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Calamity

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A pair of gray-blue eyes met his and Lucas' monsters shut up for the first time in his life, slowly hiding at the pitch blackness that normally enveloped his soul.

Out of everywhere, anywhere in the world, Lucas Lallemant met the man of his life in the Common Room. He really had to thank the girls for that one. 

He probably could not say what it was that made that boy that special. 

Maybe it was the small and gentle smile that embraced the other boy's lips, maybe it was his cold but fond eyes;


but Lucas had found something in him. 

Something worth running after.


Eliott Demaury.

After many attempts, many searches, many questions--

His name gifted a smile upon Lucas' lips.

Even the memory of the vending machine and the bus stop made his heart beat slightly faster. But with so many things were happening at once, Lucas had absolutely no time to sit down and wonder what it all meant to him.

Another rushed goodbye to the boys and Lucas was alone with his woes again; however, when he glanced up from his phone, eyes of Eliott caught his attention, his heart jumping to his throat, "Fuck, you scared me,"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," Eliott replied with a small grin, throwing a playful look at the younger boy. 

Maybe he hadn't meant to make Lucas' day with his appearance, maybe he hadn't meant to smile a bright grin that warmed Lucas to his bones;

but Eliott had found him, 

A guy that was surprising.


 Hours and hours buried in the smoke of the weed and Eliott's distasteful music choices, Lucas was ready to just spend the rest of his life on that very couch, not caring about the amount of texts or calls on his phone. His friends' worry and Chloe's annoyance did not sound as good as the happy curves of Eliott's lips. 

Yes, Lucas was paying attention to Eliott's lips, sue him. He had broken his wall of hesitance by asking "How would you draw me?" and it was like a broken dam, Lucas' eyes and heart all over Eliott and everything he did.

"Fuck, we have to change the vinyl," murmured Eliott, and it took Lucas a small moment to break out of the warmth and calmness of sitting next to the other boy to open his eyes. For the first time, he felt like he was wearing his heart on his sleeve, his face was like an open book to read and it was full of adoration, full of fondness for the other.

Eliott's eyes, nose, lips, profile, voice--

Maybe it was the smoke that fogged up his senses, maybe it was the calmness that settled down into his body after meeting Eliott.

..."Can I try?" Lucas was not to one to hide his music taste from anyone, but he was rusty, years and years since his fingers last touched a piano; Eliott brought the courage in him and he plays, pushes the keys with intent, with passion, with a need to be heard. 

Blue meets blue, Eliott's encouraging smile pushed Lucas for the last notes of the song and Lucas took a deep breath before letting the piano go.

His movements were hesitant as he turned to the older boy,

but Eliott's smile welcomed him. 

"It was amazing."

Lucas believed for a moment that it could happen, maybe this could be his happy ending.

An ending that he earned.


You're surprising, Lucas wants to spit out at Eliott's face. Why did you never mention, why did you not say--

The box in his arms feels heavy, heavy, heavier until the glass hits the ground with a loud sound. The sound echoes in Lucas' head, as if it is not the bottles that ground, but his heart.

The lack of money for rent or food, Chloe's messages, Yann's annoyance becomes the background music for the tragedy that is his life, and he feels his eyes brimming with tears. His throat aches with the urge to scream into the night, as if that would bring Eliott back from the arms of that girl--

--girl, who is she, how long have they been dating, how can...

                     how can Lucas compare...

How can he even compare? His darkness that swallows his whole soul, his friends that do not even know the real Lucas, his family that abandoned him long ago; how can he dare enter Eliott's life?

Maybe it was Lucas that had misunderstood, maybe it was only Lucas who thought they were flirting a little, no? He could clearly remember the moment Eliott turned to him after "How would you draw me?" and the way his soulful eyes wandered around Lucas' face, but maybe Eliott could not hear the heartbeat that was clouding Lucas' senses at that moment, maybe Eliott was just entertaining the idea for a second, only to forget it in the next minute, maybe...

Maybe Lucas was stupid to think this could go anywhere. 

Maybe Lucas' girly demeanour, Lucas' real personality that did not reflect his cool behavior, Lucas' taste in music had turned Eliott off.

Maybe Lucas' forwardness, Lucas' enthusiasm to ditch his friends to spend time with Eliott, Lucas' way of talking had turned Eliott off.

Maybe...

     maybe, Lucas was wrong to think this could go anywhere.

No, Lucas is wrong to think this can go anywhere but right back into his heart; sealed under many bandages that keep the broken pieces together. Hidden from his friends, hidden from his enemies, hidden from his--- Eliott.

The beer that covers the floor seeps into his shoes, but Lucas is still looking at the silhouettes of a girl and the man of his dreams. 

The monsters that lay deep in his soul start to claw their way back up, and every sound disappears for a second time; only to leave its place for loneliness and disappointment.

The hollow feeling engulf his heart and Lucas tries to take a breath to calm down.

Lucas had found something, someone that could bring him the happy ending he wanted;

     but it was never his for him to lose, to love, to keep.