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Third Time's A Charm

Chapter Text

The first time a class accidentally ran into Peter at the tower, Peter was sure that this would be the end of his life as he had known it. Because if Peter had known that a class was coming to visit, he would have tried to either get away as far as possible, or make sure that he was doing something around the tower that could be seen as either educative or productive. But Peter - poor, stupid, idiotic Peter - hadn’t known, and was thus witnessed by about 30 kids and some more adults that were supervising them as he nearly electrocuted himself by his new web fluid. Followed by loud cackling, obviously, because that’s what one does when they just figured how to make their web fluid electric.


Arguably, not his best moment.


However, that was all before Peter found out exactly who the kids were that had seen him stunt around the lab. He was okay with making a fool of himself in front of strangers, because even if strangers would tell on the story, he was still an anonymous kid that did some weird shit in said stories. Those people wouldn’t know his face and he wouldn’t be remembered by the weird shit he had done. Doing weird shit in front of people he knew, however? That was just a recipe for disaster.


And Peter finding out that the most recent field trip was a class of students from Midtown High, however, was the biggest recipe for the worst disaster possible, if you were to believe his own words.


He had tried to play it cool, of course. When the first student approached Peter and asked him if it was really Peter that they all saw during the field trip, the first thing his mind did was blank and give him the best possible solution and easiest answer in this scenario: run away and pretend that he didn’t get scared of being interrogated by a kid because he recognised Peter from his antics at the Tower. Normally, Peter would try to get those ideas out of his idea and instead go for the normal and boring option, to just answer the question and let it be.


Luckily for Peter and his poor thinking skills, right at that moment the bell rang and he excused himself to the younger student, mumbling something of a lab he had to go to and that he hoped the kid had still enjoyed the field trip, before running off and hoping that he didn’t come off as if he was trying to evade the question too much.


His brain was being an absolute dickhead while Peter was running to catch his next class, chiming in with constant repeats of the fact that Peter had just chosen the easy way out, even if he did have no choice to do so. Instead of dwelling too much on the thoughts - Peter knew that if he did exactly that, he would soon be caught in a negative spiral that he wouldn’t be able to escape from - he tried to shake them away and entered his classroom.


Once his teacher started talking about sulphuric acids Peter found himself quickly forgetting the incident, instead focussing on his class and the formulas that were being written on the board.




For some gods forsaken reason, nobody had come up to Peter to ask about the incident at Stark Industries afterwards. Either they all decided to drop the subject and be satisfied with his lack of a proper answer, the kids had simply forgotten about it - there were more important and cool things to focus on than a dweeb from one of the upper classes making a fool of himself - or they had decided to theorise the shit out of the matter without discussing it directly with Peter. He didn’t know, nor did he care about it, really. Peter instead tried to focus on his classes, on any upcoming field trips to Stark Industries and whether he would be able to help out on any - Mr. Stark was currently looking into having Peter guide on of the tours - and had nearly forgotten about the whole incident as a whole.


That was, of course, until Flash brought it up in the hallway.


“Hey Penis! Heard you were seen at Stark Industries recently blowing up a laboratory.”


At this point, Peter had almost given up the topic of ever being brought up again. He was wrong - of course he was wrong - but because of this it took a solid minute before Peter actually understood what Flash was talking about.


This was, obviously, not because Peter had a tendency to blow up laboratories nearly every day. Of course not. Whoever told you that was a) probably Shuri and b) totally, completely, and absolutely wrong.


But instead of playing dumb or dragging on the topic for too long, Peter turned to Flash and gave the other a small smile.


“I did say I was an intern there, didn’t I?”


And with that, Peter turned around and went to find his friends who had abandoned him in the hallway, leaving a stunned Flash behind him.




Peter should’ve known that it wasn’t going to stay as a one time thing. He had a tendency to attract accidents and turn himself into a walking disaster and once he found out that another class of Midtown High was going to visit Stark Industries on a day that he was working there, he should have just called Mr. Stark and stay away from Stark Industries for that day.


Peter - sweet, innocent, dumb Peter - had thought, however, that he could handle this, and that he wouldn’t cause too much trouble this time. As per usual, he thought wrong.


This time, however, the incident wasn’t revolved around Peter making a fool of himself while nearly electrocuting himself - thank Thor - but rather around Peter fucking around at Stark Industries just because he can.


