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Personal Questions

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When you first met Connor at the police station, back while deviancy was still on the rise and androids weren’t granted any rights, you would have never guessed that you would ever actually have a conversation with him. At least not like this. He had always appeared so professional, so polite and kind, even when faced with an insult he appeared rather unfazed – at least most of the time. You only ever had very short interactions with him, and they were mostly all about cases or small questions, but you had always been kind and respectful towards him, and he seemed to appreciate that greatly.

Only after the revolution did you finally have time to get to know him, especially since Fowler started partnering you up with Lt. Hank and Connor for a few minor cases, about deviant androids and humans alike.

And now Connor, ex-deviant hunter and deviant himself, now officially part of the DPD as detective and a helping hand to Markus, leader of the androids, was sitting on your couch in your apartment. His hands were resting on both thighs, his posture stiff and upright like always, but at least his legs were a little wider apart than during his previous tries at sitting. He was slowly getting better at it, slowly but surely.

You sighed and emptied the glass of wine – this was your second one, and you could already feel the effects the alcohol brought with it. “Thanks for coming, you really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but you sounded a little distressed on the phone, so I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he replied easily, a warm smile on his beautiful pink lips, “Besides, I thought this might be a good opportunity to get to know each other better. I haven’t had the chance to form any close relationships with anyone besides Hank and Markus.”

You grinned while refilling your glass once again, “Well, guess what, I had a similar thought. The DPD is just not the best place to have private conversations.”

“Agreed.” He shifted a little to properly face you, while you had already pulled up your legs to comfortably sit on your couch. You wondered if Connor would ever achieve this level of casual sitting.

You had to admit that the android’s presence was already making you feel a lot better. You were having another slight low this week, and today had just kind of sucked. So, lonely and restless as you were, you had decided to give Connor a call – after maybe twenty minutes of contemplating and sipping wine. It was late, seven minutes past midnight, and most people you knew were already asleep since they would have to get up early the next day. But you knew that Connor basically didn’t need sleep. He could enter stasis, sure, but he rarely did so. Which finally made you call him, and about fifteen minutes later, he was already at your door.

While you were drinking your wine, his eyes kept scanning around your apartment, probably analyzing his surroundings to find out more about you. You supposed it was a habit of his; to be curious about people. You didn’t mind, though you were hoping he wouldn’t get a poor impression of you by anything he saw. But since he was good friends with Hank, he had probably already seen worse.

But now that Connor was here, in your home, at night, you had suddenly no idea anymore what the fuck you should talk about. You didn’t want to appear stupid, knowing how intelligent and advanced androids were, especially the RK800 model sitting right beside you, so the usual small talk about movies probably wouldn’t do the trick. Had Connor ever even watched a movie? Did he knew about memes?? Oh lord, if he didn’t you would have to show him. But… not right now. You would have to start a normal conversation first. Not about memes. He might think they’re stupid too if you fucked up the approach.

So what else was there left to talk about?

Your eyes wandered to his beautiful hands resting on his nice thighs, and in the tipsy haze you were in, your gaze landed on his crotch. You knew he was looking at you looking at him, and you knew he knew what you were looking at.

You took a long sip from your wine, before your eyes were finally satisfied and decided to go back up to his beautiful face. He didn’t look bothered at all, maybe a little amused or confused.

“Mind if I ask you something?” your words were already heavy on your tongue, not much longer and you would be a slurring mess.

“I don’t. Go ahead.” Such a precious bumble bee boy.

“I might say some really weird things or ask you extremely personal questions, so just as a warning. You can tell me to stop anytime, alright?”

Connor just smiled even wider, “That’s fine with me, I’m sure I’ll survive being on the receiving end of personal questions for once.”

You snorted, remembering all the times the android had asked either you or Hank one of his infamous personal questions. Hank’s answer was often just a loud sigh or groan, looking up at the sky or the ceiling as if the God’s had forsaken him. You on the other hand never minded them; they were often so innocently worded, Connor looking so completely clueless and curious, like a dog. You loved teaching Connor about things he wanted to know about, even if they were more intimate than some people were comfortable with.

