Chapter 1: A Bundle of Joy
“He’s a good dad,” Gil commented off handedly.
Uma looked up from the map she was looking at glancing up at Gil briefly. She then turned her eyes onto her first mate across the deck who was rocking a small bundle wrapped in a soft blanket back and forth gently in his arms. She was briefly caught off guard by his soft expression and the way that he cooed at the squirming figure in his arms. It was a little too picturesque for the current circumstances.
“If you say so,” she finally settled on rolling her eyes at Harry before turning her focused gaze back on the map. “Just make sure the little devil doesn’t bite his finger off.”
“Look Uma!” Harry called her, lifting the squirming figure in his arms to show her, the blanket shifting to reveal the dog sized crocodile in his arms. “It’s almost big enough for little Caspian to wrestle!”
“I swear to Poseidon, you are not putting my child anywhere near that damn croc, Hook!” Uma responded not looking up from her map but gently stroking the head of the toddler clinging on to her leg, standing on his tip toes to look at the map with his Mama and Uncle Gil.
“Oh come on, darling!” Harry pouted. “I was wrestling crocodiles at his age! It builds character!”
“Fucking crazy character,” Uma murmured.
“Bad word, Mama!” little Caspian cried.
“I’m Captain of this ship, sweetie. I can get away with saying bad words,” she smiled sweetly down at the child.
“Oh,” the boy nodded as if that was common sense going back to mimicking his mother’s stern expression as she studied the map.
Only Gil looked up with any amount of concern when Harry began yelling.
“AH!! SHIT! Damn little monster bit me finger!”
Uma didn’t spare her poor husband and first mate a glance, instead turning to her son.“Now ya see, Daddy isn’t captain so he get’s punished for saying bad words. Why don’t you and Uncle Gil punish him for me?”
“YAY!” the young boy cried excitedly as Gil lifted him onto his shoulder. “Imma hook ‘em for you Momma.”
Uma winked at her son, a proud smile on her face. “That’s my boy!”
Chapter 2: You're a Gryffindor, Harry
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
“Slytherin. Slytherin. Slytherin.”
“Another Hook, eh? Hm…you’re definitely brave, boy…to the point of recklessness even…and that temper…HA!
“Slytherin! Slytherin! Slytherin!”
“But you’re not just a hot head, are you? There’s something else there…loyalty…honor…”
“SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN!”
“…You say Slytherin but I think it’s gotta be… GRYFFINDOR!!!”
This couldn’t be happening.
This…it...it just couldn’t be happening.
“Mister Hook, I need you to move on along to your house table so that we can continue with the sorting ceremony,” Fairy Godmother spoke next to him, a hint of annoyance in her otherwise calm tone as she removed the Sorting Hat from one Harry James Hook’s head.
Harry stood up, oddly compliant as Professor Godmother gave him a gentle nudge towards his assigned house table. He took a shaky step forward, nearly tripping over his robes that felt all the more too big for his skinny frame as he went down the short set of steps towards his newly assigned house table.
His body moved on its own, mind blank except for one thought: “I’m a Slytherin, like me Da. Like ‘Ettie. Not a Gryffindor…This can’t be right. It-it just can’t!”
But as he neared the table filled with crimson and gold wearing young wizards and witches, glaring at him like he was the upchuck that his father’s old familiar Tic Toc had spat out, Harry’s once plain black robes began to magically become trimmed with the colors of the brave and valiant house of Gryffindor.
“Fuck,” he groaned as he flopped himself down at the end of table, his earlier appetite gone and oblivious to the glares of his own house; oblivious to the sorting ceremony continuing; and oblivious to his best friend, Uma Tritaea being sorted into Slytherin, and the look of guilt on her face as she passed him, heading towards the excited welcoming cheers of the Slytherin table.
Hours earlier, Uma flopped back into her seat, Mal’s annoying little cackle seeming to still echo throughout the train compartment despite her having been gone for the last ten minutes. “What if I don’t get into Slytherin with you? What if Mal is right? What if-”
“Don’t ye even finish that thought, lass,” Harry hissed, jumping from his seat across the space that separated them in one of the small compartments of the Hogwarts Express to cover her mouth with his hand.