And thus, another group of underclassmen walk in on Peter trying to modify Mr. Stark’s roomba so that it not only would follow Mr. Stark around the tower but also play music while doing so. This project took a bit longer than Peter liked to admit, which might have been code language for ‘this project isn’t working out at all’ but Peter wouldn’t admit that to anyone. It would have been okay if they had walked in on any moment of the process where Peter wasn’t running around in glee because it finally worked out, nearly knocking into the table while doing so.


Knowing Peter’s luck, the group of students of course had to enter right as he did knock his side into the table, falling over to the ground while also trying not to look like a fool. On top of that, Peter had the very unfortunate luck of doing so while being followed by a roomba ironically playing Whatcha’ Say by Jason Derulo while doing so.


Of course, because what else was one supposed to do with their free time and a spare roomba?




This time, word traveled around faster than you could say ‘spiderman’ and the next school day hadn’t even properly started before Peter was already cornered by a horde of smaller kids asking him about Stark Industries and why exactly Peter was there. Instead of freaking out like he did the first time, however, Peter just shrugged his shoulders and told them that he worked there, so of course he would hang around there.


The questioning didn’t stop there, for some reason.


Okay, the kids moved on after Peter had answered their burning question, but for some reason, his answer did the exact opposite of his stupid antics at Stark Industries, which meant that they very much stayed within the group of students he gave his answer to minus a few of them because he wasn’t believable enough. Because of this, Peter got approached nearly a dozen times after that by other students asking him a different range of questions, going from whether it was really him at the tower - Peter had decided to just give them the standard answer - to one student even asking him if he was Tony Stark’s biological son.


Peter tried to ignore as much of those questions as possible, even if he wanted to answer those kids with ‘I wish’ so badly. Most of the times his answers didn’t even matter, as the kids took their own conclusions based on Peter’s reaction to their questions.


This, however, much to Peter’s dismay, lead to a couple of absolute ridiculous gossips going around Midtown High. His words, of course. Ned and MJ had found it absolutely hilarious once they heard about them. Ranging from Peter living with Mr. Stark - which he kind of was, but Peter was too scared to actually ask Mr. Stark whether that was official or not - all the way until people saying that he was an alien from outer space currently dating Thor.


It sounded like an amazing reality, and MJ absolutely slapped the complete shit out of Peter when he told her that.


Those rumours had also lead to Flash standing in front of Peter again, looking absolutely mad, flabbergasted, somewhat victorious, and incredibly out of breath all at the same time.


“You’re lying.”


It was normal for Flash to make comments diminishing Peter’s existence, so Peter wasn’t really shocked by the statement, much more about the fact that Peter had no clue what Flash was talking about (According to Flash, nearly everything Peter ever mentioned about himself was a lie).


“I’m sorry, what?”


Flash looked more irritated by the fact that Peter still had no clue what he was talking about rather than the idea that Peter might be lying about his identity. Peter wanted to laugh, really, because the whole situation seemed too ridiculous to be true. Flash, however, didn’t seem to find the whole situation as amusing as Peter found it.


“You’re lying about the whole internship thing! There is no way that any of those stories are true, nor that you actually have an internship at Stark Industries! How the fuck did you get those kids to spread those awful rumours?”


At this, Peter really couldn’t help but let a laugh out at Flash’s words.


“Why are you so bothered by those rumours?” He asked Flash right as the bell started ringing (why was he always asked about the legitimacy of him being at Stark Industries whenever a new class was about to start? Was the universe granting him an easy way out for all the good he tried to do as Spiderman? Was the writer of this story just lazy? Who knows, certainly not Peter, but that didn’t mean that he would object to it.). “Most of them are just that, rumours. Except, of course, the fact that I have an internship there, because why would I lie about that?”


Maybe, Peter thought to himself as he walked away, maybe Flash was just hoping that Peter didn’t actually have an internship at Stark Industries so he wouldn’t feel bad about not having one either.




“Hey Kid.”


Mr. Stark didn’t come into Peter’s laboratory very often, choosing most of the time to just leave Peter alone so Peter could just fuck around and do whatever he wanted to do without interrupting Mr. Stark. It might also be because Mr. Stark just didn’t want to constantly get embarrassed by Peter’s antics, but that was just a theory of Shuri to annoy the shit out of Peter.


