A/N: Happy New Years everyone
I was totally working on separate projects to this, but Young Justice being resurrected not once but twice on me caused this story, which will probably be updated at random (read: whenever the show or whenever I get a new issue)
Warnings: My dislike for the SuperMartian pairing is voiced by Tim, Bart, and Cassie. I used to like it to but Season 2 made it disgusting to me.
Also, Conner and M'gann seriously remind me of Willow and Tara
Young Justice Outsiders I
Conner, Cassie, Bart, and Tim all stared at the television screen, just having finished the latest episode of Young Justice: Outsiders. Or, technically, gazing into an alternate universe. Because, what better thing to do with a machine capable of looking at alternate realities than to watch a show about yourselves?
Or, a show that was supposed to be about them, based on the title. Superboy had been smug that, out of the four of them, he'd been the only one to show up in Season 1.
He'd gotten beaten for it, but totally worth it.
Now, however, someone else was being smacked around do to the actions of their onscreen counterpart.
Cassie hit Tim's arm. The boy winced, backing away and shooting the girl a wounded look. Sure, Cassie had held back, but still. That girl had super strength.
"Owe! What was that for?" Tim cried.
"You left without saying anything to me? At all! Just waltzed right off!" Cassie exclaimed, tossing her hands up in annoyance.
Okay, Tim could see her point. His alternate self had just ditched his girlfriend without another word, but… Batman! Going against Batman was like trying to go against nature. Like trying to go against an oncoming storm. It just isn't done!
On the other hand, when Tim's Batman had told this Tim to turn on his friends back when they had first become the Teen Titans, Tim had responded by decking him in the face.
"Yeah, dude. Totally not crash." Bart commented.
The other three stared in horror.
"Never say that again." Conner told him.
Bart sniffed. "I happen to like it," Bart informed them, and their horror only grew. "Crash, crash, crash, totally crash!" Bart bellowed, running about the room rapidly and bouncing off walls.
Tim turned to Conner.
"Kon, control your child."
"What? My child? If anything, he's your child! You're the mature, dark and broody one!"
"I don't have the ability to think Bart still." Tim pointed out.
"No," Conner conceded, "but you've probably thought of a half dozen ways to do that without powers, and don't even bother denying it!" Conner raised a finger, silencing the other teen when Tim's jaw dropped in offense. "I know you aren't anywhere near as paranoid as daddy bats, so you don't have a file of contingency plans stashed away somewhere, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a genius in ever sense of the word so you've probably thought of at least 3 different ways to get Bart to sit down since I started this rant."
Tim had come up with seven different ways, actually, but Kon did not need to know that.
Cassie rolled her eyes. Boys. Useless.
"Bart! If you sit down and stop screaming, I'll take you to the Harry Potter Park in Orlando." Cassie bargained.
Bart stopped so suddenly that the air in the room almost caused a mini twister as his eyes locked onto Cassie expectantly.
Cassie, in turn, turned towards Tim.
"Tim, you're taking us to Orlando." Cassie informed him.
"Wha- when did I agree to this?"
"You're loaded." Cassie shamelessly used him. "And the dad of the group. You're suppose to baby us."
"Did… Did you just call me your sugar daddy?"
"Anyways," Conner interrupted, trying to avoid the literal shit storm that would hit if he let these two keep arguing back and forth, "in other news, I am getting married!" Conner announced, not sure how to feel about it but happy regardless.
To Miss Martian. Huh. That was a weird pill to swallow, he'd admit. A very weird pill to swallow, but meh.
Tim, Cassie, and Bart exchanged looks. Conner squirmed slightly, waiting for their reaction. Finally, Tim spoke, although they weren't the words Conner wa expecting by a long shot.
"What is it with you and older woman?" the boy wonder demanded.
"Wha- I do not have a thing for older women!" Conner denied.
More looks were exchanged. Looks that told Conner that they had talked about this before. That they had talked about this before behind his back and had done it enough times that all it took was a look for them to remember it.
The three looked at him again.
"Tana Moon." Tim said.
"Knockout." Cassie reminded.
"Poison Ivy." Bart continued.
"That one chick… Er. What was her. Name? Beat you within an inch of your life before revealing she was on your side the entire time?"
"The one that ran off with the Ravagers?" Cassie asked.
"Yeah, her!" Tim nodded.
"Doesn't matter, stop, stop, stop." Bart shook his head. Ah. Right. Bart didn't like to think of the New 52. Or, rather, he didn't like to think that he'd been erased and someone else had run around wearing his name for several months without anyone realizing Bart had been swapped out.
In their defense, practically everyone had been swapped out, to the point that Superman was off sleeping with Wonder Woman and wouldn't even bother giving Lois Lane a second glance, which was still really weird to think about.
Conner spluttered. Then, jabbing an accusing finger at Bart(and choosing to ignore the other two examples, because seriously, low blow), Conner went off. "Hey! Ivy does not count! She had me under her evil mojo!"
"She half had you under her mojo." Tim corrected. "She had convince you that she was just doing renovations to Hawaii and couldn't even hint at trying to kill someone because you'd have turned on her."
Conner crossed his arms, huffed, and looked away. "We were just making Hawaii greener, okay? What's wrong with spreading plant life?"
"Stop pouting." Tim admonished. Conner did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at him. "Other than Cassie, every girl you end up with is, like, ten times your age."
Conner narrowed his eyes.
