Work Header


Chapter Text


239ST(&*(sCY (*#&*@**GW239*EN((*^%^@&329

Read 8:48 PM


re#)ply?? @%#@Tes#$# P#$ter%^ please ((( )
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]
[[ERROR 404]]

come on I’ve met vending machines with better spam bots. whatever it is I’m not interested



M@iles i#%#@i, eply pl@$#$& @$#!you can! as (($% I figured o)*!&@&**///@#* interdimen*(@(($&@*}}{{O@||@#. @?>@#>**($ get this? Let m@@!!now
who is this
P$eni Pa#rk!!?r!! and SP//DR
Message received, I think??
Is this really you????
UNKNOWN was changed to PENI????
%%$You a##5re M@iles Morales
youI&&r sh$##lace is prob@$abl $# untied
Shut up
How are you doing this???
PENI???? was changed to PENI!!!! (Sparkles )
St@^ $need to test. Is th*(@is readable?
it’s better now. less gibberish
Are my texts getting through?
Keep talki@!!, the m)((#&*ore texts you send, the bett!@$er the p#@rogram ge@$@!ts
Are you@!{}”OK Miles?? I didn’t +@(||} back from the others. Yours @!%#s the first that worked
I'm ok!!
How are you? You made it back OK?
How’s SPDR??
Did you make another suit?
Yes I'm ok!
Spider is OK (Slightly Smiling Face )
Building a new mech
Were there any
Errors in those texts?
Nope. I got an emoji too?
I think that
I can send short texts
If they're long
There's data corruption
Sorry for
All the notifs
Peni this is amazing
Oh god
It's so late
I need to go to bed
But now im wide awake
I know
I just spent like 36hr
On just uploading data
From the portal
Now it's 2am
Okasan is po@#%unding on my door
Can’t she underst!@and
I JU(*&ST MADE SCIENCE!!! (*≧▽≦)
it's 2am where you are too??
Get some sleep!!
Back atcha
It's 1:49
I tried to link up the
Frequencies so
It'd be the same TOD
For everyone
Which day depends
On when everybody left
I think I accidentally
Sent Peter a msg before
he went thru the portal
He may have blckd me
Oh no
What about Gwen + others?
Mr Parker will be hardest
I messed up with Gwen's
Need to try again
Don't know where
To begin with Porker
Anyway just checking in
So glad this works!!!
And it didn’t blow up
Your phone!!!! (★^O^★)
Go to sleep now!!
You earned it!
(Sparkling Heart )
(Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit)


Hey kid, heard you’re working on an interdimensional communicator thingamajig. Need any help? (Pig Nose )
It's Ham btw (Pig Nose )
Ham??? It’s Peni! How did you do this?
Got an interesting visit from some kid name Miguel (Pig Nose )
Gave me one of those clever keyboards and said I should try this number (Pig Nose )
Tapped my heels 3 times, thought of Kansas, spun around, and voila (Pig Nose )
UNKNOWN was changed to Spiderham (Pig Face )
I'm tracking the data packets you're sending
This is crazy, I’ve been manually mapping each universe’s sequence code and aligning time frequency for weeks
And you just did it perfectly on the first try!!
So unfair!! (_ _|||)
Power of cartoons (Winking Face ) (Pig Nose )
I’m so glad to hear from you
I’ve been in touch with Miles but I’m still working on the others, I made some mistakes with the data radiation protection and I think I accidentally cooked Gwen’s phone
Send me the other numbers, I’ll give em a shout (Pig Nose )
Then I can send you their… whatever you need from me (Pig Nose )
We don’t really think about the hows too much in my neck of the woods, imagination is the limit here. Comes in handy (Slightly Smiling Face ) (Pig Nose )
Thank you Ham!!! ♡^▽^♡


Hey Gwendolina, it’s your favorite swine superhero
this isn’t funny rick
i told you all the ham comics are for research, i’m doing a social project on spiderman’s comic book influence in the 80s
Easy tiger, it's really me (Pig Nose ) (Spider )
prove it
You have shared a file
GWEN has downloaded your file
(Face With Stuck-Out Tongue ) (Pig Nose )
i'm so
i want to be mad theyre making such a mess
is this really happening??
Sure as sugar (Pig Nose )
Peni's getting us all connected through her phone (Pig Nose )
I think, I wasn’t really paying attention to the details (Pig Nose )
Are you really doing a school project about me? (Slightly Smiling Face ) (Pig Nose )
i’m just telling rick that so he gets off my back after he found a bunch of old comics and merch in my bookshelf and called me a nerd
(Slightly Frowning Face ) (Pig Nose )
this is amazing!!!
you’ve been in contact with Peni? how is she? anyone else??
She's fine (Pig Nose )
I did get a visit from a new one, Miguel. Name ring a bell? (Pig Nose )
miguel? i don't think so. i'll see if there were any spidermen named miguel in these comics
Seemed like he had an interdimensional doohickey but he didn’t stick around long enough for me to examine it, I was trapped in some quicksand otherwise I'da taken him out one-two and forced him to answer some of my questions. Noir-style, you know. (Pig Nose )
i'm sure you would've
I’ll send your info to Peni (Pig Nose )
was that her who texted me earlier? please tell her not to fry my phone this time. it was old anyway but this one is new
To be honest with ya I’m not really clear on how all of this works, I just tap on the thought I want and the message appears for me. This thing’s pretty handy, I see why you kids are always fooling around on em (Pig Nose )
when i’m not busy cleaning bird crap out of my carpet, remind me to have an existential crisis over your ability to warp reality whenever you feel like it

PENI (Sparkles )

Mrs Parker invited me over to her place. she still has her Peter’s old number in her phone. I wonder if it’s the same one as Peter B? 212-342-0902
Yup, that was the one I used
I think he’s blocked me ಠ_ಠ
I think I’ve got everyone all set up individually. A group chat will be more complicated because it’s not point-to-point, it’s a six-way data system that needs to account for everyone’s location in space-time
I get it, it's complicated
BTW I got a visit from that Miguel guy you mentioned
He just popped into my room??? and gave me something for my phone. it looks like a SIM card?
I think that’s why I’m not getting any more error messages from you
He did?? That’s good. Annoying but good ( ̄ー ̄;)
I asked him to go to everyone’s dimensions and give them these chips I programmed to put in your phones but i can’t tell if he did, he just leaves me on read
I think he's too used to talking to his AI
Okay, it might take a couple of days but i think i have enough to make a comm package between you, me, and Ham
His universe is the easiest to connect to, the laws of reality just do whatever you want them to over there. It’s so cool but. Also infuriating
I’ll add the others one by one once we’re stabilized
This is so cool! You're amazing Peni I can't wait (Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit)
(Sparkling Heart ) (Sparkling Heart ) (Sparkling Heart )

TEAM (Spider )

Peni (Sparkles )
Roll call!
It's Miles
Present! (Pig Nose )
PENI (Sparkles ) has added GWEN to TEAM (Spider )
Peni (Sparkles )
Gwen don't block, it's Peni!
i got a visit from that miguel guy, he said you sent him. he grabbed my phone, stuck something it, then disappeared. kind of rude
who's here?
Hi Gwen! It's Miles
miles how are you?? what happened to kingpin? you shut down the collider right?? are you okay??
(Smiling Face With Sunglasses )
that answers nothing
good, in jail, yes, i'm great
who else can we add now? what about the peters??
Peni (Sparkles )
I asked Miguel to visit Mr Parker’s dimension
Peter B definitely blocked me (ಠ ∩ಠ)


Check your front door
Some kidnapping attempt. can't even persuade me to get off my couch
It’s just a package for you man, I just thought leaving it on your bed or something would be creepy
Yeah cause this isn’t creeping me out at all
Ugh dude
It’s a data point to connect your phone to specified time-points across the multiverse
I got it from the Japanese girl, I forgot her name
If I was gonna attack another spiderman I'd at least introduce myself first but I don't have time
gtg later
Who is this


TEAM (Spider )

HAM has added PETER to TEAM (Spider )
Hurrah, we got him! (Pig Nose )
So I bet you're wondering why I've gathered you here today
Just an icebreaker
Gets a laugh like zero percent of the time
Okay so I’m not sure how my number got out there but since Sprint is closed we’ve got until tomorrow morning to chat until I change my number again
What do you need, spiderman birthday party? Bar mitzvah? I also juggle but only if asked politely
Peter it's us!
Peni (Sparkles )
Hi! \o/
gwen here
You do birthday parties? (Pig Nose )
I mean
I used to
Hold on
Nope, I'm still confused
Peni (Sparkles )
Peter it’s Peni. I rigged up these proto-connectors to catch and send data packages to six point-locations across the multiverse
Well five, I'm still working on Mr. Parker
Didn't Miguel explain?
Who the hell is Miguel?
I found this thing taped to my front door
Got an anonymous text telling me to stick it into my phone
Seemed to do something
Wait how come Noir is Mr Parker and I'm Peter?
a strange number told you to stick a random SIM card they left for you into your phone and you ACTUALLY DID IT???
is this really everyone no shit?
Ignore that I'm swearing
I am not a role model
Someone answer me
Yeah it's us!
Peni (Sparkles )
Everyone made it back home
Noir too but I haven't been able to reach him yet
Glad everyone's okay
What about Miles? Has anyone heard from him?
Peter I'm here
You have shared a file
There was an error uploading your file
I just tried to send a pic to prove it’s me but it didn’t go thru
Peni can we send images?
Peni (Sparkles )
Still working on it (◞‸◟)
Easier to send text bc it can be translated to binary
Sending anything else is too complicated at the moment
Speak for yourselves! (Pig Nose )
ham sent me a magician’s hat containing a flock of live birds over text last week
i’m not joking. a literal hat popped out of my phone when i tapped it
a bunch of doves flew out and got feathers all over my room
Peni (Sparkles )
WTF LOL (^ц^ )
Peter laughed at “a bunch of doves flew out and got feathers all over my room”
Shit I didn’t know that notifies everyone
I mean crap


Yeah it's me
Hi Peter
Are you ok?
Yeah kid I'm okay
Not to be weird or anything but can you prove it’s you?
Last time we saw each other i left you to fight Fisk in a collapsing interdimensional portal, forgive me for being a little worried
You sound like my dad
would you believe it’s me if i said you still owe me $30 for breakfast
I'm good
(Raised Fist )
"he’s good" he says after nearly giving me a heart attack at 30
aren't you like 40
aren't YOU like twelve
seriously?? I'm 14!!!
(Slightly Smiling Face )
Look kid
I'm glad you're okay
yeah me too
you still haven't answered me about the burgers tho
Sorry Miles i’m getting a lot of 2398(*@# bad frequency kshhhhh #@$#)
you know it doesn't work like that
Read 4:49 PM

Chapter Text

4:09 PM - 26 Dec 2018 380 423k 239k

Hi everyone! I’m the new Spiderman with the black suit (official name TBD). I made this account to formally introduce myself after the craziness of last week. I know I probably confused a lot of people so I wanted to say hello.

I just want to say I know this is a big responsibility but I take it very seriously. I have a lot to learn but if you give me a chance I want to help do what Mr. Parker did, protect people and give them something to smile about. It’s a crazy world but when I was a kid @spiderman gave me hope! And still does even though he's gone. I didn't expect to be here but now that I am, I want to do that for anyone else who might need it.

I've spoken to Mrs Parker and Mrs Watson and they’re both really great people who have been through a lot. I wouldn’t want to do anything with Peter’s name that they’re not cool with but I’m so lucky to have their support.

I really don’t want to replace @spiderman. No one can. I was a huge fan & I just want to make sure his legacy lives on. I’m gonna do the best I can to make sure this city stays one of the best places to live.

- your new friendly neighborhood spidey (Victory Hand )(Spider Web )

oh no im still so upset about peter but @thenewspiderman is too cute. i can't not love + cherish him 4:39 PM - 26 Dec 2018 5 20 18

now who's ready for some memes 5:30 PM - 26 Dec 2018 932 68k 93k

biryani babe
great, new spiderman is a millennial 7:09 PM - 26 Dec 2018 2 2 8

zodiac killer did nothing wrong
@abcdfuckyou old spiderman was a millennial, new spidey must be gen z 7:14 PM - 26 Dec 2018 2 1 9

ho ho holy shit
@kesha2fan “first spiderman” “old”
*googles peter parker’s age*
“27 years old”
7:14 PM - 26 Dec 2018 8 38 90

mary call me back
welcome new spidey!! 7:53 PM - 26 Dec 2018 3 103 177

beep beep
will new spidey fix the economy 9:47 PM - 26 Dec 2018 16 239 394

do any of you know how to get an account verified 10:39 AM - 30 Dec 2018 273 2k 19k

@thenewspiderman i believe you need to fill out your entire profile, including phone and contact info and bday, and also bribe @twitter with money 11:00 AM - 26 Dec 2018 40 239 394

@taradraws that’s too many things guess i’ll just hang out with the rest of my fellow plebians (Victory Hand ) 11:03 AM - 28 Dec 2018 503 3k 83k

i didnt think id have to say this but pls dont try any of these tricks at home. come on guys 12:38 PM - 29 Dec 2018 50 2k 14k

genji is my son
@thenewspiderman did i just see you try to do a backflip off of the lincoln center and smack your head into the wall 12:59 PM - 29 Dec 2018 3 9 34

@chiasimono no u didn't 12:38 AM - 29 Dec 2018 38 203 482

happy new year!
@thenewspiderman -> @heyitsspiderman
btw guys dont call me “spiderkid” it sounds lame and i wont be this age forever yknow
01:38 AM - 1 Jan 2019 894 5k 28k

oh man
Im gonna die in this suit wont i
I better make sure it smells nice in here for the next guy 01:39 AM - 1 Jan 2019 685 1k 12k

Respect Women
@heyitsspiderman well that got dark fast 02:01 AM - 1 Jan 2019 4 10 18

Mr Raccoon
@heyitsspiderman please stay safe new spidey, we don't want to lose you too 02:39 AM - 1 Jan 2019 14 58 101

long tall sally
@heyitsspiderman if a spider wore pants would it be like this or like this
09:28 AM - 5 Jan 2019 48 83 209

@jonadsnads it would be like this
12:20 PM - 5 Jan 2019 938 9k 76k

@heyitsspiderman dude wtf i have that jacket. tj maxx?? 01:38 PM - 5 Jan 2019 13 39 89

@heyitsspiderman @luceeeeeee WE FOUND WHERE SPIDERMAN SHOPS LET’S GET ‘IM BOYS 01:40 PM - 5 Jan 2019 6224 83

@heyitsspiderman @luceeeeeee @mason_shepard would you stop attacking a literal child jesus let the boy live 01:57 PM - 5 Jan 2019 94138 236

@luceeeeeee @mason_shepard @taintedsorrow im not a boy. Im a man. spiderMAN. Come on 04:22 PM - 5 Jan 2019 73 11k 46k

to all my haters stop saying im copying off the old spiderman. Im copying off a bunch of superheroes 05:22 PM - 8 Jan 2019 73 11k 46k

@heyitsspiderman why the all black suit anyway 8:41 PM - 13 Jan 2019 2 2 5

@xoolander aesthetic cmon man get with the program 04:09 AM - 14 Jan 2019 89 1k 6k

@heyitsspiderman Were you really a fan of peter parker?? You seem a little young to remember him that well is all 7:30 AM - 17 Jan 2019 1 3

@PatriciaReynolds3 i wrote a self-insert fanfiction with me as peter parker and posted it on when i was like 10. yeah i’d say i was a fan 10:51 AM - 17 Jan 2019 120 2k 8k

@heyitsspiderman oh did you? (Winking Face ) 7:23 PM - 17 Jan 2019 1       

@heyitsspiderman stop blocking me kid 7:40 PM - 17 Jan 2019           

Chapter Text

Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza), Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

