Chapter 1: The Invitation
Sans gets invited to a party ^^
It was 4PM on a splendid Thursday afternoon. The radiant sun warmed Sans’s frigid bones as he sat in the corner of the parking lot anticipating his car’s arrival. To no surprise, his idiotic brother was late again. Probably making fucking spaghetti or something. Dammit, he pondered. If only he wasn’t a heroin addict, his car wouldn’t be seized by the state police. He can’t do this again; it was his fifth time being punished; one more and he would be bAnIsHeD to the underworld once more. His train of thought was broken as Papyrus rode up to his lesser brother in a gaudy G-Wagon. A loud honk from the car’s beastly internal system pulled him out of his own head.
“Come in fucker; you’re lucky I’m even here.”
“I’m too tired for your shit today. Stay quiet if you know what's good for you.”
“Damn, what a shame.”
This ticked Sans off even more. This asshole made fun of him every day for his car being impounded. He had no idea the freedom a car gave a person. With a fiery rage, Sans remained in his seat, as to not start a brawl. Honestly, he was exhausted and depressed to the point of no return. Too much had already happened, from the 12th detention this month for vaping to the head-ass teachers he was getting fed up with. Once again, he faded off into space in his own head. His brother rambled beside him all car ride, as always. A single phrase caught Sans’s attention, yanking his mind into consciousness once more.
“If only you weren’t so tired, I would invite you to the block hangout this weekend, but you never listen to me anyways, so what's the point in saying it aloud, eh?”
The pop of Canadian in his voice signaled to Sans that his brother was speaking in completely valid terms. This matter was very perplexing to Sans since Papyrus was a loner through and through. How was he invited to some sort of party? Who the hell would show up to something he was invited to? The real question to Sans though was, what drugs could he pick up there?
“What the hell you on about?”
“Ah, I finally got your attention, didn’t I?”
“Say that shit and you’ll lose it.”
“Well, you know Nag’ right?”
“What about him?”
“Well, he’s showing there, word from the host. Says he’s the life of the party.”
“You’re a dirty liar, Py! Now I thought I told you to shut yo ass up, now didn’t I?”
Nagito, or “Nag’,” was the life of every high school party you could think of. He was the one to spike the punch at homecoming. Getting him to come to a party was like cracking the Germans’ code in some world war. He, swear to god, was so elusive after high school. No one knew how to contact him. If you could dm him, forget even inviting him, you were a god. Whoever this host was must be a college kid or some shit, who else could talk to him?
Every guy Sans knew would try to go after Nag’ and get burned. He wouldn’t let them down slowly, but throw them to the ground in a tornado of insults. His street cred was over 9000, so everyone would go after him, regardless of the other guys’ past attempts. His thing was that his heart was saved for one person, yet he would never tell who it was. He was so hard to get, yet everyone tried. Since practically every girl, and guy, asked him out and no one was that ‘special someone,’ people spread the rumor that he was gay. It didn’t seem right to Sans though, his personality didn’t fit that of a faggot. Everyone for the last 7 weeks of senior year figured he was gay. He neither confirmed nor denied this rumor. He went with a group of friends to prom, so that didn’t give any clues.
Sans always had a secret infatuation with this sexy beast of a man. However, he never let this secret out of Pandora's box. From his platinum blonde locks to his personality straight from some sort of [anime romance visual novel][wet dream][huniepop??][Boys love manga revolving around stockholm syndrome], it was no wonder he was candy to the eyes and mind.
“I call bullshit,” Sans practically growled at his older brother. “No way your painful ass managed to get invited to any sort of party.”
Papyrus chuckled, “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me…” he trailed off, a faint blush (somehow) appearing on his skeletal face.
“Alphys invited me.”
“Alphys?” Sans quirked a non-existent eyebrow. “Ain’t that Undyne’s girlfriend?”
“Hey didn’t you used to have a crush on Und-”
“ANYWAYS,” Papyrus interjected, his blush now more prevalent. “She said Mettaton had gotten something so incredibly, ahem, ‘epic’”
Sans rolled his eyes; he hated that word.
“That simply everyone he knew had to know about it.” Papyrus glanced at Sans. “Even someone with my painful ass; and maybe even your emo ass.”
“It’s fukin’ Metta’s party?”
“Now I know you’re lying,” Sans growled, pointing an accusing finger at his brother and slouching in his seat. “How would Mettaton be able to get Nagito to show?”
“Why wouldn’t he? He’s pretty popular.”
“He’s a fucking queer!”
“So is Nagito.”
“You don’t know that…” Sans huffed, trailing off. A little part of him really hoped he was. He felt a pound in his heart as he remembered the days staring at such a man in history class. God, if only Sans was the one, that one special someone who stole Nag’s heart.
Papyrus was eyeing his younger brother, a slight smirk on his lips. “Well, I guess it’s a shame, you’ll never be able to confirm-”
Papyrus looked at him, slightly baffled with a look of ‘it was that easy?’ on his face. Sans pouted slightly as if he were a small child. Papyrus knew Nag would influence Sans’ decision so easily. Dammit, Sans pondered, if only Nagito wasn’t such a piece of work.
“Only to know if you’re lying or not, so I can bully you.”
Papyrus chuckled, “But of course.”
Ooga Booga... more chapters to come o.O... (We work on this pretty frequently so expect more soon)
Authors' notes!: We have lil convos in between chapters that I'll include, excluding things that contain massive spoilers or personal details.
G: jesus christ that took a lot of braincells to write
I also dont know the animoo character so that may not fit his personality whatsoever
K: I can’t read this right now but what the fuck
G: Dude I got super bored
K: Yo so I kinda know about Nagito, basically
J: (im monky)
K: in the beginning of the game he’s in (Danganronpa 2) he starts out all nice and shit and is like, the protags best friend, but he turns out to be crazy or some shit and everyone hates him. By “cray cray” like the type of cray cray where he pretends to be happy all the time or something??? EPIC! (Maybe not totally accurate cause i never finished the game but dont tell anyone)
J: bruh he’s so emo wtf
K: True but he’s like the fandom’s favorite character zzz
J: L (also i changed the text to comic sans you’re welcome lads) (also i feel like this line can fit into the story somehow??: "If there’s a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? even if 4 other guys eat the 4 other slices and are all thrusting their sweaty, naked bodies against the cake?")
K: What the fuck-- bruh I’ll try I guess o.O
A: I finally read this and what the ffuck guys i’m actually kindof mad that this is decently written- uhh are you guys writing sans as like pissy or not
K: Yah pissy emo prick basically
Chapter 2: Angst be Wildin'
Sans thinks about his past and remembers he's a loser that probably shouldn't be going to parties
Warning(s) for this chapter:
Lots of angst lmao
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The screeching of car tires abruptly took Sans out of his train of thought as they arrived at their mansion in the hills. Ever since they guided the hero out from the underworld to save them all, Papyrus and Sans were heroes and were rewarded for their previous actions. Sans was looked down upon though, for he fought the human first to mere dust before they were freed.
Sans stepped out of their luxury car onto the scorching cement. His tough bones took the heat from the pavement with stride as he walked out of the car. He slung his torn apart book bag over his shoulder. The army green sack he called a bookbag was as old as him, even though it looked as if it was from a museum. He kept it close to him, for it was the only item he kept from his past. Sans never liked the luxury he got as the “hero of the underworld.” He never took his fame for granted, and quite frankly he despised it. He was an outcast at heart, and his attire clearly showed it.
“When are you ever going to fix that busted ass bag of yours?” Papyrus asked in a snarky tone.
“Can you ever fucking stop for a second?” Sans replied in an irked tone.
“Calm the hell down dude, I'm only messing with you.”
“Whatever, I said to leave me alone.”
“Alright, fine. Be a moody little shit, I don’t care,” Papyrus muttered.
This was strange to Papyrus. Sans typically shrugged him off. Something must be up with Sans. There's no way he’s that upset over such a stupid bag. The truth was, something was up. Nagito was the light of Sans’s high school years before he was held back. In his first senior year, Sans would try to impress the grade, and make is reputation acceptable, likable, to everyone. It all fell out when he was introduced to Napstablook’s harmful habits. His horrid heroin was a good time. Six weeks after his first time “hanging out” with him, he was addicted. His grades fell, his reputation crumbled, and worst of all, he couldn’t stop himself. Now, he was held back, causing him immense pain of being pulled away from his dealer. The withdrawal symptoms were so bad that he couldn’t escape the drug circle all together. He did all of it to try to fix himself, from weed to LSD, but nothing worked. He was stuck with the parting gift Napstablook gave him before he left. One small togo box sized jar of the uncut mixture. Sans has almost stopped, but the one time he injected it into his slowly cracking bones, he was caught. A DUI charge on his account, the fifth one ever since 11th grade. His reputation hit rock bottom, but for some reason, Nagito continued to talk to him. He always wondered the reason.
