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Beneath Your Skin

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Yoshiki was furious - nothing had gone as planned today, even they had spent hours in the studio, they had achieved nothing in the end because their had been technical problems so all the music they had recorded was gone in the end - and they couldn’t record it again right away because of everyones busy schedule. Sugizo had left for band practice with Luna Sea, Toshi had mentioned Shinya on his way out and he didn’t even listen what Heath and Pata had left to do, because he was already close to smash his drumset into pieces - once again. Instead he had left as well - the poor technician had nothing to do with it, it wasn’t anyones fault that the recording device had died and killed all their work. It was just so fucking annoying…And the main problem was that he now didn’t even know what to do. Besides the pain in his wrist had returned and he didn’t want it to become even worse so training was out of question. Even while driving he had felt that his whole body was protesting - usually he could ignore it, but today it just added to the things that made him angry - this time about himself. Why couldn’t it all be gone? Of course he exactly knew why - he had stretched his limits over the years, forcefully pushing his body to obey when it was already at its end but still he was alive. Not well, but alive and that was all that mattered in the end. At least that was what he had thought for so many years. Maybe he finally had to pay the price for it? With a sigh he finally put the car to a hold in front of his house, wincing slightly when a sharp pain flashed through his head - when was the last time he had actually drunk something? Probably when he had left this morning and another sigh left his lips - at least that would explain the headache and everything else as well. Maybe he should just go to bed and try to relax for the rest of the day - nobody was expecting him to do any work besides recording today and a time out would be the best for his body…With a sad smile Yoshiki entered his house, kicking of his shoes, not even bothering where they would land. If only he could sleep. But that was something that never came easily to him, not anymore, it was like he had messed up with this as well and while he was heading to the kitchen he was already trying to figure out if playing the piano for some hours would make the pain really that worse or not.


After drinking a whole bottle of water he slightly felt better - the headache was fading but just when he had decided that he could at least play for some minutes his phone caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but swear, he had finally calmed down a little and now they wanted to bother him again after he had decided to be done with the world for today? A quick glance at the caller ID let him frown but he decided to take the call anyways - it was rare for the other to call him and maybe he could take his mind away from the fucked up recording device he deeply regretted not to have at least tried and kicked it. „Camui…“ Yoshiki could almost hear the smile on the other ones face in his response what made him smile in return - whatever it was, he couldn’t help it but it was hard to stay mad whenever he was talking to Gackt. „I hope you are home, Yoshiki? There is something I need to talk about.“ Obvious but he wasn’t buying it, the younger one sounded way too happy for bad news and still he knew if he didn’t play along there was a high chance that the other might just hung up on him. „Yes I am. In fact I just came home ten minutes ago.“ „Would you please open the door then?“ Caught of guard - again - Yoshiki frowned at his phone for some seconds, before he reluctantly went to his front door to open it - and stare at a really happy smiling Gackt who stood right before him, phone still in his hands. On first instinct he had wanted to close the door again but the other one didn’t gave him a chance for that, pulling him in for a kiss and all Yoshiki could do was kissing him back, while grumbling slightly. He didn’t even protest when Gackt lifted him up, just wrapping his legs around the other ones waist and biting his lower lip to remind him to at least take off his shoes and close the door. „You could at least have let me get changed…“ Yoshiki pouted slightly but clung on the singer even more - one more passionate kiss making him forget what he was actually trying to say. Did it even matter? In the end, Gackt always did what he wanted to get what he wanted and to be honest he was kind of happy to have him here now because that gave him a chance to really concentrate on something else but playing piano or fretting about when to repeat the recording and so on. After they finally broke apart he was gasping for air, feeling at least slightly better but still confused about why Gackt was here - even now he couldn’t deny that he was really happy to see the vocalist again. „So…You can’t tell me you just came here to kiss me, did you?“ Yoshiki asked with an innocent smile, while cuddling even closer to the other one who had finally taken seat in the only armchair in his living room - it just was his place to be and the only reason Yoshiki kept it, was just this. It was Gackst favorite and so he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away even it didn’t match all his other furniture…