Peter when's your date with MJ again?
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
It’s not a date, we’re just getting dinner and talking
That’s definitely a date
Gwen and I want to help
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
peter you cant fake being cool around us
you absolutely need help
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
How exactly are two teenagers gonna help me
You know I’m dating another adult here, we’re a different generation
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
so it is a date then?
We just want you to not look like you just finished fighting a raccoon for starters
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Ouch, kid
That's not a very high bar
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
well you spent the entire 36 hours we knew you wearing sweatpants, a trenchcoat, and mismatching shoes
you can only go up from there
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
I’m not sure if I should be insulted or touched you guys are so passionate about this
Do I have to take a pic of my closet and fridge to prove to you two I can take care of myself? is that where this is heading?
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
although we will need to see pics of the outfit you’re wearing before you decide to wear it
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Absolutely not
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
Since we cant be there
your friends need to be involved
This is a very normal part of a makeover montage
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
That is not what this is
And frankly some 30-something guy, even me, sending you guys selfies is not something I’m comfortable with you guys having on your phones, I think your parents would agree with me
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
well we need to see pix of the clothes you’re wearing at least
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
because you know we’re right
What kind of cologne do you use
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Why the hell do you need to know that
Because whenever my dad is trying to impress my mom he uses this like
Dolce and gabanna cologne set a saleslady at macy’s convinced him to get
and it smells like hot garbage
So i need to make sure you dont wear that
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
Mom said that she likes this victor rolf(???) one so you should try that
Uncle aaron also liked polo red but i dont think that’s a good idea cause he’d always go to like clubs and stuff to meet women and mj sounds classier
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
peter’s being quiet
peter what are you thinking
He’s probably running to the bathroom to clean out his entire shelf of dolce and gabanna cologne
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

PENI (Sparkles )

Hey Peni you worked out the kinks for sending images right?
Yup! \o/
Why is something wrong with it?
No Gwen and i are just gonna be sending pix a lot over the next few days to help Peter with his definitely-not-a-date
Yeah i’m pretty sure it’s strong enough to send videos too so long as theyre under 5mb for now
Ok cool
Does that mean the connection is strong enough for peter to keep harassing me on his interdimensional twitter account then
LOL probably
Sorry Miles
I bet peter doesnt even have a twitter account in his own universe
He does, gwen and i found it
He just retweets baseball stats and posts pictures of bodega cats he sees
Spider man has NO social media presence at ALL in that universe it’s an absolute travesty so i guess i gotta blog enough for the both of us
But anyway it’s come in handy now, this way i can see what you guys are up to too, it’s like i’m there even if i cant visit (Slightly Smiling Face )
(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )


GWEN renamed the group to QUEER EYE: P PARKER,

Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
"Queer Eye"? Isnt that offensive? Or is it a reference i should get
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
no to both
Ok so Peter I’m making you a playlist to get hype. Gotta set the mood while ur prepping
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
No thanks
Appreciate the thought but something tells me we listen to different music
I know that!!!
I already thought about old people music
Like you grew up with the Beatles probably right?
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
okay that's just embarrassing for you
that was well before my time
you guys know I’m 37, that’s not old
(Neutral Face )
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
(Neutral Face )


anyway here's your playlist for getting yo girl back!!*

I had to guess what types of genres you like
You grew up with like 90s pop right so you’re not completely unsalvageable
And there are like a million songs i have about getting back w your ex but i didnt know if you know spanish or listen to reggae
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
damn miles you work fast
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Like half of these are behind a paywall
You dont have a soundcloud acct?
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
You do?
Jeez you might be right
I think im too old for this
You dont like it?
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
No I mean
Thank you
Even if
Shit i havent listened to fun in years what happened to them
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
theyre an old indie band. they used to be really popular, theyre from ny
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
idt we have them in my universe
Idk my mom would listen to them like on the radio back when she drove me to elementary school
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
okay new rule
No more mentions of you guys’ ages in relation to pop culture
You think i listen to maroon 5?
Yeah? You seem like a maroon 5 kind of guy
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
I know enough about the both of you now to know that’s an insult
I think that’s enough for now
Can i postpone the rest of this torment to another night
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
that's a good idea
i need time to go to macys for research
peter do you have a macys near you? or a uniqlo?
he’s not ready for uniqlo
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
well just text me where you shop + how much you’re willing to spend
also can u send me pix of your closet i need to know what we’re working with
what’s mj’s look
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
like what's her color scheme?
you can’t match but you want to compliment her if you’re going out in public together
weren’t you like married for a like long time, you should know this
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
You know what she looks like
She's got red hair and blue eyes
Is that enough?
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
what does she look best in
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
She wore a lot of just brown and white and gray for her job to blend in
She’s a reporter
What do you mean you dont know what color she looks best in?????
youre supposed to say that she looks best in all of the colors
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
She looks nice in black
That’s an awful answer
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
What do you mean it’s an awful answer
She had a real nice black dress for formal occasions
What dating experience are you bringing to the table kid?
Why the hell am i asking two teenagers for advice again????
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
ok so muted colors
her hair and eyes already stand out so she doesn’t draw attention to herself in her clothing i guess
so you should look sharp but not outdress her
i can work with that
You cant be looking like a fuckboy on your first date with your ex
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
A what? Don’t use those words
This is definitely a youth thing
Where do you guys learn these words?
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
a fuckboy is just like
a guy who leaves you on read
and is only interested in sex
don’t worry about it you already know mj so you’re good
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
I’m extremely concerned for the both of you now. You use these kind of terms regularly?
Peter we’re 15, we grew up with the internet
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
no *i* am 15, you’re still 14
Cmon gwen work with me
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
hey i spent like all weekend watching tan france videos to prepare for this, let me have my moment
3:29 PM
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
ok i had a look at those pix you sent me
dark suit all the way. with like the white long sleeve
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
it’s just dinner and a walk on the highline, i’m not wearing a suit
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
not the full thing but definitely the blazer
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
you think?
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
full suits on tall people are intimidating anyway
and you’re like super tall
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Really, I hadnt noticed
Like jack and the giant beanstalk tall
Ham calls you the cloud botherer**
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
Okay meeting adjourned

TEAM (Spider )

Everyone wish Peter good luck for his date tonight!!!
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you got this, just do the dark blazer and the white shirt with those slacks, remember to brush your teeth, and make sure you wear your hair and it doesn’t wear you!!
Peni (Sparkles )
GANBATTE!!!!!!! (Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )
Knock em dead Romeo! (Pig Nose )
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Dear Peter,
Wishing you the best of luck. Ms Watson sounds like a wonderful woman. My advice to you is to not worry about what time has passed, and focus instead on enjoying the evening. Toasting the both of you tonight and hoping you rekindle your relationship.
Signed, PBP
Mr. Parker by the way, you don’t have to sign off on each of your texts, we can see when it’s from you (Slightly Smiling Face )
P.B. PARKER (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
I see. This device is still somewhat unclear to me even with Peni’s and Mr. O’Hara’s helpful instructions. I will study it further.


so how did it go?
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
I love you kids but there’s a limit to how much I’ll share with you
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
damn bro!!
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
Miles he doesn’t kiss and tell, that's a good sign, we should encourage this
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
I suppose telling you not to read into that is useless
Look some things I’m keeping private, ok?
But I knew you would appreciate this, so as it happens, the view was very nice and she wanted a photo, and I agreed for you two
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
let’s see it!!
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza) shared a photo***
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you look good!!!!
like expensive good!!!! but not tacky
classy af
dapper dan would be proud
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you’re confusing him miles
peter she looks really nice too, i hope you both had a great time and there’ll be more dates
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
At the risk of speaking too soon, I think we did, yes
Not that I’m inviting myself to this level of emasculating scrutiny again, but I appreciate the time and effort you kids put into this
Next time let me handle it tho, okay? I’m still reeling from all the pop culture you shoved into my brain against my will
True we need to save up for next week
Peter (Slice Of Pizza ≊ Pizza)
You renamed the group to QUEER EYE: P PARKER,

Chapter Text

#SpidermanSwitch what’s the story behind this? Why is this trending? 11:30 PM - 5 Mar 2019 1k 3k 90k

baby shoes never cruised
@heyitsspidermam there’s a theory that youre from an alternate dimension and you and peter parker switched universes after that weird earthquake back in dec #spidermanswitch 11:33 PM - 5 Mar 2019 2 3 17

@aerugo finally, a trending topic new yorkers should care about 11:48 AM - 5 Mar 2019 33 1k 21k


Yknow i think they might be onto something

Rule number 80 of the Spiderman gig: learn when to walk away from this kind of thing

since when are we on #80? where are the other 79?

oh wait, did you mean to actually give me more lessons while you were snoring on the bus back from the valley (Face With Tears Of Joy )

I'm writing a manual. I saw that video a pedestrian caught of you practicing in brkln heights, you're leaning into your swings too much. if you put too much power in your legs it'll wear you out.

Stay tuned for more #SpideyFacts and be sure to subscribe for daily updates (Face With Stuck-Out Tongue ) (Victory Hand )

??? what
Just copying how you guys talk so you can see how ridiculous it is. Peeling my skin off would've hurt less

OYE viejo we do NOT talk like that (Face With Tears Of Joy ) (Face With Tears Of Joy ) (Face With Tears Of Joy ) (Face With Tears Of Joy ) (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Not helping your point, kid

cabbage merchant
Sooooooooo @heyitsspidermam just confirmed #SpidermanSwitch, right? 12:03 PM - 5 Mar 2019 5 10 28

#SpidermanSwitch Not to be a raging feminist but if the multiverse is Confirmed then is there a universe where there’s a spiderwoman?? 5:48 PM - 5 Mar 2019 59 328 909

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

the people want me, miles (Smiling Face With Sunglasses )

Can you imagine the chaos of multiple spiderpeople in one dimension

oh wait

It already happened

(Face With Tears Of Joy )

once peni and miguel get their hopper gizmo working we should switch dimensions and costumes for like a week and see if anyone notices

idk if you could pull off my suit tbh

but i do like yours a lot

very new age

ive been thinking of designing everyone new ones

I dont think peter has changed his look since he was a teenager

oh god

make that man a new suit miles

but mine first

Peni is first, i feel bad she doesn’t have a formal #look like the rest of us yknow


Spiderman 1.0 and Spiderman 2.0 are SEPARATE but EQUAL heroes - BASHING IS NOT TOLERATED
posted 4 months ago by sloth_homunculus
832 Comments share report

#SpidermanSwitch Discussion Thread
posted 1 month ago by spidermanfan2389
677 Comments share report

THE ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN #87 - Weekly Comics Discussion Thread
posted 1 day ago by insertwittyusernamehere
838 Comments share report

I like new spidey more than the old one…
posted 10 hours ago by comicbook_luver28
201 Comments share report

makeitlast 823 points 3 hours ago
(tumblr voice) you ever see a post that just looks like someone swinging a bat at a hornet's nest

ogspidey_mkg29 409 points 2 hours ago
might get downvoted but i get you op. I grew up with old spidey and his death broke my heart, i’m not sure if i’ll ever really recover, but my son was never really interested in him. my son is five but now seeing a new spidey that’s closer to his age has somehow captured his attention the way old spiderman didn’t. I don’t know why, but he’s absolutely obsessed with new Spiderman. It’s kind of bittersweet for me, ‘cause he’ll never really get to know Parker Spiderman like I did, but I’m glad we can bond this way over the Spiderman legacy and he’ll grow up with someone. I just hope he stays a good role model.

My husband wants to invite Spiderman to our wedding. Does he have an address or something?
posted 5 hours ago by solidbob
38 Comments share report

RedMemeMker 409 points 54 hours ago
You mean like for entertainment or as a guest?

YK372 372 points 2 hours ago
Nobody knows his address, that's the point of having a secret identity. but he’s on twitter often enough, you might want to just @ him there. Fair warning he might think you’re joking and just send back a meme or something.

babybayayayby 9 points 26 minutes ago
if a time traveler from 1800 asked me what it’d be like in 2019 i dont think i’d be able to make this shit up

it turns out that being bitten by a radioactive spider does not cure you of your inability to kill the spider chilling in ur bathroom 7:38 PM - 14 Mar 2019 8k 36k 108k

in honor of old spidey's memory and new spidey being rad af im making my next bday party spiderman themed and ur only invited if ur in costume. Im not talking party city shit, i mean like spiderwebs everywhere, peter parker look alikes, you have to enter through the ceiling 9:33 AM - 23 Mar 2019 8 78 832


have you seen this? you can’t not go

I cant tell if you're joking or not

man if you cant have fun with it then no one else can

@heyitsspiderman so can you like talk to spiders or is that just a rumor 7:38 AM - 27 Mar 2019 2 15 72

@swagettiandmemeballs (Spider )(Spider Web )(Spider Web )(Spider Web )(Spider )(Spider )(Spider )(Spider Web )if ur a spider ull know what that means 7:38 PM - 14 Mar 2019 1k 7k 18k

TEAM (Spider )

Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
(Spider Web )(Spider Web )(Spider )(Spider )(Spider )(Spider Web )
(Spider )(Spider Web )
Peni (Sparkles )
(Spider )(Spider Web )(Spider )(Spider Web )(Spider )(Spider Web )
(Spider )(Spider Web )(Pig Nose )(Spider Web )(Spider )(Pig Nose )
Peter Burrito
am I having a stroke or are you all holding a conversation entirely in emojis?
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Peter, I am confused as well. I can only see boxes. PBP
Peni (Sparkles )
Oh no, you must not have emojis installed on the phone Miguel gave you!!
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
sorry mr parker, it was just a joke, we'll stop :)
7:39 PM
P.B. PARKER (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Peni has sent me instructions for me to see the images on my blower. Aces!
(Spider )(Face With Stuck-Out Tongue ) (Spider )(Spider )
Peter Burrito
You must be joking

i discovered a new pokemon only located at the very the top of the empire state bldg. no i will not share pix. it’s mine yall cant have it 9:17 PM - 29 Mar 2019 508 3k 9k

the theme for the met gala next month is “camp”[1]? how much will you guys pay me to crash the red carpet wearing nothing but spidey boxers and my mask 5:11 PM - 30 Mar 2019 2k 38k 64k

@heyitsspiderman reign it in, kid 6:00 PM - 30 Mar 2019           


We really need to talk about your twitter

It's a madhouse

It’s exactly what it needs to be

I’m bringing spiderman to the people

You run around in spandex and bring people the gift of life and happiness, that should be enough for them

it's for morale!

It's literally all gibberish

You last week: have fun with it!

You this week:

You have shared an image
Oh yeah? try me

I'm staging an intervention


Chapter Text


hey how come u never told me how warm the suit is
It’s nice right?
Cause if everyone knew every fashion engineer in ny would be after me for my secrets
A stylish, complementing, flexible, heat-trapping suit
I’d never hear the end of it
No dude
I didnt notice in the january cause it was below freezing and it kept me warm
But it’s spring and im hot af in this thing
Oh right
Ask may if her nephew had anything for the season
Usually i have a suit just for summer weather
you need something that breathes otherwise it stinks and you gotta wash it every time you use it and that wears down the polyester
And you’re disinfecting those old suits of his before you try them on right?
Yes mom
Let me guess
You spent some time having fun and ignoring my advice
Only to discover that I was right about the baby powder, and about the smell, and now you’re covering your ass and playing cool by pretending that you’ve been doing it all along
How are you this annoying from a dimension away
Don’t worry, I won’t say I told you so
But I know you’re thinking it and it’s just as bad
(Slightly Smiling Face )

The Peter Gang

SPIDER-HAM created the group The Peter Gang
Is this a thing now too?
Just a chat for the adults of the team! Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. (Pig Nose )
Perhaps we can discuss more sensitive topics in this conversation. PBP
Such as my recent case. Grisly one. I have a serial killer stalking victims in Queens. Tracked him to his lair, but the droppers blew it up with me in it. Lost all of the info down there and burned up my good coat. PBP
Not a lot of cases get to me. PBP
Sorry to hear that. You need help with the case, Peter?
I think I have it covered. An old friend’s lending a hand on a stakeout tonight. We’ll get him. But thank you, Peter. PBP
We’re here to help. Just let us know if you need anything, Peter! (Pig Nose )
Well one thing this group has achieved is convince me we do need nicknames. The kids have been arguing it for a while
Noir can be Four-Eyes (Pig Nose )
I call Peter! (Pig Nose )

Some of my associates call me Benji. I prefer that. PBP

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

hey you got any more music recs?