"Okay, look, just 'cause I was born fully grown does not make me two! I don't see you calling Bart three!" Conner pointed out, reminding them all that despite looking like a teenager, chronologically speaking, Bart was actually younger than Conner.
"Bart hasn't gotten together with anyone and he is an innocent child!" Tim declared.
Bart turned the color of fresh tomatoes.
"Ah hehe. About that?" Bart laughed, scratching the back of his head and for once looking sheepish and abash.
Tim's jaw dropped.
"No. Nooo, nooo, no. Who took my sweet child's innocence!" Tim snapped to his feet and began to pace back and forth, muttering again and again about how someone was totally going to pay for this and how he was going to take it out on one of the Flashes.
"Age has nothing to do with my like in girls!" Conner decided to have mercy on Bart despite Bart being a little shit and redirected the attention back to himself. Bart looked grateful. He better be, little brat.
Tim turned to look at him.
"Girls? Conner, you're not into girls. Your into grown ass woman who, more often than not, can beat your ass and put you in place."
To emphasize the point, Cassie summoned her whip and snapped it a bit. Conner whimpered. Too late did he realize that he'd made the sound out loud instead of internal like he usually did.
The four froze.
So, of course, the first one to process it a thousand different ways then come to a conclusion was Bart. And, of course, Bart had no goddamn filter so the words slipped through his mouth like water running down a mountain.
"Ah ha! He likes being dominated. That's it!" Bart smashed a fist into his open palm.
Conner shot him a look of pure betrayal.
"Bart, my bro, how could you? I saved you from the wrath of papa bear Timberlina, and this is how you repay me?"
Tim and Cassie exchanged looks.
"It makes sense." Cassie shrugged. "I can pin him down if I try hard enough. Knockout could pin him down easily, and did so on a regular basis."
"Hey! I like girls my age too!" Conner denied. "I liked Roxy!" Conner decided to point out. Ha! He had them there.
Tim's face scrunched.
"Didn't you make out with her once before the pair of you decided it was way too weird because it felt like you were making out with your sister?" Tim recalled.
Conner huffed again.
"I see all of you are against me instead of being happy that I'm tying the knot."
The other three exchanged more looks. Oh, great. Conner sensed a conspiracy, aspired against him.
"The thing is," Tim began.
"Age thing aside, since Miss Martian is technically almost 50," Cassie continued.
"Even if that is teen by Martian standards," Bart said.
"We don't think this is a healthy relationship for you." Tim informed his best friend.
"What do you mean you don't think it's a 'healthy relationship'!" Conner repeated mockingingly. He was happy, in love, and lived in a mini mansion with his hot, shapeshifting fiance. What was there not to like?
Okay, for that Conner anyways. Conner himself hadn't spoken to Miss Martian much other than to yell at her that one time she went along with one of Tim's more asinine plans.
"Dude, she mraped you." Bart reminded.
"What? I was never raped!" Conner denied.
"Not rape, mrape." Tim corrected. At Conner's confused look, he continued. "Her response to you getting some independence and disagreeing with her on something was to rip her way into your head while you were sleeping to rewrite your brain. Dude, that's all sorts of levels of fucked up, and I semi get along with Ra's al Ghul."
"She stopped when I caught her and didn't force the issue!" Conner defended.
"And that makes it right?" Cassie sounded disgusted. "M'gann knows you hate having your mind played with in anyway considering you were created to be a mind controlled weapon, and yet she does it anyways! That's not the action of someone who loves you! That's not the action of someone who even remotely cares about you!"
Conner was starting to get pissed off.
"Look, she changed and I forgave her, alright?"
"No, you started feeling guilty and blamed yourself for her actions when they finally caught up with her." Tim tore into him mercilessly.
"I gave up on her too quick!" Conner shouted.
"Just because you're in a relationship with someone does not mean you have to be their moral compass. M'gann isn't a kid, she's responsible for her own actions and she totally Willow'ed you and I'm surprised she didn't go full out Darth Rosenberg on everyone else." Bart decided to interject.
Conner grit his teeth.
"Okay, look, I'll admit me and M'gann don't have the most stable relationship," he conceded. "But I love her and she loves me and she stopped doing the whole mrape thing, so can't you just be happy for me?"
Tim suddenly stood.
"Well, guys, I'm off to Ra's. I know he's evil and twisted and wrong, but he just gets me and wants me when no one else does and I think I can change him for the better even though his whole master plan is to turn me into his successor since Damian apparently doesn't fit the bill."
Conner face palmed.
"And I'm going to go run off with Ares. I know my brother is the god of war and has been killing for centuries, but who knows, maybe I'll make him see the light, even though world peace would literally kill him." Cassie added.
"I should probably go find Inertia." Bart said thoughtfully. "I mean, I know he's my evil clone and I know he literally killed me that one time, but it's not right for me to turn on him and abandon him to the darkness that he has literally always embraced."
"Those are not the same thing! At all!"
Because they weren't. Yes, M'gann had done something wrong and awful and cruel, but she hadn't gone full blown supervillain!
"No, I'll admit, those are extreme examples." Tim conceded, "but it's the same basic thought process, Kon. She did something wrong and you're blaming yourself instead of blaming her. She's responsible for her own actions, not you."
Okay, Conner could see the point, even if he didn't like it. Then, he came to another realization.
"Why are we even arguing about this? That's an alternate version of me getting married to an alternate version of Miss Martian!" Conner pointed out.
Oh. Right. They'd… Totally forgot that.
"Anyways… Other than Momma Kon tying the knot, you now have a child!" Bart decided to change the subject.
