Akali : I’m bored
Akali : Is anybody around?
Kai’sa : I’m sorry
Kai’sa : Excuse me?
Kai’sa : Where the fuck have you been?
Akali : Chilling in my room.
Kai’sa : You’ve been home this entire time????
Akali : Yep
Kai’sa : While I have been spending the last four hours trying to get my dad to not kill Sivir??
Akali : Yep
Kai’sa: AND YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HELPING???
Sivir : You fucking asshole.
Akali: I got sleepy and took a nap.
Sivir : I’VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND THIS FUCKING CITY TO AVOID BEING FUCKING MURDERED BY KASSADIN!!!
Akali : Yikes.
Akali : Sounds rough, buddy.
Sivir : I AM GOING TO KILL YOU NEXT AFTER KASSADIN KILLS ME AND I RISE FROM THE DEAD!
Akali : Would you be a zombie?
Sivir : WHO CARES!!!??
Akali : I do!
Akali: It’s a legitimate question!
Sivir : I HAVE A LEGITIMATE QUESTION!
Sivir : FUCK YOU!
Akali: That’s not a question.
Sivir: YOU GET THE POINT!
Akali : I don’t though.
Kai’sa : Just drop it…
Kai’sa: Enough fighting.
Kai’sa: I just calmed my dad down…
Sivir: So am I safe?
Kai’sa: I would sleep with a knife under your pillow for a few nights.
Sivir: I do that all the time.
Akali: That’s dangerous.
Akali : What if you forget the knife and accidentally cut yourself?
Sivir : Can’t be as bad as the time when that snake bitch stabbed me in the back.
Kai’sa :You really hate that woman, huh?
Sivir : I’m usually not about wearing furs, but I would wear snake leather to get back at that bitch.
Akali : Cold…
Sivir: Would you easily forgive someone who stabbed you in the back?
Akali: I would kill them.
Sivir: I wish I did that to that snake whore.
Kai’sa: Okay stop talking about killing and death.
Akali: We’re bonding.
Kai’sa: Can’t you two bond over something else?
Sivir : Yo Akali
Sivir : You tap Eve’s ass yet?
Kai’sa: Oh my god…
Akali: No not yet…
Kai’sa : Wait really???
Kai’sa : But you’ve been in her room many times??
Akali : Yeah, we watch movies or I teach her how to play video games.
Sivir : You haven’t tapped the succubus????
Akali: We are taking it slow…
Kai’sa : Honestly, ngl…
Kai’sa : I’m surprised you two haven’t done it yet
Kai’sa : But at the same time, it really shows Eve in a different light…
Evelynn : I am a gentlewoman and I respect Akali.
Evelynn : I am willing to wait for a long time for the moment where we can consummate our love at Akali’s permission.
Evelynn : Akali~~~
Kai’sa : Oh hey where the fuck have you been?
Kai’sa : Oh don’t mind me
Kai’sa : I’ve been spending the last fucking four hours getting my dad to not kill Sivir!
Evelynn : Cool story, sis
Evelynn : Glad it seem to have worked out.
Akali : I miss you, Eve.
Evelynn : I miss you too, Akali~
Kai’sa: Are you not at home??
Evelynn : Yes.
Kai’sa : So...did you go off to do something else while I was trying to prevent a murder scene?
Evelynn : Yes.
Kai’sa : Why did you not help me??
Evelynn : You never asked.
Kai’sa : I’m going to fucking murder you.
Sivir : Fuck you’re so hot when you’re angry.
Kai’sa : Not the time, Sivir.
Sivir : Yes ma'am!
Evelynn : I mean...all you had to do was ask me to help you with your dad.
𝕂𝕒𝕚'𝕤𝕒 :𝕀 𝔸𝕄 𝕊𝕆 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝔻𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕐𝕆𝕌!!!!