I actually made a playlist for you


It's just what i do when i get bored

make playlists for other people??


I listen to a lot of music when i doodle, i just put on my discover mix

Sometimes musicly gives me songs i dont like but my friends might so i save it for them

h/o let me dig yours up


yeah the music player

do you have that

i don't think so


It would suck if you cant listen to the music im sending

i couldn't find most of the songs you sent to peter in my dimension, either the artists don’t exist here or they exist and they aren’t musicians


I cant believe i havent thought of this before

My killer taste is being wasted on you guys

well we can still hear it when you send it over

Right let's try this*

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

i'm excited

i've run out of workout jams

contra it’s past 8 we need to join the vid call



C O N N E C T I N G . . .


PENI: — wrong with the audio? I’ll —
PETER: Oh, they just popped up for me. Hey — can you two hear us?
MILES: Peter?
GWEN: Yeah, sorry, we’re here.
PETER: Here the kids are!
PETER: You two finally thought to join us?
PETER: My horn’s been acting up —
PENI: Give me a second, let me rename the grownups.
HAM: Actually Peni, the other Peters and I were talking, and we’re coming up with nicknames. I’d like to reclaim my name —
PETER: Don’t listen to him. I was here first, I have a right to —
HAM: We have the same right!
PETER: — really boils down to first come first serve, but it’s a law respected since the dawn of time.
MILES: Aw I’m not allowed to call you Peanut Butter in my phone anymore?
PETER: Hilarious, never heard that one before —
PENI: Okay guys, I’m about to integrate vid feed one by one. You should see me first, just shout if it works. Three… two… one —


GWEN: Ohmygosh!
MILES: I see you!
PENI: How’s the video?
MILES: Pretty good —
GWEN: A little laggy but okay.
PETER: Fine here.
NOIR: Peni, your color is bleeding out of the video. My phone is becoming a color. It’s dark — blue? Oh, there’s orange too. Or it might be yellow — is that meant to happen?
PENI: Oh no. Can you go into settings —


MILES: Crap, she went out for me. Peni?
GWEN: I lost her too.


PENI: Sorry, I tinkered with a few things. Let me try again —
PETER: Everything okay?


PENI: How’s that?
MILES: Great!
GWEN: Wow, the video’s so clear!
PETER: Looks steady.
NOIR: Is this happening now?
PENI: There could be a couple seconds’ delay if the transmission konks out on me, but yeah, it’s in real time.
NOIR: Then you look tired, Peni. How late have you been working?
PENI: I’m fine! Just glad it works. How’s the phone?
NOIR: Still blue, but the color has stopped spreading. Gizmo looks like a piece of Miles’s art.
MILES: It does?
NOIR: Your — I’ve forgotten the name of the style. Your artwork. The splattered colors.
MILES: Spray paint?


MIGUEL: Hey guys.

PETER: Holy shit —


NOIR: Mr. O’Hara, I was wondering when we’d be seeing you again.

PENI: Miguel! Bikkurishita, give me a warning —

PENI: — when you hack my network, you could —

PENI: — just ask, I’m —

MIGUEL: Just checking in. I know most of you but I wanted to introduce myself to the whole team or whatever. So hi. If I didn’t make it clear already I’m who you thank for all this.
PENI: Uh, no, I’m who you thank —
MIGUEL: I helped.
PENI: Ignore Miguel, I’m going to try connecting everyone now. Peter, you first.
HAM: Which Peter was that now?
PENI: Jiji Peter.
PETER: What was that?
MILES: It just means the cool Peter.
PETER: Why don’t I believe —


PENI: Awesome.
PETER: Hold up, you gotta give me a warning —
GWEN: Woah, where are you? I thought you lived in a studio in Queens.
MIGUEL: He’s at Mary Jane’s.
PETER: How the f — how the hell did you know that?
GWEN: You’ve crossed the line into creepy territory, dude.
MIGUEL: Sorry. Lyla just keeps tabs on your locations for me. It’s all to make the transponders better. I’m not doing anything weird with it, promise.
MILES: Who’s Lyla?
LYLA: I’m who you really thank for all of this happening.
MIGUEL: She’s my assistant.
MILES: What’s —
LYLA: Sorry for startling you. I would visualize but I’m a little busy making sure Peni’s gizmo doesn’t overheat connecting seven universes in space-time.
PENI: Okay, I’m ready to connect everyone else. Three —

MIGUEL: Don’t take this the wrong way but I’m gonna mute you all, this is giving me a headache. Chamaca if you need help, just ping me.

PENI: Two —

PENI: One —

HAM: What are you eating, Peter? I can smell it from here.

PETER: Stir fry and rice. What do you mean, you can smell it? Is this a cartoon thing?

HAM: Share with the class. Lemme just reach in and grab some —

PETER: I don’t recommend it, there’s pork —


GWEN: It’s coming through for me!
PENI: Yatta~
GWEN: Miles, what’s that behind you?
MILES: Huh? Oh — just give me a second —
PETER: What is it? One of your art pieces?
MILES: It’s a project for the school, there’s a contest for mural designs to put in a new extension in the south hall.
GWEN: No don’t put it away!
MILES: No, I — it’s not ready, really. I do have those costume sketches if you guys want though.
GWEN: YES, let me see mine!
PENI: Peter, you know you’re holding your chopsticks wrong?
PETER: Probably. Are you going to teach me how I should be doing it?
PENI: Weeeelll if I don’t it’s gonna bother me, so —
MILES: Mr. Parker, are you still there?
NOIR: I’m here, Miles.
MILES: You’re quiet, is everything okay?
NOIR: I’m fine… I’ve missed you all. It’s nice to be among friends like this again.

GWEN: … I missed everyone, too.
HAM: Me three.
MILES: I can't wait until we can visit each other. I know we talk all the time and I don’t want to be ungrateful because I know you're working hard, Peni, and Miguel has already proved he can do it. But it probably sounds stupid —
PETER: Not stupid. Hey Miles even if it doesn’t happen, we’re here whenever you need us. We’re just a phone call away.
PENI: I'll ping Miguel so he can explain, he's different from us. But the next step for us is mobile transponders. I’m ready to dive in —
PETER: Peni, I know how excited you get but, I say this kindly, I don’t want you touching this project for a while. You’ve barely slept since you first texted us all those months ago. Take a few weeks to pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself to a — whatever it is kids do in your time. A — a razor scooter.
MILES: A what?
PETER: I don't know.
PENI: Miguel and I are already working on mobile transponders for everyone —
LYLA: And me. I’m working hard too, thank you.
PENI: And Lyla, I guess.
MIGUEL: Miles, I’m a special case. Long story short my DNA works a bit differently than yours. To allow autonomous safe travel between dimensions the user’s molecular structure must to adapt to its destination, which is fine if we’re talking individual jumps to known universes. But we’re programming six hoppers across an infinite number of universes — I assume you’ll want to jump to other dimensions as they become known — which means an infinite number of molecular —
LYLA: Yawn, you’re losing them, Miguel.
GWEN: No, I think we’re following.
PETER: I’ve got a Master’s in biophysics and a PhD in biochemistry. If there's anything I can do, just shout.
MILES: You do?
PETER: Do you think I’ve been on the couch watching TV for twenty years? What do you think I do all day?
MILES: I had no idea, I just figured, Iunno, superhero stuff?
MIGUEL: — so I think we can get the prototype done in the next, eh, three months? Give it another week and I’ll have a better estimate. The master’s gotta work.
PENI: Uh, I’m the master who’s making these goobers, not you, and I —
MIGUEL: I was talking about you.
GWEN: Aww.
PETER: Miles, don’t think I don’t notice you nodding off.
MILES: Wasn’t hiding it. Sorry Miguel, I don’t have the brain for math.
MIGUEL: It’s not math. It’s quantum physics and —
LYLA: Here we go —
PETER: It's technologically complex and the best minds in the multiverse are on it and it’s a weeknight. I’m going to bed, and I suggest you all do the same.
GWEN: It’s, like, barely nine. And you’re an adult.
PETER: An adult who has a job in the morning. I’ve never set an example before, I’m kinda getting into it. When you’re my age you’ll relish the chance to go to sleep at nine PM, trust me.
PENI: But we didn’t get to see Miles’s art!
MILES: We can do this again. Same time next week?
GWEN: Works for me.
PETER: Fine with me.

PENI: Night everyone!

HAM: Sweet dreams!

PETER: Night all.
MIGUEL: Night guys.

MILES: Talk to you later.

NOIR: Take care, everyone.

LYLA: Talk to you all soon!


P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)

Thank you for including me in the conversation. If I am quiet there’s no need to be concerned. I’m content to listen and be among friendly company, even if there is nothing to say. PBP
(Slightly Smiling Face )

Chapter Text

this ten year old kid whose cat i saved from a sewer just told me my suit makes me look like a wannabe venom. why do i even bother 9:03 AM - 01 May 2019 99 10k 23k

hey if i stood on the street and passed out information to save the bees would you guys actually stop and listen or would you keep walking. unstoppable force (new yorkers in a hurry) meets an immovable object (my passion for the environment) 7:38 PM - 02 May 2019 23 7k 12k

@starktowers i want to talk to u about all the alien tech you dumped in the city i knocked on ur door but no one answered. why have u closed ur doors to the public 10:34 AM - 07 May 2019 18 3k 10k

Stark Industries
@heyitsspiderman Hello Spiderman. We unfortunately don’t allow guests in through the rooftop entrance. If you’d like to visit Stark Towers, please sign up for a tour! 11:30 AM - 07 May 2019 10 103 302

@starktowers unbelievable 11:48 AM - 07 May 2019 43 337 4k

@starktowers 4,082 people agree i should be let into the building how stupid do you feel now 12:43 PM - 07 May 2019 19 3 53

@heyitsspiderman hey spiderman. how are you today 09:01 AM - 10 May 2019 2 1

@maebyism cant complain. How are you? Need rescuing? 09:52 AM - 10 May 2019 3 4

@heyitsspiderman no i just need cheering up. things are shit and corps are killing this smelly city and my mom is getting priced out of her neighborhood and i flunked my test yknow just falling into existential despair this beautiful tuesday wyd 09:57 AM - 10 May 2019 2

@maebyism this city isnt smelly :( 10:13 AM - 10 May 2019 3 2 8

@maebyism okay it kind of is. I’m really sorry about your mom and your test. If i see an anti development activist around i will web them up just for you. Do you want me to get you a pizza? My treat 10:15 AM - 10 May 2019 7 1 3

@heyitsspiderman omg
No that’s ok but ty
I just needed to vent alksdf im sorry to drag you into it 10:17 AM - 10 May 2019 1

@maebyism i’m ur friendly neighborhood spiderman u can tell me anything. I’m part of this city as well so i’m affected by everything you are. I want to help if I can 10:23 AM - 10 May 2019 2 1 10

@heyitsspiderman it’s ok. Idk if there’s anything anyone can do to help 10:26 AM - 10 May 2019 1

@maebyism it might not be me but someone has the power to help somewhere. This city is full of people who care. and asking for help is something we should do more often. is your teach or ta available to help? can your mom stay with anyone while she gets back on her feet? 10:30 AM - 10 May 2019 1 2

@maebyism we gotta look out for each other. like i’m just doing it with a mask but the people around you care about you and want to see you succeed. I want to see you succeed. gentrification can suck my black ass but you can come back from this. ¡¡¡si se puede!!! 10:34 AM - 10 May 2019 1 3

@heyitsspiderman xoxoxo 10:37 AM - 10 May 2019

just wanted to let yall know i’m not sponsored by anybody and i dont believe in selling my image. If you see any product saying i’m with them it’s false so you can stop pouring your money into those corporation-shaped money incinerators 1:13 PM - 11 May 2019 32 4k 12k

@heyitsspiderman next time on: Spiderman Destroys Capiltailsm 1:29 AM - 11 May 2019 4 7 38

@summerlovin38 and i destroy capitalism, even 1:38 PM - 11 May 2019 17 10 54

hey @foxnews dont compliment me ever again. Thanks 4:00 PM - 14 May 2019 372 738k 224k

@heyitsspiderman @foxnews SPIDEY SAID FUCK NAZIS 4:19 PM - 14 May 2019 35 8 309

@wario_thefrenchman youre diddley darn right 4:23 PM - 14 May 2019 21 37 173


8:01AM. SEGMENT: “VIGILANTE AND VANDALISM”: This is Just the Facts with J.J. Jameson, where we report truth, and not just opinions. The truth today is that “public hero” Spider-Man could stand to be teaching his million-so followers a little more about public serving and a little less about glorifying the crime he supposedly fights against.

If you can believe it, this new Spider-Man might be even worse than the last one: not only is he carrying on the vigilante name, but he’s glorifying vandalism by ‘tagging’ — street term — graffiti that he likes on the street. Unbelievable! For someone who claims to care about our city, a hero should be cleaning up the streets, not riddling it with more filth. We’re joined now by a caller: go on, you’re on the air with J.J. Jameson...

@JustTheFacts @JJJameson
3:33 PM - 19 May 2019 83 912 3k

Public Serving and the Dangers of Graffiti

1. You can download the app NYC 311 to keep tabs on citywide issues like parking, school closings, garbage collection, etc. You can also use it to request investigations into things like rat conditions, potholes, broken traffic lights, and even assistance for the homeless.
2. Even with a mask or a respirator, paint can and will get into your lungs if you paint a lot. Health is important, and graffiti work is a very serious (and big) commitment. Be prepared for the risks if you decide to do it!
3. Holding doors open is common courtesy now. You don’t get good guy points for that anymore. If you want to do more, then volunteer at your local homeless shelter, food bank, or animal shelter.
4. Don’t kill yourself trying to tag a dangerous place. Everyone wants to hit that heaven spot under the Williamsburg Bridge but don’t just do this because you think it’s cool. There are a lot of ways to express your creativity and talent that aren’t as risky.
5. Get involved in your local elections and attend city hall debates! Those often affect your lives more than national or even statewide laws.
6. None of those gang symbols ok guys. we don't do that here. I see you spraying gang signs and we’re gonna have words
7. Stop littering. Seriously that should be a given

Spider-Man (2018-)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"Spidey" redirects here. For other people, see Peter Parker (disambiguation). For the comic book series, see Spidey (comic book). For subsequent versions of the character, see List of incarnations of Spider-Man. For other uses, see Spider-Man (disambiguation).

Spider-“Man” is a vigilante superhero that first appeared after the Brooklyn Earthquakes of 2018[1][2]. Like his predecessor Spider-Man (here-forth referred to as “Parker’s Spider-Man”, 2008-2018), he fights crime and using web-slingers and superhuman agility, dexterity, and strength. To differentiate from the two heroes, local New York outlets have referred to him as Spider-Kid, Black Spider-Man, and Kid Arachnid.

