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If you dont sit the fUCK DOWN

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
Thats rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojirou
Jhonny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

Deku bOKE added uwuravity, slip 'n' slide, easy bake oven and 17 others to 'UA school group chat'

Deku bOKE: To stop all confusion of school times, assignments, homework help and talking in general, I made a group chat for us all!!!

Gunpowder gelatine: ...

Gunpowder gelatine has left the conversation

Hard boi: Aw come on Bakugou!

Hard boi added Gunpowder gelatine to 'UA school group chat'

Gunpowder gelatine: FOR FUCK SAKE SHITTY HAIR I DONT WANT TO FUCKING BE HERE

Tenya Iida: What a great idea Midoryia! I hope you all use the group chat for school-related matters only.

Jhonny test: lmao you thought

easy bake oven: Hello everybody, may I ask which one of you is which? Your 'lit usernames 'confuse me.

Caught on tape: MOMO

easy bake oven: Yes, Hanta?

Caught on tape: Your username has made me shed a tear

Caught on tape: @Literally a pair of headphones You have done well

Literally a pair of headphones: Thx

easy bake oven: Anyways, I would like to know exactly who is which in this group chat, otherwise it may get confusing.

Deku bOKE: You should already know me!! It's in my username but don't tell Kacchan!!!

uwuravity: Have you ever heard of someone so pure

uwuravity: Also Uraraka here!

Hard boi: Kiri here!

slip 'n' side: The baddest bitch out there

easy bake oven: Hello, Mina.

Jhonny test: lmao denki here

That's rough buddy: Todoroki

Not on tape: Hagakure also, valid

razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama here✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Gunpowder gelatine: Does this twink really use fucking emoticons

Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu, ribbit

uwuravity: Babe you know you really don't have to type ribbit right?

Here comes dat girl: I know, ribbit

Jhonny test: whipped

two birds one hero: Tokoyami here

Limbs for days: Shouji

Soda: Satou, also girls I made some cupcakes if anyone wanted to try them!

Soda: Also animal crossing is Koda he just doesn't want to talk

Karate kid: Why is Mina speeding down the hallway on her acid 40 km an hour to Satou's room?

slip 'n' slide: gotta do what you gotta do

slip 'n' slide: satous food goes like Midoryia's will to stop breaking his limbs

Jhonny test: lMao

Literally a pair of headphones: a literal lane

deku bOKE: Mean (Ω Д Ω)

That's rough buddy: Don't talk about him like that

Not on tape: watch out guys the bf stepping in

That's rough buddy: what

deku bOKE: what

Gunpowder gelatine: You guys are so fucking oblivious

Jhonny test: Says you

Caught on tape: Run denki

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojirou
Jhonny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are Gucci bitch: Shinsou

 

Jhonny test: where do you think sero's tape is made of

Literally a pair of earphones: Denki it is 2 in the morning go the fuck to sleep

Caught on tape: i

Not on tape: is it made out of skin or something?

two birds one hero: Made of tears

Hard boi: Its a mystery

deku bOKE: Maybe natural skin oil and some type of adhesive?

Gunpowder gelatine: I hate every single one of you

Gunpowder gelatine: Also Ei, go to sleep you haven't gotten enough sleep lately

Hard boi: I'll make sure Katsuki!

Jhonny test: s o f t b a k u g o u?????

Gunpowder gelatine: Shut the fuck up Pikachu

Not on tape: Are we gonna ignore the first name basis

deku bOKE: It would be better not to

That's rough buddy: You're right, Izuku

Literally a pair of headphones: Do I smell

Literally a pair of headphones: h a p p i n e s s?

That's rough buddy: No just sexual tension

Caught on tape: T O D O R O K I

Not on tape: pSCHHH

Jhonny test: OHMYFUCKTODO

Gunpowder gelatine: Why can I hear Deku squealing like a fucking pig

uwuravity: He's having a gay panic let him live

Tenya Iida: Everyone please go to sleep! We have school tomorrow and I expect everyone to be on time!

Jhonny test: ok dad

uwuravity: ok dad

Caught on tape: ok dad

Not on tape: ok dad

Literally a pair of headphones: ok dad

deku bOKE: ok dad

That's rough buddy: ok dad

That's rough buddy: Izuku isn't your dad All Might?

Not on tape: Not this bullshit again

deku bOKE: I wish

Gunpowder gelatine: If all might was his dad then I would of meet him as a kid because Auntie Inko would sometimes pick me up and I would stay at Deku's house sometimes and us being the shitty kids we were we would have found out

deku bOKE: i

deku bOKE: Why is Kiri crying

Hard boi: tHaTs So pUrE

Jhonny test: omfg auntie inko

That's rough buddy: Sleepovers?

deku bOKE: Me and Kacchan were great friends until he got his quirk

uwuravity: How can you be so rude to Deku when he's this pure

Gunpowder gelatine: No one can be that pure

Gunpowder gelatine: We all know he's secretly a kinky little shit

That's rough buddy: . . .

That's rough buddy: Goodnight y'all

deku bOKE: Good night Shouto!

Literally a pair of headphones: Why is he not denying it tho

Jhonny test: There's only one way to find outwaesrdtfyguhijknhbgfvcdxrg

uwuravity: what happened with the keyboard smash

Hard boi: Todoroki smashed his head into the keyboard

Hard boi: What a man y'all

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojirou
Jhonny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are Gucci bitch: Shinsou

Deku bOKE: Has anyone seen my PE pants? I can't find them anywhere

That's rough buddy: Dw you left it in my room after last night you can come over now and get them

slip 'n' slide: WHOA WHOA WHOA

Jhonny test: shady aF

razzle dazzle motherfucker: Oh~✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

These eyebags are Gucci: did you leave your virginity there too

Jhonny test: you can leave yours in my dorm

These eyebags are Gucci: ...

Karate kid: ...

slip 'n' slide: ...

razzle dazzle motherfucker: ...

Soda: ...

uwuravity: ...

Literally a pair of headphones: ...

Hard boi: ...

Caught on tape: ...

Not on tape: ...

Here comes dat girl: ...

easy bake oven: ...

Limbs for days: ...

two birds one hero: ...

deku bOKE: ...

That's rough buddy: ...

Animal Crossing: ...

Tenya Iida: ...

Gunpowder gelatine: What the fuck

Hard boi: Goddamnit babe you ruined it

Hard boi: Even Iida did it

These eyebags are Gucci bitch: Are we gonna talk about the fact that even Deku and Todoroki joined in and ignored the question

Here comes dat girl: Are we gonna talk about 'babe'

Jhonny test: are we gonna talk about the fact that our teacher's secret love child rEJECTED ME

That's rough buddy: Secret love child?

two heroes one bird: Oh FFS Kaminari

Hard boi: Denki why

Not on tape: Don't get him started again

easy bake oven: Here we go again

uwuravity: oh no

deku bOKE: He has a drawing board in his room with pictures of me and all might and other 'matches' of his

deku bOKE: it's quite funny actually

Gunpowder gelatine: blackmail

uwuravity: speaking of blackmail, Deku you still haven't gotten me that coffee for what I saw last night

That's rough buddy: He's busy right now

Soda: I heard blackmail and I came

uwuravity: I have blackmail on almost all of y'all bitches

slip 'n' slide: ⓔⓥⓔⓡⓨⓞⓝⓔ ⓢⓔⓝⓓ ⓢⓞⓜⓔⓣⓗⓘⓝⓖ ⓡⓔⓐⓛⓛⓨ ⓔⓜⓑⓐⓡⓐⓢⓢⓘⓝⓖ ⓐⓑⓞⓤⓣ ⓣⓗⓔⓘⓡ ⓑⓔⓢⓣ ⓕⓡⓘⓔⓝⓓ ⓒⓐⓤⓢⓔ ⓘⓜ ⓛⓞⓦ ⓞⓝ ⓑⓛⓐⓒⓚⓜⓐⓘⓛ

Gunpowder gelatine: wtf is that font

Literally a pair of headphones: Momo has really tickly feet and she giggles like a little girl when you touch them lmao

easy bake oven: Since Jirou has a smaller chest than some of else girls, when we sleep together she always grabs them and whispers quietly "I love boobs"

Jhonny test: moMO

uwuravity: the tea being spilled here

Literally a pair of headphones: why do you throw me under the bus like this babe what the fuck

Hard boi: Bakugou sometimes purrs in his sleep

Caught on tape: omL WHAT

deku bOKE: It's true! Kacchan sometimes purred in his sleep at our sleepovers!

uwuravity: Yeah well Denki has this sort of buzz to his quirk that calms Tsuyu down including her frog instincts

Jhonny test: It does? wow

Not on tape: Sero cries watching Jurrasic park

Caught on tape: Hagakure secretly watches everyone

Soda: Thanks! I hate it

deku bOKE: Shouto once said to me "You're like an angel without wings" and I replied with "So like a person?" and Mina I need you to give him flirting lessons

That's rough buddy: Izuku why

slip 'n' slide: im on it

Karate kid: minA STOP SLIDING DOWN THE HALLWAYS AT TOP SPEED YOURE GONNA KILL SOMEONE

slip 'n' slide: gotta do what you gotta do for the gay bruh

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojirou
Jhonny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are Gucci bitch: Shinsou

Tenya Iida: Bakugou please keep the noise down! We can all hear you in the common room!

Caught on tape: wheres kiri

Deku bOKE: ...

uwuravity: ...

slip 'n' slide: ...

easy bake oven: ...

Not on tape: ...

Here comes dat girl: ...

razzle dazzle motherfucker: ...

two birds one hero: ...

Animal crossing: ...

Literally a pair of earphones: ...

That's rough buddy: ...

Limbs for days: ...

Soda: ...

Karate kid: ...

Jhonny test: ...

These eyebags are Gucci bitch: ...

Gunpowder gelatine: Where the fuck do you think he is

uwuravity: baKUGOU

Jhonny test: quit fucking im tryna do homework

These eyebags are Gucci: we all know thats a lie and youre just watching naruto

Soda: sorry man

Karate kid: Why is Iida, uraraka, Todoroki and shinsou covering Midoryia's ears

Not on tape: Gods work

slip 'n' slide: anyone wants anything from mcdonalds

deku bOKE: could you get me a happy meal plz? ill pay you back

uwuravity: how can you say no to that

uwuravity: also, me and tsuyu would like a cheeseburger each

easy bake oven: I've never had McDonalds before and Jirou is urging me on to have a big mac so I would like to try that! Jirou would like a Quarter pounder!

slip 'n' slide: alright lesbians

easy bake oven: And Midoryia

slip 'n' slide: And Izuku

slip 'n' slide: And babe I'll get you the usual and a soda with two straws for us

Not on tape: <3<3<3<3<3

slip 'n' slide: <3<3<3<3<3

Jhonny test: Chill wit the gay

These eyebags are gucci bitch: wanna make out

Jhonny test: im oN MY WAY

These eyebags are gucci: Chill wit the gay

Jhonny test: why would you play wit my heart like that

Literally a pair of headphones: weird flex but okay

 

7:38 PM EST

 

slip 'n' slide: alright hoes im back come get your precious nourishment

That's rough buddy: Izuku and I are on our way

Literally a pair of headphones: coming down wit momo

Gunpowder gelatine: did you get Ei anything

slip 'n' slide: of course fucking i did i got him his usual

Hard boi: a true shistar <3

slip 'n' slide: <3 also tooru where are you

Not on tape: babe im right next to you

Literally a pair of headphones: guys help

Hard boi: who hurt my shistar

Literally a pair of headphones: no one

Literally a pair of headphones: momo is asleep on me

Literally a pair of headphones: her boobs are like pressed against me and im having a gay panic

Literally a pair of headphones: god i love boobs

Jhonny test: ha, gay

These eyebags are gucci bitch: thats not what you said last night isnt it hm

Not on tape: ohmiGOD SHINSOU

Hard boi: replacing mineta with shinsou was the best decison of our lives

deku bOKE: I got a fatgum toy!

deku bOKE: Ei, you can have it if you want since fatgum is your favourite hero!

Hard boi: Thanks Midoryia!

uwuravity: wholesome friendship

Here comes dat girl: me and ochako are coming down btw

Gunpowder gelatine: deku

deku bOKE: yes kacchan?

Gunpowder gelatine: if you call kiri Ei ever again i will peel your skin off in your sleep

deku bOKE: peel me like an orange for all i care cause eI GAVE ME AN ALL MIGHT TOY

Tenya Iida: Everyone! Restrain yourselves from using such vulgar language

Jhonny test: take a chill pill Iida

Gunpowder gelatine: denki why the fuck are you on the kitchen bench

Jhonny test: its where the snacks belong

That's rough buddy: please the only snack in this household is Izuku

Karate kid: damn

Limbs for days: ...

Here comes dat girl: oH

uwuravity: TODOROKI No

Gunpowder gelatine: wtf

Jhonny test: im higher than all you peasants

Gunpowder gelatine: get on my level bitch

That's rough buddy: but bending down hurts my knees

uwuravity: oWNED

Jhonny test: fuCKING WRECKED

Karate kid: I SPIT OUT MY COFFEE

Here comes dat girl: start running katy perry

two birds one hero: todo is my new hero

Limbs for days: i thought it was linkin park

two birds one hero: babe what the fuck

Literally a pair of headphones: Oh

razzle dazzle motherfucker: I've never heard of this before hmmm~✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

easy bake oven: I support it

Literally a pair of headphones: That means she ships it

 

4:20 Am EST

 

Jhonny test: 420 what u smoking

 

7:00 Pm EST

 

deku bOKE: Todoroki how did you manage to break the ceiling of my dorm??? Kacchan has been taunting me all night from his room above

That's rough buddy: sorry im gay

deku bOKE: YOU CANT USE BEING GAY AS AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING

That's rough buddy: I AM A HOMOSEXUAL AND YOU WILL RESPECT ME

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

 

Tenya Iida: Goodnight everyone! I hope you are all in your dorms and ready for bed!

uwuravity: goodnight Iida

Here comes dat girl: does anyone know where denki is? Im supposed to help him with his homework

Johnny test: im on the dorms roof

Gunpowder gelatine: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON THE ROOF

Johnny test: idk man i just woke up here

That’s rough buddy: Stay where you are I’m coming up after you

Johnny test: THANK YOU TODO

Johnny test: A REAL MAN RIGHT HERE

uwuravity: why do you think hes taken

9:56 Pm EST

That’s rough buddy: Okay I got Kaminari down

Here comes dat girl: thank you Todoroki, i got worried

That’s rough buddy: He almost went to jump off

Johnny test: i am one with the wind

That’s rough buddy: And then he passed out

These eyebags are gucci bitch: That's my idiot I’m coming over to get his ass

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Thanks Todo for taking care of him I’ve got him now

Deku bOKE: What happened?😥

Here comes dat girl: denki got rescued off the roof and he passed out

easy bake oven: It’s because he tried to see if he could electrocute the electricity box on the roof

Literally a pair of headphones: babe dont ruin our fun

easy bake oven: You were in on this? I’m disappointed in you, Jirou. Anyways, how is Kaminari doing?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: I put on the Naruto OP 3 and he rose up and starting singing but idk his eyes are still glossy

Literally a pair of headphones: weeb

Gunpowder gelatine: weebs go to pluto to get fucked by naruto

Johnny test: t a k e m e

These eyebags are gucci bitch: I got replaced by fucking naruto

Johnny test: i still lovesedfg you

Here comes dat girl: Hes so wasted

Johnny test: take me to museums and make out with me

These eyebags are gucci bitch: but they said not to touch the masterpieces

Literally a pair of headphones: did you just…?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: but you know what?

Johnny test: what?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: someone's gotta pin the artwork to the wall

Literally a pair of headphones: shINSOU

Hard boi:@Gunpowder gelatine why can't we be like this

Gunpowder gelatine: cause you're too fragile and need to be handled gently

Here comes dat girl: damn

deku bOKE: I found that very ironic, since his quirk is literally hardening

Hard boi: Bakugou can get hard too

easy bake oven: NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN

Literally a pair of headphones: DEKU IS HERE

Johnny test: shinsou is laughing so evilly at the chaos he just caused

uwuravity: I love how momo and jirou have become the moms of the class

Literally a pair of headphones: we have children momo

easy bake oven: Fuck

Johnny test: MOMO SWORE

Here comes dat girl: asredtfygUHIJiklmjhbgfrtdfygh

Uwuravity: FBI OPEN UP

Literally a pair of headphones: MOMO

Hard boi: I believed in you momo I really did

That’s rough buddy: Why mom

Gunpowder gelatine: nice momo

These eyebags are gucci bitch: everyone just forgets that deku is on this chat

Gunpowder gelatine: don't call him that only i do dickwad

Caught on tape: bAkUgOu DeFeNdInG IzUkU????

deku bOKE: Progress!!

Gunpowder gelatine: stfu i still hate you

Gunpowder gelatine: youre useless and powerless compared to me

deku bOKE: Kacchan

Gunpowder gelatine: what?

deku bOKE: Shut the fuck up

Caught on tape: WAERSDTFYGUHIJKJNHBGVFCDRESWARDTFYGUHIJOKPKMJNHBGFCDXRSWAERSDTFYGUHIJOUHBGV

Johnny test: DEKU

two birds one hero: I never thought i’d live to see the day where midoriya would swear

Tenya Iida: Midoriya!

Literally a pair of headphones: YOU GOT ROASTED BY FUCKING
D E K U

uwuravity: OHMIGOD

Hard boi: GO MIDORIYA

slip ‘n’ slide: I CAME ONLINE AT THE RIGHT TIME

Karate kid: fuck him up midoriya

Limbs for days: get roasted baku-bitch

These eyebags are gucci bitch: todo is actually crying

That’s rough buddy: Who corrupted my poor Izuku baby

Here comes dat girl: nICE ONE DEKu

razzle dazzle motherfucker: OH~

easy bake oven: ‘my poor Izuku baby’

slip ‘n’ slide: fresh gays come get your gays here

deku bOKE: Why is everyone so surprised about me swearing?😕😕😕

Here comes dat girl: Because you never swear

slip ‘n’ slide: you are too pure

That’s rough buddy: cause you’re a bottom

Karate kid: blunt but valid

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Gunpowder gelatine: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

Another chapter

Literally a pair of headphones: i'm on a date with momo and its boring

easy bake oven: This isn’t a date I just said I was going to the store

Literally a pair of headphones: then why did you invite me?

easy bake oven: I specifically said, “Don’t come with me” and you said “I do what I want, you big tiddy girlfriend.” And followed me here

Gunpowder gelatine: this is why only Jirou is the one girl i can tolerate besides mina

slip ‘n’ slip: Can you stop at mcdonalds

easy bake oven: I’m making dinner at home

slip ‘n’ slide: I hate this fucking family

slip ‘n’ slide: I’m gonna become the rebel child

slip ‘n’ slide: I will fight endeavor behind a denny's at midnight for todoroki

That’s rough buddy: Nice

Gunpowder gelatine: Are you high

slip ‘n’ slide: Am i what

Gunpowder gelatine: High

slip ‘n’ slide: hello

Not on tape: dw she's in my room i won't let her loose

Soda: just don't her loose i almost die every time she speeds down the hallway on her acid 40 Km an hour to get my food

slip ‘n’ slide: you made food

Soda: hoLD HER BACK

Not on tape: I AM

deku bOKE: I need relationship advice who has any

Hard boi: Dude trust the lesbians

Hard boi: Seriously, they’re smart af

Literally a pair of headphones: mhm

Hard boi: Well maybe not that lesbian

slip ‘n’ slide: dw Midoriya i gotchu

 

slip ‘n’ slide added deku bOKE to ‘let's go lesbians’

 

Not on tape: Midoriya confirmed a lesbian

slip ‘n’ slide: He needs our smart lesbian advice

deku bOKE: I need relationship advice

easy bake oven: What do you need to know?

deku bOKE: well all of you guys are in happy relationships right?

Literally a pair of headphones: yeah

Not on tape: doesn't mean i know how i did it

Here comes dat girl: yep

uwuravity: valid

easy bake oven: Guys shhh! You’re scaring him!

easy bake oven: Yes we are all in happy and healthy relationships.

deku bOKE: There’s a boy I like

slip ‘n’ slide: oh~?

deku bOKE: And I want to ask him out

slip ‘n’ slide: O H

uwuravity: its todo isn't it?

deku bOKE: How did you know? Did you read my diary?!

Literally a pair of headphones: dude it's so obvious

Here comes dat girl: yeah man even bakugou knows

slip ‘n’ slide: you keep a diary?

 

Private chat

easy bake oven >>> deku bOKE

easy bake oven: Why don’t you think you can ask him out?

deku bOKE: Because I’m a b o t t o m!

easy bake oven: That’s no valid reason!

easy bake oven: And you made Jirou choke on that reason.

deku bOKE: Sorry but he’s,,,,,just so,,,,perfect???

easy bake oven: I agree with you, if we both weren’t gay then I’d totally date him.

easy bake oven: But I think you should ask him out.

deku bOKE: but what if he doesn’t like me?

easy bake oven: He’s totally likes you Midoriya. You’re the type of person that everyone would date. Even I would date you. And I’m a lesbian.

deku bOKE:

deku bOKE: Really? You think that?

easy bake oven: Yes! Now go ask him out!

deku bOKE: I’ll do it!

deku bOKE: Thanks Mom!

