Chapter 1: Conversations and Deep Thoughts
There was a knock at the door just as Benny grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
“Jody,” he said in some surprise when he opened it to see her standing there. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, taking in the fact that she was still in her uniform.
She hooked her thumbs in her belt loops. “Well, howdy Benny. Is Alfie in?”
“Nope. He’s over at Missouri’s,” Benny said. He stepped back and gestured into the apartment. “But he should be home in a bit. What’s going on?”
She took his invitation and followed him inside. “Well, I just got a call from one Rufus Turner – who is an ornery old coot, I’ll tell ya – “
Benny laughed and nodded. “He is that but… he was also invaluable this summer.”
“So I hear,” She said dryly. “Looks like you boys had a bit of excitement. Rufus wants me to follow up with Alfie about a few things for his case. Apparently, our boy is dead center of it. I’ll save those questions for when he gets back though.” She perched against his counter as he sat on one of the stools there and sipped his beer. “Why don’t you tell me what happened? I’ve got a feeling Rufus left out a few things.”
“Well, ain’t much to tell. Alfie’s brothers found him and harassed us a couple of times. Some vandalism of property too, before they resorted to an all out attack – I think they were planning on kidnapping him.” Benny’s hands clenched tight at the thought. Even though it was over, it still made his stomach uneasy. “We caught them, stopped them with a bit of help and then we found out Alfie’s not even related to them which, hell, I ain’t looking at that as a bad thing at all.”
She nodded. “I can’t say that I blame ya. People like that?” She shook her head commiseratingly. “We’re all just better off without them.”
He took a deep breath. He’d been thinking about this ever since they found out, through the whole ride home, and over the last two weeks. He’s felt guilty as hell and had been debating bringing it up with Jody the entire time but… it was also over and done with, and he couldn’t change the past. Still… it had happened, and Benny felt awful about it and now she was here talking about the very thing that had been weighing on his mind.
Honestly, he was surprised she hadn’t come by sooner. He wasn’t sure whether to thank Rufus or curse him.
“Jody, he was a missing person and we never even knew. How is that possible? You ever think about how… how we kept him from his real family?” Benny’s words were low but rough, his accent thick, as he asked the questions that had been burning in him since they found out. Was this his fault?
“You’re feeling all sorts of guilty over that, aren’t ya?” she asked shrewdly.
“Well, yeah,” Benny said, blinking. “Wouldn’t anyone?”
“Look, Benny, we never ran his prints because he wasn’t a criminal. And with the documentation he’d stolen before he ran away, well, we never had cause to suspect it. Simple as that. But hell, now that we know it’s faked, that opens up a whole other can of worms, don’t it? Like who do they know that can just get fake birth certificates and social security numbers so easily? I suspect that’s something else Rufus is gonna wanna follow up on. I know I would,” Jody said.
“I know you’re right but… I still feel like I’ve kept him from his family. They could be good people. Now he’s… you know he’s scared?” Benny asked her, taking another swig of his beer. “He doesn’t even know if he wants to meet them. I can’t imagine being them right now. Not only losing your child and never knowing what happened to him, but then finding out he’s alive and well and… he ain’t even tried to contact them and they gotta know that he knows the truth by now. It’s gotta hurt somethin’ awful.”
“Don’t go down that road, Benny. This ain’t on you or us. We did what we did to keep him out of the system and to keep him safe. And there wasn’t any other reason to run his prints. We couldn’t have known this was likely. In fact,” Jody chuckled, shaking her head. “by normal standards, it’s not. It’s more like a soap opera than real life.”
Benny barked out a laugh and wiped at his face with one hand. It was a pretty on point way to describe the events of that summer, that was sure.
Her lips twitched at his amusement. “So of course, you boys get to be the stars in your very own show.”
“Well, you know me, I just love drama,” Benny drawled wryly. He sighed, the smile falling away. “I just hope he don’t regret not finding his family sooner if he finally gets the courage to talk to them and they turn out to be good people.”
“You’re going to encourage him to meet them, aren’t ya?” she asked.
“Of course. Family is important.” Benny swallowed past the ache he still held after all this time. He had no family left, and he supposed that was part of the reason why he hoped so badly for Alfie to get this reconciliation, even if being alone in the world was part of what had drawn them together to begin with.
“You can still say that, even after - ?” Jody let the question trail off. She didn’t have to finish. Everyone in town knew what had happened, except the folks who’d moved in after. Like Alfie, but Benny hadn’t kept any secrets from him and Alfie was well aware of what had gone down.
Benny nodded. “I miss my brother every damn day, despite what he’d done. It was the only thing he’d ever done that was so…” Benny floundered for a proper word. “Selfish? Anyways, the fault ain’t all on him. Takes two to cheat,” he shrugged. “Andrea was just as complicit. And I dunno, maybe I drove her to it.”
She looked at him sympathetically. “You’ve a good heart Benny, and very forgiving.”
“I don’t know about that,” Benny said, downing the last of the beer and turning away to toss the bottle into the recycling bin. “But I try not to let it bog me down. Carrying that baggage could hurt what I have with Alfie. I trust him, and I don’t need my past bad blood coming back to ruin that.”
“So, if Andrea showed up tomorrow?” her eyebrows rose.
“I don’t want nothin’ to do with her. I’ll wish her well and walk away. Maybe I’ve forgiven her, as I have Eli, but seein’ her would bring up nothing but bad memories I don’t need. I’ve moved on, and I’m happy now and I think…” Benny shrugged. “Well, like I said. Maybe I drove her to it. I loved Andrea, but I never loved her the way I do Alfie. There was something missing there that I never realized was missing till I found him but maybe… maybe she knew it all along. If she saw a different path to happiness, then I can’t blame her for taking it – only at how she did it.”
Jody shook her head again. “Like I said, Benny. You’ve got a good heart.”
“You also said I live in a soap opera and you’re right about that too. Can’t get much more soap opera than a love triangle with your own evil twin. Now all that needs to happen is we find out he never really died, but has been living a second life somewhere with amnesia.”
Jody shook her head. “Jesus, Benny. And I thought my humor was morbid.” Whatever else she was going to say was stalled when the door opened and Alfie walked through.
He paused, just as surprised to see Jody in their apartment - and in her uniform, no less – as Benny had been when he’d answered her knock. Not that Jody was a stranger to their lives, but she’d made it a point over the years not to show up to their place in uniform, ever. The diner, sure, but not their home.
Instantly, Benny could see Alfie was nervous. He crossed the room and took Alfie in his arms, giving him a gentle kiss. “Welcome back, cher. How was tea with Missouri?”
They never called them sessions. The meetings with Missouri may have started that way but they’d become something way more informal along the way as Alfie’s need for the sessions dwindled and he just enjoyed her company. Benny couldn’t blame him.
“It was good. Talked more about some of the things going on this summer. I hope you don’t mind?”
Benny knew what he was really asking. Alfie had already long since talked with Missouri about his parents and the revelation about his family, and he knew it was something that kept getting brought up every time they met as Alfie continued to hash out his feelings about it with her. That he was asking specifically, though, when Benny already knew all that? Then that meant it was about Dean and Cas and Benny. Benny wondered if he should get in on those talks, as he was as much in the dark on how to navigate a poly relationship as Alfie was.
“Its fine, cher.”
Jody cleared her throat behind them.
“I’m sorry to interrupt the domesticity here, but I am on official business. Now there’s nothing pressing at the station just now so there’s no rush but we should probably get a move on,” Jody noted. “And Alfie, don’t worry. You’re not in trouble. But I heard about what happened at the festival and I’ve been tasked to be liaison here in case Rufus has any more questions. Which, of course, the old coot does.”
Alfie chuckled, Jody’s matter of fact manner putting him almost instantly at ease. The fact that they knew her so well and she was genuinely a good person also helped.
“Of course. I don’t know how much more help I can actually be but… I suppose, if there’s something I can tell you, I’ll do what I can to make sure my broth –“ Alfie paused and closed his eyes. “Those men can’t do anything bad to anyone else.”
Benny went back into the kitchen to give the two some privacy but still remain where Alfie could see him, in case he needed him. It was an open concept room so he could still hear Jody and Alfie if he made the effort to, but instead, he went about heating up some soup he’d brought back from the diner and pulling out some bread he’d made that morning with dinner in mind.
Jody and Alfie talked quietly and Benny tried to keep one eye on them and one on what he was doing in case Alfie showed any signs of distress. He couldn’t blame his boyfriend one bit. Benny hadn’t had all that much exposure to the brothers Alfie had believed were his and he’d been stressed as it was.
He suspected his causes of stress were of slightly different natures but also figured they were rooted in the same fears.
Maybe he should make an appointment with Missouri. Even just for himself, one on one, so he could talk out the incidents and the fears that had risen, just so he could get it out without causing Alfie more stress than necessary. Being on call to help with the case probably wasn’t going to be easy on him and Benny wanted to make sure he was as strong as Alfie needed him to be.
Chapter 2: Magic Hands
A much needed foot massage leads to a heart to heart and other things.
So because I have a few chapters already built up, i'm having a hard time sitting on them though I KNOW I should.