Among the New York public, Spider-“Man” is widely considered a hero for the people, continuing the legacy left by his predecessor of serving the public as “[your] friendly neighborhood Spider-Man”[3]. Several companies have reported merchandise, comic books, and toys are in development.[4][5] In March 2019, Netflix secured the rights from S.H.I.E.L.D. to Spider-“Man”’s image to produce a television show.[6] Conversely, mainstream politicians, police officers, and journalists have discredited Spider-“Man” as a vigilante or even terrorist. Property developers and landowners continue to protest Spider-“Man”’s unsanctioned use of public buildings and landmarks for acrobatics and crime-fighting.[7][8]


Spider-“Man” wears a black-and-red costume and has a smaller frame compared to Parker's Spider-Man. Locals have come to a consensus that his stature and the sound of his voice imply he is a teenager[9][10], possibly the same age as Parker’s Spider-Man when he took on the role in 2008.


The history behind Spider-“Man”’s origins is currently unknown. Researchers have theorized that given their similarities, Spider-“Man” likely came into his abilities the same way as Parker’s Spider-Man, from a bite by a radioactive spider[11][12]. No evidence of this has yet been acknowledged.

Spider-“Man” was first sighted in public on December 15, 2018, the evening of the Fourth Fisk Collider Incident[13]. Video evidence captured him on camera introducing himself as “the new Spider-Man” in Greenfort Park. PDNY reports have credited him with the capture and subsequent arrest of Wilson Fisk that evening.[14]

Spider-“Man” has made numerous appearances in public since his introduction, primarily appearing in efforts to stop crime before they escalate. Witnesses note his reputation for escorting women home, combating harassment, and rescuing daredevils, copycats, and graffiti artists from dangerous heights.[15][16][17] (See related links for a recorded list of Spider-“Man”’s crime fighting efforts.)

About one-third of all Spider-“Man” sightings are recorded in Brooklyn, with the remaining reports mostly spread across Manhattan and the Bronx.[18] This is opposed to Parker’s Spider-Man, who operated primarily out of Manhattan in his later years.

Powers, Skills, and Equipment

Spider-“Man” has demonstrated abilities similar to his predecessor, including superhuman strength, agility, and quick healing, with two notable exceptions. Eyewitnesses have reported claims of Spider-“Man” demonstrating invisibility and an uninvestigated power of “electromagnetism” which reports claim has the power to shock or stun a target at a range of up to five meters.[citation needed]

Cultural Influence and Legacy


Investigative reporter Roberto Martinez compiled PDNY records, local sources, and word-of-mouth interviews in January following the Fourth Fisk Collider Incident and reported that 97% mentions of the new Spider-“Man” were positive.[19] A May 2019 Sortid poll announced Spider-“Man” as New York’s second-favorite superhero with 42% of the vote, coming in second place to his predecessor Spider-Man, with 49%.[20]

Superhero theorist and cultural activist Abby Browning says that Spider-“Man”’s rise should be “encouraging” and “empowering” to all that mourn Peter Parker’s death. “The timeliness after which our new Spider-Man appeared following Mr. Parker's death feels like a manifestation of our young generation’s eagerness to engage in goodwill and social proactivism. Spider-Man is proof that heroes live among us; it is proof that, as Mrs. Watson-Parker claimed, ‘anyone can wear the mask.’ We should celebrate that we have raised a generation that is so quick to take on the mantle and so eager to fight for justice. We should celebrate our new hero as we mourn his predecessor, and aid him in our mutual quest to fight for not only the future of our city, but the future of Earth. So long as we continue to set an example by caring for our neighbors and fighting for injustice, Spider-Man will live on in the heart of this city. More than that, he lives in the heart of all Americans.”[21]

Social activists have praised Spider-“Man”’s celebrity as representation of New York’s diversity and for setting an example of the oft-quoted Spider-Man adage that “anyone can be a hero.” Arguments have been made by others[22][23] that appreciating Spider-“Man”’s racial or ethnic background as an example of ethnic diversity should not be misused due to the individual's anonymity. Spider-“Man” has not stepped forward to confirm or dispute any claims to his ethnic background, though he has “liked” several posts on Twitter describing him by fans as “el hombre araña latino” and “la araña” (Latino Spider-Man/The Spider) and “the Black Spiderman”[24][25]. Some reject this as evidence and argue this might simply be in reference to the color of his suit.


See Also

Related Links

ok who’s been editing my wiki page to put quotes around the word “man” 12:32 PM - 15 May 2019 102 4k 10k

@NYCparks are you guys awake i wanna talk about your pesticides harming my friends the local bees they told me yall was buggin 2:48 AM - 16 May 2019 11 1k 8k

i have just been informed that all of the pesticides being used by the state dept are bee-friendly. Thank you @NYCparks for keeping it real but I will not apologize for an artful pun

also save the bees 10:12 AM - 16 May 2019 139 2k 15k

@heyitsspiderman i cant believe you swung all the way over to UWS just to critique our og spiderman party. no disrespect 10:43 PM - 17 May 2019 4 3 18

@IEatPianos like you’ve never gone out of your way to bother someone to honor an internet meme 11:59 PM - 17 May 2019 139 2k 15k

guys ive almost hit 1mil followers. What should i do to celebrate 7:01 AM - 18 May 2019 212 6k 41k

@heyitsspiderman order them to bring you chinese food 7:30 PM - 18 May 2019           


2. Please do us mods a favor and if you report something for claiming ownership of another person’s sighting pic, make a comment in the post

Spidey in Astoria today bringing people lemonade as they wait for the 9 train to start running again!
posted 2 weeks ago by gumballmachinery
128 Comments share report

garusty 23 points · 2 weeks ago

Spidey in Bed Stuy defending some girls
posted 5 days ago by piperpeckerpincher
419 Comments share report

piperpeckerpincher 57 points · 5 days ago
He was de-escalating a situation at a bar and I caught the end of it. A guy was yelling slurs at a group of Latinas but Spidey came down and yelled at him back in Spanish. I don't speak spanish but can someone translate?

lallorona 82 points · 5 days ago
LOL kinda hard to hear but he’s saying basically “wash your f*cking mouth,” “go apologize to your mother for being such a disappointment” JAJAJAJA this kid is telling US not to swear???

1010101018238 9 points · 5 days ago
un hijo is meeting la chancla tonight

jimhalpert 21 points · 5 days ago
was spiderman even allowed inside the bar?

serotonin 7 points · 5 days ago
it’s not like they’re gonna kick him out, he just cant drink probably

piperpeckerpincher 65 points · 5 days ago
it was all outside. i think he was just passing by and heard the commotion. they gave him a coke on the house until the cops came

spidey unmasked in prospect park [LOCKED]
posted 3 hours ago by piperpeckerpincher
419 Comments share report

AutoModerator Score hidden · 3 hours ago
This post has been locked and the image has been removed for violating the Terms of Service.

IAMIARRA Score hidden · 3 hours ago

throwawayawayayayay Score hidden · 3 hours ago
Okay, I watched video. I reported OP, I’m a bad person, I know. I wanted to see if it was real, and it looks pretty legit, but Spidey's face is NOT shown, he has his hood up. It follows Spidey for about 10min as he’s swinging, he dips into an ally, and 5min later someone - presumably Spidey - walks out. Should we be worried about op?

sirspamalot Score hidden · 3 hours ago
we should be worried about spidey for having a stalker

junkhogger Score hidden · 3 hours ago
old spiderman had tons, he seemed to do okay

apartment4d Score hidden · 3 hours ago
old spiderman was an adult, he could sue. This kid can’t

lovelylegendary Score hidden · 3 hours ago
technically nothing illegal has been done. As much as i dont like it you cant sue someone for taking a video in public. NAL tho maybe we should go to r/legaladvice

parachutesonmars Score hidden · 3 hours ago
Law student here. u/lovelylegendary is correct, OP hasn’t violated any laws. If Spiderman, as Spiderman, wanted to file a restraining order to prevent someone from stalking Spiderman, he couldn’t, because Spiderman is not a citizen of NY. Spiderman does not have an address or pay taxes, etc. The private citizen also can’t file a RO against someone for stalking Spiderman, because only Spiderman can approve or dissolve a RO against Spiderman. You see the dilemma. The private citizen could file a RO against a stalker for stalking the private citizen — he wouldn’t even have to “out” himself as Spiderman, simply say “This man thinks I’m Spiderman and won’t stop following me” and provide the evidence. But things get more complicated with Spidey being a minor; his parents would need to obviously be involved here. This is a battle for them.
Please note none of this is actual advice.

hugedingloid Score hidden · 3 hours ago
How do the parents of celebrity kids deal with the weirdos who stalk their children?

hugedingloid Score hidden · 3 hours ago
Wrap their kids in bubblewrap till they turn 18, mostly.

sorry i havent been around a lot, i had some rl stuff i had to do so i took the mask off for a few weeks 1:19 PM - 30 May 2019 213 3k 34k

great now im at wall street. ive only had the suit back on for five minutes and im already mad at everyone here 1:28 PM - 30 May 2019 69 17k 54k

Amber Waverly
@heyitsspiderman Hey Spidey! Would you like to attend a charity event next month for the Lambert Children's Hospital? We can compensate you for your time. Email us at if you're interested! 5:51 PM - 30 May 2019 13 3 44

@awaverly I am intrigued. I can go but I won't accept compensation since I have no concept of money because im just a sentient human-shaped spider. thanks for thinking of me xoxo 3:14 PM - 31 May 2019 69 17k 54k

Chapter Text

the truth is being spiderman is just a lifetime of realizing you can wear the same suit every day and nobody will judge u for it 7:02 AM - 1 June 2019 382 5k 67k

i don't understand why some criminals are so obsessed with doing crime. chill out and play fortnite or something 1:07 PM - 02 June 2019 483 67k 102k

@gwen_stace oh god you play fortnite 3:49 PM - 02 June 2019 1 1

@itsyaboymiles go back to overwatch you filthy genji main 5:00 PM - 02 June 2019 1 1

@gwen_stace OK NOW THAT'S TOO FAR 7:11 PM - 01 June 2019 1

PENI (Sparkles )

Miguel and I are gonna start that dnd group! Did you still wanna join?
Ok sure
Can i invite gwen?
Ofc the more the merrier
how's the interdimensional travel going?
Pretty good!! We’re actually really close. I havent told the others yet but we’ve hit a bit of a wall and Miguel is busy, i need his help to finish it (Ŏ艸Ŏ)
Wow you’re almost done???
Well sorta
We’ve sent inanimate objects to each other. easy peasy
sp/dr wanted to go for a long time so we sent him to miguel a few weeks ago
Did it work????
Well sorta
he made it there but he was really confused and sick after the jump, he even forgot who i was for a while. it took him a few hours to be ready to come back
We still had our connection tho so i knew he’d be ok. But it was kinda scary
I’m glad it turned out ok. I dont want anyone to do it if it’s risky
Especially if you guys glitch again
The glitches are sorted i think, our cellular makeup wasn’t patterned to your universe makeup
This confusion is a result of repatterning, sp/dr’s body wasnt prepared for the change and his brain got confused which reality he was in
and he’s just a spider, it’ll be a little while longer till I feel confident sending one of us through. More matter, complex chemical makeup, etc
Wow. that’s still incredible peni thank you for doing all this.
Remember peter can help if you need it
Yeah I think it’ll be okay
Just a little insecure right now
Would you want to be out first tester?? As soon as we're 100% positive everything's ok
Aw i want to but I can't, too busy right now
could barely find time to do this dnd thing
hope everything's ok (Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart )(Sparkling Heart ) this is gonna be real lowkey so nw we need to push it back

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

Hey could you meet for dnd this saturday? Peni wanted to start a group with miguel. ive never played before so i was only gonna go if you were there

i'm sorry i still want to but cant sat. i'll let peni know. another time?

sure nw

hey thanks everyone for reaching out. i'm okay sorry for disappearing again, rl is getting a little hectic! i might have to take another quick break but i'll be back before you know it (Victory Hand ) 10:12 PM - 9 June 2019 37 293 3k

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

Did you have a chance to look at my redesigns? Jw i know youre busy
oh yeah i did
sorry miles it's finals here, i've been busy
yeah same
it's kinda crazy here too. i haven't talked to the others in a while
i liked the blue-white one a lot
yeah i know the hoodie is your #look but i figure it gets hot in the summer so i wondered if you wanted to change it up
sometimes i do a little
hey btw
can i ask you something that's been kinda bothering me
sure? what's wrong
that playlist you made me a few months ago
it was sweet
but there were like. a lot of love songs
and i don't wanna be mean but… i just thought that i was clear back in dec
i'm not really interested in anything like that
Oh no sorry. No i didnt mean it like that. I just thought you’d like the songs
ok. i did
i mean i do
i mean i put a lot of love songs in peter's too if it helps
miles i’m sorry to make things awkward but like
i think it was obvious you had a crush on me
and i just don't want to make things complicated
i just need to say that
Gwen i really didnt mean it like that
Sorry for making things weird
ok. maybe i misread things then.
sorry it's just you know i haven't had friends in a long time really
i'm still kinda getting used to this again
It’s ok, i’m here if you wanna talk
that’s just it, you’re always around if i wanna talk
it’s familiar in a bad way sometimes. but that's not your fault
ugh sorry
That’s what friends are for, gwen
I’m confused
Are you saying you need space?
i don't know
it’s been a long time since i’ve been able to talk to anyone at all, much less talk to anyone this much
it's just reminded me of how easily i lost peter
peter parker
the one in my universe. he was my best friend who died
I didnt know
I guess I understand why you didnt want to talk about it
it was my fault
I'm sure it wasnt
yeah it really was
Gwen if it was anything like my uncle, then i’m sure it wasn’t. You remember how i blamed myself and it took everyone else to make me realize. I know you must’ve tried your best, and he wouldnt want you blaming yourself
i appreciate what you’re trying to do but please stop. i know i had a hand in his death. it was the first lesson i learned doing this job. but I didn't want to talk about peter back in december and i don't want to talk about it now either. i don't even know why i brought it up
so please drop it ok
i gotta go. talk to you later

Brooklyn Visions Academy

44 Court Street
Brooklyn, NY 11201

2018-2019 School Year Report Card

Miles Morales
8483 Seventh Ave.,
Brooklyn, NY 10023

GRADE: 9th Grade
TERM: 2018-2019

Absent X 3 1 6 10
Tardy X 5 7 11 23
Visual Arts (ART103) X 92 92 99 87 93 (92.5)
World Topics I (HIST301) X 89 89 90 92 91 (90.3)
Literature II (ENGL102) X 95 95 96 91 93.5 (94)
Calculus I (MATH203) X 86 86 97 98 97.5 (95.8)
Physics I (SCI105) X 98 98 92 85 88.5 (91.7)
Spanish III (SPAN103) X 97 97 99 100 99.5 (98.7)
97-100 = A+ 93-96 = A 90-92 = A-
87-89 = B+ 83-86 = B 80-82 = B-
77-79 = C+ 73-76 = C 70-72 = C-
67-69 = D+ 63-66 = D 60-62 = D-
0-59 = F

Please note that the Final Grades listed here in parenthesis () are preliminary. Final Grades are subject to adjustment after Final Exams are calculated. The 2018-2019 Year report card will be mailed to you at that time.

Dear Mr. Davis & Ms. Morales,

Miles is a conscientious student with a very strong work ethic. He has performed admirably this year. Moving schools in the middle of the first semester was undoubtedly a hurdle, but after initial bumps (which we have discussed) he has really dedicated himself to his coursework.

While his classroom work and exam grades are solid, he has occasional problems with tardiness, and other teachers have caught him napping in class. (As I mentioned over the phone, he plays it off for laughs, though I take his health quite seriously.) I worry these are symptoms that he is struggling with school-life balance. I recommend he make use of his teachers' office hours when he finds himself struggling with the material. I have also encouraged him to join Visions' after-school arts program to meet and engage with his peers. I hope you might find the chance to speak with him about making the most about Visions' exemplary (and award-winning!) extracurricular activities for his sophomore year.

I am looking forward to seeing Miles again in the fall. He has been a true pleasure to have in class and is becoming a great citizen of the school.

