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Every Time I Bleed.

Chapter Text


          Madame F had put out the call to all available Dominants and their submissives, to attend a meeting at her manor, to discuss some important information on Nakamura Taizo. The report that had come to her was more disturbing than she had expected, the man was out of control within the community, and actions had been taken though the issue had not been completely resolved.

          By mid-afternoon there were multiple Dominants and submissives seated in Madame F’s large open parlor. Niihara, and the owners of the Fetish Club and Club Scream were also present, as this information concerned their businesses.

          “Thank you all for attending, I brought you here to discuss the issues with Nakamura Taizo and his problems within the community. I have received a report that the man has violated our covenants, and as of right now is banned from our collective community, how you each deal with this censure within your own clubs, is your right, though I suggest at this point that he is banned from all community associated clubs.”

          The first incident involved a young woman, not a submissive, that Nakamura picked up from the Fetish Club, and convinced her to go home with him. Once they were in Nakamura’s home, he became aggressive and rough, and the woman walked out.” Madame F looked at Jun, the owner of the Fetish Club. “Jun-san, this does not reflect badly on your establishment as this woman was not part of our community, and even if she was there would be no repercussions facing you, please be at ease.” The man nodded, still embarrassed that the woman was at his club.

          “The second incident was far more serious, as it involved a young man whom Nakamura held captive for six days before he could escape.” The gasps and murmurs in the room were of fear and disgust. “Nakamura had found the boy at Club Scream…” a small groan was heard from the owner of the club, “as with the woman, he took him home and abused him over six days, only able to escape in a t-shirt and underwear while Nakamura was showering. He went to the concierge of the building and had the police called in. They interviewed the boy first, then Nakamura who was snake like and was able to convince the police that the boy agreed to stay with him. There were no charges brought against him or the boy.”

          “Is he that convincing that he could worm his way out of this?” Niihara asked. “Yes, unfortunately he had all of us fooled. Yes Velvet?” The tall American girl raised her hand, “Madame F, Nakamura-san has approached me on more than one occasion and asked who my Dominant was, and if he could steal me away from them, I never told him that Niihara-san was my Dominant, in fact I never answered him…he always scared me, there was something about his eyes.” Niihara cupped the girl’s chin and kissed her softly, “You’ll never have to worry about him again, love.” Velvet smiled and nodded.

          “This last incident happened two nights ago,” Madame F continued. “It appears that Nakamura went to an exclusive high-end host club, throwing money around like it was trash and eventually ended up in a private room with two young men. Per the police report, one of the boys was sexually assaulted, with the other had been slapped around rather violently. The police came and the club had Nakamura arrested.” A sigh of relief was heard throughout the room.

          “But,” a collective groan, “It seems that Nakamura Taizo has posted bail and has left the country, most likely headed for America. I have already taken the liberty to call several of my American associates and fore-warned them about Nakamura and what havoc he had done in our small close-knit community. I do not believe that he will be running for long, or very far.” There was some discussion about what the community could do further to keep out these types of Dominants, and this is when Madame F asked about Masamoto Umeji, at the sound of the man’s name, Byou whined and buried his face in Karyu’s shoulder.

          “As you know, we are still looking for Masamoto Umeji and his associates, I am fearful that what has happened to Byou, might have happened to others. Byou had mentioned that the man kept calling him ‘Taka’, I feel it is critical that we flush…” Madame F stopped, her eyes growing wide, she looked at Sakurai, “Taka…”

          Sakurai looked puzzled, “No! You can’t mean?” Madame F nodded, “You need to speak to him Acchan, and the sooner the better.” Sakurai nodded, “I will call him once we get home. I’m not sure he can shed any light on where the man may be, but we can at least link the man to Taka.”

          “What’s this about Taka? Does he know the Dominant that hurt Byou?” Uta knew that Sakurai had a very short relationship with Taka, but didn’t understand the connection to Masamoto Umeji.  “When Taka and I were … well what we did wasn’t dating, but anyway… he told me he had a very abusive Dominant, and some of the things he told me, were very close to what happened with Byou-kun, I never asked Taka the name of the man who was his Dominant.”  After a nice lunch and Uta deciding he needed a nap, Sakurai called Taka and asked for a meeting. “I’m at work, I can speak to you if you’d like to come down.”


          “Masamoto Umeji… how do you know that name?” Taka’s face turned ghostly white, his voice quivering. “Is that the Dominant that abused you so badly, Taka-kun?” Sakurai reached out and took Taka’s hand in his, “Yes…” Taka whimpered, instantly turning into that cowed abused submissive that had been shoved down and out of his soul for so long.

          “That is the man that apparently did the same thing to Byou, the estate, the nyotaimori, letting the other men abuse him sexually and even the ‘worthless piece of shit’ comment. He left Byou alone in that house, with money and a note saying that now Byou was damaged goods.”

          Taka started to shake, his ears filled with a rush of blood and his vision blurred, “I never thought I’d ever hear that name again, not after all these years.” He looked at Sakurai, “He…he’s not coming here is he? Please, Acchan, don’t let him see me! Hide Uta, oh god, hide Byou! No!” Taka lurched to his feet, stumbling towards the office of the HBG, “Taka…” Sakurai called out as he grabbed the young man by the shoulders, turning him and wrapping his arms around Taka tightly. “He’s not coming here… breathe Taka, take a deep breath.”