Still, because you all are so awesome and i had such a favorable response yesterday, I'm gonna give in to my urge to put the next chapter up already. Thank you all for coming back to this! I hope it lives up to all your expectations. :D
Benny let out a long groan and Alfie smirked. He lay out on the couch and stretched, his feet holed up in Samandriel’s lap. Samandriel dug a thumb into his arch and Benny groaned again.
“Damn cher, you got magic hands.”
“I think you need new shoes,” Samandriel countered.
“Mmm…” Benny’s eyes closed in obvious bliss as Samandriel massaged his feet. “Maybe so...but when you’re on your feet 16 hours there’s only so much even a good pair of shoes can do.”
“Then maybe you work too hard.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when one of your cooks up and quits. At least he didn’t do it during our vacation,” Benny rumbled. “Hmm…. Just there, cher.”
“I never liked that Cuthbert guy,” Samandriel noted absently, concentrating on flexing his fingers just so, and beaming when he was rewarded with a sinfully long, drawn out moan.
Benny’s phone dinged from the battered coffee table beside them and he lazily groped for it. His fingers fumbled and he almost dropped it on his chest before he caught it. Samandriel smiled as he watched his tired boyfriend open his eyes just enough to squint at the text before he snorted.
“Cas drag you into his argument with Dean yet?” Benny asked, turning the phone so Samandriel could see the picture of Dean huddling near a box of tissues. The four men had kept in regular contact since the festival, exchanging at first just their phone numbers and then opening it up to email, Skype and even Facebook. That past month and a half had been a flurry of communications between them – sometimes involving all of them, and sometimes not – as they got to know each other and Samandriel, at least, was feeling hopeful about the upcoming move.
Mostly, anyway. He had his worries too, though he still hadn’t had the guts to speak them aloud yet.
Soon, he promised himself. He’d do it soon.
“About the cat?” Samandriel chuckled. “Oh yeah. That kitten is cute as anything but he wants me to weigh in on convincing Dean they should keep it.”
“Heh. Well Dean’s trying to get me to side with him. Jesus... the two of them. Like this is the best time to even get a pet when they’re packing up for the move.”
“To be fair, I don’t think they’d been intending on getting a pet. Think Cas said someone had abandoned the poor little thing in the parking lot by his work and he took it home,” Samandriel pointed out.
“I suppose,” Benny conceded. His fingers flew over the phone and dropped it back on the table a few seconds later. He stretched out languidly, groaning again when Samandriel’s fingers dug into his ankle and made their way up his shin and his calf before switching sides. “God… Magic. Hands.”
Samandriel grinned down at him. The touches turned soft and his eyes burned brightly, making Benny’s breath hitch at the sudden heat. Despite Benny’s evident exhaustion, Samandriel could see his cock twitching to life.
“The things you do to me, cher,” Benny breathed out and Samandriel preened at the praise, at knowing Benny simply couldn’t resist him.
The feeling was mutual.
Lips joined his hands, trailing soft kisses up Benny’s bare leg. Samandriel couldn’t help the snicker when his head reached the tent in Benny’s boxers, the fabric already wet and straining hard.
Benny groaned, his muscles flexing under Samandriel’s hands deliciously. “What? I told ya, cher, magic hands.”
“If you think my hands are magic, then what about my mouth?” Samandriel asked cheekily, mouthing at Benny through his boxers.
“Sin. Definitely sin,” Benny gasped, hips shifting to thrust upwards.
“Sshh…” Samandriel said, his hands coming around Benny’s hips to press him back down to the couch. “You’ve had a long, tiring day. You just stay there and let me…” He grasped the boxers with his teeth and pulled them down just far enough for Benny’s cock to spring free, already hard and leaking, a state the boxers had been completely unable to hide. He grinned at the sight, how eager Benny always was for him, and wasted no time in closing his lips around the already purpling head.
Moaning at the taste of Benny, Samandriel set to work. Alternating between light, teasing kisses and deep sucks, he swallowed Benny down, reveling in the cry of pleasure that was ripped from Benny’s lips. He slid back up again, dragging his mouth slowly along the hard line of Benny’s cock, then plunged down once more. Samandriel’s eyes closed with a hum around Benny, listening to the harsh breathing above him. His hands slid down to brace himself on Benny’s thighs and he felt the trembling muscles beneath his fingers as Benny restrained from thrusting up, for the simple reason that Samandriel told him not to.
The idea that he held that sort of power over Benny was both scary and intoxicating.
Samandriel whimpered as his own, hard and neglected dick throbbed in his own boxers, his eyes rolling back in his head even under closed lids as he thrust against the couch needily. He gasped around Benny for a second, then redoubled his efforts, his fingers flexing and gripping into Benny’s thighs tightly, his palms scraping along the hairy muscles.
“God, Alfie,” Benny groaned out. The cock in Samandriel’s mouth pulsed, shifted and hands fell to Samandriel’s head, tangling gently in his har. “Oh go-o-od.” The words were choked, Benny’s fingernails scratching into Samandriel’s scalp as his fingers convulsed and he came.
Samandriel swallowed it all, always proud when he did, and Benny dragged him up the length of his body, settling Samandriel firmly on top of him. Samandriel groaned at the pressure that put on his dick and he thrust against Benny.
“That’s it, cher, go on,” Benny urged him, both hands going down to knead Samandriel’s ass, shoving the boxers down out of his way, pulling Samandriel against him.
Samandriel surged forward, licking his way into Benny’s mouth, rolling his hips against Benny’s soft cock with Benny’s eager encouragement.
It didn’t take long before Samandriel spilled across their stomachs and in his partially shifted boxers, his body freezing as he came, Benny’s lips closed around the pulse on his neck.
He slumped down gracelessly, bonelessly, breathing hard into Benny’s chest. He giggled. Hell, they hadn’t even gotten completely undressed. They lay there together, catching their breaths, one of Benny’s big hands still rubbing at his ass, the other carding through his hair once more.
Smiling contentedly, Samandriel drifted lazily as he slipped a hand under Benny’s shirt and idly drew patterns over the hairy chest.
They lay that a long while, both of them dozing contentedly, when Samandriel’s eyes fell on Benny’s phone and his thoughts suddenly shifted to earlier that summer, with Cas and Dean. Benny most have noticed, because he broke the silence with gentle words.
“What’s on your mind, cher?” Benny asked.
“Do you miss them?” Samandriel avoided Benny’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Benny drawled out slowly, “Don’t you?”
Samandriel nodded slightly.
“C’mon, somethings worrying at ya. Talk to me, cher,” Benny insisted, dragging Samandriel’s face up to plant a kiss on his lips, short but sweet.
“You ain’t bored of this?” Samandriel looked up, biting his lip.
“What in the world do you mean?” Benny asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.
“I mean… after this summer with Dean and Cas, when you had three of us, and now there’s just me. Are you… are you bored now that they’re gone? Bored because I can’t… I can’t give you everything you like?”
“Cher, no, why would you think that? Any of it?” Benny asked, shifting to sit up. Samandriel scrambled back, but Benny held him close. “I’d think how quick and hard I just came would show you exactly how not bored I am.”
“Well, I guess,” Samandriel said, not meeting his eyes.
“I thought you’d been talking with Missouri about all this? I knew you were nervous, hell, I am too, but…” Benny trailed off and Samandriel flushed.
“I have but she can't tell me how you feel. She’s not a mind reader,” Samandriel pointed out.
“Not sure about that but,” Benny placed a finger under his chin and gently angled Samandriel’s face to look up at him. “Cher, I promise you, I ain’t bored. The thing with Dean and Cas? That’s for both of us. And if… if it winds up that after they move here, we figure out that we work better as friends and not lovers and it’s just us two, I’m not gonna feel cheated. I promise. I feel lucky to have you.”
Samandriel’s insecurities ate at him. It wasn’t like Benny didn’t understand. Because he did. It had taken him a long time to believe that Alfie wanted to be with him, and wouldn’t leave him. The whole thing that summer had taken them both by surprise. Given the things about Benny’s past that he’d confided in Samandriel, Benny should have felt hurt or jealous, and the fact that he hadn’t had shocked Samandriel – but he understood, too. Because the difference came in that all four of them had been in on it together. It had been an equal give and take, all above board and honest.
It was wholly different then what Andrea had done to him.
It was just as Cas had said. Communication was key. “I wish I could find the right words to reassure you, Alfie. I promise you, whatever happens with them, we’ll still be together. Only way you’re getting rid of me is you walk out on me.” Benny’s voice was filled in fearful pleading “You got nothing to worry about.”
Samandriel stared up at him with wet eyes that he hastily averted before wiping at them.
“I’m sorry. I’m being silly,” he sighed. He just wanted to curl up in Benny’s arms and forget all about his fears but that was the nature of fears, wasn’t it? To eat at you whether you wanted them to or not.
“No, don’t be sorry. I understand. I just wish I knew how to tell you that you didn’t have to worry. I wish… I wish I knew how to explain just how I feel about you,” Benny said. “Sayin’ I love you never feels like enough.”
“It feels like everything,” Samandriel breathed.
“You are everything, cher,” Benny said, kissing him slow and long. “C’mon. What say you and I hit the shower and then head to bed? Hmmm?”