 

‘UA school group chat’

 

Literally a pair of headphones: alright which one of you little shits made momo fall to the ground and mumble “ so pure, so pure. Baby boy” while clutching her chest

deku bOKE: I accidently called her mom,,,,,

Literally a pair of headphones: understandable, have a nice day

10:11 Pm EST

Private chat

deku bOKE >>>>> That’s rough buddy

deku bOKE: Hey Todoroki!

That’s rough buddy: Hello Izuku

deku bOKE: I need to ask something of you

That’s rough buddy: What happened? Who hurt you? Are you okay? Do you need me for something? I’m coming over

deku bOKE: No no I’m not hurt I’m fine!

That’s rough buddy: Thank god anyway what was your question?

deku bOKE: um

deku bOKE: Have you ever thought about relationships before?

Private Chat

Hard boi >>>>> That’s rough buddy

That’s rough buddy: Oh my god help me it's happening

Hard boi: Is he finally asking you out????

That’s rough buddy: No but he’s asking if I’ve thought about relationships before. I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’ve seen in sailor moon where Tuxedo Mask - sama and Sailor moon have a romantic relationship in the show and I’ve always wanted to see what’s it like.

Hard boi: That’s literally code for “I wanna suck your dick”

Hard boi: And Sailor moon is gr8

 

Private chat

deku bOKE >>>>>> That’s rough buddy

That’s rough buddy: You want to suck my dick?

Private chat

easy bake oven >>>>>> deku bOKE

deku bOKE: MOM

deku bOKE: I MEAN MOMO

easy bake oven: What is it, my loyal son?

deku bOKE: He asked me if I wanna suck his dick????

easy bake oven: WHAT

deku bOKE: I ASKED IF HE HAD EVER THOUGHT ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE AND HE JUST OUT OF THE BLUE ASKED IF I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK

deku bOKE: I’m crying because I don’t know what it m e a n s

 

Private chat

That’s rough buddy >>>>>> deku bOKE

That’s rough buddy: Izuku?

deku bOKE: I’m here! I just,,,, ohmigod shouto

deku bOKE: Do you know what that means?

That’s rough buddy: That’s what Kirishima said. I told him that you asked if I’ve ever been in a relationship before and he said that’s code for I wanna suck your dick

That’s rough buddy: Is it not?

deku bOKE: N O

deku bOKE: I might as well just say it right now

deku bOKE: You’re a really nice friend and I adore you so much

deku bOKE: I look up to you so much and you’ve been a really nice friend to me at UA

deku boke: I just said friend twice

deku bOKE: I really like you Shouto, you’re an amazing boy that I’m lucky to have met, and I’m so thankful for what you’ve done for me and my friends

deku bOKE: And I think you’re amazing compared to me and I think you’ll become one of the biggest heroes out there

deku bOKE: And

deku bOKE: I, uh

deku bOKE: I love you Shouto

deku bOKE: More than just friends

deku bOKE: ,,,Shouto?

 

Private chat

That’s rough buddy >>>>>> Hard boi

That’s rough buddy: IZUKU JUST TOLD ME HE LOVED ME WHAT DO I DO

Hard boi: HOLY SHIT IT'S HAPPENING

Hard boi: OK SO TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM BACK

That’s rough buddy: ARE YOU SURE

Hard boi: YES NOW GO

 

Private chat

deku bOKE >>>>>> easy bake oven

deku bOKE: I did it

deku bOKE: I told him I loved him

deku bOKE: my life is over

easy bake oven: Oh my god you did it?! What did he say?!

deku bOKE: He hasn’t said anything back yet

easy bake oven: When he replies message me back!?

 

Private chat

 

That’s rough buddy >>>>>> deku bOKE

 

That’s rough buddy: I love you too

deku bOKE: So like,,,,does that make us boyfriend now,,,?

That’s rough buddy: I think so

deku bOKE: So like,,,you want to like,,,kiss me and all of that stuff?

That’s rough buddy: That’s how it works. Don’t worry I looked this up on Yahoo answers

 

‘UA school group chat’

Johnny test: my hand is stuck in a peanut butter jar

Johnny test: this is who i am now

Johnny test: please accept me for who i am

Literally a pair of headphones: what the fuck

Johnny test: i'm tired of fighting

deku bOKE: Guess who has a boyfriend now!!!💗😶😉

slip ‘n’ slide: DID YOU DO IT????

deku bOKE: YES

Here comes dat girl: Congratulations Midoriya

uwuravity: HOLY FUCK

Not on tape: TODODEKU IS CANON NOW BITCHES

These eyebags are gucci bitch: gay

Caught on tape: NICE ONE DEKU

Tenya Iida: Congratulations! Just remember not to follow Kirishima and Bakugou’s relationship examples!

Gunpowder gelatine: Took you long enough

Gunpowder gelatine: and only i call him deku fuck off

Hard boi: Way to go Izuku! It was great being todo’s wingman😉

easy bake oven: It was fun being Izuku’s wing woman!

Karate kid: lucky bitches

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

deku bOKE: Geez I had a hard time with practicing straight kicks with Iida today

Gunpowder gelatine: you should also work on making yourself straight as well

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Says the one who tempted Kiri yesterday

Hard boi: yOu Saw 0-0

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Oh so you did do it yesterday

Gunpowder gelatine: EI YOU IDIOT

11:09 Pm EST

slip ‘n’ slide: does anyone just ever

slip ‘n’ slide: wonder about aoyama's quirk

deku bOKE: yes

deku bOKE: I have a theory that aoyama is actually quirkless and his family got him that navel laser thing that was made for him and when he overuses it digs into his stomach which makes him have tummy aches

Hard boi: ,,,,thats,,,deep

razzle dazzle motherfucker: My! You’re right! I didn’t like being quirkless and different from everyone else~!

Gunpowder gelatine: sounds similar

Gunpowder gelatine: doesn't it d e k u

deku bOKE: I don't know what you’re talking about

razzle dazzle motherfucker: ??

Hard boi: …

slip ‘n’ slide: …

razzle dazzle motherfucker: …

These eyebags are gucci bitch: …

uwuravity: …

That’s rough buddy: …

Caught on tape: …

Not on tape: …

easy bake oven: …

Literally a pair of headphones: …

Here comes dat girl: …

Karate kid: …

two birds one hero: …

Soda: …

Animal crossing: …

Tenya Iida: …

Limbs for days: …

Johnny test: …

Johnny test: holy shit even koda and Iida did it

Tenya Iida: Language, Kaminari!

Caught on tape: not in this Christian server

Johnny test: even you sero

Johnny test: sero is no longer my bffaeuddupaaugsuihfgb

Karate kid: sorry your w h a t?

Caught on tape: best friend forever and ever until death do us apart and also until god smites us into hell for being gay

Johnny test: we added the gay part last year but the rest was from middle school

Karate kid: damn

Johnny test: but yeah im looking for a new bffaeuddpaaugsuihfgb

two birds one hero: he's actually gonna send out invitations so be ready

Johnny test: why you gotta put me out like this

Hard boi: @deku bOKE we should do that

deku bOKE: Yeah!

deku bOKE: Ei is my new bffaeuddpaaugsuihfgb!

uwuravity: you made tsuyu cry at how pure that is

Gunpowder gelatine: how many times do i have to tell you to stop calling him Ei

Hard boi changed Gunpowder gelatine name to Bakubro

Bakubro: y you do this to me babe

Caught on tape: quit being gay in the group chat

Bakubro: no

Bakubro: Also who the fuck is playing the sailor moon theme song so fucking loud

That’s rough buddy: no regrets

razzle dazzle motherfucker: So you, Todoroki, also appreciate the beauty of sailor moon~?

That’s rough buddy: that's the reason i became a hero

Johnny test: are you kidding me todo

That’s rough buddy: no i wanted my name to be sailor shouto with a sailor scout uniform but i wasn't allowed to

deku bOKE: and this was the moment where i fall in love

Hard boi: we should all dress up as sailor scouts one day

deku bOKE: Yesss!!!!

That’s rough buddy: Bakugou is sailor venus, Iida is sailor mercury, deku as sailor pluto, me as sailor moon, kiri as sailor mars and denki as sailor Jupiter and sero as sailor Uranus

Bakubro: why am i included in that list

deku bOKE: let's do it!!!

Hard boi: I'm already buying costumes

Not on tape: im crying omg guys

Caught on tape: y’all have your kinks in the weirdest ways

7:01 Am EST

Hard boi: Alright does everyone have their costumes on

Bakubro: i don't see why i'm included in this

deku bOKE: you can't escape now

deku bOKE: and yes!!

That’s rough buddy: denki Iida are you guys ready

Johnny test: im helping Iida get his on!

Johnny test: i hate how good it looks on me and honestly i could pass as a trap

Tenya Iida: I don’t know how I was included in this but Kaminari is right! My legs look great in a skirt!

Caught on tape: damn im fine in a skirt

That’s rough buddy: Alright squad rollout

11:03 Am EST

Not on tape: OMFG GUYS I'M ACTUALLY CRYING

Soda: YOU GUYS LITERALLY CAME TO CLASS IN SAILOR MOON OUTFITS

Literally a pair of headphones: hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET BAKUGOU TO AGREE

easy bake oven: WHY IS IIDA THERE

two birds one hero: you guys are my heroes next to Linkin park

razzle dazzle motherfucker: You look amazing~!

Here comes dat girl: AIZAWA IS LITERALLY CRYING GUYS

Soda: WHAT HAPPENED I WASNT THERE TODAY

Karate kid: DEKU, TODOROKI, SERO, DENKI, BAKUGOU, KIRI AND IIDA CAME TO CLASS IN SAILOR MOON OUTFITS

Karate kid: YOU BROKE AZIAWA

uwuravity: WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS

Bakubro: Todoroki’s

That’s rough buddy: let me live my dream

These eyebags are gucci bitch: what's your dad's email i need to send him the pic of all of you in your costumes

That’s rough buddy: enjitodorokitophero@gmail

That’s rough buddy: go ruin his dreams of having a normal son

Hard boi: we have taught him well

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou
Metal boi: Tetsutetsu

These eyebags are gucci bitch: how do i bail someone out of jail

slip ‘n’ slide: Whos in jail and what did they do?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Aizawa, he just said ‘details are irrelevant, come bail me out of jail’

slip ‘n’ slide: pSHH

Here comes dat girl: im not even surprised

Tenya Iida: I take responsibility as the new teacher, everyone better shut up before I pop a vein.

Bakubro: hes taking after Aizawa, its beautiful

slip ‘n’ slide: momo, jirou i got you that mcdonalds and ice cream you guys wanted

easy bake oven: Thank you Mina and Jirou you better not double dip again with the chicken nuggets

Literally a pair of headphones: you literally ate my ass last night and youre worried about me double dipping

easy bake oven: JIROU

Not on tape: THiNK aBOUT tHE cHILDrEN

deku bOKE: im guessing im the children

deku bOKE: im really not that innocent

deku bOKE: hey kacchan

Bakubro: wtf do you want

deku bOKE: if you think im trash you should just take me out

Not on tape: SORRY WHAT

easy bake oven: I just got you Todoroki damn

Tenya Iida: Midoriya! This is considered first-class cheating! I recommend you delete that and apologise!

Tenya Iida: Nevermind guys, he just got hacked.

Caught on tape: by who?

uwuravity: hehehehe

Here comes dat girl: Ochako why

uwuravity: he never got me that coffee for what i saw him and todoroki do one night

Not on tape: w h a t w e r t h e y d o i n g

uwuravity: pay me $15 and ill tell

slip ‘n’ slide: @Not on tape thats cute why dont you take me out

Not on tape: no

Not on tape: cause youre not trash

slip ‘n’ slide: bABE

Soda: miNA STOP SLIDING DOWN THE HALLWAYS I AM GOING TO HAVE A STROKE

12:34 Pm EST

Johnny test: guys i met drake on omegle

Not on tape: what

slip ‘n’ slide: pics or it didnt happen

Johnny test:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-aLkB2rdw97c/XFVGlaklPoI/AAAAAAAAJwA/mSVyrfcpvvk6Joiyqc119UEgapZLHFOJACL0BGAYYCw/h572/drake.png https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-MKV-Udi7sK0/XFVGp_eAphI/AAAAAAAAJwA/96RGVT9cUvsynbY9WfigTW8m90c0TelBQCL0BGAYYCw/h583/d%2Bra%2Bke.png https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-d4Y-LI2hAKM/XFVGtuSTltI/AAAAAAAAJwA/59zRdAFug-cTMafTCMmgmSwDvgIRaxLtwCL0BGAYYCw/h574/i%2Bchatted%2Bwith%2Bdrake.png

Hard boi: HOLYSHT

Johnny test: MY HAIR WAS DOWN AND HE THOUGHT I WAS A GIRL IM CRYING

Literally a pair of headphones: you lowkey look like a girl

Soda: i cant believe denki met an icon

Johnny test: he wanted me to send nudes and he would send passes down to his new show

Johnny test: so i freaked out and left because i have a dick

Johnny test: drake wanted to be my sugar daddy

deku bOKE: whats a sugar daddy?

That’s rough buddy: dont fucking say a single word

Not on tape: youre underage as well and you look very young in those pics

Not on tape: so technically you found out drake could be a pedo

Hard boi: im just thinking about when denki becomes a top hero and drake just sees him and goes “huh waIT A MINUTE”

slip ‘n’ slide: valid

3:04 Am EST

 

Johnny test: whats airport security like for tetsutesu

Hard boi: holy shit

two birds one hero: y’all woke

Hard boi: hang on i have his number ill add him

 

Hard boi added Metal boi to ‘UA school groupchat’

 

Metal boi: come on even our names are similar!

Hard boi: ffs

Johnny test: tetsutesu we need to ask you something

Metal boi: what is it

Johnny test: whats airport security like for you

Metal boi:

 

Metal boi has left ‘UA school groupchat’

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

Johnny test: hey bro

Caught on tape: yea bro

Johnny test: close your eyes bro

Caught on tape: ok bro

Johnny test: what do you see bro?

Caught on tape: nothing bro

Johnny test: thats my life without u bro

Caught on tape: b r o

Here comes dat girl: I literally shed a tear at that

These eyebags are gucci bitch: wtf

These eyebags are gucci bitch: go to sleep

Johnny test: its not even that late

Johnny test: hang on

Bakubro: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING DARUDE BY SANDSTORM EAR RAPE AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

Johnny test: you right its late

Johnny test: gn y’all

These eyebags are gucci bitch: i dedicate my life to this idiot

Johnny test: yeah but you love me <3

These eyebags are gucci bitch: im gonna say it

Here comes dat girl: hoe dont do it

Johnny test: my bf doesnt love me i knew it

Johnny test: im gonna be single forever

These eyebags are gucci bitch: wait no denki

Johnny test: i have no will to live anymore

Johnny test: wait

Johnny test: bro

Caught on tape: yea

Johnny test: be my boo

Caught on tape: sure

Johnny test: nice

Caught on tape: nice

These eyebags are gucci bitch: I NEVER BROKE UP WITH YOU

uwuravity: denki is cheating

Johnny test: IM NOT SINGLE NO MORE

These eyebags are gucci bitch: I NEVER BROKE UP WITH YOU WTF

Caught on tape: I stole ur man

Not on tape: SERO OUT HERE SNATCHING MANS

That’s rough buddy: please dont steal mine i love him more than anyone here

uwuravity: aw

Not on tape: TODOROKI THATS SO PURE

Caught on tape: I WONT TODO

Johnny test: im crying thats so pure

These eyebags are gucci: wish my boyfriend was still here

Johnny test: sO yOu dO lOvE mE

Johnny test: i knew it all along

Johnny test: the way you would look at me when i was with sero

These eyebags are gucci bitch: you and sero were together for 2 minutes

Johnny test: i knew that you truly loved me

Bakubro: ALL OF YOU GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Bakubro: AND DUNCE FACE

Johnny test: yEs

Bakubro: TURN YOUR FUCKING MUSIC OFF

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present Mic

Literally a pair of headphones: does anyone have aizawas number

Literally a pair of headphones: I want to get some extra lessons and i dont trust any of you twits

two birds one hero: oh no

Johnny test: I do!

These eyebags are gucci bitch: dont add dad

These eyebags are gucci bitch: please

Johnny test: but babe

These eyebags are gucci bitch: he doesnt know about me and you dating

Literally a pair of headphones: why not?

easy bake oven: I’m sure Aizawa would be very accepting of your and Kaminari’s relationship! He knows about me and Jirou

Johnny test has added iwant2die to ‘Class 1A’

These eyebags are gucci bitch: no its nots that

These eyebags are gucci bitch: oh fuck

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Denki why did you add him i told you not to

Johnny test: but babe

iwant2die: ...

iwant2die: what did i tell you not to do

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Fall in love with a loud bonde

iwant2die: and what did you do?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: Fall in love with a loud blonde

These eyebags are gucci bitch: pls dont ground me dad

Hard boi: SKSKSKSKSKSKSK

Caught on tape: I KNEW AIZAWA WAS YOUR DAD

That’s rough buddy: I knew you were Aizawa sensei’s secret love child

easy bake oven: Todoroki no

These eyebags are gucci bitch: fuck you all

Johnny test: what about me?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: youre an exception

These eyebags are gucci bitch: but im still mad at you for adding dad

Johnny test: ill add present mic

iwant2die: do that and ill expel you

Johnny test: …

These eyebags are gucci bitch: hoe dont do it

Johnny test has added YEAHHHH to ‘Class 1A’

YEAHHHH: HELLO STUDENTS!!!

iwant2die: quick we need a distraction
iwant2die: are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises

Johnny test: My time has come

Caught on tape: go boo

Johnny test: bOO<3<3<3

These eyebags are gucci bitch: i thought we were over this

Literally a pair of headphones: DENKI I SWEAR TO GOD

Bakubro: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP YOU DILDO FACTORY REJECT

Caught on tape: BAKUGOUUUOOUUFCYVGUYHIUJNHGVCFXDZSC

Literally a pair of headphones: I just wanted extra tutoring

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present Mic

Karate kid: man the training today hurt like a bitch

That’s rough buddy: you literally only have a tail to work with

Bakubro: i used way past my limit

Bakubro: my forearms fucking hurt

deku bOKE: *lying on the floor with 4 broken libs* oh you POOR BABY. should i call you a whAMBULANCE

Bakubro: I WILL MURDER YOU

Limbs for days: thats not very hero like of you Bakugou

two birds one hero: thats not very plus ultra of you Bakugou

slip ‘n’ slide: that wasnt very cash money of you

Bakubro: fuck you all i have 13 chocolate bars

deku bOKE: kacchan that isnt very healthy

Bakubro: neither is breaking every fucking bone in your body yet here we are

deku bOKE: i-

Hard boi: THATS MY BOO

Hard boi: also he doesnt mean it deku

Johnny test: chaos

Johnny test: beautiful

Literally a pair of headphones: this conversation went 3 different ways at once

Johnny test: theres only 3 ways to do things

Johnny test: the right way, the wrong way and the denki

Literally a pair of headphones: isnt the denki way just the wrong way

Johnny test: yeah but its faster

Literally a pair of headphones: i feel so much like a mother to you rn

Johnny test: i think you should be my mother too

Literally a pair of headphones: i dont wanna be your mother

Johnny test: great you’ve already got the lines down

iwant2die: im expelling all of you

Johnny test: weird flex but ok

That’s rough buddy: wHaT DOES THAT MeAN

Iwant2die: anyway, i think all of you should focus more on your school work then your hero work

Hard boi: why

iwant2die: because most of you are idiots

iwant2die: example

iwant2die: if you have 7 seats and 10 people what do you do?

deku bOKE: have everyone stand

Hard boi: get 3 more chairs

That’s rough buddy: have the best 7 sit down

Bakubro: kill 3

iwant2die: no

 

10:36 Pm EST

 

Bakubro: ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS PUT A SNAPPING TURTLE IN THE TOILETS

Johnny test: PLEASE TELL ME IT BIT YOUR ASS

Bakubro: IT BIT MY FUCKING BALLS

Here comes dat girl: Kirishima should rub cream on it im sure he’d love to do that

uwuravity: T S U Y U

slip ‘n’ slide: w h e e z e

Hard boi:...sis aint wrong

Literally a pair of headphones: IM LAUGHING SO MUCH I WOKE UP MOMO

Literally a pair of headphones: I CAN HEAR EXPLOSIONS

Johnny test: AWSRETDRYTFUGYIHOOJIHUGYFTYDRFGHHGYFTDRSTERYDTUFYIG

Not on tape: IM FUCKGN CRYING

slip ‘n’ slide: GUYS YOU BROKE TORUU

Johnny test: im going to marry whoever did that fr

 

That’s rough buddy >>> Johnny test

That’s rough buddy: it was me

Johnny test: SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS T O D O

 

‘Class 1A chat group’

These eyebags are gucci bitch: denkis a hoe who wanna swap with me

Not on tape: no u

Bakubro: fuck off

Caught on tape: ill sacrifice myself

Johnny test: am i flattered or insulted

These eyebags are gucci bitch: both

These eyebags are gucci >>>>>> Johnny test

These eyebags are gucci bitch: jk i love you<3

Johnny test: AWW BABE

Johnny test: why didnt you just say that in the groupchat tho?