For a moment there was only silence between them, both still trying to catch their breath before Gackt finally spoke. „I had a feeling that you need me, so can you blame me for wanting to take care of you?“ Oh well. Yoshiki couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little, he should have known that Gackt would find a way to bring his powers into it - or at least the powers he claimed to have. „For real now? You felt that my day was getting better and better after I got up and that I just left the studio because otherwise I would have killed another drumset and…!“ Yoshiki could only blink when he was kissed again, soon melting against the other’s lips and pouting much more when they broke apart again. „You know that’s not fair, you can’t always kiss me to make me shut up.“ Gackt hummed in agreement, while he let his fingers trace over Yoshikis back, sending shivers down the drummers back. „But I can try as long as I’m around. And I could give you a massage, your shoulders are practically screaming at me right now, dear.“ This time, Yoshiki could only nod while he took a deep breath - maybe that was what he needed after all? He had wanted to relax and with Gackt around he was sure he would be able to sleep - it was a miracle to him how the younger one managed to calm him down so much but he did and that was all that counted. „Don’t you wanna get up so we can go upstairs?“ Yoshiki just shook his head, while he warily glanced up, trying his best not to laugh. „You just want me to get up to have a better look at my ass.“ For a moment Gackt just starred at him, before he broke out in a hearty laugh and shook his head. „Oh don’t worry, I don’t want to just look at it.“ With a gentle nudge he then was shoved from the other ones lap and with a laugh he got up, while arching one eyebrow at the vocalist. „Is that so? And you really think I will let you do whatever you have in mind just because you said you massage my shoulders?“ Yoshiki couldn’t help but grin while he carefully stepped backwards as Gackt got up as well - even he would never ever admit it, Gackt was the first person after hide who managed to make him feel better, who could help him relax and calm down and moreover made him happy again. After hides death Yoshiki had been convinced that he would die alone, with a broken heart nobody could heal, but over the years, things had changed and now he was as comfortable with Gackt as he had been with hide. Well, maybe not exact as comfortable but as close as it could get. Meanwhile Gackt didn’t answer but he didn’t have to - the smile on his lips said enough as he chased Yoshiki into his bedroom.


There, the drummer found himself trapped against the wall and he could only smile to himself - some things never changed, no matter what. But instead of kissing him, Gackt just watched him, while they both were trying to catch their breath again what made Yoshiki pout and try to lean in for a kiss only to twitch back when something was almost shoved in his face. „You said you wanted to get changed - now here’s your chance. Go, take a shower and then come back, wearing this.“ Yoshiki couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he realized what it was - nether less he took the collar, still pouting and headed for the bathroom - Gackt wanted to play then he definitely wouldn’t miss out on it - just making sure the vocalist wouldn’t realize that it were not his rules that they were sticking too. He took his time in the shower - making sure to let the other wait just a couple of minutes more than necessary before he grabbed a towel  and with a sigh his eyes fell on the collar again. It was nice. Beautiful. Black, thick, covered in lace and with a small ring - almost perfect if it had not been for the ring. It made him worry, even Gackt knew how damaged his neck was and how carefully it needed to be treated - still a tingle of excitement remained while he wondered just what exactly had come to Gackts mind to get him something like this. But he wouldn’t question it, it was a gift after all and he’d been wearing collars and chokers before so it was no big deal at all. After he had at least dried his hair a little Yoshiki found himself starring at the reflection in his bathroom mirror - not only did the collar fit perfectly, it just looked so damn good on him and almost hypnotized he let his fingers stroke over the soft surface, before he managed to break away and get back into his bedroom where he found Gackt on his bed already - completely naked and with a low hum he sat down on his lap, placing his arms around the other ones neck. „You really like to see those things on me, don’t you?“ Gackt just smiled while he started tracing Yoshikis back with his fingers, causing a shiver to run down the other ones spine. „To be precise - I like to claim you as mine and remind everyone else out there who you belong to.“ A careful tug at the collar followed which made Yoshiki gasp before he broke out in a wide grin. „Oh, I do remember you saying something about us not being able to ever make it official because it would ruin the reputation of both of us…“ Gackt only laughed, before he leaned close enough so could whisper into the other ones ear. „Maybe I changed my mind.“ Yoshiki didn’t answer but turn his head so they could kiss - part of him wanted to believe it - but the other, rational part knew that it would be suicide, so talking about it was not necessary.