Conner was confused. He wasn't the only one. Bart rolled his eyes.
"Brion? GeoForce, anyone?"
"What? How is he my child?" Conner gaped, wondering what hoops Bart had jumped through this time to come to that particular conclusion.
To his horror, Tim and Cassie nodded their assent.
"He's totally going to end up adopting the kid." Tim said.
"Conner would. He's such a team mom." Cassie agreed.
"See! I'm not the only one who sees it!" Bart boasted. "You have a thing for mentally damaged boys, and you know it!"
Conner was confused. Tim was not.
"Owe!" Bart cried as Tim smacked him upside the head.
"I am not mentally damaged!" Tim denied. "Emotionally, yes, I'll admit, but not mentally! I'm not crazy!" Tim snapped, looking pissed.
Ah hell, Bart just had to open up that can of worms again, didn't he?
Conner put a hand on Tim's shoulder and squeezed. Tim visibly relaxed as Conner cocooned the other in his TTK.
"No, you aren't. You're a bloody genius, and you aren't crazy in the slightest and anyone who thinks so just can't see your utter brilliance." Conner assured him. "Bart's just a moron." Conner said with a pointed look at said Speedster who, at the least, did look a be apologetic.
"I totally did." Bart agreed, nodding. "I meant to say emotionally. Like, that's totally your weakness." Bart continued on with a pointed look at Tim.
"When I adopt the rest of the Batclan, then you can say that." Conner said sarcastically. Unfortunately, he didn't say it sarcastically enough because Tim somehow didn't catch the memo.
"You're going to adopt my brothers?" Tim pulled back, looking offended. Of what, Conner wasn't sure but he needed to figure it out, fast, because Tim was rapidly becoming as red as his suit.
"I-" Conner began, unsure how to even respond to that one.
"He already adopted Dick in that universe. Did you see the two of them team up to take out SuperBat? Epic." Bart just couldn't help himself, could he?
Tim began to mutter a mile a minute under his breath, eyes darkening the same way they did whenever someone made the fatal mistake of denying Tim his coffee in the morning. Even the demon brat Jon liked to hang out with didn't dare do that… Anymore.
Conner didn't catch all of it, because he was mentally trying not to listen, but he could have sworn he caught the words 'mine' and 'Nightwing is so dead' and 'how do I make it look like an accident, does WikiAnswers know?'
That couldn't be right, though, so Conner came to the conclusion that he was obviously imagining things.
Cassie turned to glare at Bart.
"Look what you've begun. Are you proud of yourself?"
Bart nodded happily. Cassie face palmed.
Conner rolled his eyes.
"GeoForce aside, I'm more concerned about how Gar is going to respond to Terra when she eventually shows her face." Conner changed the subject which gratefully knocked Tim out of his own funk. Instead of Tim locked in thought, Conner now was as he pondered how to protect Gar because, seriously, Terra in any reality always left Gar reeling and fucked up.
More smirks were exchanged. Conspiracy confirmed.
"Oh, shut up!" Conner growled.
"Mamabear Kon wants to protect Gar! Isn't he precious?" Tim cooed and Conner shuddered. Tim should not be allowed to coo. Conner wasn't sure if it was adorable, terrifying, or an alarming mixture of both. Probably both.
"Gar needs to be protected from evil thots." Conner declared.
Cassie opened her mouth before closing it. "Okay, normally I'd smack you for that one, but Terra did try to seduce Slade."
"Slade used her sexual attraction to him to manipulate her, though." Bart pointed out in defense of the rogue Titan. Bart didn't much like Slade. Getting your kneecaps shot tended to reduce your like of someone.
"Dick says he's not that bad. And, in a really bizarre twist, Slade and Gar bonded over Terra's death." Tim reminded them.
"... That is all levels of fucked." Conner said. He heard no disagreements. "Okay, let's stop discussing potential psychopaths. I'm just keeping her the hell away from Gar, even if it somehow turns out that she is sane in that reality. Better safe than sorry." Conner said.
Tim shot him a look of pure innocence. Conner instantly grew weary. Tim didn't do innocence. This had to be a trap.
"But, Kon, if GeoForce is your son, then Terra has to be your daughter. You wouldn't be cruel to your daughter, would you?" Tim asked, voice dipped in false sweetness and what sounded like genuine confusion.
"Brion is not my kid!" Conner denied.
"I wonder when Wally will come back." Bart said randomly, pivoting on his feet, cupping his chin in hand, deep in thought.
"Er. Bart. You do realize Wally is…" Conner wasn't sure how to put this.
"Speedsters don't die." Bart dismissed. "We become one with the Speed Force, and can theoretically exit it if given the chance- like I did!" Bart explained.
"... You're making Speedsters sound like Jedi with extra steps." Tim could not help but compare.
"Psh." Bart blew a lock of hair out of his face. "Jedi have nothing on Speedsters." Bart said dismissively.
"You take that back! Blasphemy!"
"Star Trek was better." Bart dug the needle in harder.
Tim could be forgiven for tackling the other boy. Some things just deserve punishment.
"Anyways," Cassie said dismissively as Tim managed to pin Bart down in a rather complicated looking hold, "Dick and Barbara are totally dating."
Tim looked up from his perch on Bart's back.
"Totally. Those two are soulmates." Tim declared without an ounce of hesitation.
"Didn't you date her on- Owe!" Bart cried out as Tim decided to pinch a particular nerve point.