These eyebags are gucci bitch: the lesbian pda power scares me

These eyebags are gucci bitch: they would overthrow us with their lesbian power

Johnny test: honestly same

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou

two birds one hero: does anyone realise that schools never teach us about safe homosexual sex

Hard boi: they told us about the birds and the bees but never the frogs

uwuravity: frogs?

Hard boi: u know how the frogs are gay because of the water

Here comes dat girl: valid

Limbs for days: at least you can have sex

deku bOKE: ???

Bakubro: Oh sweet Deku, slide into my dms and I tell you what it is (:

deku bOKE: Okay!!

Not on tape: HOE DONT DO IT

Caught on tape: rip deku

Johnny test: DEKU NO

Hard boi: WHY KATSUKI

Razzle dazzle motherfucker: Why does Midoriya know how to slide into someone’s dms?!~

easy bake oven: Why do you do this to my son

Literally a pair of headphones: bakugou you killed my only son

Literally a pair of headphones: i just got him back from karen

That’s rough buddy: if izuku really wanted to learn about it then im sure aizawa would tell him all about it

iwant2die: of course i would

iwant2die: as your teacher it is my duty and i would be fine with any of you coming to me for safe sex advice for any gender

iwant2die: we all know that if you all wanted a lesson on safe homosexual sex then id be fine with you taking one after school with hizashi and me

These eyebags are gucci bitch: dad im so proud

Limbs for days: we love a dadzawa

Johnny test: soft aizawa? Its more likely than you think

Johnny test: ok but seriously that actually means a lot to us

deku bOKE: id rather hear your explanation than kacchan’s it sounds much better

YEAHHHH: actually we should do that

iwant2die: depends all on the students

Literally a pair of headphones: id go

easy bake oven: Me too, I don’t want to accidentally hurt Jirou

Literally a pair of headphones: skskskssk thx babe

Bakubro: we all know you both arent virgins tf

Caught on tape: ill go even tho im still single, itll be good to know in general

Limbs for days: me and tokoyami would come

These eyebags are gucci bitch: denki and i would come

slip ‘n’ slide: at least y’all can see your girlfriend

slip ‘n’ slide: me and toruu are coming

slip ‘n’ slide: but first i need to locate the koochie

That’s rough buddy: I would come along, just don’t tell anyone else

iwant2die: dont worry todoroki, this will be a non judgemental space

iwant2die: anything that is said in this lesson will not be talked about outside

iwant2die: Well i guess that settles it

iwant2die: hizashi and i will talk more about it tonight

iwant2die: it will be on after school in your dorm common room

iwant2die: and if you dont wanna come then thats fine just dont disturb us

Johnny test: thanks dad!

YEAHHHH: Aizawa is currently on the floor choking

Literally a par of headphones: denki you broke him

Johnny test: well aizawa and present mic are obviously becoming my fathers-in-law so i might as well sart now

These eyebags are gucci bitch: I PROPOSED

These eyebags are gucci bitch: HOW DRUNK WAS I

Johnny test: you gave me a ringpop and said ‘ be my bitch forever so i can eat that bussy ‘

slip ‘n’ slide: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Not on tape: OMFG

Here come dat girl: IM FUCKING CRYING

uwuravity: WAEWSRDTFYGUHIJOKPMJNHBGVFCTDXRSAQEZSRXDCFVGBHNJMJNHBGV

Bakubro: wtf

Caught on tape: I HOPE YOU GET THAT BUSSY SOON SHINSOU😩😩😩😩😩

Tenya Iida: What is bussy?

That’s rough buddy: what shinsou is getting tonight

iwant2die: shinsou we need to have a talk

These eyebags are gucci bitch: fucking thanks guys

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci bitch: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou

Hard boi: where’s the best place where you can hide a body

Karate kid: in your tum tum

Soda: ojiro what the fuck

Thats’s rough buddy: hyrdogen peroxide dissolves blood btw

Bakubro: Do you think if you inserted that into their bloodstream it would kill them

YEAHHHH: you kids today with your texting and murder

Literally a pair of headphones: i know someone who could help with that

easy bake oven: Oh no

deku bOKE: NOT HIM

Literally a pair of headphones has added copycat and big hand gorl to ‘UA class group chat’

copycat: OH IF IT ISNT CLASS 1A

big hand gorl: you should be ashamed of yourself for adding him

These eyebags are gucci bitch: oh well we’re all depressed anyway

copycat: if you ever feel depressed just stop

big hand gorl: god u are so wise

Hard boi: anyway, how do hide a body monoma

copycat: im coming over ill help

Bakubro: stay away from my boyfriend’s room or ill blast your ass back to 1934

Hard boi: actually, monoma can come over

Hard boi: im still mad at you

deku bOKE: care to explain kacchan?

uwuravity: they were fighting under my window last night and kirishima kept screaming “BRO YOU CALLED ME A BOTTOM IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS BRO!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??!!!?! He sounded so heartbroken. Why would you do this bro

Bakubro: FUCK YOU TOO THEN

Karate kid: bro

Soda: bro

deku bOKE: why bro

Bakubro: FUCK ALL OF YOU

Johnny test: fuck me yourself you coward

Bakubro: what

Johnny test: what

These eyebags are gucci bitch: what about me hoe

Caught on tape: guess ill just die then

Soda: denki you hurt your boyfriend’s and side hoe’s feewings

iwant2die: denki, break my sons heart ill kill you

Johnny test: SHINSOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

iwant2die: thats more like it

Johnny test: I WILL GIVE YOU MY BUSSY SOON

iwant2die: nevermind

These eyebags are gucci bitch: ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS

Caught on tape: YES

Caught on tape: YOU WANTED MY BOOS BUSSY

Literally a pair of headphones: i hate you all

 

12:34 Pm EST

deku bOKE: im bored

Bakubro: punch an orphan

Bakubro: what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

deku bOKE: KACCHAN THATS AWFUL

Bakubro: well then stay bored slut

deku bOKE: IM NOT A SLUT

slip ‘n’ slide: you kinda are

Not on tape: yeah you are

Caught on tape: realize it man

Johnny test: dw deku you get used to it

Bakubro: dont call him deku

uwuravity: after last night, you are

Here comes dat girl: you guys are very loud

That’s rough buddy: …

big hand gorl: i love this class

iwant2die: im expelling you all

YEAHHHH: you wont

iwant2die: i wont

Hard boi: whipped

deku bOKE: im still bored

Johnny test: we should play a game

slip ‘n’ slide: smash or pass?

Here comes dat girl: our teachers are in this chat

copycat: WOW YOU GUYS CANT EVEN PLAY A SIMPLE GAME WITH BACKING OUT

copycat: CLASS 1B WOULD NEVER DO THAT

Bakubro: FUCKING WATCH US BITCH

Hard boi: shit

Bakubro: SMASH OR PASS, ME

slip ‘n’ slide: smash

big hand gorl: smash

Johnny test: smash

These eyebags are gucci bitch: smash

Hard boi: smash

deku bOKE: smash

That’s rough buddy: smash

uwuravity: smash

Here comes dat girl: smash

Bakubro: WAIT WHAT

Caught on tape: smash

Not on tape: smash

Literally a pair of headphones: smash

That’s rough buddy: you may be a fucking asshole but you are pretty hot

Johnny test: HOLY SHT EVEN MIDORYA SAID SMASH

deku bOKE: Well of course I would fight him!

two birds one hero: ...

Literally a pair of headphones: anyone says a single fucking word i will fuck you all up

Johnny test: yes mum

Literally a pair of headphones: im not your mother

Johnny test: sorry mom

copycat: SMASH OR PASS KENDOU

big hand gorl: monoma wtf

easy bake oven: smash

Hard boi: Momo?

Not on tape: DAMN

Caught on tape: THAT WAS LIKE STRAIGHT AWAY

easy bake oven: if i wasnt dating jirou id date kendou tbh

Literally a pair of headphones: same

big hand gorl: i feel so loved

These eyebags are gucci bitch: get used to it

Johnny test: smash or pass, deku

Bakubro: nobodys gonna do that nerd

big hand gorl: smash

copycat: smash

Literally a pair of headphones: smash

easy bake oven: smash

These eyebags are gucci bitch: smash

Johnny test: smash

uwuravity: smash

Bakubro: wha

That’s rough buddy: smash

Caught on tape: smash

Not on tape: smash

slip ‘n’ slide: smash

Hard boi: ID TOTALLY SMASH MIDORIYA

Hard boi: HARD SMASH

Here comes dat girl: smash

Tenya Iida: Although this whole thing is crude and innapropiate, I too would have sexual intercourse with Izuku

Bakubro: YOU TOO???

two birds one hero: smash

Limbs for days: smash

Karate kid: smash

Soda: smash

Animal crossing: Smash…..

Hard boi: EVEN KOUDA??? HOLY SHIT

Razzle dazzle motherfucker: Smash~!

deku bOKE: HUH

deku bOKE: i thought youd all go for shoto

Johnny test: you realize youre the pretty boyfriend too right?

deku bOKE:

deku bOKE: what

Johnny test: literally everyone would smash you

Johnny test: well besides aizawa and present mic but thats because that would be pedophilia if you did

deku bOKE: im going to bed all of you are breaking me

That’s rough buddy: do you want me to cuddle with you?

deku bOKE: yes

These eyebags are gucci bitch: goodnight everyone

Bakubro: WHY WOULD EVERYONE SMASH DEKU
Seen by ‘UA Class 1A group chat’

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetstetsu

That’s rough buddy: merry early christmas

two birds one hero: todoroki its march

Thats rough buddy: i said merry early christmas bitch

two birds one hero: fair point

That’s rough buddy: i left a gift for all of you

Johnny test: todororki did you seriously get everyone air pods

That’s rough buddy: yes

That’s rough buddy: it smelled a little too broke in here

uwuravity: OHMIGOD

slip ‘n’ slide: i cant tell if youre joking or not

These eyebags are gucci bitch: hey quick question

These eyebags are gucci bitch: the fuck

That’s rough buddy: i found my dads lost credit card so im making him bankrupt

easy bake oven: JIROU IS CRYING ON THE FLOOR HOLDING AIR PODS TO HER CHEST AND YELLING “I CAN’T USE THEM”

Literally a pair of headphones: I LITERALLY AM A PAIR OF HEADPHONES TODOROKI WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME THIS WAY

That’s rough buddy: you smell broke

iwant2die: todoroki i dont know if im proud of you or disappointed

That’s rough buddy: please be proud i need a father figure in my life

iwant2die: of course im proud

YEAHHHH: you made your teacher cry

These eyebags are gucci bitch has changed his name to These eyebags are gucci

These eyebags are gucci: you made my dad cry

These eyebags are gucci: how dare you

These eyebags are gucci: perish

That’s rough buy: i just wanted to use up my dads credit card

Bakubro: uraraka is broke give her the credit card

YEAHHHH: damn

slip ‘n’ slide: okay bakugou that was a bit too far

uwuravity: thats actually really sweet

uwuravity: bakugou cares about me y’all

Bakubro: of course i fucking do

Bakubro: i care about people im not a heartless person

deku bOKE: KACCHAN

slip ‘n’ slide: BAKUGOU IS MY NEW FAV

Hard boi: im proud of you katsuki

Bakubro: fuck off

Caught on tape: AWWWWWWWW

Not on tape: b a k u g o u

Johnny test: soft bakugou? Its more likely than you think

Here comes dat girl: do you actually care about everyone? Kero

Bakubro: i kinda have to

Bakubro: even deku, i guess

deku bOKE: AW KACCHAN

Bakubro: YOURE STILL A PUSSY

deku bOKE: ive been called worse

Bakubro: like what?

deku bOKE: your equal

Tenya Iida: Midoriya!

That’s rough buddy: this is the moment i fell in love

slip ‘n’ slide: FUCK IT UP MIDORIYA

Hard boi: damn

Hard boi: burn

uwuravity: IM FUCKING CRYING

iwant2die: this is progress

uwuravity: but im so glad bakugou has finally admitted that he loves us little shits

uwuravity: i sent good vibes your way bakugou. They’re comng, theres no way to stop them

Bakubro: thats the most threatning way ive ever been hyped up

Bakubro: but i still hate you all

Bakubro: im still gonna become the top hero above all you losers

Literally a pair of headphones: there he goes again

Bakubro: when i was little my mom told me that i would be on the top of the world

Bakubro: now it just narrowed down to me being on top of kirishima

iwant2die: do you realise that im here anymore

Bakubro: no

Iwant2die: quit being gay you gay disaster

Bakubro: gay people make me puke

That’s rough buddy: dont deepthroat so far then

Hard boi: BABE YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT YOU TOPPED ME

Bakubro: so

copycat: i love this

big hand gorl: monoma stay out of it

copycat: i can make it worse

copycat has added Metal boi to ‘UA class 1 A group chat’

Metal boi: not this again

big hand gorl: youve been here before?

Metal boi: yes they asked me what airport security is like for me

big hand gorl: 1A is fucking metal

Metal boi: so youve been dragged into this too huh

big hand gorl: to keep monoma out of trouble

Metal boi: thats my girl

copycat: MY WHAT IS THIS

big hand gorl: its affection bitch

Metal boi: so youre here too

copycat: yes

copycat: still dry, i see

Metal boi: still pretending your not hopelessly in love with me, i see

Hard boi: GO BRO

slip ‘n’ slide: im sorry but tetsutesu is my new gay best friend

Metal boi: im not gay?

Metal boi: me and kendou arent friends

big hand gorl: thats the worst way to tell people we’re dating

big hand gorl: hes like one of the few heteros here besides monoma but nobody cares about him

Here comes dat girl: valid

9:08 Pm EST

 

Not on tape: so i just got back from work right

Not on tape: and i was taking this families order and the dad looked busy so i was just started chatting with his sons and was like “oooh are you guys twins” and then i hear a voice from under the table “YOURE CLOSE MAMM” AND THEN THIS THIRD KID popped up and did some karate moves at me and the dad looked so tired

Not on tape: so i met identical triplets today

Hard boi: thats literally the only way to handle being a triplet

YEAHHHH: what if church was called jesus con

iwant2die: im this close to murdering you

Here comes dat girl: dont you just love our teachers

Metal boi: *wipes tear* beautiful

Bakubro: we aint with that ** roleplay shit

razzle dazzle mother fucker: *rawr~!* xD :p

Bakubro: im going to murder that blonde twink

uwuravity: uwu nyah!~

Bakubro: i take back everything good i ever said about you

uwuravity: guess ill just die

big hand gorl: get used to it

Tenya Iida: You all should be doing your homework

Tenya Iida: All of you are giving me gray hairs

easy bake oven: Same

Johnny test: THERE WAS HOMEWORK???

Tenya Iida: Yes there is

Johnny test: kill me

deku bOKE: I could help you with it!

Johnny test: MIDORIYA YOU ANGEL

deku bOKE: :)

Johnny test: I would say that i love u but your boyfriend my boyfriend and my side hoe are in this chat

Caught on tape: smh i thought we had something

These eyebags are gucci: suck it sero

Johnny test: i never said which one is which

Limbs for days: why does denki have a harem

Johnny test: i mean look at me

Limbs for days: what am i looking at exactly

Johnny test: meanie

Johnny test: youre not coming to my birthday party

Limbs for days: oh no what shall i do

Limbs for days: my life is over because i am not invited to pikachus birthday party where i doubt anyone will go

Bakubro: hey octopus quit talking shit about pikachu

Johnny test: THANK YOU BAKUGOU

uwuravity: bakugou you’ve been so sweet lately

Bakubro: no i havent

Hard boi: its because hes trying to get me back

That’s rough buddy: are you still mad at him for calling you a bottom in front of the whole class

big hand gorl: hun we been knew

Bakubro: its true

Bakubro: and im not trying to get him back

Bakubro: im at mcdonalds you sluts want anything

deku bOKE: A happy meal!

slip ‘n’ slide: my usual

Hard boi: your dick

Limbs for days: frozen coke

Johnny test: me and shinsou want a big mac each

uwuravity: can you get an ice cream for me and tsuyu each please?<3

Literally a pair of headphones: Momo wants a big mac

Literally a pair of headphones: shes addicted

easy bake oven: It’s for my quirk I swear

Hard boi: katsuki how are you gonna pay for all of that

Bakubro: i have a sugar daddy

Hard boi:

Bakubro: and its me because im a self-sustaining bitch

uwuravity: beautiful

Johnny test: mood

Bakubro: HOLY SHIT WHY IS IT SO BUSY

deku bOKE: dont die

Bakubro: dont tell me what to do

That’s rough buddy: recommend a book that made you cry im bored

Hard boi: general maths 6th edition

slip ‘n’ slide: home economics 2nd book

Not on tape: no wonder you cried last time you were there you burnt the water and somehow set the toaster on fire

slip ‘n’ slide: baBE

Not on tape: get wrecked bitch

Tenya Iida: I’m this close to leaving this school

Johnny test: NO DAD DONT LEAVE

Tenya Iida: Guess I’m a father now

easy bake oven: Wait I thought me and Jirou were your moms

Johnny test: you are

Johnny test: but iida is my dad

slip ‘n’ slide: i hate this fucking family

uwuravity: no you dont

slip ‘n’ slide: no i dont

Bakubro: fuck you all

Here comes dat girl: fuck me yourself you coward

iwant2die: tsuyu nO

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetstetsu

deku bOKE: i have this pretty rock kacchan gave me

Bakubro: i threw it at you

deku bOKE:

deku bOKE: anyway, until i was rudely interupted, i have a pretty rock

deku bOKE: i painted it red and white and it reminds me of todoroki and the canadian flag

That’s rough buddy: i am a canadian flag

Literally pair of headphones: also bakugou if you touch my son i will murder you

uwuravity: i have quite a lot of dirt on him

Literally a pair of headphones: share in our group chat

Bakubro: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

 

‘lets go lesbians’

uwuravity: bakugou is a bottom but he just covers it up

Not on tape: THE TEA

Literally a pair of headphones: fucking knew it

Here comes dat girl: nice

deku bOKE: you didnt all know?

easy bake oven: I forgot Midoriya was still in this chat

deku bOKE: im never left and i dont plan to

deku bOKE: lesbians are smart af

Literally a pair of headphones: exactly

Here comes dat girl: just not that lesbian

Not on tape: do you guys realize that im bi and not les?

deku bOKE: hUH

Here comes dat girl: ,,,sorry,,,what,,,

Literally a pair of headphones: what

slip ‘n’ slide: i knew that

easy bake oven: Thank you for informing us Hagakure

deku bOKE: my life is a lie

slip ‘n’ slide: ha get wrecked

deku bOKE: You know what this means hagakure

Not on tape: what?

deku bOKE: we can be the bi duo

Not on tape: HOLY SHIT U RIGHT

Not on tape: WE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE LESBIANS

deku bOKE: YES

Not on tape: WE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN SHAGGY

slip ‘n’ slide: whoa dont go that far

deku bOKE: dont make me use 5% of my power

slip ‘n’ slide: deku no

 

‘UA Class 1A group chat’

Johnny test: did everyone just die or something

These eyebags are gucci: i wish

Johnny test: babe nO

Caught on tape: i thought i was your babe

These eyebags are gucci: ARE WE STILL DOING THIS

iwant2die: son your boyfriend is a fuckboy

YEAHHHH: you cant really say much about yourself youve probably slept with every one of the stuff at AU

iwant2die: shut your mouth if you still wanna get laid

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetstetsu
Midthot: Midnight
Mt thot: Mt Lady

Caught on tape: if uraraka and shigiraki high fived each other at the same time, shigiraki would disentagrate her finger pads the exact moment he makes him float so she wouldn’t be able to press all of her 10 finger pads down to get shigiraki down so tomura will never be able to get down and uraraka has lost her quirk

Karate kid: buddy,,,,what

uwuravity: I-

Johnny test: babe thats so smart

These eyebags are gucci: smart

slip ‘n’ slide: i love you

Caught on tape: did you also know that the inside of your butt is warm enough to boil an egg

slip ‘n’ slide: nevermind

Hard boi: sero i am going to kick you

Caught on tape: thats not very cash money of you

slip ‘n’ slide: THATS MY LINE

Not on tape: i support you sero

Johnny test: i support you supporting sero

Caught on tape: i support denki for supporting mina who is supporting me

Bakubro: I’m stopping this here

Literally a pair of headphones: thank you bakugou

big hand gorl: bakugou is like that annoying but useful older brother of 1A

copycat: sounds similar doesnt it? hm?

big hand gorl: I-

Metal boi: fuck off kazoo kid look alike

Tenya Iida: This is giving me grey hairs

big hand gorl: so basically me and bakugou are the older siblings of you little shits

Karate kid: yes

Bakubro: What the fuck

Bakubro: Jirou is already like my little sister tbh

Johnny test: but jirou is my mum

Literally a pair of headphones: im not your mother

Johnny test: see

big hand gorl: this family is fucked

Bakubro: why do i have to be denki’s grandad?

Metal boi: i feel so out of place rn

Bakubro: good

Hard boi: katsuki!

Bakubro: im still not talking to you

Bakubro: four months Ei….

Deku bOKE: what’s he talking about?

Hard boi: um

Bakubro: you watched me water a fake plant for four months...

Bakubro: anD YOU DIDNT TELL ME IT WAS FAKE

Hard boi: IF I DID YOU WOULD OF STARTED CRYING

Bakubro: NO I WOULDNT

Hard boi: THATS WHAT YOU DID

copycat: OH SO BAKUGOU CANT EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE OF A FAKE PLANT AND A REAL PLANT THAT SAYS A LOT ABOUT CLASS 1A

Karate kid: monoma you better run

Bakubro: FUCK OFF KAZOO KID

Animal crossing: if you all dont shut the fuck up i will set mosquitos on you

Bakubro: I-

slip ‘n’ slide:....

easy bake oven: Did Koda just. . . . . swear?