𝕂𝕒𝕚'𝕤𝕒 : 𝕀 𝕊𝕎𝔼𝔸ℝ 𝕋𝕆 𝔾𝕆𝔻
𝕂𝕒𝕚'𝕤𝕒 : 𝕂/𝔻𝔸 𝕀𝕊 𝔾𝕆𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕋𝕆 𝔹𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝔻𝔼𝔸𝕋ℍ 𝕆𝔽 𝕄𝔼!!
Akali : Oh cool! You can do it too!
Sivir : Damn
Sivir : So hot
𝕂𝕒𝕚'𝕤𝕒 : ℍ𝕦𝕙...𝕀 𝕕𝕚𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕀 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕕𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤…
Sivir : I learn new things about you~~
Kai’sa : Sivir~~
Sivir : Kai’sa~~~
Evelynn: Your mood swings are terrifying….
Kai’sa : Your sex life scares me.
Evelynn : True.
Evelynn : I’ve done some questionable acts in bed.
Sivir: What’s the one you regret the most?
Evelynn : Everything with Twisted Fate
Kai’sa : Figures…
Akali : Totally changing the topic but I just got a call from Ahri.
Akali: She asked us to get her released from the pound?
Kai’sa : Pound as in…
Kai’sa : The shelter??
Sivir: Where they keep stray animals??
Evelynn : Oh, so that’s where she ended up.
Kai’sa : What the fuck did you two do in the past four hours??
Sona : ヾ(￣ー￣(≧ω≦*)ゝヾ(￣◇￣)ノ
Kai’sa : Ah…??
Evelynn : Oh there you are Sona.
Evelynn : I guess Ahri got picked up by animal control.
Kai’sa : Care to explain what happened???
Evelynn: Sona, Ahri, and I went out to bond since we haven’t hung out in so long.
Evelynn: And Ahri turned into a fox and played fetch with us
Evelynn : Then somehow we lost her and now she’s in the pound.
Sivir : That escalated quickly…
Akali : Glad you seem to be having fun, Eve!
Evelynn : I would rather be home with you than be playing fetch with Ahri…
Evelynn : Okay but you’re fine Sona.
Evelynn : You know I don’t mind hanging out with you.
Sona : ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉﾟ
Kai’sa : So...are we going to get Ahri or not?
Evelynn : Do we have too…?
Evelynn : Yeah yeah...I know
Evelynn : I guess I should go do the right thing…
Kai’sa : You guess??
Evelynn: When you have known that stinky fox your whole life, you’ll understand my hesitation.
Ahri : YOU KNOW I CAN SEE THE CHAT!!
Evelynn: That’s the point!
Ahri : GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
Kai’sa :How did you end up in the pound!!!??
Ahri: I was playing fetch with Sona and Eve!
Ahri : Then as usual, Eve had to fucking show off her ego
Ahri : And threw the ball so far that I got lost in the mountains
Ahri: And then I somehow I ended up being taken away by animal control
Ahri : And I’m stuck in the pound…
Sivir : …
Sivir : How does this escalate so fast?
Akali : Are they not going to let you out since you’re human now???
Ahri : This isn’t the first time this has happen…
Ahri : Long story short...they won’t let me out unless someone comes and get me...
Kai’sa : For fuck sake…
Evelynn : You should have been around the time Ahri was stuck in the pound for a month and missed a lot of her tour dates back when she was a teenage pop star idol.
Ahri :That really sucked…
Ahri : No, Sona….
Ahri : I refuse to have a chip put into my body!!
Evelynn : It would be so much easier to find you.
Ahri : HEY LESS TALKING AND GET ME OUT OF THE POUND!!!
Kai’sa : Can we leave her in there?
Evelynn : You think I haven’t tried that?
Sivir : What’s the longest she’s been stuck in the pound?
Evelynn : Ooh….
Evelynn : A year?
Evelynn : Right, Ahri?
Ahri : Yep!
Ahri : The longest was when I was born as a kit until about one years old
Ahri : When they discovered I can turn into a human, I was released to a foster home.
