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Every Time I Bleed.

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      They had talked at length that evening, Byou explaining his past to Taizo who tried not to judge. “You were young and stupid, Byou.” He said bluntly. “The issue at hand is are you still young and stupid?” Byou had the correct basics in place, only looking at the Dominant when told to. “Everyone seems to believe that I am, Sir.” Byou’s short interaction with the other Dominants made it obvious to him, that none of them believed he had redeemed himself, at least not in the eyes of the community.

          “What do you expect of me if I take you as my submissive?” Taizo always asked this question, too many times had he agreed to contract a submissive only to find out that what they expected was not on the same page of what he demanded. “Sir? I um…I don’t expect anything, Sir.” Who is this guy? Taizo frowned, “That’s not a sufficient answer, Byou. As a submissive you should have expectations of your Dominant, I am not interested in ruling over you. I’m sure you have things that you would expect me to provide.”

          Byou eyes wandered around the room, how could he ask anything of Taizo, when it was obvious that the man had everything. “I um, I don’t know. I’ve never been asked that before. I guess I’d want you to love me and care for me.”  Taizo reached out and cupped Byou’s chin, “Love you? Since when do Dominant’s fall in love with their submissives?” Taizo snapped.

          “If you can’t love me, I can’t be your submissive. I’m sorry.” Byou got up from the couch and walked towards the door. “Thank you for speaking with me.” He bowed and left Taizo’s home.  “What the hell kind of question is that? He can’t love me?” The tears that he had held back, started to fall. He had such high hopes when the Dominant approached him tonight, and now here he was alone and abandoned yet again. “Maybe Isshi…yah right, not even a chance.”

          Walking towards the train station, Byou looked around for any security then jumped the turnstile. It was late and the last train would take him back towards the city and the sleezy internet café he was staying at. Sitting down on a bench, Byou waited for the train and started to plot out his next move in his mind. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t see a man walking down the stairs, not even noticing when Taizo sat down next to him. “Really? Is it that easy to walk away from me?”

          Byou jumped a little. “Wait, what? I’m not walking away from you. You’re the one that doesn’t want me,” he snapped. “You ask me a stupid question, then tell me that you can’t love me? What the hell…you’re throwing me away before we even try. So yes, it is that easy to walk away from you. Excuse me, my train is coming.” Byou stood up and moved towards the edge of the platform, refusing to look back at Taizo.

          As the train ground to a halt, the doors opened and Byou stepped in, taking a seat in a corner, looking out the window as to avoid looking at Taizo. The doors to the train started to close, the chime sounding. Byou turned to look at the platform, seeing that Taizo was gone, much to his relief.  “You’re not getting away that easily, Byou.” Approaching from the other end of the train, Nakamura Taizo walked up the aisle and sat next to Byou. “What the fuck are you doing? Just leave me alone.” Byou went to stand up and move away from the Dominant, when Taizo reached out and caught the young man by the arm, pulling him back in his seat. “Sit down, you little twit.”

          Byou yanked his arm away, “What part of leave me alone don’t you get? You made it perfectly clear that as my Dominant, you can’t give me what I want, so why the fuck are you here?” Taizo reached out and slapped Byou across the face. “Shut up for ten minutes and I’ll fucking tell you why I’m here!” the man growled.

          Byou’s hand flew up to his cheek, “What the fuck? You just slapped me!” He tried to get up again, Taizo reached out and grabbing him by the hips and pulling him into his lap, reaching up he grabbed the young man’s chin roughly, “If you would let me…” he murmured as he closed in, kissing Byou gently. “Just shut up and listen to me, boy.”

          Byou’s body relaxed, he was just done with everything, “Whatever…” he muttered. Taizo tightened his arms around Byou’s waist, “Come home with me, so we can talk.” Taizo’s head was leaning into Byou’s back. “Why should I?” Byou asked. Taizo’s arms loosened slightly, letting his hands roam over the young man’s chest, “You’re coming home with me, Byou.”


          Taizo led Byou up the stairs at the next station, and hailed a cab. Giving the driver the address, he reached over and took the boy’s hand in his. “We will finish our discussion,” he said calmly. It took but a few minutes to arrive at the posh apartment building where Taizo lived, taking the elevator to the 26th floor. Before he opened his front door, Taizo pushed Byou against the wall and captured the young man’s lips in a heated kiss. “We will talk.”

          Pointing to a couch, Taizo went into the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine, rejoining Byou and handing him one. “I believe I need to clear up something first,” he said as he took a sip from his glass, “I apologize for the answer I gave you. I’m sorry you felt used or lied to, that was not my intention. I was caught off guard by your comment, I wasn’t expecting you to say that you’d want me to love you.”