“Yeah, okay bear,” Samandriel said, smiling softly.
Relief flooded Benny’s face and Samandriel relaxed. Despite the worries that plagued him, he knew in moments like these how much Benny really cared for him.
Together, they stood shucking off their now dirty boxers and pulling off their t-shirts. Samandriel giggled when Benny swept him into his arms to carry him into their bathroom, his bears easy strength always making him squirm with delight.
Love filled him as he looked up at Benny, who walked with easy, confident steps, his hands gripping Alfie firmly and yet somehow gentle. Samandriel twined his arms around Benny’s waist and his neck and closed his eyes, breathing deep.
It really wasn’t logical to expect that lightning could not only strike twice, but three times, right?
Was he being selfish to hope it did when he already had a wonderful boyfriend in Benny?
Chapter 3: A Little Bit of Reconnaissance
Benny's not sure what drew the town recluse out to the diner but, despite the gruff exterior, he seemed friendly enough and definitely enjoyed the food so Benny was counting it as a win.
Already debating on if this is going to get too long to keep it all as one story or if i should split it. what is WRONG with me?
in other news... (Feel free to ignore - personal ranting that has nothign to do with the fic)
i got a FEDERAL JUROR SUMMONS. because of course i did. i cannot afford to lose more money for bills i can't seem to pay... and each and every one of them is during the day, during the middle of the week, but spread out so they're not in the same week. so since i work nights, i get to go to work, go home, sleep for an hour, get up and drive for an hour to get to the place.
so a nice double whammy. no money and no sleep.
i'm going to be checking over my company's policies but if i recall the last time i did this (which was 2 days, and local and i didn't get picked) i think i was excused from work without penalty but i only got paid, like, 20 bucks total. Better than nothing but... so not good. Thankfully, after i go through their website questionnaire, there's an option to file for an excuse.
Wish me luck.
The bell over the door rang and Benny hurried out to greet the newest customer. Bobby Singer stood there, arms crossed over his chest and a glower peaking out from behind his beard and under his trucker hat. Benny almost faltered under the glare, not to mention the surprise of seeing Mr. Singer out and about. He was the grumpy old curmudgeon that owned the salvage yard at the edge of town.
“Mr. Singer! Welcome! What can I get for ya?” Benny asked, cheerful despite the narrow gaze.
Bobby grunted and moved forward to pick a stool at the counter. “Coffee and a menu, boy.”
“Coming right up,” Benny said with a nod. He got Bobby squared away with the coffee and his menu just as the bell rang again and Alfie came in, looking a little worn.
Checking to make sure Bobby was busy with the menu, Benny quickly stepped over to embrace Alfie. “Hey cher, rough day with Missouri?”
“Yeah, just a bit.” Alfie buried his face in Benny’s apron a moment before lifting his head for a kiss. Benny easily and happily obliged him, though he was worried as he felt how tightly Alfie held on to him.
After a few moments of blissful silence – thankfully, nobody seemed to need Benny just at that moment – Benny reluctantly pulled away. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll bring you something to warm you up and soothe you.”
“Okay,” Alfie said quietly.
When Benny returned with a large bowl of his famous gumbo, he found Alfie and Bobby sitting side by side. Alfie was hunched in on himself a bit, making sure he didn’t brush up against anyone accidentally. It had been one of those days again. Alfie needed something to distract his mind, which was likely going a mile a minute and spiraling into guilty feelings.
Placing the bowl of gumbo before Alfie and presenting the bread with a flourish, Benny said, “Hear ya go. An’ ya better eat it all, or you’ll hurt my feelings.”
Alfie giggled and Benny felt something lighten in his chest. “Oh, and here, Cas sent me this earlier. Think he may have won the kitten debate.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, thumbed it on and scrolled to the photo of Dean asleep on the couch with the kitten curled up on his chest and his hand placed over it protectively. He turned it around for Alfie to see and watched him melt.
“Oh bear, he’s adorable,” Alfie cooed, reaching out for the phone.
“Which one, Dean or the kitten?” Benny joked.
“Both,” Alfie laughed.
“I bet Dean’s the type of person to grump and harrumph about the kitten, but it’s secretly his new best friend,” Benny said.
“No bet,” Alfie laughed again. “Cause I think you’re right.”
Relieved to see Alfie laughing, Benny took his phone back and leaned over to give him a kiss. “All right now, you eat up, while I see if anyone here needs anything.”
Alfie nodded, obediently picking up his spoon even as Benny leaned back. He glanced up and down the counter, plenty of empty seats abounding but he knew why Alfie had picked this spot. For one, he could see through the swinging doors and get peeks of Benny working inside. For two, whenever he came it was his spot, and he only changed that when forced too. That said, the only person at the counter not currently occupied with food, was Bobby.
“You decide on anything yet, Mr. Singer?”
“Call me Bobby, boy. And I think I’ll have what he’s having. Smells purty good.” Bobby jerked his head towards Alfie, the gruff voice not all that unkindly, from what Benny could tell. He didn’t know Bobby well at all – didn’t know if anyone in town actually did, recluse that he was – but something about his manner was familiar.
Benny broke into a grin. “Well sir, you’re in for a treat. I’ll bring that right out for ya.”
Once Bobby was set up with his own fresh bowl, Benny left them both to their gumbo and stepped back into the kitchen, poking his head out every once in a while to check the counter. When Alfie’s spoon clanked down into the empty bowl, he popped back out to grab it.
“You want more, cher?”
Another spoon clanked down beside them. “I think I will,” said Bobby.
Benny grinned at him. “Coming right up.” He looked back at Alfie who shook his head.
“No, I’m good. How come you’re working the counter today, Benny?”
“Ah, Kaia called in sick. I got Claire out there,” Benny nodded out towards the dining area proper as he picked up Alfie’s bowl and Bobby’s, stacking them inside each other. “Andy on clean up and prep, and Julian’s in the kitchen. Not too busy so I’m splitting kitchen duties and counter. It’s all good.”
He disappeared back into the kitchen before Alfie could protest, dropping the bowls off at the sink before dishing out a new one for Bobby.
When he returned, Alfie had left his seat and walked behind the counter. He grabbed the bowl from Benny’s protesting hands and smiled at him.
“I told you, you work too hard, Benny,” Alfie said.
“Another one,” Bobby muttered.
“I’m fine, cher,” Benny protested. “You should relax.”
“Bear, let me help. I feel better when I’m keeping busy and you could use it,” Alfie pointed out.
Benny sighed. “If you’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Now let go of the gumbo before it gets too cold for Mr. Singer to enjoy,” Alfie said with a soft smile.
“It’s Bobby, ya idjits,” Bobby groused a little louder this time.
Letting go of the bowl, Benny watched Alfie place it before Bobby with a fond look. Shaking his head, he turned to go back through the swinging doors when Bobby stopped him.
“So how come this place ain’t 24 hour?”
“Ah, well, aside from the lack of manpower, I don’t think I’d get enough overnight business to warrant staying open all night,” Benny said, blinking at the sudden question.
Bobby grunted. “I think ya should. Might surprise ya.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bobby,” Benny said a chuckle. “But I don’t think I should be pitting myself against the Roadhouse anyhow. It’s a pretty popular spot.”
“Maybe so,” Bobby acknowledged. “But it’s also noisy as hell, and sometimes, a body just wants to eat a meal in peace and quiet and not have to listen to whatever newfangled live show Ellen’s got going on out there. If you’re worried about stealin’ her custom, don’t be. The two of you are opposite sides of a coin. And unless you plan on adding in live music and alcohol, I don’t think either of you have anything to be worried about.”
“Well, I’m still not convinced I can afford to stay open but I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks, Bobby,” Benny said. This time he made his escape back into the kitchen where he truly felt happiest. He was proud of the whole damn shebang, and of course in the early days (and years) he was almost a one man show for a while, but the kitchen was where it was at.
If he did open the place as a 24 hour as Bobby suggested, it would likely require a return to that. When it was just him, it was one thing but with Alfie… how was it fair to Alfie to leave him alone so much? Not to mention how deprived Benny would feel without being able to have his time with Alfie.
If it had a chance of working at all – without putting a strain on their relationship, especially right now when Alfie still hadn’t decided what to do about his parents and things were in flux with Dean and Cas – Benny would need more employees. He was already shorthanded after his last cook quit, and he’d had an ad out in the paper for the last two weeks with no bites.
He shook his head.
Being 24 hour would be nice but circumstances would need to change before that could happen.
Chapter 4: Sometimes, It Takes a Little Convincing
Cas tries to convince Dean to keep the kitten and has a heart to heart with Alfie about his real parents.
This was the one I was working on over Christmas Break when i went to visit my mom. like 3 chapters after this were already written but i still needed something here and i had an epiphany, wrote this and then PROMPTLY LOST EVERY SINGLE WORD of this chapter.
I discovered that a few days later on New Years and wanted to cry so bad. THe wording is different now, but i still hit all the same points and it's even longer than the original. but you know that nagging feeling when you're certain the thing you lost was better? Yeah, i keep getting that. *sigh*
Castiel sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his back against the couch, watching the tiny bit of floof tumbling about the floor. All around them were packed and partially packed boxes while behind him, laying on the couch, Dean sniffled.