“Alright,” you took another long sip of wine, letting it rest inside your mouth for a bit as you tried to formulate a coherent sentence in your head, before swallowing, “So, I’ve seen some android couples...”

Connor nodded slowly, silently urging you to continue.

“And, well, okay so androids are perfectly capable to feel romantic attraction and all. But, I was wondering...” your eyes traveled back down to his crotch shortly, “do you guys also feel sexual attraction? Like, especially since most of you aren’t equipped like the Traci models at the sex clubs.”

Your main question had been do androids have sex??? but voicing that out loud just had seemed a bit too straightforward, even to drunk-you.

Connor blinked, his blue LED buffering slightly, still just staring at you. Then his fingers curled inwards slightly, and he blinked again, as if his blinking-protocol had been shortly deactivated in favor of processing your question. “I- I might not be the ideal android to ask, since I have no personal experience with this topic. Yet,” he added after a short pause, as if remembering that he still had a lot of things to learn in his deviant life, “But from what I have observed, it seems that some androids do experience sexual attraction. Not a whole lot of them, it seems.”

You nodded, emptying your third wineglass and settling it down onto the table, “Well, makes sense. If you don’t have the genitalia and urges for it, I guess there’s hardly any reason to want to have sex as badly as a human. Unless you’re like, really in love and hella attracted to each other, I guess. I dunno. I mean, asexuality is a thing. Sex is often just very overrated. Also, I suppose androids that have had, like, the function to pleasure their owner in that way are probably pretty traumatized by it, so I’d understand if they don’t wanna do it ever again.”

“Indeed,” Connor nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards into a warm smile at your words, seemingly happy that you understood what it meant to be traumatized by past experiences and abuses. “Some androids are willing to give intimacy another try though, if they found the right person to put their trust in.”

“Just like some humans,” you concluded. After a moment of mutual silence, you decided to voice another question to your coworker, “Okay, so, androids have sex, even if they don’t have the required parts for it… How does that work exactly?”

Connor nodded in a way that indicated he was already expecting that question, and he shifted a little as he thought of a good answer, “There are several ways, and it seems there have been quite some interesting studies on that too. I haven’t experienced it personally, of course, but it seems that if two individuals feel very attracted to each other, casual touches and making out is often enough to achieve orgasm. There are a few sensitive parts on an android’s body that can send positive feedback to our central processing unit – you would call it brain – and will make us feel pleasure. If those spots are stimulated in the right way, it is possible to reach orgasm.

“Another way to make an android feel pleasure would be by accessing their internal wiring. Did you know there is actually a pornographic category made by humans called ‘wireplay’? Quite fascinating, but of course, consent on the android’s part was not exactly something the makers of the pornographic films thought necessary.”

You had barely time to process everything Connor was saying; once he was in the middle of an interesting topic, he would often become an unstoppable force. There had been one time where you had to actually clasp your hand over his mouth to get him to stop talking.

“Anyway,” Connor continued, “Wireplay includes an android opening up a part of their body, often it would be their stomach plate, other times their chest or neck, though the neck area is lot more sensitive and can be risky for both individuals if not handled with care. The person accessing the android’s wiring will tug, stroke or scratch over certain cables, and sometimes even send small waves of electricity through some of them. It requires a lot of concentration, knowledge and care to do this without possibly damaging the android and hurting yourself in the process.”

Huh,” you said, not knowing another way to respond. “So… to conclude for slow people like me; androids can feel pleasure in similar ways to humans when making out, and if done right, they can orgasm. Correct?”

Connor nodded, “Yes. Another way to really… feel each other, would be if both androids interfaced and shared their thoughts and feelings – basically, if they become one with each other. One android will feel a pleasurable sensation, which will be sent to the other android through the connection so they will feel it too, then their pleasure feedback will be sent back again to their partner, and they’ll get back twice or thrice the pleasure, and so on and so forth. It can get extremely overwhelming and is a very, very intimate way of sexual intercourse, but I think it to be one of the most effective and beautiful ones.”