Caught on tape: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Not on tape: HOLY SHIT

Here comes dat girl: the world is going out of balance i can feel it

uwuravity: sredtfyguhijgfdrsweasedtrfguyihohufdssdrfuioytrewasdrtyuiytrhgfsdghjkhgfdh

Deku bOKE: OMG

Hard boi: THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING

Literally a pair of headphones: we have finally corrupted kouda

Johnny test: kouda swearing is like lance and keith actually getting together in the series

Hard boi: wh- are you okay?

Johnny test: its from voltron you uncultered swine johnny test: i binge watched the whole series in one night Deku bOKE: Denki there's 8 seasons

uwuravity: denki thats not healthy

deku bOKE: shes right you dont wanna become as sleep deprived as shinsou

These eyebags are gucci: thanks midoriya

Literally a pair of headphones: the last time i saw shinsou was when he was sleeping on the roof with a pikachu plushie

Hard boi: why were you on the roof

Johnny test: ok firstly, that was a one time thing and i wont become too sleep deprived dont worry yall and second of all, did you take any pictures? Jirou, please, for the love of shiros spirit resting in the black lion, please say you did

Literally a pair of headphones: wha

big hand gorl: i just got a whiplash from how fast this conversatin went from kouda swearing to denkis thirst for pictures of shinsou sleeping with cats

Karate kid: you get used to it after a while

big hand gorl: you are all cryptids

YEAHHHH: this reeks of disaster, i love it

 

These eyebags are gucci changed the group chat name to disaster gays

Here comes dat girl: i hate how true that is

uwuravity: dont agree with the men, thats too hetero

Here comes dat girl: oh shit you rite

These eyebags are gucci: hetero? Ew

Metal boi: .-.

Johnny test: Watch me short circuit as I become increasingly gayer for Shinsou

These eyebags are gucci: I would be touched but i dont have enough sleep for this

iwant2die: you never get any sleep

these eyebags are gucci: exactly

Metal boi: mood

Hard boi: mood

Metal boi: bitch i swear to god-

Hard boi: bro dont do that to the lord

Hard boi: hes the one who decides if we go to hell, right? Im not religous

big hand gorl: idk but i highly doubt any of us besides midoriya are going to heaven

uwuravity: midoriya is definitely going to heaven

Here comes dat girl: hes too good for this world anyway

two birds one hero: midoriya is too good for heaven you fools

two birds one hero: hes like the sun, if he falls into hell i presume the world would become out of whack

That’s rough buddy: tokoyami understands me, we should be friends

Johnny test: daily news, hot topic bird befriends prince zuko 2.0 after complimenting his fucking too adorable for this world boyfriend

Here comes dat girl: beautiful

big hand gorl: i like this one, can i keep him?

These eyebags are gucci: that ones mine fuck off

iwant2de: take him

Metal boi: no kendou you cant take the child

big hand gorl: correction, can we keep him

Metal boi:

Metal boi: yes

Johnny test: kendou and tetsutetsu are my parents now, sorry to disappoint you mom and dad

Literally a pair of headphones: you already disappointed me

Deku bOKE: thats not very hero like of you jirou

slip ‘n’ slide: thats not very cash money of you

big hand gorl: correction, can we keep them all?

Metal boi: kendou nO

big hand gorl: kendou yES

copycat: wow i feel like a plastic bag slowly melting underneath a jug

That’s rough buddy: i was that plastic bag at 8

deku bOKE: todoroki we talked about this

That’s rough buddy: screw this imma make some cocktails

two birds one hero: wasn’t your cocktails just 5 hour energy, redbull, monster, nyquil and melted gum?

That’s rough buddy: yes

These eyebags are gucci: i wanna do that

iwant2die: as your dad, i am permitting you from doing that

These eyebags are gucci bitch: that just makes me wanna do it even more

Johnny test: shinsou i will break up with you if you do that

These eyebags are gucci: im still gonna do it

iwant2die: shinsou, imagine a world without denki as your boyfriend

These eyebags are gucci:

These eyebags are gucci:,,,,fuck,,

That’s rough buddy: img.shinsou.on.the.ground.holding.a.pikachu.plush.to.his.chest.while.sobbing1423img

Johnny test: im coming to hug my boyfriend

Literally a pair of headphones: gay

Johnny test: what about that time you hadnt got enough sleep for weeks and you were peforming surgery on a ukelele at a waffle house, then you threw the ukelele at the waiter because they wouldnt give you a phone to call 911, jirou

Literally a pair of headphones: WHY DO YOU REMEMBER THAT THAT WAS LIKE 2 YEARS AGO

Literally a pair of headphones: THEN YOU ASKED ME WHAT THE NUMBER FOR 911 IS SO BITCH YOU AINT SLICK

Johnny test: i started snorting on my redbull and a pretty waiter looked at me at the same time and i started crying

Caught on tape: plot twist, i was that pretty waiter

big hand gorl: i want them all

Literally a pair of headphones: what about that time you yelled at the ceiling because it wasnt falling on you and killing you instantly before aizawa wrapped his scarf around your mouth

Caught on tape: bondage?

big hand gorl: bondage

iwant2die: i hate you all

iwant2die: except you midoriya and shinsou, youre doing great sweetie

Deku bOKE: thank you sensei

These eyebags are gucci: thanks dad

YEAHHHH: IM YOUR DAD TOO YOU KNOW

These eyebags are gucci: i have a loud cokatoo radio host and a yellow sleeping bag version of the caterpillar off alice in wonderland as my dads

Johnny test: dude the caterpillar dude was high like 420% of the time

iwant2die: relate

YEAHHHH: shouta nO

copycat: ,,i,have an idea,,

Bakubro: we dont wanna hear it

 

copycat has added Midthot to ‘disaster gays’

 

Midthot: god the name is beautiful

iwant2die: oh great

Midthot: well hello to you to Aizawa, long time no see

iwant2die: i saw you 2 days ago

Midthot: time passes when youre having fun

iwant2die: thanks

iwant2die: you seemed like you were having fun that night 2 days ago but please, continue

easy bake oven: DSFGHslutFHGJHKJ

Deku bOKE: Hello Midnight!

Midthot: Hello pure child! Aizawa i hope you’re protecting this one

iwant2die: thats todoroki’s job

That’s rough buddy: touch him ill murder your parents

These eyebags are gucci: please do

YEAHHHH: well fuck you too

Midthot: Present mic is here as well? Damn, must be a good group chat

big hand gorl: not really

Midthot: Who are you all anyway?

Deku bOKE: We’re class 1A at UA plus a few teachers and 1B students

Deku bOKE: ive been in the news a lot lately but im Izuku Midoriya from Class 1A!

That’s rough buddy: Todoroki shouto, class 1A

These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou hitoshi, class 1A

uwuravity: Uraraka Ochako, class 1A

Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu Asui, class 1A

easy bake oven: Momo Yaoyarozu, class 1A

slip ‘n’ slide: Mina Ashido, class 1

Not on tape: Hagakure Tooru, class 1A

Caught on tape: Sero Hanta, class 1A

Soda: Satou Rikido, class 1A

Bakubro: Bakugou fucking Katsuki, class 1A

Hard boi: Kirishima Eijirou, class 1A

Metal boi: Tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, class 1B

copycat: Monoma Neito, class 1B

big hand gorl: Kendou Itsuka, class 1B

Tenya Iida: Tenya Iida, class 1A

Bakubro: well no shit

razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama, class 1A~

two birds one hero: Tokoyami, class 1A

Limbs for days: Shouji Mezo, class 1A

Literally a pair of headphones: Jirou Koyoka, class 1A

Karate kid: Ojiro Mashirao, class 1A

Johnny test: Kaminari Denki, class 1A

Animal crossing: Koda, class 1A

Midthot: you are all so cute

Midthot: im adopting them all

big hand gorl: i can tell we’re gonna be friends

Karate kid: looks like we’re adding literally everyone in the whole hero world jesus christ like just add endeavor at this point

That’s rough buddy: if any of you do, i will burn you to a crisp in front of your whole family

Midthot: damn

easy bake oven: Midnight, may I ask a question?

Midthot: yes child

easy bake oven: Are the rumors floating around the internet true?

Midthot: what rumors?

easy bake oven: That you and Mt Lady were making out on a Interviewer's office desk when he left you two alone for a second

Johnny test: pSHSHHBSBH

YEAHHHH: Midnight you horny bitch

easy bake oven: But are the rumors true?

Midthot: well

Midthot: yeah

YEAHHHH: Midnight!

Midthot: what? Shes hot

iwant2die: shinsou pay up bitch

These eyebags are gucci: really midnight? You couldnt wait a few more weeks to admit it?

Midthot: YOU SHOULDNT BE GAMBLING ON MY LOVE LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE

Deku bOKE: Honeslty, i shipped you guys like in mt lady’s first debut

Deku bOKE: which was 4 years ago since we’re in our 3rd year now

Midthot: they grow up so fast

Bakubro: i know, its disgusting

Midthot: so thats the angry blonde kid who wont chill

uwuravity: yep

Midthot has added Mt thot to ‘disaster gays’

Mt thot: ??

Midthot: Welcome to gay disaster land

Midthot: aka, our 23 new children

Mt thot: I TOLD YOU TO STOP ADOPTING CHILDREN

Midthot: BUT THEYRE ALL SO CUTE

Mt thot: NEMURI WE CANT AFFORD THIS SHIT

Midthot: bitch always ‘forgets’ her wallet

Mt thot: shut up if you still wanna get laid

These eyebags are gucci: reminds me of someone, right dad

iwant2die: shut up

Mt thot: Eraserhead?

iwant2die: why does everyone just automatically know me by my username?

Mt thot: your the most suicidal hero ive ever seen

Mt thot: youre also known for having the hugest daddy kink in the industry

Mt thot: that is also known from expirence

Johnny test: WHEEZE

easy bake oven: THE CHILDREN

Deku bOKE: since when did aizawa sleep with mt lady?

Bakubro: AIZAWA YOU SLUT

Tenya Iida: Screw this all I’m moving to mars

big hand gorl: you cant escape us

Metal boi: we’re coming after you

Soda: this is abuse

Karate kid: i hate you all

Karate kid: except midoriya

easy bake oven: Nobody hates Midoriya

easy bake oven: Well maybe Bakugou

Bakubro: i dont hate deku anymore, im not a complete brat

Bakubro: you should all know at this point that if im being an asshole, ignore it cause i dont mean it

slip ‘n’ slide: praise the soft bakugou

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of earphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetstetsu
Midthot: Midnight
(tit)an: Mt Lady
Vine is dead: Ibara

copycat: how many brain cells do you think class 1A still has left

Caught on tape: Why are you here again?

iwant2die: i have a list

Mt thot: is that the one from the staff night over at yours?

iwant2die: yes

Deku bOKE: If it was a staff’s night out then why were you there? Not trying to be rude or anything of course!

Mt thot: Nemuri brought me along

Mt thot: and dont worry child you could never be rude

Midthot: and y’all still didn’t catch on that we were dating

These eyebags are gucci: normies

Iwan2die: assuming while we’re still on the subject of braincells

iwant2die: kaminari has only one braincell and its currently on autopilot

Literally a pair of headphones: true

Johnny test: i feel attacked

iwant2die: bakugou has 3 braincells and they’re all angry asian grandmothers

Bakubro: NO THEYRE FUCKING NOT

iwant2die: koda has a solid 70 but the most unsocial one is driving

Animal crossing: ...is that a good thing?

Literally a pair of headphones: DONT WORRY WE STILL LOVE YOU KODA

uwuravity: koda youre doing great sweetie

iwant2die: mina has exactly 2 and they’re both lesbians

slip ‘n’ slide: thanks teach

iwant2die: shinsou has one, it likes sleep and kaminari only

Johnny test: ONE (BI)G FAT UWU

These eyebags are gucci: dad why did you out me out like this

iwant2die:

iwant2die: moving on

iwant2die: kirishima has at least 70 but they only drink protein shakes and don’t get along very well

Bakubro: fucking say that again i dare you

Hard boi: Bakubabe has got my back hoes

Literally a pair of headphones: gay

iwant2die: jirou has 3 and 2 are sipping some dumbasses juice and the one left is trying to save her reputation but is also too gay to function

Literally a pair of headphones: I-

Bakubro: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Johnny test: GET REKT JIROU

iwant2die: hagakure’s last braincell evacuated recently but they left an mp3 player playing lady gaga’s americano on repeat

Not on tape: i hate how true that is

iwant2die: aoyama has 80 but they’re in cliques

Johnny test: i cant believe youve done this

iwant2die: sero has 4 and they’re all weebs

Caught on tape: …..but anime is sum good shit

iwant2die: momo has 70 and they’re all holding a spelling bee compitition

easy bake oven: At least they’re learning unlike these twits

Johnny test: I-

iwant2die: deku has 3 existential millenial braincells who narrate their life on tumblr using all might gifs

Limbs for days: damn

Deku bOKE: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY TUMBLR

Caught on tape: deku everyone knows about your tumbr

These eyebags are gucci: yeah its pretty obvious

uwuravity: you should see his ao3 account

Johnny test: his whAT NOW

iwant2die: tsuyu has 4 and they’re all trying their best

Here comes dat girl: and they all dropped their crossiant, kero

iwant2die: todoroki has 50 but one big gay controls them all

That’s rough buddy: Wow I got more than 8

Bakubro: surprising right? Its like aizawa has a thing for kids with daddy issues

Deku bOKE: kacchan that’s mean!

iwant2die: tetsutetsu has 1 that only knows how to say bro every five minutes

Metal boi: valid but why am i on that list?

iwant2die: i was so fucking pissed and drunk writing this list, what do you interpret from that?

Metal boi: im sorry for your loss

iwant2die: ojirou has 8, one for each rihanna album

Karate kid: rihanna is a fucking queen dont @me

Here comes dat girl: @Karatekid

Karate kid: hoe

iwant2die: tokoyami has one that is responsible for everything and is doing its best

two birds one hero: you forget the other two, one souly for linken park and one for shouji

Limbs for days: I thought I told you to give up linken park

two birds one hero: no

iwant2die: mt lady has one and its an emotionally unstable bottom who controls all their actions

Mt thot: who said i was a bottom

midthot: me

iwant2die: midnight

iwant2die: Iida had a solid 100 but they’re all slowly leaving him

Tenya Iida: It’s because of this class

Johnny test: smh i thought you loved us

iwant2die: midnight has one but its on crack and twerking violently

Midthot: I HAVE 2 THANK YOU VERY MUCH

iwant2die: all might has 23 but they keep deflating on him

That’s rough buddy: dont talk about izuku’s dad like that

iwant2die: shouji has 80, 40 of them are screaming “LOOK ALIVE!” and the other 40 are either hiding or vigirously hissing from naps

iwant2die: satou has 7 and they’re all on a sugar high

Soda: its for my quirk i swear

iwant2die: kendou has 70 but 6 leave every time she stops monoma from doing some kind of bullshit

big hand gorl: for bull shit like this? Im on it

copycat: KENDOU nO

big hand gorl: KENDOU yES

Karate kid: wow i never knew kendou was our saviour

Metal boi: of course she is you mere mortal

Midthot: she takes after her mother

Mt thot: NEMURI WE HAVE NOT ADOPTED THE CHILD

Midthot: well of course not

Midthot: we’ve adopted them all

Mt thot: i am so done with your shit

Mt thot: also i need everyone’s attention for a quick min

Bakubro: make it quick you fucking titan

Mt thot has changed their name to (tit)an

(tit)an: thanks for the name kid

Literally a pair of headphones: beautiful

Limbs for days: mt lady confirmed the titan that ate erens mom

(tit)an: i have no idea what youre talking about but anyway, which one of you little shits leaked me and nemuri’s secret

Midthot: YOU SNITCHERS

Midthot: AND WE’VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A CHAPTER

Bakubro: WHICH ONE OF LITTLE YOU FUCKS DID IT

Not on tape: not to be bakugou but bakugou why are you defending midnight and mt lady?

Bakubro: i fucking hate it when women are disrespected

Bakubro: it really pisses me off

uwuravity: really huh

Here comes dat girl: its true, one time me and him were at the ice cream shop downtown and we heard some first year kids from our school calling you a slut because you got rejected by deku and then you started dating me afterwards as a rebound

Here comes dat girl: they all left with very severe injuries and a lot of burn marks

Limbs for days: Bakugou did that?

easy bake oven: I usually do not condone violence but that was very sweet of you Bakugou

uwuravity: you did that for me?

uwuravity: thank you bakugou

Bakubro: whatever

slip ‘n’ slide: i find it so pure that tsuyu and bakugou get ice cream together

Bakubro: tsuyu knows the owner so we get huge discounts

Johnny test: hey tsuyu, can i come with you and bakugou to get some ice cream next weekend?

Here comes dat girl: of course, kero

Caught on tape: i just finished watching angel beats

Caught on tape: i want to cry

two birds one hero: angel beats ripped my fucking heart out

Limbs for days: i thought you didnt have a heart

two birds one hero: oh you right

Deku bOKE: Angel beats? Me and kacchan watched that when we were younger!

Bakubro: deku cried at the end like a pussy

Deku bOKE: BECAUSE ITS SAD KACCHAN

Deku bOKE: AND YOU CRIED AS WELL

Deku bOKE: YOU CRY JUST AS MUCH AS ME

Bakubro: YEAH BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN TELL EVERYONE YOU FUCKING RETARD

Hard boi: is everything alright bakugou?

Hard boi: you never usually cry

Metal boi: protective bf

Bakubro: i have this weird self esteem issue where i hate myself but i also think im better thank everyone else

slip ‘n’ slide: smae

Not on tape: babe no

slip ‘n’ slide: babe yes

big hand gorl: i just randomly remembered out of the blue back in middle school there was this kid called ugonna and everytime he got pizza i was like “ugonna eat that?” and i guess i was kinda harassing him and the principal made me buy him a pizza for harassment and the next day i was like “ugonna pay me back?” and that was the time i got stabbed with a plastic fork

Midthot: i like this one

Metal boi: this disaster is my girlfriend

copycat: how the fuck does that thing have a girlfriend

Bakubro: monoma i will blast your ass back to 1436

big hand gorl: monoma i will shove my hand so far up your ass i could use you as a puppet

Karate kid: nice

Johnny test: kinky

easy bake oven: Guys

easy bake oven: I’m in line getting denny’s for me, Jirou, Kirishima and Bakugou for our double sleepover date and then dude is behind me and like lightly touching around my hips and like really close to me

Literally a pair of headphones: fucking kick his ass

Hard boi: bakugou lets murder him

iwant2die: Momo, tell him to back off and if he doesn’t or talks back, tell him firmly and if he still doesn’t move and makes a move you have permission to knock him out and bring him to me and you should know what happens when someone disrespects one my students

These eyebags are gucci: dadzawa mode activated

easy bake oven: Thank you Aizawa, but I think I will be okay by myself. You taught us well if that makes you feel any better

Literally a pair of headphones: If he does anything to momo i will murder him with bakugou and kirishima

Literally a pair of headphones: momosquad, roll call

Here comes dat girl: tsuyu here

Limbs for days: shouji here

Literally a pair of headphones: Jirou here

That’s rough buddy: Todoroki here

big hand gorl: Kendou here

Literally a pair of headphones: momo i have the squad ready

Literally a pair of headphones: we can roll out

Literally a pair of headphones: momo?

Literally a pair of headphones: momo?!

iterally a pair of headphones: shes not responding

(tit)an: midnight we’re pro heroes

(tit)an: we need to go to her

(tit)an: she might need help

iwant2die: no dont

(tit)an: Do you want her to be in serious trouble aizawa?!

iwant2die: no of course not

(tit)an: then why cant we go to her?!

iwant2die: if you go you’ll just make it worse, momo is a very strong girl and she can handle herself

iwant2die: if you and midnight go, it’ll cause a lot of attraction and paprazzi, making the rumors even more worse on your behalf and giving the guy more time to do whatever he wants to do to momo

iwant2die: drug her, poison her, knock her out without her knowing or using his quirk on her, you’ll make those small possibilities worse than they are

(tit)an: ….i guess you’re right

iwant2die: of course i am

iwant2die: but momo will be fine, she can handle herself very well

That’s rough buddy: one time she used me as a bench press

That’s rough buddy: she can do 150 with me

Metal boi: i feel very sorry for that creepy dude

Literally a pair of headphones: momo wont answer her phone

Literally a pair of headphones: im calling her nonstop

Literally a pair of headphones: what if shes in trouble?!

Bakubro: jirou, stop fucking worrying about your girlfriend, she has huge boobs and a small waist of course shes gonna get guys of all ages trying to hit on her thats just our shitty society, but you of all people should know that she can beat all of their asses in the span of 3 seconds of less

Bakubro: she could never be in danger considering her quirk so stop fucking worrying about her like a pussy

Bakubro: you’re doing a deku

Literally a pair of headphones: you’re right

Literally a pair of headphones: thanks bakugou

Bakubro: whatever

Caught on tape: i wish i was there, so i could see momo kicking ass in action

slip ‘n’ slide: havent you been watching her for the past 3 years?

slip ‘n’ slide: shes fucking amazing

Caught on tape: yeah but i never want to miss an oppotunity

big hand gorl: ugh, so gay for her

Metal boi: get you a girl who will not only let you look at other woman, but check them out as well and agree on their hotness

uwuravity: well almost everyone agrees that momo is hot

Here comes dat girl: especially mineta

Not on tape: ew not that grape boi

YEAHHHH: Glad we expelled him

Tenya Iida: Everyone! You don’t need to worry about Momo! She will be alright.

