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K/DA Chat Fuckery

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Ahri: This meeting suuuuuuck

Ahri: Everyone is so borrriiiiing

Ahri: I’m borreeed

Ahri: Bored out of my mind

Ahri: It’s just money talk and i really don’t care

Ahri: Super bored

Ahri: How long does a guy need to take in order to promote his stupid gummy bear vitamin?

Ahri: I’m going to tell him no anyways and he’s not getting it

Ahri: I’m bored

Ahri: Halp

Ahri: This guy won’t stop talking

Ahri: The meeting was suppose to be done like 20 mins ago but dis dude thinks he’s hot shit

Ahri: Speaking of hot shit

Ahri: I have such a craving for hot cheetos

Ahri: I want my tongue burning

Ahri: I’m also bored

Ahri: like he’s still talkin

Ahri: He’s trying to pull out contracts

Ahri: lmfao

Ahri: he gave me a pen so i can sign his stupid contract but damn bitch

Ahri: i ain’t taking your so call sleeping vitamins

Ahri: i am drug free

Ahri: my body is free of chemicals

Ahri: and he’s still talkin

Ahri: damn he is relentless

Ahri: i mean

Ahri: i know i more bootyful than eve but damn

Ahri: can i fucking leave?

Ahri: my life is woe

Ahri: i wish i was shopping

Ahri: That would be nice

Ahri: We all need new clothes

Ahri: no shade girls

Ahri: Especially eve

Ahri: i’m getting tired of your ugly ass

Ahri: wear something fucking bright for once

Ahri: I’m pretty sure you give kai’sa depression just by looking at you, bitch

Ahri: HE IS STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME SIGN HIS DAMN CONTRACT

Ahri: I JUST WANNNA LEEEAVVVEE

Ahri: I fucking told him no

Ahri: My agent told him no

Ahri: god told him no

Ahri: the universe told him no

Ahri: Yo do i need to drag amaterasu into this too or something??

Ahri: or great grand daddy fox god or something??

Ahri: uuugh

Ahri: okay i think he gets it

Ahri: i think

Ahri: he gave me a dirty look

Ahri: damn he salty

Ahri: lmfao

Ahri: he really salty af

Ahri: NO ONE WANTS YOUR GUMMY BEARS, BOO!!!

Ahri: it’s just sugar and toxic stuff

Ahri: i can smell the shit out of those ‘vitamins’

Ahri: lmfao

Ahri: sigh

Ahri: are you guys still busy?

Ahri: I’m bored again

Ahri: Imma shop online

Ahri: imma get you guy some new clothes

Ahri: yo stank asses needs it

Ahri: oh wait

Ahri: i found a site with personality quizzes

Ahri: omg lets do it

Ahri: Imma make more tabs so i can do one for each of you

Ahri: guys?

Ahri: GUUUYS??

Ahri: I know damn well that you girls are not that busy

Ahri: Where are you guys?

Ahri: guuuuuuuyyyyyysss??

Ahri: heeewwwwooooo

Ahri: Excuse me

Ahri: helloooo

Ahri: nya!

Ahri: Do a personality quiz with me!

Ahri: sigh

Ahri: @Evelynn

Ahri: @Akali

Ahri: @Kai’sa

Ahri: @Sivir

Ahri: @Sona ??

 

Kai’sa: Omfg ahri…

Kai’sa: Do you ever just take a break from your phone?

 

Ahri: no

Ahri: lolz

 

Evelynn: For fuck sake Ahri

Evelynn: This is why i mute the chat

 

Ahri: you guys muted the chat?!?!?!

 

Akali: yeee

 

Sivir: Yah

 

Kai’sa: Yes

 

Ahri: WOW

Ahri: You guys are no fun

 

Evelynn: You’re crazy

 

Ahri: not as crazy as you

 

Evelynn: True

 

Ahri: You guys should do personality quizzes with me

 

Kai’sa: Why

 

Ahri: bc i am bored

 

Akali: But we aren’t going to be home for a while

 

Ahri: then i post the question and the choices on the chat

Ahri: and you give me answers

 

Sivir: why

 

Ahri: it’ll be fun and im bored.

Ahri: Here’s a quiz

Ahri: ‘What is your Spirit Animal’ quiz.