“Allergy meds aren’t helping,” he complained, sniffling again. “Are you sure one of your coworkers can’t take it?”
“Her. And your allergy meds need more time to get into your system. And no. I wouldn’t trust them with a spider plant much less a kitten,” Castiel said absently.
Dean sneezed again glaring at the fluffy black kitten. “What about a rescue shelter?”
Horrified, Castiel snatched up the kitten and curled around her protectively. “You would be signing her death warrant, Dean!”
“What? Pshaw... A little dramatic there, don’t ya think?” Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel and Castiel squinted back. “No. A no kill center of course. I’m not a monster.”
“Dean, I already called the centers. They all advised me that black cats are the hardest to adopt out... Especially safely.”
“C’mon, man... They’re trying to guilt you into keeping the thing,” Dean protested with another sneeze.
“No. I thought of that and did my own research. The statistics are...” Cas shuddered. “She’s so sweet and just deserves to be loved Dean.” He stared at Dean as mournfully as he could and Dean sighed.
“Babe. We can’t take in every stray that we find.”
“I know. And I’m not proposing that we do... But she’s already here. And just... Look at her.” Cas held up the kitten, emulating Rafiki with baby Simba, certain that a movie reference would at least make Dean laugh. “I’ll even let you name her...”
“God, Cas. No. I know what you're trying to do here. And no. Bribery will not work! It ain’t gonna work, babe,” Dean insisted, sitting up on the couch, his leg knocking against Cas’s kneed. The kitten barreled over to them, pouncing on Dean’s toes and a chuckle rolled through his body and rumbled against Castiel who smirked.
Dean doth protested too much. Especially after he’d been caught sleeping with the kitten on his chest.
“Of course not, I wouldn’t dream of bribing you, Dean,” Castiel said, catching Dean affecting a frown and trying to pretend he hadn’t just found the kitten cute.
“I know what you’re doing.” Dean said, pointing at him with narrowed eyes.
“Me?” Castiel asked innocently.
A warbling sound came from across the room and interrupted Dean before he could speak, his mouth closing as Castiel stood, making his way over to his desk. He leaned over the desk and tapped at the laptop, answering the call. Within seconds, Alfie’s face was blooming on the screen.
“Hello, Alfie,” Castiel said with a smile.
“Hey, Cas,” Alfie smiled back. It was a small smile, not the usual beaming grin Castiel had gotten used to seeing, and it filled Castiel with worry.
Hands wrapped around him and a chin hooked over his shoulder and Castiel shifted, giving Dean space to lean in to be seen by Alfie.
“Hey Alfie. I’m gonna let you guys talk. I gotta start dinner,” Dean explained before gently pressing a kiss to Castiel’s temple and taking off. Castiel watched him go with an adoring smile before he turned back to the computer, settling himself down in the chair.
Taking a long look at Alfie, noting the tiredness of his eyes, the tension in his shoulders hunched together too much, Castiel leaned forward.
“Are you all right? What’s wrong?”
“How do you always know?” Alfie asked, his eyebrows flying up before he sighed. “It’s… it’s about my parents. I still don’t know what to do and I’m… I’m scared. It’s stupid, I know it is, but I am and – “
Castiel held up a hand. “It’s perfectly reasonable to be scared.”
“I dunno,” Alfie looked away, then down before finally shrugging and looking at Castiel once more. “Maybe but… Everyone else seems to think I should be jumping at the chance but… It’s just… what if they can’t accept me as I am? What if they’re just as bad – or worse! – than the people I had thought were my family? I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
“Only you can truly answer that, Alfie. But your fears, your anxiety – they’re perfectly valid and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. As for what you should do, well, I can’t say what the right action here is. Myself, I know it would eat at me until I knew, one way or the other. What does Benny say?” Castiel asked. He knew Alfie had said everyone but… Castiel had no idea who everyone entailed, or what Benny might have said specifically.
“Benny thinks I should meet them. And he’s not the only one,” Alfie said, his shoulders drooping dejectedly. “But I dunno. I think it might be better not to. If I never meet them, then they can’t reject me and I can pretend that they’re exactly what I wished for all my life.”
“You could,” Castiel said slowly. “But don’t you think you owe it to yourself to find out and put the question to rest instead of letting it hang over your head for the rest of your life? To give closure – not just to you, but to your parents?”
“How do you mean?” Alfie said, looking up sharply.
“I just mean… and I can’t tell you what to do and I can’t say how it would go but just imagine – what if they are able to take you as you are? What if they are good people? And if they are, don’t they also deserve to get to know the son they thought lost? They’ve likely grieved all this time and you have a rare opportunity to put an end to that grief,” Castiel said. “But it’s not about an obligation to them either. Just imagine they are everything you hope for. If they love you, you deserve to have them in your life.”
“I think the worst part is just not knowing. If I were in your shoes, or theirs…” Castiel stopped, trailing off. He was trying not to guilt Alfie into it, it wouldn’t be right, but he also knew from experience how badly not knowing felt. And as afraid as Alfie was, his parents were likely just as afraid.
He knew he would be, given the opportunity.
Castiel had never stopped wondering what had happened to his older brother when he’d disappeared nearly a decade before their parents had done what they’d done to Castiel.
He’d wondered if his brother had been given the same treatment or if he’d run away just as Castiel had once planned. In either case – what had happened to him? Had he made it out safely? Was he even still alive?
Did he ever wonder about Castiel?
Had his brother ever tried to find him? Or had he abandoned Castiel to his fate? Had he realized what he was abandoning Castiel to? And if he had… was that a person Castiel wanted to know? No, he’d thought about it too often. They’d been young, powerless, and if Gabriel had left of his own volition, Castiel had been too young to take along with, being only ten.
And who knew the kind of guilt Gabriel might feel for it? Guilt could make people afraid, too. Gabriel could have been too scared to return, to face the condemnation Castiel might feel for him. There was also always the chance he had gone back only to find that Castiel was already ‘missing’…
Gabriel could be as much as a victim in all that as Castiel was and the chances that Castiel would ever get closure, to finally know for sure what had happened, or if Gabriel were still alive… they were slim.
He shook himself out of the memory, and by Alfie’s wide eyes, he was sure the other had realized something was wrong.
“As I’ve said, it’s your choice,” Castiel said, his voice rougher than he meant it to be. He paused and closed his eyes for a second to regain his equilibrium and cleared his throat before continuing. “But I could never be satisfied not knowing. Not knowing that there’s a chance that I could have the love and family I deserved if I was brave enough to go meet them. I can’t count how many times I wished to discover that the people I thought were my family weren’t truly my kin. How I dreamed of it, Alfie. And if I had the opportunity, I would regret not taking it.”
Castiel leaned in forward, staring into Alfie’s eyes.
“Ask yourself if you’d be content never knowing. Ask yourself if you wouldn’t later regret never knowing for sure,” Castiel finished softly. “Then, make the best decision for you. Not for me, or for Benny. You. Whatever you decide, we’ll back you.”
Alfie nodded. “Y-yeah, you’re right,” he breathed, his voice shaky. “I can do that.”
“Remember, you’re not in this alone. You’ve got Benny, and he’s so very devoted to you,” Castiel said with a warming smile. The love between Benny and Alfie was special and a joy to watch. “You have Missouri and Jody too, and me and Dean, if you want us.”
“Yeah, I do,” Alfie said. “I miss you both. I know it’s stupid – it was only a week – “
“No, it’s not stupid,” Castiel assured him. “And it’s been more than a week, you realize? In fact, it’s been almost three months. We’ve all kept in fairly regular contact, getting to know each other better in more than just the carnal ways.”
Alfie blushed and started to duck his head when his eyes went wide and he chuckled.
Something soft nuzzled Castiel’s cheek. He craned his neck awkwardly to see the kitten being set on his shoulder, Dean behind him grinning mischievously as he let go of the kitten.
“Awwwww, she’s so cute!” Alfie cried out, leaning in close to the camera. “Have you picked out a name yet?”
“Jude,” Dean said with a grin, staring straight down at Castiel. Castiel reached up and plucked the kitten off his shoulder and cradled her in his arms, beaming at Dean in pure satisfaction.
The name proved Dean had caved.
Dean pressed another kiss to Castiel’s cheek and whispered. “You guys have been taking about some pretty heavy stuff. Figured this would be a good way to lighten the mood and give him time to think about things.”
Castiel nodded approvingly as Alfie cooed at the kitten.
“Hey Jude,” Alfie said softly. “Hello there.” He wiggled his fingers at the camera and the kitten meowed, straining forward in Cas’s hand to swipe at the screen.
Castiel held her back. “Uh uh, no walking on my keyboard.” That was a habit he was determined to nip in the bud. Cats could be trained if you had the patience for it, he was certain.
Dean chuckled before looking self-consciously at Castiel, a blush forming in his face. Castiel stared back, grinning as Dean’s awkwardness grew and he finally burst out,
“Jude? Really?” Dean was such a sap and it was too adorable. Cas had no idea why Dean tried to hide it. “I thought you’d have gone with something like Han Solo or Indiana.”
