It's late as he walks up the cobble stones and to the front door.
The two men greet each other with a nod as the blond passes through the doorway.
It's not unusual for them to meet like this after hours at Severus's house in
It's also never really spoken about, or acknowledged really, but these visits are always for a reason and Lucius sees it in his friend's tired appearance.
The younger man shows Lucius through to the sitting room, not that Lucius doesn't know the way already, but appreciates the formality regardless.
He gestures for his guest to take a seat on the lesser of the two tatty armchairs.
Nothing in this room ever really changes, the same giant book cases lining the walls are bursting with wizarding and muggle literature, old worn furniture and primitive muggle inventions.
The room almost looks untouched since their last meeting.
"Tea?Lucius?" Severus asks already knowing the answer.
"Of course" he nods as Severus walks into the small kitchen and begins to brew their tea.
Ever the purist, Lucius observes his movements, waiting for the water to boil, adding a dash of this and that to the brew, his hands moving automatically of their own accord.
His predictable movements stir a warmth within the blond but he keeps it locked away deep down inside of himself.
Afterall, Malfoys rarely show warmth or tenderness.
But another observation redirects his attention.
He notices the mans face looks sullen, and his eye sockets look hollow, but he doesn't have to ask to know.
The dark mark burns for them both.
Severus re-appears with a teapot in hand and sets it on the worn table between them, pouring his guest's drink first, then his own.
"Thankyou Severus, your potioneering skills really lend themselves to your tea making" and as he sips upon his tea he closes his eyes and inhales deeply.
A melody of scents and tastes flood his senses.
One combination of smells overwhelms him, the scent of parchment and log fires.
Truely divine, pure relaxation.
The tea says everything he needs to know, the effort in tailoring it to his exact preferences does not go unnoticed.
The potions master lets slip a rare, proud smile.
Lowering his cup he stares at Severus for a few long moments, ignoring the dull achey feeling rising in his chest.
"Mmmm... you spiked the Earl Grey didn't you?"
Severus stares straight back at him.
Although Lucius's tone is light and flirty, Severus makes sure his walls are high up and in place.
He knows it makes things easier, it speeds things along, puts him more at ease when the time comes and it sure will.
"I suppose it may contain the slightest trace of an Amortentia variation, yes."
Lucius smirks, tossing his hair back and sinking back deeper into the chair.
"Amortentia...I see... nothing wrong with a bit of self indulgent pleasure now and again is there?How long do we have, 20 minutes?"
" Half an hour. There's some matters I'm afraid we need to discuss first."
Lucius nods at the gravity of the impending conversation ,touching his forearm subconciously.
As he studies his friend he can almost feel the texture of those thin lips against his and he smirks.
From the expression on the man's face, he's seen his thoughts.
As the minutes slide by the room feels tense and morbid.
An impending sense of doom covers them like a heavy blanket, the thought is almost stifling.
Both men remain guarded, the way they discuss you know whos return is hushed and cryptic and they know the fear terrifies them both.
If only they had known long ago what being a death eater truely entailed.
"We may have to cease these meetings in future ...it is too much of a risk."
Lucius sips more tea and frowns
"Cease them? Surely we can change our location and communication methods other than relying on owls...just to ensure the utmost discretion possible."
"If the dark lord catches us, and he will, we will be at his mercy."
"Our union should hardly concern him Severus. We are both death eaters afterall-"
"He will see weakness and exploit the both of us to do as he wishes. Narcissa and yourself are married and although I assure you he is thrilled at furthering a line of death eaters, he will only sneer in our direction and attempt to use what we share against us."
The blond considers this for a moment and averts his gaze towards the bookshelves.
"It is only a casual fuck" he says quietly
Severus' expression is blank, as usual, but on the inside his friends words sting a little.
"I believe you are forgetting that the dark lord does not experience human emotions.
Fucking outside of your martial bed will spell weakness, that you are unable to find what you need within Narcissa.
You will be seen as vulnerable for needing to seek out other men to satisfy whatever it is that brings you here."
"But my friend" he replied with a sarcastic drawl " you are the one who requests me!"