Ahri: https://www.spiritanimal.info/spirit-animal-quiz/

 

Evelynn: I’m going to ignore you

 

Ahri: I’ll just keep tagging you

Ahri: i’m in the studio on my laptop

Ahri: i got four hours to kill

Ahri: i will tag until you answer

 

Evelynn: I hate that you’re persistent

 

Kai’sa: I don’t really mind

Kai’sa: i could use a break

Kai’sa: i’ve been dancing for 5 hrs

 

Ahri: okay robot that’s insane

 

Akali: it’s her passion

 

Sivir: it’s a great passion

 

Evelynn: I guess she has to keep that ass up somehow

 

Kai’sa: hardy har har

Kai’sa: sorry eve not everyone uses butt implants like u

 

Sivir: oooooooooooooo

 

Akali: hey for the record

Akali: they are real

 

Kai’sa: that’s what she wants you to think

 

Evelynn: they are real, u little shit

Evelynn: 100% real

 

Kai’sa: real like your jewelry?

 

Ahri: OH SNAP KAI’SA WENT THERE!!

 

Sivir: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

Evelynn: At least I paid for it

Evelynn: i don’t get daddy to pay for my hair extensions

 

Ahri: OOOOO RIGHT BACK!!!

 

Kai’sa: At least I have a Dad.

 

Ahri: ...

Ahri: ow

 

Sivir: ooooohhhh

 

Akali: ooooofff

 

Evelynn: low blow kai’sa

 

Kai’sa: Don’t come for my ass, Eve

 

Evelynn: I don’t need to cum for your ass

 

Kai’sa: oh right that’s what akali is for

Kai’sa: that explains why you’re so desperate for my ass bc akali can’t make you cum

 

Sivir : alksdgjlkdjgksjd;fkjg;zjoivmcgsehiou

Sivir: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!

 

Ahri: LMFAAOOOOOOO

 

Akali: Okay damn

Akali: That hurt but also hurt really good

 

Evelynn: Bitch who said about akali making me cum

Evelynn: I do all the hard work

Evelynn: and make her cum

Evelynn: and give akali that nice sex glow

Evelynn: i make her glow brighter than your streaky forehead

Evelynn: i guess sivir doesn’t know how to brighten her own queen

Evelynn: Can’t relate

 

Sivir: okay wow damn

 

Ahri: lmfao lmfao

Ahri: damn this is getting good!!

 

Akali: oh shit oh shit!!

 

Kai’sa: you’re right i don’t glow brighter than akali

Kai’sa: bc i am too busy admiring at Sivir’s six pack in bed

Kai’sa: and her abdominal v waist that curves so nice and sharp

Kai’sa: it could cut me eve

Kai’sa: the only thing akali could cut you with is her crooked eyeliner

 

Ahri: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ahri: KAI’SA DAMN

Ahri: KAI’SA

Ahri: AHHHHHHH MORE FIGHTING!!!

 

Sivir: Suck on that Akali

 

Akali: Shut up pharah replacement

 

Sivir: at least i accept that

 

Evelynn: Bigger isn’t always better, Kai’sa

Evelynn: Akali could beat down Sivir

Evelynn: she knows how to turn her enemies’ strength over

Evelynn: Sivir could barely balance on a scooter

Evelynn: Akali can easily tip her over

 

Sivir: i fell off my *MOTORCYCLE* one time

 

Akali: You drove over a fucking pebble and lost control

Akali: You went flying

 

Sivir: my hands slipped

 

Evelynn: oh look

Evelynn: Sivir gives more action to her scooter than you, Kai’sa

 

Ahri: jhbsgkjhzdflkgdzkgjfkdhlk

Ahri: POUR MORE TEA!!

 

Kai’sa: at least sivir can ride a motorcycle and take me on rides

Kai’sa: The best that Akali can do is putt putt along on a skateboard

 

Akali: I AM LEARNING!

 

Evelynn: I can drive my own woman, thank you very much.

 

Kai’sa: oh no did i offend your fragile ego?

 

Evelynn: No, I patched it up with your brittle pride

 

Ahri: I AM LIVING FOR THIS!!!

 

Sivir: Should we stop them?

 

Akali: Yeah this might get out of hands…

 

Kai’sa: Eve is about to catch these hands

 

Evelynn: I hope you’re ready to get your ass whupped

 

Ahri: okay stop stop

Ahri: no more fighting

Ahri: lets take a nice fun quiz and rekindle our friendship

 

Kai’sa: Or whatever is left of it

 

Evelynn: Yeah, whatever is left with your receding hairline

Evelynn: Watch out hunny

Evelynn: those hair buns are only pulling that hairline back

 

Sivir: ooooooooh noo….

 

Akali: i’m scared

 

Kai’sa: Keep pulling back your eyes when you put on eyeliner and those crows feet will start deepening

Kai’sa: caw caw bitch let me nest right into them

Kai’sa: No amount of botox will ever make those eye wrinkles fade

 

Ahri: OH SHIT OH SHIT!!