Senior year, the second one, was less of a nightmare, other than his car being impounded. His grades were all B’s, so he could at least pass. He was always seen as super chill by the other inferior students since he was a celebrity and all. However, even with the other held back kids from his grade, he felt so alone. The filled halls after the bell rang its sound of relief still felt empty without his secret love. Nag had such an effect on Sans’ high school years, and he never realized it.
Sans was freaked out. How the hell was he supposed to go to that stupid fucking house party with all his old friends from the first senior year? He was supposed to make conversation with these people who now looked down upon him, but he had no clue what to bring up. The fact that he was an utter piece of shit failure would be a great topic. All he knew was, in order to talk to Nag, he had to go all out, bad and boujee style.
this chapter kinda short but the next one is super long so its fine
G: Alrighttt guys
So this is the next part
Its kinda weird tbh with the whole going on a tangent about his drug abuse, so feel free to change it.
I kinda forgot where I was going with this on friday so it kinda does a 180
This section is pretty trash
So just yeah, I warned you
K: YAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW also yeah it is pretty self indulgent but also really sets in how garbage this fic is and its blessed in its own way so dont worry bout it o.O
Chapter 3: Sans Gets Pimped Out
Sans goes to Su🅱️reme™ and meets a certain someone...
This chapter is longer aight
Warning(s) for this chapter:
Retard is said once (maybe a couple times lol) as a joke
Also minor racism as a joke but it's ok cause 3/4 of us are white
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Sans, unwilling to ask his older brother, as he was sure he would be ridiculed to no end, decided to walk to the nearest outlet to get some fReSh attire. While it wasn’t too far away, Sans was still a fat fuck who never exercised, so it put a strain on his aching bones. Upon finding said outlet, he discovered that there was a Su🅱️reme™ store there. He was truly lucky to find such a thing, as not many existed. However, his town of Fucking, Austria held many surprises.
Sans was surprised by the extensiveness and organization of the store. To be honest, based on what he had heard, he assumed it would be some shady ass hippie store, but admittevely it was actually quite nice.
There were a handful of both monsters and people alike, all sporting flashy clothes that shouted the most bold statements, ranging from, “I’M RICH AS FUCK!” to “I haven’t bathed in months but i’m hoping to cover it up with some trendy clothes.” Sans found that oddly specific, but it was accurate.
Sans looked around the store aimlessly, he had absolutely no idea where to start with the vastness of selection and Su🅱️reme™ brand items. They honestly had some of the most obscure shit he had ever seen. A Su🅱️reme undercover gilapple light, A su🅱️reme teddy bear, hell, they had a motherfucking Su🅱️reme™ brick. While a commoner to the world of style such as Sans might see said items as stupid, he was almost sure that there had to be some deep underlying meaning to it all. Perhaps it was a statement against common fashion brands, who simply didn’t have the lack of brain cells to create a name brand brick. Perhaps this lack of brain cells allowed them to gain them simultaneously.
But Sans accepted he would never know. He was white after all.
He decided however, he could at least pretend to know about style. Just like a true white person.
He’d start small. He certainly wasn’t cool enough to be able to handle the Su🅱️reme™ brick, even with his status as the one who helped the human to the surface. He wandered over to the less outrageous side of the store, but was still lost, even among more common articles of clothing.
“Need any help, sugar?” A voice inquired from behind him, causing the skeleton to jump slightly in surprise and turn around. He was greeted by Muffet from his school, who seemed to now recognize him and cringed slightly.
“Muffet? I didn’t know you worked here, what happened to your dream bakery, hm?”
Muffet stiffened, “That’s still a work in progress. For now I just need to get some cash to pay the bills. I live on my own y’know, not freeloading off of fame and my younger brother or anything…” She snickered. “Someone like you can only afford to shop in here because you got lucky ”
Now it was Sans’s turn to stiffen up defensively, before he relaxed. “Oh my, I’m not welcome here? What a shame… I guess i’ll just have to… go home and leave a bad review about the appalling customer service.
Muffet seemed to keep her composure, however her three other eyes glared at Sans. It was a bit unnerving, he wouldn’t lie, but nothing he wasn’t used to.
Muffet began to show him around, bluntly pointing out sections of clothing and how they were arranged. Despite her general dislike of Sans, it was useful and she gave him a couple genuine fashion tips. Of course they sounded so fancy Sans could barely understand any of them, but he appreciated the thought.
He ended up picking out a Su🅱️reme™ brand hoodie and some weird snow goggles. He felt like he should get a least one more thing, but wasn’t sure of what.
Said skeleton stiffened, dreading that Muffet was back, but then realized that this voice was much different, for one it was a male voice. Sans turned around to face an odd looking green haired boy with a soft expression. “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while!”
Sans furrowed his non-existent eyebrows. “Who are you?
The other person remained calm, however a hint of disappointment flashed in his eyes. “Rantaro? I was in your class for like… 4 years..?”
“Rantaro” sighed, putting his hands on his hips in an overdramatic aggravated expression. “So you don’t remember me, eh? Well, that’s nothing new, my friend’s say I’m kind of invisible.” He chuckled.
“Uhuh… so erm, what brings you to my neck of the woods?” Sans raised a skeletal brow questioningly.
“Your neck of th- you know I live like, five minutes away.”
Sans opened his mouth to respond, before Rantaro interrupted. “Okay, no ,” he sighed exasperatedly. “You wouldn’t know since you apparently don’t remember me, but my point is, you know you’re not the only one who lives around here, right?”
Sans blinked again, looking genuinely confused.
“Rich kids…” Rantaro muttered under his breath. “Well, doesn’t matter. Looks like you’re having some trouble shopping, hm?”
Sans frowned, he didn’t want this weird hippie looking kid thinking he was poor or uncool or something. He struck a pose he hoped looked really cool (but ended up just looking retarded), and said, “Me? Sans? The Sans? Having trouble?” he put a bony finger to his chin with a smirk. “Ridiculous.”
Rantaro chuckled, “I’m aware of your reputation, you know.”
“Look, you have a decent thing going on here,” Rantaro started. “Nice black theme, but I’m thinking you need another colour in there besides some jarring red.” Rantaro reached to grab Sans’s arm, but gave up after receiving a glare from the skeleton and simply gestured for him to follow.
“Get this hoodie instead.” Rantaro suggested, handing Sans a hoodie that was black with a white logo instead of the one with the red logo Sans had chosen. He took it from him wordlessly.
“Anndddd….” Rantaro said, quickly shuffling over to another section and handing sans something else. “This.”
“What’s this?” Sans asked.
“I’m not sick or anything,” Sans looked at him, unamused.
“And you’re not going skiing, yet you’re wearing those goggles,” Rantaro replied. “So is the art of fashion, practicality must be sacrificed for beauty. Plus it's not a medical mask-”
Sans simply snatched the face mask and stormed over to the dressing rooms. For some reason that damn hippie really bothered him. “Fuckin’ pretty boys…” He mumbled as he walked away.
Once Sans had switched hoodies and put on the facemask, which was an odd but pleasing mix of grey and green camouflage, he had to admit he looked pretty damn good. Well, about as good as you could get wearing a brand that was entirely made up of slapping some dumb logo on literally anything you could think of.
He was greeted by Rantaro once again upon exiting the dressing room. “Hey hey! Looking good!” He complimented, smiling softly.
Sans blushed slightly and looked away. “What’re you fukin’ gay or something…” He murmured shyly.
Rantaro simply stared at him with an unreadable expression after that comment, narrowing his eyes slightly at the skeleton before popping back to normal. “Well, let’s go check out!”
Sans quirked a brow, “Uh, you came here to get something yourself, no? You don’t have to check out with me. Weirdo.” Sans added under his breath.
Rantaro blinked twice, then slowly nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He struck the same cool pose Sans had attempted earlier, except actually pulling it off which infuriated Sans. “Hope to see you again, Skelly-boy!” He calmly walked around a corner to resume shopping.
What a weird kid.
Sans went to the checkout after taking off the Su🅱️reme™ brand clothes, which lucky him, currently had no line. His face paled when he saw that that the cashier was another snobby looking rich boy (although he wasn’t all that surprised). He seemed to be looking at his phone in irritation, muttering. “Damn it, how do fucking millenials do this…” Upon noticing Sans he quickly shoved it in his pocket and straightened his tie.
Sans placed his purchases on the counter and the cashier pulled his glasses down to look at Sans skeptically. “Are you positive that you are in the correct establishment?”
Sans groaned. “Please just let me buy my shit so I can leave…”
The cashier rested his head on his fists, squishing his face slightly, “I’m only asking for your best interest,” he straightened up again, crossing his arms and looking like some kind of business man. “Will you be able to afford this? You look like some plebeian who eats microwaved meals. ” at the last remark, he scrunched up his nose as if he had smelled something fowl.
Sans looked at him as if he had grown another head, “Damn right I enjoy microwaved meals, you know how much of a pain that’d be to cook something whenever you get the munchies?
The cashier openly cringed, “ Disgusting. ”
“Do you know who I-”
“I know very well who you are, Sans the Skeleton .” The cashier hissed his name as if he were some sort of cursed being.
