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"I need some dick." Jeon Jungkook lay on his back looking up at the ceiling from his bed. His roommate and best friend of 5 years, Kim Namjoon, turned away from his laptop to give him a look of disgust from where he sat at their shared desk. Although Jungkook doesn't see it, he just knows Namjoon is squinting his eyes at the screen like he always does when he forces himself to concentrate on anything that wasn't Jungkook's chaotic self. Usually jungkook would leave him be but this time he can't. He really needs him.


"Jungkook." Namjoon cut him off firmly as Jungkook sat up. He turned his body to face the boy on the bed fully. "I refuse to have sex with you. Ever."

Jungkook rolls his eyes before falling on his back again. He lets out an exaggerated sigh. Namjoon was so selfish.

"If you need to get off so bad go...sign up for a dating site or go to a club or something." Namjoon told him as he returned to his work. Jungkook scrunched his nose up, pondering this.

He usually hated the idea of dating online. There was no telling who was who.

"Sounds like too much work." Jungkook groans. He rolls over on his side. "Just suck me off. I'll even pay you."

"Wha- Go get a prostitute for that." Namjoon doesn't even glance in Jungkook's direction anymore. Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh.

Life shouldn't be this hard. Eat, drink, school, sex, gaming, sleep. That should be his endless cycle. But it isn't. Ever since he started college and moved in with Namjoon, the sex part of the cycle had disappeared from his life. This is what he gets for dating his best friend at one point. It was a wonder Namjoon could even put up with him.

"Fine." Jungkook huffs, getting out of bed for the first time since breakfast. Namjoon turns his head slightly.

"Fine what?"

"I'll do the stupid dating thing. Do you know any sites." Jungkook asked, approaching Namjoon. He honed in on his computer. "You're over here reading manga acting like you're doing something important."

"Listen..." Namjoon's voice trails off as Jungkook steals the mouse from his hand. Jungkook pauses for a second to hear what he has to say. When he doesnt finish it Jungkook let's out a small laugh.

"Get up. I'm going on a dick hunt." Jungkook instructs. Namjoon snorts before he stands, making sure Jungkook doesn't close his tab before leaving him to get into whatever mess he planned on getting into this time.




"Yooonnnniiieeee~~" Drunk. Drunk is the only way Min Yoongi can think to describe his best friend right now. Drunk at 12 in the afternoon. Drunk like he doesn't have a class in less than a hour. Seokjin was drunk. Drunk because his boyfriend had just called and dumped him not too long ago. Seokjin was very very drunk.

"Can you not right now?" Yoongi groans as he heads to the bathroom. Seokjin quickly pursues him, a goofy grin on his flushed face. If Seokjin weren't so drunk, he would punch him in it right now. "Seriously Seok. I have work in 20 minutes and you're drunk outta your ass so i guess you won't make it to class. Go drink some water and sleep."

Seokjin just rolls his eyes and throws his arms around the shorter man's neck, rubbing his nose against the back of his neck like his life depended on it. Yoongi let's out the loudest sigh he ever has in his entire life. How he wanted to kick his drunk friend's ass.

"Yoonie, you can't go." The pout on his lips is visible through how he speaks. "I'm having a midlife crisis." Yoongi scoffs as he rinses his toothbrush before grabbing their shared tube of toothpaste.

"One of many more to come. Trust me." Yoongi tells him, struggling to put toothpaste on his brush before giving it a rinse again. The weight of Seokjin's body made it difficult for Yoongi to brush his teeth but he still managed, spitting out the remains of the paste in his mouth in the sink before barely walking out of the bathroom, Seokjin latching on him like a koala.

Guys were jerks. Yoongi knew this from experience, having had broken up with or been dumped 5 times this year alone. But Seokjin didn't give up. Especially not on this guy in particular. The amount of times they had broken up and gotten back together is unreal. And their break ups are always over something petty, like seokjin not letting his boyfriend pay from him or something. Things people don't take to heart.

"Yoonie, you have to stayyyy." Seokjin whines as Yoongi uses his strength to physically remove Seokjin from around his shoulders. Seokjin crosses his arms, pouts, and then throws himself on their sofa. What a big dork. "I miss Hobiiii."

"Dude, he just broke up with you a hour ago, I don't know how to help you." Yoongi said, grabbing his denim jacket from where it was resting on one of their stools at their kitchen counter. "You're gonna get back together in like 20 minutes anyways so just drink something that isnt alcohol and sleep. I have to work."

Seokjin doesnt even look like he had been listening to him. His eyelids look like they're too heavy for him to keep them open. Yoongi sighs, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He cant believe he's older than him.