Ahri: KAI’SA HAS NO CHILL!!!

 

Sivir: kjsdfkahdkfgj

 

Akali: ilajfhlakshdklfhgldkshgkdjghadjhfgkskj

Akali: I think someone might die tonight.

 

Evelynn: Yeah

Evelynn: Kai’sa’s fucking career

 

Sivir: ...

 

Akali: ...

 

Kai’sa: oh you little fucking bitch

 

Ahri: OKAY OKAY

Ahri: Why don’t I just do the quiz???

 

Sivir: PLEASE DO, AHRI!

 

Akali: YEAH QUIZ!

Akali: it’ll be fun

Akali: Right babe??

 

Evelynn: Fine.

 

Sivir: You’ll do it too, right babe?

 

Kai’sa: Fine

 

Ahri: Okie okie

Ahri: First question of the “What is my Spirit animal?” quiz

Ahri: What is your favorite natural element?

Ahri: Air, Earth, Fire, Water, Wood, Space

 

Evelynn: Fire bc i am about to burn Kai’sa down

 

Kai’sa: Earth bc i will drag Evelynn to the fucking dirt.

 

Ahri: ...okay

 

Sivir: Oh boy

 

Akali: Oh my kami, pls protect us

 

Ahri: Question 2

Ahri: Do you feel at peace with yourself all the time?

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Evelynn: Very Inacc-fucking-rate

 

Kai’sa: Likewise.

 

Ahri: Question 3

Ahri: I tend to be more "down-to-earth" than "head-in-the-clouds."”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Evelynn: I shall put fairly accurate

 

Kai’sa: I disagree with your airhead but put the same for me

 

Evelynn: Wow so funny, Kai’sa

Evelynn: Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

Akali: haha…

 

Sivir: hehe…??

 

Ahri: Question 4

Ahri: “I find it easy to approach others.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Evelynn: Oh I fucking demand

 

Akali: WITH KINDNESS

 

Kai’sa: I can hear your fake ass cheeks clapping whenever you stomp in my direction

 

Sivir: WHICH IS HELPFUL TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARRIVE!

 

Evelynn: oh good, glad i make my presence known

Evelynn: *eye rolls*

 

Ahri: Question 4

Ahri: I frequently do things without a specific schedule or plan.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Kai’sa: We all know Evelynn barely gets her morning routine together.

Kai’sa: Or her life

 

Evelynn: I like to be spontaneous, you strict timekeeper

 

Kai’sa: Having a routine is nice so you’re not a complete mess all the time

 

Evelynn: Thanks, no one asked your opinion

 

Akali: Wow don’t we all love each other?

 

Sivir: We are like one big happy family!

 

Ahri: Okay…

Ahri: QUESTION 5

Ahri: The typical, ordinary way feels like a betrayal of myself.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Kai’sa: Evelynn can’t be a fucking normal person and clean up her shit.

 

Evelynn: Leave my shit alone and leave me be.

 

Kai’sa: Gladly, your shit stinks.

 

Evelynn: Fuck you.

 

Sivir: Hahahahahahaha so funny

 

Akali: so funny girls!!

 

Ahri: I’ll just answer for you two

Ahri: QUESTION 6

Ahri: I frequently come up with ideas or solutions out of nowhere.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Kai’sa: Very accurate

 

Evelynn: Very accurate

Evelynn: I hope you solved how to fix your ending career.

 

Kai’sa: Oh, I got plans to tear yours apart.

 

Sivir: so we can bring ourselves back up!

 

Akali: bc best friends got each other’s back!!

 

Kai’sa: By stabbing

 

Evelynn: Oh you got that right.

 

Ahri: QUESTION 7

 

Sivir: READ THE MOOD AHRI!

 

Akali: THIS IS GETTING BAD.

 

Ahri: “The more useful I am to others, the happier I am.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Evelynn: Oh Kai’sa is very fucking useful

Evelynn: She gives great fucking advice

Evelynn: If I want to end my career, I’ll listen to her

 

Kai’sa: If I need tips to whore myself out

Kai’sa: i’ll ask you

 

Evelynn: Oh perfect.

 

Akali: Sivir i am so sorry

 

Sivir: i am too, man

 

Ahri: QUESTION 8

Ahri: “I spend a lot of time observing before I act.”

Ahri: Very Accurate, Fairly Accurate, Somewhat Inaccurate, Very Inaccurate

 

Kai’sa: EVELYNN WOULD KNOW NOTHING ON THIS!!

 

Evelynn: BITCH I THINK BEFORE I ACT

 

Kai’sa: DID YOU THINK BEFORE EATING THOSE MISSING MEN??!!