"We don't speak of the Arkham Asylum verse, Bart. We especially do not speak of creepy alternate me hooking up with alternate Babs because that is all levels of wrong." Tim told the squirming Speedster.
"Tim, stop abusing your son." Cassie admonished.
"I thought Bart was my kid?" Conner said without thinking. The other three shot him smug looks which, frankly, made Conner wonder why he was still friends with such trolls.
"You have joint custody." Cassie informed him.
Joint- was she serious? Even if she wasn't, Bart apparently was because in seconds he was crying out to Conner.
"Mom! Help! Dad is repressing my opinions!" Bart pleaded.
"It's a parents job to instruct you in what's right and what's wrong." Tim shrugged, completely unapologetic.
Conner sighed. Tim didn't even make a sound as the TTK caught a hold of him, floating him right off Bart. Bart, of course, response to this by jumping to his feet with a cheer, fists pumping in the air.
Tim shot Conner a look that promised retribution. Conner whimpered.
Bart froze mid run.
A crap. He'd done that out loud again, hadn't he?
"So," Conner attempted to distract, turning to Cassie, "Dick and Babs?"
Cassie shot him a suspicious look, but, proving that she was the utter best, she totally went with it.
"Yes! And they're totally keeping it on the D.L., otherwise Dick would have said something to Artemis about Barbara being their girl in the chair." Cassie theorized.
"Why would they hide it, though?" Conner asked, confused. He didn't get it. "Dick loves Barbara and Barbara loves him. Why hide it?"
To this, Bart responding by looking so rapidly back and forth between Conner and Tim that Conner was genuinely surprised he wasn't getting whiplash. Conner blinked. Um. Okay?
"Good point, Bart." Cassie conceded, much to the confusion of the other two in the room.
Conner didn't get it. Eh. Maybe Tim would. Tim was smart. Conner turned to Tim to ask him just that.
"For once, I'm just as clueless as you are." Tim admitted before Conner could even open his mouth.
"Ah." Conner said. Hey. Wait a second… "What do you mean, like I usually am?" Conner repeated, offended.
"Knockout literally convinced you that she was a good guy and that every other person you knew was turning against you, and she technically did it through the power of omission." Tim reminded him.
"Knockout was an evil genius who managed to outwit Granny Goodness and escaped Apokalypse." Conner said.
"Speaking of Apokalypse," Bart said, "have you guys seen the episode titles for Season 3?"
The other three looked at him oddly.
"Er… No. Do they matter?" Conner asked.
"Duh!" Bart looked at him as if he was an idiot. "If you take the first letter of each episode out, it spells a message." Bart revealed before flashing away. Half a second later, he reappeared with paper and a pen. Tongue sticking out of his mouth, Bart wrote.
The other three watched… And paled.
"Prepare the Anti-Life Equation." Tim read.
The four exchanged looks.
"... They're totally fucked."
A/N: So, now that I've finished this I'm off to watch the new episodes. Enjoy :p
Warnings: insert River Song one word catchphrase here
S03E4 - S03E6
Absolutely no one was surprised when Dick not only made out with Babs, but also when he ran off and recruited not one, but all three Harpers.
"Nightwing has redhead fever." Conner commented.
"Okay, so he has a type. I don't see why you're judging him when you're obviously the same." Tim defended his brother, "Your type is people who can pin you down and make you helpless. Dick's type are redheads, which reminds me of that one time he actually tried hitting on Batwoman before he figured out she was a lesbian."
"... Would you people stop insinuating I like to be dominated?" Conner snapped.
Bart turned to Cassie.
"Did he ever ask you to tie him up?" The filterless wonder asked.
Conner turned red.
"I did not!" Conner denied. Loudly.
Bart and Tim ignored him. Instead, they both looked to Cassie expectantly. Cassie seemed contemplative, of all things. Conner twitched.
"I don't kiss and tell." Cassie finally said with a shrug.
Conner groaned. Pulling at Cassie's shoulder, he furiously hissed in her ear.
"Really? Really, Cassie? Now they're going to think you actually tied me up!"
Cassie pulled away with a laugh, proving herself to be a being of utmost evil. Smiling slyly, she looked away.
"Dick really misses Wally." Bart commented.
They all froze at that. Nightwing's obsession with redheads aside, calling Will 'Wall' told them more about his mental state than anything else.
Conner turned towards Tim, unsure of how to phrase it. "You don't think Dick is going to… You know… The thing?" Conner said awkwardly.
Tim arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah. That one thing. The thing thing." Conner said.
If anything, the eyebrows rose higher.
"He's trying to subtly ask if Nightwing is going to try and resurrect Wally through the power of cloning like you tried to resurrect Conner." Bart explained.
Tim flinched. Conner instantly regretted the question. Tim had tried to bring him back. Repeatedly and obsessively, even after Raven had told him it was impossible because Conner's soul had moved on.
Joke was on her because Conner came back regardless, but details.
"Dick… Dick isn't like me. He won't try that. At least, I hope he doesn't try it." Tim said, squirming slightly in his seat.
The sight of Red Robin visibly uncomfortable was not one Conner was familiar with and, frankly, something he was ashamed to have triggered.
"Is there anyway to get Fate to let Zatanna's dad go?" Conner decided that the best course of action would be to change the subject.
Yes. Subtle. So, so subtle.
Cassie's eyes narrowed.
"If Nabu won't release him, I'll beat him. Personally."
"Wouldn't you also be beating the guy under the mask, though?"
"True. But, hey, it might work. Eventually."
Conner was smug.
The other three were… Surprised to say the least.