          “There better be a damned good reason you have my husband in your arms, Sakurai.” A growl came from behind them, “SATO!” Pushing Sakurai back, Taka rushed into his husband’s arms, “Babe, what’s wrong?” the young man was sobbing into his husband’s chest, “Did Sakurai…” Taka shook his head, a muffled ‘no’.

          “Sato-san, it’s not what it appears, he is upset from some information that we just exchanged, please sit and let me explain.” With Taka in his lap, Sato sat down with Sakurai and listened to what the man had to say. “You’re fucking joking? The same… that asshole! Is Byou alright? I know he’s with Isshi, but mentally is he okay?”

          They spoke for a while longer, until Taka was ready to go back to work, “What will you do if you find him?” he asked Sakurai right before he left. “I’m not sure what Madame F has planned, we haven’t heard anything from any of our sources. I will let you know if more information is uncovered.” Leaving the HBG, Sakurai had a little guilt weighing on him, scaring Taka so badly, “Should have had Sato here the entire time.”



          The morning after the party, and the drunk text by Aoi, Yuki woke in a foggy haze, slightly hung over and more than a little confused by Aoi’s actions of donating a large sum of money in Ken’s name. Still not understanding the motive behind it, Yuki went through his early day with the question hanging over him. Making a cup of tea and some rice, Yuki went over their conversation, or really… just his confession. “He hung up on me, so no reason was given? I deserve an answer, it’s my right…I’m Ken’s lover, I should know who’s doing things in his name.” The internal dialogue was the same, arguing with himself over Aoi’s right to do things in Ken’s name. “That’s bullshit.” Getting dressed he decided, “He’s going to have to face me, no running away.”

          Leaving the flat and getting in the small sedan that everyone used, Yuki carefully pulled out of the parking lot and headed downtown, as he thought of the best way to approach the subject, how to discuss this without it turning into a huge fight. “You’re going to have to listen to me just this once, Yuu.”

          After parking his car as close as he could, (his back still hurt) Yuki made his way up to the third floor, and down the hall to Aoi’s flat, ringing the doorbell twice. Nothing, not a sound. Yuki knocked, and waited. “Yuu, I know you’re home, open the door, we need to talk.” He pressed his ear to the door, “Damn.”

          “Fuck this, I’m just going to sit here and wait, he can’t be too far, his damned car is in the lot.” As careful as he could, Yuki slid down the door and sat down, his legs stretched out in front of him. “You’re going to have to tell me everything, I don’t care if we have to do this all night…I’m not leaving,” he muttered to himself. Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, Yuki tried to shut out the traffic noise coming from the street and focus instead on the sounds of the birds in the courtyard, the hum of the cicada’s and enjoy the breeze that was flowing down the long hall.


          As he climbed the stairs, Aoi’s mind wasn’t on anything but getting into his flat and to start drinking, and hope that Yuki didn’t call him again and chew him out for the night before. All night his dreams were variations on Yuki’s fall at the HBG party; Yuki’s back breaking in half, Yuki’s skull being crushed, as he died in front of everyone who were then running after him with guns and knives. The dreams persisted until the early dawn, when he finally was able to sleep peacefully for a few hours. Now he was just dead tired and didn’t want to think of anything, another day with his mind dulled by alcohol.

          Getting to his floor, he turned the corner to walk down his hallway and stopped dead. “What the fuck?” As he got closer to his front door, he could see that Yuki was asleep, not quite snoring, but asleep. “Why are you here?” he whispered as he squatted down next to Yuki and tapped him on the shoulder.

          “Hmm? Oh, you’re back, help me up.” Yuki yawned and held his hand out, Aoi taking it and making sure Yuki didn’t strain his back. “Um, why are you here?” Yuki brushed off his butt and looked up, “You and I are going to talk, and I’m not leaving until I get some answers so just open the door, you can’t run or hide from me forever.” Aoi sighed and unlocked his door, “Fine. After that you’re leaving.” He muttered.

          Yuki gasped when he saw Aoi’s flat, “Did you have a party or something?” Aoi’s usually tidy flat was a mess of empty beer cans and vodka bottles, mixed with take away containers and ramen bowls. “No, I didn’t have a party. Ignore it, it’s none of your business.” Aoi walked over and put his beer in the fridge, keeping one out for himself, “You want one?” Yuki shook his head, “No,”

          Yuki sat down carefully on Aoi’s couch, waiting for the man to sit next to him. “What do you want Yuki?” Aoi muttered as he stood on the other side of the coffee table, “I want you to sit down and act like a damned adult first, then I want to ask you some questions.” Aoi frowned, but sat down on the end of the couch, as far away from Yuki as he could get. They looked at each other for awhile, each one trying to come up with the right words to say. With a sigh Yuki started the conversation.

          “I miss Shiroyama Yuu, that’s who I fell in love with.”

          “Yah? Well I miss him too, he’s somewhere…but I don’t know where anymore.”