Kai’sa: YOU SHE-DEVIL LITTLE GREMLIN!!!

 

Evelynn: FUCK YOU!!!

Evelynn: YOU DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE MEN!!!

Evelynn: THAT’S IN THE PAST AND I’VE MOVED ON!

 

Kai’sa: YEAH YOU MOVED ON BUT YOU LEFT YOUR CAREER!!

 

Evelynn: YOU DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A CAREER BEFORE AHRI AND I BASICALLY HANDED IT TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER!!

 

Kai’sa: I WAS DOING FINE BEFORE YOU TWO CAME!!

 

Evelynn: YEAH HIDING UNDER DADDY’S WINGS IS A GREAT CAREER!!

 

Kai’sa: FUCK YOU!!!!!!

 

Sivir: AKALI JUST KNOW YOU’RE MY HOMIE NO MATTER WHAT!

 

Akali: I KNOW MAN!

 

Ahri: QUESTION 9

 

Sivir: WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS STUPID QUIZ!!!???

 

Akali: CAN’T YOU SEE THEY’RE FIGHTING EVEN MORE??

 

Ahri: SHUT UP THIS IS TEA AND I AM SPILLING IT!!

Ahri: “How would you spend your free time?”

Ahri: Take a hike

Ahri: arts and craft

Ahri: video games and movies

Ahri: Hanging with friends

Ahri: reading a book

 

Kai’sa: EVE SURE LIKES TO CLOCK MY ASS!

 

Evelyn: KAI’SA SURE THINKS SHE GOT IT EASY!!!

 

Kai’sa: YOU’RE JUST A RICH SPOILED BRAT!!

 

Evelynn: AND YOU HAVE DADDY ISSUES!!!!

 

Ahri: I’ll put hiking for Kai’sa and going out with friends for Eve

 

Sivir: HOW ABOUT MENDING THE BREAKING POINT???

 

Akali PWEASE DON’T FIGHT GIRLS!

 

Ahri: WOW!

Ahri: Kai’sa got a deer

Ahri: and Evelynn got a Tiger

 

Evelynn: I WILL TEAR YOU APART KAI’SA!!!

 

Kai’sa: BITCH TRY ME

Kai’sa: LETS SEE THOSE FAKE ASS CHEEKS CLAP!!!

 

Evelynn: SHUT UP

Evelynn:  I WILL RUIN YOUR JAWLINE WITH MY FIST!!

 

Kai’sa: BITCH DON’T BREAK A NAIL OR I WILL TEAR THEM OFF!!

 

Akali: HEY DON’T WE ALL LOVE EACH OTHER???

 

Sivir: YEAH AREN’T WE CLOSE FRIENDS??

 

Ahri: imma nap

 

Akali: NSKDGHLKDHGBKLSDHJ

Akali: AHRI?!?!?!?

 

Sivir: YOU CAN’T FUCKING BAIL, AHRI!!

 

Ahri: I sleepy

 

Evelynn: CATCH ME OUTSIDE, KAI’SA, HOW ABOUT THAT!!??

 

Kai’sa: GLADLY!!!

Kai’sa: I WILL FUCKING DRAG YOU ACROSS KOREA!!

 

Sivir: How about we drag on a nice couch?

 

Akali: Watch a nice movie?

 

Sivir: Cuddle with us?

 

Akali: and we’re all friends??

 

Kai’sa: 5 MINUTES EVE!

 

Evelynn: TURN ON YOUR FUCKING LOCATIONS KAI’HOE!!!

 

Kai’sa: FUCK YOU

Kai’sa: GIVE ME A SECOND!

 

Evelynn: TAKE YOUR DAMN TIME

 

Kai’sa: THANK YOU!

 

Evelynn: YOU’RE WELCOME!!

 

Ahri: THE GUMMY BEAR GUY IS BACK!!!

Ahri: HE STILL WANTS ME TO SIGN THAT FUCKING CONTRACT!!

 

Sivir: WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS!!!

 

Akali: LIKE EVE AND KAI’SA!!!??

 

Ahri: THEY’LL FIGHT IT OUT AND RECONCILE DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM

Ahri: I GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS!!!

 

Sivir: NO YOU DON’T!!

 

Akali: HELP US STOP EVE AND KAI’SA!!

 

Ahri: HELP ME GET AWAY FROM GUMMY BEAR GUY!!

 

Sivir: JUST SAY NO!

 

Ahri: I DID AND HE’S STILL PERSISTENT!!

 

Kai’sa: TURNED MY LOCATIONS ON, BITCH!!