Kai’sa :Oh my god…
Kai’sa : You were an orphan?
Ahri : Yep!
Kai’sa : I’m sorry.
Akali : I’m so sorry.
Ahri : Don’t be!
Ahri : I would have never been discovered if that talent agent didn’t happen to visit the foster home and see me.
Evelynn : Then that fucking talent scout had Riot recruit Ahri to the idol training to specifically ruin my life.
Ahri : We’ve been best fwiends ever sinceeee
Sona : (❁´ω`❁)
Evelynn : It has been hell ever since.
Ahri : Noooo you wuv meeeee
Evelynn : Debatable.
Ahri : I wuv you eeevvvveee
Evelynn : Fuck off.
Ahri : Nyo~~~
Akali : This is the weirdest therapy session…
Kai’sa : As someone that has had multiple therapy sessions, I agree.
Sivir : We all have some kind of fuck up in our lives.
Sivir : I was stabbed.
Ahri : I don’t know my parents.
Kai’sa : I was trapped in a cave for weeks and now have parasites that follow me around.
Akali : I had a really bad emo phase.
Sona : ಥ_ಥ
Evelynn : Can you guys lighten up?
Kai’sa : I’m happy to have been trapped in a cave for weeks and have parasites latch on to me??
Akali : My emo phase was the best years of my life.
Sivir : I’m happy that Cassiopeia got turned into a snake woman after betraying me.
Ahri : I’m happy to have met Eve!
Sona : (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*
Evelynn : Hm…
Evelynn : Close enough…
Ahri : Can you guys let me out?
Evelynn : No.
Ahri : Pwease?
Kai’sa : Come on, Eve.
Kai’sa : You’re the only one out of all of us that can drive.
Evelynn : Go to the DMV and get your driver’s license, Kai’sa.
Evelynn : :)
Kai’sa : Yeah, after I try to put a restraining order on my dad so he doesn’t kill Sivir...
Evelynn : That’s the spirit!
Kai’sa : I was being sarcastic.
Sivir : But...can I have that restraining order?
Kai’sa : Just give me a few days and I can talk my dad out of killing you.
Ahri : How about letting me out first?
Sivir : My life is more important.
Ahri : I beg to differ.
Evelynn : Everyone’s lives are more important than yours, Ahri.
Ahri : And everyone’s lives are better off without them knowing you’ve had at least five dicks inside you at the same time but go off I guess.
Kai’sa : I really didn’t need to know that…
Akali : Oh my…
Sivir : Oh my ra….
Evelynn : That was a crazy night.
Sona : ＼| ￣ヘ￣|／
Evelynn : Don’t knock it until you try it.
Akali : You had five dicks inside you…???
Evelynn : Not in the same place.
Akali : Oh that makes more sense.
Sivir : Oh thank Anubis….
Kai’sa : Can we stop?
Kai’sa : I don’t want to know more about Evelynn’s past sex life….
Akali :I kinda do…
Ahri : Your heart isn’t ready for it, trust me.
Evelynn : Oh my god, Ahri…
Evelynn :I do one nipple piercing and you think I’m too extreme.
Ahri : UUUGHHHH THAT JUST MAKES MY TAILS CUUURRRLLL!!!
Akali : Kinky…
Kai’sa : oh no…
Sivir : She’s learning new things...
Evelynn : I don’t mind doing it again for you, Kali~
Akali : Eeee~~~~
Evelynn : Darling~~~
Kai’sa : Hey
Kai’sa : Remember when Akali was the innocent one of the group?
Kai’sa : What happened???
Akali : Love changed me.
Evelynn : For the better~
Ahri : For the worse.
Evelynn : Fuck off
Ahri : You fuck off!
Evelynn : I fuck you first!
Ahri : I fuck you second!
Sivir : What?
Evelynn : I don’t know what happened there.
Ahri : LMFAOO
Akali : Are you sure you two didn’t fuck each other??
