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i float in a boat

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"i float in a boat, in a raging black ocean"

duke sat down beside the other two heathers; she felt distant; the other two were chatting to each other, something about make-up and nerds; heather drowned out the conversation ages ago; how she wanted to challenge chandler but always ending up with just another 'shut up heather', the ebony haired girl took out her copy of 'moby dick' a book she was know for carrying around, she quickly flicked around till she found her bookmark on page one-hundred and fourty-three; skimming over the book that she had read so many times,

'heather, go find kurt and ram'

chandler had demanded, with a quick sigh heather shook her head and looked up from her book.

'no heather, go get them yourself'

she whispered, loud enough for chandler to hear however, an instant wave of regret flowed through heather's body as soon as she had spoken the words, god why was she such an idiot chandler probably hated her.

'no you'

chandler nearly spat at the girl in green, the venom in her eyes casting a wave over the girls body, and without another word she left, she knew she should of protested more but it probably wouldn't go well anyway, so what was the point; yeah right, there was none, it felt like walking on eggshells to be honest.

                       ---                               

 

"low in the water with no where to go"

duke woke up everyday like everyother person at westerburg, she woke up at five-thirty a.m everyday like everyother person in westerburg, she was just like everyother person at westerburg,

except she wasn't

no; she was a heather; the title that kept the thin line between her and everyother person at school, it wasn't like she hated being a heather; far from it, she had some power, only a little but it was fine, she could get away with things like bullying, or it was just that the teachers didn't care; it was just one thing, she was trapped, she had no where to go, she could n e v e r leave, cause if she left she'd just be another martha dumptruck, even after everything she did to get her body just... decent enough to be a heather, after everything she did if she left she would be just another martha, but the girl could never leave, she'd be a fool to, after all only a fool would leave the most popular click in school, right?

                                   ---

"the tinest lifeboat, full of people i know"

people, not friends but people, they weren't her friends, maybe mac was her friend maybe, but they both knew that neither her nor mac were actually 'friends' with chandler; yeah they gossiped together and yes they would have sleepovers, but chandler liked them more than most, but they weren't real friends, she had a real friend, 'martha dumptruck' but that was years ago and heather refused to even talk to her now, she knew it was mean but it would be social suicide to talk to dumptruck again.

it felt like she knew alot of people, it felt like she knew hundreds of people and yeah, she did know at least six-hundred people, but somehow she really only knew seven at most of them, and even that was sretching it, that was another problem of being a heather, like chandler said once to the two girls.

"people either want you as a friend or a fuck"

it was probably the most true thing chandler has ever said to either of the two girls, they had basically a zero percent chance of making a real friend, because no one wanted them because they were nice or something, no people only wanted them because they were hot and popular and rich, and that was it, that was all that mattered,                        hot, popular and rich

                                    ---

"cold, clammy and crowded, the people smell desprate"

they were at a party, oh how much heather wishes they never showed up to this party, they were sixteen, and they had been invited to a frat party at a university near sherwood, it was okay at the time but horrible looking back onto it, they all were drunk, chandler being the most; she was flirting with these guys before they left; quickly after they left thing other tall men showed up, it was kind of creepy, the said the wanted to take them to a room; being drunk the three girls agreed, it was such a stupid move, as soon as the got in heather heard a loud bash, followed them being pinned up to the walls,

'come here sugarbuns'

she heard one of the boys say to chandler as the boy pinning her up tried to kiss her, they all knew what they wanted, and they were not going to give it to them if they had any say in it.

'run!!'

she heard the drunked chandler yell as she had kicked her way out, the shocked men quickly dropped them with fright as the three tried to run, it was dark and cold and they didn't know where the were going until the heard mac scream, then duke felt cold big hands on her neck.

'we have the them'

"we'll sink any minute, so someone must go"

they were sinking, heather felt those cold yet sweaty hands on her neck then her knees going weak and her falling to the ground hearing heather chandler's screaming.

she woke up somewhat later, beside heather and heather, memory a blur and her head dizzy and her legs still weak, she has some idea what happened, but thankfully no memory of it.

                                  ---

"the tinest lifeboat full of people i know"

heather's small lifeboat was getting bigger, though bigger doesn't always meen better; sometimes it meant worse, it know felt like those three uni students from there party were now there, the girl who hit her at a party felt like she was there too; so many people, so many people, so many people whom she fucking hated, there were so many of them, oh lord it was awful.

"everyones pushing everyones fighting!"

of course things weren't better at home because of course they weren't, heather rolled her eyes as she came in from the door, yelling, of course yelling is the first thing she hears; why during all this at school do her parents have to be fighting again.