“I can imagine,” you smiled. Of course you had no idea how interfacing like that felt like, but you thought you had a good idea, and the way Connor had described it made it easier to put yourself into that situation.

“Okay, and, wireplay is directly accessing the android’s wiring to send positive feedback to their brain, but it’s difficult and risky to do because it could mess up the android’s internal… stuff. Makes a lot of sense, of course. I mean, I wouldn’t really want anyone playing around with my nervous system or organs,” you huffed out a laugh, refilling your glass of wine for the last time, seeing as the bottle was now empty, and you didn’t exactly want to open another one.

“Correct.” Connor watched you closely for a moment as you brought the glass to your lips, probably analyzing how much alcohol you had already coursing through your body and how much more you could take until you would pass out. What a sweetheart.

“I hope you don’t mind me askin’,” you slurred, starting to feel a bit giggly, “how ecshactly do you know all this shtuff?”

Connor’s smile widened for a short moment, seemingly amused. “I have gained a lot of information about intimacy back from the Eden Club case, but I have only just now discovered the wireplay category. There are quite a few informative articles and books about that for people who are interested in trying it. But most of the information I just told you about have been picked up from several android cases that involved me interfacing with a deviant.”

“Mh-hm,” you hummed, nodding and holding your glass under your nose to inhale the wine’s aroma. You wondered if Connor was personally interested in trying out any of those intimate acts he had just listed, or if he was more fascinated by it than actually wanting to experience it himself.

“May I ask you something now?” he suddenly spoke up, brown eyes alight with curiosity he only showed when learning something new or when investigating a crime scene.

“Of course, ‘s only fair after you’ve answered my questions so thoroughly.” Connor rubbed his hands together almost excitedly after you gave him a golden ticket to get the answers he wanted, and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight. He might be the most advanced prototype, equipped with the latest technology and possessed a super-computer as a brain, but in many situations his programming hadn’t covered, he was still a child. He wasn’t even a year old, only a few months. It was so weird to think about his actual age, and that he didn’t have a childhood.

Goddammit, now was not the appropriate time to think about that.

“I’ve wondered what the appeal of oral sex is, since it seems quite selfish if only one person gets physical pleasure out of that act.” If you hadn’t been talking about sexual topics for several minutes now, and if you hadn’t been drinking three glasses of wine, you would have probably fallen off the couch out of surprise.

“Uh, well, I could try ‘nd explain, but why don’t you look up some articles on that as well?” You didn’t mind answering his question, but given that he had looked up articles on wireplay in order to give you more insight on sexual intercourse with an android, you thought that might be more informative than asking a drunken coworker, who had also been single for a long while now.

“I could,” Connor nodded slowly, “But I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Oh,” was all you could reply with, feeling the heat in your cheeks intensify slightly. Connor preferred your answer over an accurate and detailed explanation from an article. Ahh that felt nice.

“Alright, uhm…” you tried finding a good place to start in your drunken haze, waving your wineglass around and sloshing some of it, “Well, if you’re reeeaally attracted to someone, you wanna make them feel good, y’know? It’s great when your partner feels good because of you, and oral sex is most pleasurable for most people, especially men.”

“I see,” Connor hummed, his brows furrowed. You wondered what he was thinking about, what he was imagining. “So pleasuring the other person is rewarding to the one giving them pleasure.”

“Yea,” you nodded, leaning forward and closer towards him, “Y’know, like, when you do someone a favor and they’re happy about it. Or when you did a good job and someone gives you praise for it. It’s a good feeling, makes you feel useful and stuff.”

Connor’s eyes lit up with understanding at that. “I agree, it is very rewarding. I think I get it now.”

You grinned, leaning back again, feeling like you just accomplished something great and important.

“May I ask another question?”

You laughed at his eager expression, “Sure, go ahead.”