"I'm leaving. Bye, Seok." Yoongi nearly whispers. Seokjin mutters something Yoongi couldnt understand in response before yoongi grabs his keys, puts his shoes on and heads for the door.

He's hit with a gust of too cold air, cursing himself for not grabbing a coat. Cursing Seokjin for making him forget as he leaves the apartment building.

 As he's nearly jogging toward the train, he's late by now because of seokjin, his phone pings, indicating he just received a notif. Yoongi pulls it out of his pocket, ready to drag Seokjin like it's no tomorrow, but instead he is met with something different.

Jeon Jungkook has sent you a friend request

A few weeks ago, Seokjin had joked that the best way to find a good partner is through the internet. It was how he met Hoseok, his current ex boyfriend who owns 2 penthouses and more cars than Yoongi's sure anyone can afford. Seokjin had managed to pick up someone so expensive through Playdate, a dating website that Seokjin talks so much about Yoongi is surprised he isn't sponsored already.

So as a joke, Yoongi had made a profile. He's gotten a few messages from fuckboys, which Yoongi was 100% sure this one is...until he sees his profile picture. A blond haired beautiful with eyes that shone so bright, lips that looked softer than any pillow, and skin so smooth Yoongi is sure he could touch it through the screen if he tried.

Yoongi doesn't realize he had been standing in place, his jaw hanging low at the beautiful picture until he hears the train whoosh pass in the distance. He's really late for now, but he doesn't really care. All he knows is that he's sure he's in love and nothing else seemed to matter.



The sound of the slurping and the pop of smacking lips in front of him was distracting, irritating at the least and it made him want to explode. Park Jimin was trying his hardest to concentrate on the game of candy crush in his palm, but his friend, Taehyung, seemed hell bent on triggering him as he ate his burger and fries in front of him. Jimin had decided not to eat because he had eaten pizza earlier and he really didn't like eating in public. Scratch that. He really didn't like eating in public with Taehyung.

His friend, months younger than him by the way, babied him like he didnt know how to eat on his own. Would go as far as to cut Jimin's food into tiny pieces and coo and try to feed him. He was, to put it simply, embarrassing.

"Min, you sure you aren't hungry?" Taehyung asks, bringing the straw that sat inside his cup full of ice and soda to his mouth. Jimin let out a small groan as he ran out of turns, the game tempting him to buy more turns unless he wanted to start ALL the way over. Jimin was debating whether or not to, completely unaware Taehyung had spoken. "Min?"

"Huh??" Jimin finally lifted his head to his friend. Taehyung raised an eyebrow and Jimin was quick to show Taehyung his phone screen. "I'm not talking to the secret boyfriend you made up in your head if that's what you're worried about." Taehyung scoffs.

"I just asked if you wanted something to eat, Mr. I Can't Have A Relationship Because of a Goofy Contract." Taehyung had a smug smile on his face, ketchup smeared on the corner of his cheek. Jimin rolled his eyes before reaching across their shared table to steal a ketchup covered fry from Taehyung's plate. "I'm starting to think you do have a boyfriend."

Jimin snorted as he returned his attention to his phone. Jimin was an amateur model, an absolute noob who was extremely photogenic and drafted by some random talent agency he hadn't bothered to look into. All he knew was that he posed for people, got put in magazines, and got a mad stack afterwards. He liked his little job and didn't plan on pursuing it as a career but it was getting him through college and that was all that mattered right now.

"As if I have the time to." Jimin pouts, snatching Taehyung's drink away from him. It's Taehyung's turn to roll his eyes as Jimin pops open the lid to his drink, drinking straight from the cup. He takes a moment to swallow a mouthful. "Nobody is worthy of me and you know it."

"Not even me?" Taehyung put a hand to his chest in mock offense, pulling laughter from Jimin.

"Especially not you." He joked. They sat there laughing for the next passing moments until Jimin's phone vibrates and chimes on the table where jimin had left it, unforgotten. He groans when he sees he has a message from his manager. "Ugh!!"

"Party's over, huh?" Taehyung guessed, waving for a waiter to bring the check. Jimin sighs and nods. They rarely ever hang out outside of their shared dorm room nowadays because of Jimin's stupid on demand job. But Taehyung completely understood. Jimin used the money for his dance classes that he only went to when work wasn't in the way. And those lessons weren't free.

"I just ordered an uber." Jimin said after Taehyung paid for their food. They gathered their bags and headed for the door, waiting outside the restaurant for their uber. They stood there, shivering in silence for a bit.

