your hand you shove him hard. He stumbles backwards nearly falling over and that's when your face looks up.

Tears are streaming from both of your eyes none-stop.


His hand tries to reach for you again but you shoved him to the side, ran to the railing right outside Dazai's apartment and jumped over it.

Dazai and Chuuya both screamed your name but you just ran. You ran and ran, and ran. You had no shoes on but it didn't matter. You heart racked against your rib cage so violently in your chest you thought you might be having a panic attack.

Suddenly you were screaming. You screamed in complete and utter anguish. People you passed by were completely startled but no one cared enough to try and stop you.

"Why...! I THOUGHT...HE OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD..." Your voice trailed off as you started sobbing, the clouds inside your mind heavier than anything you'd ever felt before.


Chuuya stared in the direction you ran completely dumb founded.

"You are really stupid, Chuuya."

In one quick movement he had pulled out his knife and slammed Dazai into the wall pressing it dangerously against his neck. "What the fuck did you do to her?"

"I loved her, that's all i did. You, however, completely broke her heart."

Chuuya gritted his teeth as the hand that held the knife pressed further into his neck cutting his former partner enough to draw blood.

"She didn't pick me, she fucking choose you."

"She choose both of us."

Dazai in a flash had disarmed Chuuya and threw his knife over the railing. "What were the words she used..lets see 'Dazai you're my boyfriend but Chuuya will always be my Mad Hatter'."

Chuuya's ocean blue eyes widen as his slams his fist against the wall creating a dent. "(Y/n)..I...She..."

"It was never just me, no matter how much i want it to be."

Dazai turns and calmly starts down the stairs. "O-oi Dazai?! Where are you going?"

"To find the girl i love obviously."

"You know where she went?"

"I Have an idea."

Chuuya scrambles behind Dazai as they head off to find you.

Eventually your screaming died down but your small whimpers and sobs could still be heard. You felt betrayed. You really thought the person who had been by your side throughout this fucked up wonderland would understand.

Your mind replayed everything over and over. What could you have done differently to stop this from happening? Had you really ignored Chuuya? No. You really didn't think so. Being with Dazai never changed how happy you genuinely were when you spent time with Chuuya. He didn't seem to think the same though.

It had been at least an hour of aimless walking as your eyes exhausted all the tears they could muster. You were thinking more clearly but still felt like your heart had a crack in it.

Staring down at the all to familiar river your brain replayed all your memories with your favorite fancy hat wearing Mad Hatter. Yes, you had ended up at the same place as the day before. The place where you meet Chuuya and subsequently the place were you both would often meet up. This place was so special to you..but was is special to him?


"Dazai I thought you said you knew where she was?" Chuuya hissed angrily gritting his teeth.

"Well I said i had an idea." Dazai was still rather calm, it appeared he hardly ever got anxious about anything. His outer appearance didn't reflect what he was feeling on the inside though. He was worried about you. He wanted to stab Chuuya multiple times. He wanted to scream your name till you came to his arms and gave him a warm hug.

However, he couldn't show all those emotions on the outside, Specially not with Chuuya by his side.

Dazai made his way to the river bank were he found you the day before. Chuuya had upset you and this is were you went, he could only assume it was special to you both, and in all likelihood you would come here again.

"This is..the park were i meet (Y/n).." Chuuya reminisces, with a frown.

Dazai nods to himself he was right. "I found her here the day before, crying." Chuuya stops in his tracks feeling his heart sink. "S-she..was crying here yesterday?" Dazai simply nods and watching the orange haired males face contort into a torturous look of disdain. He knew it was his fault, when he brushed you off outside the office, he had recognized that he was being harsh but he couldn't stop himself.

Chuuya's eyes drift up and there by the riverside staring into the you.

He starts to call out but Dazai clamps a hand over his mouth "Shh, i don't want you to cause her to scamper off again.." Chuuya's eyes hold a frosty glare but he shuts his mouth as Dazai pulls his hand away. "What do you expect me to do then?" he whisper hisses furrowing his brows in annoyance.

Just as Dazai is about to respond he stops when he suddenly hears..singing? His eyes travel over to your figure, low and behold you are enunciating softly. Your words are passionate and your voice is delicate and beautiful.

Chuuya has taken several steps in your direction without Dazai stopping him. His heart thumps with the soft sway of your voice. You sounded hurt, and sad in a beautiful melancholic type way. "Rabbit..." he whispers as something he would never admit happens, a tear sliding down the edge of his cheeks.

When you stop singing you stare back down into the river as your own fresh tears form in your eyes "Is this it for wonderland..?"

"Don't say that Rabbit.."

You instinctively flinch at the sound of a voice that's not your own. You slowly turn around and when Chuuya see's your face its like the weight of everything he's done to you comes crashing down on him.

Your face was tear stained, your eyes were red and puffy as they appeared glossy from the tears that threatened to start falling again. Your hair was disheveled, your looked tired and defeated.

He held up his hands as he edged closer to you "Don't run Rabbit, although i know you're good at hopping around." He gave you a tight lipped smile, and felt relief when your lips slide up in its own small smile.

Once he was squarely in front of you he slowly eased into conversation. "I'm sorry.." He knew he had to say that first and foremost, "I've been a real asshole.."

"An incredibly short asshole!" Dazai shouts, causing you to look over to him and stifle a small chuckle. Chuuya lets Dazai's comment slide as he scratches the back of his head "I've been really jealous of all the time you spend with bandages over there." He gestures acutely with his thumb "For a long time it was just me and you.." he stumbles with his words unsure how to talk about his feelings. "I..didn't want anyone to take you from me."

"Oh Chuuya.." you wrap your arms around him burring your face against his shoulder. "Please..try to understand no ones taking me from you.." His hands immediately shoot around your figure holding you as close to him as possible. "I think I Understand that now..Dazai told me you said I'd always be your mad hatter.." You lift your head enough to look at Dazai "Oh did he?" Your brown haired boyfriend shrugs with a faint smirk on his face and you can't help but smile.

"yeah..I thought i understood you'd always be my Rabbit, but then..I just.." You can feel his hands trembling on your back and you look at Dazai pleadingly.

"(Y/n) I'll see you at home." He smiles gently at you before turning and walking away. A flood of relief runs through your system that he understood what you wanted.

"Chuuya I love you so much." and that's when he sinks to the ground bringing you with him as he clings tightly. You know this gangster dummy is probably trying his best to not cry and you smile gently as you rub his back. You whisper words of encouragement telling him everything's going to be okay.

It take sometime to calm him down and in the process you turn into the one who starts crying. His way of cheering you up is certainly different from Dazai's but he makes you happy none the less. After awhile you are just making fun of each other and that's when you know everything between you will be okay.

"I thought gangsters don't cry?" You snicker pinching his cheeks playfully.

He smirks grabbing both of your cheeks and pulling them "Well if the Mafia hears about how much of a cry baby you are they might just kick you out."

This goes back and forth for sometime as all the tension deflates into just playful poking and taunting. You both never really fought like this before. You can't even really call it a fight? In the end both of you just desperately wanted to remain friends, and just weren't communicating properly.

You flip his hat off his head and put it on yours grinning widely. "By the way, i decided to move out of my moms house."

He raises a brow a smirk forming on his lips "Moving in with bandages?" you giggle nodding. "I know how your mom is, does Dazai?" You sigh, and he understands. "This could get really bad ya know?"

"I think if you two are around when i tell her, and you both stay with me as i will deter her at least a little bit."

"I'm fine with that but if she tries to hurt you in front of me i might kill her."

You smile leaning your head on his shoulder "Fine by me." He smirks leaning his cheek down onto your head. "I never told Dazai what happens or 'used' to happen at my house but he knows its not a place i like to go back to."

"He's always been perceptive." Chuuya clicks his tongue in annoyance and you chuckle.

"What if she calls the police? Not saying I'm afraid of them but it will turn into a scene."

You lift you head causing him to stir as well "Actually I had an idea about that." You grin and he seems to be on the same wavelength. "I can set it up, one of our people are high level in the police force as you know, but it will take some time. Wont be ready till tomorrow at least."

"That's fine, believe it or not I miss school.." you laugh when he gives you a stupid face that says 'school sucks why would you miss it?'. "You know I like Neko-sensei and Ranpo-sensei, besides you.." you poke his nose "..and Osamu...and cough my other friends cough.." you giggle "..So i enjoy being there most of the time."

"Your kitty cat is going to be sad when he finds out he's low on the food chain of friendship." You snort loudly and he just snickers triumphantly.

"...Anyway! I want to go to school tomorrow and then after classes I'm hoping everything will be set up."

He snatches his hat off your head and stands up "Alright, I'm going to get the ball rolling tonight." He flicks your forehead with a grin on his face, and you pout but soon there's a smile on your face. "Thanks Mad Hatter."

He looks at you and then away and then back with a sigh. You tilt your head curiously "Something wrong?"

"No...So listen.." He rubs his head frustratingly "I never done this before so.." He has this faint tint of a blush on his cheeks as he leans down and kisses your forehead. "If that was weird..tough luck.." He turns and walks away quickly leaving you with a bright smile on your face.

"Looks like this adventure through wonderland isn't over."

You turn and start walking home. Never before have you ever been so happy.

I still have my Mad Hatter.

I have the most loving boy friend in the world.

What could go wrong tomorrow?


It looks like the wondrous adventures through wonderland wont be over any time soon!

What will happen when your mother finds out you'd like to move out? What's the plan Chuuya and You are concocting?

Find out in the next chapter!

If you like this story be sure to tell me about it and I will work hard to keep updating this story at regular intervals.

Don't forget to leave them sweet sweet kudos as well lovelies!! <3

Chapter Text

After parting with Chuuya you made your way back to your home. It wasn't official just yet, you needed to tell your waste of space mother you were never coming back and there was nothing she could do. Then it would be official.

Pulling out the key Dazai had given you just a few days after dating, you smiled down at it fondly. He'd given it to you and assured you, you could come and go as you pleased. "My house is your house." he said and remembering his sweet words make a tingle of blush warm your cheeks.

Opening the door you eased in and locked it behind you. You noticed that the house was almost completely void of light except for the blue-ish gleam from the TV. Walking around the corner just as you excepted there on the couch was Dazai. He was breathing gently as his chest eased slowly up and down, on his stomach was the remote to the TV.

Giggling softly you gently walked over to his side and moved the remote to the table. Smiling at his serene face, you couldn't help but slowly pet a hand through his hair, watching how he seemed to enjoy your touch.

Getting an idea you softly padded to the bedroom and changed into a set of some cute pjs Dazai had picked out for you.

When you came back Dazai had shifted only slightly his arm was laying next to him and his other arm was behind his head. Gently you slide yourself on top of him and laid your head against his chest. One of your hands grabbed his and interlocked your fingers. Smiling gently your eyes soon closed and you could feel yourself drifting to sleep.

Suddenly a hand wraps around your lower back holding you warmly.

"Good night, Princess." Smiling you slide your face up to look at him, as soon as you do he leans down giving your forehead a soft kiss.

"Good Night Osamu."


The next morning you wake up to..a soft hand caressing your butt. You can't help but giggle with a small blush "Dammit Osamu...can't you ever wake me up a normal way?"

He chuckles before cupping both of your cheeks in the palm of his hand. "Sorry, Your ass just fits so perfectly in my hand."

You look up at his face, shaking your head at the grin plastered on the corners of his lips "I'd prefer a morning kiss to a morning grope.." you shyly smile as you edge your fingers up into his hair pulling him down for a kiss. He gladly returns this soft maneuver moving both of his hands around your back before sitting up with you in his lap.

"You came back in a good mood so i assume everything with your midget is settled?"

Snorting you grab onto both of his cheeks squishing and pulling them "MY Mad Hatter.." You emphasize " of normal height and yes we talked for a long time..and everything is back to normal.." smiling softly you rest your head on Dazai's shoulder.

"Good." he places a finger under your chin tilting you up slowly as he connects his lips in another tender kiss.

"we should get ready for school." Dazai grins picking you up, watching you blink slowly wondering why he seems so happy only to blush profusely as he closes his bedroom door saying "I'd be happy to help you change your cloths~."


Dazai was true to his statement. His soft yet slightly calloused hands touched you everywhere as he took off your cloths and helped you change into your school uniform.

You blush looking at him out of the corner of your eye, this handsome man just loved to tease you. He turns and smirks playfully, bringing your intertwined hands to his lips kissing the back of your palm "Whats the matter, Love?"

You huff looking away but there's a ghost of a smile on your lips.

Turning back you smile widely noting the familiar tresses of your sunset orange haired bestie leaning against the wall close to the entrance of school. "Mad Hatter!" You call out to him as Dazai lets go of your hand knowing you're going to go throw yourself at him.

As predicted you wrap your arms around Chuuya hugging him tightly "Good morning~" you grin against his shoulder.

"Morning Rabbit, are you trying to suffocate me?" He laughs when you puff out your cheeks as you release him.

"I'll hug you every damn day if i feel like it." You grunt loudly as you can't help the smirk forming on your face.

"No PDA at school." says a very bored sounding Akutagawa as he comes over and holds his hand out to you. "Homework, (Y/n)."

You blink before laughing loudly "I wasn't even here yesterday!" you protest through small fits of laughter as tears form in your eyes.

"Yeah i know but I'm talking about the work sheet that they gave us last week that we had a week to do." He coughs lightly into his palm.

"You had a week to do the work and still did nothing?" Dazai snickers sliding over wrapping an arm around your waist giving Aku a very smug smirk.

"Nobody asked you Dazai-san." He turns away his black coat swaying as he starts to walk. You sigh pulling away from Dazai, "Wait up a second Aku-kun." He pauses, giving you a moment to catch up and hand him the paper he wanted telling him to give it back to you outside of class later. He glances at you before nodding briefly, walking away.

You walk back and Dazai slinks his arms back around you. "You should get him to do his own work (Y/n), he's not learning anything at this point." Such a statement making you hum in thought "Well As far as I'm concerned, if he finds something he wants to learn he will, everything else is just cluttered information no one wants to retain."

"How Astute Rabbit." Chuuya snickers easing of the wall hands loosely in his pockets. "By the way, its not ready yet. I'm waiting for one last domino to fall into place." You grin nodding, watching your brown eyed lover blink curiously. "What are you planning (y/n)?"

"Oh nothing~ You'll see later~" You smirk as he feints being hurt before tickling you "Tell me~ Or else~" You start laughing and pulling at his hands "I-its a secret Osamu~" He tickles you a few more secs before turning you around to kiss you. "Fine then keep your secrets, but.." He leans down and whispers where only you can hear "I'm going to punish you later~"

Your heart thumps as a soft blush adorns your cheeks. "This is to much for my eyes, I'm leaving Rabbit." You turn quickly but Dazai's hands loop around you keeping you in place "W-wait.." you laugh "Okay, okay fine I'll see you later Chuuya." He smiles at you before leaving.

Dazai leans you into the wall as soon as Chuuya was out of site, a blush warms your cheeks as he leaned into your frame "Going to tell me your secret now?" Your lips curve up mischievously shaking your head. "Oh? Little minx." He slides a hand down your hip teasingly slow "Then i will definitely have to punish you later."

You gulped as he eased off of you grabbing your hand leading you into school. He smiled at you so kindly it made you instantly forget about his 'punishment'.

School was normal. Atsushi was happy you came to school he thought you might be sick. When you asked why he didn't call, he said he figured you needed your rest if you weren't coming.

"I just played hooky." You sheepishly murmured watching as he practically feel over. "I worried for no reason." He sighed and you smiled. He really was probably your kindest friend. He wore the weight of the world on his shoulders as he tried to care about everyone and everything equally.

Rest of the school day went by pretty quick. Kunikida-sensei made extra effort to stop you before you left his class to give you yesterdays homework and made you promise to turn it in the next day. Ranpo-sensei already knew why you hadn't come to school so he spent his class period teasing you about living with Dazai, calling you a married couple.

You and Dazai grinned at each other as you walked out of school. "Whats so funny Rabbit?" Chuuya was waiting for you at the gate.

"Ranpo-sensei called Osamu and I, a married couple." you grinned madly as Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Dammit even your teachers are against me." You loop your free hand around his elbow "Nah, we're not against you, my lovely Mad Hatter~. I can't help the PDA though..So you'll have to learn to live with that."

He sighs, understanding by now that you were really in love. Chuuya still hated Dazai to a certain extent though, and you didn't mind as long as..he understood that the both of you were special in your eyes.

"By the way is it set up?"

Chuuya holds up the 'ok' symbol with his hand making you grin delightfully. "Great, lets hope everything goes according to plan."

Dazai glanced down at you, he still doesn't quite know what your plan was but he had an idea since you kept making sure Chuuya had set it up.

You take a shaky breath as you stop in front of the door to your house. Dazai and Chuuya share a look before they each take one of your hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. "Its going to be okay." Dazai assures you with a smile. "we wont let anything happen." Nods Chuuya agreeing in a small subtle way with his former partner..

Feeling safe with both of your princes you smile at them. "Ah, this is making my heart pound..."

"You say that but you brought down an organization of drug traffickers, Snuck into a security building to download information, and just last week you broke some guys hand cause the information they provided was a lie."

You snort looking away with a small grin "That was easy compared to this. I can't solve this with just violence."

"My lady is rather scary." Comments Dazai with a smug grin plastered on his handsome face. Taking a look out of the comer of your eye, you smile softly.

No one..Especially not these two will judge me for ever being..a person with a bit darker personality. In fact that darkness is what drew them. Like months to a flame my darkness fed their appetites.

Putting a hand on the door handle, you nod to them before opening the door and stepping inside.

"I'm home." You call rather softly. Edging into the living room you hear something fall over and there stands with a scowl on her face..Your mother.

"Its about time, I really gave you way to much freedom." She comes over and just as she's about to grab you, making you flinch as you wait unexpectedly for the pain.

But it doesn't come. When you open your eyes her had is being held by Dazai..who has a smile on his face but his body language makes you gulp down a shaky breath.

"Good afternoon, I'm Dazai Osamu." Your mom blinks at him as she retracts her hand, forcing a polite smile "Ara~ (Y/n), you didn't say you were bringing friends over."

"Osamu is my boyfriend, mother." You loop your hand around his elbow leaning on him with a smile.

Her face slips into a frown before she forces herself to smile "I'm sure you're aware (Y/n) that you are just in high school and should be focusing on your studies." She takes a step forward "If Dazai-kun understands, I'm sure you both can wait to date till after college."

"After college?!" You gasp frowning deeply before shaking your head. "I'm not going to break up with Osamu, just because you want me to."

Dazai smiles grabbing your hand interlocking your fingers.

You watch as your mothers eyes twitch, her facade becoming hard to keep up. "(Y/n), don't you care about you future at all?"

"If its a future without Dazai and.." You loop a hand around your Mad Hatter "..Chuuya its not a future worth living in."

She glares at you before shoving Dazai aside, slapping you across the face hard enough to leave a big red print. You hiss nearly falling over but Chuuya presses a hand against your back keeping you upright.

"Who do you think you're talking to! I'm your damn mother!"

You return the glare she'd given you rubbing your puffy cheek. Chuuya grits his teeth before stepping in front of you popping his knuckles. "I thought, I taught you a lesson all those months ago to not hurt my Rabbit."

He unsheeths his dagger from his coat pocket pointing it at your mother a murderous gleam in his intense azure eyes. "If i have to cut you up and feed you to the fucking fishes, i will."

Real fear flashes through your mothers eyes as she steps back sharply. "I-i'm going to c-call the police, both you and you.." she points to Chuuya and Dazai.."..Get out of my house..!!"

"I'm not going anywhere.." Chuuya hisses taking a slow menacing step forward.

"(Y/n), are you okay?" Leans down Dazai as he runs a soft hand over your cheek before pecking right between your eyes in a very tender motion. You smile at him grateful as a soft giggle escapes your lips. "I'm fine, Mad Hatter lets get to the main point."

He stops his advances with a huff. "Mother, I'm moving out." you declare as you eye her with scorn and contempt.

"HAH?" she starts laughing hysterically "Moving out? Your a child you can't live on your own."

"I'm not asking for permission." You shrug as you turn around "I just came here today to pack up my things."

Your mother darts forward but both Dazai and Chuuya step in her way. "Touch (Y/n) again and I'll show you what the afterlife looks like." Dazai's eyes are a foggy mauve color as he threatens your mother with a sinister smile on his face.

She gulps loudly looking at him. "I'm c-calling the police!"

"Thats going to cause a lot of issues..." You frown shacking your head "But i don't care..i made up my mind."

"Rabbit, the police are going to complicate things..what should we do..?"

"I don't know.." You glance at your mother before turning around "Lets just start packing..maybe we will think of something .."

You sigh loudly as you start up the stairs.

"Yes, I'd like to report some dangerous trespassing hoodlums in my house.." You hear your mom on the phone with the police.

Dazai and Chuuya follow you up the stairs and once you are all in the room you close and lock it. Turning you grin deviously at Chuuya whom returns your look with his own toothy smirk.
"You should of been an actress, rabbit~."

"No one would guess your so gangster Mad Hatter, you acted so scared of the police~." He groans looking away and you chuckle.

"I think I get the gist of your plan (Y/n)." Grins a bright eyed Dazai as he loops a hand around your hip. Smiling you lean into him "Osamu you're so perceptive."

"Anyway..." Starts Chuuya trying to stop all the oncoming affection he might have to witness "..Start packing, and just remember what you want to say once the police get here." Nodding you find your suitcase and an old backpack, handing the later to Dazai telling him to shove everything in your dresser in the bag while you pack the suitcase.

About an hour goes by, you thought it was so cute how Dazai meandered around your room for the first 15mins. He seemed so curious about all your posters, books, and the few pictures you had around the room. You weren't bothered when he started going through the dressers and looking through all your books.

Chuuya helped you fold your cloths despite his manly aptitude he was surprisingly neat and did it with precision.

After that hour you were mostly packed. There were only a few shirts and pants left to fold but your suitcase was already over stuffed and if you wanted to bring the clothing that was left you were just going to have to put them in a grocery bag or something.

Chuuya had been standing by the window for the past few mins. As expected when he leans off the wall and strides to your side "There here, should be knocking at the door any moment."

You take a deep breath. You can hear the padding of feet as they rise up the stairs before a flurry of knocks comes to your door. "Miss, can you please open the door." You smirk recognizing the voice, as you share a glance with both Dazai and Chuuya.

Forcing yourself to frown, you slowly open the door. "Yes sir, can i help you?"

The officer smiles softly "Well it is in my understanding that, there are some dangerous people in this house?"

You widen your eyes before looking behind you "Did you guys see someone dangerous when we got here?" You can see Dazai fighting a smirk but he manages to look as confused as you before shaking his head.

"We haven't been here but like an hour, we just came to help our friend pack." Motions Chuuya as he strides over to your side crossing his arms over his chest.

"I see, ma'am.." the officer turns around to face your mom "Where are the dangerous people you told the dispatcher on the phone?"

She points past you, and he follows her gesture "These 2 young men are your daughters friends right, I think you might be confused."

Your mother groans "Officer they threatened my with a knife, I'd like you to arrest them."

You gasp looking afraid "My friends didn't do anything like that, why would you lie like that..mother?" You turn to Chuuya grabbing onto him as you force yourself to tremble.

"Ma'am I can't arrest them without proof of a crime."

"Search them, you'll find the weapon!"

The officer turns back to your mom "Ma'am i don't have probable cause to search these kids. From what I can see they are not dangerous." He motions his hands "You do not appear hurt either, so there is no proof."

Your mother looks exasperated, you've turned back a confused look plastered on your face. "Mom, is this cause I'm moving out?" You question softly.

"Officer! She is trying to run away from home!"

You shake your head "Officer I'm not running away, I'm merely moving out"

"How old are you miss?"

"16, sir."

"That is rather young but there's nothing illegal about it."

Your mother gasps her face starting to contort in anger "Officer doesn't she need to be 18 to move out? I'm her mother doesn't she need to be an adult?"

The officer turns and with rather serious face says "Ma'am as long as she is able to provide for herself, such as if she has a job and a place to stay, you are unable to stop her from leaving.

Your mother is gripping her fists tightly, the pure look of anger in her eyes threatening to spill out. An expression that screams how she wants to throttle, hurt, and make you scream and beg for forgiveness

You never told anyone but she enjoyed hurting you. Most people thought it was just because you disobeyed her it was a form of punishment and most of the time it was. However,she enjoyed making you cry, cover you in bruises and watching you bleed.

"(Y/n) I think we're almost done packing." Says Dazai coming over to grab your hand pulling you away from the door frame to wrap around you. You smile up at him "Thanks Osamu, I think i just need to fold a few more cloths and then we can go."

"(Y/N)!" screams your mother moving past the officer but Chuuya is quick to cut her off glaring at her threateningly. She pauses returning his glare "(Y/n) I can see the only reason you want to leave is cause you think you're in love." You turn around in Dazai's arms giving her a calm stare. "You probably just started dating, you think he loves you so much, but guys only want one thing. Once he gets it he's going to abandon you."

Sighing loudly, you expected her to reason like that. Turning you against Dazai is her only last chance of getting you to stay.

"Mother, if Dazai ever abandoned me it would be a cold day in hell."

Dazai grins widely as his hands slide down your hips before leaning down giving you a soft kiss on your cheek. "Ah~ (Y/n), you are so amazing~" Giggling lightly you lean back into his chest.

"If there is no real problem, Ma'am I must get going." Calls the officer as he shifts starting for the stairs.

"w-wait officer! There is nothing you can do!?"

"This doesn't sound like a problem for the police Ma'am."

"My own daughter can disrespect me, bring her hooligan friends into my home, threaten me, and run away and there isn't a single damn thing i can do?!"

Your face distorts into a deep scowl before forcing yourself to remain calm an empathic look glued to your facial features.

The officer sighs turning back "I know its a mothers duty to care about her children but sometimes baby birds need to leave the nest, your daughter appears to have a sound mind, and is capable of making good choices for herself.


"Ma'am. As I've said legally you cannot force her to stay."

"Done folding the rest of your clothes, Rabbit." Motions Chuuya handing you a bag with the few things that were left in your closet.

"Thank you, Mad hatter." You grin at him "Now i suppose we should take our leave."

"Miss (Y/n), If you would like i can give you a ride to your destination. Its dark out and your bags look heavy. You kids need to be safe out there. I hear there is a notorious gang causing many a problems lately."

Your lips have the hardest time not just grinning widely, but manage to only softly smile at the officer, "Thank you, I'd be most grateful."

Picking up the last of your things, you carefully pull the bag of clothes over your shoulder. Chuuya is pulling your large bulky suitcase, while Dazai shifts your backpack over his shoulder.

The moment you start walking passed your mother she grabs your shoulder. "(Y/n), think about this more clearly."

"I've thought about it for years, it couldn't get more clearer." You spoke softly so only she could hear you, the officer was already down the stairs waiting at the door while Dazai and Chuuya were walking behind you.

Her grip tightens and you turn to face her "Don't be stupid right now mother, you've always about how.." You lean closer to her eyes darkening "Abusive you can be, but there is a cop in our house and my friends are watching..Do anything to harm me and you'll regret it."

She flinches at your tone and the atmosphere that leaks from your 2 friends as she glances up to find them glaring spitefully. Her hand loosens before completely letting you go. Smiling you thank her before turning back around and walking carefully down the stairs.

"(Y/n), I'll meet you outside in a second I'd like to assure your mom I'll take care of you." He smiles at you before tossing your backpack to Chuuya who frantically grabs it before it hits the ground. "Oi, bastard! You could of handed it to me." He huffs before leading you both out of the house.

Once Dazai and your mother are alone he turns to her with a serene smile. "(Y/n) is an amazing girl, and i just wanted to think you for giving birth to the girl of my dreams."

Your mother scoffs "I know, you don't love her. Once she realizes all you want is sex, she will come back. She'll beg me to let her back in."

Slamming his fist on the wall hard but yet not a single sound is made he leans dangerously close to your mom smiling "I'd kill you if i thought it would make her happy." Fear flashes through your mothers eyes before she gulps and tries her best to smirk.

"How long have you known my daughter?" From the smug look on her face she thinks you've known each other maybe a few weeks tops.

"2 years."

She frowns instantly "You're lying.." she hisses with disbelief laced eyes.

Laughing Dazai smiles "Its not exactly a lie." She tilts her face clearly confused. "Oh we've only been dating a few months though." He smiles fondly at the memories.

"i-i knew it..She'll be back in a week, you'll have crushed her heart. And I'll get to crush her spirit for ever defying me."

In one quick movement there is a switchblade pressed against her neck, closer inspection reveals it to be brown and was yours.

Icy listless eyes stare at her with incredible blood lust, "I'm going to make sure (Y/n) is the happiest girl in the world, and i hope you die so she doesn't ever have see you again."

Trembling tears form in her eyes your mom tries to say something but her lips are quivering so bad she can't form any words.

Dazai pulls away putting your knife back in his pocket leaving your mom shacking like a leaf as she slides to the floor.

Everyone was laughing their asses off in the car as soon as Dazai had gotten in.

"Tachihara you were great!" you laughed delightfully slapping him on the back. He snorted rubbing his shoulder "Your mom seemed like a total bitch, want me to send someone to kill her?"

You blinked before laughing again "Nah that's okay, I feel like we dealt with this the proper way."

Dazai leans into your shoulder closing his eyes. He hadn't said a single word since he left your mothers house. You figured she had said some nasty things to him, and wondered if he in return had harmed her in anyway.

You glanced at everyone in the car, you knew that all 3 of them would kill her for you if you asked. Kill her themselves or send someone to do it for them. Death in the mafia was common, and you, yourself have given orders for people under your command to kill as well.

You, however, hadn't killed anyone. You would bring people close to the edge of death but would refuse to bring them over the line. You weren't a kind person. That wasn't it. You just got the feeling Death wasn't necessary to get your point across. In some respects you appeared more cruel then those who would mercifully grant someone death.

The police car stopped right outside Dazai's apartment. "Osamu~" you giggled tilting his head up to kiss his forehead. "We made it home~"

He groaned before lifting his head, smiling down at you before capturing your lips in a quick kiss. You blinked shyly at the sudden lip lock but returned it nonetheless.

"This really is your home now." He helped you out the car with a grand smile on his face. You nodded, take the deepest most refreshing breath of air in your entire lifetime.

Thats right this is my home now.

Tears started to form in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away before turning and cupping your hands around your mouth, screaming as loud as you could:


Chuuya started laughing loudly as you bounced around happily. He wrapped his arms around you as soon as you bobbed close enough to him. "If i knew you'd be this happy to be away from you moms house, I'd of forced you to live with me." You grin against his chest wrapping your arms around him. "Thank you, my lovely Mad Hatter."

"Miss Black, I need to return to my post before the department gets suspicious." You pulled away reluctantly from Chuuya's death grip of a hug. "Thanks Tachihara, I owe you a favor after this." you grin to him and he smirks back. "A favor from the temptress Miss Black? I'll be sure to use that offer wisely."

You snort but soon you're waving him off as he drives away. Chuuya and Dazai are carrying your bags as you unlock the door to your new home.

"its good to be home."


Dun dun dun! Free at last!

Tachihara is indeed a member of the port mafia in this au world. Why does he call you Miss Black? You'll have to keep reading to find out!

If you liked this chapter I'd appreciate some feed back, and I'll do my best to keep updating regularly!

Don't forget to leave them sweet sweet kudos~! <3

Chapter Text


After putting away your bags and suitcase in Dazai and your bedroom, Chuuya declared that tonight was a good night for some fine wine.

"I'll be back in like 10mins" He left saying he wouldn't be gone to long and if he came back and You were asleep he'd give you an ice bath full of wine.

You snickered to yourself as you walked around the living room of your new home, stopping when you came to the all to familiar bookshelf.

Dazai came over and looped his arms around your waist, leaning his head on top of yours. "You left all your books behind, was that okay?" You lean back into his chest "Its fine, most of my books I already read."

"A good book is good no mater how many times you read it though."

"Its really fine." You turn in his grasp laying your head on his chest. He smiles edging his hand down your back caressing it gently. "I'll just read your books." you lift your head grinning. "Although you books are kind of weird."

"That's not very nice (Y/n).." he grins before lifting up your legs to wrap around his waist as he presses you against the bookshelf. Blushing a soft pink he edges his lips down before you're caught in a slow kiss.

Its not lost of you how Passionate yet soft and delicate Dazai could be. His hands hold you gently but his body presses against yours roughly. His kisses are addicting, as one turns into many. Wrapping your arms around his neck you can feel his fingers edging under your shirt.

Just as he's about to grace the fabric of your bra..several knocks echo throughout the house.

Giggling against his lips you pull away "Chuuya's back."

"Your midgets cock blocking skills are over 9,000." He tsks looking slightly annoyed as he sighs. More giggles slip past your lips as you lean down and kiss his nose "Lets go let him in before he picks the lock on your door."

Dazai gives you a sexy smirk before giving you one last kiss as he lowered your legs back to the ground. "To be continued." He assures you as you scamper to the door with a soft blush on your cheeks.

After letting Chuuya in, all three of you spent the next few hours drinking some very elegant wine.

"Chuuuyaa~" You slurred as you just finished your 5th glass. "This wine is sooo fabulous~" You grabbed his hat and skipped out of his reach when he tried to grab it back.

"Rabbit, I"m starting to think i should of just bought sparkling cider or something else.." he grumbles as he slinks over to you. You giggle hopping around carefully remaining just an inch out of reach every time he tried to grab for you.

Dazai was drinking his 3rd glass, while he watched with a smirk plastered on his face at just how frustrated Chuuya was getting. "Going through hat withdraw?" he teased with a chuckle sipping his wine again.

Glaring Chuuya turned back to you, and blinked you were standing still staring out the window. "Rabbit, already tired of hoping around?" He smirked edging over to your side.

"8months ago.." you start slowly causing Chuuya and Dazai to become curious "..You found me in the park after i avoided your 10 phones calls.."

Chuuya frowns he knows where this is going.

" always seemed to be able to find me, even if sometimes i never wanted you too.." your eyes become glossy from the hazy memory "..I had all those bruises..and you knew who'd caused them.."

"Then I went to your bitch of a mother and made it clear if she ever hurt you again, i wouldn't hesitate to kill her." He wraps his arms around you from behind burring his face in your hair giving you a tight hug.

Smiling your grab his hands "I had a knight for a long time, i should of let you save me..but i was stubborn.." you turn around and motion for Dazai to come closer and he doesn't hesitate. "I'm..glad i waited though, I found someone to love.." your eyes start to droop as Dazai pulls you into his chest a faint yawn escaping your lips. "..Thank you for loving me.." Dazai tilts your chin up giving you a small kiss before he picks you up and sits down with you on the couch.

"You don't have to thank me..I get to love you, that's already thanks enough." You smile as you nuzzle into his chest "8 months ago Chuuya brought me wine just like today, it wasn't the same but he did everything to make me happy then, and now you both are doing it today."

"'re such a sappy drunk.." sighs Chuuya as he sits on the other side of you. You giggle lightly before yawning again, using one of your hands to rub your eyes.

"Someone's sleepy.." grins Dazai as he pets a hand through your hair, "Want me to bring you to bed?"

"I'm not.." you yawn lightly again "..Sleepy.." you groan pouting ever so cutely. "Betrayed by my own body!"

Dazai laughs picking you up "alrighty missy, to bed you go."

You kick lightly reaching for Chuuya "Mad Hatter, thanks for everything." He grabs your hand but only for a second as Dazai carries you to the bedroom.

Dazai leans you against the door once he closes it, you blush body feeling hotter than normal. His lips sway in front of you but he doesn't lean down to kiss you, he only leans down to lock the door.

He smiles gently as he eases you on the bed, and leans over you trailing his hand down your cheek. Your skin tingles from the contact..Being drunk must heighten all your more sensitive nerves.

"Want me to help you change your cloths again?" He smirks his hand lifting your shirt ever so slightly. The heat seeping from your body makes it hard to focus, but you manage a shy nod.

His hands are delicate as they slowly pull off your shirt and pants..and you expect him to take off everything else but..he surprises you when he doesn't. He takes out one of the nightgowns you'd gotten the day before, and eases it over your body. His hands trail gently against your skin but he doesn't do anything more.

Dazai notices you giving him a confused stare and grins "Do you want me to touch you?"

Your hands shoot up to cover your face "I..i..wouldn't mind it.." you mumble between your fingers.

He pets your head and you lower your hands "I'd love to touch you sweet princess, but you're drunk and even a drunk yes isn't really consent."

Your eyes widen as they threaten to tear up. This man..he didn't want to take advantage of your altered state of mind. Yes you'd been drinking but you felt like you were thinking clearly albeit your senses being sent into over drive. He was right though, you were drunk.

"'re amazing.." You wrap your arms around him hugging him tight. His hands slide down your back before he pulls up the blankets to cover you both up. "Thanks, my Love~"

Smiling you snuggle closely to him using his chest as a pillow enjoying the warmth radiating from his body.

"Good Night Romeo"

"Good Night My Lovely Juliet"


The next morning your eyes flutter open to stare down at Dazai's soft sleeping face. For a minute your heart races from the closeness but you relax when he breaths gently. His sleeping expression was so cute, you laid back on the pillow and just observed him with a smile.

After a few minutes there is a soft knock on your bedroom door. You looked at Dazai making sure he wasn't awake yet before slowly and carefully getting off the bed. Walking over to the door you eased it open, and smiled when your azure eyed hatter stared back at you.

"Oh thank god your not naked." He sighed in relief and you blushed profusely, shoving him. "H-hey! We were just sleeping.."

He laughs, before smirking "I bet you've already done it." You hiss out some nonsensical words and he chuckles "It's fine if you have, i know i can't stop it." He pokes your forehead "..I still feel like i want to protect you from him but I'm learning."

"T-thanks Mad Hatter.." you smile at him softly. He really was amazing. I want to protect him too. I hope he knows he can rely on me to help him.

"You're welcome Rabbit, I just came to tell you I'm leaving. No school today so I'll be at the warehouse all day." You nod, before remembering something. "By the way, I asked someone to look into a girl named Lucy Montgomery. Have you heard anything?"

"Nope, doesn't sound familiar. Boss ask you to look into her?"

"No, I just got this feeling about her."

"That's bad, your 'feelings' are usually ominous."

You snort "I'm just covering all my bases, she seems a bit off and i wanted to cheek something."

"I'll let you know if, I find anything on her. Stop by later as well, you never know when they'll have a job for you."

"I plan too, don't get to lonely without me." You snicker as he rolls his eyes, but you can see the grin on his face as he turns to try and hide it.

You walk with him to the front door and see him off. Making sure to close and lock the door behind him. Giggling softly as you make your way back to bed, hoping Dazai was still asleep. You grin mischievously, you were totally going to jump on him if he was.

Edging the door open slowly you enter, and notice right away that there is no Dazai in bed. You blink a few times tilting your head "Osamu?" You question curiously.

"Right here." His voice hazes right next to your ear, and as soon as you hear him you practically jump out of your skin. He snickers at your reaction before wrapping his arms around you.

"Is Senor Midget gone?"

Grabbing his cheeks you pull at them giggling "Yes, Chuuya is gone, i didn't think he'd actually stay the night. I was rather surprised."

"I told him, he could stay. I figured you wouldn't want him to leave after drinking." He shrugs when you stare at him wide eyed.

A smile forms on your lips as you edge your fingers up into his hair before pulling him down for a sweet kiss. His hands hook around your back, pressing you into him.

"Thank you." You kiss his cheek and he chuckles " No problem, Princess."

He leans back against the wall bringing you with him "Since there is no school today, what shall we do?"

You hum resting your head against his chest "I'm not sure, maybe we could go see a movie today." You giggle "Something scary so I have an excuse to hold your hand~"

Dazai grins "sounds good to me, how about a shower first?" You smile liking the idea of a hot shower. "That would be great."

He pulls you into the bathroom and turns on the shower, when its the right temperature he starts to pull off his cloths. You blush heavily "W-what are you doing?" you half stutter wondering if you should look away or not.