“How does penetrative sex feel like?”

“You mean on the receiving end?” At Connor’s confirmation, you let out a long, thoughtful sigh. How does one explain the feeling of being penetrated?

“Oof, I could probably explain it best while I’m currently experiencing it,” you chuckled, scratching your jaw.

“I could give you some privacy for a while, and you could come back and tell me about it if you want,” Connor offered helpfully, and you just wanted to hold him for being so incredibly sweet and innocent. You had never in a million years expected him to offer you enough privacy in order to masturbate and tell him about it. And you absolutely loved how casual this whole conversation was. Sex and masturbation shouldn’t be this super private, top secret taboo topic that people were embarrassed to talk about. It was normal, everyone on this freaking planet did it and knew about the urges and desires. It was completely natural, just like drinking, eating and going to the toilet.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll try my best to explain it from memory,” you grinned, knowing you would probably be unable to really get into the mood to masturbate with Connor waiting for you in another room, fully aware of what you were doing.

“It’s… well… if you don’t have, like, daily penetrative sex, it feels better of course. So let’s say I’m completely sexually frustrated, being penetrated feels kinda like scratching an intense itch that nothing else will satisfy. Just the feel of being filled up… sometimes it’s the only thing that can satisfy you, especially after having already experienced it. The stretch, the movement, and when it hits just the right spot… it’s just so mindblowingly good, if done right, of course.

“It can be painful if it’s the wrong angle, or let’s say the penis or object penetrating you is too big. It’s like your guts are being stabbed or poked, very uncomfortable. But if it’s too small, you barely really feel anything, which is unsatisfying. But I guess everyone’s different on that part, since everyone’s got different tastes and preferences.

“The amount of pleasure also depends on how turned on you are. Like, if you aren’t really into what you’re doing or if you’re not as attracted to the person you’re with, then you won’t get much out of it. And the more turned on you are, the better it feels and the less painful it will be – again, if the person penetrating you is doing it right. And of course it feels even more amazing if you’re actually making love with the other person, when you’re connected to one another and make each other feel good. Kinda like the interfacing thing you described.”

Connor hummed, eyes slightly glazed over but still looking at you. Again, you wondered what he was thinking about. Was he comparing the sensations you described to the ones he knew?

“I see… I don’t think I’ll truly know how it feels like for myself, at least not anytime soon, but your answer gave me enough insight to be able to imagine it. Thank you.” He smiled warmly, eyes now truly focusing on your face again.

“You’re welcome! I like talking about stuff like this.”

“I’m glad you do, as it seems everybody else is too uncomfortable and embarrassed to do so. Knowing I can come to you with intimate topics such as this is very comforting.” You patted his shoulder at that, before putting your empty wineglass down with a sense of finality and leaning back against the armrest of your couch.

“Alright, mind if I ask you something again too? It’s more personal than the one before.”

“I don’t mind.” Connor’s gaze scanned over your relaxed form for a moment, before he bent down to pull off both his shoes, pull his legs up onto the couch, and try to mimic your comfortable way of sitting as best as he could. You could tell he was still tense, but he was doing great anyway. You gave him a big smile to let him know how good of a job he was doing, and he actually beamed at your silent praise.

“So, you said you don’t have any personal experience with sex, and I suppose you haven’t… masturbated either?” He shook his head, so you went on, “But you seem fascinated by the topic. So I was wondering if you would actually want to experience some of it too? If you have the desire to have sex and masturbate?”

“Masturbation is… not really possible for me,” his eyes wandered down to his own crotch at that, “as I have not been equipped with the prerequisite parts for that. Engaging in any sort of intimate acts was not meant to be part of my mission, I should only obey and hunt down deviants. And performing wireplay on my own body is also impossible, since the pleasure will directly affect my body, which could make me accidentally rip out a cable.”

“Damn,” you frowned, “But do you want to?”