“Hey,” Dean protested, defensively. “You promised I could name her and I did. I had no idea there were expectations I was supposed to live up to.”
“I did, there weren’t and I love it.” He kissed Dean softly. “But I can still express my surprise over your beautiful choice.”
Dean returned the kiss and the kitten wriggled in his hands almost unnoticed. Kissing Dean was something Castiel would never tire of, he was absolutely sure. There might be times he couldn’t bear the thought of being touched, by anyone – which was happening less and less, thank goodness – but it was never because he was tired of Dean. He lost himself in the kiss, forgetting momentarily, about his audience until -
“Awww, look at ‘em. So damn adorable. And the kitten too, I guess.” The southern drawl washed over Cas and sent a warm little thrill through him. Alfie and Benny. Two people he missed more than he could have anticipated and couldn’t wait to see again.
Dean broke off the kiss at Benny’s words with a sneeze and a laugh as they both turned back to the laptop. Jude was still squirming to reach it and Castiel sat her in his lap to distract her. Castiel and Dean looked back at the screen to see Benny had joined Alfie there, his arms curled about the smaller man with obvious care which Alfie returned, leaning back into Benny.
“Heya, Benny...” Dean called. “God, you look exhausted, man.”
“Right?” Alfie said. “I’ve been telling him he works too hard.”
“No harder than I need to,” Benny said, shrugging it off. “So how’re the moving plans going? You two settle on a date yet? Let us know when, so we can help.”
“Nah, no exact date yet. Cas’s got some transitional stuff to do with his patients still. It’s a whole process. And we got my uncle and my brother to help. My brother’s a sasquatch,” Dean said with a snort. “Seriously. Thinking of letting him do all the work.”
Castiel looked at Dean disapprovingly, though he knew was joking. Dean just smirked back.
“Okay, well, let us know if you change your minds. And in the meantime, make sure you come down to the diner to take a break and get some food. I’m sure you won’t be wanting to do any cooking or, well much of anything after all that work,” Benny offered.
“Too true,” Dean agreed.
“It’ll be good to see you both again,” Castiel offered.
“It’s a date then,” Benny said, Alfie nodding eagerly beside him and Castiel couldn’t help but smile right along with them.
Warmth flooded Castiel at the words. They really hadn’t discussed them yet, but the words sounded like a promise. A welcome one at that, and by the squeeze of Dean’s hand on his shoulders, it was mutual.
A date it was, then.
Chapter 5: Just a Few Nerves
Alfie's nervous and Benny knows just how to take care of him.
This is a surprise chapter- not just for you guys, but for me as well.
No seriously - I posted about it: If you ever wonder what it's like to be a writer">
(please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes - i wrote that on my phone and posted it - I HATE using my phone to type... MASSIVE kudos to people who write stories on phones - including massive big bag style stories. like, HOW???)
Also, thanks to foop for the help with that one line :D
Benny trudged up the apartment stairs, not for the first time wishing there was an elevator. It wasn’t so much an issue when he wasn’t tired, but when he was so damn exhausted, like now, three flights of stairs could be a little much.
He carried dinner in his arms, but thankfully was otherwise unburdened when he reached his door and pushed it open. He found Alfie sitting at the counter between the kitchen and the living room, his laptop the only source of light, a mug – likely cold - sitting beside it. Benny set the pizza – Julian’s specialty, Benny had never gotten the hang of pizza – down on the table by the door just as Alfie slapped the laptop closed and let his head drop on top of it, breathing hard.
“Cher?” Benny asked carefully, toeing off his shoes and socks at the door. “What’s wrong?”
Alfie looked up with wide, panic-stricken eyes. “I did it, bear,” he said, swallowing hard, his body starting to shake.
Benny crossed the room instantly, forgetting the pizza and drawing Alfie into his arms. “Did what?” He asked, wracking his brains to figure out what could be going on that Alfie was this scared about having done something – oh.
“I took your advice. Yours and Jodes and Missouri’s and Cas’s too. And I… I contacted them,” Alfie said, his voice muffled by Benny’s shirt, his hands gripping tight but his whole frame shaking. There was no need to say who ‘them’ were. Benny had realized it in the split second before Alfie had started speaking.
“What was their answer?” he asked, cautiously.
“I don’t know. I literally just hit send on the email.” Alfie’s voice quavered, shaken by his body.
“You’re so brave,” Benny reassured him, pulling him in tighter. “It’ll be okay, no matter what happens. Though I’m curious what made you finally go through with it? We’ve been talking about this for ages now, and you’ve been resisting the very idea…”
“It was Cas, actually,” Alfie said, taking a deep breath, before he drew back enough to stare up at Benny. “Benny, there was something in his eyes, something so sad that… something that he didn’t want to say because I’m sure he was afraid it would influence me more than it should. He was trying so hard to stay impartial and still give advice, but there was something there, I know it. And… and he was right, too. Not knowing – it would absolutely eat at me. I have to know and, and if the best-case scenario happens – if they love me – then I deserve that, right?”
“Of course you do, cher,” Benny said softly, rubbing his hands over Alfie’s back soothingly. It made his heart break that Alfie could think otherwise. He kissed the top of Alfie’s head, then down until he could rest their foreheads together.
Alfie tried to melt into Benny’s arms, his body going near limp with relief. “I actually feel like I could throw up, waiting for an answer.”
“That’s no good. Let’s see if I can distract you,” Benny said softly once more, kissing Alfie on the lips this time.
“Mmmm… that would definitely distract me,” Alfie said after they broke apart.
Benny smiled, exhaustion becoming a memory as the impulse to do one of the things he loved most – take care of the loves in his life – overtook him. He rubbed at Alfie’s shoulders, noting how tense and tight they were. Who knew how long Alfie had sat at that computer stressing over the email? Both the composing and the sending of, and now the waiting.
And that gave him an idea.
“But first, I think we need to get you relaxed a bit. How’s a hot bubble bath with neck and shoulder massage sound?”
“Only if you’re in it with me, bear,” Alfie said, tucking his head into Benny’s neck.
“I dunno, that’s a fairly tight squeeze, cher,” Benny said doubtfully. “I ain’t exactly small.”
“Please?” Alfie stared at him with pleading eyes.
“I could never say no to you,” Benny said, kissing Alfie, then breaking it off again. Taking his hands, Benny pulled him towards the bathroom.
“Yes, you can, when you need to,” Alfie chided with a smile.
Benny chuckled. “Okay, yeah. But damn is it hard,” he said.
They crowded into the small bathroom, Benny letting go to get the tub set up and the water started, while Alfie started stripping.
“Hey, no fair stripping while I’m too busy to watch,” Benny complained teasingly from where he sat at the edge of the tub, testing the temperature rushing out of the faucet and then reaching for the bubbles and pouring in a generous amount.
“Sorry, I’m just real anxious,” Alfie said. He stood before Benny, as naked could be and reached for Benny’s shirt, undoing the buttons. Benny reached up for Alfie’s waist from where he sat, the faucet running hot and hard with bubbles frothing up behind them.
Alfie leaned over to get the last of Benny’s buttons and Benny took the opportunity to capture his lips again, drawing Alfie between his spread knees.
After a few long moments of deep kissing that Benny didn’t want to stop, Alfie drew away panting, pushing at the shirt and trying to shove it off his shoulders.
“Too many clothes, bear,” Alfie whined.
“Patience,” Benny rumbled affectionately. None the less, he let Alfie finish taking his shirt off, even assisting a bit, leaving him in his pants and boxers and already growing hard.
So was Alfie.
With a wicked gleam, Benny nosed forward, taking Alfie into his mouth.
Alfie gasped, his hands returning to Benny’s shoulders and gripping him tight. Benny hummed around Alfie’s cock, loving the sounds Alfie made as he sucked and swallowed around Alfie’s erection. His hands went around Alfie, grabbing his ass to pull him even closer, taking him further in, his mouth slickly gliding up and down.
“God, Benny, I…” Alfie panted.
Benny’s hands flexed over Alfie’s as, one hand sliding just a little further over the swell of it, kneading lightly as he went and –
He popped off, licking up to the top and angling his head to peer upwards at a very much blushing – but completely unashamed – Alfie.
“A little hopeful, were you?”
“I’m… I’m always hopeful,” Alfie said, his blush deepening.
Benny grinned, his fingers closing over the plug and shifting it, pulling it out gently and pushing it back just as carefully, enjoying the groan the movement pulled out of Alfie, the tremble of his body against Benny’s, still trapped between his thick thighs.
“B-besides – I -- I needed a distraction earlier too and I – I…”
“Played with yourself?” Benny supplied helpfully.
Alfie nodded vigorously even as Benny continued to play with the plug. “Y-yeah…”
“Did you fuck yourself too?” Benny asked, his heart beating faster at the idea of Alfie laid out on their bed with one of their vibrators, teasing himself – before thrusting it in, hard and deep – maybe imagining it was Benny the whole time.
“Yes!” Alfie’s breath exploded out of him when, with one final push, Benny resettled the plug. The whine was almost instantaneous when Benny let go of it.
“Shh, cher,” Benny soothed. “I gotta finish undressing, don’t ya think?”
