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he was beautiful

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The small boy continued to dance excitedly, grinding against Jaemin, as if his boyfriend wasn’t a few feet away, talking to some girl. This happened at every party, Jeno would either be too busy or too tired to dance at first, so Renjun would come to him. He’d push his body against Jaemin’s, knowing that the taller was weak to his charms. He felt the boy giggle, his laughter sending shivers down his spine. He knew this was bad for him, it wasn’t doing anyone any good, and yet he still stayed there, dancing with the boy he loved the most, dancing with his best friend’s boyfriend. The boy smiled, turning around to grab Jaemin’s hands, placing them on his hips as he continued to move sinfully to the beat.

Tonight was different, Jaemin could tell. Usually Jeno would step in by now, he’d take Renjun away from his grasp and dance to much slower song, a song only the two lovers could hear. Jaemin looks over to where Jeno had been for the past 30 minutes, he was laughing with Donghyuk, drinking from his red solo cup as he sent Jaemin a quick look. He didn’t know what the look meant, it happened too fast.

All he knew was that this time Jeno wasn’t taking him away. Renjun giggles as he takes another shot that was offered to him, it’s his sixth one of the night. The omega smiles brightly at Jaemin lacing their fingers together as he rests his forehead against the alpha’s. He freezes, not sure if he wants to pull Renjun closer, or push the omega away. He doesn’t know what to do, not when he feels Jeno’s heavy gaze on his back, not when he hears Minho whisper to Felix, asking if Renjun and Jeno were still dating.

Jaemin could still remember the day he fell in love with him.

Burnt rice was all you could smell as soon as you stepped into the kitchen. They were over the Nakamoto’s house, trying to make traditional Japanese bento boxes. It was their first year of high school and let’s just say the lunch wasn’t exactly good. Yuta overheard the whiny teens surrounding his kitchen and suggested they try to make bento boxes. Lucas, Jeno, and Jisung went to the grocery store, Jungwoo, Mark, and Chenle went to go find lunch bags at Mark’s house, and Haechan, well Haechan went to go find his Easy- Bake oven. That's why Renjun and Jaemin were in the kitchen, dancing to Ring Ding Dong, while they waited. The rest trusted them enough to at least start on the rice, while they went out for the ingredients. They said it with so much precaution, as if Jaemin and Renjun couldn’t cook some simple rice-

“Oh fuck the rice!”

Jaemin screeched when he realized that burning smell was the precious rice they were supposed to be watching. Renjun let go of the spatula he was using as a microphone, and turned the volume down.

The alpha felt the omega stand next to him as the rice continued to burn.

“Shit what do we do?”

“I don’t know genius, take it off the fire!?”

Renjun’s voice rang through his ears. Jaemin being the intelligent boy that he is, grabs the boiling pot of hot rice with his bare hands. He hisses in pain, then lets the pot drop to the floor. Renjun lets out a gross scream/screech (?), he grabs Jaemin’s hands and puts them under the faucet. Jaemin feels the water sooth the pain, but still tries to pull away, in hopes of saving at least some of the ruined rice.

“Renjun, the rice-“

“Shut up Jaemin!”

Renjun pulls Jaemin back towards the sink, leaving no room for Jaemin to escape his tight grip. The alpha watches the shorter inspect his hands closely before gently pulling his hands away from running water.

“But our bento boxes-“

“For the love of god Jaemin, can you shut the fuck up, you’re much more important than some stupid bento box!”

Renjun holds his hand closer to his face, before placing a soft kiss to the reddening skin. That, that right there, was when Jaemin realized he was in love. That was his holy shit, I love him moment. He remembers drowning out the omega’s nagging, cause all he could focus on was their hand size difference. He remembers eating greasy pizza the next day, but all he saw was Renjun’s beautiful smile. He also remembers two weeks after the incident, when Jeno finally gained the courage to ask Renjun out.

Jaemin tried pulling his hands away, because he’s Jeno’s best friend, because he’s in love with the stunning omega. He can’t though, he’s too weak, but he’s always been too weak for the boy dancing in front of him.

‘Take him away already!’

Jaemin thinks to himself, as if the omega’s boyfriend could read his thoughts.

