Chapter 1: New Life
𝐴𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑙 13𝑡ℎ, 2010
𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. 𝑀𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑦𝑙𝑢𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠, 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔. 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝐼'𝑚 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒.
The car stopped and Deborah lifted her head up seeing a huge building in the distance. The building looked somewhat lovely and slightly creepy. "We're here." The driver said. The driver got out of the car and walked to the back of the car opening the car door open for Deborah. She grabbed her things and stepped foot out of the car. 'So this is the asylum?' Deborah thought. She was escorted to the main door and was greeted by a receptionist. The driver spoke the receptionist getting her put into the system. As they talked Deborah looked around seeing a patient being escorted by heavily armed men holding guns. It made her feel uneasy about the place, her new home.
"Mrs. Jackson?" A female voice called out. Deborah turned her head meeting with a woman who wore a light blue blouse with a lab coat and a knee high black skirt. Her hair color was a brunette brown in a bun slightly messy. "You can call me Deborah. I prefer that." Deborah said walking towards her. "Alright then, Deborah." She smiled. "Now if you'll come with me I will take you to your new room." Deborah followed her looking left and right observing her surroundings.
"My name is Jennifer and I'll be your psychiatrist." She finally broke the silence between them. Jennifer and Deborah walked to an elevator and waited as it took them somewhere else. "How long am I going to be here?" Deborah asked clutching her belongings. "Well that depends on how well you do. Normally a patients stay here would be about 3-5 months possibly longer." The elevator stopped and Jennifer was the first one to step out. Deborah followed behind Jennifer and seeing others around her, but they were women and some looked less hostile than others. "Well we're here." Jennifer stopped and opened the door that was Deborah's room. Her room didn't look too bad. Only a bed, a desk, and a closet, but some decorations would be a need for Deborah. Deborah stepped in laying her things on the bed and seeing a uniform. "That is what you'll be wearing. You won't be wearing it all the time. You can still wear whatever you want." Jennifer stepped inside the room. "If you have any string, necklaces, laces, a belt or anything that can be considered dangerous they will have to be given to me." Jennifer said walking towards Deborah. "I'm sorry, but its guidelines." Deborah rolled her eyes and gave Jennifer anything that was to be a weapon or would be harmful. "Don't worry I will keep these safe." Jennifer put the items in the pocket of her lab coat. "Make yourself comfortable. Bathrooms are just down the hall to your right and there is a outside garden so if you want to visit there anytime let me know." Jennifer smiled. "Oh and I almost forgot." Jennifer turned around before walking out. "We start our session tomorrow morning around 9:45 a.m. after that it'll be the same time every Thursday. Make sure to wear your uniform too. I'll see you then." Then she closed the door behind her.
Deborah watched Jennifer walking out and closing the door. She turned back to her things and began to organize. Once she finished she glanced at her uniform and picked them up. "049." She said to herself. That was her number. Her new name.
Chapter 2: Friends?
𝐴𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑙 14𝑡ℎ, 2010
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝. 𝐼 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑠𝑦𝑙𝑢𝑚 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑. 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐽𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑟. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛.
𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 3-5 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛. 𝑃𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒, 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑. 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡. 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 '𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒?' 𝑎𝑛𝑑 '𝐴𝑚 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ?'
Around 8 in the morning many patients were heading into the cafeteria to have breakfast. Deborah followed the group of female patients and stayed far away from them. Deborah felt anxious being in this new place filled with many people that she never knew of. Once she grabbed her breakfast she walked to a table that was empty and far away from the people she never knew. Deborah watched patients male and females sit together talking and laughing. She didn't ever know if she was ever going to make new friends or blend in. She felt isolated.She stared down at her food and was about to eat until she felt someone walk up to her.
"You seem lonely." Deborah heard a male voice. She looked up and saw a man staring down at her. "Uh...yeah. Kind of." She said nervously. She offered him to sit with her and he accepted. "I'm Deborah." She said to the man that sat across from her. "I'm Eddie." He replied. Eddie was taller than her. It looked like her head would reach his neck. Deborah kind of adored his features. He had a muscular build, his hair was slicked back and the color of his hair was black, his eyes were a perfect ocean blue, and his facial hair looked like it was growing in. She loved it. "So uh...how long have you been here?" Deborah snapped back into reality when Eddie had asked her a question. "I just arrived here yesterday. What about you?" Deborah began to eat her cereal that was now becoming soggy. "About a few months now. I've been doing a lot better since I've been getting the proper treatment." He gave her a small grin. "But I don't know how much longer I'll be here hopefully I can leave soon."
Both Deborah and Eddie spent the next hour and a half talking about their favorite hobbies, what music they listen to, favorite movie, and favorite foods. "I have a session I need to go to." Deborah stood up and walked towards Eddie. "I really appreciate your company." Eddie said. Deborah could feel her cheeks getting warm when he said that. "Same. Perhaps we should do it again." She smiled. "I'll see you again." She waved and left.
As she walked to her room she couldn't help but fall for him. 'He's such a sweet guy. His voice. It's so gentle and delicate.' She said to herself smiling. 'But would if he doesn't like me? Well at least I could still be friends with him and maybe he'll really like me overtime.' Deborah arrived to her room and put her uniform on. She didn't like how it looked, but it at least felt comfortable. Deborah heard a knock on her door. "Good morning Deborah. It's Jennifer." Deborah heard her voice. Deborah grabbed a hair tie and put her hair in a messy bun and opened the door. "Good morning." Deborah smiled. Jennifer escorted Deborah down the hall and into her office. "Have a seat." Jennifer opened the door for her and Deborah sat down in one of the chairs. Jennifer sat across from her and opened up a folder that laid on her desk.