"Getting ready to take a shower.." He pulls the bottom of your nightgown over your head and you make no motion to stop him as he tosses it on the ground "..with my love". Your heart rate picks up as his eyes look you over shapely womanly frame, as you stand there in your bra and panties.

He pulls you forward, his hands trail down your back unsnapping your bra, pulling it off letting it joins your other cloths on the floor. Lastly his hands trail down your hips hooking into the edge of your panties as he gently pulls them down, delighting in the slow gentle way you step gingerly out of them.

You body feels like its on fire as he looks you up and down before turning away. "Y-you can get in the shower first.." He seems surprisingly embarrassed given his usual confident attitude.

You nod to him before scampering timidly inside, being so shy was unlike you but honestly Dazai would be your first boyfriend and lover. The moment the warm water hits, you try your best not to moan. You felt so turned on it was hard to describe. You really wanted him to touch you, and you really wanted to touch him as well. However, all these strong desires were new to you.

You're eased out of your thoughts as your handsome boyfriend opens the shower door and edges inside. You blush at his almost completely naked figure but even the ribbons of bandages shaping his body give him this breathtaking image. Which as you admiring his muscles, strong physique, and even his sizable manhood.

His eyes dart everywhere that is not your body. You can see the blush on his cheeks, and wonder if you're blushing that badly as well.

You smile gently grabbing his hand "its okay..I-i'm embarrassed too but.." You gulp down a deep breath, "Please look at me.."

His soft brown eyes slowly tilt up looking into your own before admiring your body. Dazai can't take it anymore as he presses you against the wall, pushing your hands above your head purposefully attacking your lips feverishly and devouring every flavorful gasp of his name that hazes from your perfectly pink appendages..

Eventually his hands let go of yours to trail down your soft wet body. You moan with clear needy desire when his hand cups your breasts, giving both a sensually enticing squeeze. His lips trail down your jawline, before sucking at your neck. The moans that leave your mouth are music to his ears and fuel his desire to make you feel good.

Your body feels so overstimulated. The warm water of the shower, mixed in with his hot touches threaten to make you cum almost on the spot.

His lips trail down your neck to your chest, where his tongue loops around your bud, before sucking on it roughly. "Ah, Osamu..your kisses f-feel so nice~" You moan sharply arching your back, pushing your breasts more into him. You can feel his warm red lips smirking against your skin.

Soft fingers trail down your stomach before pressing against your clit. "O-osamu.." You pant his name edging your own against the back of his head gliding into his milky chocolate wet tresses. His index finger slips past your slit curling up and down before starting a fast rhythm, that has your body swaying intimately into his movement.

"Ah~ Oh god~" You pant out several breathy moans, as your hands cling to him. Your body rocks gently feeling his teeth nibble around your breasts leading to more desperate moans escaping your lips. It's so hard not admit you like the way he makes you feel, specially since it's him who is pleasuring you and for the most part is always gentle and tender in his touch.

Slowly you realize that its always him who touches you, and you barely get to touch him. So while his fingers curl inside your warmth, and even though you are a moaning edge your fingers down his stomach caressing his soft yet rough muscles.

When he feels your fingers he pulls himself up, looking into your eyes with a smirk before capturing your lips. This time you take initiative and slip your tongue into his mouth wrapping it around his. He groans the soft syllables in your name, obviously liking the way your slippery wet muscle feels.

Your fingers edge lower and lower till they grace his member, giving him a few slow heart thundering pumps. At first he's caught completely off guard and tries to pull away from you but you push his lips back against yours.

"(Y/n)..You don't have to.." he groans against your lips, his fingers movements becoming slow with his growing pleasure. You can feel his hips slowly thrusting up to meet your hand even though he said you didn't have to.

Grinning your hand starts to pump faster "I want too. Let me make you feel good my dear Osamu~." He grins quickly turning into a moan against your neck before sucking on it. His fingers start thrusting again, and you can feel a contest of who can make who cum first starting.

Your fingers completely envelop his member, picking up pace as you pump faster and faster. The haze of his pants warm your skin, mixing in with the sensation of him throbbing in your hand. "(Y/n).." He groans deciding to work his fingers to curl upward circling around the tight warmth of your cunt aggressively.

"Ah~..Ah~..Ah~.." You know you're close but you really want to make him cum first or at least at the same time.

After more fast pumping from the both of you, and lots of hot kisses not just on the lips but all over your neck and shoulders, You feel him tense up before he releases his sticky cum on your hand. And at the same time you groan out his name as your own juices slide down your inner thighs.

Both of you pant heavily, the warm water of the shower is actually very soothing and you find your heart beat returning to normal as quickly as it started to beat irregularly.

Dazai kisses all over your face, and you giggle. "Osamu, I love you so much." He pauses for a minute, before wrapping both of his hands around your hips, leaning down to kiss your lips softly.

"I love you more (Y/n)."

You smile thoughtfully, oh how those brown eyes seemed to stare into your soul not just your heart. He was rather amazing and even if you didn't want to fall into his pace, it was impossible.

You were rather smitten, head over heels in love, and were of the opinion life without Dazai would tear you apart.

The rest of the shower went by quickly as you both helped the other thoroughly apply soap and wash the suds away. You had to admit even though you were both initially embarrassed, that the intimate act of washing each other was done so gently, that it felt completely natural. There wasn't a single part of your body that you would not let him touch.

Scampering out of the shower with soft giggles, Dazai smiles as he wraps a fluffy brown towel around your wet body helping you dry off. "Bend down" You motion to him and he does so, you give him a quick kiss before wrapping another towel around his head trying to dry his hair off.

"Thanks, love~" he hums from underneath the warm towel. Smiling you lift the towel enough to reveal his lips and capture them again. Dazai smirks against your lips before turning you both around, lifting you up gently placing you on the counter before he starts a hot and heavy make-out session.

This kissing session goes on for some time before, you both decide to actually put clothes back on.

You both decided to see a recently released horror movie, like previously discussed. Holding on to his hand and giggling when it got scary, he would smile handsomely looking at you from the corner of his eye subtly enjoying just being in your presence.

Sadly enough after the movie was over you told him you were going to be gone for a few hours so you could check on things with the port mafia. He whined and wrapped his arms around your hips, complaining that you shouldn't leave him all by his lonesome.

"I'll be back before it gets to late.." you laughed as you pushed at his face trying to dislodge yourself from his grip.

"Noo~" he whined again "Stay with me~"

More whining from him had you promising that you'd make it up to him later, even offering to make dinner for him and that's finally when he let you go although he still wasn't very happy.

Kissing him one last time turned into a very public make-out session, People walking by were blushing messes, and started whispering about this being a scene in a movie or something. Every time you tried to pull away he brought your lips back to meet his.

Finally when he was out of breath and so were you, he let you go with a smirk on his face, as you stared hazily with kiss swollen lips.

"See you later at home, my love.." He leaned forward to kiss your forehead "Stay safe." You returned his kiss with one to his cheek.

"I'm going to be fine." you assured him "See you at home, Romeo"

You both smirked at each other one last time before parting ways. In the back of your mind you wondered just how long, you could stay in the Port Mafia. Dazai clearly wanted you to leave, he wanted you to be safe and he knew more than anyone how dangerous it could be.

"The Port Mafia feels like..that's who I am though."


Boom sweet smexy shower time, didn't actually turn into smex.

SEE I HAVE 'SOME' CHILL, but not a lot and i Digress.

If you liked this chapter, i would love to hear your opinions about it and I will do my best to keep updating regularly.

Don't forget them sweet sweet delicious kudos <3

Chapter Text

After approaching the door to the Port Mafia's warehouse you knocked several times, till the person behind the door mumbled "Code name?" You sighed before "Black13, you know its me this door before i huff and puff and blow it down." You grinned.

You heard a snort from behind the door before it was pulled open. "Miss Black welcome back, Nakahara is in the file room." Her face held a knowing grin, as she gestured for you to come inside.

"You know me all to well." You laughed as you quickly said your goodbyes to her and went to find Chuuya.

When you located him he was buried in vanilla folders and looking rather frustrated. Grinning you edged over to him and leaned on his shoulder, "Mad Hatter, what are you up to?" He sighed heavily flicking your forehead and laughing when you huffed at him in mock protest.

"I'm organizing information from that smuggling operation we busted up last week, there are so many reports my head is spinning.."

"Want some help with that?"

"I'd love to make you do 80% of the work but Akutagawa and Higuchi are waiting for you."

You blink tilting your head to the side, "Aku and Higuchi? What do they want?" He shrugs and you hum in thought. "Guess I'll go find them." Picking up one of his files you ruffle the papers mixing them up before scampering away with a grin. You heard something hit the back of the door as soon as you closed it, and him calling to you "I"ll get you later rabbit!"

Scampering down the hall with a grin you began your search for your friend and his subordinate. After about 30mins with no sign of them, you were about to give up and go back and just mess with Chuuya when your phone beeped.

Tachihara: Miss Black come to the weapons arsenal.

(Y/n): On my way.

Pocketing your phone you turned down the opposite hall, went out the back of the warehouse and made your way to the building behind it. After punching in your code, you swished the door open and edged inside.

You were meet with 2 people pointing guns at you. Raising a brow you opened your mouth only to have Tachihara interrupt "Guns down stooges, Miss Black could drop you before you pulled the trigger anyway.."

Lips curling into a delighted grin, you walked over to him as his people lowered their guns. "With such a warm welcome..I take it some of our weapons are missing?"

"Astute as always, We are missing 5 sub-machine guns, 2 Dragunov snipers, and an assortment of pistols."

You nod thumb resting on your chin, that kind of firepower wouldn't be misplaced easily. "You sure those guns weren't just checked out? The log might not be accurate.'

"I thought about that too, but there's security footage missing from last night from 11pm-2am."

"Was the door forced open..? No the door looks fine and the pin pad looks the same. Whose code was used?"

Tachihara looks from you to the empty space of the guns, "Akutagawa's" He holds up his hand when your about to start yelling "Hold your outburst, I Know you want to say it wasn't him and I'm already working under the assumption it has nothing to do with him."

You exhale deeply, tapping your finger under your chin. I wonder if this is why Aku wanted to meet up? He's probably investigating this on his own right now and probably wanted my help.

"I thought I'd call in that favor you owe me, this has to be done by midnight, and I'm already at a loss. I've been working on this since early this morning."

"Midnight..that's in like 3 hours?" You frown sighing "And here i thought it was cause we were friends.." Looking around the room you wonder why more weapons weren't taken. Once in the armory they had free rain to take whatever they wanted. "Why by midnight?"

Tachihara shrugs his shoulders scratching his cheek, "Beats me but the Boss told me, if it wasn't done by midnight..he'd be very disappointed."

You scoff that meant someone would be dead or seriously scarred for life if it wasn't done. Switching all your focus to this assignment, you had him tell you everything he already knew. After his explanation you started your investigation together.

"Show me all the video footage from before the missing parts." He walked you to and through it saying he hadn't seen anything in particular that would help, but an unknown face wasn't what you were looking for. You went all the way back to the last time Aku entered this building.

"Time stamp is from 2 days ago, he was alone." Your bite on your thumb.

"You thought maybe the person he last came with used his code and double crossed him?"

"It was a thought.." you grin getting up and walking out the armory, Tachihara trailing behind you. "Where are you going Miss Black?"

"I figured you checked this camera.." you point to one on the side of the building, "But i want to check this camera." You walk over to a differen't camera on the opposite building, its not even facing anywhere near the armory.

"This one isn't even.."

"I Know just trust me."

He nods procuring the video feed so you both can start scanning it. Nothing note worthy appears blatantly on the footage but you make sure to go back 2 days ago when Aku lasted visited the Armory.

"I Don't see anything Miss black, we have less than an hour we need to move on."

"Wait, zoom in on this window right here." And he does, the image is a bit granny but with a few alternations the window becomes clearer. "Did you see someone from inside the building?"

"No, that's not what we're looking for." As the video plays back you wait for the time stamp to match with Aku's. After Aku leaves the building, there is still nothing out of the ordinary till..the reflection in the glass catches the side profile of a man with short silver hair.

"Got you." You grin recognizing the man, "I know him but i can't remember his name..Print that picture and come with me."

Moments later you're opening the file room door and sitting down with Chuuya, picking up files looking through them then dismissing them.

"Oi, Rabbit what the hell? Messing with my files again?"

"I'm not messing with them I'm checking them." You show him the reflection of the guy on the window and he blinks. "Isn't that.." You nod and he pushes a pile of folders to the floor throwing a file at you. "He's in there."

Flipping the file open you scan it and smirk. "I thought so, Thanks Mad Hatter." You plant a soft kiss on his cheek before getting up taking the file and leaving. You left him a slight blushing tsuntsun mess.

"Miss Black, this guys is from that smuggling group?"

"Yeah, His name is Hanamaki Ryou. I also know why he's framing Aku, and I might have an idea where he is but we need to get to the boss first."

"We haven't caught him yet, its almost midnight."

"Its because its almost midnight we need to see him."

He looks skeptical but finds himself just following your lead, as you request to speak to Ougai Mori, Port Mafia Boss.

"Ah, Miss black. How nice to see you. Since you're with Tachihara-kun I assume you were helping him with the assignment i gave him." Mori smiles at you but you can see the threatening air practically seeping of him.

"I was, and here this is the person who broke into the Armory." You hand him the file and his eyes scan it, going through all the information provided before nodding.

"I see, Akutagawa-kun injured this mans lover leaving her unable to walk, and that's why he's trying to frame him, and have the mafia kill him for betrayal."

You nod, "(Y/n)-san, although i believe you are correct you haven't brought the man responsible back and its after midnight, what am I to do about that?"

Calmly taking a breath you step forward "I say you wait patiently like the reasonable man you are, this man will be brought here shortly or killed and in all likelihood our guns should be retrieved."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because i believe Aku is looking for him, he knows were this man is likely to be just like I do. So I ask you to wait and let him take care of it."

Mori hums thinking it over before nodding, "I see, I'll believe you (Y/n)-san. Akutagawa-kun has always been reliable. I will give him the latitude to take care of this."

"Thank you, Boss." You smile softly at him before excusing yourself.

"Oh one more thing before you leave." You wave Tachihara off and let him leave first, "I hear you and Dazai-kun are living together?"

"We are, if you're going to ask me to ask him to join us again.."

"No, no, its not that although with both of you our association would be on top." He smiles before edging his eyes open to pierce through your own. "..I wanted to hope that you wouldn't leave us anytime soon."

The thumping of your heart picks up, this conversation was inevitable at some point. "I don't know what I'm going to do but for the moment I don't plan on leaving."

"Wonderful, if you're ever unhappy here I hope you would let me know."

You nod to him before bowing lightly and leaving. Outside the door you let out a breath you were holding in. Damn he really knows how to lay on the pressure, you think as your feet pick up to rejoin Chuuya in the file room.

"Sounds like a hell of a few hours, Rabbit." He chuckles.

"I know.." You groan laying your head on the table. "I guess I Should go home, Osamu might be wondering whats taking to long."

"Bandages knows how long jobs here can take, he knows you might not be able to return when he expects you too." Chuuya shrugs as your eyes blink at him curiously. "Jobs done, so i guess I'll see you later Mad Hatter."

"Good night, Rabbit." He hugs you lightly before pushing your butt with his foot, "Now get out of here, I still have to organize this bullshit."

"Fineee~" you laugh leaving him with a final good night before scampering out of the warehouse.

When you're finally back at home, you ease in wondering if Dazai is still awake. Tossing your shoes off your socks slide against the floor, as you lean into the living room. There he is again, sleeping on the couch but this time he's not laying on it he's sitting up right with his head tilted back.

Its almost as if he tried his best to wait up for you but was just to tired and thus his sleeping position. Stepping over you sit down next to him slowly and lay your head on his shoulder, you wrap one of your arms around his and close your eyes.

"Don't think I'm going to let you sleep just yet (Y/n)~"

You giggle without opening your eyes, "Want me to make you a late dinner?", you hum lips curving up into a smile as you wonder if he has eaten yet.

"I want you to be my dinner."

Your eyes flutter open heart rate picking up, just as he pushes your shoulders till you're laying down on the couch.

"Osamu.." you murmur right before he presses his lips to yours, giving you a slow kiss. His hands slowly roam around your body, applying enough pressure to let you know every spot his fingers touch.

His lips trail slowly down your cheek kissing lightly at your neck before pulling away and sitting up. He smirks at your blushing and confused expression, "That was for not making me dinner like you promised."

You blink a few times before laughing softly, "That was so rude Osamu." You sit up before you get an idea, easing yourself into his lap your fingers trail against his cheek "How can i make it up to you?" You whisper leaning down grazing your lips against his softly before fully pressing against his.

His hand wraps around your back as your tongue slides into his mouth softly exploring it. Before he can get to into it, you pull away and scamper to the bedroom. "Pay back's a bitch!~" You call giggling.

Dazai blinks completely surprised before grinning handsomely, "Come back here! You little Vixen!~" He chases you all around the apartment, every time he catches you a soft kiss his shared between you before you scamper away again and again..

Finally Dazai catches you by pinning you to the bed, so there is no escape now. He pants and you pant, smiling face tingling from giggling so much.

"You caught me, I give up.."

"Whats my prize?"

"I am.." you blush with a small shy smile, as your hands rest against the bed.

"That's a good prize.." He smiles leaning down to kiss your neck tenderly and suck on it, leaving you a love bite. One of his hands caress your hip before edging both down to your legs spreading them apart, placing himself between.

His lips trail up to your ear nibbling on it eliciting a soft moan from you. "(Y/n)..How far can I go? Can I make love to you?".

Your (e/c) eyes widen looking up into his soft brown pools, unable to believe he still asks for permission at this point. Smiling you place a hand on his cheek before leaning up to kiss him. "Of course Osamu, you're so still ask for my permission."

"A Guy shouldn't assume their girlfriend will always want to have sex with them.." His hands trail around you body, tossing clothes every which way including his own.

His fingers knead at your soft breasts before capturing one of your buds in his mouth licking around the nub. You moan his name lowly closing your eyes relaxing against his touches. This man got more amazing every single day, he seemed like the perfect Romeo even though you knew beneath his smile and his bandages he hid scars.

His lips pepper soft pecks down your stomach, lifting up your thigh to kiss it gently as well. His tongue slides against your lower lips making you arch your back moaning the soft two syllables that comprise his name. "Looks like i get to eat you for dinner after all~"

Your eyes snap open only to shut tight and squeeze at the sheets bellow you when his tongue slithers inside your walls. "Ah~ Osamu d-don't say embarrassing things.." you whimper out a moan as he curls the slipper tip of his muscle back and forth. It was always mind jumbling how good of a lover he was, like maybe he had a lot of experience in the art of intercourse.

"Its true though, my tasty princess~" He grins at your adorable blush before going back to licking your most sensitive body part, enjoying the sweet nectar of your arousal. He even enjoyed the erotic aroma of your sex, but some things were better to keep to himself. He didn't wish to have you retreat from him completely if he wanted to tease you by being to naughty.

You could feel your heart thumping erratically in your chest as your moans start to get louder and more frequent. You can feel the familiar sensation of a knot forming, and just when you think its going to burst..he pulls away.

Grinning at your expression he licks his lips, "Not yet, my Love. I want us to cum together~" He position himself at your entrance and your hands instantly shoot up to wrap around him. "I love it when you cling to me.."

Your lips part to answer him but the only thing that leaves you mouth is a loud surprised moan when he thrusts forward. Your walls tighten around his member and he groans amidst his own divine pleasure. "(Y/n) you so much.."

Your lips press against his neck shakily, "I l-love you too, p-please you can move. I n-need you so bad.."

He grabs your hips and starts thrusting forward at a rough pace, only to moan desperately against them. With each thrust your body trembles more and your moans get louder.

His tongue slides around yours, and his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips but you don't care. You can't feel it, you can only feel the pleasure as heat pulsates off your body. Suddenly he changes your position, sliding you on top of him as he bounces you against his cock. Your voice trembles his name sliding of your tongue while your nails dig against his back.

"S-so deep.." You whimper throwing your head back.

"Being inside you is the best feeling ever.." He groans against the nap of your neck. You can feel how your walls throb around him, and how he hits you to your very core.

"O-osamu, I'm c-close..!"

"Me too, Love.."

His hands grab the bottom of your ass and bounce you against him faster and faster till he feels your walls pulsate around him, coating his member as he slides out shooting his seed on your thigh.

Your body falls limp as you pant loudly, breathing in deeply. He falls back on the bed bringing you with him as he snuggles against your cheek.

"I love you so much (Y/n), you are my princess."

"Then you are my prince, and my heart belongs to you completely."

He pushes your chin up with his fingers and places a soft kiss on your lips. Afterwards you snuggle into his chest and he wraps the blankets around you both. Your heads are not even laying on the pillows as you both lay sideways on the bed.

It doesn't matter though, holding Dazai close resting your head on his chest as your eyes ease closed, is more blissful than a simple pillow.

"Goodnight, My Prince."

His fingers tangle into your hair before sliding down your back. He presses his lips against your head and you murmur happily.

"Goodnight, Dear Princess."


Dazai is the perfect boyfriend <3 Ah, I love you!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will continue to work hard and update regularly!

Don't forget dem sweet sweet kudos my lovelies~!

Chapter Text


Days with Dazai were amazing. Living with the person you loved brought a tremendous amount joy to your life, that you were almost certain you never had the right too feel. The never ending emotional abuse from your mother had the back of your mind believing almost everything she said.

"You're pathetic."

"Why can't you get a perfect score? Stop wasting your life on useless things."

"Your father never wanted you."

"Don't think just obey."

Day in and day out, she would tell you these things so often that they sunk into your very skin.

It wasn't till you meet Chuuya and let your darkness shine did you start to feel confident with who you were. She dulled your senses to pain so getting hurt on a job for the mafia was nothing. Before long you were a calculating leader, who was capable of inspiring fear. Soon you had your own troops and were a valued member in the port mafia hierarchy, where even Mori Ougai boss of the organization himself valued your opinion and trusted you with certain tasks.

Chuuya used to say "Those eyes are the mirror to our wonderland, I feel like when I'm with you, I pass that boarder and You and I come out on the other side as different people."

It was no wonder he used to be your everything. He truly understood everything about you. You also knew a lot of his past as well. It was a wonderful thing that he trusted you with something so dark and murky.

He was taken in by a women who was well respected in the Mafia, after his parents tried to kill him. Dubbing him a monster and a freak of nature. You remember the way his eyes looked when he told you, the fire and loathing he felt for them.

It reminded you how you didn't think anything of the blood that connected you to your mother. "Blood is just blood" you had said to him and he nodded his head agreeing wholeheartedly to such a sentiment. Family is just a word, blood is just a liquid, and connections are made when you value the people whom are around you.

Chuuya was completely loyal to the Mafia, and even valued his subordinates to the extent he would kill anyone who harmed someone among his ranks. He even seemed to extend that thought to Dazai, who was his former partner. Of course you knew the hate he felt for him was real and even though you wondered why they hated each other so much, you never bothered asking. You got the sense it had something to do with how Dazai could easily abandon his duties the mafia he thought of as family.

Your thoughts were cut off when Dazai loops a hand around your waist and leaned over your shoulder. "(Y/n) Are you still washing the dishes?" His eyes trailed down to the sink with just a few dishes left in it.

"What do you think eagle eye?" You smirked as he playfully groaned into your ear. "Eh~ But i been waiting for you to finish for ages!~" He whined adorably running his nose along the side of your neck placing the softest of kisses.

Snorting you shoved his face with your slightly wet hand, "I been doing this for only 10mins Osamu.." He whines some more saying he missed you and wanted you to hurry up so you could cuddle and watch a movie together.

You smile softly, this was an everyday thing with him. Its been 6 months since you started living together and the love you felt for each other was stronger than ever. You spent nearly every second of every single day together but if you were gone for even just 10mins he got lonely and missed you terribly.

The simple nature of how truly lonely he was without you made it hard for you to do your missions for the port mafia. The thought of leaving him to suffer quietly alone almost made your heart break.

He kisses your neck softly, smiling when he hears your breath hitch. "O-osamu..come on..give me like 10 more mins and i should be done." He thin lips curve up kissing your neck again and again before finally edging away as slow as possible with a Cheshire-smile.

"Okay then, I'll be waiting~"

He scampers away leaving you flustered as all hell, and yet a smile is etched onto your lips. "I'll never get tired of this..I love him so much.." You go back to the dishes trying to finish up quickly.

Unbeknownst to you Dazai was leaning against the wall right outside the kitchen and he heard what you said. He smiles to himself petting a hand through his curly brown hair, and the other gripping tightly over his chest. "Me too, My Love." His whispered confession is like a soft mantra of his feelings that assures himself that as long as you're by his side he can keep the darkness inside at bay.

Wiping your hands on a wash cloth after finishing the last of the dishes you turn to head to the living room. As you're sitting down next to Dazai your phone rings, pulling it out its a number you don't recognize. You show it to Dazai who shrugs as well before pressing the accept button.


"(Y/n), Its been awhile." You freeze recognizing the voice a chill running down your spine. Even to this day she still inspired waves of fear inside your body and you found yourself scowling at your bodies learned chemistry. Dazai grabs your hand after noticing your subtle flinch mouthing 'are you okay?'. Nodding to him you press the speaker button.

"Mother, what can i do for you?"

"You don't sound very happy to hear from me, how can you be so rude to the person who gave birth to you?"

Your voice goes an octave lower as you squeeze Dazai's hand, "How could the person who gave birth to me leave so many painful ugly scars on my body?"

There's a heavy silence for several minutes. Dazai lifts up your hand and brings it to his lips kissing it softly. Such a tender sensation bring a smile to your lips before the your mother on the other line clears her throat awkwardly trying to dissuade how she's a terrible as fuck parent.

"Anyway..I called to see how you were doing? I hope you're not pregnant. Don't count on that guy to stay if you do."

You open your mouth but Dazai takes your phone holding it close to his mouth. He has a sickly sweet smile on his thin red lps, "Dearest mother in law, I implore you not to assume what I'd do when you don't know anything about me."

"Mother in law?" You chuckle shacking your head giggling delightfully, "We're not married.."

"Yet~" Dazai adds as he leans over to give you a quick kiss. A warm blush tickles the corners of your cheeks, the corner of your mind briefly imagining being married to this wonderful man. When a handsome grin quirks up onto his lips, you get the feeling he can easily tell whats on your mind.

"You really have her wrapped around your finger." Scoffs your Mom clearly she doesn't think you can think at all for yourself. "Its surprising enough that (Y/n) has been gone 6 months but you have warped her mind."


"She used to be so obedient but then it all changed almost 2 years ago, when that punk with orange hair stormed into my house and threatened me with a knife like a wild animal. I should of called the damn police."

"Never thought I'd be so proud of shorty." Dazai tuts with a grin.

You return his grin leaning into his shoulder, you'd already discussed the very day she's talking about before. Everything about that day was something you wanted to forget till Chuuya stormed into your house threw a knife at your mom barely missing her, and then proceeded to brandish another knife against her neck. Hissing that if you were to ever be harmed again..he would not hesitate to dismember her.

Shacking your head dismissing your gallant knight of a Mad Hatter, "Mom, Osamu and I are busy..if you don't have anything important to say, I'm going to hang up."

"W-wait (Y/n).." she clears her throat, "I called cause i was worried about you as your mother.."

"And?" you add eyeing your phone, while its still in Dazai's hand.

"And.." you hear a loud sigh like she doesn't even want to say the real reason she called. "..and your friend John came by looking for you."

You blink tilting your head before a smile forms on your lips, that doesn't escape Dazai's notice. "You mean John Steinbeck? My old best friend from grade school?"

"Yes thats the one. I invited him over for dinner tonight promising him you'd be here."
"Tell me his phone number and I'll meet him somewhere else."

"(Y/n) you don't have to be so rude, You can be nice enough to have dinner with your mother after abandoning me and running away with your bandaged psychopathic boyfriend."

"Thank you." smirks Dazai that has you giggling, before turning to him "What do you say Osamu, I'd love to introduce you to my old friend. Shall we have dinner together with him?"

"He's not invited!" Shouts your mom making you both flinch.

"If he can't come why should I go?"

"He's your friend (Y/n)! Don't you think you should catch up with him and not flaunt your diseased boyfriend?"

Frowning you start to protest but Dazai cuts you off, "Its okay (Y/n), I think you should go." You ask him if he's sure, he smiles leaning in to kiss your cheek. "I'm sure, I also think your mom knows what will happen if she tries to hurt you. So I'm not worried about that."

After discussing it a bit more with him, you end up deciding to go. She told you to be there around 7:30pm and dress nicely before hanging up.

"Can't believe its 6 years since I've seen or heard from him." You smile fondly as you Remanence. "He was my neighbor for most of my childhood, we were really good friends before he had to move away."

Dazai pulls you into his lap burring his face against the side of your neck as his hands circle around your waist holding you tight. You blink at his fluffy hair before chuckling softly, "Are you perhaps...Jealous my dear Osamu~?" He just squeezes you tighter in response.

Smiling softly you edge your fingers into his hair tilting his head up "You are the one I love, You're irreplaceable." You press your lips against his giving him a slow kiss whispering against his soft lips "John is my friend but are my life line.."

He deepens the kiss sliding his hand to the nape of your neck the other pressing against your back. His tongue circles around yours and you murmur gently against his lips getting lost in the warm and enamoring sway.

When you both pull away he smiles leaning his forehead against yours, "I Don't think you understand how much you mean to me."

"I could say the same."

He brings your hand to his lips kissing your palm before pressing it against his cheek leaning into it. "I hate it when you're not around." You fingers flex against his skin before leaning forward to kiss his cheek. Just as you pull away he presses your neck gently leaning his lips up to meet yours.

"This is why I don't want to leave you alone.." You finger twirls a piece of his hair, "Let me just call her back and tell her I don't want to go.."

Dazai pulls your phone from you after you take it out shacking his head, "No..its fine I told you to go. He's your friend and If he came to find you after so long..he must care about you."

Lifting yourself up you spread your legs over him, placing your hands on his shoulders leaning into him. "Are you sure Romeo?"

Dazai was internally screaming no of course he didn't want you to go, but he smiles placing his hands on your hips, "Of course, Dear Juliet." His hands press you down against his crotch and you blush, as his gorgeous brown eyes look into yours.

"I'm the only one who gets to love you in the most intimate way a couple can express themselves." You moan softly as his hands edge under your shirt caressing your stomach before pulling away to wrap around your back pulling you close so he can lay his head on your chest. " you (Y/n)."

You smile as you edge your hands threw his chocolate locks pressing him into you. "Thank you, Osamu." You bend down kissing the top of his head and he chuckles before pulling away.

"I suppose you should start getting ready, its almost time.."

" I guess, I should."

Sliding off his lap you go to the bedroom to change. Dazai, of course followed after you watching from the door frame. You giggled softly as you took off your cloths in front of him. You'd seen each other naked enough times to not really be embarrassed to show him your body anymore.

After you were just in your bra and panties, he slid over to you wrapping his arms around your frame kissing your shoulder. You felt colliding temperatures against your skin, warm from his soft and wanting touch and a shiver of delight that had you almost allowing him to do whatever he wanted. Almost.."Mh..Osamu we can't do this right now.."

"I know." He said but his hands still caressed your soft skin and his lips moved to your neck licking it gently.

After letting this go on for just a few seconds you pulled away from him, putting on the dress you had grabbed from the closest. He didn't stop you instead he commented on what a nice choice the dress was. Of course he knew already, he was the one who had bought it for you after all.

Picking up your phone, Dazai followed you to the door as you slipped on your shoes. "I should be back in 2 hours tops." he hummed in response as you stood offering him a smile. Leaning up you gave him a quick kiss before telling him to behave while you were gone.

"Don't count on it." He joked as you laughed making your way out of the house.

Even though you left sort of early, you had no intentions of going straight to your moms house. You were cautious about going there, what if this was a trap? What if John wasn't even going to be there?

You were in possession of a uniquely potent mind, and capable of developing the most strategic plans. Why not apply it to the mother who used to beat you senseless and leave you emotionally shattered?

After 30mins passed the time you were to arrive, you walked around your old house and looked into the windows trying to see if there was more than your mom in the house. From what you could see, she was making dinner and there were 3 places set. She was the only one in there at the moment though.

Frowning you made you way back to the front of your house and stared at the door wondering what you should do. Suddenly someone taps you on the shoulder and you turn around with lightning speed only to blink several times in utter surprise. That blond hair, those blue eyes.."Johnny?"

His lips tilt up into a smile before he wraps his hands around you. "(Y/n)-chama~ I thought it was you, you were the only one who called me by that cute nickname." You giggle hugging him back as you both note how the other has changed quite a bit since you were children.

"Its been 6 years Johnny, How did you enjoy the countryside?"

"It was lovely, you know how i loved the tree's in my backyard. Well we moved to a place that has this gorgeous apple orchard across from our new house."

You smile as he excitedly talks about his new home and when you ask him what brings him back to the city, a weird smile edges onto his face before pointing to you. "I missed my old best friend."

"Whats the other reason?"

He hums tilting his head "Still able to read people like a book I see. That used to be my favorite quality you had." He pats your head and that's when the door to your house opens and your mother puts on her best polite voice telling you both to come on in. "Dinner's almost ready, I hope you both are hungry."

You and John share a smile before he follows behind you into your old house. Dinner is pretty much ready, as you both sit down next to each other. Seems your mom went all out preparing (Fav dish), you had to admit it smelt really good.

John tells you how his younger siblings are doing. "My little sister misses you too, Ruthie would be delighted if you wrote her a letter." You smile softly she used to follow you and John around like a puppy. She even started dressing like you cause she looked up to you so much.

"Sure, If you wouldn't mind giving me your address. I'll write to her when i have some down time."

He smiles jotting it down for you before the food is placed down on the table in front of you. "Give it a minute to cool, I don't want you to burn your tongues." She smiles at you and you can't help but scoff.

When ever your mom talks to John she plays it off like you still live here. She even speaks for you about school and making good grades, like she used to tell the neighbors. He looks at you every so often and you try to smile and pretend everything's okay but you're almost certain he can tell something is off.

When everyone is almost done with dinner John glances at you before taking a slow breath. "So (Y/n)..your mother says schools going well but how have you fared when it comes to relationships?"

You open your mouth stories about Dazai on the tip of your tongue but your mother interrupts. "She doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment, studying takes a lot of time but if she started dating a boy like you John, i wouldn't mind at all"

He smiles softly scratching his cheek sheepishly looking at you but you've already turned away. This has a small frown forming on his face, he can tell that you are uncomfortable being here for some reason.

After dinners over, your Mom suggest you both watch a movie with her best sweet little smile. You can tell she just wants to keep you here as long as possible, maybe make you reconsider moving away.

"I actually have somewhere to be, so Johnny I'd be happy to walk you down the street."

"Oh? Where are you going so late (Y/n)? Don't you think you should stay home with your mom its pretty late."

You frown at her, before turning away and walking to the door. John walks behind you, so when you open the door and turn back to your mom. "You know where I'm going. Thanks for dinner, when I'm actually allowed to eat it has always been good." She gasps like she has no idea what you're talking about, but you aren't about to put up a charade just so she can safe face and immediately turn walking out the door

With that last remark, you and John make your way down the street. Its silent for a good few minutes before he slowly asks "So (Y/n)-chama, i sensed some tension back there. Are you okay?" His hand slides into your own giving it a squeeze to let you know he's here for you.

You send him a small smile, "Actually Johnny...I don't live with her anymore." His eyebrows rise in surprise asking you where you live now.

Smiling fondly you admit the truth that's been running through your head since your mother lied to him. "I actually live with my boyfriend. She told you i didn't have one but we've been together 9 months. I've lived with him for about 6 of those."

He blinks both of his soft blue eyes surprise written all over his face. "So you do have a boyfriend? and you live with him?" You nod your head in the affirmative and he sighs stepping towards you.

"So I lost my chance?" You blink as he backs you into a nearby wall.

"I been thinking about you a lot lately.." He places a hand on your cheek, "I had such a huge crush on you when we were kids." Your cheeks warm with a pink blush smiling softly at the nice memories you had with him before shacking your head somberly. "I'm sorry Johnny, but I'm taken."

He smiles kindly before trapping you between him and the wall behind you. You frown not liking this situation. "(Y/n), you haven't been dating that other guy very could give me a chance see if there is spark between us" He caresses your hair reminding you that you've known each other for so long, and that he'd definitely treat you right.

Shacking your head you push his chest trying to get him to back up a little, "I'm sorry but the only spark i feel is for him, I love the amazing man waiting for me at home with all my heart."

The smile on his face drops as he edges a hand against the back of your head tugging you towards him, wrapping his hands around your back hugging you tight with a sense of desperation in the thumping beat of his heart "Please..please give me a chance...If i hadn't moved away I would of asked you to be my girlfriend years ago."

"John.." You whisper softly as your mind replays all the fun memories you had with him. You wouldn't phrase what you felt for him back then as a crush, but you certainly liked playing with him.

Then your mind instantly goes to Dazai. What you felt for him, even though the feelings were fast to develop it felt natural. He was worth everything you could ever offer to one person. The emotion you felt for him was much like how one feels when basking in the sun. Warm, Tingly, and a serenity of peace.

Shacking your head once again you push away from him. "I can't, I'm sorry he just means so much to me."

John frowns before forcing your chin towards him, "I think i know a way to change your mind." He leans his lips down and instantly you shove him as harshly as you can. Your back slams against the wall behind you making you wince, as you watch John lose his balance but he manages to keep himself upright.
"Johnny..I said no, this is starting to get out of hand."

He sighs before smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, I just like you a lot..and I know the one you should be with is me.." he grins making you yelp out his name in surprise as both of your hands are shoved above your head, while he slides a knee between your legs to keep you pinned against the wall. You scream at him to let you go and struggle against him but he's gotten a lot stronger than he used to be when you were kids.

Leaning down once again his lips get dangerously close to yours before he's suddenly shoved to the ground, landing with a loud grunt. Your hands fall to the side nearly making you topple to the ground but soft calloused hands steady you.

"Osamu.." you pant overjoyed to see him as you wrap your hands around his slender frame, and hug him as tight as possible. He assures you everything is okay, rubbing a soft hand against the middle of your back and kissing the top of your head..

"I'm glad i decided to come see what was taking so long."

"Me too.." you chuckle softly.

"I knew this was going to happen."

"You did not.." You huff puffing out your cheeks and giving his own a pouty pinch. He smiles kissing your lips enjoying your warmth. "Okay maybe not exactly this, your friend took my predictions to the extreme."

Dazai's eyes angle over to John who certainly looks like he wants to throttle someone. "Well Johnny..(Y/n) is my girlfriend and I'd like you to keep your grimy hands off of her."

The two boys stare each other down, you don't remember John being so threatening but the look in his eyes is full of a fire you didn't know he was capable of.

"(Y/n)..I know i made you happy when we were kids, so I'm not going to give up. I know I could make you happy again, I'd protect you and take care of you." He takes something out of his pocket and tosses it to you, opening the folded item you discover its a picture of you and him siting in one of the tree's in his back yard. Both of you are smiling so happily and holding hands. Your eyes drift to the bandage on your wrist and your eyes haze over with the dark true memory of that day.

"Mama i said I'm sorry!" You screamed tears falling from you tiny eyes as she grabbed your small hand and pressed it against the top of the hot stove burner. Your skin seared instantly swelling with a burn before she let you go. You whimpered and sobbed from the pain but she didn't care.

"I told you to not embarrass me in front of the neighbors and what do you do? You freaking tell them about that test you failed."

"M-mommy..I didn't fail i got 76 points.."

She shoves you and you cry out when you slam against the floor. "You could of done so much better, You should of gotten above 90. I should of known you weren't that smart." She berates you with words for a few more minutes before leaving you sobbing on the floor.

Sniffling you go into the living room and look out the window, that's when you see your friend John go to his mailbox and grab the mail. Seeing him makes you smile and you start to get up and go outside to talk to him but the welt on your arm is pretty big. Deciding to wrap it up with a bandage, you make sure it's tight and secure, afterwards you skip delightfully over to Johns backyard. Knowing perfectly well he's climbing his gorgeous apple tree.