‘Take him away like you always do! Take him away before I do something that’ll hurt you both!’

Jaemin prise his hands out of the omega’s forcefully, not paying attention to his cute pout.

‘Take him away please.’

Jaemin begged, not sure to who anymore. He feels his heart stop when Renjun locks his arms around his waist, burying his face in his neck. The alluring omega mumbled in broken mandarin against his skin, yeah, he was drunk.

“Renjun, come on, I’ll take you to Jeno.”

Jaemin whispers in his ear, trying to keep a safe distance between them.

“Noo, I don’t wanna see h-him!”

The boy pouts as he looks up at Jaemin, bringing their faces closer together. Jaemin lets himself enjoy it, he lets himself appreciate the warmth against him, lets himself admire the omega’s bewitching features, until the little voice in his head comes back to remind him of what he has always known.

‘He doesn’t want you.’

“I don’t care, I’m taking you to him.”

Jaemin feels his heart drop, as he rips himself away from the omega’s embrace. He grabs the boy’s wrist in a tight hold, and begins to walk in the alpha’s direction.

“N-no, J-Jaemin, stop, I don’t want to!”

The alpha ignores Renjun, and continues to move forward. He knows the boy too well, he knows him enough to know that Jung Jeno will always make him the happiest.

“N-no! Don’t wanna!”

‘He only ever hurts you, don’t listen.’

“Please Nana.”

Renjun whispers in wobbly voice, tears brimming his eyes. Jaemin sighs and stops, he doesn’t want to look at the boy, but he has to, he always has to.

“Wha-what do you want Renjun? Huh!”

Jaemin completely faces the crying teen, trying hard not to comfort the boy he spoils so much. Renjun takes his hand and holds it tight, looking down at his shoes.

“I don’t wanna see him right now.”

The boy says softly, tears rolling off his cheeks as he looks up at Jaemin once again.

‘He’s so fucking beautiful.’

“So what the fuck do you want me to do Renjun?!”

Jaemin could tell they both knew he wasn’t just talking about their current dilemma. Even when drunk, Renjun was still smarter than most of their friends combined. Jaemin always had a feeling that Renjun knew how he felt, he just never knew why he kept him around. The shorter boy’s lip begins to wobble, more tears running down his face as he brings Jaemin’s hand closer.

“I want you to take me away.”

The boy speaks softly enough for only the two of them to hear. Jaemin let’s out a frustrated laugh, he runs the hand that isn’t connected to Renjun’s down his face.

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

The alpha says quietly in a defeated tone. The omega bites his lips with a guilty look on his face.

“T-take me outside, I think, I think I n-need some fresh air.”

Renjun wipes his tears away in one motion, eyes impatiently begging for Jaemin to do something, what it was Jaemin wasn’t sure of. Jaemin gives in, he drags the boy who holds his hand so tightly, out the front door. He doesn’t miss the look Jeno sends their way, he always tries to act like Jaemin and Renjun’s friendship doesn’t bother him, but deep down Jaemin knows Jeno doesn’t really trust him as much as he says he does. He wants to apologize to Jeno, he knows the boy sees right through him, he wants to beg on his knees for forgiveness. It never happens though, because they both knew Jaemin didn’t stand a chance. They both knew that at the end of the day, Renjun’s heart will always belong to Jeno, no matter what.

The cool breeze is refreshing compared to the humid atmosphere of the dance floor. The moon shone brightly, the stars were almost as captivating as the omega besides him. They both take a seat on the steps of the porch, ignoring the drunk Daehyun that was vomiting near a bush. Jaemin leans back on his elbows, looking up at the stars in awe, trying to ignore the beautiful boy that sat beside him.

‘He’s bad for your heart.’

He knew that, yet he still looked up at the boy. He wasn’t crying anymore, he wore an empty look, his head resting on his knees, as he watched the stars. Jaemin sat up too, bumping his shoulder against his, in order to get his attention.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

The boy looked down at his knees. It was obvious something was wrong, Jaemin should stop himself there. If the boy didn’t want to say, then it wasn’t his business, but he couldn’t, not when he saw the way Renjun was drinking tonight, not when he saw the sad glances Jeno would throw at the boy.

