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Loving The Stars

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Kyunghoon believes in one thing. When loving Kim Heechul, it’s like loving the stars themselves.

He doesn’t know what gotten into him. It’s not like he’s lacking, he’s beautiful himself. He’s talented and pretty, a lot people will be wishing to be with him, even if it’s a woman or a man. He can basically control the whole country with his powerful voice and his bright smile. Also, Kyunghoon admitted so many times that he’s a straightforward guy, if he likes someone, he’ll tell it to them straight away, without wasting any more time.

But as always, Heechul is an exception.

The younger thought the man was pretty when he entered the room, the room that they were supposed to have their first meeting for Knowing Bros. When the said man talked to him, he completely opened his heart to him despite the fact that he has trust issues. He sensed immediately that Heechul is a great man, and that he doesn’t need to worry.

Oh man he was so wrong.

It’s not that he’s a bad man or anything. He’s one of the kindest people he knew in this big and cruel industry. He took care of him like a little brother, guided him step by step, and he helped him to be comfortable in the variety show business. But the thing is- he doesn’t have to worry for Heechul. He has to worry about himself. Because every time he does something, Kyunghoon can’t help himself but to feel something special for the older.

He kept falling and falling, and he doesn’t know how to get up.

It’s even more miserable because he’s the Universe Big Star, he’s surrounded by a lot of people constantly, and Kyunghoon feels like he’s just a small part of this big world of his. And sadly, Kyunghoon considers Heechul as is his whole world.

A star is so far away for a child that is just looking outside his window at night. He wanted to be friends with him, be with him for the rest of his life. But that star can’t even hear him, feel him, the star doesn’t even understand what he feels.

Admiring the stars is so easy to do yet so hard to accept. That is because you can’t expect them to love you back.

Since it was whole four years for Kyunghoon, he learned how to accept. No one told Kyunghoon that it’s bad to love a star from afar, so that’s what he did.

It started with a simple “are you fine, hyung?” and “what did you do? Did you play games again last night?” He was rewarded with a nickname of ‘a hyung-like dongsaeng’ from him. And as desperate as he is, he was contented.

Then it became really silent, as if he can never hear him. He’s guessing that it became too normal for the older for him to notice.

“I will go easy on you hyung, don’t worry.”

“It's dangerous hyung, so I'll hold you from the back.”

Little gestures, thinking that he will never know, will never find out.

But then again, he’s just a child. A child looking at the window late at night. A child that is so oblivious he doesn’t even notice how the star shines so bright, looking after him and watching him from above.