"Tae, I'm really sorry." Jimin huffs, his breath visible in the air. Taehyung looked at him, a small yet genuine smile on his face.

"It's okay Minie." Is all he said. Somehow, those words didn't feel as reassuring to Jimin as he was sure they were meant to be.



It started with a few messages. Jungkook actually hadn't expected whatever it was that he was doing to go this far. But it had started with a few flirty messages and now everyday for the past week, he had been messaging this Yoongi guy.

He didn't feel bad about it. Yoongi could be a catfish just like him. And he doubted anyone actually went on these dating apps to find actual love. So...why did he enjoy talking to Yoongi so much?

Yoongi: i think i swallowed a rock

JK: do i even wanna know what happened?

Yoongi: its a good story

Jungkook giggles, rolling onto his stonach on his bed, his legs swinging excitedly. Yoongi always had the best stories and they always made Jungkook happy for some reason.

"You okay in there?" He hears Namjoon call from their small kitchen area a few feet away. Jungkook rolls his eyes as his phone vibrates again. Namjoon had definitely noticed the difference in Jungkook's behavior since he signed up for Playdate. He really loved to tease.

Yoongi: my roommate bought cereal and it was supposed to be like little fruit pebbles but there were actual rocks in the box

JK: LMAAOOOO did you taste it???

Yoongi: how do you think i found out??

JK: i dont know why but that story is so cute

Yoongi: :P
Yoongi: u think everything i do is cute tho

JK: because you're cute :3

Yoongi: cant deny that

The stupid grin on Jungkook's face was making his cheeks hurt. Why was this guy so addictive? Maybe it was because it was the internet. Maybe it made Jungkook feel safer to hide behind a screen and a completely different person.

Yoongi: Well i gotta go
Yoongi: i have work and then class

JK: awwww ;(
JK: bye bye~

Yoongi: <3

From their talks, Jungkook had learned that Yoongi worked at a flower shop near the school he went to. He lived with his best friend who apparently had a sugar daddy for a boyfriend. He was majoring in science but wasn't sure what field he wanted to hone in on. His favorite color was black and he loved stews and played the piano in his spare time. Jungkook was turning into a Yoongi encyclopedia.

"Hey, dork." Namjoon's voice startled Jungkook from his train of thought. He was now leaning on the doorframe, a small smirk on his face like he had seen enough. "Do you wanna eat?"

"Something that you cooked?" Jungkook asked, sitting crisscrossed on the bed, pulling a pillow into his lap. Namjoon quirked an eyebrow and nodded. "You wanna put me in an early grave before I meet my future lover?" Namjoon's response was to throw an unopen bag of uncooked rice at Jungkook's face, missing entirely, the bag crashing with the wall behind Jungkook.

"Never being nice to you again." Namjoon huffed. Jungkook couldn't tell if he was actually offended as he left Jungkook alone in the room. Jungkook chuckled, looking back to his phone, half wishing it would vibrate again. He really, really missed Yoongi already.

Chapter Text

Namjoon's noticed a huge shift in Jungkook's behavior lately. He's always so happy, rarely says anything perverted, and has been doing his homework. And Namjoon could only come to one conclusion: He was getting his dick sucked. And a lot by the looks of it. He was always going out to the "library", claiming it was because the wifi was better but Namjoon didn't believe a word of it.

"He must be good with his mouth." Namjoon says one day after watching Jungkook giggle at his phone while they sat together watching a movie. Actually, Namjoon was watching the movie. Jungkook found his phone more entertaining. 

"Who?" Jungkook asked absentmindedly as his phone vibrated against his thigh. Namjoon could imagine that he completely forgot that they were talking the second he picked up his phone. Jungkook didn't have enough braincells to focus on more than one thing.

"Your boyfriend. The one you found on that app." Namjoon responded nonchalantly. Jungkook looked at him, surprised. "You thought I didn't notice you found someone? So how is he?"

"Umm.." Jungkook sits his phone to the side for the first time in what feels like years. He doesn't look at Namjoon anymore, eyes on his hands that sat in his lap. "So, we haven't met yet."

"Why? You seem to like each other. Or is it one sided?" Namjoon raised an eyebrow, giving Jungkook a suspicious once over. "Are you pining?"

"No no no." Jungkook was quick to say, twiddling his thumbs. "So like, I did some dumb shit." 

"When aren't you ever doing dumb shit?"

"Haha." Jungkook rolls his eyes. "It's serious and I don't know how to get out of this."

Namjoon is really afraid to ask what and from the looks of it, Jungkook is too afraid to tell. He weighs two options in his head: Ask and help Jungkook or don't ask and keep his braincells. But, he knows Jungkook and he's never been more serious about anything so apparently he really needs his help.