He's happy to see you too. You laugh and play together, climbing his tree's and even playing tag. He always cheered you up. Even if he never knew what really went on at your house.

Dazai shakes you screaming your name his hands cup your cheeks wiping away the tears you didn't know you were shedding. "(Y/n)..why are you.." he looks at the picture taking it from you hands before frowning gritting his teeth. "What did she do to you?" He demands wrapping his hands around you.

"(Y/n)-chama..why are you crying..didn't I make you happy..?" His eyes shake as he balls his fist, confusion and fear mixing into his expression.

"You really did..even if you never knew what really went on at my house.." Your voice was barely above a whisper but John heard it. His eyes widen before "y-you..told me you got hurt helping your mom cook.." he shakes his head realization forming in his trembling fists. "She hurt you..?" He seems appalled as his eyes bulge widely, teeth sinking sharply into his bottom lip hard enough to draw a trickle of blood down his chin..

"I..want to go home Osamu.." You grab his hand, making him nod gladly turning you both away from John walking away.

John steps forward frowning "W-wait (Y/n), how long has it been happening?"

You stop in your tracks and Dazai whispers you don't have to tell him. However, you find yourself smiling softly to him as you turn and face John. "To long, I almost can't remember a time from my childhood when i didn't have to lie about the bruises. Till she got smarter and started leaving marks where no one could see."

John watches as Dazai loops his hands around you, softly coaxing you into smiling for him. He kisses you slowly and pets your hair, John can't help but admit you both seem to be genuinely in love.

Dazai's sharp eyes glare at the blonde with contempt, hating that he made you remember something terrible. Everyday you were with him he spent making sure you were always happy, and unless you wanted to..never had to remember the bad days with your mom.

"Lets go home, my Love." Dazai pulls you away and this time when John calls out to you he doesn't let you respond.

The walk home is quiet but you don't mind it so much. His warm hand intertwining with your fingers, and gentle soft breathing completely put you at ease.

"How long were you watching..dear Romeo?"

Dazai smirks to himself bringing your hand to his lips before he licks the back of your hand. The sound of your airy angelic laughter puts his mind at ease,"I came in on the part where he said he had a crush on you."

"So you were watching for some time." You hum leaning on his shoulder, holding his elbow tightly against your chest "I Hope i proved, you're the only one I want to be with."

He's silent as you both walk into your shared apartment. Once the door is closed he presses your hips till you are backed up against it. He looms over you making your cheeks warm when you see the sultry shade in his eyes. His lips ebb down sliding against your soft skin, placing a kiss or two against your neck and loving the way you cling to his body with an almost expectant arch of your frame into his own.

"Osamu..are you jealous he touched me?"

As if answering you his hand slides down between your legs caressing your inner thigh, before moving to your lips giving you a warm feather-like kiss making you moan quietly into his mouth.

"(Y/n), May I show your body that its mine?"



I hope you liked this chapter, I would love to hear from you guys and I will do my best to keep updating as regularly as possible.

Don't forget them succulent kudos hehe <3

Chapter Text


"If I said no, would that stop you?"

He smiles kissing your cheek softly before sliding his hands down to your hips pulling you forward to wrap your legs around his waist. You lean your body into his resting your head against his forehead.

"If you said no..Then i would just hope that you would let me hold and snuggle you." He rubs his cheek against yours causing you to giggle softly running your fingers through his soft wavy hair.

"Good thing, I Love you so much...that I would happily let you have my body."

"Oh?" His wonderful smile makes your heart soar, as his hands hold you securely before he walks with you to the bedroom. "You've gotten rather brave to say that."

Leaning over his shoulder you pull the collar around his neck before leaning your lips down to kiss his soft skin. "Mmm~ Someones in the mood~" He murmurs caressing his hands against your ass, making you smile against his skin as you continue to plant an array of warm kisses.

Your lips continue to press even after he lays you on the bed. He doesn't stop you as you roll till you're on top of him, a grin planted on his gorgeous face. "You want to be top today?" He husks gliding the tip of his fingers up and down your hips, making sure both of your legs are straddling around his sides perfectly.

You put a hand over his face and he chuckles against your palm, " always say embarrassing shit.." You move your hand to press your lips against his even as he opened his mouth to say something. Your soft lips sway against his warm ones, looping your tongues around each other two a delightful melody only the two of you can create..

A moan escapes your lips when his hands slide under your dress cupping your ass caressing against your silk panties. His fingers grab the top of your waistband before pulling them down. You can feel yourself blushing but make no move to stop him.

He sits up with your legs spread over his lap as he leans up to kiss the side of your neck. You murmur his name softly before he pulls back to lift your dress up and off your body tossing it to the ground. He doesn't wait as he unsnaps your bra letting it slide away from your breasts, before dropping it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

There you are once again completely naked in front of him. His eyes trail around your body admiring its the first time he's seen it. You can feel your heart thumping, as heat rushes to your cheeks.

Pressing yourself against him you whimper into his ear, "I-i'm on top but y-you..are still m-making all the moves.."

He smiles pushing you back to slide his hands against your cheeks, cupping your face as he brings it down to give you several kisses. "I'm sorry, Love..I can never keep my hands off of you."

Smiling you moan softly when his hands slide down you neck, to squeeze your breasts. "I know that more than anyone.." You smirk grabbing his hands pushing them away to stand and turn away covering yourself.


"You can't have this body."

He frowns blinking and at the same time wondering what he's done wrong. He opens his mouth before closing it with tender realization a smirk edging up onto his handsome face. "Okay, Beautiful. I understand."

When you turn back he's pulling off all his cloths tossing them to join your pile of clothing on the floor. You can't help the heat that rushes to your entire body, as his beautiful muscles come into view. His pants and boxers fall to the ground showing you his well endowed member as well, and that's when you turn back around biting your lip.

"Is this better?" He questions innocently, giving his chest a small come hither pat that leads one of his hands down to stroking himself before you very eyes.

You turn around dropping your hands, an unmistakable wanting pant fraying from your parted lips. Watching him pump his length is quite in fact a big turn on, as you walk over wrapping both of your arms around his body. His hands slide up your back caressing your soft skin, and you chuckle, " still for like 5mins would you please?"

He fake gasps squeezing you close to his body, letting you feel his cock pressing against your stomach, "But..but.." He snuggles his cheek against your neck as he pouts, "But i really want to touch you!~"

Pulling away you push his shoulders getting him to sit on the bed sliding your lips forward to meet his in the middle, before kissing down to his neck. "Just be still..please..You always pleasure let me please you." You pleaded to him with a seductive lick of the bandages against his skin, and nuzzle of your nose down to the top of his shoulder.

"If that's what you want, My Love. I'll do my best to keep my hands to myself." He chuckles retracting the hand that was just about to pet through your hair.

"Good Boy~" You giggle wrapping your lips around his ear nibbling on it ever so softly. He murmurs quietly as you trail your lips down his neck and over his chest kissing every inch of his exposed skin. Your hands trail against his hips before sliding to his legs edging them apart easing yourself down on your knee's between them.

Your soft hand wraps around his cock slowly pumping him up and down, gaining several low husky groans from him. "Osamu~ You're so hard~" Leaning forward your tongue swipes at the tip and he jerks forward, "Does my body turn you on that much?"

"You already know the answer to that!" He hisses out as your lips envelope him, swirling your tongue against his length.

Smirking against his member, your head edges forward slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth till he's grazing the back of your throat. This isn't the first time you've given him a blow job but, it still amazes you how you can barely fit him between your lips.

Bobbing your head back and forth you can hear him groaning the soft syllables in your name. It makes your heart throb that you can make him feel so good. His hand slides to the back of your head petting through your hair and when you glance up and meet his eyes he retracts. "I know i know~ I said i wouldn't touch you but i can't help it~" He whines out as he moans, with the purposeful simple lap of the flat of your tongue down one side of his girth and up the other..

You pull back smiling, "You can touch me..I like it when you pet my hair..when I'm.." You glance at his member blushing, before wrapping your lips back around him.

His hand slides back into your hair petting you, as he tells you how cute you are when embarrassed.

You muffle out a few words but try to concentrate on bobbing your head back and forth. I think I Can feel Osamu's heartbeat..He usually so calm and collected but his heart is thumping faster than normal. His heartbeat puts me at ease..

Sliding your tongue around him you can feel his hips thrusting upward in desperation of his release. You pick of your pace, taking him in as deep as you can without sputtering. You feel an innate desire to taste his manly arousal. Even if it wont be the first time.

Soon he's groaning your name loudly, as he stills your movement for just a minute. His milky seed slides down your throat as you ease away from him doing your best to swallow most of it even if he has an overwhelming bitter flavor.

You wipe your mouth before looking up at Dazai with slightly hazy eyes. He's panting huskily, as his dark brown eyes gaze at you before a grin edges up on his face.

"Come here (Y/n)" He grabs your hands pulling you up into his lap as he circles his hands your waist. He spreads your legs over him grazing his cock against your wet entrance. "A-ah~ Osamu..." you wrap your hands around his shoulders, gasping his name loudly in surprise.

He leans forward wrapping his lips around your nip, swaying his tongue in warm wet circles enjoying the taste of your skin. His hands slide down to your hips as he slowly presses you down onto his cock. You gasp out a moan of surprise arching your back clenching both of your hands around his shoulders. "Ngh~ I c-can feel you so deep.."

"If it hurts tell me, okay?" You look down at him and smile, this man really loved you. Well he wasn't a man per-say but his love was more adult than anything you've ever experienced. The relationship you shared together was definitely something mature. Especially in the aspect of how you showed your love to each other, as in making love and appreciating each others body in excruciating intimate detail..

Sex with Dazai was always wonderful. He could be rough but it was never painful. He could be aggressive but he was never forceful. He treasured your body like he thought he might break you.

"Osamu, I'm not made of can be more..rougher.."

He smirked before wiggling his eyebrows at you, making you giggle "Oh~ So you like it rough?~" You flushed as he leaned forward, placing a hand on the side of your neck smashing your lips together in a display of his hunger.

He nibbled on your bottom lip before sliding his tongue around your mouth. You felt as his hands slid down your sides before gripping your hips, while he continued to kiss you and thrust up harshly into your core as deeply as he muster. You fought with his tongue as you hissed out a mewl of overwhelming pleasure.

Before you knew it his hips were thrusting up as his hands started to bounce you on his cock, using his upper body strength to the best of his abilities. The friction was exactly what you asked for..he started fucking you faster and more rougher than usual.

His hands were feeling around your ass before cupping your cheeks, gripping the soft flesh before pulling you off of him only to slam you down harder, faster..slapping his cock against your g-spot so harshly a pleasurable scream erupted from your mouth.

"Agh!~ O-osamu!~ Ah~ S-so fast!~ So D-deep!~ I c-can't think!~"

"You don't have to think..Just let me love you, Because you are mine..correct?"

Leaning back your hands press against his shoulders trying to steady your shacking frame but its impossible. The pleasure is way to overwhelming, as your lips quiver out an answer, "Y-yes, I'm yours..And I h-hope you're mine.."

He slides his lips against your neck, before edging them up to your ear kissing it ever so gently despite the rough fucking he's giving you.

"Forever and Always" He whispers to you.

One hell of a smile spreads to your soft pink lips before you mouth shoots open screaming out his name as the sudden warmth from your tummy spreads all around your body before bursting. His hips continue to thrust kissing your neck till his arousal is sliding down your thighs.

Your legs throbs as your heart pounds against your chest before you collapse forward leaning over his shoulder. He pets a hand against your cheek sliding it down your back, before falling backwards onto the bed. You whimper softly as he slides you off his tip, the feeling of suddenly being empty making you realize how badly you're throbbing down there.

"Was I too rough?" He questions kissing your temple softly. You shake your head smiling, "No, It was..more intense than normal but i know you would never harm me." You assure blushing and looking up into his eyes mumbling, "a-and..its not like it didn't feel good.."

He pulls you close to him letting you lay your head against his chest as he grabs the covers edging them up and over both of your naked frames.

"I'm glad i made you feel good, my Love." You smile softly at each other before snuggling close to him and closing your eyes.

"Good Night Osamu."

"Sleep well, (Y/n)."


The sound of a very loud ringtone jars your sleepy eyes open. Groaning you look up and around and notice your phone on the table. Sliding on top of Dazai who groans your name wrapping his hands around you snuggling against your chest, "(Y/n)~ Just let it ring~" He whines.

"Nooo..That's my Mad Hatters ringtone." you whine back laughing when his face scrunches up.

He refuses to loosen his grip but thankfully your arm is close enough to the table to grab your cell. Clicking the talk button you sleepily rub your eyes as you say:

"Mad Hatter, good morning I hope this is important." You yawn into the phone trying to emphasize how sleepy you are.

"Rabbit. I'm coming over to get you."

"Huh? doesn't start till.." You sleepily glance at the clock before responding back, " ..another hour? Did something happen?"

"Something did, I'm coming get dressed." He doesn't let you respond before abruptly ending the call. You blink confusedly as you slide off of Dazai's warm body.

"What did Chuuya want?" He questions sitting up leaning his cheek against your shoulder. You shrug, "I'm not sure..he just said to get dressed, he's coming over to get me."

Dazai and you both are confused as hell, but get dressed none the less. Both of you deciding to go with casual cloths instead of your school uniforms. Somewhere in the pit of your stomach you got the feeling you weren't going to school today.

Your phone rings again this time it appears to be Tachihara. Glancing over at Dazai you click accept.

"Hello, Tachihara"

"Good morning, Miss Black. Its a relief to hear your voice."

"Why..? Whats going on?"

There's a moment of silence as if he's hesitating, which has you frowning deeply a sinking feeling pooling in the pit of your gut. "Just tell me..You're making me fucking nervous..."

"...Something happened to your mother last night."

A chill runs down your spine, "W-what do you mean?" Instantly you reach for Dazai's hand giving it a squeeze and he frowns whispering to you "Whats wrong?"

You shake your head at him as you listen to Tachihara, and when he finally says what you already knew in the pit of your gut..instead of feeling sadness what you feel overwhelming flow of relief.

After hanging up with him you're completely silent. Dazai doesn't know what to say to you. He wraps his arms around you holding your frame tightly, (Y/n)..Tell me what happened?" You turn in his grasp burring your face in the side of his neck before whispering.

"My mother is dead."


Chuuya came to get you as he promised, and even though he offered to keep the police at bay while you got your head asked for him to drive you to your house.

The police had already called you while you were waiting for Chuuya anyway. Avoiding them now wouldn't be a good idea. You wanted to answer their questions..and you wanted to know how exactly she died. The cop on the phone only would tell you she was killed some time between 9-11pm.

Dazai held your hand tightly as you both sat in the back seat. You were grateful he wasn't asking you every few minutes if you were alright. He seemed to understand what you needed right now was time to think.

When you arrived at your house there were 3 cop cars parked in front as well as a crowd of noisy neighbors watching like flies.

They parted as soon as they saw you, but hounded you with questions thankfully both of your boys made sure they left you alone after a minute.

A detective pulled you aside from your friends and spent over 2 hours asking you various questions. You answered as honestly as you could, because you knew for certain it wasn't you whom had murdered her. Despite the natural aptitude to lie to people in power, you remained forthcoming with information.

The cops learned how you met here for dinner to meet your old friend, left with him after you were done, and walked back home with your boyfriend whom you made sure to say you were living with.

You learned that she had been murdered by someone she knew. Whoever they were she had graciously let them into the house. There was no sign of forced entry. They came at you like you were a suspect but you didn't mind. After there interrogation they seemed satisfied that you weren't the one who did it.

They didn't say that but you could tell, your story was ringing true with them.

The worst thing about talking to the cops had to pretend you were sad. Even before you got out of Chuuya's car you told them to make you cry, so you could have real tears streaming down your face while you talked to them.

Dazai was the one who made you cry but he did it in the most loving or some might say the cruelest way telling you everything your mother never told you.

"I'm so proud of you (Y/n)"

"The day you were born you made me the happiest person in the world."

"You could never disappoint me."

"You don't have to be perfect, I love the way you are."

There were tears streaming down your face badly by time you made it through the crowd of neighbors to the police. It churned your stomach in the sickest way possible that you had to pretend to be sad.

When the police finally dismissed you, they told you they would probably bring you down to their station in a few days to answer more questions, "T-that's fine Detective..Please..please find the monster who killed my mother.."

The ride back home was as silent as the ride there was. Your tears long since dried, and your heart surprisingly tranquil.

Chuuya invited himself inside after coming back to your shared apartment. Dazai really didn't have the heart to turn him away when you were so..lost. They both tried talking to you but you seemed lost inside your own thoughts and perhaps past painful memories you'd experienced with your two-faced mother..

You sat in a chair staring out the window in silence. Deciding to leave you be Dazai pulled Chuuya into the kitchen.

"Have you ever seen her like this before?"

The orange haired mafioso shakes his head frowning, "I've seen many sides to my Rabbit..but never this one before."

A sigh escapes Dazai's parted lips, as he's forced to talk to Chuuya. Both of them discuss you in great detail, trying to decide what the best way to approach is.

Meanwhile, you lean forward tracing a finger against the window. The soft glass is delightfully cold. Leaning your head against the window pane a smile sways to your lips, as the chilly temperature puts you at ease.

I don't feel anything. I'm not sad, nor angry. I don't feel like i lost someone important. She was my mother..right? I should feel some kind of..pain, right?

She wasn't a mother to me though. She was a monster. She deserved so much worse than..however she fucking died...

I'm glad she's dead.

As soon as that thought passed through your head, you were screaming as loud as you could. Tears were streaming down your face as Dazai and Chuuya ran to your side.

"(Y/n), Please calm down.." His soft voice pleaded brown eyes shimmering with concern.

"Rabbit..p-please calm the hell know i hate it when you cry.." His gloved hand latched onto yours, as he held that awkward 'i want to help you' face but had no idea how to. "Don't be sad.." He pleaded.

"I'm..not..sad.." Your voice croaked. Earning a collection of blinks as you gulped down a deep breath of air. "I'm not sad.." you repeated shacking your head.

"My love, you are don't have to lie" He brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, "You're clearly sad about something, tell me what it is?"

"I..realized that I'm a terrible person."

"HAH?" Chuuya basically screeches, making you flinch as he squeezes your other hand. "My rabbit, maybe a little lost in wonderland...but is not a terrible person."


He presses a finger against your lips, "You can kill someone." You blink at him, "You can hurt someone, You can relish in their pain.." His azure eyes soften, "But, You will never be a bad person in my eyes."

A smile edges its way to your lips, before you laugh ever so softly. "Chuuya..thats not exactly what i meant but.." You pull away from Dazai to wrap your hands around your darling Mad Hatter, giving him a hug. "Thank you for saying that though."

He hugs back, smirking at Dazai who huffs. "Then Rabbit, why the hell are you sad?"

"I'm glad my mother is..dead."

"You should be."

"Likewise, wish it had been me who did it."

Now its your turn to blink wide eyed at them. "S-she's my mother though..Gave me life.." You grit your teeth seething, "But I'm so fucking glad she's dead..she took away all the happiness in my life."

You're crying again as Dazai latches onto your arm, "I wish i could of seen the look of agony on her face as she died!"

Your body start shivering and that's when Dazai pulls you off the chair into his lap. "Nothing you're feeling is wrong. She may of given you life but she was a terrible person..and if you don't want to mourn for her then don't."

His fingers tilt your chin up so he can kiss your tear stained lips, "If you want to laugh and smile, you can."

The tears are flowing again as you latch both arms around Dazais frame, kissing him back with intense fervor.

They understand me. They get me. I don't know why i was so scared. This darkness inside me..they don't wish to extinguish it. They wish to embrace it.

"Thank you, for accepting all of me."


What a twist.

Someone has murdered our mother in cold blood?! Who could it be? How will this affect the port mafia, if at all?

Find out in the next chapter!

If you liked this chapter, I would be glad to hear from my followers/fans. If people like this story enough I will continue to update as often as I can.

Don't forget to leave theme sweet kudos~<3

Chapter Text


Tick tock the time of the clock goes by without a thought

It's been days since someone murdered your mother, and you'd come to terms with how you truly didn't care. The only things you were curious about were:

How much pain was she in while she died?

Who killed her? And of course Why?

The cops talked you a few more times, and eventually you learned she died from extreme blunt force trauma to the head. They eventual let it slip that she had intracranial bleeding..which means she didn't die quickly. Its not how they put it but you were smart enough to understand.

It was nearly impossible to stop the grin that desperately wanted to form on your face. You held it down though, couldn't let them see how joyed you were.

When you told Dazai, there was an almost eccentric smirk on his face. It was enduring to the darkness in your heart, that he was just as happy she suffered as you were.

Thanks to Tachihara you had complete access to the police and autopsy report that was done on your mom. The information suggested the attacker wanted something from her which is why she didn't die right away.

There was literally nothing inside that house worth killing over. At least that's what you believed. She didn't have very many valuables, nothing rare or exquisite.

The police told you the house was ransacked like they were looking for something, but you were unable to tell them if anything specifically was missing.

Mori Ougai boss of the Port Mafia, insisted that you not work this case yourself. He knew you still would, which is why he threw multiple assignments your way. It registered weird to you that he was being so insistent but you were a bit full of yourself and simple thought he worked you hard cause he knew how good you were.

"Boss I merely want to find the person who killed her so I can shake their hand." You held a dark smirk on your face as you insisted to him whoever killed her deserved a medal.

He sighed heavily leaning on both of his hands, as his dark eyes observed you. There seemed to be something on his mind but he wouldn't say what it was. "(Y/n)-san, Do the assignments I've given you. I'd hate for you to see how angry i can be when people don't follow my orders."

You saluted him, "You got it boss." You grinned at him and he actually chuckled as well before you turned excusing yourself.

Walking down the hall you beelined for Chuuya's office. Once you were there you didn't bother knocking before you swung the door open and sauntered in.

Those azure eyes looked up at you, sighed and then went back to the papers in front of him. "Mad Hatter, Don't ignore me!~" you whined sitting down in one of the chairs at his desk before sticking your lip out and pouting.

"I'm not ignoring your Rabbit, I'm trying to work." He leaned back in his chair giving you his focus, "I thought you weren't going to be here today?"

"The boss issued me a threat so I have to take my work seriously now." You shrugged.

His eyes widened in disbelief, "Really? He hardly ever threatens you to do anything."

"I know! Which means he's serious..." You sighed before standing back up, "I guess I should start working on those assignments, I'll see you later Mad Hatter." You waved to him as he said his goodbyes.

The boss's assignments kept you busy for days, even though you were focused on them when you were at the warehouse..when you went home you looked over the files Tachihara gave you.

Despite believing the police were really lacking in many departments, it seemed they'd catalogued everything at the scene in the finest detail. Even their best efforts couldn't gain them any clues though. There were no signs she fought her attacker so no DNA under her nails. The killer took the weapon, and if he touched anything he either wiped it off or wore gloves.

Dazai saw you leaning over the files cheek resting against your palm as you sighed heavily. Coming over to you he leans over your shoulder, "(Y/n)~ You look at this file more than you do me these days." He pouts snuggling his nose against your cheek.

Giggling you lean back turning towards him as you give his nose a soft kiss. "I know, I'm sorry Osamu."

"Then put this away for the moment.." He grabs your hand pulling you up placing one hand on your hip while interlocking his fingers with the other. "And dance with me~"

You giggle as he sways you both around the room. He even twirls you and leans you back giving your soft lips a warm kiss or two. However, mid lip lock he looses balance falling over with you.

"Oops.." He chuckles but when he see's how he landed right on top of you, and even one of his legs is between yours..he grins slyly. Your face tints with a blush as he grabs both of your hands and holds them above your head before leaning down to lick your neck.

"Mhm..Osamu.." you moan softly, fluttering your eyes as he kisses from your neck to your lips. His teeth pull at your bottom lip making you gasp from his sudden roughness.

"(Y/n), remember how you said I could be a little rougher with you?" Your cheeks tint with a blush, but you nod to him none the less starting to feel warm all over. "Then.." He slides his lips to your neck pressing his teeth just hard enough for you to feel them. When he pulled away you were panting softly, he did it again before whispering into your ear.

"Did that hurt any?" You don't know why but your body feels so hot, he's never bitten you before. He's never..inflicted pleasurable pain before. "Would you prefer it if i was more gentle?" He husks wrapping his warm lips around your ear sucking on it.

When he backs away watching your hazy eyes and slightly parted lips as they pant softly, he smirks from how unresponsive you are to all his questions. "Cat got your tongue? Or do you want me to have it..?"

Your face is so red, but you want to see what he will do so you stick your tongue out to him. He blinks seeming surprised, but grins lowering himself as he wraps his lips around it. Its such a strange sensation as he sucks on it much like he did the night he first popped your cherry..

This time though you do not retract your tongue, and can't help but moan when you feel your saliva mixing together. Suddenly he bites your tongue and you yelp pulling away. "O-osamu! w-what the fuck!?" you pant heavily at him.

He chuckles, "Now you talk.." He lets go of your hands as he slides his own down your body petting over your breasts before giving both an aggressive squeeze. "A-ah~ Osamu~.." You gasp out a moan of his name arching your back pressing yourself into his hands.

He smirks as he starts to edge his hand down between your legs, just as he slides his fingers against your panties does loud knocking resound from his door.

You laugh at the frown that comes to his face, "I'll bet you anything its your midget.."

"It might be lets go see.."

"I want a kiss first." He places both hands on your cheeks staring into your orbs deeply, "Not just any kiss either.."

You take a deep breath trying to make sure you have the lung capacity for the type of kiss he wants. Sliding your hands through his chocolate brown lush hair you push his head down to meet your lips. Your tongues mix together swirling in complete harmony.

Suddenly you're both rolling, and end up on top of him for a few seconds but you don't care. Your hands are passionately petting through his beautiful mane. His hand are around your waist and next thing you know you're rolling again.

Somehow your legs are wrapped around his waist, you can feel his crotch pressing into your panties, and then when he starts grinding into you, you can't help but lean back from the kiss to moan sharply.

"Oh my god, stop fucking and come answer the door dammit!"

Upon hearing Chuuya's voice you immediately push Dazai to the side making him fall over with a 'oof' noise before scampering to the door with a bright heart throbbing pink blush.

"W-we weren't!" You protest but the look on your face is that of complete guilt as you open the door and pant at Chuuya.

His blue eyes trail passed you raising an eyebrow at Dazai who's on the floor rubbing his side. "The fuck were you doing then?" he pauses waving his hand in front of him, "Never mind I don't want to know."

"If you insist on knowing.." Dazai's suave voice starts but you shove your hand in front of his mouth. "Osamu I swear to god..I will end you."

He chuckles putting up is hands as he mumbles 'okay okay'. Sighing you turn back to Chuuya, "So whats up Mad Hatter?"

His eyes narrow at you before producing an envelop, "This..I'm only going to give you this If you let me see what it says too."

"What it is? New orders?"

He shakes his head, "This was left inside Tachiahara's desk at the police station. He gave it to me when he couldn't find you, I was assured he didn't open it."

You start to get a bad feeling in your stomach, as he shows you whats on the front. There written in beautiful cursive is:

Miss Black

"The person who killed your mom knows your a member of the port mafia, before you ask how I got the connection..Tachihara says this was inside a copy of the file with your case in it."

The frown on your face is deep as your mind races with a million different thought. I've always maintained my two separate lives. There's day time (Y/n) who goes to school and has friends who love her. And then there's Miss Black..She..I'm a cold hearted and calculated member of the port mafia.

The only people who know both identities I have are right next to me. If..whoever killed my mom did it cause of one of my jobs/assignments for the mafia out of revenge..they're going to be in for a rude awakening when they realize I don't give a shit about her.

Grabbing the letter from his hand you wonder back into the house and over to the couch. The door shuts and a few seconds later, Chuuya is sitting on your right while Dazai is on the left. Both waiting and watching expectingly for you to open the envelope.

Taking a slow breath, you ease the envelope open. First thing on top is a print of your mother bleeding out from the wound on her head. Flipping to the next picture its a close up of your mothers tear stained face with blood dripping from her nose and a very black swollen eye.

Glancing at Chuuya then Dazai they both nod, before you continue. Next is a note it looks like it was written by a 5 year old, its crumpled and has blood on it. Your eyes widen upon reading the words:

I never meant to hurt her..she was always perfect, and I hated her for it. Every time she messed up I just had to ruin how perfect her skin was. The mistakes she made were understandable but..I relished in causing her pain.

The next part is smudged pretty badly and written ever so shakily she must of been in a lot of pain as she wrote:

I told her she was stupid but..she was brilliant..

I called her ugly but..she was beautiful..

I told her that her father didn't want her..but in truth I don't know. He disappeared while I was pregnant...

(y-y/n)..I love you..

"NO SHE DIDN'T!" You scream at the top of your lungs, bawling the paper tossing it across the room. Suddenly you start hyperventilating, you can hear both Chuuya and Dazai whispering calming words but its not really helping you.

Standing you wave them off when they start to follow you. "G-give me a second.." You wheeze holding your hand over your chest, taking several deep breaths.

Dazai is frowning at your panicked state he wants to help you but you've asked for some space. Chuuya is frowning just as deeply, suddenly he stands placing his hat on your head before sitting back down.

Panting softly you blink at him before smiling breathing returning slowly to normal. "T-thank you Mad Hatter.." Dazai tsks, "If I had a hat i would of given it to her.."

Giggling ever so softly at him you sit in his lap and motion Chuuya closer, he's reluctant at first but eventually moves letting you lay your feet in his lap.

"Okay..i just want to say, I know my mom more than either of you and half of what she wrote probably wasn't true."

"I don't care if its true, All I care about is making sure whoever killed her doesn't come after you." Chuuya huffs folding his arms across his chest.

"The note is revealing though, even if its not true it sounds like..she was pleading to you in a way.." You open your mouth to say you didn't kill her but Dazai presses a finger to your lips, "I'm aware you didn't Princess, but I'm saying someone who knows she hurt you killed her."

You bite your lip another list of narrow suspects, hardly anyone knew. Deciding to just finish looking at the contents of the envelop, you look at the next item.

Another picture, this one is of you when you were a kid it doesn't look familiar. Flipping to the next item its a picture of a very familiar apple tree. Your heart thumping haphazardly as you turn the photo over and see what's written on the back.

She Wont Hurt You Anymore.


I wonder, oh i wonder~ Who could have killed your mother?

Find out in the next chapter, be sure to leave me a comment if you liked this chapter! Thank you for sticking with me this far into the story.

don't forget to leave delicious kudos <3

Chapter Text


"(Y/n), Can you stop for just a second."


Dazai sighed heavily as he watched you sort through various weapons, you either bought yourself or brought from the Mafia's warehouse. Ever since that last picture of the apple tree, you've been singular minded.

"Rabbit, I said I'm not letting you go."

You frowned at Chuuya as you turned to face him, "And I told you Mad hatter, this is one thing you cannot stop me from doing."

He bawled his fist, growling at you as he angrily swayed his hand through his hair. "Explain it to me again."

"I already told you 3 times already.."

"I don't fucking care! Tell. Me. Again."

You flinched at his angry roar. It was uncommon for him to be so angry he was yelling at you. The look on his face was one he'd only show his worst enemies. The fact that he was showing it to you, proved he was extraordinarily upset.

Sighing, you took a deep breath before explaining everything yet again.

"When I was younger, my friend John Steinbeck lived in the house across from me." Your mad hatter listened intently, nodding as you explained you grew up together. He was your best friend, he used to be the only thing that was in your world that made you happy.

"Even when I got hurt by my mother, He made me happy. When I was with him I could forget about the pain."

"And he never knew..that your bitch of a mom hurt you?" Chuuya's eyes glimmer with a flame of hatred, almost as deeply as your own for your mother.

Nodding you explain how he moved away when you were about 10, and then he recently came back to see you a few weeks ago. "I thought he came back to catch up turns out he came back to confess his feelings."

Dazai hums watching you with mild interest, he wouldn't say it out loud but he had a dark desire to kill your friend for nearly kissing you. Besides the fact that he kept trying to force himself on you, even though you were clearly not interested.

"And after turning him down, he still wouldn't take no for an answer.."

You watch Chuuya pop his knuckles, clearly the same desire as Dazai on his mind. "Its okay..both of you.." You assure grabbing Dazai's hand giving it a comforting squeeze.

"The whole point is he ended up showing me a picture, from our child was specifically wonderful day for him..but it was a terrible day for me..I ended up telling him how my mother had injured me..not just that day but all the time."

You motion to the picture in Chuuya's hand, "That Apple tree, was in Johns backyard."

"In conclusion, your old childhood friend murdered your mother for hurting you. If he hadn't forced himself on you I might actually like him."

Dazai wraps his hands around you, before tilting your chin up to plant a quick kiss. "I'm the only one that gets to kiss you though." You smile nuzzling your nose against his cheek, "I love you too, Osamu."

"If I was in my better mind, I'd be grossed out." Chuuya scoffs handing you the picture of the apple tree, "I really can't talk you out of going to see him can I?"

"I'm afraid not Chuuya, Like I told the boss I'm not out for revenge. I really might just shake his I need to know how he found out I'm in the Port Mafia." You turn to bend back down to your bag, you planned to take some weapons with you. However, a bag would be suspicious so you decided to pick weapons you could easily conceal on your body.

"Its obvious from that picture he wants me to meet him where it was taken."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't go." Chuuya pulled your bag away, tossing it to the corner letting it fall to the ground with loud metal cachings.

You sent him a powerful glare, gritting your teeth. "You can glare at me all you want, but it wont change anything." He hissed at you, grabbing you by the collar of your shirt.

Dazai would of stopped this situation if he thought Chuuya was going to really hurt you, but he could tell your mad hatter simply cared about you way to much to let you go off to meet someone who had no qualms about killing.

You squeezed your knuckles together before raising one of your fits. Chuuya closed his eyes and waited for you to hit him, he didn't care if you hurt him. All he cared about was protecting you, because you were the sister he never had.

"Thank you, My Mad Hatter."

Chuuya immediately flinched when your arms wrapped around him. Your hands squeezed his frame tightly, absorbing his warmth. Leaning up to his ear you whispered in away that had his ocean blue eyes widening and looking down as you placed a piece of paper in his hand.

"I trust you."

Turning on your heels you left him in a thoughtful silence. When he heard the door close, he scowled before abruptly turning to Dazai.

"Oi, Bandages we have work to do. Lets go."


The street that lead to your house felt different tonight. You used to completely dread the moment you turned onto this street. For there was a horrible monster waiting for you to get home.

She would bruise your body, break your heart, and devour your soul. You would of never believed in the day where you could really be saved. Chuuya gave you reason to hope, but for some reason you could never let him be the one to save you.

It took drowning in someone else's love before you actually started to feel like you deserved so much better. The days living with your mother, felt heavier after meeting Dazai. She was always overbearing but..with freedom being so close days with her were suffocating.

"I wish I was the one who killed you." You mutter stopping in front of the entryway to your house. Your cold eyes loomed over the yellow tape attached to the door. You already told the police you had no desire to live in this house, so they could merely keep the crime scene tap on it.

Turning around to the opposite house, you eyed the home of your old childhood friend. Its changed a bit, like the window blinds used to be green and now they were white. The door used to have a peach blossom in the middle, but now it just had a circular door knocker.

There were no lights on, which gave you an odd feeling. Dismissing it for the moment you angled around the side of the house. You remember how Johns mom used to like potted flowers and she would have at least 3 of them resting on the back porch.

Glancing over you don't see any potted plants instead you see a broken wind chime. The bells clattered all over the ground, and a glass frame shattered into pieces.

Frowning you get a bad feeling about the people that live inside Johns old house. Walking further into the back yard your eyes land on what used to be a gorgeous apple tree. However, now its missing a large number of branches, its not bearing fruit, and even looks like its withering.
"Its such a pitiful sight don't you think (Y/n)?"

Looking up into the tree you spot John sitting on one of the thicker branches. He smiles at you kicking his feet, in an all to familiar way that just has your mind remembering the very first day you meet.

Five year old (Y/n), decided now was a good time to sneak away from her mommy. She was in the middle of arguing with a man she'd been dating, luckily it wasn't about you.

Being so little you didn't like all the yelling that was going on, so you just really wanted to leave. After barely reaching the knob to the front door you walked down the street. You didn't have any destination in mind, in fact you let how pretty the scenery was be your guide.

"Ah, butterfly!" You giggled happily when a pretty blue one flew in your path, that had you trailing around behind it. You followed it all around, wondering where it was going. You even kept following it when it lead you into a neighbors back yard and through some bushes.

It started flying higher and you frowned calling to it, "Wait miss butterfly come back!" You hopped over a bucket that lead you into another backyard. When it landed on a tree, letting you catch up to it you clapped excitedly.

"Yay! I caught up to you!" You pointed at it giggling.

"Who are you?" A curious sounding voice called to you, looking up you spot a young boy who looks about your age. He has bright blue eyes, and short blond hair. He even has a soft smile on his lips, as he wags his feet at you.

Gasping you point to him, "Oh! How did you get up there?" You grab onto the tree trying to climb it but fail miserably. He chuckles at you, "I climbed it, I'm a really good climber."

"Want me to teach you?"

A chuckle knocks you from your memories, "Do you still remember how to climb this tree?" You frown softly wondering why he's acting so normal, like he didn't kill anyone. Like he never tried to force himself on you, and almost like he never moved away.

Grabbing onto the tree, you hoist yourself up till you're sitting on the opposite branch to him. There is a long silence as you think about the good ole days.
"Johnny..Thank you."

"For what?"

"You know what."

He smiles looking up at the night sky, "She suffered a lot, just so you know. I made sure." You bite your lip trying to not smile, but at least that answers one of your many questions.

"Why did you do it though?"

"Because she hurt you.." He pauses pulling something from his pocket, leaning around the tree you can't see it all to clearly but it looks like a picture. "And I was suppose to protect you.."

"I'm not one of your sisters.."

"You don't have to be!" His shout makes you grit your teeth as he continues, "I loved you when we were growing up together, I mean it took till i was a teenager to really know..since we were just kids..but I cared about you a lot."

"Johnny.." You didn't tell Dazai, but if you weren't free and hadn't already been in love..there was a real chance you would of gladly loved him back. The thought of leaving Dazai was crushing though, he was a beautiful light at the end of a dark tunnel.

"I'm saying this again Johnny but I'm very much in love.."

He chuckles standing up, resting his hands on the trunk of the tree. "I know, I've been looking into you." You blink at him curiously, wonder what exactly that means. "I'm apart of lets just say an enthusiastic gang, and we are well aware of the Port Mafia."

"You're in a gang?" you shake your head, its not to out of the box considering he's killed someone. "So that's how you know about me."

"That's right Miss Black, I hear you are quite the cunning little kitty." You hear a familiar unsheathing noise, and when you peak over to him you watch wide eyed as he cuts his palm.

He places it against the tree smiling rather calmly at you, "This tree is malnourished I think it need more liquid, its really painful to see how withered its become."

Just looking at him, makes you feel a cold shiver..he's become so different. He even sounds deranged in a way. After a few minutes he starts climbing around the tree to where you are.

You back up eyeing him suspiciously, but his calm smile is almost endearing and reassuring. "I wont hurt you, after all I love (Y/n)-chama very much." He sits down next to you, giving you a clear view of how red with blood his palm is.

"Johnny you're bleeding, you didn't have to cut yourself..."

"I'm fine, let me see your hand..I know you care about this tree too." He smiles holding out his bloody hand to you. Its true you do care about this tree but do you care about it enough to get hurt for it?

Lifting your hand slowly you place it in his hand, watching him smile so handsomely as he slides his knife across your palm. You flinch as a cut is created that has blood dripping down it slowly. He presses your wounded palms together and you pull away frowning.

"Johnny.." You sigh heavily, "I came here to clarify, how happy I am that you killed my mother..but we can't be anything. I wont leave Osamu."

He frowns before smiling, "I know, when I looked into you..I saw how in love with that guy you were." He leans closer to you as you back up trying to be careful not to fall from the branch, "But I don't care, I want to be with you even if I have to spirit you away like my own beautiful fairy."