When they finally broke apart again, Yoshiki let himself be gently nudged over until his back hit the mattress and he glanced up at Gackt with an innocent smile on his lips, shuddering slightly when he looked into the others eyes and was met with so much love it caused him to swallow - he didn’t deserve this. None of it to be precise - he had warned Gackt so many times before but somehow the younger came always back to him. „Don’t…Don’t look at me like this.“ He barely managed to whisper, his voice already threatening to break, but instead of looking away, Gackt only leaned closer that he could wrap his arms around the other ones fragile body. „Like what?“ Oh he was so good at playing innocent, just that he wouldn’t buy it, he couldn’t…It wasn’t right. „Like I’m your whole world when you should be miles away at best…And not falling for someone as broken as me.“ Yoshiki flinched when the vocalist moved - even it was just a kiss to the forehead, still he couldn’t get the image of Gackt slapping him out of his head. Maybe because it had happened the last time he had started talking „nonsense“ like this…He didn’t dare to open his eyes again until he felt soft lips on his skin - right over his damaged wrist before Gackt carefully entwined their fingers together. „You might be broken, Yo-chan, even beyond repair. But that doesn’t mean you can’t let me stay at your side. I also lost the love of my live pretty early. I know your pain. I just wish for you to accept it - that I am here. That I won’t leave like this because I know how it hurts, but you can’t let pain define your whole life. Stop running away from happiness once, will you? If it makes you happy, keep pushing me away but I won’t leave you. There are few people left that matter to me and I won’t let your egoistic behavior destroy it. Just stop…being so damn scared every time somebody offers you even the slightest affection. You’re not a black hole that sucks emotions out of people and leave them high and dry. I know that you need to walk your path alone - I do not intend to ask you to share this path, but I ask for you to come to me when you need a break. I want you to trust me.“ A sad smile slowly started to appear on Gackst face, making Yoshikis heart ache even more but before he could speak out, the vocalist continued and it felt like his heart shattered. „But you never truly will, will you?“ And with that he made intentions to leave - but he couldn’t even get up properly before Yoshiki had pulled him down again for a desperate, bittersweet kiss that let tears trickle down the drummers cheeks and both of them gasp for air when the broke apart again. „Don’t…Don’t leave.“ A sigh left Gackts lips before he shook his head, kissing Yoshiki again. „Stop running away.“ It took a moment but finally Yoshiki took a deep breath, pulling him even closer. „I will. I promise.“ Some consideration later they were kissing again.