"HA! My fiancé isn't a total bitch, like you three keep insinuating, and she's totally getting better!" Conner boasted after they witnessed M'gann put her arguably insane little brother in place for trying to trigger a war on New Genesis.
Tim's jaw clicked shut.
"Okay, I'll admit, she's getting better," Tim conceded, "but that doesn't change the past abusive behavior that you not only refuse to acknowledge properly, but also blame yourself for." Tim psychoanalyzed.
"I loved her before she did it, and it's not like love just goes away, which you guys don't seem to be getting. Love doesn't work on conditions. It just is."
Tim flinched. Conner frowned, confused.
"Conner, sweetie, I still love you, but I no longer want to jump your bones. There's a difference." Cassie pointed out.
"Meaning, there's a difference between still loving someone and knowing where to set the boundaries." Cassie pointed out. "We didn't work out, and we accepted that and moved on. You and M'gann, though? You're clinging to something that can never be the same again. Something that shouldn't be the same again, because betrayal like that is the worst kind. And, she topped it off by rubbing her new relationship in your face." Cassie concluded.
Conner rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. Season 2 M'gann was a bitch, blah blah."
"Season 3 M'gann tries to make you feel guilty when you have other things to do other than spend time with her." Bart said.
Conner frowned again.
"She does not." Conner denied.
"This is totally gonna blow up in your face. Calling it now."
"Three for three."
Conner grumbled, turning away with crossed arms and a pout. Hm. Maybe he should try that static trick his tv counterpart did. At least he'd be able to drown out their stupidity.
"And Terra's there crushing people with DC's Spider-Man rip off." Bart concluded as the boulder smashed the fleeing mark.
Conner narrowed his eyes.
"She isn't going anywhere near Gar. He is literally my counterpart's brother in law, she goes anywhere near him and I'll take her apart." Conner promised.
"... Your daughter is going to go after your brother in law." Bart stage whispered.
Conner tossed a pillow at him.
Tim stood, staring wide eyed at the screen.
"Jason! That was Jason! They- Ra's." Tim hissed out, eyes narrowing. Then, the teenager began to pace up and down before their eyes. "Obviously, Jason doesn't remember things properly, but seeing Dick triggered some memory. And demon brat is a baby so I won't have to fend of assassination attempts. As Ra's is definitely up to something because that bastard is always up to something because he's an evil convoluted piece of shit and we need to get Jason away from him before Ra's damages him too much and oh god Dick is gonna kill himself when he realizes he was fighting his little brother and he didn't notice and-"
Tim froze, head snapping up. Conner had teleported and was now standing right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and keeping him still. Tim hadn't even realized he'd stopped moving, too locked in his mutters to notice anything else.
"We'll find Jason, and we'll save him. Or, they will, technically." Conner jerked his head in the direction of the tv.
"Ri- right." Tim mumbled. Then, he groaned. "Hell, Jason literally just stopped trying to kill me every other day. My poor counterpart."
"Wait, does this mean Slade took over the League of Shadows?" Cassie asked. All eyes turned to her, eyebrows raised. "What?" Cassie defended. "Who else but Deathstroke the Terminator could wrench control of the League of Shadows from Ra's al Ghul?"
"Does this mean I'm getting my knee shot out? Again? Seriously?"
A/N: Sooo we get four episodes now? DC Spoils us
Tim really does steal Conner's shirts. It's his hobby.
Comic wise, I'm still in Countdown, which, sadly, DC Universe does not have. I got a week long trial, but I honestly think I'll cancel it.
Anyways, chapter done sooo… I'm gonna go watch the episodes now. Hm. I should really start finishing these before the next batch comes out.
Tim, arms crossed and frowning, shot Conner an unimpressed look.
Conner wasn't sure exactly what he'd done to deserve it.
"Conner Kon-El Kent, control your children!" Tim snapped.
Tim narrowed his eyes. "Your eldest child attacked my brother's ass with a towel and your youngest blasted your shirt off with lava then proceeded to check you out." Tim claimed before frowning. "Hm. Okay. Brion is no longer your kid, but, if he is, he gets his incestus tendencies from you."
"Incestus tendencies? The hell?" Conner repeated, offended.
Cassie and Bart exchanged looks.
"Supergirl." They both said in unison, backing Tim.
"Okay, look. I had the hots for a couple of the Supergirls, I'll admit. BUT!" Conner lifted a finger as the other three looked victorious, "Matrix wasn't related to me or Supes in any way, and neither was Linda Danvers!" Conner reminded them.
"You had a thing for Power Girl." Tim countered.
"He has a thing for woman that can dominate him." Cassie helpfully added.
"I hate all of you." Conner whined.
"I like how Dick had a shirt ready for you though, C.K." Bart snickered.
"Conner does have a ridiculous habit of losing shirts." Tim agreed.
"You mean you steal them, wonder brat." Conner accused.
Tim whistled innocently and adamantly avoided meeting anyone's eyes for the next several minutes.
Conner and Tim exchanged looks.
"Batman would win." Both said in unison.
Cassie was surprised.
"You aren't going to even think of backing Superman, Conner?" She said incredulously.
"Cassie, Batman and Superman have clashed multiple times in a dozen different realities, and Batman usually comes out on top." Conner told her. "Besides, I like Bats more than Supes."
"You do?" Bart said, eyebrows raised.
"Batman's never treated me any different. Although, he did refer to me as 'the Clone', like twice I think?" Conner scratched the back of his head. "Me and Supes, though? Like, I can never tell where I stand with him and it's weird and he literally pawned me off to his parents so I honestly don't know what to think of him half the time."