You hiss at him swiping at him with your switchblade, he barely leans out of the way as it slices a few pieces of his hair. You kick at him and he wobbles as he leans away letting you have enough space to stand and climb to a higher branch.

"Johnny you've changed, You used to be so caring.."

"I haven't changed at all, I'll do anything to take care of my family and be with the girl I fell in love with." He climbs after you, pulling at your leg when he's close enough. The force from his tug has your legs scrapping against the branches creating some minor cuts.

Grunting loudly you kick at his shoulder hard enough he starts to fall backwards but he grabs onto the branch at the last second hoisting himself back up. Raising your switch blade you pant, "Johnny get the fuck away from me, I really don't want to kill you or hurt you..You were my friend."

"I know you wont kill me.." He smiles advancing towards you, "I know you care about me even if its not love." Cussing at him profusely he chuckles, "That's not very lady like (Y/n)-chan..but don't worry I like how sweet and feisty you are."

You glare daggers at him, raising your switchblade ready to defend yourself but suddenly you vision starts to become blurry. "What the fuck.." You murmur wiping at your eyes, when John chuckles your eyes shoot over to him.

"Finally starting to kick in?"

"What the hell did you do to me?" You spat at him with venom, but honestly you felt to woozy to work up true anger.

He holds up his bloody palm and your eyes widen, "There are certain poisons coursing through my blood..I keep them in cheek but since you've never been exposed you should start feeling groggy, hazy, and eventually you wont be able to move." He grins reaching for you but you slash at him cutting his hand as you edge backwards.

"You poisoned your own blood..You've gone completely mad!"

"That's right, but I'm madly in love." His blue eyes soften, as he explains how much he's missed you. "You don't have to worry about this poison being lethal either, it will only immobilize you." The softness in his voice makes you feel even more lost than the poison was, once upon a time you could of been a very happy couple of this you were certain.

You grit your teeth groaning from how numb your limbs are starting to feel. You glance at the ground but you can't even tell how far away it is anymore. Your line of sight consists of blurry shapes and outlines.

You can hear John asking you to relax, be still and he'll make sure you get down safely from the tree. Scoffing you wont let yourself be a damsel in distress, so you wait till he's close enough before latching your hands onto his shoulders.

You knee him as hard as you can, making him cry out coughing up saliva before he starts to fall backwards. You scream for him to grab your hand but you can't see him. Everything is a mass of blurs, and a chill runs down your spine when you hear a crunching noise.

"J-Johnny?" You call to him shakily, when he doesn't say anything your lips tremble. Suddenly your arms wont lift up anymore, your legs are sliding away from the branch you're on top of. Fear runs through your veins as you fingers desperately try to grip at the branch but you have no strength..and start falling..felling the wind in your hair..expecting the worst you squeeze your eyes shut.

All you can think about is leaving the wonderful man that is Dazai alone, tears blub in the corner of your eyes before arms jut out of nowhere wrapping around you tightly. Instantly you knock whomever they are to the ground with a loud grunt. You can barely lift your eyelids open, while wondering who the hell you landed on.

"W-who.." You mumble to them, but a finger is pressed to your lips. "Just relax, the poison in your system will take a few hours to run its course but you should be fine." You blink slowly, trying to make out the blur of the person holding you.

Its an older man, with a gruff voice but he doesn't sound threatening. It kind of looks like he has red hair but the blur is hard to distinguish. He lays you on the ground gently, the back of a few of his knuckles tickling the right side of your cheek.

"He will be here soon, and so will your friend." You don't understand what he means, your eyes are starting to close. "His eyes are cloudy sometimes but you focus him, so I want you both to be happy." You feel a soft gesture of one of his hands brushing through your hair before everything goes black.


"I told you, I fucking should of gone with her!" The orange haired mafioso hissed gripping your hand as tightly as he could muster. "She got poisoned! And I wasn't there to fucking protect her..!"

Dazai's brown eyes held a stern stare as he watched your slumbering face. "She asked you to do something else. You know how stubborn she is more than I do." He slides his hand against your cheek, caressing your hair behind your ear.

He wasn't saying how he really felt. He was scared for you as much as Chuuya was. When he and the orange hair arrived on the scene, you were laying unconscious on the ground. Your skin was warm and sweaty, and your palm was bleeding.

He didn't even notice your dead friend till Chuuya was screaming at him to pick you up and get you out of here.

Thanks to the information you gave Chuuya before you left, they already knew what type of poison was running through your veins. They knew how to detox it from your system, and they knew how to deal with Johns Dead body.

The piece of paper you'd given to Chuuya before you left was the address, John gave you to write his sister a letter. You told him to back trace it, and look into gangs that had serious rivalry with the Mafia.

It only took a few hours before they had information on an organization known as The Guild. They already had files on several of the members, including John and woman you'd been curious about Lucy Montgomery.

"She's quick assume that only a rivalry gang would know she was a member of the Mafia." Dazai murmured stroking your hair, "Thats why she had you focus on gaining information."

"I don't care Dazai...She was stupid to go by herself.." Chuuya's blue eyes never looked so soft and forlorn, what would he do if he lost you? You'd made his life stable even though it was still murky and malleable. You gave him the care he longed for.

"When she wakes up I'm slapping her."


Oh noes we are going to be slapped when we wake up ~_~ hehe, did you like this chapter?~ Did you figure everything out in tune to your reader-counterpart?~ Stay tuned till the next chapter my dudes~! <3

Chapter Text


"Oh my god (Y/n)-chan! What the heck happened to your face?!"

You turned to the side and laughed softly, your white haired friend was going on and on about the red puffiness on the side of your right cheek.

Glancing at your orange haired Mad Hatter, who was already facing away you laughed before looking back to Atsushi. Sliding a finger against your cheek you smiled, "This...this is just proof that my friends really care about me."

"Somebody hurt you though.."

"I promise, this is nothing to worry about." You smiled at him assuring him you were fine, luckily the small bandage on your palm had not drawn his attention. He knew sometimes you got into fights, but he also knew that you were strong.

Suddenly arms slide around you from behind, you smile as soft palms hold onto your waist. Warm lips press against your cheek before laying his head on top of yours. "(Y/n), how are you feeling?"

Leaning your head back against his chest, you smiled at him softly. "I feel fine, Osamu. I decided to come to school today after all." He caresses his hands against your stomach, making your white haired creme puff of a friend blush and look away.

"I'm glad you feel better, it sucks that I'll have to be separated from you for like a gazillion hours." He snuggles his nose against the side of your neck, placing a light kiss. Snorting you push him off, "Osamu we have 3 classes together and we spend lunch together.." Turning you face him, "And we kind of live together.."

He fake whines, wrapping his arms around your hips before sliding them down to rest on your ass. "but I don't like being away from you ever~!"

You here a snort before suddenly being pulled away from Dazai. "Oi you bandaged asshole keep your gropey hands off my Rabbit, at least while were at school."

"I don't listen to short orange haired people." Dazai boredly picks his nose, frowning at Chuuya.

Chuuya seethes before going off on him, going on and on about what a waste of perfectly good bandages he is. You just shake your head at this whole ridiculous situation. One of the things you'd gotten used to is how often they fight.

"(Y/n)-chan, lets get to class.." Atsushi whispers to you grabbing your wrist motioning you to follow him and leave them to fight. Laughing softly, you nod to him before quickly giving Dazai a kiss making him instantly shut up. As well as ruffling Chuuya's hair in a teasing way before skipping to class with Atsushi.

Azure eyes watch as you walk around the corner before sighing. He turns to Dazai, "Has she said anything yet?" Dazai shakes his head, with a soft frown on his lips. Both men heave an equal in strength sigh, they were worried about you.

Why were they worried? You had said little to nothing about your friends death. They knew you cared about him, you grew up together yet you had not shed any tears yet. They knew there was something on your mind and you were not saying it.

However, there was little to nothing they could do. They could not force you to talk, less you retreat into an even deeper shell of your emotions. You still seemed happy around them, acting rather normal.

"I wish she would cry, so I can tell her to stop being a baby."

"Oh, I'm sure that'll cheer her right up."

Dazai snorts, glancing at Chuuya who has a soft smile on his face. Waving a hand through his soft chocolate locks he softly smiles as well, he knew the back and forth you and Chuuya had always cheered you up. It didn't matter if it was normally suppose to sound offensive that was just the language you spoke to each other.

Eventually they make their way to their separate classes. School is just as normal as it always is. Class with your few friends, Sitting on your boyfriends lap or desk during downtime, Lunch with the people you care about, and eventually walking home with the one you love.

His fingers threaded softly between your own, every so often he'll bring your intertwined hands to his lips and kiss them. Such a warm gesture always makes you smile, his hands are always so delicate with how they hold you.

After stepping into your shared home, he doesn't let your hand go till you are both sitting on the couch together. "Do you want to start on homework first or.." He leans over pressing a kiss to your neck, while his hand finds its way to your knee.

Blushing you laugh before pinching the hand on your knee making him yelp in such a cute way, you can't help but just giggle. "Tsk tsk..Osamu..You're always in the mood.." He chuckles sliding his hand away, giving you some space.

"I can't help it you're just so..cute and sexy~"

Shacking your head at him, you point to your book bag telling him to start doing his homework. He makes small groaning noises but complies. None of the homework you have is very hard, you just want to get it out of the way.

A math worksheet from Kunikida-sensei, review questions for an upcoming quiz for science, and luckily nothing to crazy from Ranpo-sensei he wants a historical outline of events for the chapter you're on.

All in all its nothing, compared to all the extra work you used to have to do for your mother. While the happy thought that your mother isn't here anymore makes you smile, your mind goes back to something its been avoiding.

Johnny. I still don't know what to say. I Knew him for 5 years. He was an amazing friend, but he moved away and then he came back all messed up.

I couldn't save me..but I feel like i could of saved him. Why did he join a crazy gang like The Guild? No doubt he was asking the same question about me, but after finding out my past he should've understood.

I know he grew up in a good house, he never had bruises, and he had loving brothers and what happened?

A tear slides down your cheek, that has Dazai immediately sliding his soft hand against your face. "(Y/n), Whats wrong?" He wipes away the solitary drip before edging closer to you.

lifting your head, you wanted to say that you were alright..that everything was fine..that you weren't sad..but after being together this long he could read you like you were one of his favorite books. He knew if you lied to him, he knew everything..and you simply loved him for understanding you so much.

Pulling his hand away, he frowns softly like you want space but you surprise him when you slide into his lap. Laying your head against his chest, "I was thinking about John.." you shake your head, "No He was still Johnny..he will always be Johnny to me."

Dazai carefully presses a hand against your back while the other takes your head. "Tell me what you were thinking, love?" He softly prods, and you slowly ease into your thoughts about how he should of never ended up in a gang.

"He was so kind, He had a loving family.." your hand grips Dazai's, "I just..I Just want to know why...Why did it have to end up like.." Your voice trails off into a whisper burring your face in his shirt.

His hand slides up into your hair petting you gently, "My Love, you know its okay to cry." Your eyes widen against the material of his shirt before the tears you've been holding back for days freely cascade down your cheeks. Letting go of his hand, you wrap both arms around his back pressing your face into his chest.

You can hear Dazai whispering soothing words to you, as he pets his fingers through your hair, and another hand down your back. The type of cry that you're going through is not the sobbing kind, but it is the kind that shakes your body.

It takes awhile before you pull away, just as you're about to wipe at your face he uses the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away your tears for you. He smiles pulling you close to kiss the corner of both of your eyes, "I hope you feel better, I really hate it when you cry."

Blushing softly you smile at him, before pulling him closer for a sweet kiss. His lips are so warm and soft, and absolutely comforting. Your fingers sway up into his hair curling a few fingers around his chocolate locks before pulling away after a few seconds.

"Thank you, Osamu.." Leaning up you kiss his cheek before laying your head on his shoulder.

He lets you lay on him, telling you to be still for a second while he leans forward to grab the book for his English class. One hand rests against your stomach while the other holds his book open.

Its such a calming sense to, lay on the one you love while they can still do what they need to get done. He loves you to much to tell you to get off him anyway, and you love that about him.

His warmth is very soothing to your sorrowful soul. You can't shake the feeling you could of done something different to save John..yet at the same time he was obsessed with his love. There may have been no way to save him, from the fact that you didn't want him in the way he wanted you.

Another part of your mind starts processing another thought its been holding off on. Why did the boss not want you to investigate the person who killed your mom? Did he know it was John from the beginning? Did he know he was apart of the rival gang, your organizations been at war with for awhile?

Should you even care?..He was your friend but your loyalty was with the Mafia. Despite how dark and deep the world of the Mafia was you didn't care. It fed your own darkness after all, gave you freedom of expression.

That darkness shouldn't of consumed him.

Suddenly you're detaching yourself from Dazai to stand up. He follows behind you as you head to the bedroom, "Where are you going?" He raises a brow at you going through your cloths.

"I Have to go see someone."


You glance at him before pulling out a pair of your favorite jeans, and comfy t-shirt. "I want to ask..Mori-san an important question."

Dazai is silent as you slip off your school uniform, and much to your surprise doesn't try to touch you at all. After pulling on your shirt, and grabbing your switchblade from the dresser you head for the front door.

He follows you but grabs your hand before you open the door. "I know, what you want to ask but just know whatever he tells you, it wont change the fact that he's dead." Turning to Dazai with a prominent frown, your eyes soften when you see a forlorn expression on his face.

Sliding both of your hands up to his cheeks, you focus his eyes on yours. "I've asked you before Osamu, but now I think I actually understand why you left." He wraps his arms around you as he leans his forehead against yours, "If I have to lose you too, I don't know what I'll do.."

"You wont lose me, I love you to much to leave you alone."

It only takes a small turn of your head before your lips slide together. He kisses you like you're the most important thing in his world. Your tongues even mix together in a slow heated passion. His hands can't help it when they trail down to give your ass a grope.

Laughing against his lips you pull away, before licking your own. "Okay Mr. Gropey, I think that's enough.." He smirks before leaning forward to lick your lips, making you giggle again. "Maybe I can seduce you into staying~" He half chuckles, giving you another light kiss.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon."

You give him a reassuring smile before, telling him to make dinner without you just in case you come home late. He isn't happy about it but he agrees before reluctantly watching you walk out the door.


After getting past the warehouse door, you first stop was the file room. You could try to get certain answers from the Boss, but information on The Guild would be collected and stored in file cabinets.

"Rabbit, I didn't think you'd be here tonight."

Chuuya was turning around the far off corner, and waited for you to catch up to him before he started walking beside you. "I came to look up some information." He nodded, following you into the file room putting away the folders he had in his hands.

After opening up the G file drawer, your finger skimmed along the file names. Then your fingers skimmed them once more frowning, and then one last time before turning to Chuuya. "Mad Hatter, the info you got on the Guild was it in this draw?"

"Yeah, it should be close to the front." You shake your head at him telling him its not in here. He comes over and looks, azure eyes gleam before shrugging. "It was here..but maybe another member checked out the information."

Tapping your chin, now you definitely have to go to the source. "I'm going to see the Boss." He grabs your wrist, "Rabbit, what are you thinking? I don't like that look in your eyes." His quick to tell you to tame your wonder lust, hoping into wonderland will only get you so far.

Sighing, you turn back to face him. "Osamu and you both need to calm down. I just want an answer to my questions."

"You know the Boss wont answer any question he doesn't want to, you are only going to ever know as much as he wants you too."

He was right. That gives you pause for thought, but he was informative enough to tell you himself to drop your moms case. He knows giving you even a simple order as that would have your brain ticking.

"It doesn't hurt to try."

Chuuya grabs your shoulder to stop you, "It could hurt a lot to try, are your answers really that important?" It only takes that look in your eyes, that he knows all to well for him to release you. He tells you to be careful, it doesn't matter how good you are in the Mafia. Mori-san was the Boss for a reason.

After leaving him you trailed down the long maze-like corridors of the Mafia's warehouse. It took some time but after taking the elevator up to his floor, you came face to face with the floor bodyguards. They both aimed the sites of their weapons at you, and asked you to state your business.

"Miss Black, code 13. I'd like to speak to the Boss, about a missing file." You stood with your hands behind your back, legs firmly planted on the ground. One of them spoke into there earpiece before, lowering their weapons.

"Go ahead, Miss Black." They both waved you forward, and you stepped slowly by them. Your heart had an extra thump to it..or lets not had several extra thumps. Fearing Mori-san was a smart move, it was in your best interest to never underestimate him.

Knocking on the door you waited for him to tell you to come in before edging the door open. Walking carefully over to his desk your eyes landed on a file in the middle.

"Is that the file on The Guild?"

He chuckled, "What no subterfuge? No small talk? No 'boss how are you today?'"

"Boss how are you today?" You laughed, shacking your head as he proceeded to tell you he was swamped in work he didn't want to do. He also said he gave a lot of the work he didn't want to do to Chuuya and that nearly had you cackling..but it was just paperwork no big deal.

"May I get an answer to my question now?"

He didn't say anything as his dark purple eyes narrowed, before pushing the file over towards you. Picking it up you wasted no time opening it and going through every file inside.

It was indeed, the file on an organization known as The Guild. Run by some blond rich dude named Francis Scott Fitzgerald. He didn't look familiar but as you scanned the files related to member enrollment, you dropped the file and focused on Johns.

The file was..informative but it didn't answer everything. John Steinbeck joined the guild 2 years prior, he wasn't being forced, and he was a master of poisons. There was even a known list of toxins he's used before. The file even listed the location of his family, and that had you glancing up with cold eyes.

"I hope you aren't going to kill Johns family."

"Why would I do that? The boys family hasn't done anything to me."

You eyed him suspiciously but decided to drop it, killing children after John was dead wouldn't accomplish anything. The file does tell you, he was making a great deal of money and sending it back to his family.

That has your eyes softening, he did say he'd do anything for his family. So if he had to hurt and join a dark wasn't that out of the box.

Sighing you place Johns info back into the file before dropping it back on Mori's desk. You don't say anything to him as you turn and make your way towards the door.


You stop at the sound of his voice. "I asked you to not look into your moms killer, I knew you would but I didn't expect you to kill one of our enemies members."

"I didn't kill him!" You seethe loosing yourself for a moment. "I mean..I didn't mean to at least.." Your fingers ball into a fist, squeezing your knuckles so tight your entire hand starts to turn white.

"You didn't mean to kill him?" He almost looks confused before he chuckles, "I'm not mad that you killed him (Y/n), in fact I'm a little overjoyed that our enemy has lost a member."

Your head rises to meet his eyes, "I wanted to tell you that as a member of the Port Mafia, your information is bound to get out there. So if people find out who you are, you should not be alarmed." You tilt your head at him having no idea what he's going on about.

"I'm saying, are enemy is good at gathering information almost as good as we are." Your eyes widen, it all clicks. The guild has information on you, Dazai and Chuuya. They more than likely know where you live, go to school, and where your old house is.

You're unable to contain a sneer as your voice becomes laced with venom, "So, our enemy has the hidden potential to attack me when and wherever they want, that's what you're saying?" You raise a hand when he starts to speak chuckling, your laughter makes him raise an eyebrow.

"I don't think our enemy is stupid enough to, attack indiscriminately."

Smirking the boss, nods his head agreeing with you. While at the same time he tells you to be on your guard, your friend completely took action on his own and more than likely had no help from his fellow guild members. "I don't expect them to exactly throw us a parade either, so if we do receive retaliation it will be no surprise."

Something is still off. Something important, then the question forms on the tip of your tongue before you know it, the words are leaving your mouth.

"You have people watching my house don't you?"

"Why would I do that?"

His round-about way of answering questions with another question is so freaking annoying. Its a good way to never tell anyone anything, you have to hand it to him.

You sigh before rephrasing, "You had people watching my old house, either that or following me in general. Before you think about not answering that I don't care." You sway a hand through your hair, voice oddly cold as you tell him, "I don't care as long as you don't hurt Osamu."

"You are just like him."

"Like who?"

He shakes his head, "Never mind, I have no intentions of hurting Dazai-kun. You are right, I will admit to having someone watch your house, they saw John go back after your dinner that night." You nod, after learning of your horrid past he had only one desire on his mind, and that was to cause as much pain to the person who hurt you, as they had to you.

"Boss. This war with The Guild, how serious is it?"

He hums, before telling you not to worry about it. Avoidance is almost as good as an actual answer, it tell you he doesn't want you to be directly involved. At least not yet.

"I have work to do, Miss Black so kindly get the hell out of my office."

Saluting him, you excuse yourself before leaving. You didn't see it but he always smiles when you salute him. There is a very strange connection you have to him, but you don't know what it is exactly.

Going back down the elevator you stop in Chuuya's office to update him. It doesn't matter what the boss would tell you, you always told your mad hatter about it.

"Its not strange that the Boss has some people being followed."

"I know, and like i told him i don't really care if its not interfering with my daily life." You lean forward onto his desk yawning, it wasn't actually that late but you still felt tired. Smiling you wondered if Dazai had made dinner yet, you also had to admit you were rather hungry.

"Go home Rabbit, I can see your hungry stare from miles away." You laugh poking his gloved hand getting him to chuckle before standing up. "Fine, fine I'll see you at school Mad Hatter."



"Did you get answers to your questions?"

Turning back you blink before nodding, "Good." Smiling you practically jumped on him giving him a tight hug, making him blush trying to push you away. "E-enough Rabbit..get the h-hell off me."

"You like it when I hug you though!~"

He huffs, letting you hug him before you finally get off. "Thanks Mad Hatter, don't work to hard." He nods to you fixing his hat before sitting back down at his desk.


The moment you see the door to your apartment, you smile knowing he's behind it. Pulling out your key you slip in once the door is opened. Sliding off your shoes you sniff curiously at the air smelling something delicious. Peaking around the corner to the kitchen you see, a curious Dazai wearing a pink apron.

Grinning you sneak up behind him, just as you are about to grab him.."Welcome back beautiful." Gasping he chuckles as he turns around, with a ladle and a tasting cup in his hands.

"Just in time for dinner~ Hope you like beef stew~" Smiling you nod, telling him you are incredibly starving. He smirks leaning down to give you quick peck, before making you put on an apron to help him.

Its a lot of fun cooking dinner together, you can joke around with the person you love and you get to taste the food together to make sure its good. It doesn't take much longer, for the strew to be done.

After preparing two bowls you sit down together at the table. "Its so yummy, Osamu." You smile to him enjoying the delicious taste of the soup.

"I'm glad you made it home in time."

A comfortable silence replaces the warm fuzzy atmosphere. You don't even have to speak to enjoy each others company. The soup warms both your soul and heart, because you made it together.

Once you're both done, he places your bowls in the sink and says he'll do the dishes tomorrow. He follows you as you exit the kitchen and go straight to the bedroom to flop on the bed.

Holding your arms out to him, he gladly takes them maneuvering himself into bed beside you. You lay your head against his chest, wrapping an arm around his back snuggling as close to him as possible.

"Someones a cuddle bug today~."

You giggle as he wraps his arms around your hips before sliding them against your back. "I'm glad you came back happy, did you get your questions answered?"

"I did, To be honest I'm still rather unhappy...but Johnny choose that life, and I choose mine." You tilt your head up kissing the side of his neck, "I think I got the better deal." He murmurs your name softly rubbing his hands against your back as you leave him a small love bite.

"It feels like a kitty is licking me." He grins when you pull back with a soft blush. He leans down to gently tilt your head, "How about I give you some kitty licks too?~" His tongue slides out of his mouth to softly lick at your neck, before pressing a warm kiss.

Your skin instantly warms up as you ease your eyes closed, enjoying the soft way he's kissing you. He trails up to your ear, giving it a little nibble before whispering, "I would ask if you want to go further, but I can tell my kitty is tired."

You smile as he presses a warm kiss against the outer rim of your ear, before pulling back enough to give your lips a gentle kiss. You return the kiss with a slow loving passion. After he pulls away you rest your head back against his chest.

"I love you, Osamu."

"I love you too, My dear Kitty."


Please pet me Osamu, I will gladly be your pet DX

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Don't forget to leave kudos if you did enjoy, I appreciate them all. ^_^

Chapter Text



The sound of your lovers voices jars you from a comfortable sleep. Your groggy eyes blink several times before swaying to his face.

"Osamu..?" You called to him softly, questioningly, a yawn escaping your lips before you saw his face was incredibly scrunched up like he was in pain. You could see his forehead and brow moist with sweat, his lips were half parted and looked like they were quivering.

Your eyes softened, this wasn't the first time you'd seen him have a nightmare but this one seemed to be worse than the others. His hands were clenched at his sides, and that in itself was concerning...because his hands were always holding you, or wrapped around you no matter what.

"Osamu, are you okay?"

Lifting your hand you placed it on his cheek, gasping as his eyes instantly snapped open. He roughly grabbed both of your hands switching positions with you wrapping his fingers around your neck and starting squeeze like he thought you were going to kill him.

"S-stop..O-sa-mu..whats wrong..?!" You coughed wheezing his name, grabbing at his hands but they were so much more rougher than your own.

You could feel your eyes starting to bulge as he tightened his hands more and more. Tears were forming in your eyes, panic flaring in your body, while his eyes appeared to be wide open but it was as if he wasn't seeing you at all.

His once gorgeous chocolate brown eyes were a mauve haze of listlessness. They looked like they'd been deprived of light, as they swirled with an all consuming darkness. The calculating mind that once brought the Mafia to its highest ranks, reflecting the shadows his mind and soul had absorbed from that previous life.

Your muscles were starting to get weak, out of complete desperation you raised your hands grabbing at his shoulders and pushed with all your might. He didn't budge at first, using one of your hands you used as much force as you could muster and slapped him hard across the face.

Finally you'd managed to knock him off of you, making him clatter to the floor with a painful huff.

"W-what the hell??" You heard him groan, but you were unable to answer him as you turned to the side and coughed aggressively. Your throat was pulsating painfully, tears were streaming down the corners of your eyes, and your voice was soft and hoarse.

"(Y/n)?" He sat up and knelled next to the bed, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He tried to touch your shoulder but you wretched yourself away from him, glaring as you took several deep breaths.

"Y-you..You tried to..s-strangle me..." You wheezed to him, his eyes raised in complete and utter confusion. "It..l-looked like you..were having a nightmare.." You finally managed to breath better, even though your neck still hurt. "Then you attacked me out of no where..."

He was silent for a long time before he started to apologize, "I'm sorry...(Y/n)...I was having a..really bad nightmare..and I don't know..I'm sorry.." He started reaching for you again as you lowered your hands away from your neck, However, the moment he saw his hand prints against your soft delicate skin...he pulled away frowning ever so deeply.

"I'm sorry..I didn't mean to hurt you..I w-would never.."

"I know..." You grabbed his hand holding it tightly, "What were you dreaming about?"


"It wasn't nothing, you looked like you were really in pain.."

"It was just a nightmare, it didn't mean anything."

His voice seemed oddly cold and distant as he pulled his hand away from yours. He mumbled something about going to the bathroom right quick, telling you to get dressed for school, you'd both be leaving soon.

You frowned softly watching his retreating figure before he was no longer in site. A deep sigh hazed past your lips as you started getting ready, by time you were fully dressed, he was waiting at the front door.

His eyes flickered over the scarf you'd wrapped around your neck, trying to hide the bruising that had started to form. Just as you were about to grab his hand he turned and started leading the way to school.

"Osamu, Are you okay?" He didn't seem to hear you since he just kept walking. He only responded once you'd repeated your question a little louder, walking right next to him.

"Hmm? I'm fine, just thinking about class."

This is how the rest of the day went. You'd call to him but he'd be so lost in his own thoughts he wouldn't be able to hear you. He wasn't even paying attention in the few classes you had together, getting almost every question a teacher would ask him wrong. Which anyone would tell you that knew him, this was a glitch in the matrix if there ever was one, he never got questions wrong even if he seemed uninterested.

You also noticed how he wouldn't let you touch him. Every time you wanted his hand, or to lean on his shoulder he'd pull away saying he felt tired or sleepy.

By time lunch rolled around, you wanted to sit in his lap and eat lunch like you always did. However, as you waited and waited by the stairs to the roof..he never came. After about 15mins, you decided to just head to the roof..figuring maybe he'd gotten caught up helping a teacher or something.

"Rabbit there you are." Looking up you spotted the familiar blue eyes of your darling Mad Hatter, Chuuya. You sighed as you walked over and sat next to him, before opening your lunch and practically shoving food down your throat.

"Oh no. What's wrong, Rabbit?" He knew you more than anyone, probably even more than Dazai did. He knew something was up when you wouldn't even respond to his simple greeting.

"I honestly don't know.." You mumbled munching your food, making Chuuya tilt his head curiously before you continued. "Dazai's being..weird..and distant.." Rolled the words off your tongue, honestly unsure of how to describe the situation.

"Of course its about him.." You can't help but laugh at the roll of his eyes before he sighs asking what happened.

Even though you want to tell him what happened, you feel like its more personal for Dazai. Telling someone like Chuuya he's having nightmares, feels wrong. They do have this rivalry and a certain hatred for each other.

"He's not up here having lunch with me..." You pout to Chuuya, sticking out your bottom lip leaning your head against his shoulder batting your eyes adorably at him. He rolls his eyes even deeper to the back of his head, pulling at your cheeks with a tick mark on his forehead.

"Is that it?"

"But I mwiss him!~" You cutely slurred just to annoy him, which earns you a pinch or two making you both laugh, before it turns into an all out tickle war.

At least your mad hatter knows how to make you feel better. He didn't even have to know what really was making you sad, just him being himself with you was enough.

What you didn't know though was foggy brown eyes were watching you from the crack in the door to the roof. He was going to make up some excuse for not being here earlier but the moment he started opening the door he saw you leaning your head against Chuuya's shoulder and it made him pause. He couldn't hear what you both were talking about, but he saw you laughing and joking around. His hazy eyes narrowed gripping the doorknob with such force his knuckles were turning white.

After observing you for a minutes he decided to leave, you'd both have to go back to class in a minute anyway. Even though deep down he missed being around you, he was glad that you weren't focusing on how he'd injured you.

Classes resumed normally after lunch they were same as usual, up until the last class with Ranpo-sensei. Even your egocentric History teacher knew something was up with Dazai, when he wasn't rising to your usual challenges.

By time class was over Ranpo-sensei, had already smacked Dazai in the head with an eraser twice for not paying attention. Your handsome boyfriend, would laugh and apologize, promising to pay attention but he seemed so...lost in reverie. The smile on his lips looked so chaste and forced, that it made your heart ache.

The walk home was so silent, it was unnerving in a way. Again you wanted to at least hold his hand while you walked back, but the moment you tried to slide into his hand he actually flinched from your touch and jerked away.

When he turned and saw the look on your face, the complete look of misery like you'd done something unforgivable..his heart sank. He quickly turned away from you and forced out a laugh to dissuade everything painful that was bubbling inside him, "I'm sorry (Y/n), my hand is cold I don't want you to get cold too."

Your steps slowed into soft padding, till you were just standing there letting him leave you behind watching him get further and further away while your heart sunk into the pit of your stomach. Looking down at your hand, a solitary tear ebbed its way down the side of your cheek plopping to the cold concrete bellow.

"...Then let me hold it..I'll gladly warm it up.."

For the first time in awhile, a night in Dazai's house was quiet. He barely talked to you, he was unable to sit next to you very long before getting up and creating distance between you.

It was your turn to make dinner, but he insisted that he do it and declined your offer to help. While sitting at the table eating, it wasn't full of a comfortable silence like it used to was just full of solitude. The waves in the air felt almost murky and malleable, that all you could hear was the nervous thump to your heart that echoed a melody that this dream of bubbly romance was coming to an end.

When you were ready for bed you were actually really happy. Because that meant he'd finally hold you, he'd wrap his arms around your smaller frame and hold you against his chest. He'd kiss your forehead or maybe a gentle kiss on the lips, either you'd be grateful for. Just any kind of his affection would reaffirm your feelings for each other and put some of your darker thoughts at ease.

"Osamu, are you ready for bed?"

"Give me a few minutes, I'm reading ahead in this book for tomorrows class."

You nodded your head even though he didn't look up form his books pages. Turning you trailed into your shared bedroom, putting on something comfortable before sitting on the edge of the bed.

After just sitting there for about 10minutes, you slid down and rested your head against the pillow. Another 10minutes went by, as you flopped in bed back and forth, wondering what was taking him so long.

Eventually your eyes got so tired just laying in bed, that you finally feel asleep without him. That night you felt an unknown sense of cold, not just from the emptiness of your bed..but from the emptiness in your heart.

You woke up to a cold empty bed, it was just you and his undisturbed pillows. After you'd gotten up form bed, you found him sleeping on the couch. His book was resting on his chest, so you assumed he just feel asleep while reading it.

However, evidence was clear this was starting to become a pattern. He was abnormally distant, wouldn't let you hold his hand or touch him in general. He stopped coming to the roof for lunch, and instead said he was helping a fellow classmate in that downtime.

It was unusual for him to offer to help someone, but if he was making more friends you didn't want to stop him.

At night in his living room, he would just study or read his books. He was so quite, stopped showing you his wonderful smile, and hadn't touched you in anyway in days.

You missed his warm hands holding you, you missed his lips giving you a sensual or passionate kiss, you even missed how he admired and pleasured your body in a way only your lover would be able to.

Every night since his nightmare you'd slept alone, in his bed feeling lonely and heartbroken

Does he not love me anymore? Did I do something to upset him? Why wont he talk to me if I did?

"Osamu...Tomorrow we don't have school, I was wondering if you'd like to go see a movie or go out to dinner, it'd be my treat." You sat next to him on the couch placing your hand tenderly on his knee making sure you had his attention.

"Hmm..It's tempting but no thanks (Y/n)." He wiggled his leg away from your grasp, burring his nose back in another one of his books.

A painful throb resounded inside your heart, the man you loved was right here but he actually felt miles away.

Look at me.

"Oh..I see.."

Look at me please.

"Osamu, Are you mad at me?" Your voice was the tiniest whisper, heart pounding so loudly in your chest you were 1000% sure he could hear it.

He finally lowered his book, looking towards your face. "What was that (Y/n)?" His brown eyes looked into your own with a curious kitty-like head tilt.

You forced a smile, "It was nothing, I'm gonna head to bed." Standing you stretched before walking towards the bed room. "Try not to stay up all night reading." You called to him softly, the moment you closed his door you placed a hand on it as if reaching for him.

"Good night, Osamu."

With you separated from the light in your life tears were streaming down your cheeks, pooling in a puddle on the floor. It was miracle you weren't sobbing, as you clenched a hand over your heart.

Hello Darkness, my old friend.

I guess I've been dreaming of the perfect romance sense I met him.

"Maybe it was never real..." You croaked, shaking your head while you lost yourself into the reverie of all your memories where Dazai proved he cared about you over and over again. Both of your hands clawed at the door separating you, wanting to more than anything fling open it's hinges and run into his arms. Would he accept your affection though? Or would he continue to push you away? Thoughts of being shunned kept your feet stunted to the ground, while you cried so hard it wouldn't be surprising if you ended up making yourself sick.

Eventually you hobbled yourself into bed, picking up one of his pillow and hugging it close to your chest. "T-this will's like holding him..its better than nothing.." Even though you smiled more hot globs of tears slid down your face and onto the soft cotton material of his white pillow.

Pressing the pillow close to your face you whiffed it, smiling when you detected a hint of his manly musk. Laying your head down you cuddled the pillow close, easing your eyes shut but even with them closed tears continued to drip down the corners.

Eventually you cried yourself into a loneliness induced sleep, where you hoped to dream of brighter days.

Hours later the door creeks open and in walks your brown eyed boyfriend. Edging over to your side, he watches your chest heave slowly up and down with your sensual breathing. A soft frown adorns his red lips, as he observes the moist trail of tears coating your cheeks and the damp pool on the pillow bellow you.

"Oh (Y/n)..."

He slides a hand against your wet cheeks, wiping your tears away as gently as possible. Lowering himself gently down to his knee's he caresses a slow circle against your skin, before tracing a finger against your perfectly plump pink lips.

"I'm sorry..I'd rather you cry...then risk hurting you again."

His slender fingers slid your hair covering your neck away, just so he can confirm that your neck still has faded hand prints where he nearly strangled you to death. Leaning down he kisses your neck ever so softly over the light hue of pink blemishes.

You murmur in low voice shifting and sliding one of your hands from the pillow hanging it off the bed. "Osamu..." The minute his name escapes your lips a fresh tear starts to glide down your cheeks, an aching expression contorting your features.

Extending his index finger he wipes it away, bending down to kiss your forehead. The gentle feeling of his lips seems to help you relax, as the tension in your face starts to ebb away.

He grabs your hand placing it against his cheek, leaning into your soft skin and closing his eyes hoping to absorb any of the tender and loving worth you used to give him. "I miss sleeping next to you, I miss holding you, I miss your cute lips..."

Turning his cheek he plants a warm kiss against your palm before gently placing it back on the bed. He pets a few slender fingers through your hair, glancing at your lips..drawn to their lush warmth as he starts to lean down...but he pauses right before they touch.

"I'd really like to kiss you..but after making you cry..I don't deserve it."

His voice is such a soft whisper, as he settles on another soft kiss against your forehead. He watches you sleep for a little while, just enjoying having you in his line of sight.

After awhile he finally gets up, making sure you're nice and snug in bed before walking towards the door. As he turns the knob he looks back at you one last time, bawling one of his fists as he pictures himself sleeping in bed with you. Both hands wrapped around your body, caressing your back as you rest on his chest.

"I don't want you to be consumed by my darkness. To protect you, I have to create some distance between us.."


Man don't you just love the taste of your own tears T-T

I hope you guys like this update!

If you did don't forget to drop a comment, or leave me some of them sweet sweet kudos <3

Chapter Text


"Rabbit, you been showing up here almost every night."

Tilting your head up you watched as Chuuya with several books in his arms waited for you to catch up with him. Once you'd caught up to him, you were walking next to each other giving him a small smile.

"I know, I been focusing on my assignments."

"That's rare." He snickered, teasing you playfully how you were usually really lazy when it came to your assignments. Which was true, but for the most part the Boss never got mad at you, never forced you to do them. After all he seemed to understand that they'd get done eventually, and they'd all be done exceptionally well.

"What about bandages, isn't he going to whine if you aren't at home?" He rolled his eyes, obviously not caring if Dazai was even remotely sad without you.

You wouldn't let him see it but you felt a tightness in your chest, at the mention of the man waiting for you at home. At hoped he'd be waiting for you.

"He'll be fine, he knows the mafia is important to me."

Chuuya nodded his head before he excused himself into the warehouse's library. He mentioned he was doing some research on rare paintings, you didn't ask why just assumed that the Mafia might of procured some stolen art pieces, and he was trying to confirm if they were the genuine articles or forgeries.

After leaving your Mad Hatter to finish his business, you trailed yourself back into your office. Truth be told you'd be spending a lot of your nights here most days, just because you convinced yourself that Dazai wouldn't be able to sleep in your bed..if you weren't even their to begin with.

That thought process was the only thing keeping you going at this point. It'd been nearly a month since you'd felt any type of affection from him, being around him was..starting to become really hard. Everything about him made your heart ache.

It wasn't like you couldn't see he was going through something, you even figured it was because of his nightmare..but even when you asked him if he was okay, or if there was anything you could do for him..he just insisted he was fine.

You even got up the courage and re-asked him if he was mad at you, but again.."No, of course I'm not mad at you." He had an unknown flicker in his brown eyes. Even as he said that he seemed to be struggling with something.

Sitting down on the couch in your office you pulled both of your legs close to your chest huddling yourself close together.

I miss him...I wonder if he misses me? He used to always try to convince you to stay home with him, if you said you were going to the Mafia's warehouse. You knew he didn't want you to get hurt, he was always so concerned that you might not come back to him one day...but now here you are..last time you told him you were coming here, he looked at you and told you to be safe.

None of his usual.."Don't go." or "Stay with me and I'll cuddle you to death." or your favorite one that had a tear pricking at the corner of your eye as you recalled it, "Maybe I can seduce you into staying with me."

