IronPopTartMan: okay before this day even starts i'm just saying
IronPopTartMan: if i see natasha throw peter in the air during laser tag and they say they do this every other tuesday or some shit i'll have seen it all-
SheBeSneaky: who's to say we don't?
Spider-Burrito: don't worry mr.stark, nothing like that will happen
Spider-Burrito: right ms.romanov?
IronPopTartMan: why am i not convinced?
TonyNeedsSleep: I don't think anyones convinced
TonyNeedsSleep: Anyways, me and Cap made breakfast so if you're hungry, or eat breakfast at all, come get the food
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: F O O D
FalconsAreCool: what the actual fuck i swear he was a sleep just a few seconds ago
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: food is my calling
FalconsAreCool: i suppose you won't miss these arrows peter has been working on then?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: touch them and i will beat your ass at laser tag
FalconsAreCool: ha, tough luck
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: you're so on-
IronPopTartMan: peter, i think your work has caused another civil war-
Spider-Burrito: i'm sorry?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: these scrambled eggs taste amazing Cap thank yooouuuu
FalconsAreCool: Omg he is literally screaming bloody murder someone make him s t o p
SheBeSneaky: on it
Mr.Jesus: clint looks legitimately traumatized-
Mr.Jesus: now he's eating the pancakes instead
CaptainMotherHen: someone go comfort him and tell him their just chicken eggs-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKER: it's still a part of the same family!
Spider-Burrito: actually, chickens are a part of the Phasianidae family, but domesticated chickens are simply classified as Gallus domesticus, while Hawks are in the Accipitridae family.
IronPopTartMan: i thought you were into science? not into zoology?
Spider-Burrito: well, i go to a school for science and technology, but Living Science is a thing as well-
Spider-Burrito: you're right though, i prefer chemicals and mechanics-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ... i still don't feel that comforted-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: so it's not cannibalism?
Spider-Burrito: if you look into the nitty-gritty details like a did, i suppose not
Spider-Burrito: their stil a part of the bird family but in different sections of it so you should be fine?
Spider-Burrito: so when are we leaving?
IronPopTartMan: around 10, we'll leave around 5
Spider-Burrito: can i work in the lab before we go please? i still have 2 hours-
IronPopTartMan: sure, just don't cover it in mucus again
Spider-Burrito: it wasn't mucus! it was just a failed web fluid!
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: do i even want to know what happens when you guys are locked in the labs?
IronPopTartMan: you really don't
IronPopTartMan: to many things have happened
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i realized
IronPopTartMan: peter come on we need to go-
IronPopTartMan: you suggested this, therefore you're coming with us
Spider-Burrito: 5 more minutes-
IronPopTartMan: don't make me come and get you-
Spider-Burrito: ugh, fine, i'm coming-
TonyNeedsSleep: like father like son
IronPopTartMan: it's frustrating, that's what it is
TonyNeedsSleep: now you know how i feel-
IronPopTartMan: i could deny it
IronPopTartMan: but there's really no point
Spider-Burrito: why are we going in a limousine?
IronPopTartMan: because we don't all fit in a van
Spider-Burrito: i know that, but why did we use a bus last time?
IronPopTartMan: because it varies from time to time- we barely all fit in a limo, so it's more comfortable in the bus but here we are-
Spider-Burrito: okay then-
PopTartLover: Why is the ceiling so low in this vehicle?
IronPopTartMan: because it wasn't made for you gigantic people
CaptainMotherHen: we aren't gigantic, you're just small
IronPopTartMan: SAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU-
CaptainMotherHen: smol bean
IronPopTartMan: THAT'S IT-!
Spider-Burrito: MR.STARK NO-
TonyNeedsSleep: So now that we've calmed down these two children, what do we do?
SheBeSneaky: talk in real life like humans usually do
TonyNeedsSleep: The only people who are completely human here are you, tony and clint
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: then what are you?
TonyNeedsSleep: A cyborg, obviously
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: okay, i'll give you that one-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: AND WE HAVE ARRIVED-
Spider-Burrito: wow it's a lot bigger than i thought it would be-
IronPopTartMan: wait, have you never done laser tag?
Spider-Burrito: of course i have!