A sharp pain made Yoshiki gasp and look up in surprise before he couldn’t help but grin. „You really meant it, didn’t you?“ Gackt just shrugged before he placed a kiss on the bite mark which he had so wonderfully placed on Yoshikis collarbone - just deep enough that the blond hair wouldn’t be able to cover it. „Maybe I just want to prevent you taking off your shirt the next few days?“ Yoshiki couldn’t help but laugh, before shaking his head slowly. „We’re recording right now…Why should I…Ah!“ He was cut off by another bite - this time into his left nipple and before he could even gather words again, Gackt carefully started sucking, letting all thoughts slide far far away and a moan escaping his lips - whatever. He didn’t need to understand - not that he would be able to right now - all he was able to was to enjoy as Gackt started kissing his way over his body, biting him here and there, making him moan even more. At least this time nobody would be able to disturb him and with a low growl he grabbed Gackts hair, forcing him to look up again before pulling the vocalist into another demanding kiss. „Maybe next time I should bring handcuffs…“ Gackt smiled, but his eyes did not after they broke the kiss and Yoshiki couldn’t help but pout - now that really sounded unfair and the next moment he gasped, as the vocalist closed a hand around his throat, making it completely impossible to breath. „Now, now, princess. You would like that, don’t try to deny it when your body betrays you so beautifully…“ He would have tried to protest nevertheless hadn’t Gackt grabbed his cock in that moment forcing a choked moan from his lips. This damn bastard. „See? You like it rough, beautiful, no need to deny it.“ And with that said, the hand around his throat was gone and he tried to gain his breath again, cursing Gackt in his thoughts because as soon as he had tried to say something, two fingers were pushed into his mouth and the vocalist started stroking his head. „Be a good boy, yes?“ And reluctantly he started sucking - carefully nibbling the skin as well before licking over it then sucking again - usually they spent more time playing but right now he wouldn’t have it another way because his patience had disappeared the moment Gackt had bitten him. Letting go of the other ones fingers he had barely time to take a deep breath before he was kissed again, his legs spread rather harshly apart before one finger entered his body, soon followed by the second one,  their kiss swallowing his moans.  Even as he tried to protest, Gackt started moving his fingers and it didn’t took him long to find Yoshikis sweet spot, making the drummer moan even louder. Thankfully Gackt seemed too impatient to tease him any longer breaking the kiss and pulling back his fingers at the same time, watching with a smirk how Yoshiki tried to catch his breath again. „Your stamina seems pretty low, dear…We really need to have more sex, don’t we?“ At least the vocalist reached for the lube from his nightstand to coat his erection completely with it - missing the gleam in Yoshikis eyes as he entered his body with one almost forceful thrust, nearly screaming when he felt the others fingernails scratch down his back hard enough to leave bruises.


Gackt hissed in pain as Yoshiki tried to repeat the movement, the next moment the drummer found his wrists pinned down above his head, trying to struggle but soon giving in as the grip only tightened - it was obvious that he had no chance to free himself again and he shuddered a little - damn. „Listen, princess. You better watch your actions or you’ll face consequences - you get me?“ Yoshiki was close to speak up but as the grip around his wrists tightened so much that it became painful - all he could manage was an agonized cry and a nod, breathing in in relief as the other let go again. Fuck. Maybe he really shouldn’t try to mess with Gackt anymore tonight…A hard thrust confirmed his thoughts but he moaned nevertheless - it still felt good and it had been months since they had been able to have sex, so yes, he enjoyed everything - besides the pain was nothing he wasn’t used to and he enjoyed every sting, every twitch of his body - probably more than it was good for him. „Camui~“ Yoshiki almost purred while trying to move against the vocalist before a hard thrust made him moan again - damn it. „You know it would be a shame to leave you like this, especially when you feel so damn good right now…“ And with that said they were turning and Yoshiki could only blink, before letting his head fall back with a low moan because Gackt had managed to strife his prostate just enough to give him a taste of what could be. „Ride me, beautiful and I won’t punish you.“ This time it was more than obvious that it was a threat instead of a warning - even Gackt was smiling at him - in a way that made his heart flutter in his chest and reminded him why he had allowed the other one to come close to him in the first place…Instead of an answer, Yoshiki started rolling his hips, finally earning a moan from the other one as well before he started moving on top of him - scratching Gackts chest slightly from time to time, but not as hard as he had done with his back - he really didn’t want to get punished tonight and so he did his best, trying to guide the other one straight to his prostate and crying out when he had finally managed to find the perfect position. The next moment he really screamed because Gackt had started moving on his own - finally - grabbing his hips hard enough to leave bruises and thrusting hard enough that Yoshiki was sure he would still be sore tomorrow. The pace didn’t slow down anymore and he tried his best to adjust, so soon they were moving in perfect unison, Yoshiki moaning louder every time Gackt hit his prostate what finally turned into a cry of pure ecstasy as his orgasm overcame him like a wave at the change of the tide. Gackt followed him over the edge almost immediately, carefully holding him as he collapsed, trying to catch his breathe again. Fuck. With a low hum the vocalist slowly started to caress his back, stroking some sweaty strands of hair out of his eyes with the other hand and Yoshiki let out a low, content purr, yawning. At least he felt better now - relaxed at last. „I love you.“ The drummer slowly looked up, until their eyes met and he couldn’t help but smile. „I love you too - but the next time you show up at my door uninvited - I swear, I’ll just punch you in the face.“