MURKOFF PSYCHIATRIC SYSTEMS
Case Number: 049
Patient: Deborah C. Jackson
Date Admitted: 4/13/2010
Patient Age: 29
Observing Physician: Dr. Jennifer Lawrence
Background: Deborah was born on June 26th, 1981 in Wheat Ridge, Colorado. She grew up in a fairly stable household with both parents. Her mother worked as a CNA in a hospital not far from where they live and her father worked as a Construction Worker. In 1986 at the age of 5, Deborah's mother died when she was driving on her way home. The suspect was arrested and charged for driving while impaired along with being under the influence of alcohol and involuntary manslaughter. After the death of Deborah's mother, her life went downhill. Her father fell into depression and began to drink. She said that over the years of being with her father he violently abused and raped her.
At the age of 10 she fell into a deep depression. She was left with bruises and cuts on her body. She says the abuse was almost everyday. At the age of 14 she began to do heroin as a way to cope with her suicidal thoughts and depression. She dropped out of high school at the age of 17 and ran away from home. For about 7 months she was homeless. After months passed she ended up in a relationship with another man that was at the age of 24. She said that he would take care of her and love her. During her time with him she began to recover slowly from her addiction, but she received abuse from her lover, but she says that she deserved it. In 2005 she had gotten married. She was afraid to have intercourse because it would bring back terrible memories with her father, but she never told him because she was afraid of him instead she would come up with excuses. The abuse became more frequent and in 2008 Deborah managed to get pregnant, but during one of their fights she had a miscarriage.
On March 5th, 2010 while her husband was asleep she grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed him multiple times. When the police arrived she was found in her bathroom crying and laughing with blood covering parts of her body including her face.
DIAGNOSTICS: Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Anxiety
Jennifer finished examining her case file and laid the folder down and looked up at her. "Unfortunately our session is going to be shorter because I have a meeting at 10:15. But I promise we will have a lot more time to discuss about things in our next session." Jennifer gave her a small smile. "So have you met anyone new yet?" Jennifer brought out a pen and a clipboard with paper attached to it. "Yeah. I actually did." Deborah smiled. "His name is Eddie. He's a really nice person. We talked about our favorite things." Deborah could almost picture him right then. The appoint didn't last long and time seemed to fly fast. Deborah soon returned to her room and sat at her desk opening her journal to continue writing.
𝑆𝑜 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑. 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡. 𝐸𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑜 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡, 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠? 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑? 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡. 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑝𝑖𝑔𝑠...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒...ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑎𝑛. 𝐻𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑔𝑢𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒. 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛.
Chapter 3: Small Gift
𝑁𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 28𝑡ℎ, 2011
𝑀𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑠𝑜 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒. 𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑛. 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑠ℎ 𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑛 𝑔𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛. 𝐼𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑝 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑠𝑦𝑙𝑢𝑚.
𝐷𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙. 𝑊𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑈𝑛𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑡𝑠. 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡. 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑒𝑟. 𝑊𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝐻𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑜𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑤. 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒...𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝑃𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑓𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑒? 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑗𝑜𝑏 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑡.
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝐼'𝑚 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 (𝐼 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑡). 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒, 𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑤𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑐ℎ. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑚𝑒. 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒. 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒.
𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑒 26𝑡ℎ, 2012
𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦! 31 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑜𝑙𝑑. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡. 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡?
𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝. 𝑊𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑡. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝. 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑑 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑦𝑙𝑢𝑚.
Deborah sat outside on a bench in the garden watching a few other patients walk, talk, and play. As she watched she felt someones breath in her ear. "Happy birthday, darling." Eddie cooed sweetly. Deborah turned her head and smiled. "Thank you dear." She watched Eddie walk in front of her. "I have something for you." He reached his hand out for Deborah and she accepted. Deborah followed Eddie inside of the building and taking her to a storage room not far from his room. "We're here. Far away from the others." He said. 'Strange. I wonder why he would take me here?' Deborah had thought to herself. "Now close your eyes." Deborah did as she was told. He left for a few seconds and came back holding something in both of his hands. "Now open!" Deborah opened her eyes and she was amazed. It was a well drawn portrait of her. "This took me awhile to do, but it's done." He gave her the portrait. "Eddie. I love it!" She smiled. 'Now is your chance.' She said to herself.
"I'm glad you li-" Eddie was interrupted by Deborah placing her lips onto his. She quickly pulled away regretting what she did. "I-I'm sorry. I uh...I couldn't..." Deborah tried to come up with an excuse and Eddie hushed her. "It's alright. You don't need to be embarrassed or ashamed." He grinned and kissed her again only to deepen the kiss. Deborah closed her eyes and rested her hands on his chest as Eddie cupped her cheeks with both of his hands. 'This is actually happening.' She said to herself. As he picked her up Deborah wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her to a table. Eddie sat her down on the table and began to kiss her neck. Deborah moaned as he made his way from her lips to her neck. "I want you so bad." Eddie's voice was rough. As his lips met with Deborah's neck again he slid his hand up her shirt cupping one of her breast. Deborah wrapped her hand at the back of his neck and her arm on his back moaning for more. Then Eddie took her shirt off only to show her bra. Eddie rested his hands on her hips staring into her eyes. He wanted more. He then took off his shirt revealing how muscular he was. Deborah bit her lip as how well built he was. She wanted him to fill her up. She wanted to him to complete her. Deborah laid back onto the table as Eddie's lips met with hers once again wrapping her legs around him.
