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Putting on a Show

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Putting On A Show

Amethyst liked Rainbow Quartz, don’t get her wrong. But there were times when he got more than a little… much.

Now was one of those times. It was Greg’s fault, really - he’d insisted on karaoke night to cool off, not that there’d been much for her to cool off from (apparently it had been a hard week at the car wash, which didn’t affect her in any way.) Steven and Pearl had decided to do a duet, they’d gotten particularly into it, one thing led to another, and now Rainbow was belting out Bowie on the beach in front of her.

Again, she wasn’t upset with him, don’t get her wrong - but he was loud, he was confident, he was very friendly, and it had started to get a bit much for one night.

Thankfully, he seemed to accept her excuse without issue (“A bit knackered, are we? Fair enough, cheerio!”) and she’d been able to head inside. Now she sat on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

“Amethyst? Are you okay?”

Amethyst would have expected Peridot or Connie or even Garnet to check in - Bismuth was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.

“‘Sup, Bis,” said Amethyst, “I’m just… kinda bummed I guess?”

“Pebble for your thoughts?”

Bismuth sat down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Rainbow’s fun,” said Amethyst, “That should be great, right? But I feel… well, I was supposed to be the fun one, right? And without that, I sorta feel… flat?”

She shrugged.

“Plus I’m pretty sure if he ever met a real English person they’d punch him in the…”

“Hey, c’mon Ames, you’re just as fun as he is,” replied Bismuth, “I mean, I’ve known a lot of gems in my time, and very, very few of ‘em know how to let their hair down like you. You’re a riot!”

Amethyst muttered noncommittally.

“...buuuuut if you want to, you and I could go out n’ show Rainbow how it’s done,” added Bismuth conspiratorially.

Amethyst raised an eyebrow.

“What’ve you got in mind, Bismuth?”


Rainbow had grown bored of karaoke and had now taken up stand-up improv. It was going down well, even if nobody but Greg knew what a Morris Minor was, and even he didn’t get the joke particularly, when the door to the Beach House suddenly burst open.

Gooooooooooooooood evening Beach City!

Rainbow turned to the deck, his eyes widening.


The figure was tall and heavily built, two wide smiles on her face. Her hair was long and tinted with rainbow colours, and her mouth was split roughly in the middle. She wore a long coat over a messy shirt and jeans, her four arms clapping together as she took in the small group before her.

“Name’s Antimony!” she declared with her left mouth in a high-pitched, almost Brooklyn accent, “And I’m here to take back the crown of Most Funnest Gem from-”

“-hey, rockhead!” the right mouth snapped, the voice lower, “You’re s’posed to explain why you’re doin’ this?”

“Oh, of course,” left-mouth said, “Sorry me.”

She jumped high into the air and landed next to Rainbow, kicking up a cloud of sand.

“Sorry, I talk to myself sometimes,” she said with her left mouth, “Two mouths, you dig?”

Connie chuckled, and Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

“Ah,” he said, “Amethyst and Bismuth! You’ve made a striking fusion, certainly, but what’s all this nonsense about ‘Most Funnest Gem?’”

“Can it, knucklehead!” declared Antimony with her right-mouth.

“Antimony! Rude!” said left-mouth, “We’ve noticed you’ve been gettin’ a lot of attention for, how should I put it, puttin’ on a show? And we wanna challenge that reputation o’ yours…”

“...with a dance off!” declared right-mouth.

“A… dance off?”

Rainbow scratched his chin.

“I accept, chum!” he declared, “But be warned! Nobody breaks down like Rainbow Quartz 2.0, guv!”

“We’ll see about that, mac,” Antimony’s right mouth declared, “Greg! Give us a beat!”

“I… uh… sure, okay,” replied Greg, reaching for the stereo.

Rainbow and Antimony grinned as the air filled with what might be termed the ‘sickest’ of beats, ready for the contest. Deep down, both knew nothing serious was on the line, and that there could be no true winner.

On the contrary - both would be the winner, because this?

This promised to be a riot.