Alfie backed away enough to let Benny stand, and as soon as Benny did, Alfie dropped to his knees, his hand already at Benny’s jeans, opening them and taking both hands to slide them down, pulling the boxers along for the ride.
Benny watched as Alfie slid down, his breath stuttering as Alfie breathed over his cock, his lips coming teasingly close before he looked up and smirked.
And then he backed away, leaving Benny’s clothes pooled at his feet and his cock hard and aching.
“Damn, cher,” Benny croaked out with a rueful shake of his head. “Payin’ me back for something?”
Alfie stood, kissing Benny, his arms coming up around Benny’s neck and his whole body pressing into Benny’s deliciously, heating him up. Benny groaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Alfie’s waist before sliding them down to lift Alfie up by his ass. Alfie whimpered at the show of strength, deepening the kiss hungrily, his legs automatically coming up around Benny’s waist.
Stepping out of the pile of clothes, Benny carefully turned and stepped into the now full tub, setting Alfie down on his feet again. He pulled away, but couldn’t resist going back in for another kiss, then another, his hands wandering over Alfie’s body with a gentle touch.
Finally able to pull back enough to resist another kiss, Benny reached around Alfie to turn off the faucet and proceeded to sit, stretching his legs out as best as he could, the suds of the bubble bath the only thing covering his bent knees.
“C’mon, Alfie,” Benny said softly, reaching one hand up to take Alfie’s. He guided him down to sit with his back to Benny and Benny slid himself slightly to give Alfie a more reclining rest, then hooked his chin over Alfie’s shoulder. He held Alfie close for a few more minutes, giving in to the impulse to suck at his neck and kiss it lightly.
Alfie shifted, exposing more of his neck to Benny as he made the softest of moans. Benny smiled, then leaned back again, grabbing a washcloth and filling it with an abundance of suds, slowly sliding it around Alfie’s chest and arms.
Arching up into the touch, Alfie’s head fell on Benny’s shoulder and Benny grinned, turning to nuzzle into Alfie’s floppy blonde hair, inhaling deeply, a flutter erupting in his belly at the smell of Alfie.
“Ben…” Alfie breathed.
“Shhh, let me take care of ya,” Benny said. “Don’t worry, you’ll get what you need.”
He eased Alfie forward enough to use the washcloth along his back and neck, gently kneading through the cloth, digging into the muscles just enough to have Alfie moaning freely now.
“Oh god…” he groaned. “Oh my god, that feels so good…”
“You’re all sorts of tense, cher,” Benny said, eventually putting the washcloth away and going after Alfie’s shoulders directly, using the heel of his hands and his thumbs to work at the knots plaguing his boyfriend.
“Yeah… I mean I knew I was but I hadn’t realized how bad…” Alfie sighed, leaning into the touch a little bit with every pass of Benny’s fingers.
Little by little, the knots worked themselves out under Benny’s diligent and determined hands until Alfie was nearly a puddle against Benny, finally sliding so far back that Benny’s hands couldn’t work anymore. Instead, he switched goals, sliding them up over Alfie’s shoulders and down his arms and into the still hot water and the dissipating bubbles.
As Alfie’s head lolled contentedly against Benny’s shoulder, Benny twisted down to nibble at Alfie’s exposed throat, occasionally licking and sucking as he made his way along the sensitive skin. Alfie’s gasps and moans were music to Benny’s ears, his hands sliding through the water to grasp at Alfie’s hips. Alfie groaned, his arm lazily coming up out of the water, dripping as he pulled at Benny’s head and angled them enough for their lips to meet.
The kisses started slow and light but quickly deepened, opening to each other. Benny’s hand came around Alfie’s cock and Alfie gasped into Benny’s open mouth, his hips rising into the touch. Benny loved this, loved seeing how much Alfie loved his touch, how it thrilled him.
He slid his hand along Alfie’s shaft under the water while his other held Alfie still in his lap, his tongue thrusting deep, then pulling back to suck on Alfie’s bottom lip. Benny watched Alfie’s eyes fluttering shut with a satisfied smirk and thumbed the tip of his cock.
Whimpering, Alfie squirmed in Benny’s grip and against his cock, and Benny closed his eyes on a groan dropping his head to Alfie’s shoulder. He was so hard, aching for more friction, to be buried deep inside of Alfie and making him scream with pleasure.
Shifting them slightly, Benny let go of Alfie’s hip, sliding between them, down, down, feeling around for –
“B-benny!” Alfie cried out sharply.
Getting his fingers around the plug, Benny pulled it free slowly, only teasing slightly as he did. He dropped it in the water and felt his way back to Alfie’s hole, teasing the rim a little before slipping a finger inside.
“More,” Alfie gasped, hips rocking back into the touch and then back up into Benny’s fist. “Oh god, please… want you, bear…”
“Not yet,” Benny rumbled. It was torture to wait, but he wanted Alfie to feel good, to feel loved, so he wanted to take it as slow as he could.
Alfie’s left hand slapped down on Benny’s thigh, water splashing up, and gripped hard while the other still tugged at Benny’s head, pulling him back into a hard, sloppy, gasping kiss, all while he writhed under Benny’s hands.
Benny kissed him eagerly, desire flooding him, pleasure shivering through his body with every movement. He added another finger, and Alfie’s kisses grew more desperate, as he pushed back, trying to take Benny deeper.
When Benny was up to three fingers, Alfie began to plead, rocking, grinding down in Benny’s lap and Benny couldn’t hold back any longer. His blood singing with anticipation, Benny slipped his fingers out, let go of Alfie’s cock and grabbed his own, lining himself up.
With the first press of the head of his cock to Alfie’s hole, they both groaned, long and low. Benny’s head fell back against the tiled wall, and Alfie fell against him, both of them breathing hard.
Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Benny pulled Alfie down on his cock, his eyes closing and his teeth gritted hard against how good it felt. How good Alfie always felt. Finally, Benny bottomed out and Alfie was resting fully against him now, Benny’s cock buried inside him.
They both held still for a moment, panting hard, and then like a tidal wave crashed they broke.
Alfie rocked back, rolling his hips and it was all Benny could do not to grab hold and slam upwards. He did thrust, a slow glide that barely disturbed the water, but they were both soon lost in the incredible sensations, the need that crawled higher. The water in the tub became violent with their motion, splashing out over the top of the tub as Benny thrust deep into Alfie’s heat, his hands wandering over Alfie’s chest, his legs and back up, teasing at his erection.
Lips closed over Alfie’s neck, making their way to that one spot that –
“Ah! Benny!” Alfie jerked, arching back.
Benny licked the bite soothingly, continuing to thrust deeply.
“God, cher, I love you… you’re perfect. Feel so good,” Benny whispered. “Wanna make you feel even better…”
“You do, bear, you do,” Alfie gasped out. “Please, har- hard- AH!” he shouted when Benny obliged. “Yeah, just like… like that…. Oh fuck…”
The water swallowed the skin slapping sounds of Benny pounding into Alfie, but the constant splash and splat of the water slapping the sides of the tub and spattering across the floor kept time with Benny’s thrusts, adding a beautiful background noise to every gasp, whimper and moan.
Alfie clenched around him and Benny stuttered, his hands spasming in their hold of Alfie’s hips. He clenched again and Benny groaned, thrusting up hard and deep. He was so close… so damn close… Benny shoved a hand up through the water to pump Alfie’s cock, sliding slickly over the skin, twisting up, thumbing the head and back down again -
And again -
And again, each slide a match to the desperate thrusts of Benny’s hips before he jerked upward one last time, pulling Alfie down into him as close as he could and spilling inside of him.
Alfie was right behind him.
Even more worked up than Benny thought, Alfie spilled into the water with a cry, his body going taut and his hole milking Benny’s cock. Seconds later, Alfie collapsed back against Benny with a shuddering sigh of contentment.
Benny chuckled, lifting his arms to curl around Alfie’s chest and cuddle up with him. The water was starting to get lukewarm now, but Benny felt too bonelessly tired to move, too content to keep Alfie in his arms to consider moving in any way shape or form.
Eventually, the water would grow cold enough to drive them out, but for now, he wanted this, this moment.
He hadn’t been getting enough of these moments since Cuthbert quit, too tired to spend enough quality time with Alfie, and dammit, he’d missed this. He’d missed the sex, yes, but he’d missed this too.
Hands idly rubbing along Alfie’s skin, Benny didn’t realize he was humming until Alfie chuckled, shaking against his chest.
“Yeah,” Alfie breathed out. “Love you.”
“Mmm… I love you too.” They relaxed into each other and Benny drifted, happy to have Alfie in his arms, sated and happy to be there.
Soon enough, as Benny had predicted, the cold water drove them out. Alfie stepped out first, standing tall and stretching his arms up over his head, his back bowed gracefully. Benny watched the spectacle even as he unstoppered the tub and dug around for the plug. He wiped it off, dropping it into the sink so it wouldn’t get lost and kissed the pout off Alfie’s lips.
“Gonna want a new one, cher, if you’re that disappointed in being empty,” Benny said, smiling.
Alfie looked like he was considering it as he rubbed himself down with one of their large, fluffy towels – Benny had taken one look at most of the towels for sale and declared them inadequate, going on a hunt for the largest towels he could find – but then shrugged, letting it go.