As Eddie was sliding his hand up her shorts something had struck Deborah. Memories of her abusive past swarmed her mind and panicked. Memories of her father abusing and raping her all came to her. "I-I'm sorry." Deborah got up from the table grabbing her shirt. "Was it something I did?" Eddie asked. Frantically, Deborah quickly put her shirt on and grabbed her gift from Eddie. "No, no. It's not you it's...I'll see you later. Thank you for the gift." She spoke quietly and quickly left. 'Oh god. Oh god. What did I do?! Why did it have to happen?' Her thoughts jumped all over the place. She soon went back to her room placing the gift Eddie had given to her on her desk and she sat on her bed slowly to calm down. "I bet he thinks it's his fault, but it's not. I'll probably tell him tomorrow. I hope he'll understand." Deborah laid on her bed and stayed until it was dinner.
Chapter 4: Forgiveness
The next day...
I couldn't find Eddie in the cafeteria this morning so after I ate I went to the courtyard to find him. He would spend most of his time out there watching patients play and walk around. As I entered the courtyard I saw him, but this time he was sitting far away from the others which was unusual. Was he thinking about what happened yesterday? I hope he understands.
"Hey." Deborah gave Eddie a small smile to him and sat down next to him on the bench. Eddie only glanced at her and stared back at the patients. There was a long silence between them until Deborah spoke up again. "I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. It was my fault." She apologized.
"No it's not. I shouldn't have carried it on. Whatever had set you off yesterday it was my fault. I should be the one to apologize not you." Eddie turned to her. "So I'm sorry." He said softly.
"It's fine." She looked up to him. "I really want to tell you what triggered me to leave, but I don't know."
"We're all in here for something. We shouldn't feel ashamed about the things we've done or the things happened to us before we ended up in here." Eddie places his hand on top of Deborah's. "You can tell me anything."
Deborah was nervous to tell him, but knowing that Eddie was one of the people in here cared about her and wouldn't judge her. She hesitated for a bit and then she opened up. "Eddie..." She stood up from the bench and looked at him with tears beginning to form in her eyes. "When you were getting rough, memories of when I was younger triggered me. And it was when my father...raped me many times." She broke down in tears. Eddie watched her cry and stood up to pull her into a hug. She didn't need to say anymore. She covered her face in his neck and holding onto him tight. Eddie's shirt began to slowly soak as tears came out of Deborah's eyes. After a couple of minutes Eddie gently pulled away from the hug and cupped one side of Deborah's cheek.
Deborah's eyes were swollen and her nose was stuffy. She never remembered when the last time she opened up to someone and they would care about her, but to her it felt like it was the first time and it felt good. She felt one of Eddie's hands cup one of her cheeks. She closed her eyes and rested the side of her face onto his hand. With Eddie's other hand, he wiped away the remaining tears that rolled down her cheek. "I will always love you no matter what. No matter what happened to you in the past I'll always be with you."
Those words made Deborah feel loved once again. She loved him and trusted him. Deborah went back to hugging him, her arms wrapped around his back, and her hands holding onto his shirt. "Just hold me a little longer, please..." Her words drifted off as her face hid into his neck again. One of Eddie's arms wrapped around her back and his hand was stroking her brown hair calming her down more. "I won't leave you. Ever." He cooed softly.
I watched Deborah break down into tears. She was broken and damaged. Her father stripped away her dignity, happiness, and love. It seemed to me that I was the only one who could make her feel loved again. I pulled her into a hug, letting her to have someone to cry onto. I rubbed her back slowly attempting to calm her down and it seemed to work. I gave her some time to calm down and once she did I pulled away telling her that I truly loved her. She needed someone to trust, to love her, and to protect her and I know that she's been lost for many years. Out of all the whores that I've dated, Deborah was different, very different from the ungrateful ones. She's the most innocent and delicate woman. I believe she changed me of what I once was. She was perfect. She is everything to me. I couldn't ever hurt her. Once when we leave this place I want to give her the life she never had.
Chapter 5: The Project
𝐽𝑎𝑛𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑦 13𝑡ℎ, 2013
𝐿𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙. 𝐵𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜 𝑢𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝐼'𝑚 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡.
𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑒𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑁𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝑊𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑤 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑎𝑑𝑙𝑦.
"Deborah?" Deborah lifted her head up immediately noticing it was Jennifer's voice. "Come in." Deborah said and hid her journal underneath her pillow. "It's been awhile since we've seen each other. I really apologize for that I had to leave the state to visit my mother who is ill." Jennifer stepped into her room. "Come with me and you can tell me anything that has occurred while I was away." Jennifer escorted Deborah down the hall to her office.
As Deborah sat at the opposite side of Jennifer's desk, Jennifer glanced over at Deborah's progress over the past few years and looked up. "Well good news, Deborah." Jennifer smiled. "You will be able to get a discharge within a few months." Deborah smiled widely. 'I'm finally getting out of this place!' She thought to herself.
"Your progress has been excellent for quite a long time. Your mood has been better as well as your mental health. So when you receive your discharge I want you to continue taking your medications, exercise to help boost your mood, and continue therapy." Jennifer shifted in her seat. "So how have things been? You might've heard about this project that has been mentioned several times throughout the facility for awhile and you probably do have questions." Jennifer brought out her clipboard.
"To start off, yes I have been feeling great. Eddie and I are still hanging out everyday..." Deborah's voice trailed. "But ever since this new person took over the facility many of the patients are being restricted from seeing each other most of the time and I haven't gotten to see Eddie in a couple of days."
