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Pure morning

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He smiles when he can hear Dan’s footsteps on the stairs. It’s Sunday; it was lovely and warm outside when he went on the balcony a few minutes ago to check if there was any water left in the bird bath, and the sun is shining into their lounge in broad stripes of warmth, only interrupted by the window frames.

"Morning," he calls out without turning around, filling the kettle so he can prepare his coffee. "Are you having tea or hot chocolate?" He is still holding the kettle under the tap, ready to fill it with more water in case Dan wants tea, but when there's no answer coming he does turn around and realises this won't be the moment to make a decision on tea or cocoa. He places the kettle onto its base, not switching it on but instead making his way to where Dan is stood at the landing and just... looking. Not necessarily looking at Phil, but into a void which must be located between him and Dan, but as he comes closer, Dan's gaze focuses on him with some difficulty, and Phil smiles softly.

"Hug?" He asks, and opens his arms when Dan takes a step towards him, and he pulls Dan close and gently rubs his back.

"I woke up in a weird place today," Dan murmurs, his face hidden in the crook of Phil's neck and his arms draped around Phil loosely. He can feel Dan's breath against his skin, the warmth building up between them, and he runs his fingers through the other's hair while still holding him tight. He briefly thinks about mentioning that at least Dan made it out of bed, into his jumper and up the stairs, that that's a good thing, but he doesn't say anything about it. He used to, back when he didn't know what to do, when Dan getting out of bed seemed a huge progress compared to the days when he would simply stay hidden under his duvet, but he has learned by now that Dan hated that. He hated being praised for something that should be the normal thing to do, whatever normal was, though, so Phil stopped. He is secretly still proud of Dan though, proud for him getting up and talking and telling him he woke up in a weird place, instead of not even talking to him because he simply wasn't able to, because he didn't even realise Phil was stood at his bedside sick with worry.

"Let's try and make it less weird," he suggests, and Dan nods softly against his neck before straightening up and moving from Phil's embrace. "What do you need?" Phil asks, but Dan shrugs.

"I don't know yet," he says quietly. "I kinda just want to rest. Can we just... sit?" He asks, and Phil nods.

"I have an idea," he says, pulling the armchair aside and pushing and shoving their sofa into the sunlight. They won't be able to watch TV from that angle but it's fine, they can watch something on a laptop if they want to, he figures. The thing is that Dan loves warmth; he thrives in sunlight and usually feels most relaxed snuggled up to Phil under a pile of blankets, so that's what Phil tries to achieve.

He pats on the sofa and Dan walks over and sits, his eyes closed against the sunlight, his head leaned back on top of the backrest.

"That's nice," he murmurs, and Phil smiles.

"Fluffy blanket or weighted blanket?" He asks, and Dan looks up at him.

"Fluffy. The other's downstairs. Don't go," Dan says softly and Phil nods.

"Just to the cabinet," he promises, gently stroking over Dan's shoulder as he passes him on his way to one of their white cabinets where they store blankets and a stockpile of scented candles. He returns to the sofa with Dan's space blanket and one of Bryony's quilts, and Dan lies down on his side and lets himself be tucked in.

"Don't fall asleep, though," Phil says quietly. "Don't ruin your sleep schedule." There isn't really enough space for cuddling, anyway, so he wedges bits of blanket and quilt between Dan's back and the backrest, makes sure Dan's feet are wrapped nicely, and finally squeezes himself on the sofa next to Dan's head.

"No, Mum," Dan says, turning onto his back and looking up at Phil. "Hey," he smiles, and Phil smiles back, taking the hand Dan has freed from underneath the covers.

"Hey," he says. "Comfy?"

"Yeah," Dan replies, closing his eyes again. "We should rearrange the furniture, this is really good."

They are quiet for a moment, Dan with his face turned towards the sun and Phil with his gaze lingering on Dan, on the steady rise and fall of his chest under the covers as he breathes. He sometimes feels silly for it, but he really loves just watching Dan breathe, loves knowing that Dan is warm and alive next to him, and even if he might not be completely fine, at least that's something they can work on.

"I'm keeping you from making your coffee," Dan murmurs eventually and pulls Phil's thoughts back to the present.

"That's fine, I don't need coffee," Phil says, but Dan smiles.

"Of course you do. Could you just... could you talk while you're in the kitchen?" Dan asks. "Just tell me something random so I know you're there."

"Of course," Phil agrees, squeezing Dan's hand before letting go and getting up, looking down at Dan all snuggled up. Maybe now the moment had come, he thinks, and asks, "Are you having anything?" and he smiles fondly when Dan replies, "Hot chocolate please."