"So, are we all gonna ignore the part where Vandal and Darkseid have literally been working together for thousands of years and Nabu is actually Savage's kid?" Bart looked around.
Tim was stuffing his face with popcorn.
"Nope. Not touching that with a ten foot pole. Nope, nope."
Conner feigned deafness.
Cassie just shrugged, not bothering with the theatrics.
"Why is your brother so dramatic?" Conner asked.
"He was raised by the Batman." Tim said in all honesty.
Bart was still snorting about 'hot lava' over and over again.
"Conner, your son is as arrogant as you are in the looks department." Cassie told her ex.
To this, Conner shrugged and began to flex.
"Hey, you got it, you flaunt it."
"... I'm not sure if I hate Savage for that one or not." Tim admitted as they watched the man execute his own daughter. At the incredulous looks he got, Tim felt the need to defend himself. "What! She was clearly losing it, like it or not. Hell, I'm surprised Savage isn't losing it. The human mind isn't made to last that long."
Conner looked uncomfortable.
"I still don't like the idea. I mean, I… Still don't know if I can age properly. I was age locked at 16 for years."
Tim blanched. The idea of Conner staying young forever while the rest of them withered with age and dementia was downright horrifying.
"You and Livewire would get along." Bart told Conner bluntly.
"You all make me sound like some kind of deviant." Conner rolled his eyes.
"Well, there was that one time at Hiro's place that I caught you in the tu-" Tim began.
Conner leapt halfway across the run, landed on top of the other teen, and covered his mouth while glaring furiously.
"Dude. No. Mention that, and Cassie, Starfire, and Supergirl will murder me!" Conner hissed.
Cassie's wip cracked, lightning hissing from it. Conner froze.
"Oh, now I'm interested, Superboy."
"Er… Play the video!" Conner yelled.
Bart, deciding to have mercy, did just that.
Smug looks were shot at Conner as his absence was explained as M'gann demanding more of his time.
"Oh shut up. I'm sure there's an important reason for it."
Tim bit his lip. As much as he hated to admit it… Something did seem off. And, surprisingly, it was not the Supermartian front. Hm.
"This is no longer a kids show." Bart whistled.
"What clued you in? The incessant blood, the sex, the stripper names?" Cassie asked.
"Black lightning." Bart shrugged.
"We should get Cheshire something nice." Conner frowned at the screen.
"Team mom." Cassie singed.
"Just cause I have a heart does not- okay, you know what, fuck it. I'm the mom." Conner declared.
The other three cheered.
"Finally! You're accepting reality!" Tim clapped.
Poor, poor child. He had no idea what he'd unleashed.
"First order of business: You're eating three squared meals a day, can't use coffee as a supplement, and I will personally TTK you to the bed all night long until you get a solid ten hours of sleep minimum."
Tim's jaw dropped.
"Wha- you cannot be serious Kon!"
"Did I stutter?" The Kryptonian asked theoretically.
"I have work! I refuse!" Tim told him bluntly. "And besides, coffee is a perfect meal! It's got all the things you need! Caffeine, sugar, ener-"
Conner raised a finger to his lips, silencing him. Tim froze.
"Shh. Just let me take care of you for once, sheesh."
Tim turned red again.
"Cissie!" All four friends cheered.
"I miss her. Like, so, so much." Bart said.
"If you miss her, why don't you come visit her?"
Bart honestly looked like he hadn't thought of it. Cassie huffed.
"I stay away because I know I'd try to get her back into heroing and i have a little shame in admitting it but its the truth." Conner confessed.
"My life is crazy. Period." Tim said, though he did regret not having spoken to Cissie in so long. And Anita. And Greta. And half a dozen other people he'd lost touch with over the years.
Cassie could not believe what she'd just witnessed. Groaning in embarrassment, she hid her face from the others.
"Did Wonder Woman really ask Tim with a straight face if he was okay with lying?" Bart was literally rolling on the floor.
"Oh god! And I thought she was the smart one!" Conner was laughing so hard a few tears were escaping his eyelids.
"I do not lie that much!" Tim huffed.
Conner shot him an incredulous look.
"Dude. Tim. My man. You can lie to Batman." Conner reminded. "Hell, you can lie to me and I can literally focus in on your heartbeat from the other side of the planet." Conner continued.
Bart shot up.
"You can? Since when?"
Conner decided to not dignify that one with an answer.
"Hey, its Lobo!" Bart cheered.
Cassie and Conner both shot glared at Tim.
"You… You two still aren't over the time I called Lobo our strongest member, are you?"
The glares said it all.
"I KNEW THE VIDEO GAME GOGGLES WERE SUSPICIOUS!" Bart yelled before looking around. Literally no one looked surprised.
"Granny Goodness, at it again… Can I punch her? I really, really want to punch her." Cassie said.
"I'll set the trap, you pummel away," Tim told her.
"Oh, sweetie, there's a reason I love you best."
"I thought you loved me best?" Conner gripped his chest as if wounded.
"You've been replaced." Cassie said mercilessly, draping herself over Tim.
Conner pretended to gag. Bart literally did.
"I suppose we aren't commenting on Will/Artemis either?"
Bart was hit by at least a dozen pillows.
"Congrats on the little bro." Tim nudged Conner.
"As long as its Jon Samuel Kent and not Lane Kent, I'm good." Conner shrugged. "I, like, have literally been waiting years for this."