Sighing you wiped the potential tear away from your eye, as you eased down against the couch. Today would mark the 3rd day in a row, you hadn't slept at his apartment. You still saw him everyday, but when school was over you avoided him just so you wouldn't feel so acutely in your heart how he dismissed you in your entirety.

You were just about to fall asleep when your phone beeped. Sliding it from your pocket you saw it was a message from him.

Osamu: Are you coming back home tonight?

You bit your lip at his question, at least he was bothering to ask. Out of desperation you started to type 'Do you even want me to come back?' but ended up deleting it and instead went with:

(Y/n): I'm not sure.

It wasn't like you couldn't see you were being rather elusive but, so was he. The man you loved wouldn't tell you what was bothering him, so what else could you do but want to avoid him.

He was going through some kind of inner turmoil but you were greedy. After being with him for almost a year, his love was like the needed it or you'd wither away. He, however, wasn't giving it to could feel your purpose of being with him starting to crumble.

You were almost sure he wasn't going to message you back, or if he did it would be a solitary good night. When you heard your phone beep again you were rather surprised in general before your eyes widened at the simple words on the bright screen.

Osamu: Are you avoiding me?

"W-why..." Your lips quivered staring at the screen, your fingers trembled over the keyboard having no idea what to type.

Yes you were. Why did he even care? He was avoiding you just as badly as you were avoiding him. It felt so much worse though when it was coming from him.

Here was a man who'd forced his love on you from the very start and now he wasn't giving you any at all. He was so cruel. How could he make you fall so desperately in love with him, then push you away like he never really loved you at all?

You were falling deeper and deeper into your depression, barely able to hear the notifications from your phone as they came in. You nearly dropped you phone when you realized he was spamming you with several messages.

Osamu: Please come home

Osamu: If you're busy I understand..

Osamu: Just tell me you're okay..

Osamu: Please..

You'd taken so long to respond to his initial texts that he ended up sending please twice in a row. His texts sounded so caring..more caring then any of the words he's said to you face to face in the last several weeks.

"I w-want to see you..I really do.." You whimpered to yourself, in a soft voice wiping at your face. The few tears that managed to slide down your face, made you realize how hot the heat seeping from your skin was.

Taking a deep breath you texted him that you'd be home soon, and asked him to wait up for you. As soon as you were finished with that text, you threw the folders on your desk into an empty draw and bee-lined straight for the exit.

At some point you were running through the building, you passed Aku and Higuchi but you didn't even acknowledge them. All you felt deep in your heart was the desire to see Dazai, to show him how much you truly and deeply cared about him.

Your legs carried you as fast as they could through the night cape of the beautiful city of Yokohama. It didn't matter that you chest was hurting, or your heart was pounding, and it certainly didn't matter who you knocked over in your desperate marathon to see the man you loved.

The moment the door to the apartment came into view, you had a wide smile on your face as if you were coming back from a long trip, and hadn't been able to see him.

You practically feel through the door, the moment you opened it. Smacking against the floor with a soft hiss, "Ow..ow..." You rubbed your knee, trying to soothe the bruise you could feel forming.

"(Y/n), are you okay?"

Oh his soft coffee colored orbs, twinkled with concern as he eased down in front of you, gently lifting your hand so he could see your injury.

He said something but you didn't hear it, you were to busy smiling at him. Admiring all his beautiful features, from his glorious eyes, to smooth creamy skin, and his wonderfully red lightly shaded lips. Even the bathed white bandaged image of his body made him breathtaking, he might not of thought he was perfect but in your eyes he was god tier levels of the entire male specimen.

"(Y/n), why are you so out of breath?"

You didn't even notice how badly you were panting, till he called attention to it. His fingers were softly rubbing against your knee, and you just found yourself swarming with a wonderfully tingly feeling.

"I..h-hah...wanted to..s-show you something.." You panted to him, causing him to blink curiously as you placed both of your hands on his cheeks, before pulling him to meet your lips.

Everything inside you exploded in what you could only describe as pure happiness. You really did love him with all your heart. His lips were as warm, soft and fit perfectly against yours just like you remembered.

Suddenly you back is against the ground, as he turns one kiss into a feverish and desperate make-out. His hands are gliding all over you, from your breasts, to your stomach, and even your legs like he's trying to note the outline of your curves to memory. The body of the woman he loved still something he truly appreciated and valued, for he thought you were beautiful like an angel that descended from up above. He couldn't bring himself to be that greedy though.

Just when you moan into his mouth unable to contain how wonderful his touches felt, does he detach abruptly and pull back. The look in his eyes is one of pure fear as he starts to turn away, you've never seen him look so lost before.

"I can't..."

"NO!" Your shout literally makes him jump as you throw your hands around him, clinging to him desperately. He's so caught off guard by how tightly you're holding him, he doesn't notice you are sobbing till his shirt starts to become wet and moist from your tears.

"(Y-y/n)..Why are you crying..? Please..p-please don't cry.."

"Do you love me?" Your voice croaks to him between sniffles and soft sobs.

His entire body tenses from your question, you can literally feel his own frame shaking in your hands. "W-why would you ask me that..?" His voice is but a soft whisper, like he's utterly lost within himself. Does he answer and doom you to his side forever, where he might hurt you like he did before or..does he set you free and let you flutter away with your intricate and gorgeous butterfly wings?

"Do you love me?" You repeat your question, letting your hands relax before falling to the ground. "If you can't answer me, I'll leave..and you'll never have to see me again." Tears were streaming down the corner of your eyes but you managed to steady you voice.

When you meet his eyes, you've never seen someone look so completely and utterly broken. A painful expression like that ensures without words that you wont leave him when he looks like he might jump of a bridge. Your hands shake as you raise them and press both against his cheeks, smiling at him as softly as you can muster causing more tears to slide down your cheeks.

"Because I love you, and I can see you're hurting...but you wont talk to me."

You pull him to meet your lips ever so slowly whispering ever so softly, "Please talk to me." You get the feeling he might be able to taste your tears, but he doesn't seem to mind as you feel one of his hands slide against your cheek.

The moment you start to pull away, he presses his lips back against yours. Not just once, but a few times..but unlike a moment ago where the kiss was desperate..these kisses are so very slow. You've never been kissed so softly, so gently, as if he thinks you're made of glass and if he's even a little bit rough you'll shatter into pieces.

When he finally pulls away, you pant his name in a soft hazy breath looking up into his foggy brown eyes. He's looking at you in such a strange way that, you have no idea how to describe it, but when he presses both of his hands against your cheeks leaning down for another kiss, you have no intention of fighting it.

For a long while you're just kissing, soft and slow kisses, gentle and enveloping kisses. His hands sway through your hair petting through your soft tresses, in an almost unbeknownst to himself desperate way.

Slowly he pulls away from your red kiss swollen lips, easing his head down to rest against your chest as he wraps both of his hands around your hips. A soft breath leaves your lips hazing into the air, you want to talk to him're afraid to have him retreat away from you.

Instead you slowly slide a hand against his back, and the other into his hair. Petting both in soothingly slow motions, hoping your touch in anyway helps him calm down.

The silence is so very concerning, but you're just simply so happy to have any type of affection from him. Being in his arms once again reaffirms everything you already knew about being ever so deeply in love with him.

"I Love you..." He finally whispers, after what felt like hours gripping his hands around your frame even tighter. "I love you, (Y/n)..deeper than any one man should love another person.."

You can't help the happy tears swelling in your eyes, "Its a love that hurts, almost as much as it burns brightly." You whisper to him.

"Exactly..My's going to hurt you..." His fingers shiver against your hips as he tilts his head to look up at you. "I'm so afraid..of hurting you.."

Oh, Dazai..My love..I knew this was all about your nightmares...

Smiling you pet a hand against his cheek before slowly pulling his hands away from your hips. Pulling them up you place them against your neck and close your eyes, "I'm not afraid of you." You felt him flinch trying to pull his hands away but you held them firmly.

"I know, you'd never hurt me on purpose.

"I know, how lost my life would be without you."

"Please let me help you."

You let your hands slide away from his, keeping your eyes closed giving your trust to him completely. If he wanted to kill you, you would not put up any resistance.

"Oh, (Y/n)..." His fingers slide against your soft silky skin, tracing his fingers against every bone your neck has to offer. He truly could snap your neck, it would be so easy for a man like him..but then he'd no longer have a reason to live.

If you were dead, then he was no longer bound to this world either.

Leaning down he shifts his fingers enough for his lips to have space to kiss your neck. He sucks warmly at your skin, remembering exactly where you sweet spots are. Loving the way you moaned his name, tilting your head away to let him have more access.

He kisses a slow trail from your neck to your parted lips, meeting your eyes when he pulls away. You smile at him, as he places his hand against your cheek caressing it gently. His eyes actually have color back in them, he doesn't look nearly as lost as he did before.

"I missed having you bellow this." He smiles warmly at the beautiful blush that tickles your cheeks, "I missed embarrassing you with my.." He leans down nuzzling his nose along the side of your neck whispering into your ear, "..seductive words"

"Ah..Osamu..I missed you so well.." You whisper to him making him lean away with small frown.

"I've been here..I never left you.."

"But you did, you may have been right here.." you place a hand on his chest, giving him a sad forlorn smile. "But you left me feeling ever so alone..right here." You place a hand over your heart feeling a hot singular tear slide down your cheek.

He kisses your cheek in a soft way wiping away the salty tear, before bringing you to meet his lips. Both of your hands slide around his shoulders, hugging him close to your body, loving the way you can feel his tongue softly and slowly licking around your mouth.

Both of his hands slide down your body, petting over your chest before grabbing your hips as he pulls you to meet his crotch. "Oh Osamu!" You gasp out a surprised moan into his mouth, as he passionately starts to french kiss you.

Your tongues swirl around meeting his passion with your own, the moment he pulls away a hot trail of saliva drips down your lips.
"You asked me if I loved you, I already answered but..I'd very much like to show you."

A soft pant slides passed your parted lips, as you flutter your eyes at him. "Show me." You whisper sliding your hands down your chest, before wrapping them around his back. "My body has always been yours.."

"Oh my Love, you really know how to get a guy all hot and bothered.." He smiles at your soft giggling that echos throughout the otherwise silent house.

He leans his lips down to kiss softly at your neck, sucking on a few different patches of skin leaving you soft pink hickeys. His slender fingers grope around your breasts, kneading the flesh through your shirt.

"Ah..Osamu..." Your soft moans make him want to touch your actual skin, so it only takes a minute for him to unbutton your shirt pressing his lips at the top of your chest before tracing his tongue down the space between your breasts.

Your body is very responsive to his pleasurable caresses and kisses, even though its been a rather long time since he's touched you in a sexual manner.

He leaves the area above your left breast a warm hickey, before sliding his finger under the thin material of your bra, edging it up till your supple skin slides away from the silky material.

You lean your head back moaning his name loudly the moment his hot lips wrap around your perky pink bud, kissing and sucking like he's trying to breath life into it.

He slides a warm circle around your supple flesh, swishing his tongue back and forth between both breasts trying to give them equal attention. As if he's making up for not giving your body the attention he most certainly loved to pleasure you with.

One of his hands caress down your stomach before sliding the zipper to your pants down, so he can edge a few of his fingers into your panties. Your body instantly arches pressing yourself against the floor bellow you, as you moan sharply the moment his finger traces against your lower lips.

"Spread your legs, for me." He whispered into your ear.

Oh tingle. You felt a very sensational surge of desire slide through your body, from such a simple request from your lover. You, of course, had no problem answering such a naughty request from him, he was the man you loved after all..and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want the pleasure you knew he could give you

You panted his name, slowly edging your legs apart. He smiled as he kissed the outline of your ear, before caressing a slow circle around your warm slit. The moment he pressed a few fingers into your folds he groaned into your ear when he felt how instantly slick you'd made his digits.

"You're so wet, my beautiful (Y/n).." His voice husked into your ear as he slid his fingers back and forth. Your cheeks were warm, as he nibbled the ridge whispering something that made your body completely burn.

"Have you been thinking about me fucking you?"

Your heart thumped a few extra beats, as you moaned instantly but it wasn't from his was from the way his fingers curled up and down pressing against your womanly walls. Hell if he distinguished though, he was happy enough thinking you moaned and felt good from his sharp seductive words.

"I w-wont lie..I love the way you t-touch me.." You cover your face with one of your hands trying to hide the maddening blush, but you feel like you just need to be honest at the moment. "You always make me feel..g-good.." You whisper ever so softly.

He chuckles into your ear before using his free hand to slide away your own, "No hiding your cute face, I want to see every micro expression you make..while I pleasure you.."

His words sent a shiver of pleasure through your nerves, even though you could feel how warm the blush on your cheeks was making your skin. You opened your mouth to say something to him, but it turned into a surprised moan when he started thrusting his fingers as deep as he could into your core.

"Ah~ Ah~ Osamu..! S-so fast..!" Your legs clenched around his hand as you moaned over and over again.

He hummed your name delightfully, as he pressed several warm kisses against your jaw before connecting with your lips in a few passionate kisses. Even as his warm tongue circled around your mouth you continued to moan into his.

He quickened his pace when he could feel your walls pulsating against his fingers, in desire for your pleasurable release. Just as he added a third finger, sloshing your womanly arousal and pressing against your throbbing walls did you scream his name clenching your hands around his shoulders leaning your head as far back onto the floor as possible coating his slender digits with your juices.

You panted his name several times as he slid his hand away from your pants. His brown eyes narrowed before licking at his fingers groaning in such a feral way, you thought his animalistic desires were starting to take over.

"Mhm..I nearly forgot how sweet you tasted."

Your eyelashes fluttered at him in an almost shy way but it was more like, anticipation as you waited for the man you loved to really rock your world. You wanted him to make, sweet passionate love to you.

As if reading your mind, He kissed down your chest and stomach grabbing your pants and panties sliding them both down your legs. You even lifted up your ass helping, making him smile at you in the most loving way as he tossed your cloths to the side.

His hazel brown eyes held a hazy air of lust to them as he washed his eyes over your completely naked body. You didn't bother trying to hide yourself, because he's seen you and all your entirety several times before.

"You're so...breathtaking.." he whispers gliding his hands up your legs slowly grazing his slender fingers over your clit just to hear your breath hitch and feel your body jitter.

Easing away from you for but a moment he slides off all of his cloths, unzipping his pants revealing a very hard cock that seemed to be twitching in anticipation.

Looming back over your body he nipped at both of your breasts grabbing the bud between his lips letting it go with a slick pop just to watch them bounce. "Ah, teasing, it's mean.." You moaned to him, but when he chuckled you couldn't help but giggle ever so softly as well.

" more teasing.." Both of his hands slid down to your hips caressing them, before he pressed his own forward sliding his cock between your folds in one swift fluid motion.

"Oh!~ Osamu!~" Your hands gripped a hold of his shoulders, as he immediately started thrusting back and forth making your moans go from low to loud in seconds. His lips demanded more kisses as he roughly kissed you already swollen lips. Devouring everything that hazed from your mouth, in an effort to fill his lungs with the sound of your voice and the warmth of your breath.

Your moans hazed right into his soft and delightful lips, feeling warm saliva pool at the back of your throat. His hands started gripping your flesh harder and harder, no doubt leaving you maybe a scratch mark or two but you didn't care at all.

It felt so good...It felt so utterly amazing to make love with the man who owned your heart. Every doubt you had about him not wanting to be with you seemed so silly. Those lonely nights by yourself in his bed, seemed tolerable if this is where it would bring you in the end.

"Osamu~ I love you so much!~" You moaned to him loudly as you tossed your head back nearly smacking it against the ground.

His sweaty palms slid to the bottom of your ass where he pushed and pulled you to aggressively meet with his hip thrusts, wrapping his teeth around your neck lost in his hungry desire for you. Why did he ever think pushing you away was ever the right idea? Even to him he admitted he wasn't really in his best mind, and tactical planning was his specialty. However, it would seem emotions of the heart and love were still unknown territory and he wasn't sure just how close he should be to you.

Your moans only got even louder as you felt him leave you a passionate bite mark, the pain was masked by the overwhelming pleasure coursing throughout your entire body.

Both of you were gripping each others sweaty bodies, making the hot raunchy aroma of sex coat the air, as you squeezed your legs around him as tightly as you could muster, screaming out a pleasurable orgasm. He even groaned an extremely hot breath into your ear, as you felt his warm arousal coating your inner thighs.

He slid down against your body resting his head on top of your breasts, panting against your skin as he tried to catch his breath. Once again like earlier he wrapped both of his hands around your hips, closing his eyes.
"Lets just sleep right here, I promise I'll keep you warm."

Alright.." Smiling you slid your hands against his back as you eased your eyes closed, you'd never felt so least not since he started shutting you out.

"Osamu, I'm..I'm here to when ever you're ready..I'd like to know why your nightmares cause you so much pain."


Steamy!~ Floor sex xD Basically on the ground in the hallway in front of the door.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to leave me a comment if you did, i appreciate all of them!

As well as those sweet sweet kudos <3

Chapter Text


After the night on the floor, Dazai stopped avoiding you. No longer did you sleep in bed by yourself with just the memory of his warmth. Once again you got to feel how wonderful it was to be held in his muscular arms.

"Give me some time to think (Y/n)."

Was his response to you wanting to learn more about his nightmares. You didn't mind waiting, but you made sure he understood if he loved you..pushing you away was not the answer.


"You bandaged asshole, I knew you'd done something to my Rabbit!" Hissed Chuuya, as he glared fiercely at Dazai hands gripped around the collar of his school blazer. "I could see her struggling with something, but she likes to keep things to herself..but I know...I ALWAYS KNOW WHEN SHE'S HURTING..!" he grabs Dazai hoisting him off his feet, azure eyes wavering with a hatred you'd never seen before.

"M-mad Hatter?!" You scampered to his side holding his shoulder trying to tell him, you were alright that everything was fine..but he didn't even turn to you.

"How many times do I have to fucking witness you break her heart?!" His voice was seething with anger, as he gripped Dazai collar, practically strangling him in the process.

Your eyes dashed between your boyfriend and your Hatter, wondering what you should do..but this seemed to be a manly thing..and you should just let them deal with it. Chuuya was only upset because he genuinely cared about you, that was one of the things you understood very clearly.

"Chuuya." Dazai's voice was oddly dark and unusually cold like ice. He slapped both of your hatters hands away, sliding his own bandaged hands in his pockets. "It's fine to care about you friend, but don't you think somethings between (Y/n) and I, are none of your business." It wasn't even a question, it was a statement that told him to mind his own business. Those brown orbs becoming listless once again as he thought about the darkness inside him he was having trouble telling you about.

His words only made your hatter seethe in a completely unadulterated type of rage. You watched gloved hands slide into his back pocket unsheathing his switchblade. A frown spread to your lips, got the feeling even if you stepped forward you wouldn't be able to stop them.

"I'm heading to class.." You called to them, turning towards the front gate of school. You knew neither would care about fighting right in front of all the teachers, so they needed to handle this beef they least for the moment before someone got Neko-sensei on them.

"Please don't kill each other."

Both of them turned towards you, watching your retreating figure as you made your way into the building. Chuuya gripped his knife in his hand tighter, he didn't tell you but..he was also pissed at you for not telling him. He expected you to come to him when you were sad..he may not have been your lover but he cared about you in a very passionate way.

"All this fighting is making my beautiful (Y/n) sad." Dazai sighed heavily, meeting azure daggers with his own intense hazed ones.

"You bastard..don't act like you care..when all you did was fucking make her sad in the first place!" Chuuya roared, swiping his knife clearly trying to cut out one of his eyes, but he dodged back stepping a few times.

"That..was never my intention." He mumbled using Chuuya's powerful thrust of his knife against him, as he grabbed his wrist and flipped him backwards wanting to toss him to the ground but Chuuya had amazing balance landing on his feet.

"It doesn't's what you did..I had to see a fake smile on her face for weeks." Chuuya stabbed and swayed his knife over and over, making Dazai back up and dodge left and right. "I thought I could leave her to you, after she wouldn't listen to me in the first place..but.."

A slash of his knife cuts the shirt and skin of Dazai's shoulder, making him huff narrowing his eyes. Chuuya knocks Dazai backwards, with a swipe of his feet quickly pressing his knee against his chest and the blade of the knife against his neck barely cutting him. His hand presses at the wound on his shoulder making him hiss.

"All you do is make her suffer. When do you plan to fucking make her happy?"

Dazai's eyes widen, images of the days in the beginning coming to his head. When he first told Chuuya those very words..'I'm going to make (Y/n) happy..' ..his eyes lower the fist he was going to punch with lowered till his palm was against the ground.

A moment of silence has Chuuya getting angrier and angrier, the blade of his knife threatening to just decapitate his former partner unless he hurries up and gives him a proper answer.

"I want her to be happy." He finally says, his curly brown locks covering his eyes as he starts to speak in an almost defeated tone. "I don't think she can be happy with me.."

Chuuya drops his knife catching Dazai completely off guard as he punches him in the face. However, your bandaged boyfriend grabs Chuuya's long orange hair pulling it hard enough for him to return his own punch.

This goes back and forth till Dazai has a black eye coughing up blood, as he tries to steady the fact that he might have a concussion and Chuuya has a bloody nose and busted lip.

Both of them are panting heavily, usually in this situation boys would communicate with their firsts..but this..this is just punching the shit out of each other cause they are both angry at the way you suffer.

"You waste of piece of have no idea do you.." Chuuya seethes bawling both of his fists, "You used to be always had a plan and knew how to end the situation in your favor..but when it comes to really are the stupidest bastard I've seen."

Dazai spits on the floor panting trying to catch his breath.

"'I don't think she can be happy with me..' you say..but all you did was work out the issue and she's already completely over how devastated you made her feel!" Brown eyes widen as Chuuya grips his collar again, "Pushing her away just makes her sad, talking to her makes her happy. IT'S SO FUCKING SIMPLE!" He screams his eyes shaking with the intense anger he feels.

"I would kill you in a heartbeat...but she would never speak to me again." Chuuya shoves him to the floor making him smack against the ground with a painful groan. "That's the only reason I don't end you right here."

Chuuya turns shaking his head, trying to steady the blur he can feel coming to his eyes. He let Dazai get off to many punches making him feel a bit woozy.

"I hated you cause we had the same goal..and I could never be the one to full fill it." He spat blood forming in his mouth on the floor picking up his dagger. "She's the happiest I've ever seen with you...however, she's also the saddest I've ever seen."

"It makes me want to kill you, a literal conundrum that I cannot get rid matter what."


With those last words Chuuya leaves, not even bothering to go to school. He'll just send you a text later, but when you see should understand what went down.

Dazai just lays on the ground, not caring at all who passes him by. Every one of Chuuya's words echoing in his head, even though he doesn't want them too. He knew he was right, he was so right that it was disgusting.

Not bothering to go to school either, he heads home to wait for your return. After all those words he burns with such intense desire to see you, but doesn't want to draw attention at school. He also realizes, that he needs to be honest with you.


When Chuuya texted you during lunch, that he wasn't coming to school you frowned. You just dearly hoped he wasn't hurt to bad.

The thought of him being hurt had your mind trailing to Dazai..just how bad was he hurt?

Not just his body..but inside his mind?

I want to see him so bad. I want to hold him in my arms, and tell him everything will be alright. I want my love to save him, but am I able to?

School seemed to drag on forever, but when it was finally over you jogged home. Telling Atsushi, to have a good day before speeding past him. Your white haired tiger seemed to be worried about you, as he called out but it seemed you had something important to do so he didn't try to stop you.

Walking through the door to your shared apartment you tossed off your shoes calling out to him, and smiled when he answered saying he was on the couch.

"I'm ho-" You started to say as you walked towards the couch but immediately paused at the site of his beat up face. "What the hell?!" You screamed dropping down to his side, placing your fingers delicately on both sides of his cheeks examining his many bruises.

He chuckled smiling at the soft touch of your fingers, "It's not as bad as it looks.." he murmured telling you not to worry to much about the injuries.

You sighed heavily with a frown before speaking, "I can't be mad that his happened..Just tell me Chuuya walked away in okay shape?" When he nodded you sighed in relief before wrapping both hands around his neck pulling him closer.

"I'm glad that you're okay.."

His lips curved down, again he was making you unhappy. Both of his hands wrapped around hugging you tightly, pressing his nose against the side of your neck.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry."

"It's okay..but.." You pushed at his shoulders getting him to back up, one of your hands pressed against his cheek trying not to apply to much pressure, as to not hurt his bruises. "Will you trust me with your darkness? So that I can save you, like you saved me?"

His eyes widened, before cupping your cheeks pulling you to meet with his lips. A slow kiss sends warmth through ever part of your body, almost like..if you could be so powerful as to..take some of his pain away.

"I did a lot of things in the Mafia, that I'm not proud of." He spoke softly pulling away, "I think you know more than anyone..that people who live that life never had a chance to be a normal-kind of happy."

Your head nodded, thoughts of your abusive mother dancing through your head. Even more so Chuuya's family who kicked him out, forcing him to join a gang just to survive.

What kind of life did Dazai have to join the mafia?

"From a young age, I was adopted under the care of Mori Ougai." When your eyes widen he nods his head, "He was my guardian, after a fire killed both of my parents..that I started." Both of your hands grip his staring at him in complete disbelief.

"I.." His eyes glaze over, you can see the murky cloud of his passed consuming him. "I..don't care that they died, but I never meant to kill them.." His hands pull away from yours to grip his head, "I was never allowed to go outside, I was never allowed to have friends...All I ever knew from a young age was..darkness."

Your lips quiver, he really had such a terrible life. Your heart is crumbling into pieces, the man in front of you is capable of so much love..and yet he was deprived of it for most of his known existence.

"When I was 7, I found a way to pick the lock on my door..I just wanted to make something to eat.." His voice starts to tremble, you've never seen him look so troubled. "I was just hungry..I turned the burner to the stove on..but I knocked this oil into the flame..Fire spread within seconds.."

"Osamu..please, its don't have to-"

"The house was engulfed in flames, I broke a window managing to escape but.." His nails dig into the side of his face making his bruises worse. "They were burned alive..I can still hear their screams..." A sickly grin edges up his thin lips, that sends a twinge to your heart.

Thrusting yourself on top of him you knock him backwards hugging him as tight as you can muster, letting a few tears trail down your face plopping against the side of his neck. "That's enough!" You scream clutching him, shedding the tears you know he wishes he could.

"Thank you for surviving." You whisper to him.

For a moment, the shadows that were attached to the bottom of his heart disappear. No one has ever been thankful that he survived that fateful day, not even himself. He wished he could die so bad, till he read a file about a girl named Miss black. She reminded him a wonderful friend he had back in his mafia days, that taught him sometimes life is worth living. She was strong willed and not cruel without purpose. The picture that came with her file made him realize for the first time how much he was attracted to someone.

His hands squeeze you tightly against him, pressing your bodies so close together he wished you could be one person. For a long time you just let the silence, cover you both refusing to let him go.

He might not of known it but his body was trembling, a desperate need for any kind of warmth, which you were more than happy to give.

Lifting your head, you meet his eyes before giving him a soft kiss. When you pull away, the look in your eyes makes him realize you still believe him to be your everything. Learning his past did not change your view of him, like it should of any normal person.

"I can't still look at me with such devotion.." He whispered, making you gasp when he pinched your cheek. "Are you sure you're a real person?"

You laugh softly, leaning your head down against his. "I'm as real as you are. I still love you so much, if your story has done anything..its helped me understand your pain..and I'm grateful."

He suddenly pushes your head down against his chest, where you murmur his name in soft confusion but he asks you to be still for just a second. With a slight nervous thump to your heart you close your eyes and rest against him, what you didn't know was the few tears he was shedding.

It was a soft silence that followed for a good while, his thoughts remembering something a woman from the orphanage he was in before Mori took him in said.

"You're not even human!" She berated him with ugly words, making the small child do nothing but blink his lifeless mud colored eyes.

"This child never does anything! He wont laugh, he wont smile, he never cries..he's like an emotionless doll! Can we please..get rid of him he makes me so uncomfortable." The woman pleaded.

"That's no way to treat a child." Spoke a man with black hair and dark purple eyes. His smile looked somewhat sweet, but hidden behind that face was something sinister. "I'd actually like to look into adopting this young lad."

"Sir, this child is..different we have other children-"

"Not necessary." He cut her off, giving the young brown haired child covered in bandages a smile. He bent down to his knee's so he could be eye level, "This isn't the right place for you, would you like to come with me? I can give you a chance explore your darkness."

"Osamu..Are you okay? Can I lift my head? I just want to know you're okay."

Your words jar him back to reality, wiping at his face he coughs trying to clear his throat and nose as to not alert you to his teary eyed state.

"(Y/n) you think I'm human?"

Your head lifts, looking into his eyes with surprise and concern. Your hand presses against his chest hard enough to feel his heartbeat, giving him a stern look as you whisper.

"You're the most human person, I've ever seen."


This is my favorite chapter to have written.

I'm crying but..I loved it. It was amazing haha..

hope you guys enjoyed it as well, don't forget to comment or leave kudos!<3

Chapter Text


It was warm sleeping next to your boyfriend and lover, whom had his hands resting against your back hugging you close to his chest.

Sometimes you thought about how devastating it felt to sleep by yourself. How he had ignored you showing you no love for almost an entire month. However, It was impossible to bring yourself to hate him.

He was the very air you needed to breath to survive in this world. His kisses were hot and addictive, your own personal drug you could never get enough up. He was like the sun, he shined so brightly..that if you were to close you might just start to burn.

Those chocolate brown eyes seemed to reflect the darkness this world had, or maybe they displayed the evil he was capable of? None of that mattered to you though, you'd told him his eyes merely reflected how much pain he could feel. How sensitive he was to this realities sins and cruelty.

Like a sponge he soaked them up acting like every crime committed, only happened because he was still alive. It was heart breaking to learn, he didn't feel like he deserved to live. If only he would listen to you when you told him, how precious his life was.

"I..It's not my fault.."

His voice jars you from a comfortable sleep. Lifting your head from his chest, it takes but a moment to realize he was having a nightmare. His face was scrunched up, pale and covered in sweat. His entire body looked like it was shaking, making you notice how his hands had fallen away from your back.

"Shh, It's okay.." You whispered softly sliding closer to him, petting a few fingers gently over his clammy cheek. "It's only a nightmare, I'm here.." You assured, swishing some of his hair that had clung to his face behind his ear.

Suddenly both of his hands dart out of no where, clamping around your back so hard his nails started to dig into your skin. You managed to stifle the hiss of pain before it left your mouth, by clamping your teeth down against your lips.

He pulled you smack against his trembling body, burring his face against your chest. One of your hands slid against his back caressing him and soothing circles whispering soft encouraging words that made sure he knew you wouldn't leave him.

It made your heart ache, to see a man like him so fragile. He was like a newborn baby in the way he clung to your body for warmth and comfort.

"It's okay, Shh..Nightmares can't hurt you..I'll protect you.." You whispered softly to him, sliding a hand through his curly brown tresses. The way you were petting him seemed to help him calm down, as his body slowly stopped shaking but he was still clinging to you, holding tight.

"N-no..don't take her.." His voice held a frightened tremor, as his hands squeezed you against his muscular chest. "Anyone..b-but her.."

You kept whispering to him with furrowed brows wondering if he was having a dream, where he was scared he might be losing you. The fingers digging into the thin material of your nightshirt, seemed to be shivering. You could feel the small sear of pain from the scratches he'd given your skin, but you didn't mind.

Tilting his head up you leaned down till your lips were right next to his ear, "Follow the red string, Osamu. We were connected, since the moment we were both born." Smiling softly you whispered to him a story about fate, love and soulmates.

"You'll always be able to find me, once you follow that string."

His hands that were squeezing you so tightly, suddenly relax. The heavy breathing he was hazing against your chest, slowed down till he was breathing in gently. It brought a smile to your lips to see his face slowly relax till it was almost serene looking.

"There we go, you found me.." Petting his hair you congratulated him, on all his hard work. Telling him all his efforts were never in vein, as long as he tried his best. You might of been speaking to him like a child, but he needed to know everything was okay.

Slowly he pulls himself away, lifting his head up easing open his softly faded brown eyes. For a moment he looks lost, till he slides one of his hands up against your cheek caressing the skin. It's like he's confirming that you're indeed right in front of him, as you give him an encouraging smile.

"(Y/n)..I..what was I...?" He shakes his head pulling away from you to sit up. Wiping at both of his eyes muttering how sweaty his face feels, like he didn't even know he was having a nightmare.

"You were having another bad dream.." You whispered to him, sliding your hand into his as you sat up and leaned against his shoulder. "Are you okay, Osamu?"

He squeezed your hand, but didn't say anything. Even with his eyes wide open, it looked like he was still stuck in his nightmare. You weren't sure what to say so you simply waited for him to recover his whits.

Closing his eyes, he could see everything in his nightmare-like wonderland so vividly. From the intense way every eye he looked at sneered with disgust, to the scowling faces of his parents who'd locked him up refusing to let even a little sunlight touch his skin, and even the lifeless eyes of the people in the mafia he killed or had taken out for him.

His other hand slid up to cover his face, trying to hide the scowl rising from his lips. He felt so disgusting, even the scars on his body were hideous to him.

"Osamu, Talk to me.." You whispered, frowning at the way his hand was shaking. Turning to him you slid your other hand against his cheek, sliding his own away to look into his eyes. "I'm here for you, please tell me what's bothering you."

His eyes softened looking into your own, but he shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to burden you with thoughts that were weighing him down. "It's alright..I'll be fine.." He whispered, but the smile on his face just made you frown.

"You're not fine, I can see you're hurting..right here.." You placed a hand over his heart, pressing your hand against his chest. "You really don't have to keep all your pain to yourself, I want to help you..share a little bit of your burden with me." you pleaded with him, sliding into his lap wrapping both of your legs around his waist. It was a very intimate position but you didn't care, you wanted to be close to him.

He smiled softly, sliding his hands around your back as he leaned forward and placed his head against your chest. "I'm scared I'll lose you..that's one of my deepest fears.." His soft voice whispered, hugging you close to him.

"I thought that might be one of the things bothering you." Sliding your hand into his hair you petted gently through his unruly locks, leaning down to kiss his head. "I'm right here though, and I'll always be right here."

Your words made him squeeze you tighter, lifting his head meeting your gorgeous eyes. Both of your hands wrap around his neck leaning down to give him a passionate kiss. His hands caressed gently around your back, loving the soft feeling of your lips.

"You make me feel like, I get a second chance.." He whispered, easing away from your warm lips. "Like all the sins I've committed, can be absolved and's to good to be true though.." He shook his had, sighing in an almost defeated way.

"I don't really think your sins need to be absolved or forgiven." You spoke to him in a soft way getting him to lift his head, as he tilted his eyes at you curiously. "This darkness is apart of you, it will always be apart of you." Your hands slide against his cheeks caressing his skin gently with your finger tips.

"However, that darkness isn't all you are. There is so much more to you."

His chocolate eyes widen, suddenly remembering something his one and only true friend ever said to him. Images of a familiar bar, the sweet aroma of whiskey, and a too smart for its own good cat he'd named Sensei.

"Dazai, I see new bandages again." Spoke the deep voice of his dear friend, Oda Sakunosuke. Known better to him as Odasaku, because they were rather close.

"These?" A brown eye blinked innocently, his hands gesturing to the white cotton around his neck and right eye. "You see Odasaku, I was running to the bathroom and I tripped." His finger does a spiraling motion as he laughs in a nonchalant way.

"I see." Those blue eyes never bothered asking for the real story, if Dazai had something to say to him he'd say it. It was never worth berating him with questions, specially if he wasn't the type to give a truthful answer.

"Ah, The night is so perfect. A time specifically made for the Mafia." Dazai spoke sipping from his cup of whiskey, "Everything is covered in darkness, just like I am so we're perfect together."

Odasaku, taps a finger against the edge of his glass before taking a drink. "Night is covered by darkness, but just like you, that's not all there is to it." He spoke softly, no hidden meaning or words just speaking what he knew to be the truth.

Brown eyes turn to his friend, tilting his head before chuckling. "I suppose there are other things to the night, but don't you think it can only prosper because its dark?" His finger tapped the table in a curious fashion.

"Night prospers because of more than then the darkness, there are always stars and the moon in the sky even if you can't see them." Odasaku turns to Dazai, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I suppose you still need to find your star."

"Find my star..." He mumbles coming back to reality, tilting his head up surprising himself when he see's just how bright your eyes are. He'd be lying if he said they weren't sparkling, almost glowing..showing him there was so much more than the cold temperature of his darkness.

Immediately he surprises you by pulling your cheeks down for a steamy kiss that steals all your breath away. His hands slide into your hair, pressing his warm tongue passed your parted lips tasting every part your cavern has to offer.

"Ah, Osamu.." You moan softly into his mouth, pressing a hand against the back of his head loving the feeling of his fluffy tresses. His hair is just as addicting as his lips are, making you crave more and more of him.

Eventually he pulls away when you both need air, only to trail his lips down your neck. He must like the taste of your skin as much as you like the press of his lips, as he kisses and sucks leaving you a possessive hickey or two.

"Mhm, Osamu, I love the way your lips feel~" Your words come out in an almost purr, as you lean your head back just enough letting him have complete access to your neck.

A soft chuckle escapes as he, slides his hands down against your lower back before moving to rest against your ass. He presses your body into his, getting you to arch forward as he licks down the side of your soft slender skin.

"You fit so perfectly pressed into my body, and in my arms..and against my cock~" He whispered seductively with a toothy grin, relishing in the bright blush on your cheeks. Reaching down he unzipped his pants pulling them down just enough to reveal his well endowed manhood.

"Osamu.." You whisper with a flutter of desire behind your eyes, as you lifted up your shirt and tossed it off. Your breasts were on full display, since you hadn't worn a bra to bed. Lifting yourself up, you blushed darkly at the smirk on his handsome face as you slide your panties to the side angling yourself over the tip of his cock.

"I see you want me too, my love~" He chuckles, pulling off his shirt tossing it to the floor leaving himself nearly naked besides his many bandages. Both of his hands slide around your hips, before pressing you down against his member.

"Ah, Osamu~, Oh~ So deep inside me~" You moan to him sliding both of your hands around his neck hugging him close to your body.

"Mhm, your body is so warm and perfectly contorts to my shape~" He teases, not letting you respond before his hands start bouncing your body up and down against his. Your moans haze directly into his ear as your breasts press up against his chest.

"Lean back, I gotta show your breasts some love too~" Even though your cheeks tickled with a blush you leaned back for him, arching your back moaning delightfully the moment his lips wrapped around one of your nips sucking and licking.

"Ah!~ Oh!~ Don't pull it!~" You whimpered as his teeth nipped at your rosy bud, pulling it between his teeth like a frisky little puppy. Your eyes were completely pleasure hazed, as you felt warm marks starting to appear on your chest. Even the way his cock was mixing up your insides, was sending you to heaven.

Both of his hands gripped the back of your ass squeezing and kneading your soft flesh, he even had a firm hold of your skin as he bounced you fast and deep against his manhood. Your moans were so loud, that the neighbors probably knew your lovers name in excruciating detail by now.

"Mhm, You're squeezing me so tight (Y/n)~" He groaned huskily, lifting your body up only to angle you back down against his girth faster and deeper.

"Oh my god!~ Right there!~ Ah!~ Osamu!~" You whimpered and moaned his name, feeling your body pulsate against his manly muscle. Your slick arousal, was perfectly coating his cock making him rock your world with complete ease.

He knew how close you were as your begs got louder and more frequent, and even the way your fingers pressed into his skin a desperate need for stability that you most certainly weren't getting.

With a grip of his fingers he slammed you down against him just a few more times before your entire body convulsed, womanly folds squeezing his length as you screamed his name. As soon as he felt the warmth of your juices he pulled your body off his cock, groaning your name as he coated your inner thigh with his slick seed.

Your body fell lax against his, panting and breathing in deeply. It made you smile to feel how warm his skin was, and the breathy sound of his own deep panting. For a moment your eyes landed on the bandages around his neck, before casting lower noting the rest of his cotton ribbons.