"Sounds strange to me. I don't know about much of this project, but I can give you some answers." Jennifer sat her clipboard down and looked up at Deborah. "You might be wondering what is this project and why they're doing it." Jennifer sits back into her chair. "This project is called the Project Walrider. I heard that they use "Dream Therapy" as a way for patients to achieve the lucid dream state in order to become the Walrider. It sounds silly to be honest." Jennifer chuckled quietly. "I don't know what this Walrider is, but it sounds interesting and scary." Deborah didn't like the sound of this project. If only she could've gotten a discharge for her to leave sooner so she won't have to participate.
"Am I gonna have to participate in this project?"
"I doubt it. Besides, I am your doctor and I should be the one to decide if you should be in the project or not so you shouldn't worry about it. But this project does sounds dangerous and if you were to be put into this project I'd hate to see you suffer from either physical or mental side effects and all of our progress would be wasted." Jennifer saw Deborah feeling nervous and scared. "Look there's nothing to be afraid of." Jennifer stood up and walked to her door. "How about we take a walk through the halls to help you feel better." Jennifer smiled.
Deborah looked up as Jennifer walked to her door to open it. "Oh okay." She gave her a smile in return.
Chapter 6: The Downfall
𝑀𝑎𝑦 8𝑡ℎ, 2013
𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑒. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑓𝑓. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑀𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑛𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑟𝑚. 𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐿𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙. 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑢𝑝.
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐷𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑝𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡? 𝐼𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠? 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡.
𝑇𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐻𝑒'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤.
It wasn't before long until Deborah had her last appointment with Jennifer. Before she went back into her room to change into her uniform she went out into the courtyard one last time. Patients or variants are what they're now called were in the courtyard either playing basketball or talking to each other. As she scanned the courtyard she saw Eddie by himself with his head lowered. Deborah smiled and happy to see him again.
"Hey." Deborah approached the bench where Eddie sat and sat next to him. He was silent. Didn't look up. "It's been awhile since we've seen each other." Deborah's smile faded away as he didn't bother to lift his head up to see the voice that was talking to him. "Eddie, are you alright?" She slowly moved her hand to rest on his shoulder, but he slowly pulled his shoulder away. "If there's something bothering you, you can tell me. We tell each other everything, so there shouldn't be something to be ashamed of."
Eddie lifted his head up to meet his eyes with Deborah's. His face looked inflamed at one part of his face. Something was wrong. "Oh darling there's nothing bothering me." A smile grew on his face. "Eddie what they do to you?" She tried to place her hand on his face where it was inflamed, but Eddie grabbed her wrist tightly. "Don't. Touch me. Whore." He growled. "Eddie please let go. My wrist..." She begged. He slowly let go of her wrist and never breaking eye contact. She held her wrist and looked back up at him. "What's gotten into you!?" Her voice cracked as her emotions had gotten the best of her. She stood up and had taken a few steps backwards. "Me? What about you? I have been acting like a true gentleman to you and I get bitched at for no fucking reason. I've done everything for you!" Eddie stood up and slowly walked towards her. "Tell me. What were you doing while I was gone? Were you fucking one of the patients like a whore of your mother was!?" He growled.
"No! I would never, Eddie! And my mother was no wh-" Before she could finish her sentence she was interrupted by a fist to her face, knocking her to the ground. Deborah covered her nose feeling blood flowing out. Eddie crouched down to her level and wrapped his hands around her fragile neck and began to squeeze. "E-Eddie. Pl-Please stop..." She was gasping for air and trying to get his hands off her neck. Her breathing became now difficult and the world in her eyes began to turn dark until someone pull him off of her. All she could hear was yelling and tasers being shot. She became unconscious.
"Will she be alright?" A voice asked.
"Yes she'll survive. However her nose is broken." Another voice spoke.
Deborah slowly opened her eyes to see Jennifer and a male doctor. "How long have I been out?" Deborah's voice was groggy. "About an hour." The doctor replied. The doctor left the area to visit another patient. Jennifer grabbed a chair and sat down next to the bed Deborah laid in. "I heard what happened. I'm sorry."
Deborah stayed quiet as she slowly lifted her body up. "I-I can't believe he would do something like that." Tears began to form in her eyes. "Called me and my mother a whore." She wiped the tears that were trying to come out. "It looks like that this project had destroyed many of the patients here. It pretty much wiped their memories. All of their progress and their mental health is gone, but you, you don't need to worry about what's going to happen to you because you're leaving tomorrow." Jennifer said.
They're conversation was interrupted when a tall man in a dress suit with black hair came in. "Ms. Lawrence, I need to speak with you." He stood at the door and watch as Jennifer got up from her seat and walked out with him.
"Ever since this project had come into act things around here are changing a lot and I've got bad news." He began. "The bad news is that you'll be officially removed from our corporation." Jennifer's heart stopped. "Ever since this project has started it has been causing a lot of problems for our female variants and staff so we are gonna have to relocate you and the other females. But some of the females variants will be kept here for our project. And one of them is your patient in there." He paused. "You'll be leaving in a few hours along with the female variants."
"Mr. Blaire she leaves tomorrow. She has a discharge."
"Well not anymore." He gave her a small grin.
"Why are you doing this?" Jennifer asked.
"The reason why I'm removing you women from this facility is because the females are getting these phantom pregnancies due to the morphogenic engine and this condition can lead to death. And two have already died from being exposed to it. I don't want be sued or arrested because of something that I can't really have control over. So apologizes."
"You can't just relocate us. These people are still getting treatment. We can't just move to another location now. Can't you just put this project on hold?"
"Yes I can. I pretty much have full control throughout this entire facility." Jeremy take a step forward. "If you refuse to leave I'm sure that you'll want to participate in this project or maybe..." He takes another step forward. "I should visit your mother. Maybe bring her here." He smiled. "She lives in Utah, right?"