" And no longer will I. Tonight will be our last evening "
A silence descends upon them as they let the weight of the conversation sink in.
"I see..." Replies Lucius solemnly. Neither man looks at the other ,just away.
As they continue to discuss the return of you know , Lucius can no longer ignore the tingling sensation building up within him.
As Severus drones on in his deep, smooth voice ,the blond finds it difficult to concentrate on the words and but not on the rich hues of his voice.
It makes him feel giddy and out of breath.
How much tea did he drink?
The other man seemed to have drunk less than him.
He scrubs his face and sparks fly from his sensitive fingers.
But his friend keeps talking, something to do with Dumbledore but he isn't following.
"Severus..." he feels woozy and so very turned on now as he observes the soft lamp light glowing around the edges of his friend's inky black hair.
A halo of golden light.
The thought of reaching out and grabbing a fistful of that hair is almost too much for him.
He stands up abruptly and shakes off his cloak onto the chair behind him.
"Enough! Come now, it's time."
The conversation comes to a halt.
Everything stops as the two men share an unspoken agreement on whats about to transpire.
Severus nods,finishes his drink and without a second glance leads the way to his bedroom, with Lucius following behind.
The beginning stages of their arrangement always starts off awkward and hesitant.
Sometimes it's the harsh bouts of isolation and loneliness that push Severus into making contact with another human being, other times it's motivated by his own repressed sexual desires. But tonight is their last and what is usually an excitingly curious event is now tinged with unspoken sadness.
The potions master lingers by the closed door while Lucius removes his shirt, leaving his boots and trousers on.
His face is flushed and his skin feels like it's tingling against the rough material of his clothes.
He cannot stop staring ,even without the tea, Severus thinks his friend looks like a beautiful veela with his pale muscular body and white blond mane of hair.
Lucius also watches Severus and notes how his eyes dart from one spot on the ground to another,lost in thought.
It displeases him to know that the wizard has such a strong sense of revulsion towards his outward appearance. He remembers teasing and pushing the dark haired boy to his limits ,trying to break him free of his sorrows, to give him confidence,to fix what was hidden within.
That's how the sex had started.
All them years ago.
Lucius pats the bed gently and softly sighs "come here". Just like many years ago the younger man still needs encouragement.
Severus sits stiffly next to him and for a moment the two men don't say a word.
Intimacy is a double edged sword, there are some boundaries they don't cross, some questions that seem too personal, too revealing ,so they opt for quietly holding the others hand.
Severus finds himself leaning against his friends bare shoulder, feeling the tea work its magic over his tense muscles, his heavy heart.
He breathes in heavily, the scent of pine and luxurious bath oils... He closes his eyes for a moment and basks in the skin to skin contact they share together.
Lucius weaves some wandless magic as all the little candles and wall lamps flicker in a hazy, seductive warmth.
He looks down at their laps as his long slender fingers inch their way over his leg only to rest against the other man's crotch,palming and squeezing gently.
He continues massaging before pushing them lightly backwards, back against the bed with himself on-top.
The desire and want kicks up a notch as Lucius begins to unbutton the many buttons on the man's shirt.
"Really now, why must you always wear such impractical clothing" he huffs,fingers clumsily working their way down.
He can see the man trying to find words to reply with but instead he groans when his neck is given a gentle bite.
Now Severus's chest is exposed and as he stares up at the ceiling, he can feel Lucius against his skin, a wet heat against his neck...chest...stomach...he can't look, but shivers involuntarily at the sensation. Intimacy overwhelms him, the warmth of another person's body always feels like an illusion,one that will leave as quick as it came.
He tries to concentrate on keeping still, but the blood is pounding in his ears, it's becoming difficult to keep the walls up now. He experiences wave after wave of lust but always feels a degree of shame attached.
He moans at the mans touch, a warm hand snaking beneath his trousers and grasping his balls firmly.
"look at me."
He opens his eyes to see a semi naked Lucius draped over his body, those cold blue eyes locked on his.
His heart races in his chest, his sex strains painfully against the hand that holds it, it's almost too much to process.
Lucius sees the strain on the man's face, the internal conflict brewing within.