Akali : Like I won’t judge if you two did.
Evelynn : I assure you that I would rather suck Twisted Fate’s dick again than sleep with Ahri.
Ahri : I would rather sleep on a bed of nails than share a bed with Evelynn.
Kai’sa : I really don’t understand you two’s relationship…
Sona : 乁| ･ 〰 ･ |ㄏ
Sivir : So I take it that even you don’t understand?
Sona : ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Ahri : We are just best friends!
Evelynn : Yeah sure.
Kai’sa : Oh come on, Eve
Kai’sa : You like Ahri a little bit?
Sivir : I don’t think you would be in K/DA if you actually hated Ahri.
Evelynn : I tolerate her.
Ahri : I wuv you!!
Evelynn : Ew.
Ahri : Fuck you.
Evelynn : Fuck you.
Ahri : Fuck me yourself, you little bitch.
Ahri : Aw shit!!
Evelynn : HAHA
Kai’sa : Lmfao
Evelynn : Okay but no joke
Evelynn : That line was often said to me by people that disliked me before I slept with them.
Sivir : Do you not have a limit?
Sivir : Or pple you would never have sex with?
Evelynn : Twisted Fate.
Akali : That seems clear enough.
Evelynn : I hate that man.
Ahri : You weren’t complaining when he was balls deep in you.
Sivir: Oh shit!!!!
Kai’sa: Okay, damn….
Sona: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Evelynn : Shut the fuck up, Ahri.
Ahri : Niew!
Evelynn : Stay in the pound.
Ahri : Noooo let me out!
Evelynn : Stay in there forever.
Ahri : Bitch I’ll break out and fucking fight you.
Kai’sa: Then...break out….
Evelynn : You know damn well I can beat you.
Ahri : You know I broke your hips before, I can do it again.
Evelynn : I broke your ribs and I can do that again.
Akali : How are you two not dead??
Evelynn : I still wonder that…
Ahri : But like I can easily kill Eve if I tried.
Kai’sa : Please don’t…
Evelynn : Ahri, you can’t fucking kill me.
Ahri : I can try.
Sivir : How about no?
Evelynn : How about yes?
Kai’sa : How about we get Ahri out of the pound?
Evelynn : No.
Akali : How about we talk about that nipple piercing?
Evelynn : We can do my other nipple.
Ahri : Can one of you guys bail me out??
Akali : But...nipple piercing
Akali : That’s so hot.
Ahri : Dear god no…
Evelynn : Hater.
Ahri : Whoregasm
Evelynn : Mutt.
Ahri : Tentacle slut
Evelynn : Little shit
Kai’sa : My god you two are like bitching school girls that need to show off how popular you are…
Sivir : That is way too accurate…
Akali : Okay but like
Akali : Nipple piercing.
𝕂𝕒𝕚'𝕤𝕒 : 𝕎ℍ𝔸𝕋 𝕀𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔸ℕ𝔻 ℕ𝕀ℙℙ𝕃𝔼 ℙ𝕀𝔼ℝℂ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕊??!!!
Evelynn : Holy shit you can do it too
Ahri : Congrats!!
Akali: Nipple piercing is just so fucking cool.
Akali: Like I can’t explain it…
Akali: Seeing nipple piercings makes me feel weird and happy.
Sivir: Dude...I think you just found your first fetish…
Ahri: WHAT HAPPEN TO OUR INNOCENT MAKNAE!!!???
Kai’sa: It’s all Evelynn’s fault.
Sona: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
Evelynn: Oh shut up Sona…
Akali: I so excited
Kai’sa: RIP Akali-before-Evelynn
Kai’sa: You shall be missed.
Sivir: I miss that ninja dork that dropped her phone on top of a ferris wheel.
Ahri: I miss when she was too dumb to realize Eve’s feelings.
Evelynn: You guys are so fucking supportive
Evelynn: wow you insensitive fucks.
Kai’sa: You ruined Akali.