"How bad is it?" Namjoon asks and Jungkook seems to breathe a sigh of relief. 

"I....ummm..." Jungkook stumbled over his words, clearly looking for the right thing to say. "You know that hot model I'm really obsessed with?"

"The one with the pretty lips?" Namjoon nods.

"I sorta...I'm kinda pretending to be him." Jungkook doesn't look up at him. Namjoon freezes for a monent. Exactly how dumb was his best friend? Like, he knew he was a moron, but he didn't know he was this dumb.

"Please say sike." Is all Namjoon manages to say after a long pause. Jungkook groans and buries his face in his hands like he always does when he's trying to stop himself from crying. "Are you just really stupid? Did you not think this through at all?"

"I was only supposed to troll but now i actually like the guy." Jungkook whines, looking over at Namjoon. "It was a joke."

"And now look what it is. A problem." Namjoon sighs. He gives his best friend a shake of the head before continuing. "Are you gonna tell him or?"

"I mean...he hasn't asked to meet so I see no reason." Jungkook shrugs. "Should I tell him I got plastic surgery??"

"Are you just stupid? Is that your thing?" Namjoon says, sounding genuinely concerned for his friend. "Tell him the truth."

Jungkook nods, as if he is slowly processing this. But, Namjoon knows his friend all too well. So he knows that things are only going to go downhill from here.



"Dude. Get off your shitty phone for five seconds and help me pick out an outfit." Seokjin whines, snatching Yoongi's phone out of his hands. If looks could kill, Seokjin would've been dead ten times over. "I need to look perfect for Hobi."

"Why? So you can break up again?" Yoongi scoffs sitting up from where he has been lying down on the sofa. Seokjin pouts, his lower lip quivering a bit and Yoongi had no idea what he was trying to do. Was that his weird form of puppy eyes or something? "Seriously, Seok, this on again off again shit is triggering."

"Kiss my ass." Seokjin crosses his arms and stops pouting. A smirk replacing his earlier expression. "You're just mad your lover boy hasn't set up a dick appointment yet."

Yoongi's face turns a deep red as he stands and tries to swing at his friend, who just giggles and runs into the next room. Yoongi hated that Seokjin was reading his mind. He hadn't said anything to him, and yet he already knew why he was upset.

Jungkook still hadn't asked to meet with him person. And Yoongi was sure that Jungkook liked him as much as he liked Jungkook. So why hasn't he asked yet? Did Yoongi read this situation wrong?

"Yoongi, sweetie." Seokjin said as he re-entered the room. Yoongi hated it when Seokjin started his sentences like that. Only smartass things followed. "This guy is either a troll or a catfish. Or both. He, or she, has no interest in getting their dick, or vagina, wet with you. They're probably laughing at you as we speak."

"Don't you have rich dick to be sucking or something.." 

"You're right. I do. Because my rich boyfriend wasn't a catfish." Seokjin smirks as he grabs his keys and bag. He gives Yoongi a tiny wag of his fingers. "Off to get my dick sucked by rich lips. Toodles." With that, he was gone.

Yoongi chuckled to himself after sitting in silence for a moment. A catfish. From the way Jungkook spoke, Yoongi doubted he was even smart enough to think of something like that. He was just overthinking and for now that was the only explanation he was going to take.


Taehyung hated when Jimin worked. He hated being away from his best friend for so long because of some stupid job that Jimin clearly didn't take seriously. He sometimes wished they could go back to the old days when they had first met in middle school. When their days were carefree and so much more fun. But, he knew he couldn't so he was going to do the next best thing. Find a boyfriend or girlfriend to cure his boredom. But how do people just do that?

Sure, he's been in relationships before but nothing really serious. Always met someone in one of his favorite shady clubs, had some fun for a few weeks, and then left the person. Jimin being his best friend was most definitely the longest relationship he has had, romantic or not. Wow. He really does rely on Jimin too much.

And as if on cue, Taehyung hears the door to their shared apartment open wide and the sound of footsteps. Taehyung is in his room right now, finding good dating sites because he's too lazy to actually get up and go search for someone. Let coding do his job for him.

"Taehyung~~" comes Jimin's voice in a sing song like tone. Taehyung smiles to himself as he clicks on a random site. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jimin's blonde head peek into his room, a grin on his face. "What are you up to? Watching porn?"

"Oh no, you caught me." Taehyung feigns surprise, covering his screen with his hands. Jimin's whole body let's out a fit of laughter as Jimin crosses the room to throw himself on Taehyung's made bed, wrinkling the smoothed out sheets. "What's up?"

