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Laser Tag

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IronPopTartMan: okay before this day even starts i'm just saying

IronPopTartMan: if i see natasha throw peter in the air during laser tag and they say they do this every other tuesday or some shit i'll have seen it all-

SheBeSneaky: who's to say we don't?

IronPopTartMan: ...

Spider-Burrito: don't worry mr.stark, nothing like that will happen

Spider-Burrito: right ms.romanov?

SheBeSneaky: sure

IronPopTartMan: why am i not convinced?

TonyNeedsSleep: I don't think anyones convinced

TonyNeedsSleep: Anyways, me and Cap made breakfast so if you're hungry, or eat breakfast at all, come get the food

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: F O O D

FalconsAreCool: what the actual fuck i swear he was a sleep just a few seconds ago

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: food is my calling

FalconsAreCool: i suppose you won't miss these arrows peter has been working on then?

FalconsAreCool: hhmmm?

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: touch them and i will beat your ass at laser tag

FalconsAreCool: ha, tough luck

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: you're so on-

IronPopTartMan: peter, i think your work has caused another civil war-

Spider-Burrito: i'm sorry?

                                    

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: these scrambled eggs taste amazing Cap thank yooouuuu

Spider-Burrito: *GASP*

Spider-Burrito: CANNIBALISM

FalconsAreCool: Omg he is literally screaming bloody murder someone make him s t o p

SheBeSneaky: on it

                                    

Mr.Jesus: clint looks legitimately traumatized-

Mr.Jesus: now he's eating the pancakes instead

CaptainMotherHen: someone go comfort him and tell him their just chicken eggs-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKER: it's still a part of the same family!

Spider-Burrito: actually, chickens are a part of the Phasianidae family, but domesticated chickens are simply classified as  Gallus domesticus, while Hawks are in the Accipitridae family.

IronPopTartMan: i thought you were into science? not into zoology?

Spider-Burrito: well, i go to a school for science and technology, but Living Science is a thing as well-

Spider-Burrito: you're right though, i prefer chemicals and mechanics-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ... i still don't feel that comforted-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: so it's not cannibalism?

Spider-Burrito: if you look into the nitty-gritty details like a did, i suppose not

Spider-Burrito: their stil a part of the bird family but in different sections of it so you should be fine? 

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ...

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ok

                                    

Spider-Burrito: so when are we leaving?

IronPopTartMan: around 10, we'll leave around 5 

Spider-Burrito: can i work in the lab before we go please? i still have 2 hours-

IronPopTartMan: sure, just don't cover it in mucus again

Spider-Burrito: it wasn't mucus! it was just a failed web fluid!

IronPopTartMan: suureeee

                                    

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: do i even want to know what happens when you guys are locked in the labs?

IronPopTartMan: you really don't

IronPopTartMan: to many things have happened

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i realized

                                    

IronPopTartMan: peter come on we need to go-

Spider-Burrito: nooooo

IronPopTartMan: you suggested this, therefore you're coming with us

Spider-Burrito: 5 more minutes-

IronPopTartMan: don't make me come and get you-

Spider-Burrito: ugh, fine, i'm coming-

TonyNeedsSleep: like father like son

IronPopTartMan: it's frustrating, that's what it is

TonyNeedsSleep: now you know how i feel-

IronPopTartMan: ...

IronPopTartMan: i could deny it

IronPopTartMan: but there's really no point

TonyNeedsSleep: exactly

                                    

Spider-Burrito: why are we going in a limousine?

IronPopTartMan: because we don't all fit in a van

Spider-Burrito: i know that, but why did we use a bus last time?

IronPopTartMan: because it varies from time to time- we barely all fit in a limo, so it's more comfortable in the bus but here we are-

Spider-Burrito: okay then-

                                    

PopTartLover: Why is the ceiling so low in this vehicle?

IronPopTartMan: because it wasn't made for you gigantic people

CaptainMotherHen: we aren't gigantic, you're just small

IronPopTartMan: SAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU-

CaptainMotherHen: smol bean

IronPopTartMan: THAT'S IT-!

Spider-Burrito: MR.STARK NO-

                                    

TonyNeedsSleep: So now that we've calmed down these two children, what do we do?

SheBeSneaky: talk in real life like humans usually do

TonyNeedsSleep: The only people who are completely human here are you, tony and clint

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: then what are you?

TonyNeedsSleep: A cyborg, obviously

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: okay, i'll give you that one-

                                    

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: AND WE HAVE ARRIVED-

Spider-Burrito: wow it's a lot bigger than i thought it would be-

IronPopTartMan: wait, have you never done laser tag?

Spider-Burrito: of course i have! 