His fingers stroke the side of his face lovingly, though he'd never admit to the sentiment.
"It's just us two" whispers Lucius " No one else, nothing new."
Severus nods dreamily as he stares into his friends seductive, deep blue eyes.
Until, he catches the pale etching of the dark mark the candle light.
He can't unsee it now, the snake and skull entwined, bringing forth feelings of fear and revulsion within him.
Lucius grasps his jaw and forces his gaze away from the mark and back towards him again
"Don't. Let us not spoil what is to become our last intimate experience together."
There's a crack in Severus's defense's and Lucius sees the sadness in his eyes, a deep slow burning fire of hurt that has been growing his entire life.
It makes him feel uncomfortable when he's able to read his friend so easily as there is little he can do to fix it.
"Severus.. May I? have your submission please?"
The younger man closes his eyes and feels all the emotions that he's held captive within begin to unravel.
He brings the man's slender fingers to his lips.
A soft and subtle kiss.
"Yes, you may." he whispers back.
Time disappears as the two wizards become lost in their own desires.
As the wick of the candles continue to burn, their moans of pleasure and pain become heated and longing for more.
"Ahhh..." Severus throws his head back against Lucius's chest, the two sit on the bed, one arm wrapped and pressing tightly against his neck, the other pumping him slowly.
The dark haired man stops straining and goes slack within Lucius's smothering embrace.
Strands of black hair cling to his sweaty face, his mouth ajar slightly with soft needy moans.
Lucius tightens his hold on the man's neck, his instincts to dominate kicking in, to wring every noise and tremor out of his partner.
"..tell m-me... what sensations... what you have become...?"
Pumping him slower now, he wraps his fingers around the mans throat instead illiciting a small whimper.
He bucks to the sound of it, the slow, torturous pace continues.
Severus moans and gasps, his insecurities long gone with only the burning desire and need for sex coursing through him.
The effects of the tea having worn off long ago.
He says something but the words disintegrate as they leaves his lips
"Pardon me?" For a moment he stops and lets his friend catch his breath.
"euphoric...free....yours...please..." he gasps as Lucius resumes and picks up the pace a little.
He lets loose a long breathy sigh as his friend buries his face in his lank black hair.
"That's right , you are mine Severus....never forget it" he whispers dangerously near his ear and feels a shiver of lust course through them both.
Suddenly he releases this friend and orders him to turn around.
He unzips his fly, kneeing on the bed still in his boots, pulling his cock out hastily.
Without a word Severus moves towards him and takes it in his mouth.
The older man sits on the bed, legs wide apart with a mass of black hair in his lap and a soothing heat rising from crotch and spreading through out his languid body.
He peers down at the professor through his heavy lidded gaze and wishes life could be like this always.
The way the younger man knows his rhythm and pacing is divine.
The willingness to be vulnerable, to follow his every command and free himself from his inhibitions is exhilarating.
But also its the fondness he has for Severus that makes his pulse race.
It's more than just fondness and he knows it...he just can't find the words to fit.
"Oh gods..." he moans desperately , grabbing a tight fist of the mans hair and shoving him back down against him till those lips touch the base. All he feels is his cock tightly constricted by his partners throat and the urge to climax then and there is so incredibly enticing.
A symphony of sounds, smells, tastes and sensations overcome Severus and he's grasping his friend's slender hips tightly attempting to keep him in there for as long as possible.
He knows when Lucius leaves his actions will fill him with embarrassment and shame but for now his mind a blank slate.
Just a slave to the senses.
Sucking his friend off peacefully.
He feels a set of hands on his shoulders gently pushing him back to withdraw.
With his cock in hand Lucius traces the tip over his lips, a mixture of saliva and pre-cum leaving slick trails of wetness behind.
That superior smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth, contemplating the idea of releasing his cum all Severus's face.
Instead he leans down to kiss him, devouring his mouth completely.
His hands roaming over his friends pale body desperately seeking to make contact with his entire being.
The lines of control blur as both men loose themselves to kissing and grinding against each other, gasping and whispering frantic words they'll never properly address.
" ....need you..."