"Don't you dare lay a hand on her." Jennifer threatened.
"Oh no I wouldn't ever...That is if you give me a reason to." He steps back. "Well I think this is our last goodbye. It was nice seeing you." Jeremy walked away from her.
Jennifer stood outside of the room for a minute and walked back in to see Deborah laying on her side with her back facing Jennifer. Jennifer walked where Deborah was facing her. "Deborah?" Jennifer spoke softly. Deborah lifted her head up and sat up. "I'm sorry, Deborah." Jennifer lowered her head. "My boss had informed me that I will no longer work with you or the Murkoff Coporation and I will be leaving in a few hours."
"I'm still leaving right?" Jennifer shook her head. "No. I'm sorry. He's keeping several of you here while the others leave to be relocated to a different facility."
Tears began to roll down Deborah's cheeks. "No. No. That isn't fair! I was gonna finally leave and yet they want to keep me here to be tested on!?" Deborah tried to wipe as much tears as she could.
"I have another way to get you out of here." Jennifer tried to calm her down and placing her hand on her leg. Deborah looked over at Jennifer finally calming down. "You do?" Jennifer nodded. "Yeah." She paused. "I have a brother lives in California who works as a lawyer and I'll contact him and when I do we can start to work a way out of here. Let's just hope we win this case." Jennifer smiled as a way to cheer her up. Deborah quickly hugged her waist, her face buried into her dark red button up blouse. "I don't know what the project is going to do to you, but I want you to stay strong and remember who you are. I know what those machines are capable of. You've come this far, so please don't forget me, Eddie, and all of those fun-loving memories that you had. Promise?" Jennifer looked down and saw Deborah still had her face covered nodding.
Chapter 7: Dreadful
𝐴𝑢𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡 2𝑛𝑑, 2013
𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ. 𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑢𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑎𝑚. 𝐴𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑. 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑐 𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑐𝑒, 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝐽𝑢𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑒.
𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑚𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑒'𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒...𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟.
"This project isn't going well for the female patients. One has already died." A doctor said as he walked down the hallway with Jeremy. "I think it's best if we relocate them so we won't lose anymore." Jeremy stopped walking and turned his head towards the doctor, getting an idea. "If the females can't succeed in this project then we can...Remove their ovaries so none of the female variants won't be at risk of any side effects such as the phantom pregnancy."
"You want us to perform a oophorectomy on all of them?" The doctor asked. Jeremy nodded. "We've never tried it so what could go wrong besides that they won't be able to have children." Jeremy chuckled.
"So when shall we perform the surgery?"
"Today or as soon as possible. It doesn't matter. I want these women to succeed."
A couple of hours passed and as Deborah laid on her bed she heard a knock on her door. "Come in." She lifted her body up and watched as a doctor came in. "Ms. Jackson, since the results of this project isn't going well for the female variants and one has already failed the project, you have been scheduled tomorrow afternoon to get a procedure done." Deborah's eyes widened. "What do you mean? What am I getting done?"
"Tomorrow we will preform a oophorectomy on you which means both of your ovaries will be removed. I'm sorry." The doctor sounded sympathetic.
"W-What?" Tears began to fill her eyes. "But it's my fucking body! I wanted to have children. But no you want to just keep taking everything away from me!" Her tears spilled out of her eyes and for once she didn't hold back her words. "Fuck you! Fuck this facility! Fuck this project! I'm fucking done with EVERYTHING!" She screamed out the last word and covered her face. The doctor stood there watching her crying, didn't flinch when she yelled at him. "I'm very sorry, Ms. Jackson. I wish I could do something about it, but I don't have any control." He took a step towards her. "Please make sure not to eat anything for the rest of the day including tomorrow morning."
"Get out." She said keeping her face still covered. The doctor turned around and walked towards the door, opening it and glanced at her before leaving. Deborah lifted her head up, grabbing her journal and throwing it at the door screaming. She laid her body back onto the bed, laying on her side, and continuously crying.
Hours passed and Deborah remained laying in her bed. She glanced at the clock on the wall reading "7:34" it was finally the evening. She slowly got up, legs hanging off of the bed, and glanced over at the door where she threw her journal. She stood up and walked over to pick up her journal, holding it to her chest. To her the journal was the only way she could remember who she was. It was the only thing that kept her sane and happy in the asylum.
Chapter 8: Freedom
After the procedure was done, Deborah was taken back to her room and was laid on her bed. Hours later she woke up feeling a slight pain below her stomach and as she placed her hand where the pain was she suddenly remembered that they removed her ovaries. Trying not to cry as much as the pain slowly increased, Deborah rubbed her wounded stomach and wiping the tears that were trying to come out.
𝐴𝑢𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡 3𝑟𝑑, 2013
𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑, 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑛. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑛. 𝑁𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ, 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑠𝑒, 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠, 𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑒...𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢.
1 Month Later
Loud noises had woken up Deborah from her sleep. Her door opened slowly revealing a male Variant. "Get up! We're free!" The Variant said joyfully. Deborah got up from her bed and got dressed out of her uniform. Since the facility no longer allowed patients to wear what ever they want however, Deborah keep her belongings hidden. She stepped out of her room, watching chaos erupt. It felt like the day had come for Deborah to leave. She rejoiced. All she needed to do was to find an exit and she'll be free.