To actually have Mr. Stark walk into his laboratory - it felt strange to call it his, even if it didn’t hold an occupant before him and the door now had a glittery nameplate with Peter’s name on it - was a whole different experience in and of its own. The only other time this had happened was in one of the first few weeks when Peter had just started his actual internship - Mr. Stark thought it would be a good idea to set through with that so it could help Peter’s future - and was just messing around with some squid ink to try and colour his web fluid so it would blend in better in the dark.


Needless to say that that didn’t go as well as anyone could have hoped for (except maybe Deadpool. Peter suspected that he would find some joy in seeing someone getting sprayed with ink in their eye.).


Luckily for both Peter and Mr. Stark, this time Peter was merely lounging upside down on a chair wondering whether or not stars had feelings. You know, the usual, important stuff.


“Mr. Stark Sir!” Peter nearly fell out of his chair when Mr. Stark knocked on the door but stood up quickly, trying to act as normal as possible. “I didn’t know you were coming. Is there something wrong? Something you need help with?”


Instead of answering Peter, Mr. Stark simply sat down on one of the many tables in the room, as any respectful bisexual would do. Although you probably shouldn’t tell Mr. Stark that Peter said that again , as Peter for sure wouldn’t hear the end of it.


“Do you remember the field trips to Stark Industries?”

Peter just nodded at that. Of course he remembered that there were field trips to the tower nearly every day. Even if he would spontaneously forget about them, the students at Midtown High clearly didn’t, nor did they forget about the fact that Peter had managed to embarrass himself on two of them already.


“Then you might also remember me mentioning that I would look into having you as a guide during some of those trips, right?”


That Peter had very conveniently forgotten, though he would never tell Mr. Stark that he had. Instead he just nodded, waiting for Mr. Stark to continue with his story. Peter could kind of guess where it was leading up to, but he didn’t want to assume things in case Mr. Stark came to bear bad news instead of good news.


“Well kid, do you have anything special planned next week?”




From the moment that the first rumours hit Midtown High, Flash was certain that Peter had somehow found a way to hack into the systems of Stark Industries to get inside so the younger kids would see him there, thus creating the illusion that somehow, Tony had actually approached Parker and offered him an internship.


There was no way that Parker, out of all students of Midtown High, was chosen personally by The Tony himself as an intern, and especially not in such a high position. In Flash’s humble opinion and following his well-acquired facts, Peter had very obviously spread the first rumours of his internship in the first place in an attempt to gain attention, and was now trying his best to keep the whole idea of him being besties with Iron Man to try and stay relevant.


But Peter kept up with the whole act, insisting every time someone asked him about seeing him at Stark Industries that of course he was there, of course they had seen him there, he had a fucking internship over at Stark Industries that you all clearly don’t have you idiots .


So yeah, maybe Flash was bitter about Peter’s so called internship. Maybe. A little bit. Not enough to actually care or anything.


Flash was certain, however, that once their class was going on their field trip to Stark Industries, that he was finally going to catch Peter on his lie, because there was no way that Parker could keep up with the whole act once they were at the place of his so-called internship.


And then Peter revealed that he wouldn’t be going on the field trip.


He had some other activities to attend, that were somehow more important than a trip to fucking Stark Industries . Not only that, but for some reason Parker actually got excused from the field trip by their teacher, although neither of them wanted to tell Flash exactly what it was that Parker was going to do instead. Their teacher just told Flash to go and ask Peter about it if he wanted to know so badly, while Peter just shrugged his shoulders and said that Flash would find out soon enough.


Now that they were nearing Stark Industries, Flash was only feeling more certain that this whole fiasco was just a big lie and this was Parker’s last attempt at covering it up. It was a genius attempt, really, Flash had to admit that. Because who could be faced with the sad, bitter truth if they weren’t there to physically look reality in the eye?


Not that it was going to stop Flash from finding out the truth, of course. It was going to be a bit harder, not having Parker around to laugh in his face when the truth was revealed, but he was going to continue with his plan even if it would be the last thing that he would do.


Flash was certain that Parker was just back at home, lounging around his living room and stalling his inevitable doom. Where else could the dude even be? Parker’s life was about as interesting as Spiderman’s if the superhero had never become Spiderman.