"Osamu, may I take off your bandages? I want to see all of your body."

There was a moment of silence before he whispered, "No, My scars are ugly." He held onto your body tightly, no letting you see his face.

You frowned tracing a soft finger around the cotton bandages against his neck, "I don't care, You're the most handsome person I've ever seen..and your body is beautiful no matter what." Even though he said no your fingers pulled gently at the ribbons around his neck, unfurling them to reveal scar riddled skin.

Leaning forward your lips pressed against his neck, kissing gently at all his faded wounds. It wasn't lost on you how his entire body flinched, at the actual skin contact from the loss of his bandages.

"I said no..." He whispered, but made no moves to push you away or tell you to stop again. Maybe a part of him was just as curious as he was afraid to show you the disgusting scars the consumed his body.

"I know, It's okay to be mad at me. But I wont stop, I need to see the man I love in his entirety." Pressing at his chest, you got him to back up albeit reluctantly so you could show him an encouraging smile while your hands slid down his chest.

Delicately your fingers slide all over his bandaged muscular body, unfurling every single ribbon he wore on his skin like everyday clothing. Even the ribbons around his arms and wrists, you unwound tossing them to the floor.

You even surprised him when you pulled his pants the rest of the way off, as well as sliding your own panties off your body. This way both of you were completely and utterly naked.

Even as your cheeks warmed watching his eyes slide up and down your body, you smiled at him pressing your hands against his chest outlining his many faded injuries before leaning down to kiss a few of them.

"You have scars Osamu, but that doesn't change who you are."

He seemed a little lost without his bandages, like this was the first time since he was born that anyone has ever removed them. His hand pressed against his chest and stomach, almost trying to hide his scars before he sighed.

"You're the only one..whose seen all of me." He whispers lifting his brown eyes, "I don't like taking off my bandages..these scars are hideous..I wish you didn't have to see them.." He frowned, looking forlorn and defeated.

"Oh Osamu.." you whispered, wrapping your arms around him pulling him to lay with you on the bed. "I still think you're beautiful." Smiling to him you caressed his chest with a few of your fingers, smiling at him in the gentlest way you could muster.

He covered his face with one of his hands, trying to hide the completely foreign happy feeling rising in his body. Never has he felt complete acceptance from one person..well there was one other..but he's gone now.

Wrapping his arms around you, he hid his face in the crook of your neck. It took you a moment to feel something cold plop against your neck, but you merely held him. Letting him lament his feelings as he needed.

"I found my star..."


Mafia drama next chapter! Mori's keeping secrets from you. As well as obvious secrets he's keeping from Dazai.

What are these secrets and how will they affect your relationship!?

Did you like this chapter? Don't forget to leave them sweet sweet kudos if you please <3

Chapter Text

Sometimes I wish you could of been my Alice, rather than my Rabbit.


"Mad Hatter!"

Azure eyes turned up just in time to see a flash of (h/c) hair, before he was knocked back on the ground with a huff. He shook his head grumbling but he already knew who the person dog piling him was.

"Rabbit for fucks sake, are you trying to kill me?" He sat up, trying to give you an angry scowl but one look at your smiling face just completely diffused his anger. It was impossible for him to be mad at you most of the time, you were just that one exception.

"No, but It feels like I haven't seen you a whole lot, so I'm making up for lost time." Giggling you pulled away just a bit to give him some space.

" spend all your time with bandages now, I only really get to see you at school." He frowned, rubbing the back of his head mumbling about how he hated going to that shitty place just to see you.

Smiling sheepishly, you couldn't help but feel a little bad. It was true, since you'd learned a few of Dazai's more darkest'd stop going to the Mafia's warehouse. Only did you respond to jobs you were given, rarely were you there just to chill or check things that concerned you.

"About that..I actually have something to tell you.." You murmured glancing away, twiddling your thumbs together.

"Oh no, are you breaking up me? It feels like you're breaking up with me." He snickered when you shoved him laughing your ass off. It made him smile, that he could bring such a soft smile to your face.

"Dammit, This was going to be serious but then you just went and made me laugh.." Shaking your head, you can't help how your lips continue to twitch up giggling. "But in all seriousness, I been thinking about giving the Mafia life up."

There was a moment of silence before Chuuya sighed heavily. "I kinda figured, you found a way to be happy without it." He turns away squeezing his fists together whispering softly, "You don't need me anymore either.."

Instantly your head shot over to him, but he was hiding his face with his curly orange locks and fancy black hat. "..Don't say that.." You frowned, wrapping one of your arms around his elbow leaning your head down against his shoulder.

"You'll always be my Mad Hatter."

There was a strong hefty silence that followed your words. Whether he didn't know what to say or wasn't sure if he could believe in your was a crushing solitude. It made you realize something you didn't want to admit.

We were connected because of the Mafia. I only found him..only became friends with him..because of the Mafia.

Once that realization clicked in, you squeezed both of your arms around his elbow. Which had him turning his azure eyes down to your head, frowning when he realized your body was shaking. Causing you an internal struggle wasn't his desire, but he did want you to give pause to your choices and think about him a little.

He lifted his hand placing it on the back of your head sighing. The soft way his fingers stroked your hair, helped you calm down. After a few moments he finally spoke up.

"Leaving the Mafia wont be easy." When you lifted your head he pulled back, de-tangling his fingers from your locks. "You're a person with valued information inside your head." He turned to place two of his fingers on your forehead, indicating all the secrets you knew about the dark deeds of the underworld.

"People would kill for those secrets."

Nodding your head you understood fully, it was something you'd already considered. "Information is power though my dear Mad Hatter, I have a plan." Your lips curved into a cheeky smirk, "It's a sort of in-it to win-it type plan, but I think I can pull it off."

He tilted his head at you like you were crazy, those rosy red lips were half parted an almost disapproving sneer edging up. "I can already tell, you're going to do something completely crazy..and its scares me.." He scowled when all you did was laugh, making him angrily scratch his head before he abruptly stood up.

"I can't stop you, I know that, but.." Another heavy sigh left his lips, as he turned to face you with his serious blue eyes. "I will help you, If you ever need my help..I don't care when or what I have to do.." His hands slid around your back, pulling you against his chest. It was a warm sensation that had you smiling, rarely would this dummy hug you. Always to gangster to display his feelings for how he cared.

"Don't hesitate to call me." He whispered into your ear.

Wrapping both of your arms around him, you rested your head against his muscular chest. "I wont..I promise.." You whispered back, relaxing in the soft aroma of his cologne that was enveloping all your senses.

This warm embrace lasted for a few minutes, before you slowly edged away. "Think I'll head back home, I'm getting hungry." You smiled to him, telling him how your stomach was starting to growl making him snort.

"Going home to eat some carrots?" He grinned, laughing at the way you just stuck out your tongue with a comedic 'bleh'. "Some Rabbit you are, to hate carrots." That comment had you both laughing, before finally calming down as you wished him a good night.

"Wait, just a second." He grabbed your hand, turning you back to face him. His eyes seemed to be searching your face for something, but you weren't sure what.

"Let me treat you like Alice, for just one moment.."

Both of your eyes fluttered in confusion at his uncharacteristic soft whisper, watching as he stepped forward. With a very swift movement, his hands were against your cheeks pulling you to meet his warm wine red lips.

You were so caught off by the sudden soft sensation, that you couldn't even think about pulling away. The warmth from his lips only lasted for a few seconds, before he pulled away.

He smirked at the intense blush and confusion, that swarmed your face. Chuckling he patted the top of your head before turning around, "Good night, Rabbit." his soft voice whispered into the air, leaving you to your thoughts and mildly pitter pattering heartbeat.

"Chuuya.." You whispered, covering your face hiding the blush and small smile that was edging up your lips. Truthfully, you've always known how he's felt. He was the type of person that wasn't close to anyone. When you came along and showed him a kindness with no strings attached..he couldn't help but fall for you.

However, he knew he wasn't the one your heart desired. He knew you only loved him like the brother you never had, and he accepted that. You couldn't be mad at him, for indulging in his desire..when it seemed like you might be leaving him, even though it was really only the Mafia you wished to leave behind.

Turning you whispered an apology to the night air for lying to him. Really you weren't going home, you were heading the Mafia's warehouse. Tonight would be the night you put part of your plan into action, and you didn't want him to talk you out of it.

You were lucky enough to make it into the building, without seeing him or anyone telling you he was here. Nearly all the people knew your first question most of the time was "Where is Chuuya?" So they always told you, if they knew and simply said they didn't if they had no idea before you even asked.

Heading to the elevator like a woman on a mission, you didn't notice how there seemed to be more people here than usual. Your destination was the main thing on your mind, as you rehearsed every single line you planed to say.

A chorus of cocked guns meet your ears, the moment you stepped out of the elevator. "State your name, code, and rank." Spoke a flat voice, behind a pair of black sunglasses. "And the reason you're up here." He hissed like he had no patience.

Casually looking from the three guns that were aimed at you, a sigh left your lips. "My name is Miss Black, code 1313, and my rank is none of your damn business."

"Why you little bit-"

"The reason I'm here would go over your muscle brain head as well." You flatly stated, not even batting an eye at the angry sneer the guard in front of you was giving.

"You fucking brat!" He pointed his gun towards you, but before he could press the trigger a hand slaps the gun away from his hand.

"Miss Black, Apologies. He's been told you're coming, go ahead."

Without hesitation you sashay passed every single guard, almost smirking at the one who wanted to shoot you.

"Why the hell did you do that? The little bitch didn't answer the security questions!"

"She never answers them, at least not all of them. So there is no point in asking, he was told she was in the building already. If you'd shot her, he wouldn't hesitate to kill you. So shut up, pick your damn gun back up and get back to guarding this floor."


Knocking on his door, you waited for his suave voice to answer before easing into his office. The air was always intense when you were right in front of Port Mafia boss, Mori Ougai. Of course today wasn't any different especially with what you wanted to say.

"Good Evening, Boss."

Purple eyes glance up with a smile, that regular people wouldn't be able to tell held darker intentions inside them. He waved you in, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk, that you were more than happy to flop in.

"Miss Black, how may I help you?"

Taking a deep breath, you leaned back in the chair trying to appear casual. "I'm afraid, I have something rather serious I'd like to discuss." The way he leaned forward on both of his hands, tilting his head with what looked like a rather curious expression, had you taking a gulp trying to force the knot in your throat down.

"Oh? I wonder what it could be? I hope nothing serious has happened." It bothered you how genuinely concerned he seemed to be for your well being. Surely you were just as expendable as most other members here. He had no reason to treat you differently.

Or so you thought.

"I'd like discuss cuttin-"

"Boss, They're looking for her again!" Interrupts a rather alarmed voice, barging through his door. Your head turned the moment you heard his doors burst open, so you didn't see the venomous scowl that came to Mori's lips.

The man who entered looked frantic but the moment he saw you, he visibly broke out in a nervous sweat. Before he could even open his mouth, Mori cuts him off with a sharp but calm voice.

"Miss Black, It seems I must take care of this. I must ask you to leave." When you turned back, he was in no mood for you to argue, you nodded your head bowing to him a soft sign of respect before excusing yourself.

"Keiji-kun." The way Mori said his name, had real fear flushing through his system. Suddenly Mori is standing right next to him, and without any warning retches his left arm so hard, that he dislocates his shoulder making him screech in complete agony.

"She was sitting right there, and you just barged right in." He spoke in a rather calm voice, but every syllable was completely laced with venom. "I've spent a long time keeping her in the dark, if she starts asking questions..." He leans down with a smile the emanated a dark poisonous aura. "I wont hesitate to kill you."

"I'm t-terrible sorry Boss! But you said to tell you if they start making moves again!" His voice trembled badly with every word, as he tried his best not to focus on the intense pain he was feeling. "The Guild, we've been waging war with..They are on the move again."

Mori hums to himself leaning back on his desk, scratching his chin in a thoughtful way. He made sure you had no idea people were looking for you, if he would of had his way..he would of killed the boy John before he made actual contact with you. It was simply dumb luck, that he only wanted to meet you for his own personal purposes.

"Boss..forgive my impudence but..why is this a secret? What do they want with Miss Black?"

Turning away Mori, slides back into his chair pulling out a paper with a printed image of a page from an old text book. Keiji looks at it, but merely tilts his head in complete confusion. "What language is this? I've never seen anything like this before."

"No one knows what its really called, but people who know what it is have called it Azalea." Leaning back in his chair he takes a deep breath, "Its a very old forgotten language, that only a certain bloodline has the power to read." Turning his eyes straight to Keiji, his purple eyes gleam.

"(Y/n) can read this language."

"What?! How?" Keiji is completely thrown off, sure you were a smart and intelligent asset in the Mafia but there was no way you knew some dead language.

"She was born with the innate ability to understand it." Mori spoke articulately as he relayed, that this language wasn't something anyone could learn. Only people born in this rare bloodline, knew how to read this language.

"I've only known two people who knew this language, one is missing and (Y/n)."

Keiji seems at a complete loss, "Why..why is this language so secretive, what's hidden in these words that people feel the need to keep so protected?"

"The seeds of life." Mori spoke, leaning forward on both of his hands. "Azalea is said to tell of the path to the seeds of life, where to find them and what to do with them." Frowning heavily he sighs, swaying a hand through his long raven hair.

"The guild, has the book with the Azalea language in it. I only obtained this copy after spending a small fortune. The book is said to be a thick velvet red with Azalea's on the front..hence why people have named this language after it."

"Sir..This is a stupid question but..Miss do we even know she can read it..?"

"She was given a test when she was a child, unbeknownst to her or anyone." He smirks tapping his finger against the paper in front of him, "I learned that this right here says something about a forbidden fruit that prolongs life."

"W-what? T-that can't be real boss?!"

"It's true, I was sitting in the room albeit in disguise when she picked this paper up turned to the person next to her and said, 'Wow, a fruit that helps you stay young, thats so cool!' the person next to her had no idea what she was saying and even as she pointed to the paper in her hand the child next to her said she was crazy it didn't look like a real language."

Keiji blinks dumbfounded, this was all new to him. His job was merely to keep your records from circulating. Keep you out of the Guilds reach, destroy any and all records that had to do with if you didn't exist. Now he knew why though, why you were so important.

"She has no idea, sir?"

"No she doesn't, unless I get my hands on the Azalea book she'll never know." He was firm, as he told Keiji that you must never learn of your ability to read this language. Otherwise you will try to seek it out, and you'll ask more questions about your birth that he'd rather not answer.

Keiji steps forward taking out a piece of paper with his uninjured arm, "One of the main reasons I came here Boss was because this was sent directly through all our firewalls after they were completely disarmed." He looks serious as he placed the paper down on the desk, "Sir the person who sent this, I don't know if we can hold them off much longer from actually locating her."

Dark eyes cast down to a completely drenched in purple paper, with a giant symbol that looks like a mouse with a wide Cheshire like grin in the middle. Giant cursive words are etched inside the circles, making Mori grip his fingers tightly while he reads.

I'll Find Her.


A secret language? A trait passed down in your blood line?

Will the person looking for you, be able to find you?

Keep Reading.

I hope you liked this chapter! If you did I appreciate sweet sweet kudos or even a simple comment~! <3

Chapter Text


"Osamu..can you please get off me?" Even though you huffed that question out their was a smile on your face, as you tried to hold back the desire to giggle.

"No." He murmured, tightening his hands around your waist rubbing his cheek against the soft skin of your back. "I wanna stay in bed longer, lets snuggle all day."

Snorting loudly you rolled to the side, making him slide off your back but the moment he started to pout, you cuddled into his shape wrapping both arms around his back laying your head against his bare chest. A soft smile curled up his lips as he held you close, laying his cheek on top of your head.

"Can't we stay like this all day..?" He murmur dreamily, completely relaxed in your warmth even though the scars on his chest were completely exposed.

The night before you had asked him with sincere eyes if you could help him redress his bandages. Even though he had shown you real fear in his eyes, not wanting to show you his scars again..even though you'd seen them already.. he eventually gave in with your soft coaxing.

He can remember the delicate way your hands unfurled every cotton bandage from his chest, arms and neck. The soft sway of our fingers as you ran your touch all along his skin, muscles, and every scar his beautiful body had.

Your every gentle caress made him feel several thousand times better, even though a man like him was nervous. He had never felt such fear as the emotion that swept through his body, as your beautiful (e/c) eyes took in his everything. And unlike he thought, completely accepted the ugliness of his scars.

The moment you picked up a roll of bandages, just about to re-wrap tossed the bandages on the table tugging him down against the bed. "Stay like this, so I can admire how truly handsome you are.." His eyes widened, observing how your own cast from his face to his chest smiling before laying your cheek against his skin closing your eyes.

"I love the sound of your heart beat.."

"Osamu, we really need get up.." You murmured softly, knocking him from what he would describe later as one of his best and happiest memories.

"But why?~" He whined playfully, caressing his hand over your back in a soft slow circle. "Don't tell me you need something as silly as food?~" Leaning away he used one of his hands to tilt your chin up observing the beauty that was your face, before planting a soft kiss against your lips.

"Feed on my love, and you will be okay~"

Giggling you returned his kiss with a few more, smiling at the thought that his love really could have you going for hours even without food. "I require delicious pancakes though, so come help me make them~." Kissing his cheek one last time you pulled away standing up as you walked over to your shared closet.

Dazai's milky brown eyes took in the erotic image of your half clothed body. He could see your long legs outlined by your black silky panties, and the long shirt you'd worn covering your chest, making him smirk when he knew you weren't wearing a bra.

You no longer hand any qualms about changing in front of him, so you thought nothing of it as you lifted your shirt tossing it into the corner as you reached for the bra you'd already pulled out of your dresser.

However, strong arms slide around you from behind petting against your stomach as he leans over your shoulder kissing gently at the side of your neck slowly edging down to your shoulder.

"Mhm..Osamu I knew you wouldn't let me get dressed.." You whispered, smiling softly as he kissed against the smooth skin of your back

"I'm Sorry, you're just so beautiful.." He whispered swaying both hands up to gently cup your breasts, circling his digits around your nips in a slow sensual way. "I can't keep my hands off of you.." He smiled, at the way you relaxed under his grasp and the small tingle of pleasure he was giving you.

"I know you're hungry, love..but indulge me for a moment..Please.."

The way he whispered such a soft request, had you nodding your head allowing him to slide his hands around your body if that's what he desired. He was such a kind and caring man with a loving and gentle touch, who could say no to him?

He smiled against your skin, peppering it with soft warm kisses as he kneaded your breasts slowly. Your soft murmuring of his name, made him feel amazing that you could be so relaxed while nearly completely naked in front of him.

Slowly he had you turn your body, pressing gently against your hips till you were sitting down on top of the dresser. He felt overjoyed by how you didn't bother hiding your breasts, and the soft smile that occupied your lips as well as very light shade of pink on your rosy cheeks.

One of his hands caressed against your cheek, sliding into your hair as he leaned down meeting your lips in the middle when you leaned forward. You enjoyed the wonderful feeling of his sweet lips so much, you barely noticed a hand against your thigh.

He slowly edged your legs apart, placing himself between. Your lips swayed against each other slowly and sensually, and even when you felt the passionate lapping of his tongue over your own, you were still relaxed loving the feeling completely.

Pulling away after a few minutes he licks his tongue over your bottom lips, chuckling at the soft gasp..he was still able to surprise you sometimes. Sliding down your chin, he warmly licked a few circles around your neck admiring some of the soft pink hickeys forming against your skin.

Swaying even lower he sucked on the space right above your breast, getting you to arch your body moaning his name softly. Once he'd left a red love bite, his tongue lapped downward till it was circling around your rosy nip.

"Ah, really love to leave marks.." You whispered out several soft moans, thoroughly enjoying the hot slick trail his tongue was creating as he licked and sucked from one mound of flesh to the other giving both of your perky nips the same pleasurable treatment.

"I do, your skin is so soft and sweet..and even if people can't see them..these marks make you mine." He rasped wrapping his lips around your nip sucking while swaying his tongue in sensual circles around the bud.

Just as you fingers were starting to caress through his hair, he lets go of your now hard bud with a wet pop. Raising his head showing you a soft smile before giving you a slow gentle kiss. When he pulls away he grabs the bra on the dresser and helps you slid it on.

"You've indulged me long enough, thank you beautiful."

You pant softly with a warm smile, pulling him down for another kiss. Once you slide off the dresser, you let him pick what you're going to wear today. Even letting him pick your under wear, it was honestly cute to watch him pick up your delicates till he decided on a sky blue cotton pair.

It was charming how he helped you change, making sure you liked the dress he picked out. Which was a spaghetti strapped white piece, that frilled out just enough at the bottom to reach your knee's.

"I love it Osamu, this is the one you got me for my birthday." Twirling you smiled letting the bottom fly out, puffing just enough before stopping.

"It is, It looks perfect on you." He smiled admiring how cute and princess-like you looked without saying it out loud. He was still greatly fighting his sexual desire, to rip the dress from your body and ravage you..but he was a man who had great control..most of the time.

"Alright, come over here So I can put these bandages back on you before we go get messy in the kitchen." You giggled patting the space of the bed in front of you after grabbing a roll of cotton bandages.

Smiling softly he did as told, sitting down right in front of you letting you redress his scared chest and arms. Your touch was so gentle, and the heat from your finger tips was so relaxing..he almost wondered what he was so scared of. You accepted all of him..even his ugly past, where had you been all his life?

For a moment the dark thoughts of his past life, swarmed the bottom of his heart making him feel a twinge of adrenaline that ignited his fight or flight reflexes. The impulse telling him to run to protect himself from the pain that he might end up feeling, for it would be to overwhelming.

However, your soft humming and delicate fingers sliding over his skin was completely alleviating as that feeling quickly dissolved as soon as it started to bubble. Once you were done he turned to face you smiling, whispering a soft thank you as he pecked your lips.

"Your welcome, Romeo. Now, I'm hungry make me some food." You giggled pulling his wrist as you both trailed down the hall after he put on a shirt. His lips curved up into a warm smile, as he gladly professed how he would be glad to fatten you up.

"Put meat on your bones, so I can devour you later." He huskily whispered nipping at your neck, getting you to gasp with a soft blush. He pulled away as quickly as he started, chuckling as he opened up the top cabinets and started pulling out all the ingredients to make pancakes.

"Hmm I actually don't see any syrup so we might not be able to make pancakes." He hummed opening and closing almost every cabinet looking for the bottle you used to have.

"Oh! That's right we used the last of the bottle we had last week when we made pancakes for dinner!" You gasped, remembering how you both decided breakfast for dinner was better than dinner for dinner. It was actually such a fun idea, but you'd both ended up using the last of maple syrup.

"We can make bacon, eggs, and sausage instead." He suggested, remarking that pancakes without a little syrup were just going to be bland hot cakes.

"Nah, I'll just run to the store right quick!" You declare with a giggle, "We don't have anywhere to be today so a small morning stroll to the store will be fine, I should be back by time you're done mixing the ingredients and sizzling the first flapjack~"

"Let me go with you.." He followed right behind you like a lost puppy frowning, suggesting you both go not adding how much he hated being separated from you.

"I got it Osamu~" You laughed to him, sliding on both of your shoes as you gave him a quick peck on the forehead. "I'll be gone 10minutes tops, so get back in the kitchen." You added with a playful push of his shoulder.

He didn't seem at all pleased, but he still let you go. Reluctantly walking back down the hall into the kitchen, as he started mixing the ingredients in anticipation of your return.


Humming you smiled at the light blue sky above, you weren't sure what time it was exactly but it must of been 9ish am or close to 10am. It was great not getting up at 7am for school, that meant you both could relax a little longer in bed.

Remembering every detail as you snuggled close to him in bed made you smile. You could picture the faded scares on his body so vividly but, no matter how much he said they were ugly you simple thought someone had painted blemishes onto his beautiful canvas

Suddenly you get the sinking feeling you were being followed, as you slowly turned but to your surprise there isn't a single person on the streets. The pavement behind you is cold and empty, the only sound you can hear is the sway of a softly flowing wind.

Even your own instincts can be wrong sometimes, you thought you felt the warmth of a pair of eyes but perhaps it was from the other street. Shaking your head, you turn back around and quickly pace down into the closest convenience store.

After walking through the rows for a second you find your prize, grabbing the bottle you walked up to the counter. Stopping only to grab a couple of other snacks that caught your eye, that you wanted to surprise Dazai with. Cause you knew he liked strawberry pocky, and dark chocolate so you got both of those for him before paying a the counter.

From the moment you stepped back out of the store that feeling you were being watched came back to your mind. There were several people out walking around and even in the store you were just at but..from what you could see no one was paying you much attention.

However, something overbearing almost..poisonous was watching you. It was hard to describe but the feeling of menacing eyes was following you, of this you were certain.

Picking up your pace, you held tightly onto your bag as you rounded one corner after the other. You were maybe five minutes away from your home, when something darted around the corner in front of you. Fear and uncertainty had you drawing your switch blade slicing intently at their hand before back stepping several paces creating a measurable distance between you and whoever was right in front of you.

"You have good reflexes." A rather suave voice spoke, tilting his incredibly hazy purple eyes at you as he smiled. For some reason even though he didn't look all that dangerous..your hair prickled all over your body.

"Who are you? What do you want? If I don't like your answers, I might cut you up into tiny chunks to feed to my dog." That thought had you smiling as you pictured your darling lover and boyfriend Dazai, as your lovable guard dog.

He blinked at your words before smirking, slowly his lips twisted up into the most curious Cheshire like grin. "Calm down Miss (Y/n), I don't mean you any harm." Pulling up his hand you saw it was bleeding, the swipe you made moments before had cut the back. He licked the trickle of blood, with a soft hum like he wasn't at all bothered by your attack.

"You say that..but you darted out trying to punch me." You glared, rolling your eyes as he started to chuckle. Holding up both of his hands, giving you what looked like a genuine apologetic smile.

"I do apologies, You're quick whited." He took a few steps towards you, making you take several steps back. "I did attack you, but I merely wanted to see for myself how skilled in combat you were." Despite his really menacing aura, his words felt somewhat genuine.

"Who are you? What do you want?" You hissed, re-asking your questions as you glanced around noting a possible escape route if he was to skilled for you to take down by yourself.

"Ah, I haven't introduced myself." Again he apologized, making you wonder why he appeared to be so gentleman like when his aura was completely poisonous.

"Fyodor Dostoevsky, I'm the head of an organization called Rats In The House of The Dead."

You tilted your head at him, neither his name nor his business sounded familiar. From the way he looked, he appeared to be a foreigner with his oddly pale skin and fluffy white hat even though it was nearly summer. Plus his name sounded Russian, but he spoke fluent Japanese.

Who is this guy? That face looks so innocent but the murkiness swimming in his eyes and pale grin to his lips make him have this pulsating malicious aura.

"How can I help you Fyodor?" You smiled, trying to appear as nonchalant as the calm look on his face did. Again he started stepping forward, but your instincts said to keep him back. So again you back stepped while calmly asking him to refrain from being all in your space bubble.

He laughed in an almost delightful way, "You don't know me but your instincts are telling you to stay back, I should commend you on how cautious you are." He spoke in an almost proud way, before he pulled out a piece of paper.

"Miss (Y/n), Can you tell me what this says?" He held up a copy of a page from what looked like an old book. Tilting your head, you frowned at him like he was stupid. The words on the paper looked like they were written as clear as day, but why couldn't he read them?

"Did someone forget to teach you how to read?" You scoffed, turning your head away missing the grin that edged up his lips.

"So you can read it."

When you turned back he was right in front of you, both of his hands shot up and you instantly jumped backwards but he followed. He had a small dagger that he slashed at you with, but he didn't seem all that skilled as with a swipe of your foot and an aggressive slash of your hand you clanked the dagger out of his palm cutting his face in the process.

"What a feisty kitten you are.." He panted with a smirk, raising two of his fingers in the air before pointing at you. "I was right to bring back up, since you're to much of a wild lion for me to get close too."

"What the hell ar-"

Suddenly something flies right at you, and out of pure clumsiness you step backwards avoiding it. However, as you clatter to the ground another one is fired, making you hiss in pain when you see what looks like a blow dart buried in your shoulder.

"What the hell..i-is..this...." Your words started out as a yell but, but suddenly your entire body started to feel heavy. Your eyelids threatening to droop, your limbs becoming weak and not listening to your demands for them to stand.

Fyodor suddenly leans in front of you placing his hand on your cheek smiling, "Its a sleeping dart, I have something I need your help with Miss (Y/n), and I'm afraid 'No' is not an option I'm willing to consider."

His hand felt like a straight up winter chill was crawling under your skin, but your lips wouldn't part so you could cuss him out. Your eyes slid closed, the last thing you remember was resting on an unfamiliar chest and what sounded like Dazai's ringtone.

Fyodor smirked pulling out your phone from your side pocket, caressing a few strands of hair away from your face. He saw the name on the phone, he wasn't going to answer it but this man surely needed to be messed with. After clicking the accept button he waited till he heard Dazai's voice.

"(Y/n), what's taking so long? The pancakes are getting cold."


"(Y/n)? Are you okay?"


"You're not (Y/n), are you?" Dazai's voice sounded calm, yet a cool sense of icy anger seeped through his voice.

Smirking Fyodor held your chin in two of his fingers as he breathed slowly into the phone before whispering several words that would make Dazai boil with an overwhelming amount of anger, it would never come close to any of the emotions he felt back in his dark ages.

"Your Princess Is In Another Castle."


Ah I loved introducing Fyodor in this chapter! I picture him as someone what of gentleman albeit menacing aura so that's how I wrote him. :3

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll try to continue to update as regularly as i can!

Don't forget those sweet sweet kudos <3

Chapter Text

Welcome To A New Wonderland My Dear.


"(Y/n), I think you have something on your face."

Turning your head slowly in the direction of your handsome bou, his lips suddenly pressed against your cheek. When he pulled back he held the softest smile, that was making you fall in love all over again.

"Oh, it was just my lips." He chuckled, caressing his fingers against the back of your hand.

Your lips curved up into a grin snorting, and yet the feeling inside was of complete bliss. Leaning forward you rested your head against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of just being right next to him.

How could anyone ever want to be separated from this man? It felt like you would wither without this warmth, these gentle caresses..that loving smile that screamed you were his everything.

The slow way his fingers caressed into your hair, giving your tresses the softest and gentlest pet had you purring to him like a kitten. Which he of course loved, as he brought one of your hands to his lips giving it a warm kiss.

"(Y/n), I'll always do my best to protect you."

Just as you were about to return his words vowing to protect him as well..the scenery started to droop. Everything suddenly faded into nothingness before you shoot out of bed.

"My f-fucking head hurts.." You hissed rubbing both of your temples, frowning at the extreme dizziness that was swarming the back of your head.

"Was that a dream..? No..It was a memory.." Both of your eyes softened, remembering that day in excruciating detail. Everything about Dazai was always etched into your mind, like a photograph you'd carry around but instead it was just warm memories and moments with the man you loved that you could never forget.

Turning to the side you notice an unfamiliar desk, then looked down frowning at an unfamiliar blanket. "Where am I..?" Glancing around you noticed the rooms simple details, from the window with a view of a fountain, to the dresser next to what you assumed was a closet, and finally a door on the left in the middle.

Standing up you went straight over to the door and much like you figured, it was locked. All it did was click and clack when you jostled the sterling silver knob. Turning around you walked around the room pulling open draws, the closet, the bathroom door, and even trying to see if the window would open but it didn't even have a latch on it.

Settling back onto the bed, you contemplated how you got here. It was a bit fuzzy, but you remember waking up with Dazai. Wanting to make pancakes together, before going to the store when you realized there was no syrup.

"Fyodor!" You exclaimed eyes widening, instantly having the memory flash through your head of a strange raven haired man with a poisonous aura. "That son of a bitch, had someone sleep dart me!" Came your sneer driven hiss, already planning this purple eyed bastards down fall in complete detail. You absolutely hated it when you let someone get the drop on you, as it proved you still had things to learn.

"My, that's some foul language coming from a young lady like yourself." Spoke the sudden, but familiar suave voice of the mysterious man you just dismembered inside your head.

Looking up you watched with a frown as he started casually closing the distance between you. Which had you standing up and practically hissing at him while vaulted over the bed, reaching for your knife only to realize it wasn't in the holster you'd wrapped around your thigh.

"Looking for this." He chuckled, as your eyes shot over to him, brandishing your switchblade for your eyes to see before sliding it into his back pocket. "I removed it from you, while you slept. I'd hate for you to actually injure me." His lips held the most hard to read expression you'd ever seen.

Was he playing? Was he serious? From the way he fought before he was no stranger to combat, but was he still covering all his bases? When you realized that he had to lift up your dress, to see your thigh holster both of your eyes glared at him ferociously.

He noticed the fire behind your gaze, tilting his head curiously before chuckling. "I didn't do anything to you while you slept, I assure you." He walked over till he was sitting on the edge of your bed, before he added ever so nonchalantly, "You have cute panties by the way."

Screeching at him with red cheeks, you tried attacking but he dodged your every maneuver, till you were doubled over panting heavily. The sound of His conniving chuckle, only pissed you off even more as you recovered your breath before hissing at him.

"What do you want from me!"

"I want you to help me find something." He motioned for you to calmly take a seat next to him, but you certainly didn't trust him enough to be close so you sat on the desk next to the bed. He merely chuckled at your caution but still continued, "It's a lost treasure, and you're one of the only people that can find it."

You tilted your head at him, sure you were proud of your abilities and a quick thinker but surely something like 'lost treasure' was completely out of your league.

"What makes me so special?" You murmured gripping your hands together.

"I'm surprised, you've picked an accurate choice of words." Sliding one of his hands into his pocket he pulled out the paper he'd shown you before. "This is what makes you special, you have the ability to read this paper."

Without meaning to you snatched the paper from his hand, staring at it hard. "Something is off.." You murmured standing up, flipping the paper back and forth as if trying to examine if the words were as you were seeing them.

The words look like they're in English..this is what I don't get..He can't read it? Why? He doesn't look stupid in fact, I'd presume highly intelligent but..what's stopping him from reading this paper?

When you looked up to him, he was carefully observing you. Waiting ever so patiently for you to do or say something, as if intrigued by your every action.

"You can't read this?" He shook his head, making you nod your own. Calmly you walked around him and into the bathroom, locking the door behind you to make sure you had privacy.

Looking at the paper you confirmed you could read it, then looked at the mirror above the sink in the bathroom. You half smiled at your reflection, if there was no mirror you wouldn't be able to test your theory.

Holding the paper up, you stared hard at the reflected words in the mirror as your eyes widened immensely. "What language is this? That doesn't look.." Again you turned the paper over, confirming that you could read it before flipping it back over.

The words..or language reflected in the mirror were backwards. It certainly didn't look English, it looked like a bunch of gobbled letters and words.

"My brain..can instantly translate whatever language this is..when I'm staring right at it.." You marveled at yourself, this was a new talent you never knew you possessed. That posed a very good question.

How did Fyodor know you could read this language?

Opening the door, you nearly shrieked when he was right in front of it waiting for you. A small grin curved up his lips chuckling, as glanced down at the paper in your hands before pulling it away.

"What did you learn? It sounded like you had a breakthrough, care to share?"

"No." You huffed to him, pushing passed as you went back over to the desk and sat down. "Answer my question, What makes me so special?"

"Mhm, I like a confident woman." He smirked, sitting back down on the bed closer than you would of liked. "This is where you world is going to be flipped upside down, but unlike all the people you're surrounded by..I wont lie to you."

You felt your heart clench, what did he mean? The people around you certainly had their own secrets but rarely did it feel like they were lying to you.

"I see the wheels turning, but there is only one way for you to know this language." He pointed at you with one of his slender fingers, "This is a trait you were born with, it can only be passed down through familial blood lines."

"Blood lines..?" The nerves inside your head were alive with a gazillion thoughts and impulses..nearly all of them making your heart race. "S-so one of my parents.."

"Your father."

The instant you heard such a simple word, you could feel your lungs going into overdrive. You didn't know a single damn thing about your father, and could only assume the many things your mother said about him not wanting and abandoning you were true.

"Calm down, Miss (Y/n)"

The moment he tried to reach over, you slapped his hand away jumping off the desk basically hopping away from him. It felt like a tremendous weight was gripping your heart, but what if he was lying? In your heart though, you knew he was speaking the truth. You can call it being naive but somewhere inside told you it was real.

"How do you know my father?

Where is he?

Who is he?

What's his name?"

You didn't mean for all these questions to ramble out of your mouth, but the long desire to have any of the mysterious questions about your Dad answered plagued your entire life.

"I'm afraid talking about him, is the one thing I cannot do." He held up his hand when he saw the completely pissed off look on your face, "I can tell you that I've meet him, and you remind me a lot of him."

"That's not fucking good enough!" You screamed, feeling completely betrayed by everything you thought you knew. "My dad..he..." Tears were forming in your eyes as you whispered, "i-is he alive at least...?"

"As far as I know, a man like him wouldn't let death take him so easily."

Suddenly the anger you felt dissipated, a warm feeling of relief flooding your system. There was something familiar in those words that reminded you of yourself, that had your lips curving up into a smile even though tears were cascading down your cheeks.

"A weeping princess, this is really starting to feel like a fairy tale" Fyodor chuckles, gaining your attention again as he waits for you to wipe your eyes and compose yourself.

"This language is called Azalea, and like I told you only people born in this specific blood line can read it." He tapped his long slender fingers against the paper, before mentioning that he would assume its impossible to teach this language to anyone.

"I've been searching for you for a few years, but your Mafia cohorts have kept you well hidden." Your eyes widen, watching a grin slide up his lips nodding his head at the unasked question on your lips.

The Mafia Knows I can read Azalea? Mori-san knows I can read it, does that mean my Mad Hatter knows as well? No..I don't think he knows at all. He would of told me. Even if his loyalty has always lied with the Port Mafia, he's always given me information that's concerned me first hand.

"Why does a secret almost completely forgotten language, have to be so hidden?" You murmur, glancing from him to out the window noticing the sun starting to set. Thinking about how long you've been away from Dazai has you frowning, wanting to go back to him so terribly.

"Because its a language that protects what most people refer to as The Seeds Of Life." He explains, the legend that surrounds these words hint at fruit that can heal all wounds, elixir that can prolong life, water that purifies and detoxifies the blood, as well as an assortment of other magnificent fable-like items.

This is too much. It all sounds like a ludicrous mix of folklore, how could any of that be true? Sure you remember reading about all of that stuff in other books before but..combined all in another secret language?

Looking at the paper, you see it written as clear as day. You get the feeling you shouldn't tell him at all what it says. If this language was so secretive, the fruits of life..or whatever..should be protected, right?

"What does this paper say?" He asks so suddenly that it makes your eyes widen slightly before you force a calm empathic face.

"Why should I tell you? Mr. Kidnapper, who uses sleeping darts." Scoffing you roll your eyes.

Chuckling he stands walking towards you, everything inside tells you to back up but for some reason you stand your ground. He places his hands on your cheek looking into your eyes, before gripping your hair giving it a sharp tug making you hiss, glaring angrily at his pale thin face.

"Because Princess, right now I have your life in the palm of my hands." He lets go, caressing through your tresses in a surprisingly gentle way. "If you want to go home, back to the man whose probably lied to to you more than anyone else ever has, you'll follow my rules and do what I say."

A deep scowl forms on your face as you shove his hand away, raising your own ready to slap him across the face but he catches your hand grinning. "I see talking about him makes you angry, but do you even really know him?" The moment your lips part brows furrowing ready to scream at him he places a finger on your lips.

"I've meet Dazai-san before as well, and he's a lot darker than you think."

Shoving him away, you back pedal enough to be completely out of his reach. "Don't you fucking tell me, what the man I love is like!" Both of your hands are gripped together so tight your knuckles are turning white as you dig your finger nails into your skin.

"I know him more than you ever will, get out!" You scream at him not bothering to watch him leave, as you stomp over to the bathroom slamming it shut as you aggressively pant and breath trying to relax your fingers.

