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Bruce normally didn’t make playdates with his friends and their kids. Mostly because he wanted to keep his friends and the second they met his… unique children they would probably never talk to him again because his kids (and he means this in the nicest way possible) would traumatize any other kid they came across.

Clark insisted though. Bruce had a good relationship with Clark though. They were both single fathers and they got along pretty well. Clark had joint custody of his two sons Conner and Jon but both kids were usually with their other parents most of the time. Conner was Lex Luthor’s son (some weird test tube baby or something) that Lex and Clark decided to have back when they were dating and Jon was Clark’s best friend and coworker Lois Lane’s son. Bruce didn’t know all the drama but for some reason both Lex and Lois were going out of town (for separate things) and Clark (who usually only got the kids for weekends) was now stuck with two small kids for a week during their winter break and Clark didn’t know what to do.

Clark’s parents were out of town for a few days so Clark only needed a playdate to last one day max. Clark was also hoping for a sleepover but Bruce thought Clark was overestimating how much their kids would get along with each other. Bruce would be very surprised if no one ended up in tears tonight. Dick and Jason had bets on who it will be. Jason thinks it’ll be one of the kids and Dick think’s it’ll be Clark.

“Kids! They’ll be here soon! Come here so we can go over what we discussed earlier.” Bruce called out. Dick and Jason were off to the side whispering to each other and giggling.

Four sets of feet pitter pattered and soon appeared.

Cass appeared first in a cute blouse with a flower on it and jeans. Next to her was Stephanie Brown dressed in a pink dress.

Steph was a kid that showed up sometimes to play. Bruce didn’t know where she came from or who her parents were but she was interesting. She got along alarmingly well with Tim, Cass and Damian.

No normal kid got along with them.

The trio decided they liked her though and would play with her whenever she came over.

Damian came next. He was dressed in all black and had his arms crossed like he was a bodyguard or something. Was that a tattoo on his arm? It looked like one of those removable ones. Hopefully it was one of those removable ones.

Lastly Tim came out.

In a dress. A baby blue dress with long sleeves and a black sash around the waist with a bow at the back. He had black tights and had blue ribbons on either side of his head.

He looked surprisingly cute.

Also, Bruce was pretty sure that dress wasn’t Cass’ and he had no idea where it came from.

“Tim, why are you dressed like that?” Bruce took a deep breath to avoid losing his mind.

“I lost a bet.” Tim said simply.

“And it’s not fair! Tim’s a prettier girl than I am!” Steph huffed.

Tim just shrugged. “Sorry.” he didn’t sound very sorry.

Bruce sighed, he’s been doing that a lot lately. There was really no point in telling Tim to change because the kid would just tell him that he wouldn’t because he lost fair and square and he had to face punishment because it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.

“Tim, Damian, let’s go over what we discussed.” Bruce said.

“No playing with knives.” Damian said with a scowl.

“No speaking Latin.” Tim said obediently.

“We aren’t allowed to make them cry.” Damian said.

“No calling them names.”

“No glaring at them.”

Before the kids could list off anymore (it was a rather long list) the doorbell rang. Bruce cleared his throat and dusted off his shoulders before answering the door with a smile.

“Clark! I’m so glad you could make it! I hope you didn’t have trouble finding the place.” Bruce greeted him.

“It’s kind of hard to miss.” Clark joked.

Bruce chuckled at that and looked down at the two kids by Clark’s side. Conner was seven, Tim’s age and Jon was five, Damian’s age which was why Tim and Damian were the two nominated to play with them. “You must be Conner and Jon.”

Jon gave him a bright smile, jeez he looked happy. Was this how normal five year olds were supposed to look? “You have a big house!” he said. “I mean a nice house.” he amended.

“It’s like a castle!” Conner gasped.

Bruce nodded. “Come in. Kids, introduce yourself.”

Damian gave Jon a look over before turning back to Bruce with an unimpressed look. Bruce glared at him back and Damian relented.

“Hello. My name is Damian.” the little boy to Jon. “What do you want to play?” he said play like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I brought my Power Ranger action figures! Do you like Power Rangers? We can play with them!” Jon chirped with a excited smile. His eyes were so wide and trusting. Bruce really hoped Damian didn’t crush the kids hopes and dreams.

Damian forced a smile. “Sure.”

Bruce turned to Conner next. The kid was staring at Tim with a starstruck look in his eyes.

“H-hi, I’m Conner. Kent. Conner Kent. You’re really pretty.” Conner stuttered out with a blush on his face.

Oh no. This was bad. Conner thought Tim was a girl.

Tim didn’t seemed to realize this because he just turned red and looked at his feet. “Thanks. I’m Tim.”

Conner frowned at the boyish sounding name but didn’t question it. Bruce curiously looked at Tim, curious to see what the kid would do.

“Do you like video games? I have tons of them.” Tim just said.

Conner’s eyes lit up. “Yeah. Sure.”

Tim nodded. “Great, let’s go.” he began walking off. Conner looked a little lost for a second but followed after him once he regained composure.

Damian and Jon had disappeared during Tim and Conner’s brief interaction which was slightly concerning but Bruce didn’t want to think too deeply on it. Dick and Jason had also disappeared, probably to see if Jon or Conner ended up crying. Steph and Cass had somehow materialised next to Clark and were asking him questions like if he would like to get his nails and hair done.

Clark was a sucker to those eyes and he gave in. Pitiful.

Bruce just sighed and went to do some work.

Clark would find him if he managed to escape.

Bruce shook his head. Yeah right, like Clark could escape from Cass and Steph.