What Flash didn’t expect, however, was to walk into Stark Industries and see Peter standing there, as if he was waiting for something or someone. Just as their class had finally entered the lobby, Parker moved towards them, as if it was them that he had been waiting for. Was it even Peter? Flash was starting to doubt everything he knew and thought was true. Perhaps it was just a look-alike, the true origin of the rumours going around Midtown High.


There was even a chance that Flash was just imagining things, going slightly crazy because of his dedication towards figuring out the truth. Yeah, that must have been it. Flash was simply going crazy, and Peter had lied his way through the coincidental issue in an attempt to become more popular, if that was even something he could ever achieve.


Just then, the might-be-Peter-Parker-might-be-a-look-alike guy walked closer towards their class as they all grouped together, their teacher telling them that they had to wait for a short while as their tour guide would be their soon.


Flash didn’t get time to dwindle on the outcome of this or think about the implications (o god he didn’t think about the implications), let alone wonder how Parker (if this was even the real Parker, because he still couldn’t really believe it) had managed to get here. Because the moment that his inevitable freak-out was about to hit, the dude actually walked up towards the group, wearing a hoodie that very clearly said “guide” on the front.


“Hi everybody! You might already know me, but I’m Peter Parker and I’ll be your tour guide for today’s trip at Stark Industries!”

The only thing Flash could do instead was just stare at Peter as he wondered how the fuck Parker managed to actually get there as their tour guide. Oh he was so going to bust Parker’s lying ass.

Chapter Text

The first time Peter joined a field trip around Stark Industries, he was only a little bit nervous about the whole thing.


Okay, that was a straight-up (gay-up? bi-up? was that even a thing?) lie. Peter was terrified, afraid of fucking up and embarrassing himself in front of even more people. He had proven on multiple occasions - read: nearly every day - how capable of this he was, and he was afraid that with the added responsibility of being a guide he would only fall further down the hole called ‘being an absolute embarrassment’.


Luckily for Peter and his sanity, the class he had to co-supervise and guide around Stark Industries was from Manhattan and had no fucking clue who Peter even was. Even if he did end up doing some weird or questionable shit, he would just be ‘that one tour guide from the field trip’ instead of ‘Peter Parker, the guy that can and will probably trip over nothing’. It took some of the pressure off, but that didn’t mean that it was completely gone. He wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t disappoint Mr. Stark and show him that he had made a good choice by letting Peter help with all the trips to Stark Industries.


Peter was assigned to help  with guiding the group around the tower. Nothing more, nothing less, simply making sure the kids wouldn’t stray off and get themselves lost somewhere in the building. Peter had heard a few too many stories of kids who attempted this in hope of finding some secret hidden passage leading them to a supercool secret they could share with their classmates, only to get themselves locked in in a storage closet. One would think that after the first few times and the new warnings at the start of each tour would help get the numbers down, but for some reason kids just didn’t want to listen.


Peter was absolutely not surprised to hear this. Kids were little shits who, when faced with the opportunity, took every chance they could to be as destructive as possible just because they could.


Before the class had arrived at Stark Industries, Peter was left waiting all by himself in the lobby for anyone else to join him. He knew that he was too early but his anxiety had him waiting there for half an hour regardless, afraid that he somehow would end up disappointing Mr. Stark and that Mr. Stark would end up rethinking his decision of trusting Peter with this.


Peter was fiddling with the button that said tour guide on it, putting it on and taking it off his shirt again and again while he tried to make time pass by faster. It was stupid, and at some point Peter was sure that he poked a few holes too big in his shirt, as well as accidentally stabbing his finger in the process. But there was a band-aid over it, and the holes in his shirt were mostly covered by the button, and only three kids had come up to him to ask him what had happened.


At the end of the day, when Peter had returned to his lab completely tired and happy from how the day had gone, Mr. Stark came in to check up on him. He only took one look at Peter’s bandaged hand, at the tattered shirt he was wearing, and lastly at the somehow broken button that was laying on the table, before walking off, muttering about how Peter was such a little kid that needed help with nearly everything. As the door closed, Peter hoped that he hadn’t somehow managed to fuck up at the last moment, trying to focus on his project instead so his mind wouldn’t get distracted too much.


The next morning, however, Peter found a sweater lying on his desk, complete with a note on top. As he picked up the note to read it, he noticed how the sweater said “guide” in big, blue letters on front.