“I’d like to experience it at least once, to know how it feels.” He looked back up to meet your distraught gaze, smiling softly, “I could send a request to CyberLife if I really wanted to, but I don’t think it would be appropriate to do that so soon after the revolution.

“But to answer your original question; I don’t feel the need or desire to perform any sexual activities, but I’d like to give them a try anyway. Since androids don’t grow frustrated like humans do, it isn’t a problem for me to wait until the situation has calmed down enough for androids to send update and upgrade requests.”

You still felt a bit upset to think about wanting to try something but being unable to, especially something like masturbation, which was so normal to humans. But Connor seemed genuinely unconcerned about his situation, so you supposed being upset about it wouldn’t help him in the slightest.

“I’ve just been wondering,” Connor spoke up again, making you sit up a little, “what does an orgasm feel like?”

Of all the questions he could have asked you, he asked one of the hardest to answer. But it only made sense that he wanted to know, and seeing how no one had any idea how long it would take until the whole android situation had calmed down and Connor would get the parts he wanted, you thought it would only be fair to at least try and explain.

“Well, it’s… it’s just the feeling of building up a lot of tension, and then it’s suddenly released and all you feel is a wave of euphoria, bliss and deep relaxation. If I’m honest, I always enjoy the part before orgasm the most. Like, the foreplay and all. It’s fun to experiment with different fantasies and just make yourself feel as good as possible. Of course, an orgasm makes the whole thing complete and rewarding, but sometimes it just comes too soon, you know? Sometimes, you just want to keep going, but you’re too turned on and can’t stop and then it’s bliss and it’s over. But, I guess you can always just go for another round.”

Connor was listening so intently, you almost thought he was making mental notes. “That’s very intriguing… Thank you for explaining.”

You clicked your tongue while making fingerguns, before giggling to yourself. “You can always come to me for questions like this, Connor. And if you ever get those upgrades and you don’t know what to do or have more questions or need help, I’m here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Connor beamed, his smile as bright as the freaking sun, “That really means a lot to me.”

“Don’t sweat it, I just want to help you with the whole ‘being deviant’ thing, since I imagine it to be quite fucking overwhelming.” It was true; you had no ulterior motives, no hidden desires or selfish hopes on what to get out of this. Of course Connor was damn attractive, of course he was a sweetheart and anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend or more, but he still had a lot to learn and still had to get used to being truly free.

You knew he was perfectly capable of protecting himself, he wasn’t weak or naive – Connor was strong, brave and independent. But you still felt a sense of protectiveness ever since you got closer. You could see that he was hurting from past experiences, and he was keeping the pain to himself. Even now, after being rid of CyberLife’s shackles and knowing he was free to feel and make his own decisions, he still tried to cover up his worries.

“It is overwhelming,” Connor nodded, “but thanks to people like you and Hank, I feel like I can get through anything. I know I’m not alone in this.”

“Damn right!” You clapped his knee, feeling happy and proud for your friend. You smiled at each other for a moment, before your body informed the both of you about how late it actually was by making you yawn, long and loudly.

Connor snorted softly, before taking down his legs and sitting back upright like before. “You should head to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Already on it,” you sighed before getting up as well, stretching your arms above your head. “Are you gonna stay here?”

Connor frowned, thinking your question over, possibly listing all the pros and cons of staying and leaving. Finally, he looked up, “I think I will, if you don’t mind.”

“Why would I ever mind,” you yawned, and before you could stop yourself, you patted his head fondly. “Feel free to look around, watch a movie or read a book if you want. Mi casa es su casa and all that.”

Before you could disappear into your bedroom though, Connor’s voice stopped you; “If I may ask one more question...”

You turned your head to regard him with a sleepy gaze, “Go ahead.”

“Why do people like to kiss each other?”

You considered just showing it to him for a whole ten seconds, before discarding that idea with a shake of your head. “Ask me again tomorrow, alright? When I’m more awake.”

“Sure. Goodnight, officer.”

You were still shaking your head when you closed the door behind you, ignoring Connor’s half amused, half confused smile and tilt of his head.