Benny reached for the towel, helping Alfie to dry off even as Alfie did the same for him.
It had been hell finding towels as good as these, but they’d been worth it.
“Ain’t about to use a washcloth to dry off with,” he’d said and it’d made Alfie look him up and down with a smirk on his face.
“I dunno, they’re not that small. Still, it’d be funny to watch you try to wrap it around your waist and see how little it covered,” Alfie had pointed out.
“You are an evil man,” Benny had countered.
“Nope, I just know when I’m looking at art,” Alfie had shot back. “Though I don’t think I want to share you with an audience.”
How far they’d come since then. Who could have guessed how their summer vacation would transpire, how they would mutually fall head over heels for another couple?
Alfie did, indeed, share Benny and it still boggled his mind that this was something they were doing, that they were both okay with.
Walking naked through the house was never a concern for either of them and they left their now soaked clothes on the bathroom floor for later as Alfie’s stomach rumbled, reminding Benny that he’d brought dinner home.
Which was probably cold as shit now.
But properly heated back up, hopefully it wouldn’t taste like shit.
“Here, grab us some boxers, I’ll go reheat dinner for us,” Benny said, kissing Alfie’s lips as they parted ways at the bathroom door.
Benny retrieved the pizza and brought it back into the kitchen, turning the oven on and then looking for his stone pans to set the pizza on for reheating. Alfie returned just as Benny slid the pizza into the oven and handed Benny a pair of boxers. He slipped them on, then leaned back against the counter and pulled Alfie to him.
They made out lazily as they waited for their food, then took it to eat on the couch when it was ready, Benny snagging a couple of beers on the way. Alfie had turned the tv on and was already scrolling through Netflix when Benny rejoined him.
Settling together on the couch, Benny curled one arm around Alfie as they watched some random program and ate Julian’s pizza.
One of these days, he’d get the hang of it, but for now, he was happy like this, where he was. Alfie leaned against him, fully relaxed and content, the laptop and his future concerns forgotten, for now, and Benny had done that. Benny had been there for him and made him feel better, and his heart swelled with happiness at that.
God, he loved Alfie.
Long after they finished eating, the two of them remained curled together on the couch, Benny’s hand soothing up and down Alfie’s arm, his eyes growing heavy with sleep.
Benny didn’t even notice when they closed, but he drifted off happy.
Chapter 6: Picking up the Frayed Ends
The big move is coming and Castiel is feeling more than a little out of sorts with all the changes going on in his life. Thankfully, Dean has an idea on how Castiel can feel a bit more in control of things again...
This chapter, like the last one, sprung out at me last minute. Seriously, I have like, 5 more chapters after this already written, but i only finished THIS one last night. Why, muse, why?
But yeah, after adding in the previous chapter, my muse was like "Hmm... you realize you've pushed off certain things even FURTHER now? And it's a little unbalanced so now you gotta write an insert."
of course, when i pondered what would go in there, i immedietly came upon something i wasn't sure i could actually write as i have no experience whatsoever with Shibari or anything like it (though i'll admit, i'm fascinated by it).
I owe a lot of people thank you's for helping me gather some resources as well as the offers of help (lisa lemur, writergamermom, fpwoper, TobytheWise, CRNoble) and actually reading this over before posting (Formidablepassion and Feathers-and-cigarettes)
It's possible i'm going to even get a live demo at some point - but it would be way too late for the writing of this chapter soo.... *nervous as hell* here ya go?
For those of you who discussed it with me, y'all seemed super excited for a Shibari chapter and i hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm not sure it all went in the directions some of you might have hoped, but i think it fits the tone of the story and the characters so I hope you still like it :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Castiel looked around at the apartment, surrounded by packing boxes. Very little was left out, just the essentials, since moving day was tomorrow.
Suddenly nervous, Castiel started double checking everything. He was in the kitchen, buried deep in one of the cabinets when Dean appeared behind him, fresh from his shower. Castiel looked back at the footsteps and then back into the cabinet. Was there something in that corner? He reached but found it was just a shadow.
“What’s the matter, babe?”
“Just making sure we haven’t left anything behind,” Castiel muttered.
Arms came up around his waist and Dean’s head fell against his shoulders. “Babe, you’re anxious. Everything’s gonna be fine. Sam will be at the airport in a few hours, we’ll load up tonight and by this time tomorrow we’ll be home, in Sioux Falls.”
“I know,” Castiel said, leaning back and closing his eyes. “It’s just…New job, new place, new people… change, Dean. It’s… it’s hard. And then there’s Benny and Alfie… “
“Hey, hey, I’m nervous too,” Dean said softly. “Look, we got a few hours before Sam gets here… come with me. I think I know something that’ll make us both feel better.”
“Mmhmm… been thinking about asking for it for a little while now, and I think it’ll help you too.”
Dean led Castiel back to the bedroom, Castiel’s heart skipping a beat at the implications of Dean’s words, then skipping another when he stepped into their room to find a length of their blue hemp rope laying coiled on the bed.
Turning, Dean stared back at Castiel with a hopeful grin on his face, already stripping down – not that he had much to take off, having just showered.
“Let’s give you back some of that control you feel slipping away from you, hmm?” Dean said softly, picking up the rope and holding it out to Castiel.
“Dean,” Castiel breathed. “Oh, my love…” He ignored the rope in Dean’s hands briefly to instead cup Dean’s face with his hands, kissing Dean gently and long, drawing out a moan from Dean. “You’re so perfect,” Castiel said, drawing back.
Dean blushed, as he always did. “’m not,” he mumbled halfheartedly. With enough repetition, Castiel was certain he could convince Dean of it.
After a quick check to make sure Jude wasn’t in the room with them – he didn’t want to disturb the calm Dean was sure to get out of this with a sneezing fit, allergy meds or no – Castiel closed the door firmly, then rejoined Dean at the foot of the bed. Finally accepting the rope, Castiel scanned his eyes over each inch of the bared flesh before him even as Dean’s breath picked up.
Castiel turned the blue rope in his hand, undoing the coil and sliding the soft hemp till he found the bight. He was well familiar with its weight and texture, the rope soft from repeated use. It was heavier and therefore slower to work with than jute, but he and Dean were both okay with that, albeit for different reasons.
Dean liked to feel the weight of it and Castiel liked to take his time and work slow.
Castiel folded it at the bight into two with long practice as he planned how best to proceed. The possibilities were endless.
First he hooked the small plush stool out from under the bed, settling the stool beside it with enough room for him to walk around it. As soon as it was settled in place, Dean - without a word spoken between them, none being necessary - knelt on the stool facing the bed, hands behind him.
Castiel hummed his approval before verbalizing it for Dean’s benefit.
“Good boy, my love,” Castiel said, watching Dean flush even more with his words and noting the twitch of his cock. He walked around Dean to stand behind him, gently smoothing a hand over Dean’s back, down his spine and up once more before sliding his fingers over the tattoo on Dean’s shoulder.
It was beautiful, and so Dean, to not only wear his heart on his sleeve – so to speak – but to etch something of his loved ones so permanently on his skin. Castiel thumbed over the words “My Love”, with awe and reverence, feeling catching in his throat.
He still felt a measure of guilt that he'd been unable to stay with Dean throughout the entirety of its creation.
“Tell me if anything’s too tight, love,” Castiel murmured. They did this enough that the words didn’t need to be said, but it made him feel good to remind Dean. With careful movement, Cas began working the rope around Dean’s body with artful loops and strategic knots.
“You picked blue, I noticed,” Castiel said. “Out of all our choices, why that one, I wonder?”
Dean hummed happily as the ropes wound about him, Castiel watching and listening carefully as he went. “Blue for you, for your eyes. Wanted to feel you all over.” He flushed a little, partially from his arousal, partially a residual embarrassment for being so open – something that didn’t usually affect him these days, but it struck Dean at odd times, like Cas’s reluctance to be touched did him.
“Understandable,” Castiel approved as he worked his way up Dean’s arms first, leaving diamonds in his wake. Mostly, they worked in silence, a murmured word here, a word there. Praise or reminders, sometimes both, but praise more often than not.
“My good boy, my good Dean, my love,” Castiel said more than once. He moved around Dean to work his way down his torso. Dean’s eyes were closed, his stance tight but his muscles relaxed. That Dean trusted him with this, that he loved and trusted Cas so much to not only ask to be tied up but to enjoy it as immensely as he did…
And Dean – make no mistake – enjoyed every minute of it, his cock at attention and leaking.
Except for his arms, nothing Castiel did would hold Dean immobile – more decoration than bondage, at least this time – it was the artistry of this that Castiel loved best, that had fascinated him the first time Dean had suggested anything like it.
And Dean’s willing submission to it, letting Castiel take the lead, take the rope, and wrap it as he saw fit, turning a work of art into even more art, was definitely a thing Castiel had fallen into, hard.
He continued the slow, deliberate process of criss-crossing the blue hemp around Dean’s body, wrapping it deliberately here, then there. He had started at the back, with Dean’s wrists, going up the length of his arms before working back down his torso. He hummed appreciatively as he went, and as Dean relaxed into the rope, his eyes closing blissfully.