“You may be looked up to by some, but the wealthy community sees you as a joke” he snarled. Sans stiffened.
The pretty boy continued, “You’re nothing but some downcast druggie who happened to be fortuitous, and is profiting off if his acclaim and younger brother. You didn’t work for your money, neither are you a progeny like me. At least your brother had been trying to help before the fame, and tries to do more every day afterwards. Sure he’s a buffoon, but he tries, dammit!” He leaned closer to Sans over the counter. “You’re nothing but an oversized, apathetic, ineffective drug practitioner of a monster who mooches off of others and makes them handle your melancholy bullshit.”
Sans practically deflated in his hoodie, now suddenly feeling incredibly insecure as eyes stared at him from around the store. Muffet giggled from somewhere, and the cashier shot a glare at someone behind Sans. “But sure, I know you have the funds.” He smirked at the cowering skeleton.
He rang up the three items, snatched the credit card Sans had been holding up from his shaking hand, swiped it, and practically threw the bags and card back at him.
“Have a nice day,” He said, sounding bittersweet.
Sans flipped up his hood and shuffled out of the store silently. He walked like that until he heard running from behind him. “Sans?” The familiar-ish voice of Rantaro inquieried behind him.
Sans made a muffled noise of acknowledgement from his hoodie. Rantaro sighed, “That really must have sucked, dude…”
“...Did you hear Byakuya?! Oh, th-the cashier- hah- he said that inheriting money was more respectable than what you did, can you believe him?” Rantaro chuckled nervously. Sans smirked from under his hoodie.
“Yeah… he can be a real ass… But y'know he only uses all those big fancy words to cover up his lack of critical thinking. Don’t let what he said get to you, buddy.”
Sans lifted his hood and looked at Rantaro, a frown still on his face but obvious gratitude showing in his eyes. Rantaro smiled back.
“They are sort of right though…”
“I didn’t really do much. I found the human that’s all, didn’t really help em’ or anything…”
“Isn’t finding them enough?” Rantaro smiled. “I’m sure the-”
“NO!” Sans shouted, startling his green-haired acquaintance slightly. “I… I tried to kill them, Rantaro…”
Rantaro furrowed his brows.
“I thought… I thought they had killed… Papyrus… I… I don’t know why or how... i-it’s been a while…” Sans’s frown deepened. “But I was just… so upset… I-I was dumb…” Sans sighed, feeling defeated.
“Hey, your job was the hardest of all,” Rantaro said.
“Well I mean,” Rantaro tilted his head slightly. “What use would finding a human be if they turned out to be a murderous freak, or someone who would simply leave without freeing you monsters… Someone had to test them!”
“B-but they had already been tested so many times before-”
“You think the others were a challenge?”
Sans snapped his head to turn to Rantaro, who put his hands up defensively. “Hey, hey! I’m not saying they were useless, certainly not! Just… from what I’ve heard, you’re the toughest out of all of ‘em!”
Sans starred, wide eyed, “People say that about me?”
“Yeah!” Rantaro beamed. “From what I’ve heard, it would’ve been easy for them to befriend the others, but you weren’t willing. It was a bit of a miracle that they were able to get through you without- y’know…”
“So, who would’ve known if they would’ve turned on you at the last second without you bea- I mean testing them! That’s how you knew they were worthy!”
Sans looked at his feet, “I’ve never thought about that…”
Rantaro put a hand on the skeleton’s shoulder. “So start thinking about it, hm? And stop thinking about what that pompous fuck said.”
Sans chuckled. “Jokes on him, I didn’t understand half of what he said.” Rantaro laughed. Sans joined in.
They continued to walk.
“Th-thanks…” Sans stuttered.
Rantaro beamed. “No problem!”
They walked a bit longer, making small talk before Rantaro said, “By the way, what were you doing in Su🅱️reme™ anyway? N-not to say you don’t belong there but… it just doesn’t seem like your thing.”
Sans rolled his eyes, “It’s not. I… I’m going to my first party tomorrow night…”
Rantaro raised his eyebrows, “Mettaton’s Party?”
“Oh!” Rantaro smiled, “I was invited, too!”
“Mhm.” Rantaro nodded. “Originally I wasn’t going to go…” when Sans looked curious, he said. “Some of my friends are going as well, they get drunk and do… really fucking stupid things… and I get worried… but I’ll go if you’re going!”
“ Worried? ” Sans echoed in disbelief.
Rantaro huffed, “They say I’m a “mom” sometimes.”
Sans snickered, then shuffled his feet, “Uhm… think I could ride with you?”
Rantaro tilted his head. “You want me to drive you?” Sans nodded sheepishly.
“You want a guy who you have just met today, who claims to have known you for four years despite you having no recollection of such, to drive you to a shady college party tomorrow at like, twelve am?”
“Alright, then! Here’s my number.” Rantaro rustled in his pockets for a second, before pulling out a slip of paper with his phone number on it, and accidentally giving Sans two. Did he really have his number pre-written? Fucking pretty boys.
“Call me,” Rantaro winked and started to walk away backwards, hitting a pole.
“Did you just do that for dramatic effect, dumbass?”
“Hey, I got lucky this time, this is actually my street.” Rantaro laughed. “Peace!” He said before running down the street. Following him with his eyes, Sans realized just how tall he was (at least in comparison to him).
He wasn’t so bad after all.
420_Amami: who this
Sans: who do you think retard its sans
420_Amami: ohhhhhhh ye
Sans: 420…. Amami?
420_Amami: Amami’s m last nam
Sans: … and 420?
420_Amami: lmao i jus like to smoke weed
Sans: oh is that why youre typing like a retard
420_Amami: BRO PHONE KEYBOARS ARE SO TINY LIKE HOW THE FU
420_Amami: how do you type you dont have skin
Sans: ok and
420_Amami: dont you like need that to use a phone lmao
Sans: dude idk some weird monster shit dont ask me
420_Amami: i see….
420_Amami: so btw, did you just go to Supreme to impress poeple at the parT or someone specific
420_Amami: a girl…….????????????
420_Amami: OOOOOOH ARE YOU GAY?????????????????
Sans: um im feeling very attacked right now
420_Amami: fine pussy i’ll just bother you again at the party tmrrr ;)
420_Amami: damn you really dids do me like dat 😔
this is where we run out of pre-written chapters so updates might be slower cause the other bitches dead smh
G: Jesus christ dude I highkey think thats the best “chapter” so far
Idk how the fuck to top that
Uh ill try later I guess
K: Woa dude ty :00000 it took up way too much of my time lmao
J: damn K this was the best chapter so far (phat L dont mean to offend dont get triggered) (I edited some grammar stuff btw)
K: Omg tyyyy also yaw thanks squadfam
J: papyrus has “guccie days” lmao (also np gamer)
J: When we paste this to ao3 we should keep the chats in between
K: Yah sure, imma probably post the first chap when i get home :0
J: Sounds epic
K: Guccie gang
J: Guccie gang
G: GUCCIE GAYNG
Chapter 4: Papyrus Gets (Less) Pimped Out
Papyrus is too cool guys....... But sometimes he has to be less cool so his bro has a chance
Warning(s) for this chapter
Rape is joked about once???????? but not really
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Papyrus stood in front of his mirror as he thought of the party ahead of him. His dazzling bones couldn’t wear plebeian clothes like his brother, so he picked up his outfit from Guccie™ days before. The outfit’s bedazzled coat blinded those around the wearer, perfect or Papyrus. Guccie™'s beautifully ornate looking logo was glued to every piece of apparel he wore, from his fedora down to his elfish looking shoes. His outfit stared at him as he was preparing for the night ahead. Py was never a man of much money down below, but with his newfound fame he started to wear fancier clothes.
He realized he was still going to have to drive his brother to the party and huffed angrily, cursing Sans for getting his car impounded.
“Dumbass fucking druggie.” He swore, turning away from his gorgeous reflection. He knew very well his brother was at fault for this— he was present at the court case, after all— but some part of him kept shouting, “fuck it,” over the few sane thoughts floating about his skull. Not knowing where Sans was, he thought that the least he could do was to not outshine his brother too much when they arrived at the party.
As much as he hated to admit it, perhaps the blinding coat was a bit too much for a party hosted by someone like Mettaton. Even if he did somehow get Nagito to attend, he didn’t want to seem like he was trying to impress the calculator-loving trap! He sighed and took off the Guccie™ jacket, mourning the loss as he looked at his less epic reflection.
He was almost done with his look, but as he was highlighting his collarbone he heard a strange crash from downstairs. Slightly alarmed, he poked his head out of his room and asked if his dumbass brother was alright.
“You good down there you elephant, or can you not fit through the door?”
“I’m fine, shocked you and your deaf self even heard me, asshole.”
Papyrus heard the distant insult and got back to work. He thought to himself how much he wished his brother would fix himself. Maybe this party will open his eyes.