Deborah entered the cafeteria, seeing bodies mutilated and murdered. 'What happened?' She thought to herself. "Gorgeous. Just the smell!" Deborah heard a voice echoing throughout the cafeteria. As she walked towards the kitchen she saw a man that looked malnourished and blood covering most of his body. In front of him was a corpse of a man having his head shoved into a microwave. "Don't you look at us. I love him." The cannibal pulled an organ from the corpse and ate it. "Frank?" Deborah said. "What did they do to you?" She asked. Frank stopped eating and looked at her. "Such lonely flesh." Was his only response. 'He lost it.' Deborah slowly backed away looking for a way around to avoid running into him and eventually she made it out of the cafeteria and was welcomed by a dark small hallway. Navigating through the dark with no source of light she heard a saw. "I know you're close." Frank patrolled the area where Deborah was. Deborah was quiet enough to slip past him and when she approached the lighted hallway she ran as fast as she could.
After some time of running and hiding, she came across a room of furnaces that looked like it was used to cremate bodies. The room felt hot and the awful smell of bodies lingered. Approaching the door that looked like an exit, Frank ambushed Deborah. Frank brought the electric saw to her face and hesitated for a moment and lowered the saw away from her face. "You stay there and cook!" He pushes her into the furnace and turns it on. Deborah frantically looked around the small spaced furnace and seeing a brick wall that looked like it could be broken with a few kicks. Deborah used her foot to violently kick the wall and succeeding to do so. "No. No! You were mine!" Was the last thing she heard as she ran.
Chapter 9: Old Faces
"We need a goat. To bear our guilt, our gender. A small piece of flesh between us and the blade."
Deborah heard a mans voice as she walked through the attic that was just below the Vocational Block. It sounded like the Variant needed a sacrifice.
"You wanna give him to Gluskin?" The mans voice echoed throughout the attic.
"That's the idea. We feed him a goat and leave him alone." His voice changed.
"I-I-I don't wanna get Gluskin's attention. He'll hurt us." "No sense in pullin' a mad dog's tail."
In the distance, Deborah could see a Variant all by him self, talking to his self. "Gluskin?" Deborah mumbled to herself.
"W-w-walk s-s-softer. He c-can't know we're up here." The Variant walked into another room. The more she navigated through the attic, the more she could hear the Variant nearby. It sounded like he was behind her.
Deborah came up to a glass door and looked through, seeing a staircase that led downstairs. She twisted the knob. Locked. She turned around and was met face to face with the Variant. The Variant pulled out a a cleaver and held it against Deborah's neck. The Variant studied her face and smiled. "A perfect gift for the Groom." The blade traveled down to her chest. "Oh, you'll do." He pulls away and attempts to grab her wrist, but she quickly punches him and makes a run.
"The fuck did that slippery little shit go?" The Variant cursed, standing up.
Deborah ran as fast as she could, jumping and climbing over debris. She came across huge debris that blocked her path. She attempted to climb over the debris. As she did, she felt a sharp pain stabbing the back of her leg. She fell to the ground and screamed in pain. "There you are little shit." She looked up and saw the Variant's face looming over her and then knocked her out using his fist.
1 Hour Later
Deborah slowly opened her eyes and found her self in a new place. She could feel her wrists burning as she felt the rope dig into her skin. She tried to move, but her arms and legs were tied down to the chair she sat in. In front of her, she saw a man strapped down to a saw table, naked.
"Hey." She said to the man.
The man had very little head movement and moved lifted his head up. "You have to get out of here." He warned. "I've seen the things he's done." He began crying. "I don't wanna die."
"How do I get out of here?"
Before she got an answer, a tall man walked into the room. Parts of his face was inflamed and he wore clothing that looked like a groom would wear. "Darling you're awake!" The man smiled at the man on the table and approached him. "You have amazing bone structure. Such soft skin." The tall mans hand trailed down the victims thigh. He pulled away and picked up a blade. "You're going to be beautiful." He lowered the blade to his groin and pressed the blade down into him making the victim scream in pain.
Deborah's eyes were filled with fear as she watched the man get castrated. His screams filled the room and she began to panic and followed to slowly hyperventilating. As the tall man finished preforming his "surgery" he looks down at the man who was in so much pain. "P-please stop." He begged. The man wrapped his hand around his neck and lifted his head up. "You're not even worth stringing up. Bleed here... and die." He turned on the saw and slammed the mans head into the moving saw.
Deborah gasped watching him finish the man off. The man rolled his victim off of the saw table and slowly turned his head towards Deborah. "Please don't hurt me." Deborah begged. Eddie walked in front of her and kneeled down on one knee and held her head up with his hand. "Such a delicate face, dear." A small grin appeared on his face. His eyes traveled to her tied up wrists. "You don't look like a woman who would live a life of a whore...You're not one of them, right?" He looked up at Deborah. Deborah studied his face before replying to him. He looked familiar. "No. I'm no whore." She replied. His smile grew and stood up.
"I have enough trust in you so I'm going to untie you. Don't make me regret this." He began to untie her wrists then her ankles. Her wrists were red and inflamed. The man noticed Deborah in pain when she was looking down at her wrists. He gently took one of them and examined the inflamed wound. "I'm sorry darling. I didn't mean to hurt you." He grabs bandages from a table and returns to her.
Deborah watched the man lift one of her wrists and began to wrap the bandages. "Eddie?" She finally spoke. "What happened to you?" She was afraid to ask him. Afraid that he would lash out.
"The experiments are what happened. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. I have you now, and we can get married and start a family." He began to wrap her other wrist.
"Start a family here?" He nodded in reply.
He finished with her writs and stood up. "I must go prepare for our wedding. I know you must be just as eager as I am to consummate our love. But try to enjoy the anticipation."
"I don't like the idea of getting married and having a family here. The Variants are running around and would if they hurt or kill me or even our children?" She stood up from the chair.
"My dear you need to worry about any of that. I promise that none of them touch you or our children." He caresses her cheek.
