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My Friends Call Me MJ

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It was just a small celebrity crush. Nothing Michelle couldn’t handle. Shuri- brilliant innovator, crown princess of Wakanda, youtube sensation. Well… she was pretty. And smart. And kind. And generous. And Michelle could have gone on for hours about just how spectacular Shuri was. She was the perfect person to have as a celebrity crush.

“Have you seen her tumblr?” MJ would ask Peter. “She’s hilarious.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“And her vlogs? The videos she posted of her messing around in the lab?”

“Michelle, I just wanted to know what the math homework was-”

“And she’s just amazing Peter.”

“You’re anti-monarchy,” he’d remind her, desperately trying to steer the conversation back ot it’s original course.

Michelle would shrug. “But I’m pro-cute-girls.”

Peter would roll his eyes, and go ask Ned for the math homework. MJ would go elsewhere and start drawing people in crisis.

And then Peter introduced MJ to Shuri, which of course made everything worse, from the whole ‘celebrity crush’ standpoint. Because having a celebrity crush is sort of a tame thing. You almost never get to meet those people in person. Even when you do, it’s probably a letdown, because the celebrity acts mean, rude, or selfish, and suddenly the crush dissipates.

Of course things were different with Shuri.

She was fucking perfect.

MJ didn’t even think to ask Peter how he’d managed to bring princess Shuri to school with him for the day (although Michelle already assumed an answer- it was no secret to the students of Midtown that Peter Parker was Spider-Man). Michelle saw Shuri laughing at some joke Peter was telling, and suddenly everything stopped. MJ’s Disaster Bisexual™ programming kicked in and she could barely speak. Shuri said something to her- probably a “Hello”- but MJ couldn’t hear. All she could do was stutter uncontrollably. It probably sounded something like “SKFDLKALLLLADKSSHURIKLSAFJKLDSJFUCKDSKLFJOHMYGOD.” Probably.

“Michelle, right?”

“Yep,” said Peter, replying for her. “My friend Michelle. She enjoys many activities, such as reading, drawing people in crisis, protesting, and observing humanity from afar whilst silently judging us.”

Peter refrained from adding ‘She’s also been obsessing over how hot you are to me and Ned for the last three years and she’s in love with you and would make babies with you if physically possible’ but he was tempted to.

“Yeah,” squeaked Michelle. “I- erm. I do? I… yeah. People. Crisis. Crisis people. Books. I like books. Hi. Shuri. I’mMichellebutyoucancallmeMJ.”

She mentally slapped herself; this is the reason MJ didn’t talk often. She always screwed up with her words somehow.
“I’m stopping by the CVS,” Peter said. “I have to pick up another dose of T. I’ll see you guys later?”

“Bye Peter!” Shouted Shuri.

“Have fun, guys,” he gave a final goodbye, looking over his shoulder. MJ could have sworn she saw him wink. She could feel herself blushing, but she tried her best to remain cool.

“So,” Shuri said, looking at MJ intently. “Michelle?”

“My friends call me MJ.”

Shuri nodded. “I see. And what would your girlfriend call you?”