Lucius heaves himself upright, swooning a little as he magics away his pants and drags Severus back towards the side of the bed by his ankles.
"Table..." Severus breathes, motioning to the little bottle of lube on the bedside table.
He watches as the blond slicks himself up and fights the urge to suck him off again. For a moment Lucius seems to glows in the candle light, his form almost iridescent and shining from sweat , his muscles taught,his hair disheveled but ever so silken.
He holds his breath for a moment, expecting the man to slap his ass and plunge into him without mercy.
But he doesn't.
He just stands by the foot of the bed, his stiff erection in one hand with his eyes softly upon him.
Lucius steps forward and tenderly strokes the man's pale face.
They share a silent moment of affection as Severus closes his eyes and kisses the lips that caress his.
He swears he whispers a word that is fragile and faint, just beyond the cusp of his hearing.
But the moment's gone too soon, replaced by the slow burn of initial pain before Lucius himself thrusts forcefully inside.
In the end Lucius takes him roughly as he always does.
The final act of their sexual encounter is always like this.
Severus finds himself exhausted and drenched in both of their sweat, his face buried in a pillow, groaning and trying to relax as Lucius pants gritting his teeth, alternating between reckless abandon and slow torture.
They're both so close as Lucius tugs off the other man in time with himself.
"I-I'm going to cum!" Severus gasps as his face is pushed down into the pillow
""Not yet!...when...i ...say...so..."
The two men are locked together writhing in pure ecstasy.
Lucius can feel the pressure building, almost to the point of release.
He can smell the faint scent of sweat and sex, he can taste it in his mouth.
His eyelids flutter shut as he slams into his partner again and again, producing a series of stifled grunts.
The silken heat envelopes him and everything goes white.
He lets out a strangled cry
Severus arches his back and his face contorts as he cums into his friends hand and onto the mattress.
He grunts loudly as the sensation of being filled with a hot white heat seeps into him and collapses under the blond.
The two men lay there panting, naked, spent.
Lucius shifts to the side and drapes a heavy arm across the other mans stomach.
And they continue to lay there well past any previous time frame they had previously given themselves.
Severus comes to first, his mind still hazy and fuzzy with feelings of intense comfort and ease.
His bedroom has never looked so ethereal before with all the tiny candles casting orange light on the wall and the form of this exquisite and complicated man beside him.
He wants to tell him that deep down within him, there is a form of love he holds for the man that he can never admit to.
It's a feeling he knows they both share, one that's always left unsaid, ignored, downplayed. But this could be their last night together and as he looks at his pale friend he feels a pang of fear and sorrow wash over him. What good would come of it?
Only heartache and loss.
Another weakness for the Dark Lord to manipulate.
Lucius slowly withdraws from the reeling sensations of lust and love that his mind floods him with and feels himself coming down.
He shifts himself slightly and looks over to the man beside him who is gazing at the ceiling.
There lies a man who is an enigma, so guarded and on alert that he would only ever add to his list of pain in his life than count his blessings.
Lucius reaches over to touch his cheek and gives Severus a rare, lazy smile.
"I have something for you" he murmers, kissing the man's jaw lightly.
He smirks at the look of confusion in Severus' eyes and feels his own chest tighten as he removes an elegant silver band off of his finger and places it in Severus's hand.
In his palm lies a ring of two slender snakes wrapped around each other.
"Lucius? Your family crest..." Severus stares at the blond with wide eyes, trying to make sense of what this suddenly means.
"Shhh...you are right Severus...we cannot continue...so take it. Know that you are my oldest and dearest friend, forever, until the end...where ever our fates shall lead us."
Severus stares at Lucius, his eyes searching for more, committing those words to memory, words that he so desperate longs to hear.
"And I to you...thankyou.."
Severus replies in disbelief before slipping it onto his finger and gazing up at the blond, feeling as though his heart is shattering in slow motion.
Lucius looks away for a moment and clears his throat, before pulling the man close and burying his face in his soft black hair.
Neither of them says a word. They lay like that until the heaviness of sleep washes over them both, whisking them off into a sea of dreams where they are free and happy.