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Sticking Your Nose Where it Doesn’t Belong

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Heinz had heard the phrase ‘don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong’ plenty of times before, but he’d never been an avid believer in that rule until ten minutes ago. 

“Pumpkin, let go of Daddy’s nose please,” Heinz pleaded with his baby girl. Vanessa was only a few months old, but holy guacamole did she have a strong grip! “If you let me go, I won’t make you eat those mashed peas you hate so much! How’s that? We got a deal?” 

Unfortunately, Vanessa hadn’t quite reached the age for understanding bribery.

“Okay, I’ve tried the easy way. And don’t look at me like that!” Heinz protested as Vanessa gave him a wide-eyed gaze (his baby girl had his eyes). Because she held onto his nose with both hands, he couldn’t turn his eyes away. “I see what your game is. You’re trying to hypnotize me with your overwhelming cuteness so that I’ll do your bidding!” 

Charlene came into the room with a bottle of warm milk, rolling her eyes playfully as she separated Vanessa from Heinz. Vanessa reached out to bat in the direction of Heinz’s nose until Charlene eased the bottle into Vanessa’s mouth. 

“If you do this while she’s teething, I’m not paying for the rhinoplasty.”