"Lane Kent wasn't that bad, was he?"
Conner shot him an incredulous look.
"Bart, my older brother literally wiped out every metahuman in existence in my own time then nearly killed everyone in our time with an army of mind wiped Superboys drawn out through time and space. He was psycho."
Tim decided not to comment that his future self had come back to kill Samuel Kent, not Lane Kent. Then again, considered how messed up the timelines were, his future self might very well have hit the wrong goddamn timeline by mistake.
"If the Light comes anywhere near my dad…" Bart crunched his knuckles, eyes narrowed. "I'll show them why I was able to contain the entire Speedforce in myself."
"I'll help." Conner told him.
"We'll all help." Tim added.
"And that," Tim told Conner and Cassie bluntly, "is why I said Lobo was our heavy hitter for those few months he was de aged and a member of Young Justice."
"The other me doesn't even have Telekinesis. Totally not a fair assessment."
"Lobo can go toe to toe with Superman. Not budging." Tim said unrepentantly.
A/N: *dodges projectiles*
Okay, yeah, yeah, this is realllly late, I know
I have no excuse :p
(Well, there is an explanation, but some of you may not like it. Meh)
Also, special thanks to hnh058513 who was kind enough to leave me summaries of the episodes in the review
As you guys can see, Conner now has a baby. Everyone reacting to the baby became its one one shot(I would have put it here, but I wanted to keep this story strictly them reacting to the episode, and Martha's arrival somehow became 3,000 words, sooo :p)
Warnings: A few comic spoilers sprinkled about. *Stares in Martha*
Conner had done it. He'd actually gone and done it, and, while none of the others had believed Conner, Tim knew better and he knew Kon was a stubborn, stubborn man. So of course, he'd brought it.
Or rather, brought her.
The proof stood before them. Or sat.
"Aw yes! Baby time!" Bart cooed. Of course, Bart already loved the baby. Conner looked smug. His daughter, the small little baby currently sitting on his lap, lit up when she saw Bart and actually reached for him.
Conner handed her over with good grace and Bart, for once in his life, did not go zooming off in every direction. Considering Kon was very likely to kill anyone who hurt his baby-
*Cough cough* that one time Conner flung Amanda Spence forever into the void of space because she'd hurt his kid and killed his girlfriend, *cough cough*
Bart was being extra careful. Not that Kon would kill any of them for harming the kid.
Maybe maim. Or injure.
"I can't believe you actually brought the baby," Cassie said, surprised.
"She's not getting out of my sight, nuh uh, and her mother agrees with me. By now, I'm sure Lex knows about her, and he is not getting anywhere near my baby." Conner's eyes glowed red.
Baby Martha cried at him and Conner instantly went back to simpering love struck daddy.
Leave it to Kon to disappear for half a decade only to come back with an adopted daughter. Hm. Maybe Kon was secretly part Wayne? Tim… Tim honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point, but he certainly hoped he wasn't related to Conner because gross.
"What is it with you bats and covert operations?" Conner asked as Batman and his team infiltrated Santa Prisca.
"What's it with you and disappearing for seven years before coming back with a baby?" Tim countered with a raised eyebrow.
"My baby is precious," Conner claimed.
"Your baby is a brat."
"I'm taking your godfather privileges away and granting them to Bart instead."
Bart did a fist pump.
Tim flicked popcorn at the Speedster.
"Cyborg!" Bart cheered as Victor appeared. Then, his expression froze. "Oh crap, human, perfectly normal Cyborg…"
The four exchanged looks.
Yeah, this… Could not end well. At all.
"You two don't even have sex on a bed like normal people?" Tim arched an eyebrow.
"I prefer to take my dates to cloud castles." Conner shrugged.
Cassie smacked him upside the head. Yelping, the teen of steel shot her a wounded look.
"What was that for?"
Cassie narrowed her eyes at him.
"We lost our virginity to one another in a barn next to the telescope Clark Kent had once used to spy creepily on Lana Lang." Cassie reminded him.
"I wasn't a- oh, yeah, I remember now." Conner laughed, scratching the back of his head.
"You weren't a virgin?" Bart recovered first, surprised. Tim alone didn't look surprised, more like resigned really, and Cassie looked as shocked as Bart.
"Psh," Conner looked at the Speedster incredulously. "Have you met Knockout? Okay, I know that was one of my stupider life choices,"
"She literally nicknamed you pup as a low key way of saying you were her bitch boy," Tim muttered.
Conner pretended he didn't hear that. He did, however, cover little Martha's ears, for all the effect it would have while they were discussing sex and virginity.
"But, that woman definitely educated me in more ways than just in combat." Conner wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
"That's statutory rape." Bart couldn't help but point out, sounding disgusted.
Conner raised a single finger before pausing. Ah hell, it was, wasn't it? Wait, did that make Tana statutory rape too? She'd been in her late twenties and Conner and Tana had been in a very committed relationship.
They probably still would be too if it wasn't for Conner's psychotic ex genetic sister. (And only ex genetic because Superboy-Prime punching the Reality Wall had rather randomly changed Conner's genetic structure because… No one knew, really, it just had)
Tim rolled his eyes.
"Bart, you and Conner are weird with ages. We can't put a specific number on either of you."
"He was age locked at 16!" Bart reminded, then frowned. "Wait, aren't you still agelocked at 16?"
Conner scratched the back of his head.
"I… Don't think so? I mean, I don't feel 16. I don't even know which version of me is running around anymore. I just know I'm no longer part Lane and am once more part Luthor," Conner replied.