          Byou looked down at the glass of wine in his hands, he said nothing. “My former submissive Constance, we had been together for almost twenty years and yes, I loved her a great deal. But she would not leave with me, we voided our contract and she stayed in America.” Taizo finished his wine, getting up for another glass, “When you said you wanted me to love you, it caught me by surprise. I have not told anyone I loved them other than Constance, for years, and for you to stay that in order to make you happy, you expect me to love you was just a little harsh to my ears and to my sensibilities.”

          “What does that mean for me?”

          “It means that if you’d like to have a trial period, I’m sure we could make some temporary arrangements for let’s say…three months?”

          “What kind of arrangement?” Byou didn’t quite trust Taizo.

          “What would you like from me, Byou? Tell me truly from your heart what you’re looking for.”

          Byou drank his wine, forming his thoughts before he spoke. “I want security, no I need security. I need to know that you won’t void our contract if I do something stupid. I need a firm hand because sometimes I’m an idiot and I say things that I shouldn’t.” Taizo took Byou’s glass from him and went into the kitchen to refill it. “Alright, so far this all sounds fair.” The Dominant handed Byou his glass, “What else?”

          Taking another deep drink, Byou continued, “I will not sign any contract if you mean to share me with others, that’s a complete deal breaker. Isshi-san never did it, but I have had others that did.” This was insightful for Taizo, now understanding Byou’s request to be loved. “I want a chance to apologize to Isshi-san at some point.” Another surprise, “Why?” Taizo asked.

          “What I did to him was hurtful and selfish and I was a complete asshole. I’m not that person now, and I want to be able to show Isshi-san that.” Byou’s nerves were throbbing in his back, scared that Taizo would think his demands were ridiculous coming from any submissive. Drinking the rest of his wine, he set his glass down on the table, the alcohol was starting to muddle his thinking.

          “I want you to spend the night Byou, in my bed. There will be no scenes, no sex. Tomorrow I will arrange a meeting with either Mistress Davina or Madame F, to discuss a trial period and temporary contract. We will also go and retrieve what ever belongings you have. But tonight, it’s just sleep, nothing more. Is there anything that you want before we retire?” Taizo stood up taking the wine glass to the kitchen.

          Byou hesitated, but it made more sense, “Could I take a shower please? I don’t want to get your sheets dirty.” Taizo looked over his shoulder, “Yes of course. I will lend you some sleep pants and a t-shirt for tonight.” Directing Byou to the large master bathroom, he left the boy to shower alone, much to Byou’s relief.

          Letting the hot water run over his head, Byou breathed easier. The shower was large (enough for two) and the bathroom itself was stunning, the entire house was like nothing he’d ever seen before. He heard the door open, “Your clothes are on the counter,” Taizo snuck a glance at the naked form of the boy, outlined in steam on the shower door, an appreciative smile grew on his face and a twinge in his groin.  Giving the young man time to dry and get dressed, Taizo changed into pajamas and sat on the end of his bed to wait for Byou.

          There was a toothbrush laid out for him, along with the pajamas, Byou a little overwhelmed by the generous acts. Finishing brushing out his hair, he opened the door, “How was your shower?” Taizo asked. Byou looked down, twisting the bottom of this shirt, “It was good, the shower’s very large…well the house is huge, it’s beautiful.”

          Taizo stood up and walked towards Byou, putting his hands on the young man’s shoulders. “I want you to sleep well tonight, you look like you haven’t had a decent night in some time.” Byou just nodded. “Come then, enjoy the comfort of my bed.” Byou grinned and with a giggle, launched himself onto Taizo’s bed. “God this feels good!” pulling back the comforter, he burrowed down into the luxury sheets, pulling them over his head. “I could stay here forever,” he murmured. The Dominant laughed, “That might be arranged you know, but if you do consent to stay with me, you would always have your own bedroom, you would not be required to sleep with me every night, I can be a bit of a bear sometimes.”

          Pulling the sheet down, Byou looked at the other man. “Do you snore?” he laughed, “Not that I know of, Constance never complained about it, if I snore tonight feel free to make me roll over.” Without warning, Byou rolled over and quickly kissed Taizo. “Thank you,” he whispered on the man’s lips. Taking advantage of the closeness, the kiss was returned eagerly and with a bit more passion. Byou mewled through the kiss, “You’re welcome,” Taizo kissed Byou on the nose, then reached over and turned off the light, pulling the younger man close to him.

          Waking in the middle of the night, Byou had to gently pry himself out of Taizo’s arms in order to use the bathroom. Quickly walking back to the bed, he slid in carefully and snuggled against Taizo’s side, and the man mumbled something and put his arm around Byou’s waist. It felt so good to be held by someone as he had longed for this for five years.