He sighed, if he was honest, he wasn’t sure what he was doing there. Tonight was the night he was supposed to move on. He was supposed to be dancing with a different boy, he was supposed to be having fun, he was supposed to forget. He and Haechan came up with the idea together, ‘The Forget Renjun Plan’. He was supposed to be having the time of his life with the cute boy from his math class, but he ended up here, once again besides the omega he was so desperately trying to forget.

“There’s obviously something wrong if you were crying, Injunnie.”

“It’s nothing Jaemin.”

“Did he do something to you?”

Jaemin wasn’t sure what he’d do if he found out his best friend was hurting Renjun, it was something he always knew he wouldn’t have to worry about. The boy treated him like a prince, there was no way Jeno would ever hurt Renjun. Jeno babied the boy more than Renjun’s own father, Yuta, babied him.

“No. Of course not.”

“Then, what is it Renjun, what’s wrong?”

“I said it’s nothing!”

“Holy fuck, I swear to god-“

“He doesn’t want me anymore.”

Renjun says in a small voice, tears returning to his eyes once again. Jaemin wanted to agree, he wanted to tell Renjun that it was true, that Jeno didn’t want him anymore, that Jaemin wanted him. He felt the words locked in his throat, he knew he’d never been able to say it though, if there was anyone in the world that loved Renjun more than Jaemin did, it was Jung Jeno. He’s seen it in the way Jeno holds his hand, in the way he looks at the boy as if he’s the only thing that matters. He still remembers the day Jeno thought Renjun was gonna break up with him, he sobbed for hours.

“I don’t know, what to do Min, I don’t know what the fuck I’d do with out him.”

Jeno’s blubbering voice came from beside him. The older boy had come knocking at his window around 12 o’clock in the morning. Jaemin was ready to kick him out, but his puffy eyes and runny nose convinced him otherwise.

“Hey, calm dow-“

“I can’t!”

Jeno had just returned from the Nakamoto residence, Jaemin could tell the couple had a bad argument. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen his best friend cry like this.

“It can’t be that bad-“

“He’s pregnant, Min.”

“W-What?”

“He’s fucking pregnant!”

Jeno screeched as he ran a rough hand through his hair.

“O-oh.”

“Yeah, he’s fucking pregnant, and he tried to break up with me before I found out!”

Jaemin took deep breaths, trying to escape his own mind, trying to be there for his best friend. He felt his heart tremble in his chest.

“You wanna know how I found out, Haechan told me!”

Jaemin couldn’t breathe, he felt like his world was crashing down on him, he could only imagine how Jeno felt. God, he couldn’t even imagine what Renjun was feeling.

“I told him about it, and you wanna know what he told me, he said not to worry about it.”

Jeno whimpered, a fresh batch of tears running down his face as Jaemin looked up at him with a blank look.

“He said that it wasn’t my responsibility, that he could h-handle it.”

Jeno continued to cry, curling in on himself, trying to protect himself.

“He tried to apologize to me as if wasn’t my fault too. Like he r-ruined my life or something.”

Jaemin stays quite, not sure how to respond. He was never good with tears, especially coming from the strongest boy he knows.

“He was acting like I wouldn’t stay with him, like I was gonna l-leave him. I love him too much, god knows I’d never leave him.”

The rest of the night was spent in tears, Jaemin wasn’t sure if he was crying with him, or for him. Jaemin lets out a sigh of relief when Renjun and Jeno come out of the doctor's office with a negative test. He saw how tight his best friend hugged the omega. He saw the small kisses he gave him, when Renjun buried himself into the alpha, trusting him completely. The small apologies Renjun choked out as soon as they stepped out of the office.

“I’m s-sorry baby, I’m sorry I thought I was-“

“Hey, it’s fine babe, don’t cry, it’s okay, I'm not mad.”

The gentle tone the alpha used, was new to Jaemin, he’d never seen his best friend act like this. He watched, heart aching as Renjun melted, comforted by the words of his boyfriend said. The boy cried holding Jeno tighter, leaving no space between them, and Jeno just let him, and only held him closer.

Jaemin can never forget the look of desperation he saw in his best friend’s puffy eyes, he could never forget the love held in those eyes.

“Of course he wants you, are you fucking stupid?”