Hard boi: it was just mt lady and jirou

Hard boi: everyone else knows she could beat his ass

Hard boi: like sero and hagakure were literally just talking about it

Johnny test: Iida you’re a bit late

Literally a pair of headphones: mina is currently cuddling me for support

Literally a pair of headphones: hagakure im taking your girlfriend if momo survives

Not on tape: she gives good hugs

Not on tape: momo wont die

These eyebags are gucci: momo is god

These eyebags are gucci: god doesnt die

Literally a pair of headphones: you right

Literally a pair of headphones: but still

Literally a pair of headphones: that was a warning hagakure

Literally a pair of headphones: i might take your bitch if my bitch dies

Not on tape: bet

easy bake oven: I never knew this would cause so much panic, I’m fine don’t worry!

Literally a pair of headphones: you scared me

Literally a pair of headphones: bitch

(tit)an: Okay good you’re alright

midthot: oh yuu~ ;)

(tit)an: JUST BECAUSE I WORRY ABOUT HER DOESNT MEAN SHES OUR CHILD

midthot: YES IT DOES

midthot: but anyway, we’re glad you’re safe

Metal boi: what happened anyway?

easy bake oven: I told him to back off and he didn’t so I told him again in a harsher voice and he grabbed my wrist and said into my ear “Why darling? A girl like you shouldn’t talk to guys like me, with that body and uselessness charm of a woman you should be scared to death right now. Just listen closely to me and you won’t get hurt.” I felt a blade brush against my thigh and i realized he had a knife in his sleeve. And then I grabbed his wrist and threw him over my shoulder

Johnny test: HOLY SHIT

These eyebags are gucci: remind me to never mess with momo ever

These eyebags are gucci: more proof that momo is god

midthot: thats my girl

iwant2die: i told you she could handle herself

Literally a pair of headphones: THATS MY GIRLFRIEND

big hand gorl: this is the girl who said she would smash me guys

big hand gorl: god would smash me

big hand gorl: what happened after that?

easy bake oven: He landed on a table and fell off, he got up with the most mad look on his face I have ever seen. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and were looking over. He took the knife out of his arm which had stabbed him before and he ran to this little girl near me yelling, “If you won’t listen, I’ll take this little girl instead!” I quickly grabbed the girl and punched him in the face before he could reach her. He fell down and everyone started clapping and cheering. The little girl looked up at me from my arms with the most cutest look ever, and said to me “Thank you for saving me! You’re so strong! You’re just like All Might!”

Deku bOKE: Go Momo!

Literally a pair of headphones: FUCK IT UP MOMO

Literally a pair of headphones: aw the little kid, my heart

slip ‘n’ slide: GET REKT CREEPY DUDE

easy bake oven: The mother is thanking me and trying to find a way to repay me. I’ve told her its nothing and she started crying and hugged me so tight.

iwant2die: but did you get the denny’s afterward

easy bake oven: They gave their most exspensive deal for free and rang the cops for me

Hard boi: WHOOOO

(tit)an: When you get older, you’re gonna have heaps more guys hitting on you. Especially with those curves you’ve got there. Since you have a body like mine and Midnight, we might wanna teach you some techniques and a few ways to get guys (or some girls) to leave you alone

Midthot: a mother’s wisdom

easy bake oven: Thank you Mt lady

midthot: one time yuu and i were at a crime scene a while ago and this guy came up to her and was clearly drunk af and said “I’m loving this whole bonde hair blue eyes thing going on” and she replied with “So did hitler”

midthot: she literally said that to a person

(tit)an: He proceded to leave and a few hours later there was this article on an magazine about how I’m apparently “Unapprochable” and “a Disappointment to the hero society”

iwant2die: I read that

iwant2die: it wasnt very good

midthot: it really wasnt

Not on tape: oooh we’re sharing stories about retards? I have one!

Not on tape: a few months ago at halloween, at work we were selling pumpkins and there was this one huge one that was like 4 times bigger than the rest and this girl and guy went past and the girl stopped and pointed at the biggest one and said “Look Tae, it’s ALMOST as big as your FUCKING EGO” and Tae looked so hurt and betrayed

Soda: thats literally just kendou and monoma

big hand gorl: describes our relationship perfectly

copycat: :(

midthot: this child is lonely

(tit)an: midnight i will sell you online if you keep trying to adopt highschool kids

That’s rough buddy: midnight has adopted other highschool kids?

That’s rough buddy: mom why

Johnny test: mom has cheated on us

(tit)an: she adopted this pretty girl with light brown hair at Yuuei highschool, i think thats the name of the school but i dont know

Deku bOKE: wait

Deku bOKE: is her name camie?

midthot: yes! Do you know her?

Caught on tape: deku knows her very well

Deku bOKE: im telling you, we didnt do anything!

Johnny test: aRe YoU sUrE aBoUt tHaT

(tit)an: she has also adopted this dude with that weird meatball mutation quirk thing, ew, and tornado whirly dude that had no chill

Johnny test: IM FUCKIGN CRYING

uwuravity: we know them!

That’s rough buddy: not that dude

Deku bOKE: Inasa is the best wdym

(tit)an: and she adopted vine girl from 1B

big hand gorl: I B A R A

 

big hand gorl has added vine is dead to ‘disaster gays’

 

vine is dead: hello kendou

Johnny test: you’re the girl i versed in the sports compitition in our first year! Hey!

Vine is dead: electricity dude that got his ass kicked in the first minute?

Johnny test: yeah thats me!

Vine is dead: hello again

Vine is dead: alright now how do i say i dont like talking to new people

Here comes dat girl: just do what i do and make a weird animal noise

Here comes dat girl: something like

Here comes dat girl: blEEhHHeh

Here comes dat girl: and then they leave

Vine is dead: i like you

Vine is dead: lets be friends

Here comes dat girl: ok

Vine is dead: ok

Vine is dead: im coming to your dorm common room so we can praise our lord and saviour together

Here comes dat girl: nice, kero

Johnny test: pure

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of headphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetsutetsu
Midthot: Midnight
(tit)an: Mt Lady
Vine is dead: Ibara
Tokage Sestuna: Tokage

Soda: I made cupcakes if anyone wants to have anyway

slip ‘n’ slide: cupcakes?

Not on tape: BABE NO-

Here comes dat girl: satou that was a mistake

Literally a pair of headphones: mina eats all of it every time

slip ‘n’ slide: i cant help it okay!

Not on tape: screw it lets make our own food

iwant2die: no dont do that

iwant2die: last time you guys tried to cook you almost burnt the whole kitchen down

Vine is dead: I remember that, Tetsutetsu and Tokage were tempted to burn our kitchen down just so you guys didn’t feel so bad about yourselves

Hard boi: thats so thoughtful!

Not on tape: ...does this mean we CAN burn the kitchen down makng food?

iwant2die: no

uwuravity: just get take aways

two birds one hero: but what kind?

uwuravity: idk whatever waffle house has at 4 in the morning

Karate kid: mood

Bakubro: why the fuck are momo and half n half on 1Bs roof

big hand gorl: theyre whAT NOW

Metal boi: IM FUCKING CRYING THEY ARE

Vine is dead: why are they there?

Vine is dead: and why are they posing like jessie and james from pokemon go?

Johnny test: I DARED THEM TO DO IT AND IM FUCKING HOLLERING

Caught on tape: im so proud of my bae

Johnny test: bae <3

Caught on tape: bae <3

These eyebags are gucci: ...

These eyebags are gucci: fuck off sero

These eyebags are gucci: that one is mine find your own

Caught on tape: i am hurt

Caught on tape: fine i will then

Caught on tape: hey ibara?

Vine is dead: Yes Sero?

Caught on tape: wanna go to the movies sometime?

Vine is dead: Sure

Vine is dead: I haven’t been in a while so it might be fun

Midthot: they grow up so fast

Johnny test: GET IT SERO

Hard boi: NICE ONE SERO

slip ‘n’ slide: if only it was that easy to ask someone out

 

Bakubro >>>>> Vine is dead

Bakubro: If you hurt Sero you’re fucking dead

Vine is dead: Understood

slip ‘n slide >>>>> Vine is dead

slip ‘n slide: my acid could burn through your vines in a heart beat

slip ‘n slide: youll know what else it burns if you hurt Sero

Vine is dead: I won’t lay a finger on him

slip ‘n’ slide: good

Vine is dead: I’ll use my whole hand

slip ‘n’ slide: ibARA

Vine is dead: Don’t worry, I wouldn’t hurt him

slip ‘n’ slide: thats what i wanted to hear

slip ‘n’ slide: have fun on your date!

Vine is dead: Thank you, I will

Johnny test >>>>> Vine is dead

Johnny test: I know i failed against you at the sports festival but i assure you, i wont hesitate this time

Johnny test: if you hurt sero that is

Vine is dead: I won’t hurt him

Johnny test: better not

Hard boi >>>>> Vine is dead

Hard boi: ill get hard if you hurt sero

Hard boi: WAIT NO

Literally a pair of headphones >>>>> Vine is dead

Literally a pair of headphones: i know hes an absolute dumbass please dont hurt sero hes like the only semi normal one in our friend group

Vine is dead: I won’t kill him I swear

Literally a pair of headphones: thank you god

Vine is dead: I thought Momo was god?

Literally a pair of headphones: no shes jesus

Literally a pair of headphones: you are god now

Vine is dead: Bow to me

Literally a pair of headphones: yes mamm

 

‘Disaster gays’

 

Metal boi: oh no what are momo and todoroki doing now

Limbs for days: disaster duo

Metal boi: you know those rainbow parachute type thingys you played with in primary school?

Karate kid: aka my childhood

Literally a pair of headphones: yeah

Metal boi: they have one of those and todoroki is currently tying it around momo’s snatched waist

iwant2die: DENKI WHAT DID YOU DARE THEM TO DO

Johnny test: …

Metal boi: i think theyre going to- nvm they just jumped

These eyebags are gucci: OH MY GOD

Literally a pair of headphones: NO MY BIG TITTY GIRLFRIEND

Midthot: SAVE HER

Metal boi: nvm shes safe

Metal boi: she landed in a tree its algds

Tenya Iida: I’m not sure that’s all good

Deku bOKE: But what is shouto doing now?

Limbs for days: Hes probably just going to stay there

These eyebags are gucci: i dont blame him

These eyebags are gucci: its comfy up there

Johnny test: agreed

Vine is dead: I dont exactly know how our roof is comfy but okay

Deku bOKE: I’ll get him down

Hard boi: what a good boyfriend

Hard boi: katsuki why cant you be like that?

Bakubro: fuck off

Not on tape: do you ever just forget that bakugou and kiri are together

Caught on tape: if you lived next to them you wouldnt ever forget

Hard boi: I TOLD YOU SERO WE WERE PLAYING SUPER SMASH BROS ON OUR NINTENDO SWITCH

Caught on tape: super smash bros my aSS

Bakubro: more like super smash kiri’s ass

iwant2ie: BAKUGOU

YEAHHHH: YOUNG BAKUGOU NO

Caught on tape: SCARRED FOR LIFE

Caught on tape: IM LEAVING THIS DORM

These eyebags are gucci: THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE

(tit)an: hah thots

Bakubro: your fucking name is literally bracketed with (tit) dont come at me

(tit)an: … true

easy bake oven: Ok I didn’t die this time

easy bake oven: But Denki is going to since that dare

Johnny test: IT WAS HERO TRAINING I SWEAR

easy bake oven: I’m going to destroy your pikachu plushie

Johnny test: NOOOOO

Johnny test: THATS MY PRIZE POSSESION

copycat: your prize possesion is a pikachu plushie?

Johnny test: yes

copycat: may i ask why?

Bakubro: no

copycat: why?

Johnny test: because shinsou got it for me!

iwant2die: oh really? When?

Johnny test: on our first date at the carnavel! He won it for me!

iwant2die: oh really? You told me you were training, Hm interesting isnt it?

These eyebags are gucci: YOU DONT REALISE THAT MY DADS ARE IN THIS CHAT DO YOU

Johnny test: hey theyre my dads too!

YEAHHHH: *future fathers in law

Caught on tape: forgot shinsou proposed

Caught on tape: oh yeah did you ever get that bussy?

These eyebags are gucci: yes

Johnny test: bitch i swear to god

Deku bOKE: 0//0

big hand gorl: shinsou is definitely moronsexual

These eyebags are gucci: thats fair

Johnny test: rude! I am offended

Deku bOKE: not as offended when we all had a group hug with all might and when we all let go todoroki got his wallet stolen by kirishima

Hard boi: sorry

That’s rough buddy: Sorry doesn’t cut it Kirishima

Hard boi: but scissors do!

That’s rough buddy: God you’re right

Hard boi: so do you forgive me now?

That’s rough buddy: Of course I do

Bakubro: if you ever need money just rob an orphan

Bakubro: what are they gonna do? Tell their parents

Here comes dat girl: its kind of concerning how much he says that

Bakubro: I WILL KEEP YOU

Bakubro: *KILL

Here comes dat girl: im not a pet bakugou

uwuravity: babe

uwuravity: youre literally a frog

Here comes dat girl:.... I feel attacked

Bakubro: im at the supermarket you little shits need anything?

Not on tape: can i ask you in dm for something?

Bakubro: ill get you and mina some pads and tampons

slip ‘n slide: really? Wow thank you bakugou

Deku bOKE: when me and kacchan were in middle school, mom and auntie told us to go shopping for them quite a lot! So me and kacchan always gets pads for his mom and mine!

Hard boi: AWWWW

Bakubro: DEKU SHUT YOUR FUCK

iwant2die: thats actually a great quality to have, bakugou

Bakubro: whatever

Caught on tape: so proud of my dead gay son

Bakubro: this weird guy keeps constantly asking me to come home with him to show me his lion king collection

Bakubro: It’s fucking weird as hell

Caught on tape: well when was the last time someone ever showed your their pumba?

Hard boi: !!!

Limbs for days: kirishima no

Deku bOKE: Ei we both know that your pumba isnt the only pumba hes seen

Literally a pair of headphones: SORRY WHAT

easy bake oven: MIDORIYA

Tenya Iida: MIDORIYA

Metal boi: damn

big hand gorl: they grow up so fast

Caught on tape: hey denki can you charge my phone

Caught on tape: i cant find my charger and my phone is dying

Johnny test: i dont want to be used as a charger every time you guys need to charge your phone

These eyebags are gucci: last time you wouldnt charge my phone i had to make out with you and then shove the charger in your mouth when it was left slightly open

YEAHHHH: SO THATS WHAT WAS HAPPENING WHEN YOU BUTT DIALED ME AND I HEARD THOSE WEIRD NOISES

iwant2die: sorry what was that young man?

These eyebags are gucci: we were only kissing i swear

These eyeags are gucci: i forget that my dads are here sometimes

Bakubro: why was his mouth still open

Literally a pair of headphones: i think we all know why his mouth was left open

Johnny test: GUYS STOp

Johnny test: WHY DOES ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS END UP WITH MY LOVE AND OR SEX LIFE

Literally a pair of headhones: cause its funny

Literally a pair of headhones: and cause most of us want free gays

slip ‘n’ slide: there are other gay couples in this class you realize that right

slip ‘n’ slide: they arent as noticeable but theyre here and queer

That’s rough buddy: if you ever ask Izuku about if we have made out he’ll just act innocent so thats unlucky for you

Deku bOKE: ?

That’s rough buddy: See

Johnny test: hey kiri

Hard boi: no

Johnny test: hey tokoyami

two birds one hero: no

Johnny test: im out of gays

Johnny test: ...fuck

Literally a pair of headhones: hah

These eyebags are gucci: mina if you need any good shit ive got a few pics

slip ‘n’ slide: NiCe

slip ‘n’ slide: but i dont want denkis dick pics

Johnny test: SHINSOU YOU BETTER NOT HAVE ANY DICK PICS

These eyebags are gucci: nah i dont have any of those

These eyebags are gucci: mostly pics of denki with my fingers in his mouth or him being pinned to a wall or my bed

Bakubro: WHAT THE FUCK

Johnny test: SHINSOU

Johnny test: FUCK YOU

These eyebags are gucci: youve already done that

YEAHHHH: I AM TAKING YOUR PHONE AWAY

These eyebags are gucci: WAIT NO

slip ‘n’ slide: DAMN SEND THEM

Johnny test: MINA WHY

slip ‘n’ slide: WHAT

slip ‘n’ slide: YOURE HOT I GOTTA ADMIT

Johnny test: hagakure your girlfriend thinks im hot how do you feel

Not on tape: shinsou send pics

That’s rough buddy: I’ll have some too

Johnny test: SKSKSSKSK

These eyebags are gucci: even you too todoroki?

That’s rough buddy: I wanna know how to pin people to a wall

Johnny test: i am so offended and loved at the same time

Johnny test: but if flirting was a mating dance, you guys cant even cha cha real smooth

Not on tape: i cri

Limbs for days: has anyone seen my poncho?

Hard boi: yes

Limbs for days: where?

Hard boi: its mine now

easy bake oven: Kiri, Bakugou, Mina, Jirou, Sero and Denki are using it as a huge blanket in the common room

easy bake oven: they keep stealing clothes

Deku bOKE: come to think of it, i thought i saw kacchan wearing my jersey yesterday after training

Bakubro: ITS FUCKING SOFT OKAY AND YOU WERENT TAKING CARE OF IT

Deku bOKE: Dont worry you can keep it!

Bakubro: i was already going to

Bakubro:....but thanks anyway

Caught on tape: is anyone else seeing this or am i hallucinating

Hard boi: bakugou.smiling.at.his.phone.and.cuddling.dekus.jersey.png

Not on tape: ITS SO PURE

Bakubro: FUCK YOU

Deku bOKE: Aw you smiled! And because of me too!

Bakubro: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Limbs for days: what about my poncho bitch

Hard boi: i’ll buy you another one

That’s rough buddy: With my money hm?

Hard boi: i thought you forgived me!

That’s rough buddy: I can’t give you much but will $400 be okay?

Metal boi: NO NEED TO FLEX ON US OR ANYTHING

Hard boi: todoroki! Thats very generous but $30 is enough for a poncho

That’s rough buddy: They go smaller than $100?

slip ‘n slide: oh my god

Bakubro: dumbass

Literally a pair of headphones: WE GET IT YOURE RICH

big hand gorl: didnt you steal your dads credit card right?

That’s rough buddy: yes

big hand gorl: and you want to make him bankrupt?

That’s rough buddy: yes

big hand gorl: can you get me one of those long pink strings of wool with googly eyes please

That’s rough buddy: Sure

Metal boi: theyre like $2 how is endeavor gonna get bankrupt by $2

big hand gorl: fine, get me 900 of em little bois

That’s rough buddy: OK sure

Metal boi: i shouldnt of said anything

Midthot: i remember those, yuu has a whole collection at her house

(tit)an: really

(tit)an: i told you not to tell anyone

Midthot: i didnt

Midthot: i typed it instead

(tit)an: im breaking up with you

Midthot: but our cHILDREN

(tit)an: THEYRE NOT OUR CHILDREN

Caught on tape: yes we are you fool

Metal boi: imagine if two people went to the moon and one killed the other like wouldnt that be fucked up

Johnny test: ok that idea

Johnny test: but its gay

Vine is dead: its not gay if its on the moon

big hand gorl: i b a r a

Deku bOKE: i need that preached at my wedding

Deku bOKE: or my funeral, whichever comes first

That’s rough buddy: izuku no

Bakubro: if izuku dies then who will i make fun of

copycat: pony

copycat: shes izuku but cute

easy bake oven: WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY

Caught on tape: SHIT MOMO IS SWEARING

Caught on tape: MONOMA RUN

copycat: I CANT IM WEARING HEELS

These eyebags are gucci: bitch deserved it

big hand gorl: wait why are you wearing heels

copycat: i wanted to see how they felt i guess

Deku bOKE: if you balance your weight to the right slightly on your left foot and your left weight leaning to your right foot you have better grip and can walk easier

Not on tape: izuku? You know how to wear heels?

Deku bOKE: kacchan’s mom taught me

Bakubro: NO SHE FUCKING DIDNT

Literally a pair of headphones: if i didnt wear boots, id wear heels because you can stab someone with them

Metal boi: knife shoes

Midthot: one kick can kill

Deku bOKE: one swift kick to the stomach

iwant2die: midoriya youre creeping me out

Deku bOKE: im sorry

iwant2die: its alright

Midthot: protect him

big hand gorl: you know who would love this?

 

big hand gorl has added Tokage sestuna to ‘disaster gays’

Tokage sestuna: …

Metal boi: t o k a g e

Tokage sestuna: wow some of you have never tried to push a volleyball in a swimming pool before as a kid and have it come back up in the speed of light and hit u in the fucking face and it shows

Midthot: i like you

Tokage sestuna: thank you i try

Tenya Iida: Hello Tokage!