"There's something else that I need to tell you..." Deborah pulls Eddie's hand from her cheek. She wanted to tell him, but she was afraid that he would hurt her or kill her. "I-I can't" She hesitates to finish the sentence. "You can't what?" The sound in his voice sounded a bit impatient. "Can't have children." She finished her sentence fast. Eddie looked confused when she told him that. "Is it true or is it that you don't want to be with me?" His voice was filled with anger and sadness. "It's true, Eddie. See?" She lifts up her shirt to show the scar that was left on her lower abdomen. "They removed my ovaries. The doctors."
"You're lying." He growled. "You don't want to be with me." He grabbed Deborah by her throat and slammed her onto the saw table. "You're like all the others." He spat. Deborah tried to get his hands off of her and then kneed Eddie in his groin, making him fall to the ground. "You crazy bitch!" He groaned. Deborah got off of the table and ran to the door.
As she ran down the halls of the Vocational Block, she could hear him yelling. "You belong with the others!" She could hear his voice echoing through the halls. She quickly found a place to hide from him and waited until he passed.
"Darling, let's not be ridiculous. Just come out and let's talk about it." He entered the area where she was hiding in a locker. "You don't have to hide from me! I only want to help." Eddie investigated the room for a bit and eventually giving up. "So many ways to hide yourself from me, darling." He finally left the room.
Deborah remained in the locker and began to cry. 'He's lost it. He forgot about me. He was the only reason why I'm still alive.' She said in her thoughts. 'I'm gonna have to leave him. I can't save him.'
Chapter 10: Recovering
Finally back with a new chapter. I'm planning on writing a Eddie Gluskin Oneshot fanfics after this fanfic is completed. There's only about 3-4 chapters left to write.
I stayed in the locker for awhile. I was afraid to step out, thinking he was still in the area. Eventually, I quietly stepped out of the locker and slowly looked around seeing Eddie nowhere. I sighed in relief.
As I made my way through the dark halls, I heard screaming not to far from where I was and the voice sounded familiar. The screaming was coming from the direction to where I was walking to. I followed the yelling and screaming and saw two open doors that led into a gymnasium. In the distance, I saw a young man wearing a patient uniform, limping out of the room, holding a camera.
I heard soft groaning from above me and I looked up to see Eddie, impaled, and hanging with the rest of the dozens of bodies that have been mutilated and turned into females, perhaps by Eddie himself.
My thoughts were telling me to save him. To get him out of the asylum. So I did.
I saw a knife that laid on the gymnasium floor. I picked it up and walked over to the rope that hung him. I began cutting the thick rope and quickly it became undone, dropping Eddie's dying body onto the floor, and leaving a loud thud.
Deborah dragged Eddie's body out of the gymnasium and into a room that looked like a old hospital room. After Deborah struggled to pull him onto the bed she looked through cabinets to find medical supplies and only found gauze, wrappings, small bottles of vaccines, syringes, and stitches. His skin began to turn pale. She began to work on him. Cleaning the wound, stitching it, injecting tetanus toxoid, and dressing his wound.
Deborah sat at a nearby desk. Her eyelids felt heavy and fell asleep to watching Eddie rest.
Few Hours Later
Deborah woke up a few hours later feeling aches and pains from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. She glanced over at Eddie. Still asleep. She stood up from the chair and walked over to his sleeping body and checked his pulse. He was alive. She smiled. She cleaned up the medical supplies that were on the floor and heard a voice behind her.
"Darling..." Eddie's voice sounded groggy. His bloodshot eyes slowly opened to see Deborah turning around to face him.
"Eddie." She walked over to him and pulled up a chair.
He slowly pulled his body up, wincing in pain. "Be careful. You had stitches done." She never looked up at him. She was still upset about what happened earlier.
"Deborah." He paused. "I am so sorry for hurting you earlier. I didn't mean to do it." He apologized. Deborah didn't say a word to him. She kept her eyes away from his face. "Darling, you're the reason why I'm alive. You're the reason why I get out of bed everyday. You're the reason why I always look forward for the future. You brought so much life into me, Deborah. I love you so, so much. Even though that you can't have children I'll still be here with you. By your side. I just want to be with the woman I truly love...and it's you, Deborah."
Deborah's eyes lift up to his inflamed face, with tears flowing into her eyes. "You really mean it?" She asks.
He nods. "Yes. Forever." She gently presses her lips against his and pulls away. "It's been so long since I've kissed you." She smiles. "I really missed you so much." She grabs some supplies and ointment that was hidden in the cabinets. "I need to clean the wounds on your face." She returns and lays the supplies on a small table next to the bed. Eddie sits up with legs hanging over the bed.
There was a short silence between them as Deborah cleaned his face.
"Who taught you how to do all of this?" He broke the silence between them.
"Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be like my mom, a nurse or a doctor. After my mom died, I found her medical books and notes in her bedroom and I just started reading them. She had lots of medical books. Books about terminology, cardiovascular system, skeletal system, and some others."
"That's impressive." He smiled.
"I'm hoping to go back to school once we escape." Deborah finished cleaning his face and walked away to dispose the used supplies. "I'm gonna go find you something to eat. We have to leave this place once you're feeling better. It's not safe."
"Be careful, darling." He laid his back onto the soft dirty mattress.
Several minutes later, Deborah returned with a small bottle of water and can of beans with a plastic spoon. "I know it's not much, but it should at least help you regain your strength." She gave him the bottle of water. "The food isn't expired. I promise." She opened the can and placed it on the table.