Akali: You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.
Kai’sa: You use to be so pure.
Evelynn: This is coming from the girl that couldn’t look Sivir in the eye
Evelynn: Could barely talk to Sivir
Evelynn: And now she has bite marks on her ass
Kai’sa: Fuck you.
Ahri: While I’m glad we are letting out our emotions!
Ahri: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME OUT!???
Evelynn: Read the next text carefully.
Kai’sa: Please Eve, you’re the only one that can drive.
Evelynn: Doesn’t Sivir ride a scooter??
Sivir: OH GEE I DID HUH???
Sivir: BUT HEY YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY??
Sivir: KAI’SA’S AMAZING AND SWEET FATHER BROKE IT SO I CAN’T USE IT!!!
Evelynn: That’s rough, sis
Sivir: Fuck you.
Kai’sa: I promise to buy you a new one.
Sivir: I don’t want you to buy me things.
Sivir: I just want your ass without fearing for my life.
Akali: You have very low standards…
Sivir: Hey fuck you
Sivir: Go back to your fetish awakening.
Akali: Maybe I will!!
Ahri: MAYBE SOMEONE TRIES TO GET ME OUT???
Ahri: OH COME ON!!!
Ahri: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO IGNORE ME SONA!!!
Ahri: God damn it…
Evelynn: Sucks to be you.
Ahri: FAAAACK YOUOOOOOO
Sivir: You have a lot of anger and affection towards Eve…
Ahri: It’s called friendship.
Kai’sa: Yeah no…
Evelynn: She just has a lot of energy pent up.
Evelynn: Probably bc she hasn’t gotten laid in a while
Sivir: Then...she should go get laid…
Ahri: No. That’s not true at all!
Ahri: I’m a classy fox!
Ahri: I am elegant!
Ahri: I am a different Ahri from 5 years ago!
Kai’sa: What does that have to do with getting laid??
Akali: Maybe she’s bad at sex and doesn’t want to admit it?
Ahri: I’m actually great in bed, thank you very much.
Evelynn: I highly doubt that.
Ahri: Bitch you never slept with me so fuck off your judgemental ass.
Evelynn: Bitch I slept with pple that slept with you
Evelynn: They say I’m better
Ahri: WELL FUCKING EXCUSE ME THAT I AM NOT A FUCKING SUCCUBUS THAT FUCKING MAJORS IN SEXOLOGY!!!!!!!
Sivir: It’s like comparing yourself to a porn star.
Evelynn: Bitch I’m classier than porn stars.
Kai’sa: What is this conversation anymore….???
Akali: This is normal for us at this point.
Ahri: Look at how close we’ve gotten over the past few months~~
Kai’sa: I miss the days when we first met each other…
Evelynn: I don’t.
Sivir: It could be worse
Sivir: We could be all drunk and making even worse decisions.
Kai’sa: At this point, I need to get drunk…
Ahri: You know what?
Ahri: That reminds me of the best hook up I ever had.
Ahri: I went to this party and I got so drunk
Ahri: And I totally ate out this girl
Ahri: Don’t remember the girl but I remember it was the best time of my life.
Ahri: I don’t recommend having sex when drunk though.
Akali: You’re crazy…
Ahri: No, I’m Ahri.
Kai’sa: Sometimes I really worry for you, Ahri.
Ahri: Thanks mom
Evelynn: Hey, that reminds me too!
Evelynn: I remember going to a party
Evelynn: And I got really drunk.
Evelynn: But this girl ate me out but I don’t remember her bc i was so drunk
Evelynn: It was the best hookup ever
Evelynn: Life lesson for everyone, drunk sex is not a good hookup at all and I don’t recommend it.
Ahri: Damn bestie!
Ahri: We even had similar hookup stories lmfao!!
Sona: ヽ( ￣д￣;)ノ
Akali: Would you two remember which party it was?
Evelynn: It was the New Year’s Party at Jinx’s a few years back.