Tokage sestuna: tEnYa

Tokage sestuna: do any of you realise what a beautiful child this one is

That’s rough buddy: yes we do and we love him

slip ‘n’ slide: class 1b aint taking him again

Tokage sestuna: we never deserved him

These eyebags are gucc: what do you mean ‘again;?

slip ‘n’ slide: class 1b once stole iida from us on april fools day

These eyebags are guccu: understandable, have a nice day

Tokage sestuna: ah yes, my quirk finally came in handy for once

Tokage sestuna: also what is dis owo?

Bakubro: shut the fuck up

big hand gorl: tokage what ever you do just dont ask about shinsous pics

Tokage sestuna: hey shinsou

These eyebags are gucci: you want sum good shit?

Tokage sestuna: yes

These eyebags are gucci has changed their name to sugar daddy for nsfw denki pics

sugar daddy for nsfw denki pics: this seems better

Johnny test: i would break up with you but then id lose like 69% of my self esteem so im kinda stuck with you

Johnny test: and sero got a date so now i cant go to him

Caught on tape: am i just a rebound to you?

Johnny test: yes

Caught on tape: ok thats kinda fair

Johnny test: i know

sugar daddy for nsfw denki pics has changed their name to These eyebags are gucci

Johnny test: thank you babe

Johnny test: also, b q p d are the same fucking letter and no one talks about it

Literally a pair of headphones: s t o p

easy bake oven: Denki I’m still mad at you for making me jump off a roof with only a rainbow parachute from your little sisters kindergarten

Tokage sestuna: wow i love this

Johnny test: you forgot the part where you and todoroki did the jessie and james pose from pokemon go

Tokage sestuna: wow i really love this

Johnny test: and the time when i was pushing you down the hall on a desk chair and we hit bakugou and i fucking pushed me to his wrath and ran because i thought he was a blue shell from mario kart

Hard boi: ok but blue shells actually suck tho

Bakubro: IF ANYONE USES BLUE SHELLS YOU CAN KISS MY ASS

Hard boi: bakugou really doesnt like them

Here comes dat girl: so basically, momo and denki are chaotic best friends

Johnny test: yes

Johnny test: i love her

easy bake oven: Yes

easy bake oven: I love him

Literally a pair of headphones: what am i then? A roach?

easy bake oven: I LOVE YOU BABY

Literally a pair of headphones: thank you

Johnny test: wow imagine if mineta was still here

Johnny test: id still be the perverted weirdo in first year

uwuravity: and now ur gay

Johnny test: *we’re all gay

uwuravity: nice

Deku bOKE: what do you think would happen if you put wasabi in your coffee

That’s rough buddy: no thats a bad idea

That’s rough buddy: please dont do that

Midthot: please dont

Tokage sestuna: deku please dont do that

Deku bOKE: ….

Deku bOKE: im gonna do it

iwant1die: midoriya nO

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
Deku bOKE: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of headphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetsutetsu
Midthot: Midnight
(tit)an: Mt Lady
Vine is dead: Ibara
Tokage Sestuna: Tokage

Tokage sestuna: so i just woke up right

Tokage sestuna: with this small green bottle next to me and my breath smelling like perfume

big hand gorl: ….

Metal boi: an hour ago me and kendou had this bottle and i asked “is this whiskey or perfume?” and then you took it out of my hand and drank it. You turned back to me and said it was perfume before passing out

Karate kid: mood

Hard boi: EVERYONE

Hard boi: I HAVE THE BEST SONG I JUST FOUND

Literally a pair of headphones: im listening

Hard boi: listen to icky vicky by mityrion

(tit)an: you know mityrion?

Hard boi: YES SHES THE BEST WAESDRTFGYUHJIMNHBGYTFRD

(tit)an: I know right!

(tit)an: my other favourite of hers is other side of paradise

Hard boi: yesasdfghnjbhvb

Caught on tape: gay keyboard smash

Deku bOKE: guys

Deku bOKE: waluigi has the same syllabels as despacito

Johnny test: holy shit

Not on tape: this is proof on my theory that midoriya is god

slip ‘n’ slide: HOLY SHIT HES RIGHT

That’s rough buddy: im dating that

big hand gorl: IM FUCKIGN CRYING

iwant2die: child why

Metal boi: i wanna move to class 1a

Literally a pair of headphones: its because of midoriya isnt it

Metal boi: of course it is

Here comes dat girl: goddamnit todoroki why did you have to date god like at least let us have a chance

uwuravty: agreed

Metal boi: arent you both lesbians and dating tho?

Here comes dat girl: im bi

uwuravity: who wouldnt date midoriya?

Metal boi: shit you rite

Deku bOKE: qwerdtfyguhijhbgyvftdcresrdtfyguh

That’s rough buddy: you broke my boyfriend

That’s rough buddy: prepare to die

Johnny test: plese kill me senpai

Caught on tape: bitch

These eyebags are gucci: bitch

These eyebags are gucci: youre not dating him for the last time

Caught on tape: you gon catch this tape in a min

Bakubro: its hands you fucking retard were you dropped on your head as a baby or something

Caught on tape: bold of you to assume i was held

uwuravity: …

Here comes dat girl: ...

Vine is dead: do you need your emotional support thot time early tonight?

Caught on tape: yes

uwuravity: and what is that exactly?

Vine is dead: its just me cuddling him for like 4 hours

That’s rough buddy: im guessing the date went well then?

Vine is dead: yes it did

Johnny test: have you ever realized that both of their quirks can be used for bondage

Vine is dead: yes

Karate kid: god ur so wise

easy bake oven: She was poetry, the mortals can’t read

Johnny test: his name was jared, hes nineteen

Literally a pair of headphones: when his parents built a very strange machine

uwuravity: watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Caught on tape: ayy macarena

easy bake oven: Terrible job, everyone

Not on tape: wdym that was the best thing thats happend on this chat

Caught on tape: so youre saying tododeku getting together and me getting a girlfriend into bondage isnt?

Not on tape: did i fucking stutter

Caught on tape: no sir

Not on tape: thats what i fucking thought

Bakubro: did he just say ibara is into bondage

big hand gorl: had a feeling tbh

Midthot: just remember sero, make her pussy wet not her eyes

(tit)an: i call b u l l s h i t

Metal boi: ibara, make his dick hard not his life

Hard boi: break her bed not her heart

Here comes dat girl: play with her boobs not her heart

two birds one hero: get on his dick not his nerves

easy bake oven: Always salt your pasta while boiling it

Karate kid: make sure you retain a tank a gas at a minimum during colder weather

Bakubro: why the fuck do you know that

Karate kid: I have no idea

Karate kid: dont question me

Tokage sestuna: wow none of you were the 3rd friend that had to walk behind when the path was too narrow and it shows

big hand gorl: thank you, tokage

Here comes dat girl: im at home and my brother and his friends are in the room next to me and i hear them playing fergalicous and singing and i just yelled to keep it down and one of them goes “SHIT YOU TOLD ME SHE WASNT HERE” and another dude yells “ITS PART OF A VIDEO GAME” and the dude goes “WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME”

Vine is dead: ew men

Caught on tape: :(

Vine is dead: youre not a man

Caught on tape: I-

Johnny test: lmao damn

big hand gorl: shes right

uwuravity: since we’re complaining about men, why are they always spitting on the sideway? Like are they marking their territory or something?

big hand gorl: they cant swallow because thats gay

Deku bOKE: wow lesbians are so wise

easy bake oven: We are

easy bake oven: Fear us

That’s rough buddy: damn

easy bake oven: I mean you too

Not on tape: why are you guys acting like this you literally binge watched all of glee yesterday together

uwuravity: exposed bitch

easy bake oven: A little friendly rivalry isn’t that bad

easy bake oven: This nothing worse than a fake friend

Literally a pair of headphones: what about when you wake up in the morning and your phone wasnt charging

Limbs for days: when you wake up in the morning

two birds one hero: when you wake up

Johnny test: w a k e m e u p i n s i d e

Midthot: okay thats enough edgelords

Tenya Iida: I am concerned for all of you, you can always talk to me if you want

Tokage sestuna: more proof that iida is best boi

Hard boi: we praise iida in this household

Deku bOKE: remember that one time when todoroki proposed to iida because, i quote, “He deserves it”

easy bake oven: And then you came to my room and cried on my lap for an hour

Deku bOKE: SKSKSKSSKS M O M

Literally a pair of headphones: babe youre embarassing him

uwuravity: exposed bitch #2

Johnny test: you got to cry on momo’s lap? Lucky

big hand gorl: i second that

Deku bOKE: I mean, I cuddle with most of the girls and stuff when we have sleepovers

Hard boi: midoriya even gets the lesbians

Here comes dat girl: of course he does

Johnny test: fOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THAT

Deku bOKE: since,,,,second part of our first year im pretty sure?

Literally a pair of headphones: yeah thats about right

Metal boi: lucky bitch

big hand gorl: you called me your lucky bitch last night but okay

iwant2die: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR SEX LIVES THERE ARE TEAVHERS AND HEROES IN THIS

Midthot: not in front of my salad

(tit)an: just not in front of eraserdad

(tit)an: hes just not interested anymore because we know most of his sex life

YEAHHHH: netflix and chill

iwant2die: i hate all of you

Johnny test: imax and climax

Hard boi: blockbuster and cockthruster

Metal boi: hulu and whoohoo

big hand gorl: amazon prime and sexy time

easy bake oven: Church and praying for forgiveness

Johnny test: damn k

Deku bOKE: ok mom

easy bake oven: Don’t worry Izuku you did nothing wrong

Deku bOKE: thanks mum!!

Bakubro: bitch i swear to god i am leaving this group chat

Hard boi: ive locked you in here

Bakubro: HOW?!?!?!?!

Hard boi: h a c k i n g

Limbs for days: he got me to lock you in

Limbs for days: you cant escape us now

Deku bOKE: thats terrifying

Limbs for days: sorry

Literally a pair of headphones: I JUST GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BIRD?!?!?!

Not on tape: you should of ducked

Literally a pair of headphones: was that a fucking bird pun

Hard boi: for get ducking, birds drop hella low. You should of dove

Literally a pair of headphones: w a s t h a t a n o t h e r b i r d p u n

Bakubro: todoroki i swear to god turn your fucking music off before i make you

That’s rough buddy: stop disrespecting sailor moon

Caught on tape: not this again

uwuravity: REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN SOME OF THE BOYS CAME TO SCHOOL WEARING SAILOR MOON OUTFITS

Bakubro: FOR FUCK SAKE I TOLD YOU TO NOT BRING IT UP

big hand gorl: SKSKSSKSSKSK WHAT

Metal boi: I REALLY WANNA BE IN THIS CLASS

Vine is dead: did sero wear a sailor moon outfit?

That’s rough buddy: yes he was sailor pluto

Vine is dead: babe

Caught on tape: yes?

Vine is dead: do you still have it?

Caught on tape: maybe

Vine is dead: im coming over

Caught on tape: wOah OkAY

Johnny test: my boi finally getting the succ he needs

These eyebags are gucci: uraraka do you still have the photos i sent you i accidently deleted mine

uwuravity: just make new ones

These eyebags are gucci: ive tried but everytime i try he electrocutes my phone

Johnny test: at this point im wondering if you even like me or my body smh

These eyebags are gucci: both

Johnny test: heart: full

These eyebags are gucci: phones: out

iwant2die: shinsou you’re grounded for trying to corrupt my student again

Hard boi: a g a i n

These eyebags are gucci: smh really dad

slip ‘n’ slide: does anyone wonder how izuku has the biggest ass out of us all as a whole

Deku bOKE: is that a good thing?

slip ‘n’ slide: y e s

That’s rough buddy: yes

These eyebags are gucci: it jiggles

Johnny test: its more distracting than the girls tbh
Here comes dat girl: god knew that if he gave us asses like midoriya’s we’d be too powerful

Deku bOKE: sksksksksksjhhgiuytrefghjkhngbfdsewrtyu

Deku bOKE: i have to train my legs because detroit smash and i guess it toned my butt or something?

slip ‘n’ slide: fascinating

Bakubro: have you seen his mom

Johnny test: dude have you SEEN your mom?!

iwant2die: after the home interview thingys for the dorms when all might came back he started crying because midoriyas mom was, and i quote, “So wholesome, need to marry her soon.” between sobs

Deku bOKE: QWESRDTFYGUHGTFRDESDTFGYUTFRESDFGYUTFRDFGYUHGTFRESDTFGYURESAWRTFGYUHGTFRDESTFGYUHGTFRDFYGUHGTFRDTFYGUHGTFRDESDTFYGUHIYGUTFRDESDRFYUGIHUYGUTFYRD

Not on tape: AWWW ALL MIGHT HAS A CRUSH ON IZUKUS MOM

uwuravity: THATS SO PURE

That’s rough buddy: you can tell inko likes all might

Johnny test: whos inko?

That’s rough buddy: izukus mom

Not on tape: IDEA

Not on tape: WE SHOULD SET THEM UP

Deku bOKE: ESRDTFYGUHYGFTTFGHh a g k u r e

Bakubro: it would help because auntie inko constantly talks about all might to me and my mom all the fucking time

Bakubro: it is kinda cute but fucking annoying

Deku bOKE: but you love her

Bakubro: of course i fucking do

Bakubro: she practically raised me

Bakubro: but yeah we should set them up

Midthot: im on board

YEAHHHH: I can get All Might to met me at an ice cream shop in his weakened form and midoriya can get his mom to go there as well?

Not on tape: YES

Not on tape: OKAY WE HAVE A GAME PLAN

Deku bOKE: when should i tell her?

Bakubro: do it on friday night since thats when our moms go to that place on the corner near my house

Bakubro: i could tell my old hag to meet her at the ice cream place instead so its not suspicous

Deku bOKE: good idea kacchan!

Johnny test: love how the only thing bakugou and deku get along with is setting up dekus mom and all might together

Bakubro: shut the fuck up

Johnny test: make me

Bakubro: ill shove a cactus down your throat

Johnny test: ill shove something else down your throat

Johnny test: WAIT NO

Bakubro: IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU

Johnny test: I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT I SWEAR

 

These eyebags are gucci: you better fucking not of

Tokage sestuna: guys i need help, three days i felt very unwell. Thought it was the flu, so i took some medicine and rested. The next day i woke up sweating. I had a fever and even threw up. I started to feel dizzy and fainted. My mom took me to the hospital. I woke up today and was told by the doctor that i had a serious infection because i ate the ass of whoever is reading this

Deku bOKE: i,,felt so sorry for you then,,,

slip ‘n’ slide: you made me feel things

Tokage sestuna: i can make you feel a lot of things-

Bakubro: WELL FUCK YOU TOO WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE

 

Bakubro: and deku i sent the plan to my old hag and shes on board

Deku bOKE: thank you kacchan!! Say hi to auntie mitsuki for me!

Bakubro: no

Deku bOKE: ,,,,ok

Hard boi: katsuki can you say hi for deku

Bakubro: fine

Johnny test: whoa bakugou whisperer

Deku bOKE: thank you ei!

Hard boi: no problem midoriya!

slip ‘n’ slide: pure

Caught on tape: mido and kiri are the purest

Tokage sestuna: you fools its obviously iida

Vine is dead: no its hanta

Johnny test: ok valid

Chapter Text

Usernames so you guys don't get confused
memedoriya: Izuku
uwuravity: Uraraka
slip 'n' slide: Mina
easy bake oven: Momo
Bakubro: Bakugou
Caught on tape: Sero
Not on tape: Hagakure
Here comes dat girl: Tsuyu
Tenya Iida: Iida
razzle dazzle motherfucker: Aoyama
Hard boi: Kirishima
two birds one hero: Tokoyami
Animal crossing: Koda
Literally a pair of headphones: Jirou
That's rough buddy: Todoroki
Limbs for days: Shouji
Soda: Satou
Karate kid: Ojiro
Johnny test: Kaminari
These eyebags are gucci: Shinsou
iwant2die: Aizawa
YEAHHHH: Present mic
copycat: Monoma
big hand gorl: Kendou
Metal boi: Tetsutetsu
Midthot: Midnight
(tit)an: Mt Lady
Vine is dead: Ibara
Tokage Sestuna: Tokage

Johnny test: hey aizawa sensei

iwant2die: yes?

Johnny test: whats the second to last letter of the alphabet?

iwant2die: y

Johnny test: because i want to know

iwant2die:

iwant2die: shinsou are you sure you want to marry him

These eyebags are gucci: I WAS DRUNK OKAY

iwant2die: YOURE 17 YOU SHOULDNT BE DRINKING

Not on tape: if he was in new zealand he would be able to drink legally and be legal already

These eyebags are gucci: what

Not on tape: yeah the legal age there is 16

Midthot: if he was drinking responsibly then i dont see a problem with it

(tit)an: i agree with nemuri

iwant2die: midnight once you literally tried to eat marshmellow seductively while it was on fire while trying to flirt with all might and then proceded to run around screaming while fanning your mouth

(tit)an: didnt afterwards she tried to get all might to kiss her to ‘cool it down’

Midthot: OH COME ON THAT WAS YEARS AGO

iwant2die: THE POINT IS, YOU WERE UNDERAGE AND DRINKING

Bakubro: fuck off midnight all might doesnt need your crusty old woman kisses

Bakubro: he wants auntie inkos crusty old woman kisses not yours you hoe

Deku bOKE: thank you kacchan

Midthot: IM NOT EVEN THAT OLD

(tit)an: i beg to differ

Not on tape: then beg

slip ‘n’ slide: SKSKSKSK BABE NO

slip ‘n’ slide: but back onto the subject of all might liking inko, how is the operation going so far boys?

Bakubro: my old hag wont tell me anything on what happened on the date

Bakubro: midoriya did auntio inko tell you anything i really wanna know

Bakubro: she deserves someone like him

Bakubro: why are you crying

Bakubro: why is he crying

Deku bOKE: iTs tHE first time you called me midoriya instead of deku

Deku bOKE: im so happy….

easy bake oven: Todoroki is coming over

That’s rough buddy: its too early for bakugou to start being nice to deku. All i hear now is deku crying, kermit noises form the living room, explosive noises coming from bakugous room and kaminari screaming at the top of his lungs. I wanted to be a hero. But im really close to dropping out. Or crying. Or dying. Any of the above

Metal boi: so this is what happens when bakugou isnt angry

Not on tape: even deku is shook

two birds one hero: its like when deku isnt pure anymore

two birds one hero: the whole world is out of whack

Bakubro: THIS IS WHY IM NOT NICE TO YOU GUYS YOU ALWAYS MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT ALSO QUIT CALLING HIM DEKU

slip ‘n’ slide: honestly bakugou why do you always get angry at us for calling midoriya deku

Bakubro: ffs now i have to explain himself and you all know i fucking hate doing that

Bakubro: you all know when we were kids i called him deku which means useless because i thought he was absolutely useless and now when hes got his quirk and isnt useless anymore and had proved himself to me i cant call him deku when i know he isnt useless anymore

Bakubro: and then when you guys call him deku youre calling him useless, which he clearly fucking isnt anymore and it pisses me off because you guys all fucking love him yet youre calling him fucking useless and ive tried stopping myself from doing it so you all should too

Johnny test: wow..thats so much different from first year bakugou

Tenya Iida: Bakugou has mellowed out a lot more after his years here, I’m proud of him

iwant2die: thats surprisingly sweet coming from you bakugou

slip ‘n’ slide: now im all sappy

uwuravity: i kinda feel bad now for saying that the name deku is cute….

Deku bOKE: kacchan is that what you really think when you call me deku now?

Bakubro: well i just fucking explained it all didnt i

 

Deku bOKE >>>>>> Bakubro

Deku bOKE: is that whats been on your mind lately?

Deku bOKE: you know that im the best person to talk to about it

Bakubro: yeah i know

Deku bOKE: then why do you keep it all in and dont tell me? Our relationship has become a lot better through the recent years so im confused on why you dont tell me

Deku bOKE: i talked to Ei and even he said you wont tell him anything

Deku bOKE: whats going on?

Bakubro: if i tell you will you stop fucking spamming me?

Deku bOKE: yes!

Bakubro: fucking fine

Bakubro: so as you know from all the shit i said to our class, i now realize that you arent like you werent and that you’ve proved yourself no matter how much i hate it

Bakubro: now im scared that youll become better and the top hero like all might because that was my dream since i was a kid

Bakubro: i want to become the top hero but with you here i feel like im letting myself down

Bakubro: and its all because all might gave you his quirk, why did it have to be you and not someone completely fucking different?!

Bakubro: WHY DOES ALL MIGHT HAVE TO FAVOR YOU?!?!

Bakubro: HE SHOULDNT HAVE FAVOURITES

Bakubro: WHY IS IT WHEN IM FINALLY AT THE TOP YOURE ALWAYS THERE TO DEFEAT ME

Bakubro: AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF FUCKING ALL MIGHT

Deku bOKE: kacchan calm down, you always used to say to me that you were gonna become a hero no matter what

Deku bOKE: dont lose sight of what is important in your life

Bakubro: im losing sight of what is important

Bakubro: im losing the old deku, the one who would always be below me

Bakubro: but now youre rising to the top

Bakubro: its really fucking annoying

Deku bOKE: youre crying arent you

Bakubro: why the fuck would i be crying?