The note was written in some messy handwriting, but Peter had seen it often enough to notice that it was Mr. Stark who had written it. He didn’t need the little T.S. at the bottom to confirm that for him, but the idea that Mr. Stark had written the note just for him made him quite happy and Peter couldn’t help but smile as he put the note to the side to focus on his project again.




The second time Peter had to help out on a field trip his nerves had decided to, very sadly, not leave him alone. It helped a bit that he was wearing his new sweater, however, and that he didn’t have the chance to stab himself again with the stupid button. It also helped that about four employees who had walked past him already had commented on his new sweater, one of them had even asked him where he had gotten it - it had felt weird to tell her that Mr. Stark had given it to him, a good kind of weird but weird nonetheless - and the little, hand-written note that Peter had found on his desk that morning.


His nerves might have not disappeared, but that didn’t mean that the support of Mr. Stark didn’t help to lessen them.


Now all that was left to do was wait for the class to arrive and hope that nothing would go wrong today.




There was about a ninety-nine per cent chance that Peter had jinxed himself that morning when he told himself that everything was going to work out great and that nothing would go wrong, although he wouldn’t admit that out loud. It was just a coincidence that the universe had chosen today to allow about ten kids to get lost around the tower, each for some reason right after the other had been found again.


Just a coincidence, totally not something Peter had wished and hoped wouldn’t happen today. Kids had a tendency to get lost all the time, so why not suddenly ten of them? Of course it wasn’t the universe getting back at him and his stupid good luck of the past few days. Maybe it was a semi-sadistic writer again, but Peter believed that it was more possible for him to get a boyfriend than for his life to merely be created out of the imagination of one or more writers.


Whether it was karma coming back at him or some cosmic bullshit going on, Peter had to run around the tower finding a couple of 12-year-olds for nearly the whole day. Now that the field trip was over - with luckily nothing else going wrong, and Peter even getting some time to take over the field trip and actually guide the trip instead of just helping out - all that Peter wanted to do was fall on his bed and sleep for the next century or so.


Peter didn’t get the chance to do this, however, as the moment he let his body fall on his bed, someone knocked on his door, disrupting his silence. Peter didn’t even try to look up, instead burying himself even more in the blankets in an attempt to hide away from the world even more.


“Can I come in kid?”


Peter wanted to say no, wanted to turn away and just enjoy his first free moment of the day, but it felt wrong to turn Mr. Stark away now. Instead, Peter just pushed himself up to sit somewhat properly on his bed, making place next to him for Mr. Stark to sit down. Peter had completely expected Mr. Stark to sit down somewhere else in the room - Mr. Stark had a tendency to never sit how society expected people to sit - but against all of his expectations Mr. Stark actually took a seat on Peter’s bed next to Peter.


“How did today go?”


“Except for the kids getting lost around the tower and me having to find them,” Peter looked up at Mr. Stark, a smile displayed on his face as he tried to let go of the worries that had been troubling him earlier that day, “I think it went pretty well.”


Mr. Stark smiled back at him, and Peter couldn’t help but feel happy that him helping out with the trips would end up so well.


“I’m happy to hear that. You’re doing great, kid, really.” Mr. Stark said, to which Peter couldn’t help but smile as he looked down to the ground again. “You know, some of the employees even think that you are ready to guide one tour on your own. If you want to, that is, of course.” Mr. Stark added hastily, sounding almost as if he hadn’t meant to tell Peter about it, but also as if he didn’t want to take them back.


It took Peter a bit by surprise to hear that others thought that he would be capable of handling a tour like that all by himself when he himself didn’t even think he was capable of looking after one clumsy kid called Peter Parker. But even with the unpredictability and chaotic energy that nearly every kid seemed to have, regardless if they were five or fifteen, Peter still had a lot of fun the past week. Being able to go around Stark Industries and show others his favourite places, as well as awe them whenever the odd Avenger was walking around, was an absolute delight to him and it made Peter feel so happy. Getting to help out even more, regardless of how much Peter didn’t think he was ready for it, sounded like a dream come true.


“Wait, you actually want me to help out as a main tour guide? When would I even have time for that? Am I even the right person to do it? What if you all think I’m ready but I’m not and I’ll horribly fail and disappoint every single person living and working here?”


Peter didn’t get much time to dwell on the negative sides and possibilities, however as Mr. Stark interrupted them before they could fully take off.


“Well kid, next week there is a class coming to visit Stark Industries and I do think that you would love helping out there. Didn’t you mention recently about some kids in school not believing your internship?” Mr. Stark said while he stood up.