Smirking at the door, Fyodor pulls out another picture he meant to show you before you basically threw a tantrum. "I'm leaving, but I'll be back Princess." Tossing it onto the bed, he left you listening to his eerie deep laughter.

Staring at yourself in the mirror, everything you learned about Dazai came flooding back to your head. From his incredibly painful childhood, to how he used to be in the Port Mafia just like you, and even all the precious ways he displayed his undying love and affection.

Nothing you felt from him was a lie, not a single person alive could convince you otherwise. You'd only been together a little over a year, but there wasn't a single person out there you could imagine yourself being with other than Dazai.

There's no telling how long you were actually in the bathroom, but eventually you left after making sure he was gone. Walking back over to the bed, you were just about to flop down when you noticed a small square on top of the pillow.

" this Osamu..?" You whispered, picking up the photograph that seemed to display a younger much more...emotionless Dazai than the one you knew now.

The boy in the picture, had bandages over his right eye, and wore completely black reminding you of another photograph you'd seen a long time ago. However, the one before held a content Dazai but this one right here looked so...empty.

It simply broke your heart to see the man you knew who could smile so brightly, look so broken and lifeless like a doll with no soul. Tears gently cascaded down your cheeks, as the desire to hold your loved one close to your chest, caress his fluffy soft tresses, and whisper to him..

"Osamu, It's alright..I love you..and I'll always love matter what."


I might write the next chapter from Dazai's perspective as I want to show him and his emotions as he starts looking for you and working with Chuuya.

But it will more than likely switch POVs a bit, till it's focusing on you/reader again.

I hope you liked this chapter! Don't forget to leave a wittle comment or smack that kudo button~! <3

Chapter Text


From the moment I heard that damn Rats voice over her phone I knew everything I feared was coming true, and yet the feeling of not knowing exactly why he wanted her was the thing that mostly plagued my mind.

Does he want revenge for things that happened in our past?

Is he trying to get the Mafia to wage war?

Does the Mafia have something he wants, and he thinks she will give him the information?

To many thoughts overloaded his cloudy mind, he was already highly calculating but with his most dearest person missing..everything was in overdrive. He was scared but that fear wouldn't show on his face. He knew more than anyone to cork his emotions if he wanted to be able to focus.

"Dazai, It's already 3am lets go back. We can start the search again in the morning." Muttered Chuuya, who looked just as lost as he felt on the inside. Unlike himself, the desperate emotions he didn't want to display were written all over his former partners face from the moment he called him, and told him you were missing.

"You can go back. I thought you cared about her, guess I was wrong." Those words came out of my mouth a lot harsher than I meant them to. I couldn't shake the feeling, that told me if I just looked hard enough maybe we will get closer to a clue.

"Of course I fucking care about (Y/n)!" Chuuya hissed dangerously, grabbing my collar glaring with his fierce blue eyes that told me, in any other situation I'd be a dead man.

"I'm worried about her just as much as you are, I want to find her..I-"

"You love her." He spoke calmly pushing away Chuuya's hands.

Chuuya scowled, but pulled away turning with a huff. "She told you, I kissed her huh?" He sighed heavily muttering that he wasn't going to apologize.

Dazai's eyes darkened for just a second before relaxing, "No, but I figured eventually you wouldn't be able to hold yourself back. I know you, and if you were close to anyone, they were just that important." He spoke calmly, but on the inside he was hurt that you didn't tell him, but he still trusted you. He trusted you more than anyone.

"It's wrong to kiss someone else's girlfriend."

Chuuya and Dazai stared at each other, if this was any other day of the week they'd of tried to kill each other full force. The tension in the air was palpable, as glaring azure meet hazy mauve, as if trying to inflict damage with their stares.

Suddenly Chuuya clicks his teeth before shoving both hands in his pockets turning as he starts walking away. "My Rabbit, would be sad if she saw us fighting. I'll be back at your ugly apartment in the morning, get some fucking sleep you look like shit."

Dazai lifted his hand like it was gun, pretending to shoot Chuuya in the back of the head before turning and walking back to his now completely empty apartment. His face was impassive as it hid all his emotions but on the inside he was seething, at the way Chuuya emphasized the word 'My' when he said Rabbit.

The moment he walked into his apartment, he regretted it. A pair of your flip flops were sitting their at the entryway mocking him, for not finding you and bringing you back yet. In fact, the entire house was littered with all your knickknacks..there wasn't a single place he could look and not be reminded of you.

"I'm home.." He muttered, frowning softly at the solitude that answered him. Usually when he got home, even before he called out you were already softly padding down the hallway meeting him halfway. A bright smile on your face, warm twinkle in your beautiful eyes that he could never stop admiring, and a loving welcome home kiss on his cheek or lips.

Flopping onto the couch he curled up into a ball, forcing his eyes to shut but sleep was the farthest thought from his mind. It'd been nearly 5 days since you went missing, and for the first time he was at a loss.

He never expected someone to take you, specially someone from his past. It didn't seem like Fyodor had taken you for revenge purposes though, that was the only thing he felt certain of.

As morbid as it seems, if Fyodor really wanted to hurt him he'd of sent like one of your fingers to him or called him everyday and tormented him with your tortured screams. Alas none of that which he could be extremely grateful for.

He wondered what poison that damn rat was filling you head with. What did he want with you? Were you okay? Was he treating you better then his dark thoughts were screaming?

"I miss you (Y/n)..I don't think you understand how lost I am without you.." He whispered to himself, sliding one of his hands over his face breathing against his skin heavily.

It was unbearable to be alone in the apartment he'd shared with you for over a year. You both may have been rather young considering the type of couple you were, but considering neither of you lived a normal childhood it wasn't that out of the ordinary.

You a mere 2nd year high school student of 17 years old, and himself 18 in his last year of high school. You'd both experienced moving up a grade, and were aware that Dazai would graduate before you did.

Although you'd discussed what he might want to do after graduating, the picture was still unclear as he wasn't sure if college was right for him.

A small barely noticeable smile edged up his lips as he thought about the first time he actually saw you. Well face to face, he'd read about you from his sources way before and had a picture of you just for his own sake. However, the moment you entered the room, you drew his attention with the smile on your face and playful demeanor you had with the principal of the school.

"You were so cute..I just wanted to eat you up." He sighs to himself turning towards the couch cushions burring his face against the smooth material. "If only I'd gone with you to the store..I should of listened to my instincts.."

Shaking his head, no matter how many times he thought about that day he could only blame himself. He had an incredible feeling the moment you wanted to leave, but after you convinced him you'd be okay..he simply chalked bad intuition up to the fact he hated being separated from you.

"I'm going to punish you so hard when I get you back..I wont let you sleep." A small smirk edged up his lips before it waned till it was just a soft smile. "I want to hold you in my arms, I want to kiss your face...most of all I just want you to be okay."

It was scary how dependent he was on you. A man like him was used to being alone, and almost had no concept of good and evil. They were just words, bad things happened and good things happened. Sometimes it wasn't the outcome you might want but hardly the end result mattered.

He remembered how he craved death, how often he'd injured himself only to be shown how resilient his retched life was. It wasn't something he was grateful for till, the one person whose opinion he valued to the most told him to leave. To pursue a better life, a more fulfilling one then the darkness the mafia offered.

Did Odasaku know I'd be able to find love once I left? Would he be disappointed that it all traced back to the Mafia? I don't believe so, he used to talk about finding someone to protect even if loving them might of hand consequences.

Thinking about Odasaku had him frowning, you wouldn't be the first person he cared about that he lost track of. Part of him thought Odasaku might still be out their, but another part thought the Mafia was covering up the fact that he may have died.

Either way he listened to the final request his only friend asked of him, and he was honestly so grateful. Being in love was worth every hardship he'd ever faced, every dark memory that clouded his head, and the hideous scars that littered his body that told him he was still alive. As if saying you've come this far only for her.

Maybe you didn't even know how truly hard it was for him those weeks where he started avoiding you. That one morning where he woke up and tried to strangle you was honestly the scariest day in his life. He would of done anything to insure that he never caused you harm like that again. Even if it meant he could no longer sleep by your side.

He'd never been frightened of causing someone pain, till seeing those hand prints on the smooth skin of your neck. He couldn't even bring himself to hold your hand, and could barely meet your eyes after that incident. He felt such shame and guilt, like nothing ever before.

"(Y/n)..I'm sorry for making you feel like..I didn't want you..and making you cry.." He knew he was making you sad and distraught those weeks, where he could barely show you any affection. Never for a second did he stop loving you, he was just so scared of hurting you..and in the end he still caused your heart pain.

"I'll never avoid you again..I'll never be afraid to hold you again.." Thinking about the warmth of your body, as you perfectly seemed to fit in his arms had him bawling his fists. He'd give anything to be able to wrap his hands around your waist and hold your soft skinned body against his.

The bags under his eyes were finally catching up with him, as he hadn't had any sleep in the 5 days you'd been gone. When he did try to sleep he had terrible nightmares, that seemed so much worse than the ones before you went missing. However, sleep was unavoidable in this case..his body demanded rest and even though he didn't want to he gave in.

It took a few seconds to fall into a deep heavy slumber, where the world felt surreal and heavily coated in darkness around him. All he could do was shout your name into the shadows around him, and hope with all his heart that maybe just maybe you'd answer him back.


"Boss, Are you sure it's wise to keep this organization a secret from Dazai?" Chuuya's face held a heavy frown, even though he'd been searching for you with Dazai for several days he'd found out two days ago what the name of the organization that took you was.

"Nakahara-kun, I'm sure Dazai-kun is already aware of who has taken his Princess." Mori Ougai's hands were folded as he calmly spoke with his murky purple eyes. "I'm aware that you and him have been searching for Miss Black with all your resources, I don't mind." He smiled, but their seemed to be a hidden aura behind those features.

"Miss Black is a valued member of the Port Mafia, I want her back."

Even though Chuuya was being respectful his hands were bawled behind his back. He wanted you back for completely different reasons. However, he wasn't naive like he told you before your head had secretes inside. If people extracted information from you it could hurt the Mafia greatly.

"Boss, do you know what exactly this Rats in The House of The Dead want from (Y/n)?"

"I'm afraid not, our organization is vast and we hold a lot of secrets. Which I've trusted in Miss Blacks head, so it could almost be anything." Mori turned his head to the side rubbing his chin thoughtfully, as if thinking about all the information you possessed.

With a nod of his head, Chuuya excused himself leaving Mori's office. Walking down the hall he held a calm empathic face as he got into the elevator. However, the moment he made it to the records room and started looking through all your old files he held the most heavy frown.

"The boss just lied to me."


A knock on your door has you sighing heavily, like the many times before you do not answer. You don't give them permission to enter, and yet the door still opens.

"Miss (Y/n), do try to eat something today. If you shrivel up and die, that will help no one." Spoke the calm almost taunting voice of the man you've come to know as Fyodor. You didn't even turn towards him, as you sat in a chair in front of the window staring longingly at the clouds in the sky thinking about just how terribly you wanted to see Dazai.

"Let me go home, So I can eat with Osamu."

"I can't do that, I still need your help." The moment you saw his reflection coming towards you in the glass of the window you stood up creating space between you. His hazy purple eyes reflected amusement, before he stopped and flowered his hand out to you as he gave you a somewhat respectable bow.

"No need to be so frightened, come with me. I want to show you the book that you're the rightful owner of."


ooooh Next chapter the book of Azalea is revealed?! You will also get to meet some of Fyodors people.


I hope you liked this chapter, feel free to leave me a wittle comment or even tape dat kudo button <3

Thank you for making it this far into the story. I truly hope you're enjoying it. ^_^

Chapter Text


"Miss (Y/n), You could of taken my hand. I have no intentions of hurting you."

"Your greeting to me was trying to punch me in the face, so forgive me if I less than believe a single word you say." You snickered, trailing behind him as he lead the way down a surprisingly fancy and elegant hallway.

The moment you agreed to see this so called book that you were supposedly the rightful owner of, he wanted you to take his hand so he could lead you down the hall but you were more than skeptical about touching him so he settled with you trailing behind him. There were two other guards following behind you, to ensure you didn't try anything foolish.

Even if you were doing what he wanted, it was a good feeling being outside the room you were being held captive in. It wasn't like he was mistreating you, besides using psychological warfare to get you to distrust Dazai. He even had someone or he himself brought you food everyday but three days ago you refused to eat anything.

You were being a nice captive and eating the food but..he brought you pancakes one morning and it just all reminded you of how much you desperately missed Dazai and how all this originally happened.

It was all my fault..I should of listened to Osamu, I'll be sure to apologize properly when I see him again. I hope he knows I miss him.

Heaving a heavy sigh you glanced around your surroundings, the hall had this dark purple tint to it but was well lit destroying your image of a murky evil hideout. Honestly that thought had you smiling, but it was only for a moment as you nearly smacked right into Fyodors back when He paused.

"Ivan, Good timing." Fyodor spoke turning back to face you, "What type of tea do you favor?" He asked calmly portraying a smile that appeared, somewhat kind but the murkiness behind his eyes sent a chill down your body.

"Uh..peppermint tea." You mumbled looking past the pale man in front of you to the extremely long haired man with light silver hair. Those tresses must of been longer than your own, as you noted bandages wrapped around his head like he'd recently been injured or had surgery.

Smiling with those Cheshire like lips of his, he turned back and immediately started walking. He never even said a word to the man named Ivan, but he was bowing politely as you passed. When you started turning the corner you glanced back to see if he was still there and were surprised when he had completely disappeared.

"Creepy.." You mumbled to yourself, feeling like you were literally walking through one of those haunted houses only instead of fake scares..the fear you were feeling was very real.

It's been nearly 10minutes since you started walking down the maze of these halls but you were not stupid. Despite the twists of the hallways there is one thing you've noticed. Due to the 3 right angle turns you've made you've come full circle, you don't now how its possible but honestly you'd wager you're not to far from your original room.

"Lady's first." Fyodor hums, turning the knob on a large wooden door with rats shaped into the molding on both sides. He gestures for you to go in first, despite not really wanting to you go ahead and step through the entry way.

Upon entering the room, a thump resounds around your heart but it doesn't feel like a beat of fear. Looking around you notice..a man with completely white clown-like cloths on. Instantly you make the mistake of cracking up, pointing at his blond face and laughing.

"Oh my, are you a clown?"

For a moment the man with all white on blinks, a puzzled expression on his face before it twists up into a calm smile. Suddenly He's darting at you, a card sliding from his long sleeve to his white gloved fingers thrusting it at your face.

With a sharp gasp, you instantly drop to the ground throwing out one of your legs meaning to trip him but he seemed to be expecting such a move, as he back stepped away narrowly avoiding be tripped.

This dodging and trying to slice your face with a playing card goes on for a few seconds, before you manage to effectively knock the white top hat from his head. He chuckles, giving you a wide grin before holding both of his hands up saying "I give, I give." Over and over again.

Panting heavily you wipe at your cheek smearing the blood from the cut he managed to give your face. He was a lot quicker and tougher than you imagined, if you hadn't been so quick he might of taken out one of your eyes and just giggled about it.

With a Chuckle Fyodor slides passed you, taking his seat at the large business-like desk in the middle of the room. "Nikolai, I thought I told you to be nice to our princess." He taps his chin with a soft hum, leaning back in his chair thoughtfully.

"You did, you did!~ But she laughed at me, and you said she was quick." Nikolai turns towards you, pressing his hand over his chest as he gives you a wide smile and a soft bow. "You said her reflexes were cat-like, and she is indeed very feisty. I like her, can we keep her?"

"Hey..Don't talk about me like I'm not even in the room." You hiss, earning another chuckle from the mysterious Nikolai. Glaring from his rather pretty face, to the smug smirk on Fyodors own you sigh heavily before walking to one side planting your ass on the soft sofa against the wall.

"All of you are so weird, attacking me as a greeting. Then acting all calm and gentleman-like..are you all psychotic or what?"

"That's a rude thing to say, kitten." Suddenly your eyes that had relaxed snapped wide open, hearing those words spoken directly into your ear. He smirks when your head instantly turns his way, but relaxes into a charming smile. "Don't be so frightened.." He grabs your hand giving the top a kiss, watching with a chuckle how you wretched yourself away from him.

Just as you're about to open your mouth, some clear swear words on the tip of your tongue the door opens and in walks in the long haired man from before. He rolls in a cart with a teapot in the middle as well as several tea cups, and what even looks like delicious little pastries that just have your mouth watering.

He smiles at you with a small chuckle, before pouring you a cup and placing a plate with a piece of cake on it in front of you. "Enjoy, Miss. I hope they're to your liking." He does the same for Nikolai, but makes special treatment to hand Fyodor his cup with delicacy giving him a completely different pastry than the one he gave Nikolai and you.

For a moment you stare at the cake longingly, before pushing it away. It looks good and probably tastes even better, but being away from Dazai makes you instantly lose your appetite as you settle on sipping the tea.

"This is good.." You whisper with a gentle smile, downing the tea sip after sip. It warms you body and leaves a cool after taste, it reminds you of sweet kisses with your love. That thought has a frown ghosting over your lips, before something soft and spongy is shoved against them.

"W-what the-?!"

"Aren't you hungry? You should eat something." Nikolai smiles, chuckling at the way you shove his fork away a growing pink looming over your cheeks telling him you aren't hungry. "Mhm, That's a lie Princess. They tell me you haven't been eating, so of course you're hungry."

He grabs the bottom of your chin forcing your mouth to open before sliding the cake between your lips. Out of surprise you swallow the piece, panting softly as he retracts with a bubbly smile. "See? Its good, eat." He lifts his fork again, a smirk on his face. "I can feed you again if you like?"

Screeching at him, you jump across the coffee table sitting on the opposite couch, picking up the plate with cake on it. "I can fucking eat on my own! D-don't touch me!" You hiss with an overly erratic heart beat.

"Okay, okay don't throw a fit." Nikolai chuckles, holding up both of his hands as if saying he surrenders before grabbing the plate with his cake eatting what's left.

Your cheeks darken at the sound of Fyodors smug laughter before turning away, despite your child-like tantrum you start eating the cake. Unable to deny that it truly does taste really good, but maybe that's just because your tummy is empty.

"I thought you were going to show me this 'Book of Azalea'?" You emphasize with air quotes, eating the last piece of cake tossing the plate onto the table before noticing just how quiet its gotten.

Nikolai's usually happy face looks thoughtful, Fyodors face is impassive as he leans forward on both of his hands, Ivan is the only one that looks somewhat troubled but its not like he's frowning he's just tapping his chin as if he has something he'd like to say.

"Not yet." Fyodor finally breaks the eerie silence, sipping from his cup of tea before letting Ivan refill it. "We're still waiting on one more person, they should be here shortly." He spoke calmly but you saw his brow crease when Ivan bent down and whispered something into his ear.

"I knew he wasn't coming, He's not the one we're waiting for." Fyodor spoke softly but you still heard the words, not that you had any idea who he was talking about regardless.

Standing you walked towards the window, placing your hand on it looking at the soft hazy purple sky. It must of been about 6 or 7pm in the afternoon, usually around this time you'd be with Dazai sitting on the couch in the living room.

Sometimes you'd be watching a movie together as you rested your head on his shoulder.

Sometimes you'd be sitting in his lap while you both read books.

Sometimes you'd be distracting each other with soft kisses, and sensual kitten licks. Slowly wearing the other down, till you were just having passionate and romantic sex on the couch.

Your cheeks warmed remembering the sway of his hands that just loved caressing your body, having a piece of your skin between his fingers, or simply giving you the most breath stealing kisses that left your head foggy.

"What are you thinking about your face is all red?" Suddenly you're caught completely off guard as the reflection in the window shows you a curious Nikolai before he places both of his hands on either side of your head, towering over your body from behind.

"I'm thinking everyone here has no idea what personal boundaries are." Turning you shove at his shoulders, side stepping around him till you're sliding back onto the couch. He chuckles sitting down next to you, inching closer and closer making your brows furrow together in annoyance.

"Mhm, I like it when you lie to me. It makes me want to find out the truth." Just as he grabs your wrist pulling you towards him does the door open, and in walks a very disgruntled looking businessman with slick raven black hair.

"What the hell are you doing Nikolai?"

"Nothing~ I'm just playing with our princess." He giggles, sliding both of his hands around your shoulders pulling you in for a very confusing hug. One that makes you face redden as you shove him to the floor making him whine like 5 year old.

"Who are you?" Grunting you use your foot to shove Nikolai away, making him whine even more saying he just wants a hug. With an exasperated sigh you say the first thing that comes to mind, that makes you think he will back off.

"I'll give you a hug if you take off your silly mask."

It's silent for a moment, as you glance around. Everyone looks troubled, even Fyodor looks a bit skeptical from the raise in his eyebrows his usual calm demeanor slipping.

"Is that all I have to do?" He spoke smoothly, drawing your attention as he places his hand on his mask giving you a smile before sliding it off his face. Instantly your eyes widen, noting the faded color of his right eye as it appears foggy and listless.

In your stunned stupor he slides next to you, pulling you into his lap before wrapping his hands around you giving you a tight hug. "W-wait what are you doing?!" You half stutter in confusion feeling your cheeks becoming warm, pushing at his shoulders but he's refusing to let you go.

"You promised me a hug."

Despite feeling embarrassed at all the eyes that are watching,but Nikolai doesn't seem bothered at quickly decide to give him a hug wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He actually seemed to relax under you grasp before you quickly pulled away, muttering that he wasn't getting anymore than that.

He frowned softly before smiling as he slid his mask back on, "Dosu-san, Oguri is here so shall we get the meeting underway?" Siting up he propped himself up on his knee's like an excited toddler.

"Bring me the box." Fyodor spoke almost coldly towards the man named Oguri, but he brought him a square black and red box, that the moment your eyes landed on it, you felt the same thump you had the moment you entered this office.

I feel..weird..My head is becoming foggy..but..

Stepping towards Fyodor, your body seemed to move on its own as you placed the palm of your hand on the box. "The book is in here..isn't it.." Your other hand covers your forehead, trying to shake of the uncomfortable dizziness starting to swirl inside your head.

"What makes you think that miss (Y/n)?"

Lifting your head, Fyodors brows widened noting a softer shade to your eyes than your normal color. "I can feel it. It's calling to me.." Your lips parted a soft pant escaping, as you could feel a sense of yearning inside your heart that made you want what was in this box no matter what.

Fyodor looked curious, sliding a golden key from his pocket unlocking the box pulling out a very old looking velvet light purple book. The cover had the most beautiful pink flowers on the front, that felt so familiar were sure you'd never seen them before.

"You don't look well, Miss (Y/n). Perhaps you should rest."

Unknown panic flared into your body when he started putting it back into the box, that had you reaching forward with your fast reflexes stealing the book from his grasp only to feel an intense shudder the moment it was in your hands.

"You little brat, don't touch the book giv-"

Fyodor held up his hand silencing Oguri, a smirk growing on his pale handsome face. "Shut up, the book is where its suppose to be. Look at her eyes."

Oguri, Nikolai, and even Ivan leaned over in front of you, their eyes widening when they noted the ever consuming pink tint to your iris's. That was most certainly not your normal shade of eye color, it looked positively bright and glowing almost.

"Follow the flowers, Mea Femina" You spoke suddenly, but your eyes and the almost stiff features of your face made it look like they were not your words, like something you were possessed to say.

(Mea Femina - latin for My Lady)

Suddenly your face contorts like its in pain, using one of your hands to clutch your head. "Don't..s-speak so fast..I c-can't understand when..its all jumbled together.." You groaned, dropping to your knee's shaking your head back and forth.

"Whose she talking too? None of us are speaking.." Ivan mutters, rubbing his chin looking troubled but not at all concerned that you're in pain.

"It looks like she's talking to the book..? And she called me crazy!" Nikolai chuckles, observing your movement with childlike intrigue.

Suddenly you stand back up, making Oguri who was standing next to you fall backwards cause you'd caught him so off guard. Without saying a word you reach for a piece of paper and a pen smiling, your eyes a beautiful glowing pink as your hand moves furtively.

"Bathe in this flower and life will be prolonged even an inch away from death." Fyodor leans over watching you draw and speak so fluidly like you've known this information all along. "Don't eat this flower or a fate worse than death awaits you." Tilting your head up, you meet Fyodors purple eyes something informative in your pink orbs that you can't possibly now about him..before he watches your eyes slide closed the pen fall from your hand as you collapse backwards.

Nikolai was quick on the uptake as he slid behind catching you before you smacked against the ground. "Well that was fun, What do you suppose she meant though?" He asks with a curious head tilt, looking from Fyodor to the paper with the flower on it.

"I've never seen a flower like this before." Oguri mutters, picking up the paper only to have it pulled from his hands.

"Neither have I, but I bet the book leads to this flower among other things." Fyodor spoke, examining the picture in its every detail before waving his hand. "Take her back to her room, Nikolai. Be careful with her or I'll kill you."

"Oh, Dosu-san is serious, that's rare!~" Nikolai smiles, lifting you up in his arms cradling you against his chest. "Don't worry I'll keep Alice safe, maybe she can stay in our wonderland forever~" He giggles to himself as he exits, walking to the left by one right angle before opening the door to your room.

Easing your body down against the bed he observes your face before you mutter softly, a tear sliding down your cheek.


Leaning forward he slides his tongue against your skin, licking away the salty tear grinning. "Mhm, you're an interesting toy..I want to break you and see what Dosu-san will do.."


I had fun writing a bunch of Fyodors people into this chapter!

Specially Nikolai >3<

I hope you guys like Nikolai too cause a lot of the next chapters center around the reader of course and him. I like him soooooooooo much ahhhh

If you enjoyed this chapter don't be afraid to leave a comment or press that kudo button~! <3

Chapter Text


Nikolai deserves to be protected D:


"Are you awake, Alice?"

Your eyes narrowed as threateningly as possible at the familiar face of the man named Nikolai Gogol. His half obscured face, not even beginning to cover just how much of a true enigma he really was. He was one of the hardest people you've ever come across to read, and not knowing what his true intentions were when he was in the room was truly frightening.

"I told you to stop calling me that."

He smiled widely chuckling as he pushed in a cart that had a cup of tea and a rather Delicious looking pastry on it. "But dear Alice, you live in our wonderland now and must get used to the true insanity that will begin to unfold soon." Those words had you cautiously watching as he strolled the cart right over to you, a charming smile reflected on his handsome face.

Damn him for being so fucking hard to read! One minute he's silly and then the next he says ominous shit like that, he's scarier than Fyodor with his poisonous aura.

You shivered at the mere thought of those murky purple eyes watching you, judging you, casing your every movement and reactions. He was like a master chess player, before you even started to make your own move..he already had you checked.

"What the hell does that mean? I've been here for two weeks and you people have yet to make any decisive moves." You viciously slapped his hand away when he started reaching for you, taking a precautionary step backwards after grabbing the cup of tea from the cart.

"Don't touch me."

A normal person might of looked distraught from the way you treated them but, oh no, Nikolai was still smiling, in fact he seemed extremely amused by your defiance. He sat down on your bed, and motioned to the cake that was still on the cart.

"If you don't eat the cake I brought you, I'm going to force it down your throat."

Your heart thumped from his ability to send a shuddering chill down your spine, just from the tone in his voice and yet he still had a calm raised smile on his lips. The blue in his eye looked almost innocent and playful, like he was begging you to egg him on.

"I c-can eat on my own." You assured him, trying to raise your shoulders and steady your back showing him the confidence in your body. "You can get out of my room now, the cart will be at the door when I'm done with it."

"That's not a nice way to treat your guest Alice, I came to visit you." He raised both of his legs crossing them, as he sat and turned his body fully towards your own. "Dosu-san told me not to tell you this, but~ I like pressing his buttons."

He held such a playful smile on his face as he spoke, "Your friend Dazai Osamu and the short one with a hat Nakahara Chuuya, found one of our old warehouses. You should of seen his face he was really annoyed, cause that building wasn't on any records, your friends are good."

You were surprised by how genuinely delighted and impressed with your friends he was. He spoke almost fondly, as he told you in detail about how close to finding you they actually were. He made it sound like it would be mere days before this manor was uncovered as well.

"Aren't you excited, you'll get to see your scary boyfriend soon?~"

Instantly you scoffed, why was everyone so frightened of him? And even more determined to tell you how dark and cruel he was years ago, when he was first recruited into the Mafia. None of the darkness from the past mattered to you, because you had your own shadows as well.

"Don't judge a person by an old past." You muttered quietly thinking about everything the man you loved did that brought a sense of peace to your life. "He can be a loving man, and even if he shows me his darkest side, I'll accept all of him."

Nikolai seemed to be searching your face for something, of what you had no idea, but he seemed determined as he even started leaning closer making you both uncomfortable and nervous. You were caught so off guard by his sudden approach that, you didn't have enough time to react till he was pulling you against his chest giving you...what felt like a hug?

"You're so cute, maybe you'd accept all of my darkness as well?"

For a moment your eyes softened, he was a lost soul just like Dazai. Someone pained and troubled by their past, maybe he had some malicious tendencies but he could still be calm and somewhat gentle.

At least that's what you thought..till he was sinking his teeth into the side of your neck. Instantly you screeched in utter shock, shoving both fists hard into his chest sending him flying backwards hard enough that his entire body smacked against the ground.

"What the fucking hell?!" You screamed picking up the fork off the plate with the pastry on it, chunking it at Nikolai so hard that it barely missed him as he rolled to the side letting it clank hard against the ground.

He started laughing rather loudly, before sitting on the ground and looking at you with those calm blue eyes. "You're so deliciously Naive, that I could just eat you..I couldn't help myself." He grinned wildly as he picked himself up off the ground, sliding his eyes passed your own to focus on the mark your fingers were covering against your neck.

"That was just a love bite, Alice. Hope I didn't hurt you too much~"

The angrier you got, the heavier arch to your brows, and the louder your voice got as it escalated into one obscenity after the other, only seemed to amuse him even more.

"Get the fuck out of my room, you fucking psychotic clown!" You roared, pointing aggressively at the door flexing both of your hands, as they switched between bawled fists and shaking fingers.

"Alright, alright, I'm going. Don't forget to eat your cake" He chuckled, walking towards the door pausing after he'd already turned the knob. "Is there anything you want me to bring you tomorrow, when I come visit little miss Alice?"

"What I want you to fucking bring me is my damn book."

Nikolai's blue eyes narrowed but he wasn't even facing you, like he knew you were already going to say that. "My, My, Alice you ask for the Azalea book everyday. You'll be reunited with it soon enough, just be patient." He held a Cheshire grin on his handsome face as he left the room, leaving you to your aggressively arched brows.

Your body relaxed once he was officially gone, sliding a few of your fingers against the teeth marks he'd given your neck. They were actually pretty deep, as you could feel nearly every indention of his teeth in your skin..not to mention how the wound was pulsating in a sharp tingly pain.

"Dammit..why is everyone here so psychotic..?" The heaviest groan escaped your lips as you leaned back on the bed, resting your head against the pillows.

Nikolai wasn't the only weirdo here, not including Fyodor who had his own scale. Their was also the man that seemed like a somewhat butler named Ivan. Sometimes he would also come by your room, but unlike the chatty clown, he never said a word and only left you cups of tea or coffee on the desk near the door. Sometimes you wouldn't even hear him come in, the only way you even knew he'd been by would be a cup sitting on the desk.

"I..want the Book of Azalea.." You whispered to yourself, gripping a hand over your chest feeling a bit hazy. Every time you thought about the book, your desire to have it in your arms rose. From the moment you walked into Fyodor's office and your body and soul knew it was was like you were magnetically drawn to it.

It was like a needy and desperate desire deep inside, that was different from the longing your felt for Dazai. This feeling was more anxious, and it felt like if you didn't have it in your hands soon you'd start going through withdraw.

A scowl formed on your face it wasn't even like you enjoyed what happened when the book was in your hands, possession, loud voices, this overwhelming power that flowered through your skin, that felt as familiar as the blood within it.

"I want my damn book.."

Soon your eyes slid closed, a warm enveloping sleep taking over. It was exhausting being in this place, not being with the one you loved or your amazing friends, where sometimes the hardest thing about life was trying to balance homework with the black life of the Mafia.

Such normalcy you found yourself suddenly craving. Social awkwardness from school, a boyfriend with a rough past, a best friend whose loved you longer than you can remember taking a back seat on his own feelings just so you'll be happy, homework that isn't actually very hard just tedious.

Things have changed sense 2 years ago when you believed a normal life wasn't terrible it was just something you would never have. How you craved a simple school life, living with your love, and hanging with your friends.

Thoughts and memories danced through your dreams, from Dazai to your mother. Everything from good to bad, to terrible and wonderful. You'd have to pay homage to your mother for raising you the way she did, other wise you'd be some weak little girl..and unprepared for the danger in your'd be lost and crying.

It wasn't till some time later that you were awoken from your slumber by the creaking sound of your door, but it wasn't so much the door that woke it was that feeling of prickly light and tingly inducing warmth.

My book is near.

Slowly you sat up in bed, looking at Fyodors murky purples eyes. It was odd how he seemed slightly out of breath, yet still showed you a confident Cheshire like smirk.

"It's time for us to take our leave Princess."

"What? Where are you taking me now?!" It was exasperating being a captive, all you wanted to do was go home. "I want my fucking book, and I want to go home!" You weren't even thinking about the book found those words included in your desire to go home.

He glanced behind him, before pushing open your door and showing you the leather bound book you craved. "If you want the Azalea book, come with me." Even before your lips parted he was already turning and walking down the hall, confusion rung heavily in your body but you found yourself trailing behind him like a kitten.

It took mere moments to notice the disarray the people in the hallway were. They were running back and forth, numerous people you'd never even seen before. It wasn't till you'd passed by a corner down that hall that Nikolai, joined both you and Fyodor in stride.

He smiled at you, glancing over the mark on your neck before turning to face Fyodor. "Dosu-san, everything is prepared. The carriage is waiting for Alice. Ivan and Oguri are up top as well." He turned back to you with an oddly cheery demeanor.

"Alice are you afraid of heights?"

You blinked in utter confusion from his question and ability to bounce his thought process all over the place, he was truly a mysterious person. Despite how you didn't think such a question was relevant, you still answered him, saying you weren't.

Suddenly you were hiking up stair case after stair case by time you'd reached the top you were sweating and out of breath, muttering to yourself how you needed to get out more. When the door to the roof was opened, your eyes widened immensely at a large black helicopter.

"What in the world..?"

In your stunned stupor Fyodor grabs your wrist dragging you over, "We're leaving, I finally figured out where the flower you drew days ago blooms." He merely chuckles at the confused flutter to your eyes, but slow realization forms when you remember the shape of a certain flower that's been in your dreams lately.

You weren't exactly fighting the tug of his hands, as he pulled you into the helicopter sitting you near the door while he talked to the pilot about something. Ivan and Oguri took seats as far away from you as possible making you blink in confusion. Nikolai however, sat almost in your lap as he grasped your hand and twined your fingers together.

"I've never been in a helicopter before. I wonder if we will crash?" He was smiling but their was something about his words, maybe it was the way he said it. Was he scared? His face wouldn't display any fear but the grip of his hand seemed like he wanted someone to steady him.

"If we crash I'm using you as an air bag." A normal person would of been offended by your attitude, but he started laughing delightfully, giving your hand a comforting squeeze. For a moment you could see Nikolai as one of your good friends if circumstances had been different.


The sound of his voice has your head whipping around so fast, detaching from Nikolai so quickly you'd nearly given yourself whiplash. Beautiful brown eyes are the first thing you see, along with fluffy perfectly framed hair around his handsome face, as well as the painful realization that he has new bandages around his head and neck.

"Osamu...?" You question softly, tears tingling in your eyes like you hadn't seen him in years. Without realizing it you'd taken several steps towards the exit, full intentions to run towards your beloved, but the helicopter starts to take off after a hiss of an order from Fyodor.

Nikolai grabs your hand before you can take a hard tumble out the door, but you fight and tug trying to pull away from him, holding out your other hand to Dazai, singular minded in your happiness to see him again.

"Damn Alice, sit down or your going to make one hell of a bloody pancake!" Nikolai hisses using both hands to tug but, not only do you not listen, its as if you're determined to jump from the air and be caught by Dazai.

Fyodor knows if he doesn't do something quick your struggling is going to unbalance the helicopter and could cause it to tip and kill you all. He thrusts out his hand cupping your face turning you towards him, your face instantly contorting into a scowl as you demand he let you go..but the moment he grabs your hand and places the Azalea book in your palm..not only do you instantly calm down pink glow hazing over your eyes, you smile opening the book only to rip a page and toss it out the opening seconds before it shuts.

The deepest scowl forms on Fyodors face, murderous intent in his eyes as he stretches out his hand with full intentions to grip your hair, and cause you pain..but you wag your finger at him. The pink in your eyes ever prominent, face looking calm, serene, and happy.

"Your flower is well hidden, only she will be able to see it. 'Thyn beauty reflected in her eyes, not another soul ever born will know." The voice was yours, but the words were not. "Treat her well or be destined to die."

Your eyes fluttered before you tilted your head curiously, looking between Fyodor and the book in your hands. "What..was I just saying?" You murmured catching everyone off guard, it would seem the book had a mind of its own when it was in your both wanted to protect you and lead you.

Despite your confusion holding the book makes you smile, before you bring it close to your chest hugging tightly like it was an old friend. "Ah, I feel like I've been reunited with something..I lost a long time ago.." You whispered, as you edged down to your knee's forgetting that you were in fact in a helicopter.

"Your words are so kind.." You hummed, closing your eyes letting the voice that seemed to flow directly into your mind, relax your entire body. The words were almost motherly, but it was a male voice..they seemed to completely understand you.

"Who are you talking to Alice, Have you gone crazy?" Nikolai bent down next to you with a snicker, but the moment your calm face lifted pink gleam in your eyes, you placed a hand on the edge of his mask and slid it away.

"Two personalities, two tendencies, a smile or a frown, a laugh or cry, you cannot hide behind a mask, theere is no need, you're two sides of the same coin, and not as crazy as you make yourself seem."

Both of his eyes rose, a curious tilt to his head but before he could say anything, you collapsed forward into his chest. Your body was completely lax, as he pulled you into his lap and looked down at your face that seemed completely at ease in his arms.

"Dosu-san, I know I asked before, but can we keep Alice forever?"


God I'm so bias for Nikolai, i just want to protect him Q_Q

What did you throw to Dazai? How did he find you? Was Chuuya with him?

Find out next chapter!!~

If you liked this chapter don't forget to tap the kudo button or leave a comment~<3

Chapter Text


"What the hell did she throw you, I hope its a fucking map." Hisses Chuuya as he drags one of the many people he's beaten to a bloody pup in his endeavors to reach the rooftop. Where Dazai had said Fyodor would more than likely take you. Since they had both seen expense reports for a rare helicopter.

"I don't know, this is some foreign language." He mumbles flipping the paper up and down in his hands, looking at the words from every possible angle but none of the lines or patterns make any since at all. "The only thing I recognize is this waterfall..but I can't remember from where."

"Let me see it!" Chuuya demands snatching the paper, but he understands those letters even less than Dazai. "What in the world is this language...It looks so gobbled up it couldn't possibly make any sense.." He mumbles, scowling deeply before turning back to the bodyguard on the floor.

"Where did that rat bastard take my damn Rabbit? If you don't fucking tell me, I wont be afraid to dismember you piece by piece till nothing but your head is left." The gleam in his intense sapphire eyes revealed how true such a threat was, but it didn't matter the guy only screamed over and over again that he had no idea.

"M-master Fyodor never tells anyone where he's going! At least not those who are not in his close command, I'm s-sorry please don't kill me!"

Dazai is impassive to the screams he hears behind him, as his former partner refuses to believe a single word the guard says. Chocolate eyes glance all around the roof focusing on the memory of your face. Your expression reflected perfectly how he felt inside but those desperate emotions wouldn't show up on his stoic face he always had to be calm and collected.

She was so close, I could perfectly make out the color of her beautiful eyes. If only I had been a little faster dealing with the rats subordinates I might of actually been up here before she boarded that helicopter. (Y/n)..looked so relieved and sad at the same time.