Deku bOKE: kacchan ive known you for my whole life, i know when youre crying

Bakubro: im not crying but im pissed off

Bakubro: why did i even tell you this

Deku bOKE: telling me this is a big improvement in our relationship

Deku bOKE: youre starting to finally see me as an equal

Bakubro: yeah so fucking what?

Deku bOKE: remember when we were kids, before you got your quirk and we were friends, you told me that when we got our quirks we would be the strongest hero duo ever?

Bakubro: maybe

Bakubro: we were dumb kids back then deku

Bakubro: *izuku

Deku bOKE: and we’re still dumb kids now

Deku bOKE: how about not losing sight of whats important and work together to reach our original goal? Of becoming top heroes together like we wanted to

Deku bOKE: well before you became a dick but anyway

Bakubro: i was about to say yes until that

Deku bOKE: but kacchan!!

Bakubro: for fuck sake

Bakubro: fine, we’ll work together to become heroes

Bakubro: happy now?

Deku bOKE: yes

Deku bOKE: im very happy

Bakubro: is this all because you were listening to dig a little deeper from the princess and the frog?

Deku bOKE: ...

Deku bOKE: look it has a great meaning to it!!

Deku bOKE: and besides its pretty similar to what our thing is like

Deku bOKE: shes singing how tiana wants her resturant and how naveen wants to be rich again and thats like our goals to become heroes and then she says how you need to dig a little deeper to see what you need rather than what you want

Deku bOKE: we both want to become heroes but what we need is our friendship to be repaired

Deku bOKE: damn im hitting us with that anime backstory

Bakubro: yeah whatever

 

Hard boi >>>>>> Deku bOKE

Hard boi: img.bakugou.with.a.smol.soft.boi.smile

Hard boi: he just said to me that you two are gonna work together from now on to become heroes

Hard boi: hes not sad anymore

Hard boi: thank you

Deku bOKE: :)

 

‘disaster gays’

Deku bOKE: guys i did something

uwuravity: oh no

Deku bOKE: why do you automatically think that?

Not on tape: well with the amount of times youve broken your bones its only natural

Deku bOKE: well damn

Deku bOKE: but anyway, the thing is that me and bakugou made up and now we’re totally best friends!

Bakubro: we are not best friends

Bakubro: we’re just going to cooperate more with each other to work towards our goal or whatever inspirational shit midoriya said

That’s rough buddy: if it means no more explosives at night then im done

Bakubro: also means no one calling him deku

Bakubro: ever

Bakubro: got it?

uwuravity: yEs BaKuGoU

Caught on tape: CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

Tenya Iida: I’m happy for you guys for making up, even if it did take like 15 years

easy bake oven: We should have a party to celebrate!

Bakubro: we’re not doing that

Hard boi: wdym we’re totally doing that!

easy bake oven: It’s going to be so exciting! I’ll get Sayori and Monika to make food preperations!

Here comes dat girl: who are they, kero?

easy bake oven: They’re my personal chefs

uwuravity: SKSKSKSKS MOMO IS LOADED

Literally a pair of headphones: why do you think i come to school smelling like rose petals some days?

Johnny test: i thought all lesbians smelt like that?

iwant2die:

iwant2die: again, shinsou are you sure you want to marry him

These eyebags are gucci: not this again please

These eyebags are gucci: let me enjoy my dumb boyfriend in silence please

Johnny test: .3.

Johnny test: also momo

easy bake oven: Yes?

Johnny test: can we have peach at the party? I really like peach

easy bake oven: Of course!

Johnny test: i have like this peach kink i swear

Johnny test: i peel the skin off it and eat it but mario and luigi look at me weirdly when i do

These eyebags are gucci: yeah dad im single now

Johnny test: NO BABE DONT LEAVE ME

These eyebags are gucci: i couldnt leave even if i wanted to, im the only mental stability in your life anyway

Johnny test: true

Literally a pair of headphones: without shinsou you would still be talking about how hitler is a penis potato

Midthot: penis potato?

Literally a pair of headphones: a dictator

Literally a pair of headphones: god its like youre not even our mom

Midthot: i am very sorry, my child

(tit)an: stop encouraging her

slip ‘n’ slide: anyone wanna ride off a cliff on a trolley with me

Caught on tape: im in

slip ‘n’ slide: lit

Vine is dead: no hanta youre not doing that

Vine is dead: the only dangerous activities you will be doing is with me in bed

Deku bOKE has changed their name to memedoriya

memedoriya: thought the name would be a good change!

memedoriya: oh sero um

memedoriya: you got a girlfriend and a bodyguard in one

Caught on tape: i dont even know how i got a partner

These eyebags are gucci: cause i told you to lay off mine

These eyebags are gucci: then you on the spot asked ibara out randomly and then things just rocketed from there

Caught on tape: we went to see the new jurrasic park movie!

Vine is dead: sero cried

Caught on tape: NO I DIDNT

Vine is dead: yes you did

Vine is dead: but it was cute because you held onto my arm

memedoriya: aw

Not on tape: thats so pure

two birds one hero: not as pure as midoriya

slip ‘n’ slide: dw guys i have bad bitch sunglasses

Hard boi: can i have a pair

slip ‘n’ slide: of course you can my shister

Hard boi: shistar <3

slip ‘n’ slide: shistar <3

Bakubro: thats my boyfriend youre sending hearts too

uwuravity: you and my girlfriend practically go on ice cream dates every weekend and do i ever get mad?

Here comes dat girl: theyre not dates

Bakubro: yeah exactly

Bakubro: but im not sending fucking hearts to tsuyu am i?

Not on tape: kinda surprising youre not

Not on tape: tsuyu is cute as hell

uwuravity: agreed

Here comes dat girl: fyguyhiuhygtfrdfyguhiuhygtfrdefrgtyuhgtfrdeswdfghjjhgfdertyuiuytrewskskskskskdjhgvfcdxrsezzsxrdctfvygbhnjbgyvftcdrxsexrdctfvg

big hand gorl: like when our last sleepover when she fell asleep on tetsutetsu

Metal boi: i couldnt move

Midthot: sleepover?

big hand gorl: every two weeks class 1a and like half of 1b have a sleepover together to wind down and have a break

easy bake oven: The bakusquad are normally playing video games, me and most of the girls are painting each others nails and gossiping. Some are geeking over heroes, Tetsutetsu, Midoriya, Shinsou and Monoma normally. Jirou, Shouji, Tokoyami and a few others are being emo in their emo corner. Some are already sleeping, Tokage, Sero and Ibara. And when it’s late we all wind down to watch disney movies until 3 in the morning

Caught on tape: all the couples are so lovey dovey then theres me and ibara having an arm wrestling match

Hard boi: hey cuddling can be very manly!

Caught on tape: yeah whatever you dickwaffle

Hard boi: bro

Hard boi: you hurt my feelings bro

Caught on tape: im sorry bro

Midthot: honestly, the sleepover thing sound so cute

Hard boi: you should join!

Midthot: really? Are you sure? I am literally your teacher

Hard boi: no problem at all with an extra there, as bakugou always says

Hard boi: you could bring mt lady along too!

(tit)an: please, call me yuu

Hard boi: you could bring yuu along too!

iwant2die: oh god

Bakubro: does she have to come?

Hard boi: yes so dont be rude!

Bakubro: no

Hard boi: fine

Hard boi: i guess when the scary parts come on ill cuddle with midoriya then

memedoriya: thats fine Ei!

Bakubro: fine she can come

Caught on tape: oh dont worry no one needed your permisson anyway

Johnny test: dAMN

Caught on tape: and jirou bring your guitar

Literally a pair of headphones: why?

Caught on tape: so midnight can serenade her future wife

Midthot: my what now?

(tit)an: zxsrdctfvygbuhnhbgyvftcdrxsedcfvgbhjnbgvfcdxsdcfv

Midthot: send this child to the R A N C H

Caught on tape: im trying to get you laid

Vine is dead: you should hear him out

Caught on tape: see ibara gets it

Midthot: you know what, why not

Midthot: yuu we’re going to a sleepover

(tit)an: lit

memedoriya: guys

easy bake oven: What is it my son? What happened?

memedoriya: kaminari just walked into my room asking for marshmellows right

memedoriya: he has freckles

Bakubro: he has
now?

memedoriya: like sparky little electricity dots on his cheeks and stuff

memedoriya: he looks so cute but where did they come from?

Johnny test: oh yeah i get freckles when its winter time lol

These eyebags are gucci: oh wow im gay

Literally a pair of headphones: wait but why did he want marshmellows

Johnny test: to try and eat a marshmellow while its still on fire

Midthot: you really are my son

iwant2die: sometimes i ask myself, are these kids really worth the time and effort? And usuallt, the answer is yes. They are our future heroes. But then they do shit like this like eating marshmellows on fire and fighting endeavor behind dennys and i wonder if its still worth it. At this point im considering its not

Here comes dat girl: im still wondering how you were still our teacher until our last year here

Johnny test: this slander is so disrespectful i could fry you if i wanted to

slip ‘n’ slide: watch out before he goes pika pika

Johnny test: well fuck you too mina

Not on tape: ay dats my girl

Not on tape: you should watch your pants tonight

Caught on tape: hagakure if you pants us again i will hand you over to the villains

Caught on tape: why did the lights go out

Literally a pair of headphones: denki you better not have done what i think youve done

Caught on tape: DID DENKI JUST SERIOUSLY SHORT CIRCUIT ALL THE POWER IN THE DORMS

Here comes dat girl: youre talking about our denki here, of course he did

Johnny test: god its like you dont know me, of course i did

easy bake oven: I was having a shower when the power went out, I don’t condone these types of things normally but beat his ass

uwuravity: take! His! Rights!

That’s rough buddy: my phone JUST died because i couldnt charge it, im not saying im mad but izuku will be when he comes back and finds me on his phone

slip ‘n’ slide: im starting a kickstarter to put denki down, the benefits of killing him would be our power not getting blown out-

Bakubro: sign me the fuck up

Hard boi: if yall dont put my name down-

Johnny test: someone please put me out of my mi-souri

Caught on tape: ill sign

Literally a pair of headphones: i would take the board around but someone put thE LIGHTS OUT

Johnny test: haha suffer

Chapter Text

memedoriya: izuku
Bakubro: bakugou
Hard boi: kirishima
razzle dazzle motherfucker: aoyama
two birds one hero: tokoyami
That’s rough buddy: todoroki
slip ‘n’ slide: mina
Not on tape: hagakure
Caught on tape: sero
Johnny test: kaminari
Karate kid: ojiro
These eyebags are gucci: shinsou
iwant2die: aizawa
(tit)an: mt lady
midthot: midnight
YEAHHHH: present mic
uwuravity: uraraka
Tenya Iida: Iida
Tokage sestuna: tokage
Here comes dat girl: tsuyu
big hand gorl: kendou
Metal boi: tetsutetsu
Copycat: monoma
easy bake oven: momo
Literally a pair of headphones: jirou
Limbs for days: shouji
Animal crossing: koda
all might: all might

two birds one hero: do u ever just

two birds one hero: think about how pure midoriya is
That’s rough buddy: yes

Bakubro: you say this when hes literally listening to next contestant by Nickleback

Limbs for days: that song is a fucking banger

slip ‘n’ slide: HERE COMES THE NEXT CONTESTANT

uwuravity: IS THAT

Here comes dat girl: YOUR HAND

Not on tape: ON MY

Caught on tape: *ANGRY GUITAR NOISES*

Literally a pair of headphones: GIRLFRIEND

Literally a pair of headphones: IS THAT YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

Johnny test: I WISH YOUD DO IT AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN

memedoriya: sskskskksskskswesdfjnbhgvfdswdfoiuytrew kacchan what have you caused

Bakubro: you’re the one who is listening to it why the fuck are you asking me

That’s rough buddy: that song is me whenever me and midoriya go literally anywhere

Caught on tape: wow nobody can resist midoriya

That’s rough buddy: they can when i grab his ass and stare at them

easy bake oven: Sorry you WHAT now

Literally a pair of headphone: watch out

Hard boi: momma is comng to whoop your ass

memedoriya: mom its okay

memedoriya: theres more people trying to go after todoroki than me so im the one that has to worry ._.

Caught on tape: rip midoriya

memedoriya: whenever we go literally anywhere random girls come up and start talking to him

That’s rough buddy: you do realize that at least half of them are all over you too?

memedoriya: wha

That’s rough buddy: i literally have to tell them that we’re gay

memedoriya: i would correct you and say im bi but if you said that then they probably would give up on you and go to me

(tit)an: you know what you do, you start making out with todoroki on their desk to piss them off

Bakubro: isnt that how we found out about you and midnight?

(tit)an: yes,

(tit)an: it stopped ppl hitting on her so im not complaining

That’s rough buddy: come to think of it, we have been seeing less people trying to hit on midnight

(tit)an: see it works

memedoriya: interesting

That’s rough buddy: meet me in our classroom after school tomorrow and we’ll let the rumors fly

Johnny test: skskksksksk im just imagining aziawa is sleepign and wakes up to todokidoki and midoriya making out on his desk

iwant2die: thats already happened

That’s rough buddy: been there done that

Johnny test: sksksksksksksksksksk midoriya is a hoe confirmed

Bakubro: you should of seen him last night when izuku,me,kiri and todoroki went to the club

memedoriya: KACCHAN STOP EXPOSING ME

Bakubro: YOU EXPOSED ME SO MUCH

Bakubro: THIS IS PAYBACK BITCH

slip ‘n’ slide: yall went to the club without me? Smh

Hard boi: im sorry my shistar

slip ‘n’ slide: you should be

slip ‘n’ slide: but what happened? I must know

Bakubro: twerk like miley came on and izuku being the drunk fucker started fucking twerking

slip ‘n’ slide: hE FUCKING WHAT NOW

Caught on tape: oh my god

Bakubro: he was twerking on todoroki until he left to go to the bathroom and started twerking on kirishima

Here comes dat girl: lucky bitch

slip ‘n’ slide: kiri got midoriya to twerk on him? I agree with tsuyu, lucky

uwuravity: why does kiri get mido ass but i dont?

Metal boi: only midoriya can pick up the lesbians

memedoriya: sksksksksksjjkhjgfyrdtesawqaersdtfgyuhkjhygtfrdesdtfgjyhgfrtdeswasrdtfyguiopkmnbvghjiop[;.,mjkl.lokmnmmnbvcxzasdfghjklpoiuytrewq I WAS DRUNK OKAY

Hard boi: dont worry midoriya, i think your twerking skills are great! Got me hard!

memedoriya: KIRI OMG

Bakubro: I have videos

slip ‘n’ slide: YOU HAVE WHAT NOW

uwuravity: OMG SEND

memedoriya: i feel like denki when shinsou was selling pics of him

Johnny test: welcome to the club, all are welcome

Johnny test: except bakugou and shinsou

Vine is dead: im on the bus with an old lady next to me and these two girls were kissing at one of the bus stops, the lady turns to me and says “these girls are so pretty, i wish i was that pretty at their age. I guess thats why i had to marry a man” and sero started choking

Caught on tape: iT wAs WhOlEsOmE oKaY

Not on tape: god i love old people

uwuravity: old people are so cute and wholesome

Caught on tape: i love how this went from midoriya twerking on kiri to how cute old people are in the span of 3 seconds

Bakubro: the only old people we have here are midnight and aizawa

YEAHHHH: HELL YEAH IM YOUNG

Midthot: IM NOT EVEN THAT OLD OH MY GOD

iwant2die: mic youre the most child-ish one out of all of us

uwuravity: present mic is a 30 year DJ who is also an english teacher AND a hero who stops crime by yelling yeah. That beautiful elegant troll of a man has THREE JOBS that takes so much skill to juggle three jobs, he probably has an assistant and a calender that he actually updates on his phone. He’s probably got shit loads of work on his back yet he still does every job well. All signs point to him being the responsible one yet aizawa ‘i carry around a sleeping bag’ shouta gets the credit of being the responsible one

Not on tape: I CAN HEAR THE TEA SPILLING

YEAHHHH: SOMEONE APPRECIATES ME

Midthot: wow what a queen

Caught on tape: fuck it up ochako

Literally a pair of headphones: how did you type that so quickly

uwuravity: magic fingers

Here comes dat girl: she does have magic fingers trust me

Literally a pair of headphones: wait what

Here comes dat girl: you know what i mean

Here comes dat girl: also have you ever thought about the fact that kirishima and denki are like, tomato sauce and mustard

Hard boi: bro, we match

Johnny test: oh my god bro

Johnny test: also has anyone turned the power back on? Everyone keep asking me to charge their phones

Literally a pair of headphones: YOURE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO YOURSELF

Johnny test: ill stop charging your phone

uwuravity: please dont, i need those videos of midoriya

memedoriya: uraraka why

memedoriya: i believed in you

Metal boi: didnt she have the biggest crush on midoriya in our first year?

Hard boi: OH YEAH SHE DID

uwuravity: ah, straight me

uwuravity: such a innocent species

Literally a pair of headphones: i think everyone at one point had a crush on midoriya

Literally a pair of headphones: like even i did and im the biggest lesbian ever

slip ‘n’ slide: i had one on him on the first day ngl

memedoriya: wait what

uwuravity: Iida did as well

Tenya Iida: Uraraka!

uwuravity: :3

Johnny test: even iida cant resist midoriya

Johnny test: lol my crush on him was in our second year but i was kinda confused with my sexuality so it was probably jsut hormones talking

Hard boi: second year, training session with izuku

memedoriya: WAIT WHAT

Not on tape: first year for like a week until my gaydar said no and that was that

Here comes dat girl: when he caught me for a training excersice and i was just chilling in his arms

Limbs for days: training camp when i protected him

two birds one hero: same excersice were he caught tsuyu, when he said that my quirk was amazing and looked at it like it was the sun

big hand gorl: training camp where he had his shirt off

easy bake oven: Before I went out with jirou, there’s no point in lying

memedoriya: EVEN MOMO??

Metal boi: i feel like im the only one who hasnt had a crush on him

Bakubro: did you just assume i had a fucking crush on him?

Bakubro: thats gay

Metal boi: you literally have a boyfriend who had a crush on midoriya

Bakubro: its not gay if you say no homo

Metal boi: true

Johnny test: guys

Johnny test: boba means boob

Literally a pair of headphones: what

Johnny test: search it up

slip ‘n’ slide: OH MY GOD

Not on tape: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

big hand gorl: we been drinking

big hand gorl: t i t t y t e a

That’s rough buddy: this is what you dont drink boba tea

That’s rough buddy: you get a mouthful of titty

memedoriya: god i love you

That’s rough buddy: i love you more

memedoriya: no i do!

That’ rough buddy: dont start a fight you cant fucking finish

Bakubro: ugh

Hard boi: hey bakugou, i love you

Bakubro: i love me too

Hard boi: ….

Hard boi: hey todoroki and midoriya, you up for another?

Bakubro: get ur fucking ass back here you red haired bitch

memedoriya: ei if kacchan starts acting up you can date me!

That’s rough buddy: guess ill just die then

Midthot: this is the gayest shit ive ever seen

Tokage sestuna: no one will love me as much as i love myself and it shows

Tenya Iida: Don’t worry Tokage, you’ll find someone one day!

Tokage sestuna: i told yall that iida is best boi, but yall didnt listen

Hard boi: i totally photosynthesis with this

Bakubro: NO

Bakubro: please for the love of god, stop using big words to describe things you dont know the meaning of

Hard boi: sorry i have a condition called heterochromatic

That’s rough buddy: you too huh

slip ‘n’ slide: wait what does that mean

Not on tape: babe youre an idiot

Bakubro: heterochromatic means two different eye colours you idiots

slip ‘n’ slide: so basically todoroki’s eyes

That’s rough buddy: yeah but mine arent natural

memedoriya: dont ask

memedoriya: just

memedoriya: dont

Bakubro: its his tragic anime backstory that only the main and cool characters have

slip ‘n’ slide: bAkUgOu StOp BrEaKiNg ThE fOuRtH wAlL

Bakubro: FIGHT ME

Hard boi: stop trying to fight my shistar

slip ‘n’ slide: wow thx shistar <3

Hard boi: <3

Hard boi: also does anyone have shaving cream? I ran out of mine

Johnny test: i dont have any, they dont taste nice

Hard boi: do you eat it?

Johnny test: why would i eat it if it didnt taste nice lmao

These eyebags are gucci: this is the person im dating

Johnny test: you love me

These eyebags are gucci: do i

Johnny test: yes

Not on tape: is it just me or would it be interesting to meet the teenage version of their parents?

Bakubro: i never wanna meet the teenage versions of my parents

memedoriya: i would!

Bakubro: midoriya ive seen a picture of what our moms looked like as teenagers and trust me, you dont wanna

Midthot: no but i bet all might would

Not on tape: m i d n i g h t

Johnny test: imagine if our kids wanted to see what we were like as teenagers

Johnny test: like

Johnny test: holy shit shinsoU DELETE ALL YOUR PICTURES OF ME

Not on tape: EVERYBODY PANIC

uwuravity: IM DELETING ALL OF OUR MESSAGES

Metal boi: GET RID OF THE EVIDENCE

easy bake oven: Time to laugh

Tokage sestuna: GET RID OF ME TALKING ABOUT EATING ASS

two birds one hero: miDoRiYa PuRe

big hand gorl: GET RID OF ALL THE SEX JOKES

Not on tape: GET RID OF MIDORIYAS HAREM

iwant2die: i like this

That’s rough buddy: bakugou get rid of the izuku twerking videos

Bakubro: no

Bakubro: this is payback

Bakubro: besides when we’re older and top heroes im posting this video with the caption, ‘number one hero, more like number one THOT-’

memedoriya: PLEASE DONT

memedoriya: D E L E T E

memedoriya: I T

Bakubro: ACTUALLY DOES ANYONE HAVE ALL MIGHTS NUMBER BESIDES MIDORIYA

iwant2die: I do

Midthot: please dont tell me you slept with him too

iwant2die: …

memedoriya: THATS MY DAD

That’s rough buddy: I KNEW ALL MIGHT WAS YOUR DAD

slip ‘n’ slide: this is a mess

iwant2die has added all might to ‘disaster gays’

slip ‘n’ slide: EVERYONE ACT CHRISTIAN

slip ‘n’ slide: so how was your date with inko?