“Perhaps you can finally show them that they were wrong next week?”




To say that Peter was scared was the understatement of the fucking century. He was terrified, the sudden pressure and responsibility that was placed on him left him more anxious than Peter ever wanted. Yet at the same time there was an unspoken excitement around him, one that he was trying desperately to hold onto and was hoping to replace his anxiety about the whole day as soon as possible.


The moment Mr. Stark told Peter that Peter had the opportunity to guide his own class around Stark Industries, Peter almost said yes before Mr. Stark was even finished speaking. It helped that Mr. Stark had already talked to the principal of Midtown High so Peter didn’t have to worry about any permission from school for technically missing out on the field trip.


The funniest part, of course, was seeing Flash trying to figure out what exactly was going on. Peter knew that Flash had started to doubt the truth behind Peter’s internship, especially after the stories about Peter’s dumb antics had started to make their way around the school. For some reason, however, when Peter told Flash that he wouldn’t be joining them for their field trip, Flash started doubting it even more.


Peter had told Ned and MJ almost immediately about him helping out with the field trip, but even they didn’t know how big Peter’s involvement would be. It made Peter a bit giggly to know that he would be surprising all of his classmates a little bit later when they arrived at Stark Industries and he would be waiting there for them.


If only time could go a bit quicker so he wouldn’t have to wait any longer.




“Hi everybody! You might already know me, but I’m Peter Parker and I’ll be your tour guide for today’s trip at Stark Industries!”


It was fun to see all the shocked faces looking back at him, very obviously not expecting him to be standing in front of them, especially not as their tour guide out of all people. What even Peter didn’t expect, however, was Flash’s reaction to the whole ordeal.

“What the fuck Parker?”


All Peter did was shrug his shoulders at that, somehow already having a response ready.


“I mean, I did say I work here, didn’t I?” Peter just said, a smile on his face as he did. He turned around after that, a new energy surrounding him as he started the tour. He was still nervous, of course he was because he wouldn’t be Peter Parker if he wasn’t, but his nervousness didn’t seem to be paired with impending doom like it did when the day had started. And so Peter asked his class to follow him as he made his way towards the elevator.


Peter was finally looking forward to the rest of the day.

Chapter Text

Flash was not looking forward to the rest of the day.


Flash couldn’t quite believe that this whole thing was actually happening. They were standing in one of the laboratories, paired up in groups, ready to work on programming a small fighter robot as a small contest.


Flash was, sadly, paired up with MJ, who didn’t seem to give on single, flying fuck to the task they were presented with. Flash would have been fine with that, really, if it weren’t for the fact that the actual Tony motherfucking Stark was standing in the room, casually talking to Peter as if it was nothing.


How had Peter managed to get in that spot? Flash already had a hard time believing that Peter had somehow managed to get a spot as a guide for field trips around Stark Industries, even if he kind of had to because that was the situation he somehow ended up in, how unlikely it may have sounded before.


But to see Parker talking to Iron Man as if he was just an average dude when it was clearly Anthony fucking Stark was becoming too much for him to bear. Who had Parker bribed to get in this position and have The Stark pretend to be besties with the dude?


Flash just knew that he had to do something before this shitshow became even more unbelievable.


“Hey Parker!” Both Peter and Tony turned around at the callout, maybe expecting a question from one of the students about the task, but instead were met with Flash just throwing out his unrelated-but-still-very-important-question at Parker. “Why the fuck are you still lying about your internship.”


Peter facepalmed at that, looking and sounding absolutely done with Flash despite the day having just started. Stark, on the other hand, looked at Flash as if he had just said that God is real and it is a flying monster made of spaghetti.


“Kid, what the fuck made you think Peter is lying about his internship?”






Flash was standing somewhere in the back of the lab, not really paying attention to whose robot was winning which fight. Instead he was trying not to focus - and failing at that, but he was trying and that’s what counted - on Peter, who was talking excitedly about something that Flash couldn’t make out to Tony. Fucking. Stark.


To make matters even worse, Stark was looking at Peter talk with a proud look on his face, as if he had heard Peter ramble about absolute nonsense before and actually liked listening to that bullshit.


(It was almost fatherly, but Flash almost immediately tried to throw that thought out of his head. Peter didn’t have any family, and even if he did Tony Fucking Stark surely wasn’t part of that.)