The young witch slapped his hand away, glaring at him before turning her head quickly to look out of the window, black braids nearly smacking her oldest friend.
Harry huffed, falling back in his seat across from her, the shirt of his uniform already untucked and his hair as messy and wild as always. “Come on, Uma,” he sighed. “You’re gonna be there in Slytherin right there with me and prove to that momma’s girl Mal and everyone else that they ain’t even half the witch you are.”
The compartment was silent for a second before Uma spoke, insecurity still in her voice. “If I’m not in Slytherin, Harry…” Uma began before cutting herself off, clearing her throat as she stared down at her polished uniform shoes. “Will…will we still be friends?”
The boy looked at her quietly for a second before breaking out into a loud laugh. “Is that what got ye worried?” He ignored Uma’s scathing glare and moved to sit down next to her. “Uma, even if you get sorted with them lousy ‘Puffs, we’ll always stick together. No matter what.” Harry stuck out his hand towards her in a promise. “That’s a promise. I swear,” he murmured sincerely.
Uma let out a small smile. “Okay,” she nodded, taking his hand. “We stick together. No matter what.”
Trying to sleep had been useless for Harry and it showed with how easily the bags underneath his eyes had formed.
The upperclassmen in Gryffindor had made it clear from the very beginning that they didn’t trust him because his da had been a dark wizard. (It didn't help that his da had been thought to be a bit mad even before he had been put on trial.) That they thought he was gonna throw a killing curse at them while they were sleeping. When the rumors spread, no one, not even the other first years in his house wanted to be near Harry.
And he didn’t even want to think about how his eldest sister Harriet, a former Slytherin herself, was going to skin him alive when she found out about this. Hooks had always been sorted into Slytherin for generations. He could just hear the hollwer that Harriet would send blaming him as always for something that wasn’t even his fault.
Harry groaned at the thought as he made his way to his first class. Honestly, he would have ditched class to avoid the staring and whispers if it hadn’t been for his damn head of house strolling into the dorm room Harry shared with some of the other boys in his year and tugging him by the ear out of bed.
“Merlin’s beard,” he paused in front of the classroom door.
He wasn’t ready for this. He couldn’t do this. Nope. Nope. Nope. He may be a lot of things but he wouldn’t be the laughingstock of the school. He knew that once he stepped foot into that room full of Gryffindors and Slytherins he’d be surrounded by untrusting lions and devious snakes ready to exploit him. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to-
“Geez, did you get petrified by a Gorgon or something, Hook?” a familiar voice startled him. Harry spun around, coming face to face with Uma, an expectant look on the girl’s features. He couldn’t help but notice her robes, with their silver and emerald green trimming and matching tie. He should be wearing those colors too.
Harry would be lying if he didn’t admit a curl of jealousy crept into his throat at the sight. But it only lasted for a second as he felt an overwhelming sense of happiness for his friend. At least she would be fine. At least she would finally be able to show Mal and the rest of this stupid school that she was a witch not to be messed with. It was nice to think that he could at least look back on this and say he used to know Uma Tritaea before she left him behind for better things, the witch that-
“Quit your internal monologuing Hook before we’re late for class,” she hissed pushing past him, surprising him when she grabbed his arm as she passed, pulling him along.
Harry wasn’t prepared for the sudden shift and nearly fell on his face, catching himself just as Uma gave another forceful tug on his arm, pulling him further into the room. Any conversation that had been occurring immediately stopped, everyone watching as the short Slytherin girl determinedly pulled the outcast of Gryffindor into an empty seat before she sat down next to him. No one said a thing, neither on the Slytherin side of the room nor on the Gryffindor side. Even Harry found himself speechless as he watched Uma casually ruffle through her bag for her materials for class.
Uma seemed to allow a few more seconds of being stared at before she turned around, glaring fiercely at the other students until they averted their eyes, going into hushed conversations, pondering why the heck a Slytherin and a Gryffindor - members of the two houses with the biggest rivalries against each other for centuries - were sitting with each other.
When Uma turned back to Harry, she was met with pure shock and awe in his bright blue eyes.
“Uma, why-” Harry began but was cut off by a small hand against his lips, reminiscent of what he had done to her only the day before.