Have a great summer!

Yours Sincerely,
Rory Adler
Physics/Homeroom Teacher



Miles, Mom and I got your grades in the mail. Call me when you get the chance.
See you Friday.

(Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit) Mamá (Black Heart Suit ≊ Heart Suit)

¡Buen trabajo mijo! Dad wants to talk about your report card. Call him back ok?
Want to go out for dinner Friday? Our treat ;)
Te amo mucho. Mamá


Hey peter can i ask you someothing
What’s up squirt
Have you ever been like
I dunno. Nevermind sry
What is it?
You’ve done the spiderman thing for a long time right
Like through school too?
Yeah, though school was a long time ago. I’m sorry kiddo, I’m not certain I can help with homework. Unless you’re learning biochem?
No that's not it
Did it ever get hard?
Like this and the spiderman stuff
You’re feeling overworked?
I guess soy eah
Are you ok Miles?
I dunno.
Ganke is home for the weekend, he normally helps me with math stuff, im awful at it
I've got the final on monday morning, physics final that afternoon, and i just realized i also have like a draft essay i completely forgot about that’s due tuesday before the FINAL project and essay that's due next week
It’s not that it’s difficult
It’s like just everything
Everything meaning school and the spiderman work?
Yeah that on top of everything else
I really wanted to do this art program after school ever since i joined, like it was the only rreason i was kind of excited to go to visions
and i finally got the grades for it cause they dont let you in without a min gpa but i couldnt even attend this month cause i just dont have the time to do it and hw and learn how to be spiderman
I can’t really tell my parents about it cause they keep saying how i made a commitment to this school
But id dint make the commitment like they made it for me yknow
And itlll look really bad if i drop out
And just with everything else the past year like losing uncle aaron
It’s a lot and i dont know what to do
Like my grades are ok but i was out late every night for two weeks and i keep oversleeping. sometimes i forget to do homework and i never forgot to do homework at my old school before so i feel like im losing it
Miles take a deep breath
I hear everything you’re saying and i want you to know I’m here for you
I'm guessing this is why you've been quiet the past few weeks. One problem at a time. I know you want to do a good job, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your grades. Focus on school ok?
What are you doing tonight?
I dunno i was just gonna get started on this stuff
Youre not going home?
No i told my parents i needed to stay for the weekend and do work
When was the last time you took a day off? Last weekend?
I can’t take a day off, peter
There’s too much to do
Sorry to bother you
I’ll talk to you as long as you need about whatever you want, kid
But it’s also important to me that you have someone there who can help more directly
What about May?
Oh your aunt may
What about her?
Could you reach out to her? Her door’s always open her door to you
Any time you need to talk to an adult who knows the spiderman thing, if i’m not there she’s the next best thing
Idk i dont like to bother her. she just lost her nephew
She’d want to hear from you. She helped you the night of the gala
Dont keep yourself from everyone cause you're afraid of bothering us miles. you're never a bother
And I’m here any time
Are you all right?
I guess so
Want to talk about something else?
How’s your art going?
I havent really had a chance to do anything lately
I’m just tired all the time
Put down the homework and open your tablet
I want you to draw me something
Draw what
Shit i dunno. Anything
Weren’t you gonna design me a new costume?
Oh that was just an idea
What happened to it?
It’s still here i guess
What’s it look like? Can I see a draft?
work with me, I’ve worn the same damn suit for 22 years, I need an upgrade, I thought this was what you wanted
It’s not what I want, it’s just what you need
You really havent changed your look in 22 years?
I’m not very artistic
I believe it
I’m long overdue. Can I see?
You have sent a file
You think i could pull off all that white?
It’s not that much white
Honestly it’s hard to mess with the image while still keeping the #brand
Study groups say people don’t like blue and red together so much now, it used to be empowering but now it’s just. idk
I think people are tired of being reminded they're american
Is that why you went with black?
I went with black cause i like black lol
But yeah I could toss out the blue and make it all red instead, but like, maroon, with the white spider
I like that idea
You do? like would you wear it?
Sure i would. Thanks for thinking of me
Hey Miles?
First thing tomorrow morning, I really encourage you to go to the school counselor. I’m sure Visions has a good one
It’s important that someone’s on your side here. You’ve been at this school nearly half a year, that’s enough time for them to know you’re a good student. If you don’t have enough time in your day to participate in an extracurricular due to all the work, that’s something the school should know
It’s something your parents would want to know too, if you feel comfortable going to them
I don’t nkow if it’s a school problem or just a me problem. cause of my REAL extracurricular
Got it
I'll say it again, school comes first, before the spiderman stuff
I know, what have i done with the real peter
You’re a person first, superhero second
I think it’s just cause it’s finals now, and once summer is here i’ll have more time to do the spiderman thing
i was hoping peni's goober would work before then so we could practice but i dont think it will be ready
and then after that sophomore and junior year is so much worse cause that’s what colleges pay attention to the most
cross that bridge when you get to it. The city can survive without spiderman if it needs to for a little while
Surely the old peter parker took time off for school too
He did, and dont call me shirley*
Ahh wait I remember that. Been watching some old classics?
I did
Airplane was pretty funny, you were right
I thought since gwen and i are always annoying you with pop culture i should watch some of your stuff
Hey how are things going with MJ
They're fine. These things take time kid
Repairing bridges you’ve burned isn’t quick
Why do you ask?
Cause just everything you said, about taking care of yourself first, that’s true for you too
Btw im like
sorry i called you old all those times
It’s fine
37 aint young
You liked “37 aint young”
PETER WHO STILL OWES ME $30 was changed to Peter (Raised Fist )

May (2)

May, it’s Peter, the one you met a few months ago. Don’t lose your wig
Hope this number is still you in your universe and that you’re still awake
Sweatpants Peter?
Why is that the first thing you had to say
Hi Peter. Nice to hear from you. Are you trapped in our dimension again?
No, but I do have this nifty little device hooked up to my phone so I don’t need to be nearby to bother you across the multiverse now
Sorry for not reaching out earlier. Things have been busy. Working out some things in my neck of the woods. I hope you’re well
Good. I’m doing fine here. HomeCare came through, they’re finishing reconstruction on the house.
Oh jeez of course
I’m sorry about that
Where have you been staying?
At Mary Jane’s. Don't worry about it, water under the bridge.
Is something going on?
Yes actually, sort of. It’s Miles
Have you spoken to him lately?
He stopped by a few weeks ago to try to return his shooters, but I insisted he keep them. He wouldn’t tell me why. I haven’t heard from him since, though I've seen him on the news again. Why?
He reached out to me. He’s really overwhelmed with the superhero thing
There’s only so much I can do from a universe away. I offered your name up for someone to talk to, hope that’s okay
He just seemed really stressed, I think it’s a bad night
Do you need me to call his school or parents?
No it’s not like that. He’s just upset
I get the feeling that fancy school comes with a lot of extra busywork ‘help kids reach their full potential’
I understand.
He had to drop out of this art program he wanted to do. You know him, art is one of the things he enjoys
I think he needs someone physically there to lean on who knows the secret. I had MJ before I had you
I mean I always had you but you know
And he’s not going to his parents cause they signed him up for the school, I think
I think he’s afraid of disappointing them
But i thought maybe you could sit down and check up on him? Maybe just semi-regularly? Just to give him some stability. Make him feel like someone’s in his corner
You’re in his corner, Peter.
I’m over here.
I get it. I’d be happy to reach out first. I figure his parents still don’t know?
No. Or i dont think so
Maybe just start with an email? He’ll know I told you to talk to him but I don’t care at this point. Just want to make sure someone’s looking out for him there
I understand. I’ll reach out.
Should I be worried he tried to return the shooters?
I’m not sure. I was a little confused about it as well. He didn’t try to return the suit or the mask. But I think even if he planned on stepping away from all this, he’d still want to keep the suit. The suit was something he made that was his. The shooters still came from us, but something he felt he borrowed.
I get it. But he kept it all, right? And you’ve been seeing him out as Spiderman since?
I suppose that’s something
I suppose it is.

Chapter Text


AMA with Spiderman The Second
Hey guys, it’s Spider-Man. How’s everyone’s summer going? I lurk here sometimes and the mods thought everyone might enjoy an AMA. I’ll answer Q’s as long as I can. AMA! Proof: Twitter
posted 12 hours ago by ActuallyYourNewSpiderman
2,382 Comments share report

makeitlast 332 points 12 hours ago
Did you know the old Spiderman?

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 441 points 12 hours
I was lucky to meet him once before he died, briefly. It’s a bit of a long story and out of respect for his family I’ve decided to keep it private. But I was lucky to see him when I did and he was really encouraging and kind. It was meeting him that gave me the confidence to do this at all. I still wish we could’ve spent more time together, I think I could’ve learned a lot from him.

fiftyshadesofhay 21 points 12 hours
Solves the age-old question of “Did you have Old Spidey’s blessing?” Sounds like yes?

marymondyou 530 points 12 hours ago
I’m not one of them, but what do you say to the people who think you’re disrespecting Old Spidey by taking his name?

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 483 points 11 hours
I get this a lot and I totally understand. If it wasn't me in the mask then I'd be asking the same question. I've tried to think of it like I'm carrying on Peter's legacy, like passing the torch instead of replacing him. But the more I look at what he did and what I do, I realize we have similar goals but we can go about them really differently. So at the end of the day I try to do what he did, but I'm not him, so I can't do it the same way. Just like everyone can do good in our own way. I think it would be the bigger insult if I just copied him.

nuttymando -13 points 12 hours ago
Can you solve a debate between my sisters: are you black or latino?

nuttymando -8 points 12 hours ago
why is this getting downvoted? It was a serious question

marymondyou 21 points 12 hours ago
Mixed people exist my good man

gretgravyandgary 238 points 12 hours ago
Old Spidey did one of these and I never got my question answered so I hope you will. What on earth is your web fluid made of? How is it strong enough to stop cars but still dissolve after a few hours??? I may or may not have caught a bunch a few years ago and ran back to my university lab only to find it had disintegrated on the way. And I may or may not have cried out of frustration. Please help, this mystery keeps me up at night.

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 374 points 11 hours
Before I became Spider-Man, I wanted to know this as badly as you did, but now I understand why Peter never answered this: as soon as someone finds out what’s in it, people with bad intentions can find a counter for it. So sadly I can’t answer this one, but I can promise it’s biodegradable and safe for the environment!

gooooowildcats 213 points 11 hours
Hey Spiderman! It’s an honor to talk to you one on one. What kind of music do you listen to? What did you think of the game Sunday? How do you balance class and superhero work? What school do you go to?

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 481 points 11 hours
R&B. I’m almost glad Tightrope went to the Lakers now so he didn’t have to see his teammates acting like fools. It does get hard, but things are easier now that I’m out for the summer. Nice try ;)

bangbanger 618 points 11 hours
Hey Spidey, thanks for doing this. My grandma met you a last week during that robbery on 101st, and she wants me to pass on a message: You looked skinny for your age and she wants to know you’re doing good in school.

My question: What’s the hardest thing about being Spiderman so far?

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 578 points 10 hours
Please tell your grandma that school’s going great, and I appreciate her concern but I promise, my mom feeds me very well at home :)

The hardest part is probably getting used to what I can do. Nobody other than Peter has ever gone through this before so there’s not really a lot of medical advice around. And I can’t exactly go to a doctor with some of it. For example, I burn a lot of energy and get tired quicker, but I also heal a lot faster. Sticking to walls and stuff took a long time to get used to. Puberty’s got nothing on a bite from a radioactive spider.

supermariosisters 839 points 10 hours
Hello from South Korea! My brother and I are big fans. I’m moving to NY in a few months and my mom was really worried about my safety but I showed her videos you and first Spiderman to say how much crime you guys have stopped. My question is, what’s the most memorable story you have?

ActuallyYourNewSpiderman 1k points 10 hours
Woah, I have fans in South Korea!!!

I have a lot of stories… one that comes to mind was a little girl who asked me to save her balloon that flew off. Her mother was so embarrassed but I thought it was really cute. This one is more serious, but another time the PDNY were dealing with a hostage situation with an active gunman at the MMoMA. I was able to help by sneaking around the back and getting the hostages out one by one through the vents while the police kept the gunman busy. Scary stuff, but I’m glad we got everyone out safe.

Can’t wait to meet you in NY!!

PETER (Raised Fist )

How’re you doing kid?
I’m ok
You don’t have to keep checking in on me
I mean thanks tho
I’ve got an event thing tonight and then I’m spending the night at Ganke’s so sorry I can’t talk for long
Ah ok. Have fun
Any advice for how to play it? Like it’ll be weird just walking around in a costume making jokes or should i be more serious u know
Your event’s a spiderman thing?
Yeah a children’s hospital on the UWS. they invited spiderman for like promotion and all. it’s a good cause so i said ok
Be careful with that kind of thing, people can take advantage
Your parents still don’t know about all this right?
No? What do you mean take advantage
Photos of you at events. Politicians and journalists using your image without your consent, just be careful. You dont have any rights when you’re in the mask
these guys aren’t politicians?
I know kid, just be careful
What’s there to be careful about
Oh boy
i didn’t want you dealing with this kind of stuff till later
You know how most of the crime in new york isn’t robberies and gang violence, right?
Dad's dept arrests more ceos and tax evaders than anyone else
Well like that, sometimes the biggest threats to spiderman won't come waving guns and wearing balaclavas
I used to do this kind of thing all the time, charities and stuff. then my picture started showing up in trash magazines and radio hosts were discussing how I’d been promoting this or that cause, all of it out of context. No publicist to set the record straight
People will use your image for their own ends
You know we walk a fine line between hero and menace, and the press can tip that balance very easily
Sorry that happened man
I dont see the harm in doing this kind of thing though?
There isn’t really any harm
I would just document it, like on that twitter of yours. Say publicly where you’re going and what you’re doing
I don’t mean to discourage you miles
You’ve got good instincts
But not the commitment?
Nothing, just what my dad says sometimes when he’s disappointed in me
Miles I’m not disappointed in you
And I don’t think you dad means it that way, that you’re making bad choices
How are your parents by the way?
Sorry my dad’s just been making me mad lately
What’s up?
Setting curfews and stuff
Now that it’s summer i’m back home and he wants to know where i am all the time
I just tell him I’m going to Ganke’s when I’m out in the city
I’m not sure that’s wise, kiddo
well I know he’ll back me up
It might make things harder when you tell them the truth, they’ll just end up distrusting your friends too
I dont really have a lot of options
I have to lie to them either way
And I’m not gonna tell them till I turn 18
18’s a long ways away
Are you saying i should tell them now? That’d be so much worse
Hey I’m sorry if it feels like I’m on your case. Really
You know I didn’t have parents to worry over me, I just had May. and she was great. and very easy to hide from. so I did, for a decade. She worried so much about me normally I thought I was doing her a favor by not telling her.
And she found out on her own, and then I just felt like a heel, because she thought i didn’t trust her for eight years. I don’t want the same for you
You don’t want me making your mistakes. I get it
Call me an overprotective codger in a minute, I just need to get this out ok?
Each of us has a weakness. Gwen’s a bit of a lone wolf. Noir can let things get personal, Ham’s jokes aren’t as great as he thinks they are. Mine is that I put all my eggs into this basket when I was young and I didn’t leave energy to dedicate to much else. Your dad would probably call that poor commitment too. I regret that now. I don’t want that to be you too.
What’s my weakness?
This turned into a bit of a lecture and I didn’t mean it to. I don’t want you to be discouraged from doing good outside of the web-slinging and high-flying and and ass-kicking. You're good at that stuff already. I just want you to be careful while you're doing it
I’m sorry Miles, I lost it a bit. not really sure what my point is anymore
Just ignore me. I'm worrying too much
Have fun tonight, ok?