Despite Sans’s rather aggressive front, he was actually just a socially awkward anxious loser who couldn’t make any friends. While the fact that Mettaton had in fact wanted Alphys to invite Papyrus to invite Sans was true, he also hoped that it would push Sans out of his comfort zone for him to make some friends. Granted, a highschool party full of booze and drugs may not be the best place to make genuine friends, but it’s a start.
Finishing his stunning outfit, adorned in only the finest Guccie™ wears- minus the coat adorned in sequins that would probably make a human go blind. He regretted the loss of one of his favorite possessions, not being able to wear it to possibly the biggest event of the year; but he reminded himself it was for safety purposes, and not to upstage his older brother. No, not because it was “tacky” as Sans calls it.
Papyrus looked at himself in the mirror, giving himself a thumbs up, before heading downstairs where Sans was lounging on the couch. “Sans, are you sure you don’t want to just come with me right now?”
“God no,” his irritated voice answered.
“You really want to walk there? Or take the bus? That’s just so unclassy, bro.” Papyrus stood beside him, closing his eyes pensively in pity for his brother.
“Huh? Walk? Fuck no. I’m carpooling.”
“Carpooling?” Papyrus repeated, frowning at his brother. “You really shouldn’t be carpooling with random hookers or something Sans, I don’t want you to g-”
“Not with a random hooker.” Sans said flatly. “Guy I met yesterday.”
Papyrus stared at him as if he had [said the word trap is transphobic][said that fairy tail is a good anime that should’ve continued][put in the milk before the cereal]. Sans returned it with an agitated stare of his own.
“You.” Papyrus said slowly, pointing at Sans.
“I made friend,” Sans agreed smugly. His smugness was short-lived however, as his younger brother began to bombard him with questions.
“What’s his driving record? Does he do hardcore drugs? Does he drink? Sexuality? Have a partner? Well off? Will he get you into any sort of trouble? What are his friends like? Is his car safe? Age? Occupation?”
“Woah woah woah, Paps-- uhm…” Sans furrowed his brows in thought. “Dunno, only weed I think, dunno, dunno, dunno, middle class i think, probably not, dunno, dunno, um??? Above 18 at least??? Claims to have gone to highschool with us— he doesn’t look old, aaaand I don’t know.
Papyrus crossed his arms, “I don’t trust him.”
Sans stiffened defensively. “How am I supposed to know that much about him!? We met yesterday!”
“Exactly why you shouldn’t be carpooling with him!”
Sans rolled his eyes, “Okay, mom.”
“Call it off.”
“Dude I have no ass to rape, okay? Jesus, I’ll be fine”
“...Can I at least have his number?”
“No way in hell.”
Papyrus frowned at his brother one last time before giving up with a sigh and opening the door. “Stay safe,” he murmured. “Try talking to people and make some friends.”
finally its almost time.......
J: papyrus is an incel
G: of course
Chapter 5: Ok R̶e̶t̶a̶r̶d̶ Rantaro
It's finally party time!
Warning(s) for this chapter:
Retard is said like once or twice counting the title. Idk If you've read this far it shouldn't be surprising
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Rantaro was late.
Sans acknowledged this as he stood just inside of the door, tapping his foot impatiently. His brother had left about thirty minutes earlier, spouting something about how Sans should try talking to new people and make friends. Like that was going to happen.
Sans was oddly excited to go to the party, despite the fact that there was about a ninety percent chance he’d just end up in the corner of the room doing drugs (not like he had much of a problem with that). He could do that any time at home though, so he figured he might as well party if he’s going to go to a party. But dear Asgore, was he nervous. Not only was this his first party ever , but it’ll be filled with mostly ex-classmates who got to graduate when he didn’t. If that’s not the definition of awkward, he didn’t know what was.
As anxieties began to rumor about Sans’ mind, there was a shaky knock at the door that took Sans about half a minute to even register.
Sans shuffled to the door, and his suspicions on who it was appeared to be correct as he was greeted by a disheveled Rantaro. No seriously, it looked like he had been run over by a bus. Twice.
“You look like shit,” Sans commented, eyeing Rantaro suspiciously.
“T-t-thanks I d-didn’t not-tice...” Rantaro replied. It was as if he intended to snap back at the skeleton, but it just ended up sounding pathetic as he shook like a leaf.
Rantaro’s frown seemed to deepen as he noticed a questioning look in Sans’s eyes. The green haired boy twiddled his fingers sheepishly.
“I-uh... did I e-ever tell you I’m sc-scared of cars?”
“I’M SERIOUS!” Rantaro practically whined, his voice raising about an octave.
Sans tilted his head. What he really wanted to say was, ‘that is the stupidest fucking thing i’ve heard in ages,’ but actually deciding to be thoughtful for once, he simply sighed and offered. “Do you want me to drive us?”
“GOD PLEASE YES.” Rantaro begged.
“Okay sheesh,” Sans raised an eyebrow at him and exited the house.
Rantaro seemed to calm down but upon reaching the car door, started to shake again. He shakily got into the passenger’s seat and Sans sat down beside him. It felt good to be behind the wheel again.
“Wait...” Rantaro frowned. “Isn’t your license suspended or something...?”
Sans stared straight ahead blankly. “Mhm.”
“I-isn’t that illegal?”
He started driving. Rantaro was now even more on edge as he looked wildly to and fro, probably for cops.
“Relax, they won’t ask me for it as long as I don’t drive suspiciously.” Sans reassured, running a red light.
“We’re going to jail.”
Sans snickered as he continued driving, and driving, and driving, and driving.
“...Are we lost?” Rantaro spoke up.
“Heh,” Sans smirked under his Su🅱️reme™ facemask. “Yeah.”
“Hey, I don’t see you driving,” Sans rolled his eyes.
“Don’t you think that would’ve been useful information when we arranged this?”
“What was I supposed to say? “Oh sorry, I’d love to drive you, but i’m deathly afraid of cars despite owning one myself!””
Rantaro kept complaining about being lost, yet also claimed to be too afraid to offer any help, so Sans had to find his way to Mettaton’s house by himself. It retrospect it wasn’t too hard, as most of his old classmates still lived in the same area, and there was a bigass sign pointing to Mettaton’s place about a block away. That pompous fuck.
Due to being lost, it took about forty five minutes to get there, so they were over an hour late in total. Whatever, from what he heard no one shows up to these things on time anyway.
Just as Rantaro looked like he was actually going to vomit, they arrived. Rantaro practically leaped out of the car and kissed the ground while Sans observed the place.
Mettaton proved to be quite famous— even on the surface— and was also pretty well off. Mettaton’s place seemed a bit smaller than Sans’ own, but was significantly more modern and updated. Through the windows Sans could make out the moving shapes of people and monsters alike. There were blaring lights and the beat of techno pop music could be heard coming from inside. Sans could also make out what appeared to be the occasional couple on the second floor, probably fucking. Nice.
Sans regrouped with Rantaro, and as they approached the front door along the rather large driveway, they could make out what appeared to be a small little goat monster, almost resembling Asriel when he was younger. Only this guy was wearing a big green hat, cloak, and red scarf.
That was odd. While Sans barely knew any of the humans at his school, he was familiar with almost all of the monsters. How come he hasn’t seen this guy before?
As they got closer, he could make out that the little monster was breathing heavily, almost as if he was having a panic attack. Rantaro noticed too and asked, “Hey, are you ok dude?”
Sans raised an eyebrow at the guy who was on the verge of vomiting about three minutes ago, but said nothing.
The little creature jumped, and blinked at the pair, as if he had only just noticed them despite seemingly staring straight at them for quite a while. “H-hey, don’t sneak up on me like that..!”
Rantaro stared at him, puzzled, but decided to dismiss it. “Ahh... sorry... Hey, so...” Rantaro cleared his throat. “I’ve been to a few parties before, but being that Mettaton is kind of a big deal, are there any... precautions you have to take to ensure that we’re invited?”
The monster’s face went blank again, and Sans assumed he was thinking. He snapped back to attention with a look of remembrance in his eyes. “Ah, yes! P-please wait here!” the monster asked politely and slipped inside of the house.
With his absence, they could now clearly see a bag of cocaine that was left behind.
“Lovely,” Rantaro commented.
Small scuffling sounds at the door turned the pair’s attention back towards it, and a bored looking goat monster peered through it. This one, Sans could recognize as Asriel, with the scared looking, smaller one from before standing underneath him.
“Rantaro?” Asriel asked, squinting at him. “I thought you stopped coming to these.”
Rantaro chuckled nervously. “Aha well... It is Mettaton y’know...”
Asriel smiled slightly, still retaining his bored look, “True, come on in.” he creaked the door open just enough for Rantaro to get inside, and he closed it on Sans.
“Sans...” Asriel practically hissed, scowling at him.
“Asriel.” Sans growled back.