Spider-Burrito: just

Spider-Burrito: it wasn't this big-

IronPopTartMan: well, we need a big arena for all of us- 

Spider-Burrito: true-

                                    

IronPopTartMan: okay so what are the teams?

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: oh oh! can we make team leaders to choose?

IronPopTartMan: what are you? a preschool student-

Spider-Burrito: i like that idea

IronPopTartMan: ...

IronPopTartMan: okay then, clint and peter are the team leaders then?

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: yes!

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i pick first-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: uh, i choose cap

Spider-Burrito: i pick bucky

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: okay then, i choose tony

IronPopTartMan: i suddenly regret letting this happen-

Spider-Burrito: i pick nat, since us spiders must stick together

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i call bruce

CoolScienceBro: i never agreed to this-

Spider-Burrito: i choose mr.falcon

FalconsAreCool: that isn't my name-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i choose thor

Spider-Burrito: i pick loki and bruce

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ... i'm supposed to have bruce

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: but since we all care about you (and i'll get my head ripped off if i don't agree) i'll let you have him-

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: ok so now that that's settled let's go!

                                    

Spider-Burrito: wait who's gonna take care of Tess while we're all playing?

TonyNeedsSleep: I am, since I don't really want to participate

Spider-Burrito: oh, ok! thank you!

CoolScienceBro: Can I stand back as well?

Spider-Burrito: i mean... if you really want to?

CoolScienceBro: ... I'll join

Spider-Burrito: thank you! =D

                                     

Spider-Burrito: hehehehe

IronPopTartMan: kid, what the hell did you put as your username?

Spider-Burrito: you'll see 

IronPopTartMan: i can hear you cackling-

Spider-Burrito: you hear nothing-

                                    

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LET THE GAMES BEGIN

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: OKAY SO UNCOOL PETER HOW DARE YOU BE ON THE CEILING-

                                    

IronPopTartMan: SINCE WHEN IS BRUCE SO GOOD AT LASER TAG!?!

IronPopTartMan: IT JUST

IronPopTartMan: DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

CoolScienceBro: i dabbled in laser tag a couple years ago-

IronPopTartMan: i-

IronPopTartMan: i can't believe this

                                    

IronPopTartMan: wtf, this kid can't even use a gun but he hasn't missed any of us once-

IronPopTartMan: ALSO WHY HAVEN'T YOU HIT HIM YET YOU ARE LITERALLY ONE OF THE SHARPEST SHOOTERS ON THIS TEAM

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: DIVYDVIVUUOGBWDIHWHP

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: I'M GOD WITH A BOW, NOT THIS LASER FUCKERY

                                    

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: FINALLY I HIT HIM-

IronPopTartMan: wtf

IronPopTartMan: WHY IS HIS USERNAME SUMMONING THE SPIDERS

IronPopTartMan: CAN YOU ACTUALLY SUMMON SPIDERS?!?!

Spider-Burrito: i don't know, can i?

IronPopTartMan: jesus fucking christ-

IronPopTartMan: i should've drunk more coffee this morning

TonyNeedsSleep: I'm not there with you guys, but you really shouldn't have

IronPopTartMan: OKAY WHO JUST SHOT AT ME-

TonyNeedsSleep: And he's gone

SheBeSneaky: or maybe just skillfully dodging that conversation

TonyNeedsSleep: Probably that too

                                    

Spider-Burrito: did cap just-?!

Spider-Burrito: yeet his gun?!

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: HAHAHAHA

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT IT WAS A DISTRACTION FOR HIS FATHER FIGURE TO SHOOT AT HIM

SheBeSneaky: why are you narrating this

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: to remember my beautiful victories

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i can feel your eye roll from across the room, stop that-

SheBeSneaky: it's hard to do so when i'm surrounding by such stupidity

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i will take my revenge (ง’̀-‘́)ง

SheBeSneaky: that's sickeningly adorable

CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: how dare you-

                                    

Spider-Burrito: watching Clint face plant into a wall while running away from Bucky is a mood

MischievousSnek: my mood is the black widow shooting everyone without them knowing and them shooting at everyone except her-

Spider-Burrito: y e s

                                    

PopTartLover: BROTHER

MischievousSnek: YOU MUST LEARN YOUR LESSON IN TRUSTING ME

MischievousSnek: ESPECIALLY SINCE WE"RE ON OPPOSITE TEAMS WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!?!

PopTartLover: A SECRET ALLIANCE

MischievousSnek: HA

Spider-Burrito: top 10 anime betrayals

                                    

FalconsAreCool: I wonder how mad the owners will be about the fact that there are now spider webs stuck to the ceiling

CaptainMotherHen: Probably not mad enough

FalconsAreCool: ... True