 

Evelynn: PERFECT THANKS

 

Kai’sa: NO PROBLEM

Kai’sa: NOW BE READY TO DIE!

 

Evelynn: GLADLY!

 

Sivir: PLEASE DON’T FIGHT YOU TWO!!

 

Akali: LETS BE FRIENDS!!!

 

Ahri: GUMMY BEAR GUY IS STILL IN THE BUILDINGGGG

Ahri: I REPEAT

Ahri: HE IS STILL IN THE BUILDING!!

 

Sivir: YOUR PROBLEM DOESN’T REALLY MATTER RIGHT NOW!!!

 

Ahri: IT DOES TO MEEEE

 

Akali: alsjflsjg

Akali: HOW COME WHEN THE PROBLEM IS WITH KAI’SA AND EVE, YOU’RE STILL SOMEHOW MAKING THE PROBLEM WORSE??

 

Ahri: IT’S MY TALENT

Ahri: NOW HELP ME PLWEASE!!    

 

Sivir: TAKE CARE OF IT YOURSELF

Sivir: WE GOT TO STOP OUR GIRLFRIENDS

 

Ahri: TRAITORS!!!!!

 

Akali: WE’RE BEING GOOD GIRLFRIENDS!!!

 

Ahri: I AM THE LEADER!

 

Sivir: A SHITTY ONE!

 

Ahri: RUUUUUDE!!!

 

XXX

 

Sona:

Sona: Ya’ll funny af, lmfao

 

XXX

 

Ahri: Hi

 

Sivir: Where have you been?

 

Ahri: Unconscious

 

Akali: Nani the fuck?

 

Ahri: It’s not morbid as it sounds

Ahri: I was running away from the gummy bear contractor

Ahri: And I ran right into a wall

Ahri: Knocked myself out

 

Akali: I fucking snorted lmfao

 

Sivir: How are you still alive at this point?

Sivir: With Eve wanting to kill you

Sivir: And you running recklessly in the studio

 

Ahri: I have no fucking clue

Ahri: But apparently when i was knocked out

Ahri: The gummy bear man signed the contract with my hand

Ahri: So now i have to promote the gummy bears on my insta

 

Sivir: Um…

Sivir: That sounds illegal…

 

Ahri: It probably is

Ahri: But my head hurts and i don’t want to deal with legal stuff

Ahri: I was thinking of dropping it on Eve’s lap and have her fight for me

Ahri: So how are kai’sa and eve?

 

Akali: Reconciled

Akali: asleep in our arms

Akali: while we all group cuddle on the couch

 

Ahri: So they didn’t fight?

 

Sivir: Oh they did

Sivir: Eve has a black eye and some minor burns

Sivir: Kai’sa has a busted lip and a twisted ankle

Sivir: But otherwise they are fine

 

Ahri: So what made them stop fighting?

 

Akali: They saw that they were wearing the same bra and stopped mid fight to fangirl over it

 

Ahri:

Ahri: Are you joking?

 

Sivir: Nope

Sivir: Kai’sa blasted at Evelynn with her parasites

Sivir: Burning a part of Eve’s shirt

Sivir: Saw the bra she was wearing

Sivir: Then gushed to Eve how she’s wearing the same bra

 

Akali: Then they made up.

 

Ahri:

Ahri: GREAT SO WE’RE ALL FRIENDS??

 

Sivir: Yeah

 

Ahri: PERFEEECCT!

Ahri: Now wake Eve up so she can come pick me up from the studio.

 

Akali: I really don’t want to wake her up…

 

Ahri: Wake the hoe up

 

Akali: No

 

Ahri: I don’t want to call a cab…

 

Sivir: Then don’t go running into walls next time

 

Ahri: ah screw you…

Ahri: I’ll just turn into a fox and run home

 

Akali: Have fun with that.

 

Ahri: thanks…

 

Kai’sa: Did any of you guys see what Sona texted?!

 

Sivir: Holy shit

 

Akali: How did we miss that?

 

Ahri: OH MY FOX!

 

Evelynn: @Sona

 

Sona: :)

Sona: ヾ(^∇^)

 

Ahri: GET BACK HERE!

Ahri: DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE!!

 

Evelynn: SONA!

 

Sona Buvelle has left group chat “K/DA”

 

Akali:

 

Sivir:

Sivir: damn

Sivir: what a powermove

 

Kai’sa:

 

Evelynn:

Evelynn: That little hoe…

 

Ahri: SONA WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

Ahri: HOW FUCKING OVERDRAMATIC CAN SHE GET??????!!!!

Ahri: THAT BITCH IS GOING TO GET IT FROM ME!!!