Sans and Asriel had a bit of a rivalry. Asriel used to be a good kid. Sans often bothered him, annoyed him with his puns (back before he was an angsty piece of shit), and, sans would admit, straight up use him sometimes; but he remained pure. Until the monsters were freed from the underground and he suddenly turned into a huge asshole. Asriel wouldn’t cut it anymore. Nooo, “we’re not on a first name basis.” Asriel would say. “Call me Dreemurr until we’re friends .” What is this? Japan? Hell no. A bunch of other petty shit was what led to their fights. At one point, Asriel just totally stopped going to school cause he was “too cool for it,” and they let him since his mom is a teacher! Now that Sans thought about it he also became an asshole around that time too, but thats not the point.
Sans and Asriel glared daggers at each other, both ready to fight. Right here, right now.
“Asriel,” the soft but stern voice of Rantaro could barely be heard from behind him. Asriel turned to look at Rantaro, and he seemed to stare for... too long... before he wordlessly opened the door for Sans.
Sans smirked as he was let in, but noticed the little monster scuffle past him to go back outside.
“HEY!!!” shouted a blue and white monster who had their tongue poking out of their mouth cutely (and admittedly looked kind of like Sans). They appeared to be playing a card game with some other monsters and humans. “WHY DON’T YOU COME JOIN US, RALSEI?!” they offered loudly, having to scream over the blaring music.
The little monster, “Ralsei,” shook his head frantically. “Goodness no..! Crowds like this give me anxiety...” Ralsei whined.
The other monster frowned, their tongue still poking out of their mouth, but they quickly recovered with a simple, “OK!” and carried on with their game.
As the door closed behind Sans with an irritated glance from Asriel, he became aware of how loud and annoying the music was. After he stood and processed it for a while however, it wasn’t as overwhelming, and he could make out voices more easily (though he still couldn't really understand them). He scanned the floor.
Mettaton’s house was pretty big, so it allowed for groups of monsters and humans alike to gather into cliques with enough space in between. The groups Sans could make out weren’t as weird as he had expected. There was the group of monsters and humans playing a card game. A group of druggie looking people, mostly sitting quietly and occasionally giggling at nothing. Some loud ass drunks, and a batch of quieter drunks who sat at a home bar, chatting or simply sitting there gazing into their cup of joy. There were a couple more groups and small, normal-looking cliques of people calmly talking that Sans could make out as well. Damn, this seems oddly civilized compared to his idea of parties. Somewhat he expected at least one group of shitfaced people by now dancing their asses off.
Rantaro, noticing the look of mild surprise on Sans’s face, leaned down and said. “It’s still kinda early,” he flashed a smile. “Wait until the real fun begins.”
ooga booga!! a bunch of new people will be introduced within the next few chapters! tags gonna go wild...
K: Yall!!! I gotta know if i dids ood so i can keep writing cuase im actually invested in this unlike you!!!! GRRR~!!!!!!!!!K!!:!>1IJUHEH!!! (Im tire)d
J: damm. triggered much? also this part was really good. i might write a bit during study hall but it’s not gonna be good lmao
K: Omg i was just making a HA HA!!!!! Lik i know not everyone wants to spent an ungodly amount of time writing a fanfic about an anime character and a fictional skeleton liek :’) also omg ty and omg thats epic so far!!!!!!!
Chapter 6: Friendly Card Game!
Sans plays some blackjack and meets a couple insane people
Warning(s) for this chapter:
Im not even sure this time but I say retard a lot so I wouldn't be surprised if its in here
I probably don't need to include this but joking homophobia
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
With that ominous line, Rantaro slinked away to get a drink, and Sans decided it would be better for him to sit with people he doesn’t know rather than explain why his heroin-addicted ass is at one of Mettaton’s parties. He scanned the room and decided to join whatever card game was taking place in the middle of the room. He had to push through a few people that were spectating with no real interest to join the game in order to get to the table, but they mostly just told him to “watch it!” with the occasional mention of his new attire.
‘Damn does Su🅱️reme™ get you noticed in a place like this.’ Sans thought absentmindedly, taking a seat next to the monster that bared an odd resemblance to him. He received a few odd looks from around the table, but when the next hand started, cards were slid over to him.
“HO HO HO! SO THE INFAMOUS SANS DECIDES TO SHOW HIS FACE?!” The spade-themed monster said. Sans was hoping to get away from any and all attention, but he sighed and accepted that he’s a magnet for ridiculous high school drama.
“Just hit me, dumbass.” Sans growled, noticing the pile of gold coins in the center of the table.
“NOT BEFORE YOU PAY UP, SMARTASS.” The monster chuckled, and Sans reluctantly fished a few coins out of his pocket and threw them into the pile, giving the unnamed asswipe a glare.
“Happy now?” He asked, rolling his eyes and resting his arm on the back of the chair— the epitome of a Buzzfeed feminists’ hatred for all men: the way they take up space. The blue-cloaked monster smiled and flipped a card up in front of Sans.
Ace of hearts.
Sans puts on his best poker face, which is easy because he’s always smiling despite being in constant pain. He looks at the nine of clubs in his hand and his smile grew wide from underneath his Su🅱️reme™ facemask.
“I’ll stand.” He said calmly, laying the nine face-down on the table as the next person was dealt to— human-looking enough but with blue skin rather than a natural human skin tone. Sans absentmindedly watched each person at the table hit, hit, then stand, half of them sinking into their seat as they went over twenty one. It was down to the end and he watched the smiling human across from him reveal an eighteen, and then the monster playing as the house smirk as they beat the human by one point. Sans looked at the cocky dealer and revealed his nine, relishing in the look of defeat on their face. The pile of coins was pushed his way by the people and monsters around the table and saw Asriel glaring at him from the bar. For someone who supposedly hated him, he sure spent a lot of time sending looks Sans’ way. He might as well take a picture, it would last longer.
He paid no mind to the goat and gazed at his winnings. Although the pile was meager, he felt a great deal of pride watching the other players sigh and sink into their chairs.
One of the humans, a small purple-haired boy who looked especially salty, glared around the table skeptically, before slamming his fists on the table and piping up angrily. “Okay, since no one else is gonna say it, I will!” he huffed indignantly. He then pointed an accusing finger at Sans, “BULLSHIT!”
The raven-haired boy sitting next to him gave him a tired look, as if this was a normal occurrence. “Kokichi-”
“I KNOW WHAT I SAW!” He insisted, glaring at the boy next to him. “HE CHEATED!”
A purple monster, sitting on the other side of the spade-themed monster Sans sat beside piped up, “Like you never cheat, midget!”
The monster beside Sans turned to her, “We cheat all the ti-”
“LANCER, HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!?” She roared, receiving only a stupid grin from “Lancer.”
“I’m like, the king of card games, no, like, the Ultimate Gambler!” “Kokichi” insisted. “You know this, c’mon Shu’!”
The one he had called “Shu,” rolled his eyes. “Just because you can beat me in Uno doesn’t make you the Ultimate Gambler, Kokichi.”
A quieter girl at the table commented, “Actually that title belongs to me-”
Her comment was silenced as Kokichi and the other boy broke out into a petty argument over the title. Sans stared somewhat wide-eyed at what was taking place, these were some weird ass people. Kokichi seemed like some annoying prick and Shu a closet emo, and they were bickering like an old married couple. Lancer and the other monster were also talking shit, while a couple other players were watching the outburst in confusion.
“How would one even cheat at blackjack?” The girl from before with swirly pigtails raised a brow at Kokichi. “It’s a rather straightforward game.”
“Uhhhh, of course you would say that, Miss “Ultimate Gambler!” You’re just covering your ass!” Kokichi retorted.
“Can we just fucking play?” Sans complained, meaning to only mutter, but ending up being heard by the purple-haired shota.
Said shota began to tear up, “You’re such a meanie…”
Heads turned when it looked like he was about to cry, but he quickly recovered with, “Kayy,” he put a finger to his lips. “But I’ll be keeping my eye on you~”
“That’s gay.” The purple monster commented, unnecessarily.
So they started another round…
Sans won again. He began to feel a bit uncomfortable as pointed stares glared into him. “Just luck…”
He won again…. He huffed, “Lucky again…”
Gradually a crowd of people was beginning to surround him, eyeing his winnings and muttering things about Sans’ poor reputation.
By the seventh time, Kokichi was done. “MOTHERFUCKER!”
The purple monster from before let out a terrifying screech, before flipping the table and storming away with Lancer following behind her cluelessly.
The remaining players just stared blankly, unsure of what to do, before they split into groups of people who either found something else to do or decided to turn the table back over.
Sans cringed, taking the side of people who walked away. Why had he always wanted to go to these so desperately? He left his earnings be out of being slightly mortified. These people are fucking insane.
“That went well.” A voice behind Sans murmured sarcastically. Sans turned toward them, breathing out a sigh of relief in hopes Rantaro had come to rescue him, but was appalled to see Asriel standing there instead. He instantly turned back around, and didn’t respond, hoping that the goat would assume he was ignoring him and walk away. Of course he had noticed.
“What’s wrong, Sans? Embarrassed?” Asriel purred.
Sans stiffened, before turning back around to face the fellow monster and striking his best confident-pose. “W-why would I be?” Instantly the stutter gave him away. “I just won a sh-shit ton! No reason to be embarrassed!”