Spider-Burrito: it wasn't this big-
IronPopTartMan: well, we need a big arena for all of us-
IronPopTartMan: okay so what are the teams?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: oh oh! can we make team leaders to choose?
IronPopTartMan: what are you? a preschool student-
Spider-Burrito: i like that idea
IronPopTartMan: okay then, clint and peter are the team leaders then?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i pick first-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: uh, i choose cap
Spider-Burrito: i pick bucky
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: okay then, i choose tony
IronPopTartMan: i suddenly regret letting this happen-
Spider-Burrito: i pick nat, since us spiders must stick together
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i call bruce
CoolScienceBro: i never agreed to this-
Spider-Burrito: i choose mr.falcon
FalconsAreCool: that isn't my name-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i choose thor
Spider-Burrito: i pick loki and bruce
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ... i'm supposed to have bruce
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: but since we all care about you (and i'll get my head ripped off if i don't agree) i'll let you have him-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ok so now that that's settled let's go!
Spider-Burrito: wait who's gonna take care of Tess while we're all playing?
TonyNeedsSleep: I am, since I don't really want to participate
Spider-Burrito: oh, ok! thank you!
CoolScienceBro: Can I stand back as well?
Spider-Burrito: i mean... if you really want to?
CoolScienceBro: ... I'll join
Spider-Burrito: thank you! =D
IronPopTartMan: kid, what the hell did you put as your username?
Spider-Burrito: you'll see
IronPopTartMan: i can hear you cackling-
Spider-Burrito: you hear nothing-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LET THE GAMES BEGIN
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: OKAY SO UNCOOL PETER HOW DARE YOU BE ON THE CEILING-
IronPopTartMan: SINCE WHEN IS BRUCE SO GOOD AT LASER TAG!?!
IronPopTartMan: IT JUST
IronPopTartMan: DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
CoolScienceBro: i dabbled in laser tag a couple years ago-
IronPopTartMan: i can't believe this
IronPopTartMan: wtf, this kid can't even use a gun but he hasn't missed any of us once-
IronPopTartMan: ALSO WHY HAVEN'T YOU HIT HIM YET YOU ARE LITERALLY ONE OF THE SHARPEST SHOOTERS ON THIS TEAM
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: I'M GOD WITH A BOW, NOT THIS LASER FUCKERY
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: FINALLY I HIT HIM-
IronPopTartMan: WHY IS HIS USERNAME SUMMONING THE SPIDERS
IronPopTartMan: CAN YOU ACTUALLY SUMMON SPIDERS?!?!
Spider-Burrito: i don't know, can i?
IronPopTartMan: jesus fucking christ-
IronPopTartMan: i should've drunk more coffee this morning
TonyNeedsSleep: I'm not there with you guys, but you really shouldn't have
IronPopTartMan: OKAY WHO JUST SHOT AT ME-
TonyNeedsSleep: And he's gone
SheBeSneaky: or maybe just skillfully dodging that conversation
TonyNeedsSleep: Probably that too
Spider-Burrito: did cap just-?!
Spider-Burrito: yeet his gun?!
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT IT WAS A DISTRACTION FOR HIS FATHER FIGURE TO SHOOT AT HIM
SheBeSneaky: why are you narrating this
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: to remember my beautiful victories
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i can feel your eye roll from across the room, stop that-
SheBeSneaky: it's hard to do so when i'm surrounding by such stupidity
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i will take my revenge (ง’̀-‘́)ง
SheBeSneaky: that's sickeningly adorable
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: how dare you-
Spider-Burrito: watching Clint face plant into a wall while running away from Bucky is a mood
MischievousSnek: my mood is the black widow shooting everyone without them knowing and them shooting at everyone except her-
Spider-Burrito: y e s
MischievousSnek: YOU MUST LEARN YOUR LESSON IN TRUSTING ME
MischievousSnek: ESPECIALLY SINCE WE"RE ON OPPOSITE TEAMS WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!?!
PopTartLover: A SECRET ALLIANCE
Spider-Burrito: top 10 anime betrayals
FalconsAreCool: I wonder how mad the owners will be about the fact that there are now spider webs stuck to the ceiling
CaptainMotherHen: Probably not mad enough
FalconsAreCool: ... True