Taehyung turns his attention to his screen as he waits for Jimin to respond, filling the sign up screen. He feels Jimin now hovering over him and can't help but smile.

"Are you trying to replace me?" Jimin says in a voice too whiny to be serious. Taehyung nods as Jimin pulls a chair from the other end of the room to come sit with him. "Lemme help then. It's only fair." Taehyung laughs as he begins scrolling through suggested profiles. Average. Average. Average. Nobody is interesting enough for him.

"Wait scroll up a bit." Jimin says suddenly, breaking the natural silence that had fallen over them. Taehyung does as he's told and immediately sees what Jimin had. "Jeon Jungkook...what the hell?"

Taehyung clicks it, intrigued. The profile picture and some of the latest posts were all pictures of Jimin. Taehyung looks at his friend who is staring at the screen as if he could burn holes into it. Knowing Jimin, this probably has him extremely upset.

"I can't believe this." Jimin says under his breath. Taehyung assumes it's disapproval in his voice. Of course he is. There is someone out there pretending to be him. That would piss anybody off. Especially since this could be damaging to Jimin's job.

"Min, it's okay. We can contact the people and have them get rid of this." Taehyung says, reassuring him. "I know this is probably making you so mad-"

"Mad?!" Jimin exclaims, causing Taehyung to wince at the sudden shouting. "Mad??? Taehyung...I'm...I'm..." Infuriated? Livid? "So fucking happy right now, you wouldn't even understand!!"

Taehyung is confused. 

"There is someone out there who thinks I'm hot enough to catfish as." Jimin squeals excitedly. Jimin must've lost his damn mind. "Is this what fame feels like?"

"Are you stupid?" Taehyung is genuinely asking. "This could get you fired. What if your boss sees this??" Jimin sucks in air. He clearly hadn't thought of that. "I'm reporting this guy."

"No wait." Jimin takes Taehyung's hand before he can do anything. "Let's have fun with this." Taehyung didn't know what to expect from that mischievous smirk on Jimin's face. But he knew his best friend well enough to know it was only going to bring trouble.


"Hey beautiful, perfect, and all things wonderful." Hoseok greeted Seokjin. Seokjin gave him a small smile and even though he smiled Hoseok knew he was pissed. Hoseok had been nearly hours late. Again. But, Seokjin never complained so he planned on always doing it.

Before sitting down, Hoseok cups Seokjin's perfect face in his hands and left a peck on his lips, giving him a sincere smile before taking a seat across fron his boyfriend. He signaled for the waiter and proceeded to order just about everything on the menu. Even after the ordering the couple remained quiet, the atmosphere so heavy Hoseok grows hot and feels suffocated.

"Baby, I'm sorry." He says. Seokjin looks up at him, his eyes leaving the empty plate he had been staring at. He can tell Seokjin doesn't want to hear any of it, but continues anyway. "I'm an ass for always doing this and I..I'm just really sorry." 

Seokjin purses his lips together. He still doesn't say anything, his eyes looking everywhere but at his boyfriend. He must have been thinking really hard about a response, but what he came up with was as half assed as their relationship.

"It's okay." Seokjin tells him, still looking everywhere but at him. Hoseok holds back a sigh, knowing he had done this to himself. "I mean, it isn't the first time you've shown up late, smelling like every perfume that's ever been known to man."

"Excuse me?" Hoseok quirks a brow. "Not this again."

"I didn't say anything. Oh look the food is here." Seokjin pretends to be intrigued in their order as the server comes their way, balancing 5 plates on each arm. Seokjin gives him a flirtatious smile, one that wasn't supposed to go unnoticed by Hoseok. "You must be really strong in order to carry so many plates at once." The server returns his smile before shooting a glance in Hoseok's direction before quickly leaving. 

"What the hell was that?" Hoseok's voice is dripping with disbelief. Seokjin justs gives him a roll of his eyes.

"That's you whenever you meet someone." Seokjin informed him. Hoseok sighed. Seokjin seemed to see anyone he was friendly with as a threat. There was a time when Hoseok thought it was cute. But lately, it bad been getting out of hand.

"Why are you being like this?"

"Why are you always late?" Seokjin retorts. Hoseok doesn't know how to answer him so he doesn't. Seokjin lets out a snort and rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Let's just eat."

They eat in silence. Neither of them wanting to initiate a conversation, both trapped in their own thoughts. Hoseok wonders why he keeps doing this to himself. To Seokjin. He doesn't want to leave him, but sometimes that's the only option. And it feels like that is one of those times.