Asriel cocked his head. “You’re just shyyyyy~” He teased in a sing-song voice. “Oh no! Wittle Sans is embawassed by aww the attention!”
Sans couldn’t help but blush. He hated being called out for actually just having crippling social anxiety, and not just being a really cool skeleton. He suddenly felt anger flare up inside him. He glared indignantly up at Asriel, who towered over the shakey skeleton.
“Oh yeah? Well you’re-”
“mean…” Sans squeaked out.
Asriel’s lips quirked up in amusement, he looked ready to straight up laugh in his face, before a loud squeal rang throughout the house. Almost everyone Sans could see turned a bewildered stare towards a part of the room where a girl was clinging onto a familiar looking guy’s leg. Shit, where was he from?
“...Byakuya?” Asriel muttered under his breath. Oh right. That asshole.
“MAAAAAAAAAAASTERRR” The girl squealed, almost like some deranged BTS fangirl, as she clung onto his bulging calf.
Byakuya was scowling at her, but he was obviously embarrassed as he was blushing slightly and eyes flitted between all the people that were staring at them. “Touko n-not here…”
The girl giggled creepily. She had long braids and looked similar to the rest of the humans here with weird hair, aside from… an inhumanly long tongue. Its not like Sans is a perv for noticing, just its super human in length. Byakuya tried to shake her off, to no avail, and just stood looking exasperated in defeat, letting her do her thing.
The last straw however, was when she shouted, “IMPREGNATE ME!”
Newfound power surged through Byakuya as he sent her sprawling across the floor with a surprised yelp. He then propped himself up against the wall like a token cool guy. “Nothing to see here people, move on…” he muttered. When everyone kept staring he shouted, “I SAID MOVE ON!”
Everyone nervously continued what they were doing previously, while Sans was struggling at not laughing at what had happened, he turned smugly to Asriel. “Everyone gets embarrassed from time to time, kid .” Asriel cringed at the shitty joke.
They glared at each other momentarily, before Asriel started chuckling, until eventually he just started full on laughing, Sans joined him.
Asriel breathed heavily out of his nose. “By the way…”
Sans immediately tensed up once again.
“I heard about what happened at Su🅱️reme™ the other day…”
Sans felt himself begin to sweat, Asriel was staring down at him intensely now.
“Quit your self-loathing, dude.”
Asriel furrowed his brows and turned away, huffing slightly. He looked as if it was paining him to say what he did. “Look, I still hate you, but… I really don’t have much of a reason to… It sort of just materialized over time..” he trailed off, he seemed unsure how to word what he wanted to say. “You know… all your angsty bullshit severely lowers your social status.”
Sans frowned, “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Ehh…” Asriel swayed as if indecisive. “Not necessarily. To be honest, I almost feel bad bullying you all the time.”
“Look, I’m an asshole, I know this.”
“But I’m an asshole with good intentions.” When Sans said nothing, Asriel continued. “I’m just here to keep everyone in their place, keep them from being too hopeful or full of themselves. But you… don’t really have anything I need to check you for.”
“Back in the underground, you were a chill guy, albeit still annoying, but in different ways then you are now. I always questioned some of your decisions, but then I was too weak to say anything. Once we got up here, I toughened up, I thought, finally I could properly keep my friends in check. I didn’t expect you to change up here too, for the worse.”
“So I bullied you.” Asriel scratched the back of his neck guiltily. “I’m not the most emotionally sound guy, I’ve been through some stuff myself.” He mumbled. Sans saw him briefly glance towards Chara— who, surprisingly enough, was in the group of loud drunks. “So, I didn’t know how to just ask you ‘what's going on?’ I don’t know why but I thought I’d be able to figure out what happened to you, and all I really learned what that you’re a self indulgent piece of shit.”
“Just… ugh,” Asriel was struggling for wards. “I don’t know how you can… but please try to… do better. Make some friends, there are plenty of people here. It’s not fair to me or you… That demeanor makes you a target for bullying, y'know... and... I’m sorry…”
“WOAH!!!” exclaimed a nasally familiar voice. The purple-haired gremlin from before popped up between the two. “ASRIEL’S GAY FOR SA-”
He was cut off as Rantaro came up behind him and slammed his head down. “Way to ruin the mood, dipshit.”
“HOW DARE YOU?” Kokichi accused overdramatically. “I- Oh! Amami~!” Kokichi realized who it was and hugged Rantaro, giggling.
Both Asriel and Sans cringed, “You’re friends with him?” the ladder asked, gazing at the two boys in mild disgust.
“Meanie!” Kokichi whined.
Rantaro rolled his eyes. “Shuichi come get your dog!” He shouted to the same Shu’ from the earlier card game. Said boy rushed over frantically, spewing apologies before he dragged Kokichi away to another group of people.
Sans turned to Asriel to make a snide comment, but the other monster was gone. He had a feeling what had happened was a one time thing.
YASSSSS MY CHILDREN!!! ARE ARRIVING!!!!
J: That was really good !! very sex ! asriel’s such a gay libtard lmao
G: I cannot get over how highkey good this is
K: Ahhhh ty also …………. After we have a bit more angst im thinking maybe kokichi or some other annoying party btiches get sans’s number and they make a disaster group chat to ease up on the angst :’)
J: Damn i love disaster gc fics they’re so cursed
Chapter 7: r/JustGoatTings
Asriel is angsty too? Damn
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Asriel immediately regretted saying anything to Sans. He slumped against the bar in a sorry attempt to avoid his pounding heart— which was admittedly Rantaro’s doing. He was never much for that whole ‘opening up’ kinda thing. He mostly stayed reserved and kept a grimace on his face no matter what. After being the smol soft boi™ of the underground, he realized it was time for a change when he got to the surface. He toughened up quickly, planning to keep all of his emotions stuffed down until the day he dies.
Then he met Rantaro.
The lovable son of a bitch popped into his life so quickly he doesn’t even remember how they met. He assumed it was at a party or something, the two getting so drunk they can’t remember their own names and falling into the arms of the nearest person. In Asriel’s case, the nearest person just so happened to be an avocado-haired hottie by the name of Rantaro.
He hadn’t thought much of it at the time. Sure he was kinda cute… but it was probably a one time thing, right? The next day though, he got a text from the very same guy. Apparently he had given him his number in his drunken stupor. They began to talk more and more. Rantaro learned about Asriel and why he was the way he was, and Asriel learned just how much of a cute dork Rantaro was. He dared to say… he was falling for him.
Rantaro eventually introduced Asriel to some of his friends and… that’s when things had gotten a little complicated. He simply couldn’t understand what he saw in a good few of them…
The biggest obstacle was that… Kokichi kid.
He didn’t know what his deal was. No one in their group really seemed to, but they laughed along with him anyway. He was dumb, but oh so cunning. He always seemed to have been targeting Asriel, but he didn’t know why. He had asked their close mutual friend, Shuichi, and he wasn’t sure either.
Rantaro and Kokichi were close, sure, but how close? Perhaps… he too had a crush on green-haired boy..? But that didn’t seem right. While he was ambiguous about his sexuality, he acted so weirdly towards him that it couldn't be true. He was often condescending, and acted almost as like a baby who needed to be taken care of at all times. Always asking for favors despite how much it might inconvenience the other party, stirring trouble whenever possible, it wasn’t right.
So he figured he was just fucking with him to fuck with him, and they ended up fighting…
Rantaro was not happy about that.
He had snapped at him, and Asriel had seen him get genuinely furious for the first time. To this day he doesn’t understand why, but he still accepted it with a solemn nod. One or two of his friends stayed as an acquaintance to Asriel, but the majority of them had left him in the dust, wondering what he had done.
Asriel was pretty sure he was the main reason Rantaro didn’t come to parties anymore.
J: do whatever you want with this it’s garbage but I wanted to go more into asriels backstory and justify him being an asshole a bit more lmao
J: L probably just gonna delete this it succs
K: Bro nahhhh is fine we need more povs sans’s angsty ass gets boring
Also lol I added some more tehe (casually writes like a whole page)
J: how are you good at writing teach me your secrets
K: I love this premise so much I just spew everything that comes to mind on this :”)
J: that’s very sex of you
Chapter 8: I ship it 😤
Sans meets some of Rantaro's gang members and Papy's feeling a certain kinda way.......
new!!!!!!!!! kiddos!!!!!!! (btw I focus on v3 kids the most since I'm the most well acquainted with v3 as its been awhile since the others but I'm trying to include lads from the other two games :"))
also sorry I was sposed to upload this yesterday but I'm putting this up like as soon as I woke up
Warning(s) for this chapter:
Sho is the fucking worst lmao
You know the drill the word retard is used
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Rantaro had returned looking exasperated. He briefly glanced behind Sans with an unreadable expression, before turning back to the skeleton. “Sorry about them…” Rantaro huffed, putting his hands on his hips indignantly, he then seemed to think for a moment. “I guess I could introduce you to some of my other friends,” Rantaro offered.