          Byou stood against the wall in Madame F’s large office, listening to Taizo speak about the temporary contract. Ormond was standing behind his Lady’s chair, his eyes on Byou throughout the exchange. He had known Byou when the young man had been contracted to Isshi, and what the Dominant had gone through emotionally with the boy. As such he didn’t exactly trust the submissive young man, at least not yet.

          “Three months? That seems sufficient enough time to decide on a permanent arrangement. Byou, come here boy.” Madame F directed the boy. ‘Yes, Ma’am.” Byou kept his eyes on the ground at all times, Madame F had always intimidated him a great deal, more than any other Dominant he had come in contact with.

          “I want you to look over these terms, Byou. Initial next to what you agree with, and if there is anything you don’t like, we can discuss that.” Madame F knew there was nothing that the boy would object to, he had stood and listened as the two Dominant’s discussed the terms of the contract. “Yes Ma’am.” Byou picked up the paper and read through it, a tiny gasp when he saw the section about his collar. “Ma’am? Am I to have a collar, even without being contracted?” he asked. This was not unusual in the community, but it was something new for Byou.

          “Yes Byou, I’m going to provide you with a temporary collar, if you are to attend me in public, it must be noted that you belong to me.” Taizo wanted to have the boy sign a permanent contract right away, he had no doubts after the boy spent the night in his bed. Byou put the paper down and reached for a pen, initialing all of the conditions happily, secretly wishing that this was his real contract.

Presented with his temporary collar, Taizo buckled in place before Byou and Taizo left Madame F’s and went to the internet café where Byou had been living, to collect the paltry personal belongings. “Most of this we can just throw away, I um…don’t have a lot of clothes.” Byou was embarrassed, trying to shove his things in a bag quickly so Taizo wouldn’t see. “Let’s take stock of what you have, and then we’ll go shopping, ne?” Byou was shocked, “Wait… you’re going to take me shopping? But I’m not fully cont…”

          “Byou, if you’re going to be with me, you’re going to have to learn to let things go. It’s obvious I have a lot of money, right? Just get your things and let’s go home.” Taizo grinned, putting his arm around Byou’s shoulder as they left the internet café. Walking towards the sleek red BMW, Taizo dug a little to find out what exactly Byou wanted to wear, or was comfortable wearing in relation to being a submissive. He was surprised at Byou’s rather timid request, “If it costs to much, then forget it, but do you think I could get my hair dyed dark again?” Byou had bleached his hair in an act of pure rebellion, but now being with Taizo, he wanted to return to his true self, which was dark hair.

          Taizo stopped mid stride, in the middle of the sidewalk, “Why would you think I would say no?” Byou looked at his feet, “Maybe because you like my blonde hair…that maybe it’s what attracted you to me?” Taizo sighed, “No, it wasn’t all the blonde hair, it was the look in your eyes, it was the story that Madame F and Isshi told me, that’s why I came to you.”

          Without regard to anyone on the street, Nakamura Taizo slid his arms around Byou’s slender waist, pulling him close and kissing him deeply. Resting his forehead on Byou’s, Taizo looked into his submissives eyes, “I want you, the whole you, not just the submissive or sex you…all of you. So just let me care for you, ne?” Cupping Byou’s face in his hands, he kissed the boy again. “Let’s just work on us for right now, and not worry about anything else.” With a kiss on the nose, Taizo took the young man by the hand and led him towards his car.

          Back at Taizo’s home, Byou dumped his bag on the bed in ‘his’ bedroom, something that Taizo wanted him to have, “You must have your own room as I’m sure there will be nights either you or I will be too tired or sick to want to play. You need your solitude as much as anyone else.”

          Looking through the clothes it was obvious that most of what the young man owned was ‘shit’ as he so eloquently put it to his Dominant. “I have one sorta decent outfit, that I wore every time I went to Vinyl Fetish, other than that I have a few pairs of track pants and some band t-shirts, that’s it.” Taizo sat on the side of the bed, making a list in his phone. “You need clothes, you need shoes, all the basic things that a man should have. Oh, and we need to have your hair done, and I know just the place.”

          Putting the few clothes he would keep in drawers and in the closet, he listened as Taizo made the hair appointment, “We’ll be there, thank you.” He snapped his phone shut, “We need to be there in an hour. I’m going to make us a quick snack then we’ll go.” Taizo reached out and grabbed Byou’s ass as he walked by, smirking over the small yelp he got in response. This was going to work, he had to move on from Constance and the only way to do that would be to dive into another relationship. There was no denying Byou was attractive, he could only imagine the young man moaning under him as he would deny the boy’s orgasm, the sounds he would be able to draw from him…yes, this was going to work out more than just nicely.