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Spider are totally adorable

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"Spidey!" the guy Peter just saved from a mugging called. "Thanks!"

 

"No prob, man." He patted the guy's shoulder, preparing to leave.

 

"Hey, wait!" The guy grabbed Spidey's wrist, stopping him from jumping onto the wall and crawling around like a creepy horror movie special effect. "Have you heard of Lucas?"

 

"Lucas?" Crimelord? New supervillain? Abusive ex? Bad cop? Drug dealer? Hot-dog seller?

 

"Yeah, Lucas the Spider," he added, digging his phone out from his pocket.

 

"No. Who is he?" Had Doc made another clone? But Lucas didn’t sound like a name he would’ve chosen, it wasn’t very intimidating.

 

"You've got to check this out!" he exclaimed excitedly, turning his phone screen to face Peter. A Youtube-video was loading.

 

"What is-" Peter was cut off by the video starting and a fuzzy spider crawling into focus.

 

"Hi! M-my name's Lucas," the spider said in a high voice. "I have too many eyeballs."

 

Peter visually and audibly cooed. The guy seemed amused.

 

"I look around with all of the eyeballs," the spider said while demonstrating said statement. "Wait, wait, wait! Where's my - spiderweb? Oh, there it is. Okay, bye!

 

Lucas crawled out of the frame and the video ended.

 

“That is the cutest spider I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Same, man,” the guy nodded.

 

“I need more.”

 

“Same, man,”

 

“Does that mean that’s it?” Peter hung his head in disappointment.

 

“No, there’s more!” The guy seemed slightly panicked at the thought of disappointing his hero. “I think there’s, like, fifteen videos now. They’re just all so short, y’know?”

 

Peter brightened up.

 

“There’s even a plush being sold,”

 

Peter beamed, bouncing slightly in excitement. “I’ve got to get that, bye!”

 

He swung off, leaving the would-be-muggee smiling smugly on the sidewalk.

 

 

 

 

 

Wade was minding his own business, making some pancakes at 3 AM because that’s always a good idea when Spidey came in through the window. He was home early.

 

“You’re home early,” Wade said. “Missed me?”

 

“Always.” He took off his mask and winked.

 

Wade dramatically supported his wobbly legs by clinging to the counter and fanned himself with the frying pan. Half-cooked pancake batter fell on the floor. “Oops,”

 

“We can get to that later,” Peter snorted. “I want to show you something.”

 

“But what about my poor pancakes?” Wade exclaimed.

 

“We don’t have to leave the kitchen. And some pancakes wouldn’t hurt.”

 

Wade blinked, probably imagining something naughty. “Kinky,” he commented, confirming Peter’s suspicions.

 

“It’s not like that. Look at this!”

 

While Wade was busy visualizing as many used for pancakes and pancake batter in sex as he could think of, Peter had gotten his laptop and, to his glee, found a YouTube playlist with every single video. He pressed play.

 

Wade immediately cooed at the sight of the furry little spider. When Lucas started talking, Wade struggled to keep a squeal inside.

 

Wade, like most people, had a slight fear of the tiny, eight-legged creatures he often found all over his apartment. It was only natural. But Peter was his cute boyfriend, he was half spider or something, so he couldn’t really kill them anymore. Also, he’d researched spiders (which had led to many fun and some not-that-fun experiments) and found out that the spiders you usually find in your house, had likely lived there all their life and would not survive long outdoors. So now he couldn’t throw them out either.

 

Peter was oblivious to Wade’s little dilemma because Wade often forgot it even was a dilemma. He had a lot of more important things to worry about.

 

Spiders looked really cool, too, when they didn’t move at all in any way.

 

But this spider, Lucas he thinks his name was, is totally adorable. That was new to Wade. Sure, Peter was totally adorable, but he didn’t think he counted as an actual spider.

 

“They have plushies,” Peter informed him.

 

“What are we waiting for?” Wade asked, grabbing the laptop, googled it, and ordered five.

 

“What do we need five plushies for?” Peter asked, fondly but slightly exasperated.

 

“One for every year this totally adorable spider has been in my life,” Wade answered, kissing Peter’s nose.

 

“Oh,” Peter blushed, speechless. He leaned into Wade and hid his face in the crook of Wade’s neck. “You sap.”

 

“You still love me,” Wade said, smugly. He gently twirled some of Peter’s hair around his finger. It was getting long.

 

“Yes, I do.”