Sans quirked a brow, he was pretty skeptical of Rantaro’s friends after meeting Kokichi. The fact that this demon will just scream “IMPREGNATE ME” at a moment’s notice is somewhat off-putting.
“Ah… I promise they’re certainly not like… uhm” Rantaro glanced over to Kokichi, who was now crying profusely near the other side of the room, with Shuichi resting his head in his hands in exasperation; “like that.”
Sans remained skeptical, but his worry waned as Rantaro led him to the bar where the quieter people were sitting, but his suspicions arose again when he began to hear loud complaining coming from the area as well.
“HONESTLY, CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM!?”
Rantaro heard too, “shit.”
The girl from earlier… Touko was it? Was loudly complaining about what had happened earlier to a handful of people at the bar who looked like they were either half listening or literally asleep.
“I WAS JUST EXPRESSING MY LOVE FOR HIM!!!!! AND THEN HE JUST GAVE ME THE BOOT!” she shouted.
A monster who Sans could identify as Bratty, gasped overdramatically. “NO WAY GURL!!!! CURB STOMP HIS DICK!!!”
“No no no no…” Touko(?) insisted. “Master was just… nervous…”
“Bout’ what?” Bratty asked.
“Well, he’s just not used to parties, and didn’t know how to deal with my affection in public!”
“Um,” A short man in an odd hat spoke up. “He’s been to almost every highschool party ever, plus you do this in public pretty frequentl-”
“HE LOVES ME OKAY???? Trust me…”
“Why don’t you attempt to inflict pain on him?” Another guy(???) spoke up softly, barely audible in the loud room. “He’d surely get upset and perhaps attempt to inflict pain on you himself to compensate. You are into that, yes?”
Wow. Talk about too much information.
“OOOH!” Touko exclaimed in awe. “GREAT IDEA, CREEP! I’LL GO TRY NOW,” she announced, sauntering towards Byakuya once again who was visibly panicking.
“YASSS GURL!” Bratty shouted behind her.
“I fear for his life,” The short man said, sounding exasperated but not sympathetic.
“Tsk, you know you really shouldn’t be giving people ideas like that, Kiyo.” Rantaro interjected.
“I am far too intoxicated at the moment to care,” “Kiyo” practically purred, turning to look at Rantaro with half-lidded sleepy eyes, face resting against the table .
Bratty raised her eyebrows, “You sure don’t talk like you’re drunk!”
“Hey Rantaro,” the short man greeted.
“Hey,” Rantaro smiled softly. “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Sans.” he nodded to Sans, who smiled (more so than normal) sheepishly.
Bratty gasped, “Cutie!”
Sans cringed. Rantaro glanced at him, “looks like you already know Bratty. Sans this is Ryouma and Korekiyo.” he gestured to them as he spoke
“Hey,” Ryouma greeted.
Korekiyo was looking at his phone now. “Call me Kiyo.”
“Ah… sure…” Sans murmured, he was getting weird vibes from both of the humans. Ryouma was a short man. He’s heard midget as in insult to perhaps someone in his class who was five feet, but Ryouma quite literally looked like a midget. He had to at least be under four feet. He was wearing an odd hat that looked like it was farther back on his head than usual, as it revealed odd curly red helmet hair.
The guy next to him was on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, he was tall and almost lanky, at least six feet. Normally he would probably tower over Ryouma, but as he was hunched over the table at the moment, he only appeared slightly taller. It certainly wasn't hard to be confused about his gender, as he was wearing excessive eye shadow and had extremely long hair. Not to mention he was wearing a creepy face mask and otherwise was dressed like a Nazi.
“Hey, Ryouma!” Catty had now appeared, standing next to her best friend Bratty. “Isn’t Sans the guy you’re always compared to?”
“Oh my fucking god, not this again.”
Ryouma furrowed his brows as a small ding! played and he looked at his phone, before proceeding to wack Kiyo on his back (it was all he could reach, their height difference was no joke). “ASSHOLE!”
Catty and Bratty broke out into annoying laughter as they looked over at Ryouma’s phone. Sans and Rantaro looked over too.
My 3’5 Life: Eat my ass 😳😳😍😍😍😩😩💦💦💦💦💦💦💦👌👌❤️❤️❤️
Korey in the House: ...Pardon?
My 3’5 Life: KOKICHI STOLE MY PHONE FUCK IGNORE THADTUH
Korey in the House: …
Korey in the House: Hey.
My 3’5 Life: i’m literally right next to you the fuck
Korey in the House:
My 3’5 Life: FUCK YOU
Rantaro started chuckling too and they all proceeded to bully Ryouma. Sans had no idea about the extent of his reputation. Sure, most people hated him, but… what even… was this..?
Suddenly a loud shriek sounded, everyone turned to see what the noise came from and, surprise surprise, Byakuya was on the floor clutching his crotch while Touko danced around him as if expecting something. This only caused everyone to laugh harder.
Feeling somewhat uncomfortable, Sans could also hear a new voice laughing that sounded awfully familiar. He leaned to see who was behind Catty.
At the mention of his name, said skeleton jumped. Sans could see another drink on the complete opposite side of the bar that had barely been touched, which implied that Papyrus had been over there the whole time and had only inched closer to the group after hearing the commotion. Papyrus slid back down to the end, Sans sighed and sat down beside him.
“Who’s being socially awkward now?” Sans commented.
Sans frowned, actually showing emotion for once. “What’s up with you? You’re usually pretty alright in social situations… unlike me…” Sans added under his breath.
Papyrus tapped his fingers on the table nervously. “They just… seem so cool…”
Sans quirked an eyebrow. “Bratty? Cool? ”
Papyrus almost laughter at that, but frantically shook his head. “I mean…” he blushed slightly. “Ryouma…”
“Holy shit.” Sans said out loud.
Did Papyrus have the hots for Ryouma?
Sans couldn’t help but burst out in laughter.
“SANS! IT’S NOT FUNNY!”
“IT KINDA IS” Sans wheezed in between laughs.
The height difference between Papyrus and Ryouma was even more extreme than it was with Ryouma and Kiyo. How would that ever fucking work?
He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Ryouma seemed tough, not to mention he had probably the deepest voice he’s ever heard, he seems like a top. Pappy acted all loner-like these days, but he was still a weak retard, surely a bottom.
Oh my fucking god.
Sans actually started choking thinking about it. The others at the bar were now starting to gaze at Sans in confusion as he wheezed, slamming his fists on the table.
“S-Sans your making a scene…” Papyrus looked around frantically.
Sans roughly put his hand over Papyrus’s shoulder. “Okay okay okay…” Sans lowered his voice, “Look bro, you’re not gonna go anywhere with him sitting all the way over here. Go talk to him.”
“G-g-go anywhere???” Papyrus blushed profusely. “What are you implying???”
Sans rolled his eyes.
Papyrus practically squirmed in his seat, “PLUS!!! Just just… strolling up to him like that??? That feels so awkward I-”
“Why would it be awkward its a fucking party-”
“IT JUST IS OK I-”
“Dear Asgore, calm down,” Sans closed his eyes. To think he’d ever end up giving his “charming” younger brother relationship advice. “Go make friends with them then, they all seem…” Sans glanced behind to see them, they now appeared to be kink-shaming Touko who was responding with death threats while waving around rather sharp scissors. “Nice…”
Papyrus shook his head.
“C’mon Paps…” Sans sighed.
Papyrus shook his head more frantically.
“If I can do it, you can.”
“You haven't even said anything to them yourself.”
Oh shit, right.
“Doesn’t matter” Sans shrugged (Yeah it kinda does). “C’mon”
They slid closer so Sans was now sitting next to Catty, with Papyrus sitting next to his brother. Rantaro was still standing on the opposite side near Kiyo.
Papyrus kept his (metaphorical) lips sealed.
“Papyrus it’s Bratty and Catty, you know them,” Sans whispered aggressively.
No one heard him.
“SPEAK UP RETARD!” Sans shouted, the others ceased their bullying to turn to them.
“It’s not like you actually spoke yourself…” Kiyo muttered from the other side of the bar, only to be whacked once again by Ryouma.
“Hi…” Papyrus murmured, gaze flickering between the floor and Ryouma.
“OHMIGOSH PAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Exclaimed Bratty.
“Bratty, something wrong?” Catty asked.
“ME AND PAPYRUS USED TO BE SO CLOSE! RIGHT???” Bratty turned to Papyrus who stared at her in utter confusion.
“OHMIGOSH REALLY????” Catty yelled. “A FRIEND OF BRATTY IS A FRIEND OF MINE!!!” She insisted. Catty hugged Bratty and Papyrus.
Papyrus let out an impossibly high pitched shriek and froze in place.
“...Pappy?” Bratty asked.
“OH FUCK HE’S HARD NOW!!!” Touko exclaimed, laughing crudely.
“Would skeletons even have reproductive organs?” Kiyo asked, sounding genuine.
“I mean… They’re magic skeletons…” Rantaro inputted.