TEAM (Spider )

Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
are we doing another vidcall tonight?
I can’t tonight, I’m going to a fundraiser.
Have fun without me
Peni (Sparkles )
Have a good time!!
Make sure to leave before they ask you to stay and clean up (Pig Nose )
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
ham (Face With Tears Of Joy )
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
I have an engagement tonight. You kids would call it a “date.” PBP
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
wow really???!!! where are you going??
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
A gin mill down near the river. PBP
Peni (Sparkles )
OMG (ᗒᗨᗕ) good luck!

Amber Waverly
Having a great time at the annual Lambert Children's Hospital fundraiser! Lots of local business have made generous donations for our raffle, and @HEYITSSPIDERMAN is here meeting our amazing kids!!! 7:38 PM - 13 July 2019 134 632 1k

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

how’s the thing?
Fun! But exhausting
Lot of little kids here, they’re so energetic and they ask a million questions
“Can I use your web shooters” is tied for number one with “Can I wear your mask”
little kids at a fundraiser?
kids’ hospital
hope it goes well
Im bumping into guards everywhere it feels like there must be celebrities are here lol
guards at a hospital?
Yeah they’re just being vigilant i guess
the hostess is like old new york money or something
maybe they’re there to protect you instead, you're probably more famous than her now lol


DISPATCHER: Attention, attention. Engine 1, Engine 3, Engine 4, Engine 5, Rescue 1, Truck 1, 228 25th St Drive off of Utica Ave, caller is stating that the building is on fire next to 228 25th St. Flames are being shown and the building is occupied.
UNIT 7: Dispatch put it on EMDP.
DISPATCHER: Units are responding to 25th St. We are getting multiple calls, visible flames. Reported children inside the building.
DISPATCHER: Unit 7, be advised I have an extra engine responding.
UNIT 7: You have multiple calls, you're saying you are pretty sure this is a job?
DISPATCHER: Calls say the flames are spreading. Start out for Route 84 at Route 17B. We’re gathering additional information now.


You’re hanging out with children right? Remember to wash your hands. Kids carry a lot of germs (Pig Nose )
LOL it’s a hospital Ham, they have hand sanitizer everywhere
Glad to hear it. Humans are filthier than pigs, did you know? (Pig Nose )

New York News Network
ADVISORY: Due to an ongoing fire, please avoid the area of east Crown Heights in Brooklyn. Expect firefighter presence and stay clear of the area. Updates to follow. 8:49 PM - 13 July 2019 134 632 1k

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

do you attend a lot of public events as spiderwoman?
not so much anymore. lot of creepy guys just use them as an excuse to get close to “take pictures”
Just wondering what’s normal
Like guards subtly following you from room to room
i would guess not
anything look suspicious there?
Okay on a hunch I just went invisible for a few minutes, and the guards immediately started making call into their collars. I couldn’t overhear
i wonder what they want from you
I’m going to do some sleuthing
be careful miles
maybe they’re stealing from the charity that’s hosting?
Or they’re just watching out for something?
like what?

P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)

I received a news bulletin about your incident. I am engaged but I will an eye on the situation for you. Might want to hotfoot out of there to help if it gets to be trouble. PBP
If what becomes trouble?


Miles, there’s a fire spreading just a few blocks south of us tonight. I’m going to get your mother.
Did you make it to Mr and Mrs Lee’s?

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

And I have my answer
miles what is it?


ID034: He went missing again.
ID039: Goddammit. Invisible?
ID034: I don’t believe that. He’s small, probably just blends in with the kids here.
ID039: Check the —
ID039: Sarge?
ID034: — — — stairs the — — — — web — up on the —
ID039: Rich — have your location, I’m on my way —

New York News Network
CAUTION: An active fire in Brooklyn is spreading northeast of Prospect Park. Two blocks have been affected and the area has been deemed hazardous. Civilians are warned to evacuate IMMEDIATELY. 9:11 PM - 13 July 2019 37 1k 3k

#FDNY members are on scene of a 10pm fire, 11213 zip code in #Brooklyn. (photo credit: @sarah_mcmillan) 9:23 PM - 13 July 2019 12 204 584

NYCEM - Notify NYC
@PDNYnews Police Activity: Expect traffic delays in the area of Crown Heights/Brownsville between Atlantic Ave and Linden Blvd in Brooklyn. Consider alternate routes. Multilingual & ASL Link: 9:29 PM - 13 July 2019 52 1k 4k

May (2)

May, I’m seeing reports of a fire in Brooklyn in your neck of the woods. Did you warn Miles about the suit?
I wish I could say I did. It never came up. I’ve been ringing him for half an hour. Maybe he’ll pick up if you call?

@spidermanshots I just saw #spiderman2 pass me in prospect park headed SE. couldnt get a pic tho 9:31 PM - 13 July 2019 3 2

@boyzind What happened? Was he headed toward the #BrooklynFire? 9:33 PM - 13 July 2019 1

@septemberrainbow idk he was just in a hurry 9:33 PM - 13 July 2019


Miles, answer me
You have missed a call
You have missed a call
Text me back. Did you make it to Ganke’s?
I want to make sure you left the house before this fire started. Stay away from the area. Call me back.

PETER (Raised Fist )

Miles could you respond to one of us, doesn't matter who, just let us know you’re ok
I’m following your news, I know the fire’s your priority but your suit is EXTREMELY flammable with that spray paint, do NOT go diving in there, leave this one to the fire department
The webbing can also catch fire and spread faster, it’s happened to me before
I’m going to keep buzzing you until you respond so I know you’ve read this
Just text someone back

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

miles? please answer one of us. peter’s worried sick cause he forgot to tell you about the suit

PETER (Raised Fist )

this isn’t because I don’t trust you
I just need to know you’re safe
Please reply to one of us


Interesting news from Miles’s world. A news bulletin claiming there’s coppers at that hospital after a fight with Spiderman. I suspect the invitation to that event might have been an attempt to lure him away from Brooklyn for an arsonist to work the caper. Unclear motive. I’d bet the moon Miles realized something was happening, tried to leave, and met resistance from security paid to keep him there, escalating in a fight. The bulletin says 15 armed guards were webbed on the roof. PBP

Thank you
Hope the date’s going well
Kind of you to ask. Don’t you worry about me right now.


How desperate are you to check in on Miles?
Could you visit him? Just let us know what’s happening
From the reports it sounds like half of his neighborhood is on fire over there
Can’t. Lyla’s down for maintenance tonight, she handles my jumps
But I’ve got a hopper if you want to go yourself. 616 to 1610 is a single trajectory, i can plot it from here. Should be easy. But you gotta decide quick
Peni said your device wouldn’t be ready for a while?
We have a prototype transponder
It’s complicated. I can send you though I probably shouldn’t. I can’t get the gizmo to you in person but I can send the equivalent via electrical current to the card you installed in your phone. It'll probably give you several hours in his dimension
Are you serious? It’s that strong already?
I think it’s ready to send a person, Peni disagreed. We’ve sent teddy bears and a few small animals to each other’s universes, but nothing as big or complex as a human yet. Her spider went through and he was all right.
Though last week one of the cats didn’t make it out entirely.
The phrase “lab rat” is coming to mind.
Want me to lie and say everything will be fine?
I’m giving you full disclosure, all the skeletons are out. I’ve made some adjustments to the acceleration since and I really believe it’s ready, all of my test readings are stabilized, but you understand there’s always risks. That’s why I told you, not the others
It might work perfectly. You might also turn into a puddle of mush for a minute. You might end up with fifteen toes. If things go south I can pull you back with a premature pull
I realize this is a lot to take on faith. But I wanted to let you know it’s an option.
There’s no way you can just check in on him from your end?
Not tonight. Lyla’s out for another fifteen hours
All right. Let’s not jump the gun
Give him some time. another half hour
You sure?

May (2)

Where did you put your oxygen mask?
Your spare mask. It’s not in the lair. I thought you kept an extra in the upstairs closet. Did you take it when you moved out?
I’m going to Brooklyn. Miles needs help carrying those people out. He's never dealt with a fire before
I’m also giving him your old insulated suit, it should fit him. You haven’t worn that thing in years
May, hold on a second. Take a deep breath
Oh Peter
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
It’s all right. Just breathe. Miles will be fine
I still forget sometimes
I understand
I still think you’ll walk back through that door
I feel so responsible for Miles
I can’t watch the television but I can’t look away
I thought the sitting home doing nothing was over with, I thought I could help protect you this time
I’m so sorry

New York's #1 Gossip Magazine
#Spiderman has been sighted on the scene of the #BrooklynFire! Help or hindrance to the @FDNY? Watch our livestream: 9:55 PM - 13 July 2019 36 103 2k

@NYCmag tasteless 9:59 PM - 13 July 2019 1 2 3

J | A | B
@NYCmag Seriously? actual lives are in danger. stick to celebrity gossip and leave this to the people who can actually help this city 10:02 PM - 13 July 2019 3 6 10


Send it over

Chapter Text




















11:53 PM

CHAPMAN: An update on the fire raging in Crown Heights. Two apartment complexes have now been demolished and there are currently two deaths reported, with dozens missing. More numbers are coming in and we will update you as we receive them. We take you to Elizabeth Grzan, on the scene. Elizabeth, you're a safe distance away, but we can see behind you that firefighters are beginning to stabilize the blaze.

GRZAN: Thank you Carly. Yes, some buildings are completely untouched, others are totally devastated. You can see the flames are still going on this side of the street — I can feel the heat from way back here — and on the other street, those townhouses are completely fine. Helicopters have been assisting with evacuations and the FDNY have just now begun to control the fire, but it's still not safe to enter the area. I'm going to take you to speak with two residents right now, TJ Smith and Mark Washington. TJ, Mark, you've lived in this neighborhood for about ten years now. What did you see when the fire began?
SMITH: I was out on the street here, and there was a huge noise —
WASHINGTON: Like a pop.
SMITH: Like a huge pop, yeah. Like a bang. And everyone kinda looked around trying to figure out what it was, like a car backfiring or something. Then after a minute or two we started seeing a lot of smoke from the back, and Mark saw the flames first.
WASHINGTON: Our neighbor called the fire department. We were trying to get people out, yelling down the street, banging on the windows.
GRZAN: You said you've known a lot of the people who live in these apartments for a long time.
SMITH: Yeah, we're a family. Lot of people born and raised in these buildings. We all know each other.
GRZAN: What happened after the fire department came?
SMITH: Well Spider-Man came first.
GRZAN: He did?
SMITH: He told us to stay back and then he just went right in. He was in and out bringing people out from the roof. He'd bring em down to the ground then go right back in. Then ambulances started coming.
WASHINGTON: The fire department came and told us to back up here so we couldn't see too much anymore. So we're hanging out here finding water, trying to get other people some place to sleep. Most people have a place to go, but lot of us are gonna go to the school tonight probably.
SMITH: We wanted to stay till everyone make it out. Or until we know what happened to them. I think they have almost everyone now.
WASHINGTON: And then the other Spider-Man.
SMITH: Oh yeah that was weird. Another Spider-Man, dressed like the first one, with the red and blue suit. He came through like half an hour ago, just straight into the fire too. Firefighters were yelling at him but he just went straight in. I thought I imagined that but a couple other people said they saw it too.
GRZAN: Someone wearing a Spider-Man suit went into the building?
WASHINGTON: It was weird. I thought it was him at first — Pete Parker? — but he's dead. It looked a lot like the old guy too, like a real suit, not a knock-off. He had the web things. He just flew straight into the building, no hesitation.
SMITH: Ten minutes later he burst out through a window with a little girl and the black Spider-Man on his back, he dropped the girl off with the ambulances and just disappeared with the kid.
WASHINGTON: He really moved like the old guy.
GRZAN: All right, thank you gentlemen. More updates to come, but for now, people should still avoid the area.

CHAPMAN: Thanks Elizabeth. What a mystery! Peter Parker, back from the dead to help his neighborhood out one more time? Stranger things have happened. We're getting some better footage now, it's unbelievable how quickly this situation escalated and it's difficult to imagine what these people are going through. We really appreciate you being out there to bring us their stories. That was Elizabeth Grzan reporting from Crown Heights. Viewers, a suspect for the arson has been arrested and is in custody. Firefighters say the blaze has been contained, but people should still avoid the area. Civilians can call 411 to seek alternate housing or shelter.











UPDATE: @PDNYChiefofPolice provides details of the fire that occurred inside a five-story housing complex in Brooklyn earlier this evening. 12:50 AM - 14 July 2019 41 31 421

May (2)

I have him
on foot
in suit out of mask
Can we come by yours? Need quick reply
Peter? You have Miles?? Is he all right?
Yes of course come
Long story
I’m here
Need to get him away from the chaos
Some people saw me
Moving as fast as I can
Come over we’ll make up the spare room
MJ is here. She came over to keep me company
I'm glad Miles is OK. She wants to know if you’re positive he doesn’t need to go to a hospital?
No. Smoke inhalation
He’s passed out but should be okay
He’ll need a lot of water and just keep an eye on him
I’ve been in burning buildings before. we heal but he’ll be sore for a few days. Let him sleep
Does MJ know about everything
She knows a little. I think she had a feeling something weird was going on when she met you at the gala.
Ofc she figured it out
She made some educated guesses and I filled in what I can. But she should hear the full story from you.
And stop texting while you’re moving. We’ll be here.