Flash was still trying to figure out what his plan of action would be for the rest of the day when he noticed that with Parker distracting Tony and the rest of his class being very distracted by the robot contest, there was nobody paying attention to any of the computers around. All Flash had to do was hack into the system and locate Parker’s absence on the list of interns et voilà, Flash was the hero of the day again for proving how big of a loser Peter actually is.


Maybe they would even give Flash an internship instead.


Before Flash had the chance to sit down, however, he was stopped by someone’s hand on his shoulder, the weight of it nearly mentally stopping Flash in all his actions as well.


“Is there anywhere you need to go to?”


And if anything wasn’t bad enough yet, Flash of course had to be stopped by The Bruce Banner Of All People in his quest to save his class from all of the ridiculousness that was going on. He hoped that the ground could just open then and there, saving him from the embarrassment that was sure to come. For some reason, however, the universe did not like him at all, deciding that Flash simply had to live through whatever was to come.


“I, uh, I was just looking around a bit?”


Great, not only did he manage to make an absolute fool of himself, he also sounded like he was questioning his whole existence. What an absolutely fantastic first impression must that be.


“That is great and all kid, but you don’t have permission to look around in Mr. Parker’s private lab here.”


It was all part of Flash’s luck, really, choosing to go snooping in a place he wasn’t allowed to and getting caught doing so in the progress.


“Ah, I’m sorry, I’ll just go-wait, did you say Parker’s private lab? How the fuck did he get that?”


He had turned around at that, not quite believing Mr. Banner’s words. Peter had a private lab? How in the fuck did he manage that?


“Yeah, he is Tony’s personal intern. Didn’t you know?”




If this was any other field trip, Flash would have probably looked forward to this bit. They got to exercise! Work out! Show off that he wasn’t just smart, but was athletic as well!


On any other field trip, Flash thought himself, they wouldn’t be taught a bit of hand-to-hand combat, let alone by The Avengers, but Flash wasn’t going to comment on such an amazing-once-in-a-lifetime-literally-nothing-can-ruin-this moment.


Of course, this wasn’t a normal field trip, and if Flash had to take anything out of today it was that he would never, ever, get anything the way he wanted it. But he could hope, and hope he did.


Not that hoping managed to help him out in any way.


“Flash, if you put your thumb inside your fist you will break your fingers with the first punch that you’ll throw. Keep it on the outside of your fist, hold your fists up to your face and keep them there, that way you have a defence up at all times. Got that?”


Flash just nodded at Black Widow, the words she just said to him not really registering as he was watching Peter in the corner of the room absolutely losing his shit over Thor and not daring to approach him. Was this it? Was the loophole Flash had been looking for that easy to find? Peter had obviously never talked to Thor before, and so all Flash had to do was either ask Thor–the Norse God would never lie, Flash was sure of that–or catch Peter in his lie when Flash would finally talk to him again.


Flash didn’t get a chance to think about his plan any further, as he fell to the ground the moment he looked back at Black Widow. He could vaguely recall the feeling of something gently touching his leg, before ultimately being overwhelmed by his back hitting the mat under him.


“And do not forget to always pay attention to your opponent.”


She held her hand out for him so he could get up again, and as much as Flash wanted to lie down on the ground and cry a little–not only did he get his ass kicked by a girl, okay Natasha was one of the Avengers but still, he also managed to get his ass kicked in the most embarrassing way by not being able to do anything about it–he still took her hand.


If anyone would tell you that they saw a tear slip from his eye when he walked to the back of the group Flash would insist that they were blind and that nothing of that sort happened, thank you very fucking much.




It was surprisingly easy to catch Peter alone and talk to him, Flash noted. Maybe he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself so much if he had just tried to talk to Peter first things first, but Flash knew from earlier experience that Peter was a little shit and that talking to him didn’t always prove to be helpful.


Not that Flash had many options left for him to try. What could be wrong with just trying? Sure, maybe he would try something and it would backfire, and sure, today had been super weird, but Flash was certain that he could still gain something useful out of the field trip.


Like the truth, for instance.


“So, Peter, I was seriously wondering how you got all of the Avengers to play along with your plan.” Flash suddenly said as the two of them were watching the rest of their class attempt to fight each other. After his big failure, Flash had quickly decided that he’d rather stay on the side instead of embarrassing himself even further. “I got to say, that really threw me off. Dr. Banner telling me you have your own, private laboratory? It must have cost you a fortune to get him to do that!”