Ahri: The New Year’s Party at Jinx’s.
Evelynn: I didn’t know you know Jinx?
Ahri: I didn’t either?
Ahri: Dude, I wish I known!
Ahri: We could have gone to the party together.
Evelynn: Yeah, maybe you would have stopped me from getting too drunk.
Ahri: You know damn well I would make you do more shots until you passed out back then.
Evelynn: Hahaha, true.
Sivir: Do you two not see it?
Akali: Even I get it…
Evelynn: Get what??
Ahri: Yeah what?
Kai’sa: Your stories kinda fit together…
Evelynn: What do you mean?
Sivir: You got eaten out by a girl
Kai’sa: Ahri ate a girl out.
Akali: You two went to the same party.
Evelynn: Now that I think about it…
Ahri: Oh no…
Evelynn: Oh god
Evelynn: WHAT THE FUCK AHRI!!!!?????
Ahri: DON’T WHAT THE FUCK ME, EVE!!!!
Ahri: I AM JUST AS TRAUMATIZED AS YOU!!!
Evelynn: YOU FUCKING ATE ME OUT!!!
Ahri: YOU FUCKING LET ME EAT YOU OUT!!!
Evelynn: FUCK THIS IS WORSE THAN TWISTED FATE!!
Ahri: OH COME ON!!!
Ahri: I CAN NOT BE BELOW TWISTED FATE!!!
Evelynn: AHRI WE FUCKING HOOKED UP!!
Ahri: YEAH I AM FUCKING AWARE NOW!!
Ahri: Now all the jokes about us not having sex yet are all invalid.
Evelynn: I can not believe this…
Sivir: All of a sudden, Kassadin doesn’t seem so bad now…
Kai’sa: This is the weirdest conversation on this chat by far.
Akali: I feel like a new woman, tbh
Sivir: Oh my ra... you’re still on your fetish awakening….?
Kai’sa: Does it bother you that Ahri and Evelynn found out they did hook up?
Akali: She’s a succubus.
Akali: She has a nipple piercing.
Akali: And she wants me
Akali: Who cares if Eve hooked up with Ahri?
Ahri: I CARE!!!!
Ahri: THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BIRTH OF NEW INSIDE JOKES THAT I CAN USE AGAINST EVE!!
Evelynn: You...you still want me, Kali?
Evelynn: even when Ahri has tainted poor innocent me?
Akali: Yes, of course.
Akali: and your nipple piercing.
Sivir: Oh my god...you’re still on that…
Evelynn: I’m on my way home, kali~
Akali: I’ll be waiting!
Ahri: IF ANYONE ASKS, I WANT TO STAY IN THE POUND FOR A FEW WEEKS!!!
Kai’sa: Stop being dramatic, Sivir and I are on our way on an Uber to bail you out.
Ahri: THANK YOU KAI’SA AND SIVIR!!!!
Ahri: I DIDN’T WANT TO ACTUALLY BE IN THE POUND FOR A FEW WEEKS!!!
Ahri: GET ME OUT SO I CAN START GIVING EVELYNN SHIT!!
Evelynn: FOR FUCK SAKE LET ME FUCKING HAVE 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM YOU!!!!
Ahri: WELL APPARENTLY WE CAN NEVER BE APART EVEN WHEN WE ARE DRUNK!!
Evelynn: Fuck me…
Ahri: I APPARENTLY I ALREADY DID!
Evelynn: FUCK YOU!!!
Ahri: FUCK YOU TOO!!!!
Evelynn: I HATE YOU!
Ahri: THAT’S PROBABLY WHAT YOU WEREN'T THINKING WHEN WE DRUNKENLY HOOKED UP!!!
Evelynn: OH MY FUCKING GOD AHRI!!!
Evelynn: SHUT UP!!
Ahri: NYOOO BITCH!!!
Kai’sa: And just like that...it’s as if nothing changed…
Sona: d (^‿^✿)