MJ: Peter?
PETER: Still here. Morning. Made a pot, it’s on the counter.
MJ: You want any?
PETER: You go ahead, I’ve ingested enough caffeine over past ten years to power Stark Industries on sheer willpower.
PETER: Sorry. Too much like him?
MJ: It’s okay.
PETER: No, I’ll stop. Ex-nay on the jokes.
MJ: How’s Miles?
PETER: Doing fine. Breathing’s steady. Give him a few more hours, he’s a tough kid. I’ll need to be gone by then.
MJ: I know. I’ve been following him on the news. His heart’s in the right place.
PETER: Have you talked to him?
MJ: Just a few times. I think he’s nervous around me.
PETER: Nervous? Why would he be?
MJ: Well, his predecessor’s widow. Opening old wounds. Doesn’t want to bother me. I’m old to him, I’m what could happen to his family if he ever didn’t come home one day. It’s hard to process. I get it.
PETER: If it bothers you, just tell him. He looked up to the old guy a lot. He wouldn’t want to offend you.
MJ: He looks up to you too, you know.
PETER: Scuse me?
MJ: You know he does.
PETER: Funny way of showing it. He calls me viejo — you know that means old man?
MJ: Come on, come on.
PETER: Yeah.
PETER: By the way — about that dinner. The gala. Back in December.
MJ: Oh, at Fisk Tower?
PETER: Right. I wanted to apologize.
MJ: What for?
PETER: For… coming off like a lunatic? I mean, wouldn’t be the first time I acted like a lunatic around you, but —
PETER: Shit. I’m sorry.
MJ: Don’t apologize. It’s weird.
PETER: Yeah.
MJ: Can we just acknowledge it’s weird and move past it?
PETER: Definitely. Yeah. Okay.
MJ: Pe — my Peter, he liked bagels from the place a block over, on Queensboro. I was gonna go out and get some for Miles. What kind do you want? My treat.
MJ: Everything with lox and cream cheese?
PETER: Jesus. Yeah.
MJ: Still weird.
PETER: Yeah, still weird.
MJ: Can I be honest? I was hoping May was awake by the time I got down here, so I wouldn’t have to talk to you alone.
PETER: Hahahahaha.
MJ: No offense.
PETER: No problem.
MJ: Do you want to wash up before going over?
PETER: …I was about to say I’m ready to go, but now that’d just be embarrassing.
MJ: Oh.
PETER: Ouch. No, don’t hold back. Haha.
MJ: Well I just meant, some of his… old clothes might still be here, if you need —
PETER: Nonono, that’s all right. I might just stay here till I need to go home.
MJ: I heard it was a rough trip.
PETER: I look better than how I arrived in this dimension last year. Half of my suit burned up and I smacked face-first into a Coke ad in Times Square, so yeah. Things could only improve.
MJ: Do you have to head back soon?
PETER: Probably. Not sure on the time limit for this thing. It’s a prototype. I know I’ll get an earful when I go back. Peni — she’s another one of us, the girl who made it — she told me not to use it. I’m breaking some school rules.
MJ: Well when have you ever listened to reason?
PETER: Exactly.
MJ: … I —
PETER: Look —
MJ: Yeah?
MJ: Peter — I know you’re not… I know this isn’t… but. Are you all right?
PETER: The one question I’ve been praying you wouldn’t ask me.
MJ: Ahh deflection. I know your name well. Okay, I won’t pry.
PETER: It would really, really make my day if I didn’t have to bother you with this crap. Because if you ask me one more time if I’m okay I’ll end up unloading everything onto you in May’s perfect little kitchen here like the Gulf oil spill of emotions and regret, and it’d just be embarrassing for both of us.
MJ: I won’t ask. Unless you want me to.
PETER: Mary…
MJ: I hope it works out. With — uh. Me. If it were — uh — me, then…
PETER: May told you. Okay. Well, she’s not you. And I’m not him. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.
MJ: Semantics…
PETER: Is something bothering you?
MJ: I guess — no. I’m sorry. You’re right, you’re not him. It’s easier this way.
PETER: Remember, he was a Virgo, I’m a Leo, and I’d never go blonde if you made me the richest Jew on the island.
MJ: Hahahaha. Oh god. I just — it’s too similar.
PETER: Sorry. Oh Jesus. No no no. You don’t have to cry. It’s all right — we’re all right. We’re fine. Here sweetheart. You’re okay.
MJ: No, thank you. I mean it. Miles is great. But I didn’t realize what it really meant for there to be another Peter out there until — I’m glad there is. I’m so glad there is. And he would’ve liked to meet you.
PETER: Well I — now I know you’re lying to spare my feelings, but I won’t stop you.
MJ: Peter, thank you. I don’t know why I’m thanking you. But thank you.
PETER: God MJ. You don’t owe me anything, much less a thank you.
MJ: I should go get those bagels.
PETER: Okay.
MJ: Will you be here when I get back?
PETER: If I can manage it. My hand’s starting to shake — probably not good.
MJ: I hope things work out in your universe. Give it another shot. If it were me — I’d listen. That’s all I meant to say.
PETER: Yeah. Okay.
MJ: Take care, Peter.



It’s Peter. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. Not sure how long this goober’s gonna let me stick it out in your universe. My leg is spasming, which is probably a warning to get my rear end back home. May will take care of you and get you back to your parents’ place. I’m sure they’re worried out of their minds. Read this and then call them ASAP. So 1. read this, 2. eat breakfast (MJ is getting bagels, I told her to give you mine, hope you like everything), then 3. call your parents.

Miles I can’t apologize to you enough. I know how badly you want to prove yourself, but I should bear most of the responsibility for what happened last night. I should’ve prepared you better, warned you about the risks. Above all I shouldn’t have made you feel like this was a choice you had to make. You did everything I hoped you could do and more, but I worry now that you’ve overcommitted yourself
since you’re still learning your limits
Being Spider-Man is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the most rewarding, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same choice you have to make. You’ve met two Peter Parkers now and you’ve seen how both of us turned out. I know neither road probably looks very appealing. I really didn’t want you thinking about this kind of thing until you were much older.

But last night you saw how serious it can get. And it will get like this again. Spider-Man is not invincible, you know that. But the last thing anyone should do in this job is overtax yourself. Rest when you need it, put away the suit when you need a break, find the balance that I couldn’t, but don’t devalue your life on the job, and for the love of everything, don’t ever remove your oxygen mask to save someone else. I was a lifeguard in college: the most important thing they teach you is not to drown with a drowning victim. You can’t help anybody if you’re barely breathing yourself. I know how bad the inclination is to save everyone. You really scared me last night.

May told me how you thought about returning the shooters. I understand if you want to hang up the mask. God knows I’ve thought about it more than once in 23 years. You have enough on your plate with school and college after that. Take some time to think it over. Whatever you decide, I’m always here if you want to talk.

I gotta leave. Sorry for the crappy handwriting. My arm is starting to feel numb. Probably a bad sign.

Please text me after you’ve called your parents just so I know you’re ok.

- P


Dad? I’m here
Sorry for ignoring your calls
I promise I’m okay
You have missed a call
Miles, call me right now
What happened to you? Are you okay? Where were you last night?
You have missed a call
I’m fine
But I can’t talk right now. Throat is sore. Smoke inhalation
You were caught in the fire? Are you in a hospital now? I’ll be there, tell me which one
Why didn’t they call me or your mother?
No dad I’m not in a hospital
But I’m okay
Can you come to this address in queens?
There’s something I need to show you

PETER (Raised Fist )

Peter, you okay?
Don’t worry about me. How are you? How’s the throat?
Sore. I just got done talking to my dad.
I told him
I see. How’d it go?
Awful. But that’s why I did it
He should know the worst it can get
I know him. If I told him during a normal day and then something bad happened later, he’d change his mind
I tell him now, he gets angry for a little while, calms down, then we can talk about it more
I applaud the intent but it might not have been the right call if you wanted to convince him to let you keep doing this.
Do you want to keep doing this?
I thought about that today
Last night was kinda a shock
When I was fifteen I used to roll my eyes when people said I was too young to be doing this stuff, but it wasn’t until last December that I realized what they really meant.
Miles you are VERY young, not just for the superhero stuff. You’re too young for us to lose. It’s very very tiring and you don’t get thanked for it. Daily life gets hard, your relationships suffer. The people you love suffer.
Your parents have every right to be concerned. It’s a long and lonely choice, and it’s a choice you don’t ever really stop making. I shouldn’t have pressured you into it. It was my job to make sure you understood the risks and I failed that.
You didn’t pressure me into it. Remember I said I wanted it. I fought Fisk and won so I guess I just thought I could handle this. I guess I just didn’t know how intense it got
8 million people in this city and i just happened to get bit. That’s crazy
But I have a responsibility to it now. I know you hate it but I keep thinking about that quote from your comics. The one about great power and how we owe it to try
You really believe in it?
You don’t?
...I’m not sure. Been a long time since i’ve thought about it in the way it was meant to be taken. You know I’m not the same spiderman I used to be. Took traveling to another dimension to realize that that old guy is still rattling around somewhere in here.
This past year has changed a lot, but maybe it hasn’t changed enough
I’m not sure why I’m telling you this. Shouldn’t be dragging you down, sorry kid.
I feel like even if I take a break sometimes, I gotta get back up.
I read your letter. I do still want it
And I don’t want to do it without his approval but I will if I have to. I’m just gonna be smarter about it. So I told my dad I’m still going to do it, even if he disapproves.
You did?
Are you lonely?
You just said about the job getting lonely
I don’t want you to be. I hoped things would get better for you
I’m sorry. Are things not working out with MJ?
Things take time kid. There’s a lot of trust to rebuild
Speaking to the other MJ in your universe opened my eyes to a few things
I wasn’t the best man I should’ve been for her
I think if you talked to her she’d understand
Funny, other MJ said the same thing
You mean the MJ here?
She’s not other MJ, she’s just MJ. she’d know better than anyone
Very true
Are you sure you’re okay? You made it back home?
I am… actually at hers right now
Wow, and here I was worried for you. lol
Not like that. I’m just here while I recuperate from the trip.
Are you ok?
I’ll survive. Mostly exhausted
She’s mad at me
What for????
Leaving like I did last night
You came to save me! She can understand that
Not for that.
She has a point
I took a big risk yesterday. And I’m glad I did it, but it was still a risk
I should’ve followed my own advice
You left her yesterday to come save me?
Thank you Peter
No need to thank me. I’m just glad you’re all right
Did you tell her about me? and the collider and everyone else?
I told her most of it this morning when I got back. It’s kind of become an ongoing conversation.
She doesn’t understand why I didn’t tell her sooner. We’ve been on good terms again for months, I think that’s what she’s really upset about
I should’ve told her before
But she’s glad you’re okay too
To be fair, it’s kind of a crazy story
It kind of is, yeah
I think she’ll understand
She’s probably not really mad at you, just the situation
That’s what my dad said today
Are you back home now?
Yupppppp I’m in bed resting
and super grounded
Yikes. Sorry to hear that
But not entirely surprised. May wouldn’t’ve let me leave the house till I graduated if I’d told her in high school
Dad is making lunch for me, he does that when I get sick
So i know he’s not really angry
He said, and I quote
“I’m not grounding you because you’re Spider-Man, I’m grounding you for lying to me and your mother”
I gotta tell mom tonight once she gets off shift, and he’ll be there to “fill in the blanks.” That’ll be harder
Well, you handled Kingpin and shut down a super collider by yourself
What’s a little parental pressure?
Hey man I just wanted to say
Thanks for looking out
And I won’t risk my life like that again. I’m sorry for scaring you. I’ll be better next time.
You know you already make me proud, kid.

Suspected arsonist arrested for allegedly setting fire to building complex in Crown Heights
by Elena Fuentes
July 14, 2019 | 1:55 PM

BROOKLYN, NY -- A man suspected of setting fire to a residential building on Saturday night has been charged with multiple felony counts involving arson, the Police Department of New York said Sunday. The charges could carry a maximum sentence of life in prison.

The man, Ryan Jackson, 83, is accused of setting the fire to a complex housing approximately 300 people. Jackson is suspected of entering the boiler room of 228 25th St the night of July 13 and setting it ablaze. The fire started at approximately 8:31 PM, and spread three blocks over the course of two hours. About 300 people have been displaced, with approximately a thousand affected. Firefighters were able to contain and extinguish the blaze around midnight Sunday morning.

Five people have died in the blaze and approximately two dozen have been hospitalized. Information to support the survivors and details for memorials for the victims can be found below…

TEAM (Spider )

Hi everyone
I’m ok
Thanks for yesterday
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
i’m relieved <3
Everyone has one of those cases. Hang in there kid (Pig Nose )
Peni (Sparkles )
I’m so glad you’re ok Miles (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
Peter what about you?
Peter (Raised Fist )
Glitched a little earlier, but I’m surprisingly fine now. Just tired
Peni (Sparkles )
Good, cause I’m gonna wring yours and Miguel’s necks
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
lol shouldnt you be happy your device works??
Peni (Sparkles )
I am, but nobody is allowed to bother me about not sleeping or taking care of myself anymore
Peter you could’ve died, I told Miguel it wasn’t ready and he went and sent you anyway
if Lyla was online she’d back me up
Peter (Raised Fist )
She’s right, it was a risk. Sorry to go behind your back.
Peni (Sparkles )
I just didn’t want anyone jumping until we were sure, not after we all almost died last time
Miguel doesn’t get it, Lyla handles all his jumps, but we need to be more careful
I didn't want to risk anyone’s life like that. If you died it would've been my fault
Peter (Raised Fist )
You’re right Peni
Hey it’s all good
Peni (Sparkles )
I’m just glad everyone’s ok
If you insist on doing this kind of thing then just let me know next time so I can help make the ride easier
I’d rather be mad and help you then you go without telling me and get yourself killed
my transponder will still take a couple more months to finish but I’m glad we know it works now, and I learned a lot from the data packets that came back
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Miles, Peter, glad you’re both safe. Hope your recovery is easier than mine. PBP
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Took down a merc cell last night in a speakeasy downtown. They were aiming to off a senator. Couple of bimbos got a few shots in. Nothing’s ever easy eh? PBP
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you were supposed to be on a date last night??!!
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
A date with the mafia. PBP
Holy smokes (Pig Nose )
Peter (Raised Fist )
Here I thought you were having more luck with your love life than I was
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Well I was with a woman. My informant. PBP
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
omg mr parker that’s not what a date means
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
Is it not? PBP
We’re all kind of hopeless aren’t we
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
get better soon everyone <3333
Yeah I’m not leaving this bed till Wednesday
under orders from my dad, but when my mom gets home I don’t think she’ll let me walk outside without supervision
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
your dad? he knows you got hurt?
I told him everything
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you did???
Peni (Sparkles )
Wow (○□○)
How’d it go?
He knew something was going on, but didn’t know what. this kinda surprised him
I’m actually kind of relieved I just did it
Now everyone who matters knows and I wont have to keep lying about it
And I realized it’s kind of… stupid to keep it from them
Like my mom’s a nurse and my dad’s a cop
I can’t think of two jobs that could be more helpful to spiderman if I tried
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
fair point
when my dad found out he freaked for a while and then he insisted i take these self-defense courses at the police academy, and i got a lot better at fighting. and he taught me a lot of cop language so i could learn where i could help out best and which ones to leave to the police
it was annoying at first and i wish i could’ve had the opportunity to tell him in my own time, but it’s been helpful in a way
i think your dad would respect that you told him first
lol my dad’s doing the same thing
he stomped around upstairs for a bit and then angry-fixed the sink and then he said he can’t prevent me from being superpowered so he’s bringing me to a MMA gym next week. and he wants me to study like, all the criminal processing that happens after somebody gets arrested so I can understand the importance of the legal system and blah blah blah
I told him with training and stuff i wont have time for actual spiderman work and he was like “good”
Peni (Sparkles )
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
Peter (Raised Fist )
Glad for you kids. You should take advantage of the resources available to you, I think you’ll be better and smarter for it
It’s more than I had
It just seemed kind of stupid to ignore that they can help
They can’t prevent me from having these powers but I’m already getting help from you guys, why should I ignore other help around me
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
And how. PBP
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
i hope it works out miles
sounds like your dad’s really understanding if you give him a chance
Well for the most part
But I’m definitely not telling him about Ganke hacking the police radio so I can spy on what’s happening in the city
I’d like my skateboard back before i turn 18

Chapter Text



Taking out the trash


Help Dad with dishes


Clean bathroom



Monthly (swap with Mom)

July 13


7/13 - 9/11 ✓

July 13

Self-defense lessons

8/1 - 11/1


Can I keep taking lessons?


July 13

Police procedural lessons with Dad

8/15 - 10/30 ✓

July 20

First aid lessons

8/10 - 9/30 ✓

July 28

Ride-alongs with Dad
- “Spidey-PDNY Joint Crime-Fighting Efforts”
- “Spidey-PDNY Cooperation Squad”?

People will never buy that

9/1-12/1 ✓

Spiderman shouldn’t be seen with cops

It lets the public know he’s supportive of the law and a friend to the police.

Not always a good thing. People trust Spidey, not cops

I read you. We’ll talk more about this later.