"Hey, didn't you once challenge Lady Shiva to a one on one deathmatch?" Bart asked Tim as the woman herself showed up on screen.
"YOU DID WHAT?" Conner spun on Tim.
Tim glared daggers at Bart who eeped and hid behind Cassie.
"I was… In a bad place." Tim put eloquently. He wasn't sure what everyone was so worked up about. Tim had managed to poison Shiva before they'd even started the fight, so its not like he had been in any danger.
Conner stared at him for several seconds before spinning on Cassie.
"Wha- how is this my fault?" Cassie exclaimed.
"Me and Bart weren't there, and Nightwing isn't in the room for me to yell at him, so I'm pinning it on you," Conner shrugged.
Cassie snapped her rope, lightning zizziling from it.
"Just try it, Superboy."
"Geoforce needs to chill," Tim said.
"He's concerned about his sister, he has every right to be pissed at Nightwing withholding information," Conner stated.
"He's compromising the situation! He's letting his emotions get in the way!" Tim argued.
"We can't all be machines," Conner spoke then winced.
Tim didn't even flinch. Instead, he rolled his eyes. "Think before you talk, Kon. Someone else might have taken you seriously."
Conner responded by sticking his tongue out at him.
"Don't tempt me."
Bart edged closer to Cassie.
"If they start making out I'm taking the baby and scramming. You cover me."
"You aren't sacrificing me with them!"
"I have super hearing," Conner interrupted.
The two friends eeped.
"Tara is evil. I'm calling it now," Conner said as Deathstroke and Cassandra Savage discussed said girl.
"Bro, no one's gonna take you up on that particular bet," Bart stated bluntly.
Truer words had never been spoken.
"Batman is savage," Conner whistled as Batman tore Bane apart with words and fists.
No one messes with the bat.
"I think we need to call the police," Bart said, "because I think we just witnessed a murder."
The four friends exchanged looks.
"I say we track down our Jade and try and help her out a bit," Conner said. "No one should be separated from their kids." For emphasis, Conner hugged Martha, who was a surprisingly calm baby, especially considering who her adoptive father was.
"... Our Jade might not be like her counterpart," Tim reminded, somewhat reluctantly.
"We should at least try." Cassie pointed out.
"She's gonna shoot my knee, I guarantee it. They always go for the knees."
Tim, rather oddly, began to freak out when Green Lantern showed. The other three shot him confused looks.
"Hal's hair is turning white." Tim said, as if that should explain everything. Seeing their lost looks, Tim huffed. "Last time Hal Jordan's hair started going white, it was because a parasitic primordial deity composed of pure Fear was trapped inside him and was slowly awakening. And, when it finally took over, Hal literally blew up the entire Universe." Tim reminded them.
"Oh fuck, I'd forgotten that Zero Hour mess!" Conner exclaimed, wide eyed. Then, he eeped in horror as he glanced down at Martha. "Don't tell your mom I said that." Conner told the baby.
The baby gurgled.
He'd had to go toe to toe with another Superboy because of that incident. On the bright side, it wasn't the psychotic one.
Thatttt came later.
The four stared at Hal.
"... Maybe we're overthinking it?" Bart said hopefully.
Tim's eyebrow arched.
"Why add the detail of it wasn't important?"
"Timmy," Conner groaned, tossing his head back. "Stop psychoanalyzing every detail."
"At least I'm capable of proper thought processes." Tim countered.
Cassie joined Bart in backing away slowly.
None of them were surprised when the accident happened and Victor ended up half dead.
"He just doesn't get a break in any reality, does he?" Bart asked no one in particular.
"I know the feeling," Tim said.
Conner took his hand and squeezed.
The four winced as Violet, in excitement, claimed that everyone would have to like them because they knew the school counselor.
"That poor girl is going to be eaten alive," Bart, of all people, said.
"Your brother is an asshole and these secrets are going to end up blowing up in everyone's faces," Conner told Tim.
"You're in on it," Tim shot back.
Conner pointed an accusing finger at the other teen.
"You have no proof M'gann has told me anything. Hell, last season, the woman mind raped me into forgetting her shady shit."
Why his alternate self was even marrying someone who did that was beyond him. Forgiving was one thing, but marrying and agreeing to spend the rest of his life with her? Yeah… No.
"Do you really think she's doing that this season? I mean, she seems to have learned." Cassie interrupted.
"No, I don't," Conner admitted, "but lying and keeping other me in the dark? That, I can see that happening."
"Sooo… Violet is part Mother Box?" Bart tilted his head.
"As long as she isn't part Fatherbox, she can be whatever she wants to be," Conner replied.
"Why does every teenage superhero have daddy issues?" Tim asked, staring at Victor.
There was a long pregnant pause.
Bart, the only member of the group that didn't have latent daddy issues, whistled to himself happily.
Hi all! I've come to interrupt your reading pleasure because… Okay, I'm gonna be real with you all, I lost interest in this story pretty early on but kept updating since I had people asking me to.
Writing this makes watching the episodes feel like more of a chore since I'm left analyzing what to put in here and what to put in there and… Tbh, I don't want to.
So, I won't.
If anyone wants to adopt this story, you can do so with my blessing! Just please send me an alert, and I'll update this to tell everyone it's being continued elsewhere!
(Or ya'll can leave it. That may or may not have happened before. *Stares in Smallville: Redux*)
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this last bit I wrote up for you guys, and I hope you have a great day! :)