          They looked at each other for a moment.

          “Why were you at the cemetery yelling at Ken?”

          Aoi looked at the floor, “I um…Ayato had come into the studios to give something to Reita, and Ruki was asking about how you were doing. Ayato said you were healing but you were lonely…honestly, I can’t listen to anyone speak about you anymore. I didn’t even realize where I was going until I parked my car. I was yelling at Ken because he was letting you suffer, and um… that he hasn’t told me how to help you, how anyone can help you.”

          This stunned Yuki, Aoi was actually thinking of someone else, “Ken can’t do anything, Ken’s gone…he’s dead.” Yuki’s lower lip started to quiver, “There’s nothing anyone can do, you can’t give me my life back.”

          “If I could give you anything, if I could fix this I would, I should have been a better boyfriend, hell…a better human.”

          “You can’t keep thinking that way, it’s not doing anyone any good, you didn’t kill Ken, it’s not your fault that he died, that’s all on that damned asshole who decided to get behind the wheel after he’d been drinking, he’s the one that ruined my life and took Ken’s, not you.”

          “He loved you, I could see it every time he looked at you, you meant the world to him, I wish I could have been that person, but I’m glad it was Ken.”

          Yuki was trying hard to keep it together, not to break down, but now that he was sitting in front of Aoi, talking about Ken, there was nothing he could do and for the first time since the accident, Yuki fell completely apart and Aoi was there to catch him.

          The gut wrenching sobs, the high pitched wails that came from Yuki, were everything that Aoi didn’t want to see, he didn’t want to see the boy that he still loved, in so much pain, and the only thing he could do was to hold Yuki in his arms, slowly rocking him and rubbing circles in his back. Once the tears had dried, and Yuki sat up again, Aoi went and got him a glass of water and a box of tissues. “Thanks.”

          Finishing the water, Yuki looked to Aoi again, “You still love me, don’t you?” This wasn’t really a question as much as a comment. “Yah, I do.” Aoi answered simply.


          Aoi chuckled, “You’re loyal to your friends, even when you disagree or argue. You can make anyone smile or laugh just by being in the room, you help people when they needed it, like with Reita and Ayato, or even Pon and Die. You’re a good person, Yuki…what’s not to love?”

          “Did you leave the kittens?”

          “Yah…I did, are they okay? What are their names?”

          “They’re fine, teenagers almost, I named them Rin and Sora. Why did you leave them for me?”

          Aoi shrugged, “I thought it was weird that Kyo gave people kittens to make them happy or feel better, I know he gave Uta and Koichi both kittens. Then I saw the two babies in a box, some random skeezy looking guy was in front of a konbini, just giving them away. It pissed me off, it was like he was just throwing them away, so I took them both home. I was going to keep them, then I remember Kyo giving kittens to people and I figured you could use two cute babies to cheer you up.”

          “Why didn’t you just knock on the door? I would have taken them regardless, but you just left them…why?”

          “Because I figured people would see it as me using them as a way to get to you, when all I wanted to do is make you happy, I didn’t want you thinking it was some sort of grand gesture to weasel my way back into your life.”

          The silence stretched out again, Aoi getting up and getting Yuki another glass of water. “Why do you keep running away every time you see me? Like at Ojisan’s, you’ve done that twice, why?”

          “If I’m honest with myself, it’s guilt. My brain tells me I had nothing to do with Ken’s death, but my heart breaks every time I see you, had I been a better boyfriend, maybe we’d still be together, and Ken would be alive. I can’t stand the thought of causing you any more pain than I already have, I told you…I’m a coward.”

          Aoi sighed, rubbing his face and laying his head back on the couch, “Can we ever be friends again?” he asked without looking at Yuki. “Maybe, I don’t even know what we are right now. I will tell you; I don’t hate you, Yuu, but right this second, I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow. It’s day by day for me.”

          Aoi sat up again, and looked at his former lover, “I understand, I don’t expect you to ever be my friend again.”

          “I need to get going, my back is starting to hurt a little.” Yuki slowly got up from the couch, and made his way to the door, “Um, thanks for finally talking to me,” Yuki hesitated for a moment, then hugged Aoi tightly, “Thanks for the kittens, they do make me happy.” With a wave, Aoi watched Yuki go down to the parking lot, waving as he got into his car and then left the complex.

          The two men had similar thoughts as they separated; Aoi was hopeful for at least friendship with Yuki, he was certain that he’d never be in a relationship with the young man again, and Yuki now understood that it was guilt that had been driving Aoi’s actions.

          Walking into his flat, Yuki went straight to his bathroom and got another pain pill, noticing that he was low, “Shit.” He could hear the doctor’s voice ringing in his head, “young people don’t always follow directions.” His next appointment was a week away, and he was hoping that he could stretch the pills out that long, “Stop moving around so much.”

          Going back into the living room, Yuki stopped and grabbed a cola out of the fridge, “wish I had a damned beer,” Looking out the kitchen window, he see’s Pon walking into his flat, “Hmm,”

          “Hey what’s up?” Yuki knocked and poked his head in Pon’s door. “Nothing much, just getting home…hey want a beer?”