“Don’t you even finish that thought, Hook,” she hissed, the look in her eyes firm but not harsh. “We always stick together. No matter what, right?” she stated more than questioned just as Professor Godmother came in to begin their Transfiguration class.
Harry bit his lip, tilting his head down just slightly so that his always messy hair obscured his eyes and the way they glossed over just for a moment. “A-aye,” he managed to get out.
Uma didn’t say a word but she shifted slightly closer to him so that her leg brushed against his, ignoring the lingering eyes of their fellow classmates, in order to provide the simple comfort, letting him know that she was there for him, that she would always be there for him.
When Harry finally did lift up his head, his eyes were bright and he flashed her his usual mischievous smile, making a face to mock Professor Godmother and her lecture whenever her back was turned back to the class.
They nearly got caught and given a week’s worth of detention on their first day when Uma couldn’t hold in her giggles at a particularly funny face Harry had made but it didn’t matter. Not to Harry at least.
Slytherin or not, he had Uma.
That would be enough for him.
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Everything within Uma screamed at her to move, to fight, to do anything to get Harry away from the deranged monster who thought he was the universe’s new deity.
“Uma,” Harry smiled though it was filled with sadness and regret. It hurt so much because she knew it wasn’t directed at her at all. He thought he had failed her. He thought this was all his fault.
The space pirate turned reluctant leader nearly crumbled under the memories that they shared and how he had quickly claimed his place at her side like he had been born to stand next to her.
You’re too good for me, she thought as she bit her lip to hold back the rage that threatened to rip itself from out of her as a gold gauntlet clad hand clenched tighter around Harry’s neck.
“I told you to go right,” Uma kept her blaster trained on Harry’s captor who looked upon her like an adult watching a child play cops and robbers.
Harry continuing to smile, that same smile that he always wore when he knew that Uma was falling apart from the inside out. The one that since they had first broken out of that floating space prison together with Gil, Jordan, and Freddie she had quickly came to associate with, “Relax darlin’. Everything will be ok.”
But it wouldn’t. Not this time. And Uma didn’t know who to be more mad at: Harry for lying, or the piece of space shit behind him for forcing him to.
“Couldn’t be helped, lass,” Harry choked around his words. “You know I like to get roughened up a bit, though, gotta say, choking as foreplay? Not my thing I realize, now.”
“So this is your latest whore,” Davey Jones cut in with a tone of boredom.
“Girlfriend actually,” Harry corrected as if they were discussing the weather (bleak, smoke and fire everywhere with an overcast of unimaginable apocalyptic doom in the afternoon). “Though we both know that’s just a silly formality because apparently a lad can’t call a bonnie lass his ‘wife’ even after stealing a pretty ship for her.”
“Harry!” Uma snapped, finding her last string of resolve beginning to fray as she shifted her blaster into a better grip with both hands, fighting against how they shook. Her glare hardened even more at the planet conquerer. She may just be human now that Ursula was dead but Uma was the Star Queen (the name just stuck, thanks to Gil) and not even the galaxies collapsing on themselves would stop her from letting some calamari reject steal her Harry!
“Captain” Harry’s voice broke through her thoughts, sounding so strange without its usual confident swagger. “I think it be time we move on to Plan B.”
Uma’s stomach dropped. “No. Nope. Not gonna happen,” she shook her head. “Think again, Hook!”
The smile he gave her was still sad, still regretful, and so full of love for her. “Ye promised, darlin'. Ye can do it. I love you.”
A lone tear slipped from her eye as she stared at Harry, searching his blue eyes for some sort of trick, some sort of last minute slight of hand that would get them both out of this situation and hopefully to the furthest galaxy that was far far away from this nightmare. But that chance, if it ever existed, was long gone.
“I love you, too,” was all the warning Uma gave before shifting her blaster down and simultaneously releasing three blasts aimed at Harry. Both only stared at each other with growing dread as Harry’s shirt, right over where his enhanced heart lay, was soaked with water, instead of blood and wires. The blaster itself soon slipped through Uma’s fingers as it too liquified into only water.
“Hm, I like this lass,” Jones said with a slight air of admiration before a portal opened behind him, swallowing him and Harry, only leaving behind the modified hook Harry had dropped for Uma to clutch in her hands as the tears became too strong for her to fight back.
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