“RANTARO!” Sans shouted, now feeling embarrassed himself. The green-haired boy put up his hands in defense, chuckling nervously.
What a weird ass group.
<3333333 I love this group of v3 kids so much....
but bruh smh this looks alot more informal on ao3 since you can't indent n here without pressing space a couple of times in front of every paragraph and thats too much trouble >:(
J: damn that was epic very sex but how would papyrus’ dick fit in a midget ??
K: We dont have to worry about that rn and should never have to :)
Chapter 9: Thanks Kokichi
Snas hangs out with some of the lads and finds out about Nagito......
tfw we 9 chapters in and Nagito still isn't even here LMAO
its filler but its good filler okay.....
(Thanks for 100+ Hits!)
Warning(s) for this chapter:
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
That group of people had actually seemed okay. They had split up to hang out with some others, but promised to meet back and exchange numbers- and maybe discord tags- before the party was over. Now the only two left at the bar were Papyrus and Ryouma who were casually chatting about something. For the first time in a while, Sans felt like he had done the right thing.
And while on the topic of crushes… Sans was beginning to ponder about when Nagito would arrive.
Perhaps he was already here? He was pretty popular though, so if he were Sans assumed it would be pretty obvious. He considered asking someone about him. Mettaton perhaps? Though he was in a rather large group and Sans would feel awkward asking that.
Byakuya? No, he was still recovering from Touko (whom Sans had now learned had some sort of insane alter-ego named Sho. Seemed stupid, but stupider things have happened in the underground.)
He settled on asking Rantaro. He said he hadn’t been to any other parties recently, so it was unlikely he’d know anything, but he’d give it a shot. Sans got up from his seat and walked over to where Rantaro had disappeared to earlier to hang out with his other friends.
As he approached, to his disdain he didn’t see Rantaro, but was instead greeted by Kokichi, Shuichi, and a spaced-out looking lavender-haired girl.
Kokichi abruptly stopped his chattering to greet sans. “Heyyy, Sansy! What’s up?”
“Don’t call me Sansy.”
Kokichi stuck out his tongue. “Lame!” He immediately perked up again. “You looking for your boooyfriend?” Kokichi had a knowing shit-eating grin on his face as he said this , leaning towards Sans ever so slightly.
“Huh?” Shuichi spoke up. “Sans has a boyfriend?”
“NO!” Sans shouted, sounding louder than he had intended to and shuffling uncomfortably.
“I think he’s talking about Rantaro,” the girl commented.
“O-oh…” Shuichi mumbled, looking thoughtful.
“Rantaro went to the bathroom” the girl informed Sans.
Sans was about to walk away, perhaps he could bother Papyrus in the meantime, or go look for Nagito himself. He stopped as Kokichi questioned him. “Why you looking for him anyway?”
“Oh, I uh, just wanted to ask him something.”
Kokichi perked up. “Ooh! Ask me, ask me!” he insisted. “I know loooots of stuff!”
“What’s the optimal strategy to get the Dark Side Vanishing Road Rush moon?” Chiaki asked.
“What?” Shuichi responded.
“Umm, I know lots of stuff that aren’t just nerd facts!” Kokichi rolled his eyes. Chiaki grumbled. Being the Ultimate Gamer surrounded by a bunch of virgins was so troublesome…….
“Uh well, I mean I was just wondering when Nagito would get here…”
Kokichi gasped overdramatically, “KOMAEDA???”
Sans raised an eyebrow at him, recoiling slightly at the sudden outburst. “Uh y-yes?”
Kokichi grinned, and leaned back on Shuichi as if he were a wall with his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes blissfully, “Me and him go way back!”
Sans perked up, “So... do you know when he’s coming?”
Kokichi stroked his chin, “Yeah… ooh, once we did this great prank where we sent people their closet friend’s search history out of context!”
“That sounds terrible,” Shuichi frowned.
“Don’t worry, everyone stayed friends!!! In fact it probably made them closer knowing what kind of weird shit their friend was into… Nishishi~” Kokichi giggled oddly.
“But do you know when he’s coming-”
“Another time, we switched Kazuichi and Alphys’s science project that they actually put a lot of effort into, with Miu and Tem’s!” Kokichi giggled again. At first Sans was puzzled at this, but he paled in realisation. Miu was always that kid . He barely knew anyone’s names as he never talked to anyone, but Miu had possibly an even worse reputation that him. She’d constantly be called into the office for something super lewd, and there were countless rumors about her weird kinks, most of which she had confirmed herself.
Shuichi pitched in, looking somewhat frightened. “She had made some… robot jerk off machine…”
“I don’t know why though!” Kokichi chimed in. “We already have one, and his name is Kiibo~!”
Sans was confused, while Chiaki didn’t show any reaction and Shuichi rolled his eyes. “Plus Tem had messed it up of course, so it didn’t even work right…” the ladder continued.
“Preeeeetty sure Kazuichi got his dick ripped off or something,” Kokichi said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
“He used it?” Chiaki questioned.
Shuichi shuddered, while Kokichi shrugged. “I’m not surprised! He’s such a virgin!”
Sans was annoyed at first, but as Kokichi kept telling stories about the platinum haired man, he appreciated it. Kokichi wasn’t so bad, and the charming stories he told about Nagito revealed that even he appreciated him almost as must as Sans did.
Sans turned his head as Rantaro approached carrying something.
“You sure took your time,” Chiaki observed.
“I was just getting some weed, heh.” Rantaro admitted, revealing a blunt. “Monster Kid wouldn’t let me, claiming that I should stop calling him “Monster Kid.” Not my fault his parents named him that, and there's no way in hell I’ll ever say Monster Man ,” he huffed.
They all chuckled, and hung out for awhile, sharing school stories and such before Sans stood up. “Imma go see Mettaton.”
“Why?” Shuichi asked.
“I need to know just what was so ‘epic’ that even I deserved to come,” Sans grumbled, really he just wanted to ask about ‘Nag, though he was genuinely curious too.
“Ooh yeah,” Kokichi said.
“Come tell us later,” Chiaki nodded.
Sans padded over to Mettaton, who wasn't hard to find, as he was sitting on possibly the nicest couch that Sans had ever seen, with a fairly large group around him. As he approached, he could make out their conversation. “I was thinking that perhaps we should host an activity involving everyone..”
“LIKE AN ORGY!!!” Offered Catty. What was with her and things like that?
“Ah… no, darling.” Mettaton cocked his head, feigning interest. “At least not now anyway~” he added. Catty seemed to be satisfied with this response.
“What about karaoke!?” a girl with wildly coloured hair suggested, a couple others murmuring in agreement.
“Why, that sounds- oh! Sans!” Mettaton greeted. Numerous gazes turned to Sans after his announced arrival, making him slightly anxious.
“Er… hey-” he was cut off as Mettaton hugged him.
“Thank you so much for coming, darling!” the robot purred.
“Ah.. no problem.” Sans said just to be polite, patting his back awkwardly. He was not used to physical contact.
Mettaton released him from his embrace and asked, “Did you need something?”
“I was just wondering i-if you knew when Nag’ would get here?”
Mettaton stared at him blankly for a second, before he smirked, “Ah… I see~ but alas,” Mettaton huffed, making an overdramatic disappointed expression, shrugging in defeat. “Nagito is certainly a weird one, I have no idea…”
“He’s probably just trying to be fashionably late,” Bratty commented, nodding to herself.
Sans sighed, “Okay… thanks…” a few people had seemed confused by why he was so disappointed but no one said anything as he walked back to the bar, away from his brother and rested his head against the table in disappointment.
Sans took out his phone halfheartedly, but was soon confused as he read the name.
FNAF Jumpscare: Oi sansy!
Sans: who the fuck is this
FNAF Jumpscare: Kokichi 😜
Sans: how did you get my number
FNAF Jumpscare: I stole your phone duh
FNAF Jumpscare: No problem!
FNAF Jumpscare: I just wanted to tell you komaeda’s coming soon!
FNAF Jumpscare: yah
FNAF Jumpscare: Don’t count on it tho “soon” to him can be anywhere between 2 days and 2 seconds
Sans: mm well still thanks
Sans: and uh
FNAF Jumpscare: No you cant have his number
Sans: what whyy
Fnaf Jumpscare: Me giving you his number would be like a cheat code to a dating sim!!!
Fnaf Jumpscare: I aint your wingman get it yourself stinky
Sans rolled his eyes at his phone, but was still glad Kokichi had told him. Now he had something to look forward to.
Sorry this took so long to upload I just kinda forgot
In cause you're wondering about some kind of upload schedule, there really isn't one except you can usually expect at least two updates a week, though I just kind of upload whenever I feel like it once we finish enough chapters. We always wanna have at least two written chapters that aren't yet uploaded in cause we go on vacation and can't/dont feel like writing lol. Currently working on chap 11. it's pretty long lads-- also mostly filler but shhhh you didn't hear that from me....
Also yo the other day some random anon came and deleted our google doc which scared the pEE out of us but luckily I was able to get it back and make a new doc go hard but srsly boy I shit