“No he really doesn’t, he was talking to her again.”

Jaemin was pretty sure he knew who this ‘her’ was, she was a cheerleader, a girl who was infatuated with Jeno. Even the beautiful Renjun could become self conscious when the gorgeous blond would smile at his boyfriend. Renjun had pointed her out one day, asking Jaemin what he thought of her. Jaemin saw the nervousness floating through Renjun, he saw the self conscious lip bite when Jeno greeted him with a soft kiss on the cheek.

The boy was oblivious, he never seemed to notice that Jeno would never even look twice at someone who wasn’t Renjun.

“Renjun we’ve been over this.”

“I know but I can’t help it. Why doesn’t he stop talking to her.”

“Renjun, she talks to him.”

It was true, Jeno never paid attention to the girl unless she directly went up to him and demanded for his attention. He was jealous of her bravery, wishing he had the guts to go up to Renjun and confess. He knew he really didn’t want to confess though, he’d never do that to Jeno.

“He still talks back.”

“Renjun, what is he supposed to do, he’s just being polite.”

“I kn- I know okay!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m just being self conscious okay? I blew up on him earlier about it, the poor idiot had no idea what I was talking about.”

Renjun sniffled slightly, with a fond look on his face as he recalls his boyfriend’s expression.

“Of course, that dumbass never pays attention to anything that doesn’t involve you.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that I love him so much you know, sometimes I feel like I love him more than he loves me.”

Renjun’s voice quivers as he says what he’s truly worried about. He closes the distance between them and lays his head on Jaemin’s shoulder, he grabs the taller boy’s hand and looks up at the stars as he continues to think fondly of his lover. Renjun has always been that way, touchy. The affectionate boy would always do this, to everyone, but everyone knew the only boy on his mind, was always Jeno.

“Impossible,”

Jaemin bumps the boy next to him again. He could feel his heart break a little. It always hurts when he has to defend his best friend, but it was worth it if he got to see the gorgeous smile on Renjun’s face whenever the boy thought of Jeno.

“That idiot never stops thinking about you,”

‘I never stop thinking about you.’

“You’re all he cares about,”

‘You’re all I care about.’

“He wants you so badly,”

‘I want you so badly.’

“He loves you, you’re the love of his life.”

‘I love you, you’re the love of my life.’

Renjun lets out a teary laugh, Jaemin knew he was more happy than sad at the moment. The smaller boy lets out a shaky sigh and snuggles closer to his side.

“I know, but thank you for reminding me, I forget every now and then.”

Jaemin feels a familiar lump growing in his throat, he feels the tears he so desperately wants to hold back threatening to spill.

“You’re welcome, and don’t forget, I’m always, always here for you.”

Jaemin could feel the words crawling up his throat.

‘I love you.’

The three words he desperately wants to scream out but he can’t.

‘I love you.’

He pushes the words back down and turns to look at the boy that was already staring at him.

“You’re amazing you know that, I’m so glad I have you around, it’s just sometimes I feel like I’m always waiting for him.”

‘Me too.’

Jaemin thinks to himself as he hears Renjun’s voice.

“Jeno’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have him.”

‘I love you.’

Renjun turns his attention back up to the sky, thoughts of his handsome boyfriend, running through his mind. Jaemin keeps staring at him, he feels like he’s lost him in a way.

‘You can’t lose what was never yours.’

He reminds himself as he looks up at the stars again. He knows that after this Renjun’s probably going to apologize to Jeno. His going to kiss the boy, and Jeno’s going to forget what the argument was even about. He’s going to kiss the boy and Jeno will instantly forgive him, he’d be too busy embracing the omega, to stay hung up on his past mistakes.

Jaemin knows he could never hate Jeno though, not when he makes the small boy besides him so happy, not when he makes him smile so brightly, not when loves Renjun so much more than Jaemin ever could.

———————

Jeno watched as his best friend and boyfriend continued to dance closely together to the beat of the song. He saw the way Jaemin stared down at him.

“You know he’s in love with him right?”

Haechan says from besides him, they were both drinking against the wall, staring at the two dancing in the crowd.

“I know,”

Jeno watches the adoring look the alpha sends his boyfriend’s way.

“But I love him more.”