Bakubro: so much for christian

all might: how do know about that?

slip ‘n’ slide: bakugou and midoriya!

all might: WAIT THEY KNEW TOO

memedoriya: ...we kinda set you up….

all might: …

all might: im so proud

all might: you bamboozled me

Bakubro: i was the one who did most of it tf

all might: young bakugou, congratulations on you and izuku for making up

all might: im so proud of you as well

Bakubro >>>>>> Hard boi

Bakubro: OH MY GOD ALL MIGHT ID PROUD OF ME WSEDRTFYGUHIJOJUHYGTFRESWAZSDXFCGVBHNJMK>>>>> Hard boi

Bakubro: OH MY GOD IM A FUCKING IDIOT

‘disaster gays’

all might: also, the date went well

Not on tape: it did huh

Caught on tape: tell us more

all might: not to be rude, but i dont know who some of you are

Caught on tape: class 1a with a few from 1b, teachers and mt lady for some reason

(tit)an: ignore me

all might: oh okay

all might: well we had our ice cream, talked for a while, talked some more, then some more, ok we talked a lot, then i walked her home and

Not on tape: AND?????

slip ‘n’ slide: OH MY GOD DID YOU KISS

all might: …..^^

Not on tape: HOLY SHIT

Bakubro: fucking finally

big hand gorl: THATS SO FUCKING CUTE

memedoriya: WQESRDTFGYUHIJKIHUYGTFRSWQAWSEDRFTYUIOP{}{“?>:>LOP:>:{_)(OIKL:{_)OLOIUYTFVGREWQASW@!QAZXCVBNM>>>>>> That’s rough buddy

memedoriya: 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Chapter Text

memedoriya: izuku
Bakubro: bakugou
Hard boi: kirishima
razzle dazzle motherfucker: aoyama
two birds one hero: tokoyami
That’s rough buddy: todoroki
slip ‘n’ slide: mina
Not on tape: hagakure
Caught on tape: sero
Johnny test: kaminari
Karate kid: ojiro
These eyebags are gucci: shinsou
iwant2die: aizawa
(tit)an: mt lady
midthot: midnight
YEAHHHH: present mic
uwuravity: uraraka
Tenya Iida: Iida
Tokage sestuna: tokage
Here comes dat girl: tsuyu
big hand gorl: kendou
Metal boi: tetsutetsu
Copycat: monoma
easy bake oven: momo
Literally a pair of headphones: jirou
Limbs for days: shouji
Animal crossing: koda
Soda: satou
all might: all might

Metal boi: i have discovered one thing in my teenage years of my pathetic existence called life

Metal boi: in this world, its either bitch or be bitched

big hand gorl: what happened this time

Metal boi: kirishima is insecure about his manliness, although he’s the manliest man i know but he doesnt believe me!

Metal boi: i dont want to sound soft, but a bitch could use a hug

big hand gorl: do u want to cuddle

Metal boi: yes

Slip ‘n’ slide: people get so caught up thinking about one thing they dont like about thier body, like salt and baking powder go into a cake and theyre pretty gross on their own but the cake is damn delicous

Hard boi: ….. Thats actually really uplifting

Hard boi: thank u lesbian

Slip ‘n’ slide: youre welcome my shistar <3

big hand gorl: but why didnt you just go to bakugou?

Big hand gorl: Hes your boyfriend isnt he?

Hard boi: hes kinda angry right now

That’s rough buddy: what happened this time?

Hard boi: he took a which hero are you quiz and he got kaminari and he started screaming so loud now hes crying

memedoriya: that reminds me of that time shouto did that quiz and then he got endeavor

uwuravity: oh no

Literally a pair of headphones: even when kaminari isnt trying, he still makes bakugou cry

Johnny test: ice is just water having a boner

Bakubro: fUcKiNg StOp

Bakubro: please,

Bakubro: shut the fuck up

Johnny test: so tell me, on a scale from 1 to 10, how angry are you at me?

Bakubro: 9

Johnny test: hm...i can do better than that

These eyebags are gucci: no youre not doing whatever you were going to do

Johnny test: you dont even know what i was going to do!

Johnny test: Tf

These eyebags are gucci: everything you do is a bad decison, so i automatically say no to it,

These eyebags are gucci: its just a natural reaction ok dont get mad at me

Johnny test: youre mean

Johnny test: bitch

These eyebags are gucci: FIGHT ME

These eyebags are gucci: LIKE COME AT ME BITCH ILL DESTROY YOU JUST LIKE I DID LAST NIGHT

iwant2die: god

iwant2die: i should have kept the stork and threw shinsou away

YEAHHHH: yeah maybe the stork could fly you away from this bullshit

iwant2die: you know me so well

all might: You say this in front of your students? And since when was shinsou your son? Did I miss something?

iwant2die: ok so technically,

iwant2die: im texting it and not saying it to my students so i got you there

iwant2die: and about shinsou

iwant2die: uh

iwant2die: i adopted him

iwant2die: like,

iwant2die: i saw him

iwant2die: dying in the shitty hero help thing

iwant2die: he looked so sad and he could do so much more with his quirk

iwant2die: and i literally just took him

iwant2die: dumped him into my class and

iwant2die: hes mine now

iwant2die: you cant stop me

Midthot: reminds me of something, doesnt it all might?

Hard boi: i cant believe i put on my best crocs for this

slip ‘n’ slide: smh what a waste

uwuravity: dont you just hate it when you finally cut ties with someone and your climbing partner falls down the cliff

Not on tape: dont you just hate it when you start kissing a cute girl and then the kindergarten teacher and everyone else looks at you weirdly

Johnny test: dont you hate it when you use too much powder to make your chocolate milk and the crematory workers look at you weirdly

Hard boi: dont you hate it when your shirt falls down the stairs with you inside it

Here comes dat girl: dont you just hate it when you were born at an incredibly young age

That’s rough buddy: dont you hate it when midoriya gives you the power to use your own quirk against your father you hate but you only do it because you dont want to upset him because upsetting izuku is the worst thing you could ever do

Caught on tape: dont you just hate it when you send her a dick pic and she sends one back

Slip ‘n’ slide: but then its bigger than yours

Vine is dead: what girl sent you a pic

Vine is dead: what girl did you send a pic too

Caught on tape: babe its just a joke, its okay

Vine is dead: no its not okay sero

Hard boi: oooooohhhh sero you got the Misses mad

slip ‘n’ slide: remember,

slip ‘n’ slide: happy wife happy life

Caught on tape: we’re married?

Vine is dead: apparently

Caught on tape: lit

Johnny test: imagine carpet in a kitchen

Hard boi: bro,

Hard boi: what the actual fuck

These eyebags are gucci: sero,

These eyebags are gucci: you can have him now

Caught on tape: im good bro like i got a big tiddy gf who likes bondage im settled for life man

These eyebags are gucci: fuck

Johnny test: are you trying to sell me

These eyebags are gucci: of course not,

These eyebags are gucci: who would buy you?

iwant2die: my son

Karate kid: hey guys

Karate kid: ojiro here, because i know yall forgot about me

Karate kid: do you think i could turn one of you into a trap

Bakubro: why

Karate kid: i have my reasons

two birds one hero: hes watching fap or trap compilations

Karate kid: tokoyami wtf

two birds one hero: well youre literally watching it in the common room and i just happened to see

Karate kid: aNyWaY-

Karate kid: i need a guy

Karate kid: like, right now

Caught on tape: i feel like this is the sailor moon thing all over again

That’s rough buddy: in my defence, we all looked great

Johnny test: i looked the best, dont come at me

uwuravity: not gonna lie, you did look like a girl

slip ‘n’ slides: your legggggs

Not on tape: i wish i had visible legs as good as denki’s

Karate kid: denki

Karate kid: im turning you into a trap

Not on tape: he is the chosen one

Johnny test: time to make my boyfriend bisexual

slip ‘n’ slide: i think you made everyone bisexual that day

easy bake oven: I mean, it was pretty close not gonna lie

Johnny test: WAIT

Johnny test: MOMO

Johnny test: CAN WE USE YOUR FANCY EYELINER

easy bake oven: Of course, anything for my best friend, I’ll go get it

uwuravity: i remember once when momo gave me a makeover i liked the eyeliner and asked how much it was and h o l y s h i t

Literally a pair of headphones: she doesnt speak broke

slip ‘n’ slide: momo, the girl with wings that stabbed jirou thru the heart

Bakubro: you all are sickening

These eyebags are gucci: i just walked into my room and theres momo putting eyeliner on denki and ojiro tying his hair up in bows while hes wearing a skirt

These eyebags are gucci: what has my life come to

all might: I found it hard to believe that these are our future heroes

all might: Besides Izuku

memedoriya: :)

iwant2die: dont worry, you can just say it

iwant2die: you’re all sickening

Midthot: do you think denki could one of those tik tok thots

Johnny test: yes

These eyebags are gucci: no

Johnny test: why must you hate me

Johnny test: if i died, you’d regret what you say to me now!

These eyebags are gucci: its funny how you think death can get you out of this relationship

Johnny test: …

big hand gorl: you cant escape now,

Not on tape: hes got you trapped

Here comes dat girl: there is no escape

Karate kid: ok so i gave denki sharp ass eyeliner, momo’s skirt, a band t shirt over a black and white checkered long sleeved shirt and i put cute pink clips and bows in his hair

Karate kid: denki.is.an.e.girl.confirmed.img

uwuravity: im bisexual now

Bakubro: what the actual fuck

memedoriya: you look great denki!

These eyebags are gucci: my boyfriend is a girl and i dont like it

Caught on tape: n u t

all might: I’m done with this class, goodbye young midoriya, goodbye young bakugou, goodbye young todoroki, goodbye young midoriya

iwant2die: you said goodbye midoriya twice

all might: I like young midoriya

iwant2die: god i regret working here

iwant2die: you’re all making me get gray hairs

slip ‘n’ slide: ive always wanted to ask this, since you hate UA so much then why are you working here?

Slip ‘n’ slide: like, what made you decide to work here?

iwant2die: i threw a dart at a map and it landed in a trash can

Johnny test: DONT BE RUDE

Hard boi: oH mAh GaWd

Bakubro: stop with the kylie jenner refernces, ive had e n o u g h

Literally a pair of headphones: bakugou isnt even angry anymore hes just done

That’s rough buddy: its the equivalent to, ‘im not mad, just disappointed’

Not on tape: sksksk

Johnny test: a.pickle.in.a.snickers.bar.img

Johnny test: behold, the snickle

Karate kid: thanks, i hate it

Slip ‘n’ slide: DENKI WHAT THE FUCK

Bakubro: IM ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL YOU

Hard boi: denki why

uwuravity: im leaving this class

Caught on tape: how do i tell denki i want to hit his face with a brick

easy bake oven: One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundemental item used in building walls. Repeatedly

Caught on tape: that was the most beautiful thing ive ever read

easy bake oven: Thank you I try

Johnny test: my makeup is finished

Karate kid: the eyelashes are as black as tokoyamis soul

easy bake oven: I made the eyelashes as long as the list of people that Bakugou hates

Metal boi: so long u cant even see it

big hand gorl: where did it go

Bakubro: ILL KILL ALL OF YOU

memedoriya: kacchan ive told you to stop saying that, I never understand why you always say that

Bakubro: Probably because of my long and dangerous history of violence i dont know why you keep forgetting this

Hard boi: BUT I STILL LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL FUCKING IDIOT

uwuravity: only real lovers will call their partners idiots

Vine is dead: hanta, you have never called me an idiot

Caught on tape: because youre not an idiot

Vine is dead: but uraraka said only real lovers would say that

Caught on tape: kiribaku is an exception because both of them are idiots

Hard boi: did you just use our ship name as a verb?

Caught on tape: yes

Caught on tape: fight me

Vine is dead: why wont you call me an idiot

Vine is dead: hanta im coming over until you do

Caught on tape: the doors are locked at this time of the night

Caught on tape: and besides i can see you in kendou’s room across the dorms

Vine is dead: ill just use your tape to hoist myself up like youre rapunzel like always

iwant2die: so thats what those fucking noises was the other night

uwuravity: sero’s tape must be really strong

Tenya Iida: I have to confirm,

Tenya Iida: Sero’s tape can hold me, Momo, Bakugou and Mina just from one of his arms

Not on tape: I was there too

Tenya Iida: My bad

Tenya Iida: Correction, Momo, Bakugou, Mina, Hagakure and I

(tit)an: and how did you find this out exactly?

Tenya Iida: During a training exercise, Mina accidently melted the platform we were standing on with her acid and we fell down a roughly 30 meter drop and Sero quickly shot out his tape and we quickly grabbed onto it and it held all of us until he hoisted us back up like, what Ibara said, Rapunzel

Slip ‘n’ slide: oops, i did it again

Not on tape: what a man y’all

All might: well done sero!

Caught on tape: ALL MIGHT COMPLIMENTED ME

Caught on tape: GET OUT OF MY WAY BROKE HOES

Hard boi: petition to rename sero’s hero name to rapunzel

Vine is dead: i agree

Bakubro: get in my way ill fucking murder you

uwuravity: what the fuck? Whats wrong with you?

Bakubro: off the top of my head, id say low self esteem, a lack of maternal affection, and a generic prediposition for anxiety and depression

Karate kid: ‘off the top of my head’

iwant2die: if you need any counseling then there is school counseling

iwant2die: i could set up a therapy session if you really need it, like seriously

Hard boi: he has a therapist and theyre best friends

Bakubro: no the fuck we arent

That’s rough buddy: why is my boyfriend so strong

That’s rough buddy: Izuku just coughed and broke his pencil in two

Hard boi: god i wish i was that pencil

big hand gorl: i think we all do

big hand gorl: all in favor with agreeing that they would want to be crushed between midoriya’s fingers like a measly pencil?

Metal boi: i

That’s rough buddy: i

Hard boi: i

Johnny test: i

Literally a pair of headphones: i

easy bake oven: i

Karate kid: i

uwuravity: i

Here comes dat girl: i

Soda: i

Not on tape: i

Slip ‘n’ slide: i

Razzle dazzle motherfucker: i

two birds one hero: i

Limbs for days: i

Caught on tape: i

Vine is dead: i

(tit)an: i

Midthot: i

Tenya Iida: I

These eyebags are gucci: i

uwuravity: i

Tokage sestuna: i

easy bake oven: I

Animal crossing: i

Copycat: i

Not on tape: wait why did midnight and yuu do it? And why are iida and Momo the only ones who use proper grammar?

Midthot: both very good questions,

Midthot: that i cannot answer

Bakubro: so you’re allowed to refuse a question on the spot bUT IM FUCKING NOT

Slip ‘n’ slide: even though bakugou always knows the answer anyway this is tHE FUCKING TEA

Midthot: …

Midthot: you shouldnt talk to your elders like that

Bakubro: SO NOW YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOURE OLD

Midthot: YUU THEYRE BULLYING ME

(tit)an: i could squash you all with my pinky finger

(tit)an: like, literally

That’s rough buddy: Izuku could detroit smash you to the fucking moon if he wanted to

big hand gorl: see,

big hand gorl: we have god on our side

memedoriya: dfgjhk

memedoriya: kacchan said to me the other day, ‘you may be small and submissive but you could beat both of us (todoroki) with your pinky finger and i think thats some fucking plus ultra shit right there’ and i think everyone is in the same boat from the looks of it

Slip ‘n’ slide: the fuck?

Bakubro: to be fair, i was drunk

Bakubro: and yall know how i am when im drunk

Hard boi: you’ve never gotten drunk in front of the class????

Johnny test: YOURE TELLING ME THAT BAKUGOU ONLY GETS DRUNK WITH MIDORIYA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Bakubro: WELL IF I GOT DRUNK IN FRONT OF YOU IDIOTS YOU WOULD ALL DRAW FUCKING DICKS AND SHIT ON MY FACE OR SMEAR MARMITE INTO MY HAIR AND EARS LIKE WE DID TO AIZAWA ONCE WHEN HE FELL ASLEEP IN THE COMMON ROOM LIKE A FUCKWIT

iwant2die: it took 2 weeks for it to finally come out

That’s rough buddy: to be blunt,

That’s rough buddy: he doesnt trust you guys but izuku is a fucking cinnamon roll who would never do that

memedoriya: its really funny, hes like the opposite of what he is normally

memedoriya: aka, hes strangely nice and affectionate

Johnny test: mina, get the vodka

Slip ‘n’ slide: im on it

Soda: MINA I SWEAR TO GOD STOP SLIDING DOWN THE HALLS ON YOUR ACID IM GETTING GREY HAIRS AND IM LITERALLY GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK

iwant2die: how do you think i feel

Literally a pair of headphones: old

iwant2die: precisely

Tokage sestuna: god, wheres mothman when you need him

two birds one hero: you believe in mothman?

Tokage sestuna: of fucking course i do who doesnt

big hand gorl: sane people

two birds one hero: mothman is my hero

two birds one hero: i feel like we’re gonna be friends

Tokage sestuna: you can be on my list of best boys!

two birds one hero: whos on the list?

Tokage sestuna: Iida

two birds one hero: ...only him?

Tokage sestuna: of course not!

two birds one hero: oh ok good

Tokage sestuna: cause now youre gonna be my second best boi!

two birds one hero: okay nevermind

 

3:46 EST PM

 

YEAHHHH: ok so aizawa just bolted up in bed randomly and just hissed “b a k u g o u” and left with a fire extingusier what the fuck did he do this time

memedoriya: he got drunk again and i had to detroit smash him in the face because he kept saying thay the duolingo owl is coming to kill him for not doing his daily spanish lesson and he started freaking out so bad he set a few things on fire and now hes crying

Karate kid: a ‘few’

Slip ‘n’ slide: the duolingo bird: spanish or vanish *snaps fingers*

Johnny test: wow i knew the duolingo owl was thanos

Caught on tape: holy shit

Midthot: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS STILL UP

Midthot: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Midthot: WE’RE ALL TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP

 

Not on tape: what if thanos snapped his fingers but captian america had a reverse uno card what would happen

Johnny test: bye bye thanos

Slip ‘n’ slide: wow

Caught on tape: rip thanos

Caught on tape: but anyways,

Caught on tape: how is bakugou doing?

memedoriya: he set fire to my all might blanket and aizawa is putting it out

Caught on tape: who cares about thanos, rip midoriya’s all might blanket

memedoriya: ill just buy another one its all good, im just glad its not me kacchan is blowing up tbh

Not on tape: ask momo for some money shes loaded

uwuravity: wish i had that

Slip ‘n’ slide: interviewer: so what inspired you to enroll in the hero course?
Uraraka: money

uwuravity: sToP ExPoSiNg Me

easy bake oven: By the way Uraraka, you owe me 8000 yen from when I bought you McDonalds for our double date night

uwuravity: i what now

easy bake oven: Don’t worry, it’s okay I wouldn’t charge you for it, we’re friends!

easy bake oven: Uraraka?

Here comes dat girl: shes crying on the floor

uwuravity: dOnT sCaRe Me lIkE tHaT

Literally a pair of headphones: do all the couples just stay in one of their rooms or something like wtf

Vine is dead: i havent been to my room since me and sero started dating

Caught on tape: what is privacy

These eyebags are gucci: i dont remember the last time denki hasnt slept with me in my bed

Johnny test: i live there now

Johnny test: its been years since ive been in my room ngl

Hard boi: yeah i made it into a drake and josh shrine

Slip ‘n’ slide: so thats why its locked with 5 different locks

Hard boi: yes

Not on tape: i have some drake and josh merch from when i was younger i could add in if you want

Hard boi: i could give you the keys tomorrow

Tokage sestuna: why is everyone so chill with kirishima making denki’s room into a drake and josh shrine?

Midthot: ALL OF YOU GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Johhny test: you’re not the boss of us

iwant2die: no, but i am

iwant2die: go the fuck to sleep before i break you into 3 equal pieces like a fucking kit kat

Johnny test: yes dad

Caught on tape: yes dad

hard boi: yes dad

Tokage sestuna: yes dad

Not on tape: yes dad

These eyebags are gucci: yes dad

Here comes dat girl: yes dad

easy bake oven: yes dad

uwuravity: yes dad

Big hand gorl: yes dad

Tenya Iida: I dedicate my entire life to jesus christ and this is the thanks I get

Slip ‘n’ slide: HOLY SHIT IIDA MEMED

memedoriya: its too early in the morning for iida to finally meme, my dorm room is burnt, bakugou is crying loudly and not letting go of me, aizawa is throwing vodka out the window and ibara is using sero’s tape to climb up the side of the dorm next to me, i can hear mina in the next room watching loud hentai, i just want to sleep and this is what i get in return