"I appreciate all that you've done." He finished his water and grabbed the can of beans. "You must be hungry too, dear. I'll save you some." He ate. "Where will we go when we leave this place?" He asks, giving her the can of beans to eat.
"I don't know. But far away from this place."
After they ate, Deborah moved her chair back to the desk, and rested her chin on her arms that laid on the desk.
"You could come lay down with me. It's a bit more comfortable than sleeping in a chair." He offered, moving back to give her room on the bed.
She lifted her head up, glancing over to him. "Okay." She accepted. She walked over to the bed and laid down next to Eddie. His arm was wrapped around her waist and his face was nuzzled into her neck. Eddie soon fell asleep to holding her. She moves her hand to his arm and moving it beneath her breasts. She rests her arm on top of his, stroking his gloved hand. She hasn't felt something like this in such a long time. She wanted it to last forever.
Chapter 11: Epilogue
5 Hours Later
Deborah woke up to find her head laying on his bare chest. She lift her head up to see Eddie still sleeping peacefully. She smiles and lays her head back down, tracing the scars on his body with her thumb that were left from the experiments. Soon she closed her eyes, hearing Eddie's soft heartbeat beating in her ear.
"Hey." Eddie cooed. Opening his eyes slowly. Deborah opened her eyes and lifted her head up to meet her eyes with his.
"Hi." She lifted her body up to kiss him. Her hand reaches to caress the side of his face. "How are you feeling?" She strokes his cheek with her thumb.
"Much better. I think I can walk now."
"That's great." She smiled. "The exit shouldn't be far from here." She got out of the bed and stuck her hand out to pull him up from the bed.
"I don't know how to thank you, darling. You've done so much for me." He buttoned up his dirty white shirt and vest.
"You already have."
"What do you mean, dear?" He asked.
"Through all the chaos we've been through, you still stayed with me." She kisses his cheek and walks to the door to open it.
"We made it, Eddie!" Deborah saw the lobby. Both of the doors were open with the sun rising. "We did it. We're finally leaving this place!" She rejoiced. She grabbed Eddie's hand and led him closer to the exit. "Come on!" She laughed.
Eddie couldn't believe the day came. He was leaving the asylum. Him and Deborah. Together.
Deborah released her hand from his and ran ahead of him, jumping around and laughing like a kid. It had been years since they both had been in the real world. Deborah walked to the exit, ignoring the man that laid against the door. Eddie watched her walk to the exit and realize that the man was about to leap out and attack Deborah.
Eddie's eyes widened. "Deborah!" He screamed.
Deborah turned to face Eddie and felt a sharp pain in the side of her stomach. She fell to the ground, holding the side of her stomach, crying in pain.
"Darling!" Eddie cried. He moved his eyes to the man who held the knife in his hand. "You!" He growled getting the mans attention. "Bastard! I will make sure you bleed red." He growled and walked to the armed man. Eddie stopped, feeling the ground shake and saw a black figure grabbing the man, pulling him into the air, and ripping him into pieces. Blood and guts rained.
"Eddie." Deborah coughed. She was curled up.
"Darling." He ran to her and held her. Her wound was bleeding severely and her skin slowly began to turn pale.
"I don't...wanna die." Deborah choked. Her hand gripped his arm tightly with her nails digging into his skin. "P-please help me." Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Please stay with me." His hand was pressing against her wound.
"I love you." Her voice became weak.
He cradled her body close to his. There wasn't much for him to do.
"I love you too...Darling." His voice trembled. The world around Deborah began to darkened. Her grip loosened around Eddie's arm. She took her last breath.
Chapter 12: Alternate Ending
I sat up very quickly from the bed I laid in, breathing heavily, and feeling the middle of my back of my shirt slightly drenched in sweat. I calmed down and glanced at the clock on the table next to me reading it was after midnight.
'It was just a nightmare.' I thought, sighing in relief. I felt my legs burning up in sheets and removed the covers, feeling the cold air hitting my thighs and legs. I slowly got out of bed and made my way into the bathroom that was across from the bed. I left the door cracked open and turned on the lights, turned the bathroom faucet on, and splashed water on my face a couple of times and I dried my face off. Thank god it was just a dream.
"Are you alright?" Deborah heard a groggy voice next to her.
She lifted her face from the hand towel and looked up to see a tall shirtless man, standing at the door. It was Eddie.
Deborah didn't respond, but instead she dropped the towel from her hand and hugged Eddie, burring her face in the crook of his neck.
Eddie looked down at Deborah and slowly wrapped his arms around her body. "It was another nightmare, wasn't it?" He asked.
"Yeah." You nodded.
"It's alright. It's over now, darling." He cooed.
They were interrupted by the sound of crying that was coming from another room. Deborah lifted her head to the direction the sound was coming from.
"I think Megan wants to see you." Eddie said.
Deborah left the bedroom and made her way to the room where the crying was. There was a baby crying in a crib. Deborah picked up Megan and held her against her chest, trying to calm her down and eventually did. Deborah laid Megan back down in the crib and quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She walked back into her bedroom and crawled into bed, laying on her side.
"It's been rough for you the last couple of days." He said. "And I know how tired you are and how much pain you've been through, so how about tomorrow I'll stay at home and take care of Megan while you get plenty of rest." He laid down, facing her.
"Yeah." She yawned. "I appreciate it." She moved her body closer to his. She wrapped her arm around his back and pressing her forehead against his chest. She had everything. Eddie and a family of her own. The asylum was all a dream and the abuse she'd been through were miles away.
Thank you everyone who viewed my story. I appreciate the support for the ones who stayed, wanting to finish reading this story and the ones who checked this story out. Thank you again.