"i swear miranda you have to stop drinking!"

she hears her father yell from the living room, she doesn't even bother telling her parents she was back; the probably wouldn't notice anyway, she flung her door shut in hopes to read a new book, she had finished 'moby dick' for the fifth time this year and was honestly getting a little tired of it by now; but nope all she can hear is more fucking yelling and shouting, heather pickes up instead an old 'childrens' book she used to love; 'under the hawthron tree' it was a book about the irish famine, it was good though, she skipped to page eight where the book began and started to read.

                                  ---

"storms are approching theres no where to hide"

there were currently three storms in heathers life, one in school and two from home, it was the worst; of course they storm at school was chandler, it made sense though, she really acted like a storm, angry and dangerous, chandler could be both those things, do anything to set her off and you've basically made a hurricane, thanks whoever you are, fuck you.

but the two storms at home massivly outwayed chandler by a long shot, first of all her parents were getting divorced; great, her father had already said he wanted to move back to korea which means she would hardly ever get to see him, she favoured her father by far but also wished to stay in america

the second family storm however really took the cake, it was the custody battle, both of her parents fighting for all of there children, anyone who knew basic law, of course heather did; would know that the mother is more likly to get her children, however; heather didn't really think her mother should even be aloud to keep her children since she was usaully drunk on the couch, but the law is law and heather ended up with her mother and ten year old brother jax, while her seven year old sister, ava went back to korea with her father, gosh would she miss them.

                                     ---

"if i say the wrong thing or i wear the wrong outfit they'll throw me right over the side!"

heather liked what she was wearing, she also thought chandler and mac would like it, it was green like chandler told her she had to wear, she wore a black turtle-neck jumper with a red green and black plaid skirt and red heels, she also had ger long black locks down with a red beanie, why in lords name did she wear so much red today, to make sure chandler wouldn't get made however, she but her scrunchie on her wrist.

heather got to school walking to her licker like she always did, she noticed that chandler and mac were still at there lockers beside her.

'hey heather'

she smiled opening her locker to get her books, she had accidentily left some books there the day before, it sorta happened alot, as alot of people had said they have never seen duke without a book in her hand.

'oh hi heathe- what are you wearing? red? heather you can't wear red thats my colour'

chandler spat throwimg heather a sharp glare, if looks could kill she'd be dead as she closed her locker, how dare duke wear her colours, who does she think she was, the red heather sent a death glare to the other girl.

'shut up heather it's just a colour'

the green heather glared, yet her voice was more of a mumble of course loud enough for chandler to hear like always, without a second thought chandler just pushed the heather towards her locker with duke hitting her back and falling onto the locker; the red girl just smiled her charming sly smile and walked away with mac.

no no no no no, heather felt tears running down her face as she sat at her locker, she should of known better than to wear red, god she was such an idiot, and why didn't mac help her, or stand up for her or something? why would her only friend do that, the thought just made her cry more, god she was such a fucking idiot.

                                    ---

"i'm hugging my knees and the captian is pointing, well who made her captain!"

the three heathers were at a sleepover, and because of course duke did something stupid, they were at chandler's house, they usually were since mac's dad was always away and heather couldn't have friends over.

'heather go get everyone's shit'

the strawberry blonde heather demanded, if she had just done what she had said, if she had just been the perfect little follower, nothing would of happened.

'why should i?'

the green heather spat rolling her eyes chandler, it wasn't her things so why did she always have to be the slave?

'because i'm incharge heather'

the strawberry blonde told her gritting her teeth at the girl, why wouldn't duke just do what she wanted.

'who made you captain!'

duke yelled, oh no she was crying again, she looked at the red heather in the eye who looked pissed at that point in time,

'fine! mac get the bags!'

chandler screamed at tge top of her lungs with mac almost immeditaly leaving, the red heather took a smug smile to her face and chuckled at heather,

'see heather some people actually respect me'

she spoke, it was in a mean and they both knew it, but she was still a heather, still hot and still popular, it was a fair trade-off to have to deal with chandler

                                     ---

"still the weakest must go, the tinest lifeboat full of people i know"

heather sighed, veronica sawyer, why oh why, one more person to add to that go forsaken lifeboat if hers, it honestly felt like it was sinking at this point, or was it, yeah it was, verinica had been in there group for a week and chandler had ignored duke for the whole week.

'move!'

chandler stated throwing the green heather onto the floor as the she and veronica walked by, heather felt like crying, this happens every single time though, but still she felt like crying, in one last attempt not to cry she hummed to herself

"the tinest lifeboat, full of people i know"