Shaking his head he turns back ignoring the pools of blood on the ground as he snatches the paper Chuuya carelessly dropped to the ground back. "Leave him alone, if he doesn't know bleeding him dry wont accomplish anything."

"HAH?! Dazai, you shitty waste of bandage..we were so fucking Rabbit was right fucking there..I saw her...I s-should of been able to rescue her already!"

Mauve eyes remain emotionless as gloved hands grip his trench coats collar, the ferocity and desperation in his eyes reflecting how deeply he cares about you. Seeing such a raw display of Chuuya's emotion nearly feels Dazai with disgust, he never wanted see how truly in love with you he was.

"If you don't calm down you're going to cause (Y/n)'s death, and I promise you...I will invent a new type of torture just to show you how greatly I would hate that."

Chuuya's blue eyes narrow before releasing Dazai, turning to kick nonchalantly at the body on the ground. "Finally you display some sort of emotion for her, you'd been so poised and charismatic and nearly emotionless I wasn't sure if you even wanted her back." He chooses to omit the parts where you clearly were working through the nights without sleep to track down information.

"Chuuya is stupid and impulsive just like the old days, so one of us needs to remain calm. I'll do the thinking for the both of us, when have my plans ever failed?"

Instantly Chuuya scoffs but he must admit to a certain amount of truth in his words. If anyone had the brains and the intelligence to track you down it would most certainly be Dazai Osamu.

"I think I might know how to find out where their going, I need a topical map and access to satellite feeds. Plus there still might be something here in his manor, lets go."

Dazai holds the paper in his hands stepping forward with furtive determination, listening to the clacking of Chuuya's boots as he trails behind him. He needed to act fast, he didn't want to admit it but he knew very well how the rat thought. Once he obtained whatever he was after he would dispose of you, so he needed to make sure he found you before it was to late.


White and pink veined flowers swirled inside your head, they were utterly beautiful and very fragrant. You had no idea such a blossom could smell so sweet, and yet at the same time such a flavor seemed familiar to your mind and body.

Holding out both of your hands instantly the petals fall right into your palms like they've been waiting for you. The soft sensation kisses at your skin almost bathing you in their flavor, before a pink glow slowly twinges into life. The light is both nostalgic and warm like you were born under these rays.

"Princess, may the flowers protect you."

A voice both soft and echo inducing inside your head appears to be coming from the flower in your hand. Again a certain feeling of familiarity swarms your body, but at the same time you feel lost full of doubt but the voice assures he means no harm.

Suddenly your eyes flutter open, feeling hazy and dizzy a small headache clouding the back of your head. With a soft groan you turn to the side laying against something white and very soft, finding such a pillow soothing.

"There, there Alice, you should feel better soon."

Instantly your eyes snap open pulling back so quickly your eyes start to spin in a complete circle as you loose your balance and start to fall backwards. However, slender hands loop around your back before you can become acquainted with the floor tugging you completely against his chest.

"Don't move around so much Alice, we're still in a helicopter after all."

"Nikolai...ugh let me go, or I might throw up on you...I feel so sick.." You groan to him, missing the look of soft curiosity on his face as he lifts his hand slowly petting a circle against your back. Such a gesture is oddly gentle, and actually very soothing so for a moment you choose to relax in his grasp.

He grins having half the mind to bite you again, but suddenly you relax your body pressing your cheek against his chest closing your eyes mumbling that he has a nice vanilla scent. Thoughts of teasing and/or hurting you disappear from his head, as he wraps both of his hands around your back giving Fyodor a charming Cheshire grin before resting his head atop yours.

"If you wanted a hug Alice, you should of asked sooner~"

You manage a tired laugh, letting your headache and nausea die down before finally lifting your head. He frowns gripping your wrist and pouting like a toddler, when you try to stand just so you can look out the window.

"It's over already? I want another one."

You push at his face with an annoyed huff when he tries pulling you back in for another hug. "S-stupid stop being so clingy, for one I have a boyfriend and second of all that ass hat over there kidnapped me so I'm pretty sure I should hate all of you." You point a slender finger at Fyodor, whom looks surprised that you insulted him before chuckling.

"My dear Princess, kidnapped is such a harsh word I prefer to think of it as borrowing with indefinite term of release." His murky purple eyes sent a shiver down your spine, but you still scoffed at his attempt to be coy. If anything he was a whole other type of crazy, and you had no idea how to deal with him.

"Dosu-san is right, I want you to stay with us forever. Help us find the flowers he wants and you can become part of our organization." Nikolai smiles like he's recruiting one of his best friends to join his favorite after school club. He even threads his fingers with one of your hands pulling you close so he can lay his head on your shoulder.

In the process his hat toppled to the floor but he didn't seem to mind, such a warm wanting gesture from him made you realize he was being truthful. He really did want you to stay around, but at the same time you knew if you gave Fyodor what he wanted in all likelihood he would kill you. Nikolai didn't seem to understand, or maybe he thought his word was enough to assure you would be spared.

"I'm impressed Miss (Y/n), you've charmed one of my coldest killers into acting like a kitten." Fyodor smiled, when you looked up like he was being truthful but a glance down to his palm pressing flatly against his leg told you otherwise. Such a micro expression foretold, he was rather displeased.

"The pilot informs me we will be lading soon, so everyone should brace themselves." Declares Ivan more to Fyodor then to anyone else as he bows politely. They have such a strange relationship but it seems he truly respects his master, and is probably just as cruel.

Turning you shift enough to look out the window, bringing Nikolai with you whom doesn't seem to mind as long as you aren't pulling away entirely. You notice that you're lower to the ground than you thought you would be, the tree's and shrubbery aren't tiny specs but close enough to make out an assortment of blooming blossoms.

Despite how beautiful they appear from your vantage point they are unfamiliar something feels off. Like you expected to recognize them but something about them is unusual but you can't quite place your finger on it.

The moment the helicopter starts to go in for a landing, the cargo bay shakes uncontrollably giving you another extremely terrible headache accompanied with sickening nausea. You would of never have guessed but you have extreme motion sickness when it comes to something like this.

Your eyes clamp shut giving one of Nikolai's hands a furtive squeeze by mistake and that's when you realize his hand is actually shaking as well. Turning you slide your arms around his shoulders meeting his eyes before shutting your own once again, whispering into his ear comforting words only he can hear.

"If we crash into the sea you'll be my flotation device."

His laughter brings a small smile to your face, as you comfort each other till the plane is officially on the ground docking. Fyodor stands after taking off his seat belt whispering something to Ivan, and then something else to the pilot before stepping right over to you and offering his hand.

You give him a dirty sneer slapping his hand away like he's full of disease, "D-don't touch me, I can walk on my own.." Despite how you tried to sound ferocious the moment you stood your legs wobbled and you fell face forward into his chest.

"Oh..J-just give me a moment I can't see straight.."

"My, my a tough girl like you has motion sickness? I would of never expected it, such a frivolous thing to bother someone like you." Fyodor snickers, gripping your wrist rather forcefully before tugging you towards the hatch and shoving you through the opening.

Instantly your eyes darted open, flailing your hands a bit managing to land on your feet but the moment you apply any weight you double over coughing and groaning doing your best to not puke.

The platform and the ground weren't very far away under normal circumstances you would of been fine, but right now you were sick and Fyodor didn't care. If anything he wanted you to suffer, it was clear you'd almost warn out his warm welcome.

"That was mean Dosu-san, Alice can't read if she passes out." Nikolai hummed, jumping down next to your side rubbing your shoulder. A frown ghosted over his features when he saw how actually sick you looked, lips quivering, breathing heavily, and almost the complete refusal to open your eyes.

"It doesn't even matter at this point, I can probably find what I'm looking for without her." Truthfully he has no idea, but he's rather tired of playing the charming host to a brat who doesn't know when she should be afraid.

Nikolai offers his hand to you, but like you did with Fyodor you refuse to take it. Using every ounce of strength you stand, and walk forehead but your vision is heavily blurred and your feet are off balance but something about the smell in the air draws you to a tree growing white and pink flowers.

Placing the palm of your hand on the tree trunk, you glance up as a few petals fall loose from the branches collectively gathering on the top of your head. Picking them up a smile forms on your lips before you place them in your mouth and start chewing on them.

"Why the hell is she eating flowers?" Oguri mutters, pushing his slick hair back like he's to perfect to be out here in the countryside.

"I was wondering the same, but I know some flowers can be used as medicines. Maybe she's trying to alleviate her motion sickness." Ivans almost curious what they taste like, thinking about maybe gathering some up to take back with him. They might make a rather delicious tea.

"Azalea's are used in China as an anesthetic." Fyodor speaks up stepping forward till he's by your side, watching you take a few more petals from the ground and munch on them. "These are not Azalea's...At least none I've seen before. Continue to eat them and we might have to just drag you around when you double over from poison."

His threat only makes a smile curve to your lips, a small pink glowing to your iris's before it fades away when you turn to fully face him. "You'd be right Fyodor, these are not Azalea's. At least not a parent strand of them." He blinks his cold murky eyes at you, refusing to ask what you mean but instead waits for you to continue.

"These are a hybrid flower. If I had to guess, I'd say Chamomile and Azalea cross breeds." You explain rather astutely how chamomile is used to calm nerves and Azalea like he said is a potent anesthetic, but together they form a medical herb that can easily cure nausea and minor headaches.

"I...don't know how I know all that though..." You mumble, swallowing the silky flower in your mouth with a shrug, only to sigh in relief when the sickness inside starts to slowly fade away. "Thank god, I don't feel like throwing up anymore." You turn your piercing eyes to Fyodor issuing him a stern threat not caring how it puts you in danger.

"I would of been more than happy to throw up on you."

You thought you were making him mad, but all he does is smirk. Once again he's back to his charismatic demeanor apparently he only bullies when you can't fight back, what a coward. On the other hand he pulls out a map and begins to curiously look it over, nodding to himself as if confirming something..

"Finding a foreign breed a flowers means we're on the right track. Take a look at this, it's a map of the area does anything jump out to you, Miss (Y/n)?" He turns the parchment around letting you have a complete view, watching your eyes slide over the paper in a curious fashion.

After looking at the map for a few seconds, you realize you have no idea what you're looking for. So of course nothing on the paper looks familiar or even jumps out to you, and its not like it's in a foreign language like the Azalea book.

"Let me see it a second." He lets you pull it from his hands, watching as you bring it closer to your face. The paper doesn't feel as old as one would think a treasure map should be, which has you frowning as you glance up Fyodor. "This isn't the original map is it? It's like a recreation or a forgery?"

"Why does that even matter? It's a perfect replica of the map I assure you."

"I guess it shouldn't..but I don't know..something just feels off.." You mumble turning the map left and right, displaying that you don't really have any idea how to look at a map let alone read it, which has Oguri shouting almost instantly.

"This is a waste of time, she is a child! She can't even read the map."

"Perhaps she needs some classical music to get the creative juices flowing, I completely understand that concept if she does. Mozart and Beethoven are geniuses." Ivan nearly swoons, clasping his white gloved hands together making you sweat drop.

"It doesn't matter what you do, if she's simply to stupid to read the map."

Instantly a sneer comes to your face, as you carelessly drop the map to the ground before walking around the tree, only to grab the lowest branch and start climbing up. Ivan can't help but snicker thinking this is your feeble attempt at trying to escape but Fyodor and Nikolai note the look on your face, it's one with a query in your head as if you're looking for something.

"Nikolai, watch her make sure she doesn't fall to her death. I'll get the real map."

"Roger, leave it to me." He grins with a mock salute, walking around to the other side of the tree before climbing up after you. When his blue eyes glance back at the ground they watch Fyodor step back up into the helicopter with Ivans gracious help.

"Oh, Dear Alice~ Stop climbing so high I'd hate for you to splat against the ground." He calls with a giddy smile, that you choose to ignore climbing higher and higher till you can see above the tree tops, only then do you slide your feet around and sit on the widest branch.

The scenery from such a high place is breathtaking and beautiful. This area is full of lush tall trees probably very old and have been here for a very long time. All the tree's in the distance are each blossoming with something different. This one is the hybrid tree, couple of yards away are some apple tree's, pear tree's, white luscious magnolia trees, and even a few cherry blossom trees.

"All of these blooming tree's can't possibly exist at the same time..something is protecting this that the plant life may bloom as it pleases..."

"Is that so, Alice? That why you climbed the tree? Did you want to see if there were more hybrid type flowers blooming in the vicinity?" Nikolai questions as he pulls himself up right next to you, giving you a curious but cute smile. Ever since you removed his mask he hasn't bothered to put it back on which is kind of pleasing he is rather handsome.

"Part of the reason....the other is your company. Mister slick back hair can issue his insults all he wants, but the fact that none of you realize how rare this tree is right mind boggling in itself. It doesn't take a genius to learn getting a lay of foreign land is the best option at this point."

Nikolai can't help but laugh at the way you puff out your cheeks, despite the way you tried to sound superior. It was clear you were annoyed and didn't like being treated like a second rate person.

"You feel better though? You climbed up here no problem so I guess you're over your motion sickness."

"What I said was true, these flowers have medicinal aspects. Why, do you feel sick too?" Turning you press the back of your hand to his forehead, as if checking to see if he has a fever of some sort missing the odd look in his deep blue eyes.

"No I-"

"Nikolai get your ass back down here, and bring the girl with you!" Oguri interrupts with a loud annoyed yell, resting his hands back to his side as he turns his back. It's clear he doesn't care for either of your, but you are a means to an end that he just doesn't want to keep the pretenses up for.

"Can't stay up here forever I guess.." You murmur standing up on the branch, gazing out at the nice scenery one last time but before you can start climbing down Nikolai suddenly slides one of his hands around your ankle. "What are you doing?" You question with a raised brow, blushing the moment he slides his hand up your inner thigh.

"Don't move Alice, I don't want you to fall." He murmurs, leaning close as he pushes up your skirt making your cheeks swarm with a pink blush. Your hand presses at your skirt trying to cover your panties but it seems that's not his aim as he slides his tongue against your inner thigh before sinking his teeth in.

"S-shit that hurts...stop it Nikolai.." Your other hand pushes at the top of his head, but he doesn't stop till his lips are sucking at your skin assuring that his mark will not fade anytime soon before finally pulling away with a satisfied grin.

"That mark will be our little secret..okay Alice?~" He doesn't even wait for your response before climbing down to the branch bellow, slowly but surely helping you both make it safely back to the ground. When you glance at him with soft pink cheeks he gives you a sly smile, placing his finger on his lips making you instantly turn away with an annoyed huff.

This day just got so much worse.

I miss you Osamu, and of course my Mad Hatter.

Please find me soon.


Oh noes, Nikolai is being a naughty sexy magician!

Will looking at the original map make a difference? Will Dazai and Chuuya be able to figure out where you went from the paper you threw them?

Find out next chapter!~

If you liked this chapter please tap that kudo button or leave me a comment~! <3

Chapter Text


"Here Miss (Y/n) this is the authentic map." Fyodor muses to himself, with a look in his eyes that said he should of held his ground more when you were looking at the replica. He was actually truthful, when he said the maps were relatively the same.

Taking the map from his hands you turn it around and give it a once over. The first thing you note is a smudge at the bottom, it's black looks like it was written in a sharpie but the numbers and letters are a bit jumbled together. It looks like someone tried to scratch it out. They don't look exactly significant so you choose to ignore them.

After a moment of looking the paper over up and down, once again nothing jumps out. Nothing about the maps speaks to you, other than the fact that the paper legitimately feels old like it should be on display in a museum. It feels like you're holding a piece of human history.

"Why did you make a forgery of this map?" You hum, trying to make the question appear nonchalant as you turn and slide past Nikolai walking towards a tree that is completely opposite to the hybrid. Fyodor and his people follow behind you, as you look curiously up at a tree with a few dead leaves on it.

"Shouldn't it be obvious, Miss (Y/n)? The map is really valuable, I couldn't just take it out whenever I wanted." Fyodor's purple eyes follow your gaze up into the tree a small grin appearing on his lips as if he's reminiscing about a memory as he speaks.

"Let's just say obtaining it cost a mixture of money and a display of power."

Your eyes narrow thoughtfully, the reason you walked over to this tree was because this side of the land had tree's that were showing signs of aging as was a fact of life. However, the hybrid tree and everything blooming beyond it were in the prime of it's life. Like you told yourself before something was keeping the plant life in a certain amount of acres alive and prospering.

Fyodor doesn't know it but he's already given you a helpful hint in his words he probably thought sounded coy, displaying he was a man with a plan. However, you've gathered that even with his wealth he stole this map, by paying someone for information.

"Care to share with the class why this tree is so important, Miss?" Ivan murmurs with a clear of his throat, as he taps his long slender fingers along his chin.

Turning around you realize they've been waiting rather patiently as you stared from the map in your hands to up at this tree, back and forth a few times before you became clearly lost in your own thoughts. To be honest you don't want to help Fyodor and his lunatics find whatever it is they are looking for, but it's better to be useful till you can escape or help arrives.

"I don't think this is going to be helpful, it's just an observation.." You started, turning to lean up and grab one of the leaves that were brown, dry and stale to the touch. "But the tree's on this side of the woods are older in appearance, and showing signs of aging. While the other side, with my hybrid and the other blooming tree's, I don't believe there is a single dead leaf over there."

"That's not possible, just because you can't see older leaves doesn't mean anything." Sneered Oguri, as he merely spoke like the tree's were in the spring of their blooming which is why he assumed they were healthy and prosperous.

For a minute Fyodor and Nikolai were both sure you were going to argue that he was wrong, or at least try more to prove your point but all you did was blink at him before smiling. "Ah, Ignorance must be bliss. You're an adult after all and I'm just a high school student, so I guess I can't blame you for that mentality that says there is no way I'm smarter than you."

Instantly he gave you the foulest scowl, darting forward but just before his hands can make it to throttle your neck, Nikolai halts his movements with a tight grip of his wrists mere inches from your skin. There's a playful but eerily small smile on the blondes lips before he speaks.

"Now, Now, Oguri you can't hurt Alice we still need her. Plus she's right."

Oguri gnashes his teeth, wanting to throttle your skinny neck with his claws but a quick glance to Fyodor proves he's gotten ahead of himself when he see's the venomous gleam in those murky purple eyes. Quickly he pulls away from Nikolai's grip with a muttered apology, which has you thinking just how much control Fyodor has over these people he must truly be a dangerous man.

"Miss (Y/n), you were right that wasn't really important. Does my map tell you where we should go next?"

Glancing down to the map, you sigh and decide to be honest. "You were right Fyodor, there was relatively no difference..I am not 100% sure were to go next. Although.." You hum thinking about it before pointing upwards to the hybrid tree you'd climbed to the top of.

"There is a giant field of wild flowers further in the woods with an abnormally large apple tree, I feel drawn to it..So I think we should go check it out." Holding up the map you walk to Fyodors side and show him where it should be located on the map, and he takes it glancing it over before deciding its as good of a place to start as any.

Fyodor walks in front with Ivan, and Oguri on his other side while you and Nikolai walk behind them. Glancing to the side you catch those deep blue eyes, and playful smile on the corner of his lips before turning away with a flustered huff.

Nikolai smiles sliding his hand into yours and threading your fingers together, as he swings back and forth like you're going on a delightful walk through the park. His personality is so all over the place, one minute he can be rather childlike almost innocent, then he can be somewhat serious, and then next thing you know..bam psychotic clown.

"Nee Alice, are you scared of me?"

"Pfft, I don't think 'scared' is the right word." You muttered glancing towards him before a thought crossed your mind, "You're a jack in the box, If I wind you up I'm not sure what side I'm going to get..and that is just a little unsettling."

He blinked his curious blue eyes before appearing delighted, giving your hand a squeeze as he started walking with a wide smile. "Yay, I'm glad Alice isn't frightened of me. That would make me sad." He hummed with a swing of both of your hands before bringing the back of yours up to his lips and placing a surprising warm kiss.

Your instincts told you to retch away but the calm look on his face was different than the other expressions he normally shows you. He was being at peace with himself, and for some reason you just flowed with it. You could only hope he didn't flip his switch back and decide to bite you..because when you let your guard down he always does.

"What draws you to that apple tree Alice? It didn't look much different from the other trees." With a shrug of your shoulders you say, it looked like the tree that had been here the longest. Nikolai grins at your nonchalant attitude, leaning down to whisper so that only you can here him.

"I bet you just wanted to taste one of those apples, they did appear bright red and ripe for the picking."

A small smirk slides up your lips that you try to push down, but it's to late his sharp eyes already saw it making him grins wickedly. "Mhm, don't worry Alice your secret is safe with me." He leans forward enough to place a kiss on your cheek, which had your skin warming but then he decides to tease you with a kitten-like tug on your ear making you yelp and pull away.

"What the hell are you brats doing?" Oguri hisses, with a raised brow like you both are a complete waste of his time.

"Nikolai probably wants to torture her like the rest of his victims. You can't though, not yet at least. Fyodor-sama still needs her ability. Once she's run out of uses you can do with her whatever you want." He grins maliciously, the debonair air that was surrounding him before completely gone, the look on his face saying he'd delightfully join in if he was torturing you.

You sneer at both of them, trying to tug away from Nikolai's hand but he's refusing to let you go. Eventually you just give in, thinking as hard as you can about the best method to get away from all these crazy people. It takes about 20-30mins to walk into the field you'd described before, which has your eyes awing at all the beautiful assortment of different flowers.

The flower field is as far as the eye can see, till the grass meets the tree's encompassing it. When you spot the apple tree, you'd seen before its a lot bigger than you thought. Walking over to it, it's branches and lush greenery jut out into the sky. The apples on the branches are a bright vivid red, just calling to you to pick one.

The moment you place your hand on the tree a soft pink glows over your eyes, but the only one to notice such a display is the one whose refusing to leave your side Nikolai. "Oh, You're the oldest tree on this land. The first one ever planted, all that time ago.." You murmur as if speaking to a long lost friend, the information in your head passing like a memory but it's not your own.

"I've never seen a tree quite as big as this really is more lush and prosperous than the tree's around it." Murmurs Ivan with a curious head tilt, looking from you and the apple tree to the ones in the surrounding area, sure they are booming but they look younger in a way, like they hadn't been here that long.

"If we cut it down the rings inside will tell us how old it is." Oguri snickers, immediately meeting a slap from the right palm of your head. When you hear resounding gasps of surprise, you realize you just made a really bad move..but it was like your body acted on it's own. Jumping behind Nikola, you use him as a shield.

"Woops, I d-don't know why I did that..b-but who the hell would cut down a beautiful tree like this. I'm not helping you crazy psychos if it destroys the life on this land." You murmur, pressing both hands on Nikolai's back as if you're genuinely sure he'll protect you.

Nikolai smiles standing his ground as Oguri approaches with both fists bawled but he seems skeptical of whether he can truly take the mad clown. After a thoughtful moment he lowers his hands and stomps away issuing you a small threat, that says he'll make your life is a living hell when this is over.

Little did he know you'd already lived through something like that, so his threat carried little to no weight. Sighing in relief you pull away from Nikolai, as he turns around to face you with a giddy smile on his face. Of which you try to ignore turning and reaching for the nearest apple but it's further away than it seemed.

Suddenly Nikolai's wraps his hands around your waist picking you up, making you squeak and press both of your hands against his head but he merely chuckles. "I'm just helping you reach the apple Alice, go ahead and grab it." He encourages, with a soft smile showing you just how much closer you are to the one you wanted.

With a soft huff you grab the apple and pull it from the branches, being lowered back on the ground a few moments later. "Thanks..I could of just climbed the tree.." You murmured, looking the apple over admiring its bright red and lush features behind opening your mouth to take a bite.

Little did you know the moment your teeth sunk in, so did Nikolai's taking a bite at the same time pulling away with a delighted smile on his face as he licked his lips. "Mhm, it really is juicy and succulent. Thanks for sharing~" He giggled, acting like a child without a care in the world that had you shaking your head.

You try to ignore his giddy features with a sigh, chomping the apple with an annoyed huff till it's just down to its core. Glancing around you note Fyodor is examining another tree a little further away, with Ivan by his side. Oguri, has distanced himself less he stab you with his innate desire to pay you back for the slap you'd given him.

Turning you try to casually distance yourself more from them, in hopes of finding a means to escape..however the moment you start to round the tree on the other side of the apple one a hand grips your wrist pulling you backwards to smack against the bark.

He covers your mouth with the palm of his hand, and that's when you glare up at Nikolai's deep blue eyes reprimanding yourself silently for forgetting how close he was. He grins placing one of his fingers on the edge of his lips telling you to hush, or the others are going to notice.

"Now, Now Alice, where are you going? You can't just leave me." He places both of his hands on either side of your head, trapping you between him and the tree against your back.

"G-get off me, Nikolai. I'm leaving, I'm tired of your band of crazy..Once Fyodor gets whatever he wants he's going to kill me. Maybe that would make you happy, but I fucking enjoy living. I have a life to get back to." You spat in a hiss-like whisper, trying to display your contempt for Fyodor while at the same time trying not to be to loud.

A frown ghosted over his features, before he shook his head somberly. "No, Alice I want you to live. I want you to be apart of our wonderland forever." He spoke a soft tune of honesty to his voice, as he placed one of his hands on your cheek and gave your skin a gentle caress.

Your cheeks tinted with soft blush, as you watched him lean forward and instinctively placed your hands on his chest trying to push him away. However, he merely grabbed both of your wrist and shoved them above your head as he pressed his body into yours.

"The apple wasn't the only thing that looked succulent earlier." He had a low trill to his voice that had your shivering, moments before he was pressing the edge of his lips against yours.

You were so caught of guard that you never even had the mind to struggle while your head played tricks on you and made you realize how soft and warm his lips actually were. He pulled away after just a few seconds of a kiss that stole the flavor of your lips.

Your face was a mass of blushes, but the moment your lips parted he slide both of his hands away from your wrist and wrapped them around your back hugging you close to his chest. "I never kissed anyone before, but when I'm with Alice I just can't help myself.." He hummed as if delighted with the feeling he just experienced.

He..h-he just gave me his first kiss? This crazy psychotic actually capable of being gentle. What Am I I can't fall for him...

It felt like your mind was clouded with a warm fog, as you lifted your hands and wrapped them around his back enjoying his soft hug. However, your mind wasn't so fogged that you didn't remember who your heart really belonged to as you pushed away and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry Nikolai, My heart belongs to someone else."

He slowly blinked his bright blue eyes a few times, a small frown ghosting over his features as he lifted his hand and pressed it back against your cheek before pulling you to meet his lips once again. Where he grinned delightfully at the way you tried to pull away but he held you close in his hands possessively snaking them around your waist as he whispered words into your ear that sent a cold chill of ice through your veins.

"Dear Alice, I don't care if you like someone else. Right now you're mine."


Nikolai so hot and likey <3


I think i have a thing for like the yandere-like scenario

Also These chapters are progressing the story a bit slower because I want to show Nikolai and Readers relationship(with moments like this hehe)

If you like this chapter please tap that kudo button or leave a comment~! <3

Chapter Text


Nikolai was like a lovable puppy and aggressive guard dog that refused to leave your side. He had your heart in disarray, and made you doubt the love you felt for Dazai but when it came down to it you still loved and missed those chocolate brown eyes and his white ribboned body more dearly than anything else.

"Miss (Y/n), we found this apple tree like you suggested. However, there is nothing of importance here? If you're not useful I'll just get rid of you. I have no desire to keep worthless pawns." Spoke the venomously smooth voice of Fyodor, as he turned and walked over to you with the map in his hand making you sneer.

"Mislabeling your pieces in this game will cause you to lose."

Snatching the map from his hands, you turned and started climbing the tree. Fyodor's purple eyes held a bitter haze of discontent but even he knew he couldn't get rid of you just yet. "Don't worry Dosu-san, I'll keep my eyes on Alice." Nikolai grinned widely already following behind you, stopping at your side when you paused to examine the map and look out into the distance.

"Mhm, Alice let me hold you." You gasp as his hands snake around your hips from behind, but he merely whispers into your ear that he doesn't want you to fall. "Just relax, I wont let anything happen to you." He vowed resting his chin atop your fluffy tresses before taking a small whiff enjoying your soothing fruity aroma.

Blushing you really wanted to pull away from him, but deemed that not to be the best idea when the force could knock you off balance and make you step off the branch. Taking a deep breath you tried to concentrate, but even though the map was a detailed layout of this land it wasn't proving to be very helpful.

"Not sure where to go next, huh Alice?"

You sighed heavily surprising him with a lean of your body against his chest, looking up at the blue sky observing some of the fluffy white clouds. "No, I don't know what I'm looking for..but I know I'm suppose to be here.." You muttered more to yourself than to him, as you had him shift enough to where you could be next to the body of the tree while he was still behind you.

"This tree to do something..I just don't.." Placing your hand on the bark, your eyes glimmered with a soft pink for just a few seconds before disappearing. "Oh, it makes me feel so I'm being reacquainted with an old friend.." You hummed, glancing up along the bark seeing that you weren't anywhere near the top which gave you an idea.

"Nikolai, Help me get to the top of this tree." That felt like the best course of action given this tree was blooming in such a way that it was smack dab in the middle of the map, growing almost all by itself and jutting sharply into the sky like it was cloud level height. Leaning up you grabbed the next branch but before you could start hoisting yourself up he pulled you back down with a exited gleam to his blue eyes.

"I would love to help you pretty Alice~" You gasped as he edged you backwards and hovered his handsome face right over your own. One of his hands petted your cheek in a soft admiring way before gliding his thumb over both of your soft pink lips and issuing you a small toll he wanted you to pay.

"But I want a kiss first~"

Your face warmed drowning in his deep eccentric ocean blue eyes before squeezing your own shut and sharply turning your cheek away. He grinned finding your embarrassed face to be extremely cute as he leaned down to whisper against the shell of your ear.

"Or I could call to Dosu-san, Ivan, and Oguri...Tell them where you want to go, make them follow us up here?" He did not know the meaning of the word chill, as he felt drawn to the amount of neck you were showing him as he leaned down and ran the tip of his nose against it.

You involuntarily shuttered blushing and lifting your hands to push at his chest but again while in a tree your options of defense were very limited. He brought up a good point though, you'd been up here for awhile if they got to curious they could be on their way up right now. Time was of the essence if you wanted to ensure Fyodor didn't get his hands on whatever he wanted.

Turning your head you surprised him with a press of your hand on his cheek as you leaned forward, and gave his other a soft kiss. "There. You didn't say where.." You mumbled turning away again, missing the way he gave his cheek a curious little rub before leaning back.

"That's not exactly what I wanted, but I never been kissed on the cheek either so I'll accept it." He had a giddy smile on his face as he clasped his hands together excitedly and told you to turn around so he could help you climb upwards.

A small sigh escaped as you did as told, and hoisted yourself up with his help. This went on, as you both climbed branch after branch. Nikolai was actually really helpful, and even when Fyodor called from the ground he lied to him and said you were still observing the map.

He honestly really made you wonder if he was so in love he'd go against a man like Fyodor who seemed to be his boss just to help you. Then you were reminded of something he said a few days ago about wanting to see what type of reactions and faces he could get him to make like he thoroughly enjoyed poking a bee's nest with a stick.

Eventually when you both were almost near the top, but between the branches and resting atop the middle of a flat part of the bark was an actual open area where apple blossom flowers were blooming in vivid bright beautiful colors. Stepping through the leaves and shrubbery you cautiously tested the surface and found it to be very solid.

Nikolai followed at your side as you both curiously noted the rather beautiful scenery, that seemed like it had leaped out from a book of fairy tales. It even had a nice fragrant aroma, that was soothing and peaceful to all of your senses. At least it was till you stepped forward and your shoe stubbed over something hard, making you lose your balance and crash forward.

You expected to get a face full of leaves, but instead when you looked down you'd fallen directly on top of Nikolai. Whom blinked at your almost innocently before grinning ear to ear and snaking his hands around your hips bringing you down even closer to his body.

"I didn't know you wanted me so much Alice~" He practically purred rubbing his soft cheek against your own making your heart pound out of control. How can this killer and crazy psychotic clown be so fucking cute and adorable like a toddler? It was completely illogical that it made your head spin.

"S-stupid, I just tripped.." You huffed pushing as his cheek, making him whine and rock your bodies back forth like he was throwing a tantrum. "Let me go you big baby, so I can see what I tripped on." Groaning in frustration from his complete refusal to let you go, you finally wiggled free from his grasp and crawled over to an odd bump in the grass.

"Wait a second..this.." Grabbing the grass you pulled it off the ground and blinked rapidly it wasn't even real. It was more like camouflage to hide, a square shaped panel/door that was built into the trees trunk. "Is this an entrance maybe?" You thoughtfully hummed running your fingers along the door and over a dial that seemed to need a combination like a safe.

"Seems like it, this shape is large enough to fit a human figure." Nikolai spoke from your side, also examining the strange door with both of his hands. He gave what looked like a handle a hard yank but shook his head, clearly it wasn't going to open unless you cracked it's code.

"That handle must of been what I tripped over. But how the hell am I suppose to figure out a code to something I don't know anything about!" You hissed in frustration, grabbing the handle with both hands jostling it back and forth but it wasn't budging at all.

Heaving an exasperated sigh you leaned back on your knee's only to yelp, when Nikolai gripped your hips and tugged you into his lap. Both of his hands wrapped around your waist giggling at the way you wiggled and struggled in his grasp.

"Be still Alice, you need to relax. Otherwise you wont be able to crack the code." He smiled merely hugging you from behind as he laid his cheek against your shoulder. Your skin warmed but he really was murmuring encouraging words into the rim of your ear. In this moment he really did just seem like a cute guy with a crush.

Sighing softly you took a couple of slow breaths, looking down at the wooden door frame trying to piece together all the information you'd been given so far. Honestly, everything you'd been through in the Mafia should prepare you for something like this. However, no matter how hard you felt like you didn't have the right amount of info.

Leaning forward you fingers span the knob but it didn't make any obvious noises to let you know what the numbers were. His hands slid away from your waist, brushing his fingers through your hair where he surprised you by magically producing a red handkerchief tying your hair into a nice ponytail.

You tilted your head back and forth swaying your hair, raising your eyebrows at him with an almost curious flutter. "I like your long hair Alice, but it looked like it was getting in your way." He hummed giving you a wide playful smile.

"Thanks..I guess.." You murmured glancing away only to spot the map you'd been holding before flopped on the ground. Leaning off of his lap you crawled over and grabbed it, glancing it over with a tired sigh before spotting the smudged writing at the bottom. Now that you were focusing on it without Fyodor hovering over you, it actually kind of looked like..

"Oh my god it couldn't possible be these numbers..." You skepticism was high, as you tried to make them out and slowly span the knob to the numbers you thought it was, but the first set you tried failed to unlock it. Just as you were about to give up, you got an idea and flipped them putting them in backwards.

You shared a look with Nikolai who was overly curious now too as he leaned on his knee's and watched you give the handle a tug and this time it actually let you pull it up revealing what looked like a dark as the night bottomless pit.

"This is..inside this tree..?"

"That's weird, it's a wide tree but it doesn't look hollow like this from the outside." Nikolai mused leaning into the darkness like he was trying to make out any shapes inside, but it was covered in shadows. "Oh, Alice it has a ladder right bellow the opening. It goes down all the way into the spooky darkness~." He giggled wiggling his fingers as he made playful ghostly noises, which made you laugh an shove at his shoulder.

"Down the rabbit hole we go Alice, this is very appropriate." He grinned, saying he would go first as a means to protect you which had you smiling just a little bit. You watched intently as he eased himself down, making sure his feet would hold before grabbing the ladder with his hands. It was one of those rope ones with lots of knots all over for hand holds.

Once he had climbed down enough for you to have some space, you followed in after him. Your heart was pounding trying not to think of how high you could be, and instead focused completely on your hands and the tight grip you had on the ropes.

"Just go slow, okay? Make sure your foot is sturdy on the next rung before you move further down." Nikolai explained as he made sure you were both going slow, climbing down into the darkest abyss of the inner lining of this tree. The core seemed colder than you expected and it even had the softest waft of wind meaning there was some kind of opening at the bottom.

The light from the opening above was really helpful, as it gave you both enough brightness to at least make out the ladder, but that wasn't the only thing Nikolai could see as he glanced up and had an enticing view up under your skirt. He could make out the curves of your ass and the intimate shape of your lower lips.

"Mhm, I see London, I see France, I see my sweet Alice's underpants!~" He sung delightfully, making you squeak so loud it literally echoed into the darkness as you looked down and realized the only reason he wanted to go first down this ladder was just to look up your skirt.

"Stupid! Pervert! Psychotic clown! Stop looking!" You hissed insult after insult lifting one of your legs to kick at his face, but he giggled and dodged easily.

Suddenly the grip you had on the rope slips away, the base and palm of your hand sweaty from the heat trapped in this confined space. Your heart lurches from your chest as you desperately try to re-grab the ladder but all of your fingers miss and intern your balance is thrown completely off.

"KYAAAAAAAAA!~" You squeal at the top of your lungs, dropping at lightning speed into the darkness. Without thinking Nikolai instantly dove after you, jutting both of his hands out to yank at your wrist till you were pressed against his chest. Out of complete and utter desperation you squeeze him as tightly as possible tears forming in your eyes, life flashing before your very eyes.

His grip is vice-like as he uses every strength he has to flip your positions so that he's falling first and you're shielded by his body fully prepared to take on the blunt force of the fall just for you.

Your heart is caught in your throat and your eyes refuse to open, as you hold him tightly like your only lifeline. Both of you are expecting the worse but before you can register whats going on both of your bodies slam harshly into...a lake of cold water?

The blue liquid envelops both of your bodies as you blink open your eyes and realize that you're not dead. Even Nikolai blinks up at you likes he's completely stunned before swimming you both up to the surface where you gulp desperately for air.

"Oh my god, this water is pink?!" You gasp darting your eyes left and right, swishing your legs back and forth trying to remain afloat. The lake stretches pretty far along what clearly looks like a cave, it must be under that tree in the middle of the field. Even the depth of the water seems to pool deep down beneath the surface.

A memory passes through your head, images and people you don't even know. Revealing to you why the water is pink, and what it can do. A language hazing from your lips that Nikolai didn't understand, a bright and luminous pink glow to your eyes as you speak.

Your face contorts in pain squeezing both of your eyes shut as your hands jut up to your head. Everything hazing in a dizzying lightning speed inside your head, causing your body to flail and flounder till you are slipping into the water.

"Angh! To many images, to many people, please please make it stop!" You wale in desperation, huddling yourself as close to your body as possible as you sink into the pink water around you.

"Please Princessa, do not fear. Relax and become one with the Aqua Azalea."

A gentle voice within encourages you as you huddle your arms and legs as close to your body as possible, letting the pink water around envelop and cloak your very being. The liquid coating your skin is actually very warm and soothing, the fatigue and fear you were feeling moments before washing away.

It's so I'm being hugged by a dear friend..

A hand grasps your own and starts pulling you up, no matter how hard you try you can't get your eyes to open. Once above the water you cough and sputter leaning into and wrapping your tired arms around whom ever is holding you so tightly. Your mind so cloudy that you can't remember whom you came in here with and delude yourself with thoughts that it's Dazai because of how protectively they are cradling you

It's not Dazai though, It's Nikolai whom started to panic when you sank into the water. He was now holding you and swimming towards the shore as carefully as he could, till he managed to lift your body up and out of the water. Once he tugs himself out with a groan of annoyance, he tosses of his heavily weighed down by water cloak before tapping your cheek.

"Hey Alice, Are you okay?" When you don't respond he sighs, you've passed out from shock or something. He still doesn't know what happened to you or what language you were speaking, but it seemed to cause you a bit of pain and discomfort.

"Nikolai Gogol, I'd like to ask you to kindly step away from my girlfriend."

"I'd like you to back the fuck up from my Rabbit, before I turn you into clown sashimi."


dun DUn DUN

Our two favorite people have finally arrived on the scene!?

Where's Fyodor he can't be to far behind?!

Did you enjoy cuddly Nikolai <3

Stay tuned for next chapter!~

Don't forget to tap that kudo button or leave a comment if you enjoy this story~! <3