Can I have a ride to Ganke’s?
Thank you for asking
How else would I get there
You know how
Santa is shopping for your Christmas gift
What kind of tablet did you want again
Oh my god
Tell Santa he can ask me himself
I want the chiron 2000-md3
The black one
Miles this is like $400
You have sent an image
that one
It’s a no from santa
I’m not asking santa cause he’s not real
i’m asking my dad because i did my end of the deal
Im only doing spidey stuff on wkds and mom says im good on the first aid stuff and instructor chloe said im improving and my mural is getting featured at the school holiday bazaar
And my grades are still good
Please dad
OK, will discuss it with your mother
You doing OK Miles?
It was a year ago
Yeah I’m ok
I miss him too son. You ever want to talk, I'm here
I think I might have some of his old sketchbooks in the attic
It’s ok dad
He’d be glad I’m still doing art
He was real proud of you for studying it in school too
It was something he wanted to do but never got to
Really? he never told me that
It was a long time ago. You want to talk about him and go over that stuff in the attic, we can
I’ll be home soon














Twitter Moments
Mourners gather in Washington Square Park to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Peter Parker’s death. See Spider-Man’s best moments and headlines here: 1:37 PM - 11 Dec 2019 936 5k 13k

Peter Parker’s Yahrzeit Honored With Special Issue of Science Journal
by Benjamin Wiesel for The Jewish Press
December 13, 2019 | 9:43 AM EST

Arlan ben-Gonen z''l, better known as Peter Parker to his community and as "Spider-Man" to New York, was earning his Ph.D. in biochemistry at Empire State University before his tragic death a year ago. Per his wishes, his academic team has shared his doctorate research in his name and Empire State University has posthumously awarded his Ph.D, claiming the extraordinary efforts he contributed to the fields of biochemistry and even physics. This week, the Brooklyn Journal of Science and Medicine is releasing a special issue detailing his achievements, guest-edited by Dr. Anya Montes…

Photos: Anniversary Memorial to Peter Parker at Washington Square
by Janica Daniels
December 13, 2019 | 5:03 PM EST
Photography by Gregory Everic

On the anniversary of Peter Parker's death, locals have gathered in Washington Square Park to honor the anniversary of Spider-Man. Peter Parker, known to New Yorkers as the masked vigilante for ten years, was buried in a private location, but a public memorial was erected in September for mourners and fans to celebrate his life and deeds. Have a look at some of the notes of remembrance people have left at his gravesite: from letters of thanks to Spidey merchandise, to gifts and donations of food from local restaurants Parker claimed to love…

When good men die young there’s no justice on earth. But you did your best to help us knowing you might leave us because of it. I hope you’re resting easy brother.


You could’ve left to join the Avengers once you got big, but to you helping the people next door was always most important. It makes no sense that New York is still here and you’re not. Thank you for staying with us until the end.

Five years ago you inspired me to go back into gymnastics after breaking my hip. Last month I signed on to coach the Olympics team in 2024. I’ll never swing again but I’ll get to see kids growing up like you. I’ll get to help them achieve their dreams. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

They always say you should never meet your heroes, but you saved my life twice: once on a bridge, and two nights later when you came back to check in. You ordered me Thai and we talked about the Red Sox. My cat loved you. I loved you. Nobody will ever replace you in our hearts. - Lisa




I worked on Wall Street for 44 years up until I quit ten months ago. I was one of the assholes responsible for the 80’s Queens housing crisis when you would’ve been growing up. If you knew my name you would’ve hated me. I don’t believe in karma but it feels wrong that you’re gone when you did more good for the city in 10 years than I’ve done in 70. I wish I’d met you in life. But you are still changing us for the better, even after you’re gone. I hope there’s comfort in that.

Bob Francis

Gracias por todo mi amigo.


Thank you for showing everyone the meaning of tikkun olam and what a difference one soul can make. You chose to do good and we all became better for it. Thank you from New York, thank you from the World.

You treated us well bro. We’ll take care of the kid for you.

Peter, You saved my father from a subway collision in ‘09. He was paraplegic from that crash but he always loved you. We read all your comics and followed you on the news. You brought him such happiness in what were the hardest years of his life. Dad passed away last year too. I hope you’re reunited now so he can tell you how much he loves you in person. Jared D

Dear Mr Parker,

We miss you! We met the new SpiderMan. He’s so great too. Mom liked you because you made her laugh. You saved her before we were born. We will never forget you.

Simon & Melody, ages 5

You were a friend, a lover, a next door neighbor, and the best of all of us. Why did you have to go?


Look at all the love you brought out of us! You’ve brought this city closer together. You wouldn’t want people upset so I hope you can see us having a good time here. We feel your spirit with us tonight. You will never be gone from our hearts and this city will always be with you wherever you are.

The new Spider-Man reminds me how young you were when you first started. I hope you got the chance to meet him before you left us. If you did, then at least you’re resting easy knowing this city is in good hands. From every life you’ve saved, everybody who's day you made, every person whose life you touched: Thank you.
Melodie Sinclair

“My hometown New York also has a big heart. It doesn’t like to see itself in that way, but we do come together when need be, often in moments of crisis.” - Anthony Bourdain

Goodbye Peter. New York loves you and will always love you.

Thank you for all that you’ve done, and all that you would have done, just for us. Still beloved and dearly missed. Kate Wixted


Thank you for that night. I didn’t know what I needed, but you seemed to. It was like you had everything figured out and I was just fumbling in the dark. For a long time I thought you made the wrong choice believing in me. Things aren’t always easy. I’m still trying to live up to you, but it’s getting easier. I’m not alone now. I think you would’ve liked my friends.

I think we could’ve been friends too. I’m sorry we never got the chance.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. So much has changed in a year, but a lot is still the same. I’m trying to do you proud. I think I’ve held up okay so far. You proved there is light in everyone, and it’s time for the rest of us to carry on your good work.

Thanks for everything. You’re with us, and we’re with you.

(Spider )

TEAM (Spider )

Happy Holidays everyone!
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
happy holidays!
doing anything special?
We were gonna go visit my cousins in florida but mami got sick so I think dad wants a quiet holiday and he’s gonna cook
I think he’s relieved, he doesnt like to fly
Peni (Sparkles )
aww is your mom ok?
Yeah it’s the flu. I think she just got unlucky and her flu shot didnt cover the strain that she got exposed to
She’s got a lot better today and yesterday but not good enough to travel so we'll be here
Anybody doing anything?
P.B. Parker (Eyeglasses ≊ Glasses)
I take the mask off every December. Spend some time with the neighbors and people that matter. PBP
Peter (Raised Fist )
Quiet holiday season here. Moved in with MJ last week so I’ve been busy.
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
that’s not quiet!!! that’s big news!!
Peter (Raised Fist )
Small steps. She invited me back a few months ago but I didn’t want to rush things
also cause she’s got a cat now
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
you say that like it’s a bad thing??
Peter (Raised Fist )
I’ve never lived with a cat before. I like them but I like them when they go home to someone else
Peni (Sparkles )
pix! pix! pix!
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
awwww how is it
Ive never had a pet cause dad’s allergic to all types of fur but i want one when i move out
Peter (Raised Fist )
I don’t hate it.
work your way up to real dad by embracing Cat Dad lifestyle first
Peter (Raised Fist )
Dont even joke, kid
Gwen (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)
lol. does it hate you
Peter (Raised Fist )
he loves me actually, it’s infuriating. MJ is smug about it
Orange beast
Peni (Sparkles )
are we doing anything tonight?
Mrs Parker invited me and my parents to dinner
Dad was like trying to out-polite her and offered her to come over instead, but she insisted lol
But mom’s sick and dad’s taking care of her so i think i’m just gonna go
Peter (Raised Fist )
Have fun. Tell her I said hi


You jerk ತಎತ
Tell her yourself
(Winking Face )


Need help with those doohickeys Pen? (Pig Nose )
Nah, it’s ok, Miguel and I are good!
Thanks for being our guinea pig (Slightly Smiling Face )
Better than being a lab rat! (Pig Nose )

May Parker

Hi it's Miles. I just got off the train, I’ll be there in a few min!
I’m in the kitchen. The door’s unlocked, so just come on in (Slightly Smiling Face )

Gwen Stacy

is he there?
Yup, he’s here
thanks for everything mrs p!!!

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

hey does may have a few extra seats?
you mean like to borrow?
no i mean like at her table

Miles frowned.

“Did you lock the door behind you?” May asked beside him. Her sleeves were rolled to the elbows. She was peeling potatoes like the professional cooks that Mamá watched on Chef Channel, all precision and speed, with long, spiraling skins dripping into the wastebin between her knees.

“Yes,” Miles said cautiously. “Should I not have?”

GWEN (Multiple Musical Notes ≊ Musical Notes)

open the dooooooooooooorrrrrrr

May jerked her head to the door without looking up.

Feeling vaguely as though he was being set up for the punchline of an elaborate prank, Miles dumped the first batch of potatoes in, rinsed and dried his hands, and then wiggled past May into the foyer. It was dark outside, and May’s new door had taller windows, so he couldn’t see the figures on the other side until he opened the door. “Holy shi — ”

“Language,” Peter said, stepping past him into the newly refurbished living room. He clapped Miles on the back as he passed. “This looks great, May,” he called. “Amazing what insurance will do when it comes through, hm?”

“Shoes!” May yelled back from the kitchen.

Peter obligingly ducked back and shucked his off. He looked better than the last time Miles had seen him face-to-face: clean-shaven, wearing a button down and dark jeans. Gwen and Peni followed behind him. Gwen winked at him: she had a new haircut cropped at her chin, and a nosering — wow his dad would’ve killed him if he ever did anything like that —

Peni threw her arms around him. “Hey Miles!”

“Hey, Pen.” Miles returned the hug. “You gotten shorter?”

She wiggled out of the embrace and shoved a hand at his chest — the highest place she could reach without getting on her toes. “You’re just freakishly tall now.”

“It’s called puberty.” Miles squinted at her. She looked different. “You look diff — ”

“Cause I am different,” she responded. “Remember when I said to jump safely we had to rewrite our cellular makeup to the universe we were visiting? This is me adapting to your universe. If you ever came to mine, you’d have to do the same thing.”

“Coats,” Peter called from the hallway closet, holding a hand out. Peni and Gwen slipped out of theirs and went to hang them up, making way for the last guest waiting patiently on the doorstep.

“Miles.” Noir removed his hat and hug it on a rack near the door, tipping his head politely as he crossed the threshold. He was still dressed in black and grays, but his face was uncovered. He had a thin face, with trim, jet black hair and circular glasses that reflected the light. If it weren't for the pale color of his skin, Miles wouldn’t have noticed a difference at all.

“Hey man.”

“Apologies for startling you. The others thought it would be funny.”

Miles grinned and closed the door behind him. “No worries. I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“You’re recovered from that fire over the summer?”

Miles blinked. “Yeah — yeah, that was a while ago. Peter was right, I just needed a week to get back on my feet.”

Noir exhaled. “Good,” he said, and Miles had the faint impression that Noir had been worried for him. Those glasses turned their attention back to him, reflecting his image; it was like staring straight at an owl. “I’m glad you made it out safe.”

Miles suddenly felt very humble. “Thank Peter. He saved me.”

“What happened to the arsonist?”

“Oh — he was arrested. It was some old landowner. He was trying to recreate the old Brooklyn fires in the ‘80s. People used to do it for like, tax cuts, and to protest rent increases.” Miles squirmed. “I did a lot of research on those fires after. The building wasn’t up to code… he nearly got away with it.”

Noir’s brows narrowed minutely. “And the charity? At the hospital?”

“The charity organizer was arrested too. She was like, old money, the arsonist was her great-uncle or something. She got caught on bringing armed guards to a hospital or something, but then they also got her for obstruction of justice because she hired them specifically to stop Spider-Man from helping citizens?” Miles frowned. “I don’t remember. My dad told me not to get involved in that. But he was surprised the jury ruled against her ‘cause it means they recognize Spider-Man is… a benevolent vigilante, or an agent of justice, or something. I don’t really remember, but that’s… good, so…”

Noir’s hand found his shoulder and squeezed. Miles waited for him to say something else, but he just glided right past him into the hallway, where he removed his coat and joined the others in the dining room.

Peter and Peni were setting the table, with a familiar figure lounging on it sideways —

“Ham, this is where we eat,” Gwen snapped. “Get your hooves off the table. Unless you want to join the dinner, I could find an apple to put in your mouth — ”

“Thin ice, sister. Don’t make threats you won’t keep." But Ham obliged and hopped up down into a seat, shaking himself. "Hey, Miles.”

Miles waved and nudged past the others to rejoin May in the kitchen, only to stop short once again. “You,” he said intelligently to the man dumping chicken into the curry.

“Me,” Miguel said. He was wearing a leather jacket and reflective shades were dangling from the collar of his shirt. “‘Stoy bien chamaco?”

“Claro… ¿cuándo llegaste aquí?”

“Ahora. Primero ayudé a Peter.”

“Why do I always get the feeling they’re talking about me,” Peter said loudly from the dining room.

“Probably a safe bet,” Gwen said.

“Do you need any more help, Mrs. Parker?” Miles asked.

“I’m fine, honey. Actually, scratch that. Could you start the rice?”

“I got it,” Peni called from across the kitchen. Miles joined her. She looked like she was having trouble with the buttons. “I got it Miles. Oh — I see now. Wow, you guys desperately need better rice cookers. You don’t get good ones in America until like, the 2400s.”

A tingling jolt of alarm alerted Miles to a small hole split between the counter and tiles on May’s kitchen wall. Pinpricks tickling his senses, his focus zeroed in: anything could come out of that crack, a crawling tentacle, seeping poisonous gas, and something was moving inside there in the dark — he moved Peni aside and he leaned forward —

A spider poked out.

“Hey there,” Peni greeted. She stuck her finger out to the tile, and SP//dr obligingly crawled aboard, climbing up to settle in her breast pocket. “Off catching some good ants?” She glanced at Miles. “Was that your sense acting up?”

“Still getting used to it,” he muttered, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

She patted his arm. “You’ll get there. C’mon.”

They joined the others at the table as they waited for the curry to cook, squeezing around the tiny table with mismatched chairs stolen from around the house. At the center of the table, a bowl of chocolates that had been filled at the start of the evening — and Miles knew, because he had done the filling — was now empty. Slightly regretful he hadn’t taken a few more before everyone joined them, Miles took one of the only few open seats between Peter and Gwen.

Gwen nudged him and beneath the table, her palm opened to reveal a handful of chocolates. Miles grinned and took a few.

“Two hundred fifty-seven,” Miguel was saying to Noir. Miguel fiddled with some gadget on his wrist. “By my last count. But the network’s always growing.”

Noir still cut an imposing figure at the end of the table, even without his mask and hat to add to the effect. He was observing Miguel’s goober with the same fascination he used to direct at May’s old Rubix Cube. “And this gizmo can get to all of them?”

“Well, the ones we know of. This can get you to everyone here, and me, at least.” Miguel scrubbed at an eye and cracked his neck. “Anyone else who wants to join the clubhouse needs to go through Lyla. The problem is that it’s literally infinite, like, that’s the whole point. You can’t map for infinity. Or if you can it’s beyond me. Maybe the runt can help, she’s further out in the future than I am.”

“Do not call me that!”

“What is this?” Miles asked Peter.

“How many universes they’ve discovered. With, uh — ” Peter had one elbow resting against the back of his chair; he waved his hand vaguely. “Us, in some form or another. Also” — Peter tapped Miles’s shoulder with a finger, which Miles thought was a little extra, since he was already looking straight at him — “MJ wants to know if you’ll catsit while we’re on vacation for the holidays. We’re going to London for two weeks.”

Miles blinked. “What?”

Peter scratched the back of his head. “Between you and me, she wants an excuse to meet you. All right?”

He was strangely touched, but: “I’ve never catsit before. I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Fine, kid, shoot me down.”

Miles was struck by sudden guilt. “I mean I can, I like cats, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’d probably kill it by accident, so, y’know…”

Peter laughed. “All right, we’ll find something else. You know you’re welcome anytime.”

“Speaking of.”

A jolt of alarm, a flash of movement —

Miles caught whatever Miguel had tossed to him, as if on cue. It looked like a strange, futuristic watch.

“Guard that thing with your life,” Miguel warned him. “In this universe it’s worth more than all of Fisk and Stark’s joint savings.”

“No throwing things in my dining room,” May said from the head of the table, not looking up from her magazine.

“Thanks,” Miles said quietly, feeling strangely subdued. Peter startled beside him.

“Thanks for what?”

“I dunno. Just feels like I should say thank you.”

Something in Peter’s face softened. Miles got the sense that he was thinking very carefully about what he was about to say.

“Wrong way round,” Peter said eventually, smiling. “We owe all this to you, kid.”