Peter just stood next to him leaning against the wall, staying silent as Flash was talking, probably to think his actions through and wonder why his life was so shit that he ended up in this web of lies. Not that Flash particularly cared about that.


“And you actually got Tony to talk to you? Man I wish I could get a plan so ridiculous to work out that well . I’ve got to applaud you for it, really, although I’d still like to know why the fuck you would still be lying about this whole internship thing.”


Flash looked at Peter, who was fiddling with the hem of his sweater and looking everywhere but at Flash. It was obvious that he was taken back and embarrassed, and Flash was surprised when Peter softly spoke up.


“Flash, I- I never lied about the internship. Why do you keep on thinking that I do?”


Before Flash had a chance to respond, Peter pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards their class again, leaving Flash behind. For some reason, however, Flash had the idea that there was still somebody standing next to him as he saw Peter walk away.


His suspicions were proven correct when he looked up to his left and stood eye-to-eye with The Steve Rogers looking back at him almost disappointed.


“Son, why are you harassing one of the employees of Stark Industries?”




“Hey Penis!”


Peter just sighed as he heard Flash’s voice behind him. As the trip had gotten to its end and Peter’s class would leave to go back to school again, Peter had thought that he could finally leave Flash’s constant whining behind him. The whole day had been filled with Flash attempting to bust Peter, as if any of the events that had happened should have still left him with some doubt that Peter didn’t have an internship at Stark Industries - which he had, for fucks sake - and that he cheated his way in - Peter being Spiderman was technically not the reason that Peter got his actual internship, even if the fake one at first was based on that small fact, so that technically speaking wasn’t a form of cheating - and was now just playing pretend with everybody somehow playing along. Peter knew Mr. Stark had gotten annoyed by this behaviour, but to even see that Mr. Captain Rogers Sir got ticked off and had called out Flash had to be his highlight of the day.


“What do you want Flash?” Peter knew he sounded annoyed, but he was just so done with Flash, could anyone even blame him from sounding like that? Probably not.


“I, uh, I came to apologise.” Flash had a hard time looking Peter in the face and if it wasn’t for the fact that Flash actually looked apologetic, Peter would have probably laughed and walked away, because of how unlikely the whole situation seemed to be. “After today it’s kind of hard to ignore that fact that your whole internship thingie is actually true, and I wanted to say sorry for my behaviour and for not believing it.”


“Apology accepted?” Peter said, nearly questioning as he couldn’t really see why exactly Flash would come and apologise to him. “Wait, does this mean that you’ll be nice to me from now on?”


Flash just scoffed at that, the annoyed look he seemed to always have around Peter immediately back on his face as he walked past Peter.


“Yeah, tough luck buddy.”


Ah yes, Peter thought to himself, there was the Flash he knew. Peter had nearly gotten afraid that Flash had somehow managed to ditch his Flash-ness and Peter would have to search for it around Stark Industries in an attempt to restore the universe to how it was and always should be.

Chapter Text

Normally, Mr. Stark would actually tell Peter if people were coming over. Regardless if it was Pepper with Morgan who just returned from school, or Other Peter back from a space mission, if someone would stay over, Mr. Stark would have told Peter so he could be prepared for whatever he was about to face.

This time, however, it must have slipped Mr. Stark that Thor was to return, who might or might not have been Peter’s gay awakening when he had been younger, and that he would actually move back in for the time being. That, or Mr. Stark just really liked to see Peter suffer.

Now, Peter had to give it to Mr. Stark, the man did warn him about some kid his age that was staying over, but Mr. Stark had wonderfully failed to mention to Peter that the kid was not only a guy, he was also a Very Hot Guy, and Peter tended to stop functioning whenever he was around hot guys.

And so Peter found himself walking into the kitchen one morning, wearing his avengers pajamas and still being half asleep, only to realise that both Thor and Hot Guy were in the kitchen, dressed properly, and Peter was making an absolute fool out of himself.


Chapter Text

Hello you lovely people! Yes, an update instead of an actual chapter, I'm super sorry for that, but I'm proud to announce that the sequel of this fic, Could Be Gayer, has finally been posted! If you liked the little snippet from the previous chapter, make sure to head over there to read the first official chapter!