Castiel checked in with him as they went but for the most part, let himself fall into his work, into making Dean feel good. The calm that came with it, the control Castiel felt in doing it, the pleasure he derived from the beauty of Dean enjoying this was immeasurable and he was glad D ean had suggested it.
Every so often, Cas paused to run his fingers under the soft hemp, pulled taut across Dean’s skin, but not so tight as to actually hurt him. He enjoyed slipping two fingers underneath, caressing along the line of rope, listening to the quiet sounds Dean made when he did.
They spent some time like that; Dean’s breathing, the sound of the rope sliding through Castiel’s hands, little occasional gasps from Dean at a tug, or a quiet whine at a caress, all creating music to Castiel’s ears.
It was easy to lose track of time like this, but all too soon, Castiel was done.
With a last flip and tug, Castiel tucked in the last bit of rope, stepping away with a satisfied hum. His eyes roamed all over Dean taking in how he'd framed different parts of him, putting him on display for Castiel's eyes only.
Sliding his hand over Dean’s skin, Castiel traced the path of the rope, his eyes following along. He leaned in to kiss along the tattoo on Dean’s back, completely uncovered though it was slightly scrunched at the shoulders where Dean's arms were pulled back and tied, but still glorious, just like Dean.
Fingers trailing lightly, teasingly, Castiel moved around to stand in front of Dean, smiling to see how blissed out Dean was. His gaze dropped from Dean’s face to the diamond patterns on his chest, circling his nipples, and his fingers paused to flick them lightly the way Dean liked.
Well, to be honest, Dean liked just about anything when it came to his nipples.
Spreading his fingers, Castiel’s hands wandered further down, feeling the ropes against his skin, along with the warmth and sweat of Dean’s body. Dean’s breathing had picked up a little faster now, and his eyes had popped open, dilated with pleasure, his lips slightly parted.
Castiel’s hand closed around Dean’s erection, feeling it twitch in his grasp. Leaning forward, Castiel pressed his lips to Dean’s gently. Keeping the kisses soft and light, he moved his hand slowly over Dean’s dick. Dean’s body trembled lightly under Castiel’s gaze when he pulled back.
“Are you ready?” Castiel asked quietly. Dean nodded with a light gasp when Castiel thumbed the head of his cock. “Then come.”
His command was quiet, and so was Dean when he came, his body stiffening, his mouth opening in a silent shout as he came all over Castiel’s hand.
“Good boy,” Castiel whispered, kissing along Dean’s jaw before letting their lips meet once more. Dean slumped into him and Castiel held him like that for a few moments before grabbing hold of his shoulders and pulling them gently apart.
“All right, let’s untie you. I feel a good snuggle coming on,” Castiel said with a chuckle.
Dean whined. “Please… can you leave it?”
“Hmm… my love, I’m not sure that’s a good idea with all we’ve got planned to do for today.”
Castiel made the mistake of looking in Dean’s beautiful, green eyes, framed by dark lashes, freckles and an adorable, pleading pout. He sighed, resting their foreheads together.
“Dean, if I left you tied up as you are now, you could hardly drive the impala when it was time to pick up Sam, and you were very insistent that he be picked up in a ‘real’ car. Besides,” Castiel added. “I don’t think Sam would appreciate seeing you like that.”
“Well then, maybe just… something small? Something hidden?” Dean begged.
“Hmm… maybe I could arrange something… but I want to remove it before we start doing all that heavy lifting we plan,” Castiel clarified.”
“That’s fine by me,” Dean said, relaxing again. Castiel breathed a silent sigh of relief, glad that he hadn’t just undone every bit of good their little session had done for both of them.
Carefully undoing his work with a mind on how to rework it for Dean’s request, Castiel thought eagerly of the moment when he was done and the two of them would curl upon their bed together.
It was always the after that was one of his favorite things in the world, the moments when they cuddled, bodies entwined, listening to each other’s heartbeats, to their breathing. Sometimes in silence, sometimes not.
Occasionally falling asleep like that, curled so close it was hard to know where one ended and the other began. Not that it mattered to Cas. Dean was his world.
It was strange to think that it might be expanding.
Once his arms were completely free, Dean let them drop, then roll his shoulders a bit before stretching them out. Castiel caught his hands, bringing them up one at a time to kiss Dean’s knuckles.
Dean blushed but then used the leverage to pull Castiel into a kiss.
Castiel was breathless when he pulled away, chiding Dean. “Now, now, my love, no more distractions if you want me to do this.”
Settling back so his naked ass was resting on his legs, Dean smirked. “I’ll behave.”
“I know you will,” Castiel said proudly. He set the rope aside, going to their little table by the bed pulling out one, quite a bit smaller and going back to Dean. “You always are.”
Soon enough, Castiel had finished the smaller tie – more decorative than anything, this time – and Dean was mostly soothed rather than aroused. Pulling Dean up off the stool, Castiel guided him to lay down on the bed on his stomach, proceeding to massage both his shoulders, down along both arms across his butt and down along his legs.
Cushioned or not, Dean had been on his knees for quite some time, and his arms pulled back and held immobile though Castiel had taken great pains that it would not be overly burdensome.
Dean hummed and moaned lightly at the touch of Castiel’s fingers digging into the knots of his muscles as he worked his way down, then back up. When he reached Dean’s shoulders, Castiel stretched out beside him and arranged Dean to lay partially over Castiel.
The press of Dean’s body along his was warm and comforting. A hand found its way into Dean’s spiky hair, the other lay pressed against the small of his back, just above his ass.
Making lazy motions with his hands, Castiel listened contently as Dean fell asleep in his arms.
I t was some time later that Dean stirred in Castiel’s arms. He stretched languidly against Castiel’s body with a yawn and leaned back enough to stare up at Castiel. Castiel’s hand paused in its movement, stilling where it was, threaded in Dean’s hair.
“How are you feeling, my love?”
“Hmm… wonderful. But shouldn’t I be asking you that, babe?” Dean hummed out the question. “This was for you, after all.”
Castiel leaned down to give Dean a long, solid kiss. He pulled away when Dean’s eyes fluttered, his lashes falling against his cheeks. Dean’s eyes sprung open, though, when Castiel stopped kissing him.
“I assure you, it most definitely helped,” Castiel said, tracing a finger along Dean’s jaw. “Just because I was the intended target, doesn’t mean we couldn’t mutually benefit from the scene. In fact, to me, that’s the best scenario. When we can both benefit, both enjoy with no guilt.”
“Then good,” Dean said, smiling. “Glad to hear it.”
He closed his eyes and laid his head back down on Castiel’s chest, obviously as reluctant to leave the warm cocoon they’d made on the bed as Castiel was. “How much time do we have?”
Castiel craned over to read the clock and sighed. “Not as much as I’d like. Sam’s plane will be landing in an hour.”
Dean pushed himself up to lean on an elbow, looking down at Castiel. “But you’re doing better, right?”
“I am, thank you, Dean,” Castiel said with a smile. Dean leaned down to kiss him before dragging himself out of the bed, still naked as a jaybird, except for the rope criss crossing his chest, resting closely against his skin.
He stood, stretching again, a sight Castiel never tired of seeing, then leaned over, pressing his hands down into the mattress on either side of Castiel. Dean hovered, his lips brushing Castiel’s when he talked. “I’ll get some coffee started and then make myself presentable, then off we can go to pick up little Sammy.”
“Sounds good,” Castiel answered, smiling as he shifted the miniscule amount needed to bring Dean into a kiss. It didn’t take much coaxing – to be honest, it never did – and all too soon, they parted.
Castiel watched him leave before heaving himself up out of the bed to follow after him, stopping only to put away the few things that they’d taken out.
If Sam were going to help them move, it wouldn’t be very nice of them to scar Sam for life.
As he wrapped the rope back up the way he liked it, Castiel thought about how perfect Dean was.
How imperfect he was.
No. he’d promised Dean he wouldn’t think like that anymore.
Just because there were times when he couldn’t be there for Dean the way he wanted - the way Dean needed –
Just because sometimes their needs did not always match up –
It didn’t mean he was less, or broken. Or maybe he was broken, but it didn’t make him any less deserving of Dean, nor Dean of him.
Still, their seeking out partners had started as a way to pick up when Castiel couldn’t push through his own difficulties, his own traumas and triggers. Those times happened less now – much, much less – leaving them more stable as a couple than ever, but what had started as a way to ‘pick up the slack’ had become something fun they both enjoyed.
And now there was Benny and Alfie.
Castiel never would have seen this coming and he would have thought himself well satisfied with just Dean, but here they were. The other couple had somehow wormed their way into their lives in a manner that had Castiel perplexed – and immensely happy.
The four of them had fitted together almost like jigsaw pieces slotting into their rightful places. And Castiel, for one, was eager to see how that would work out.
Despite the uncertainty of change, of the looming unknown, Castiel was feeling calm.
Dean had a way of doing that for him.
He finished packing up the rope just as a skittering of teeny tiny claws hit the hardwood floor of their bedroom. Jude slid on her feet, an affronted look on her face as she tumbled head over heels. He chuckled, bending over to pick her up.
“Sorry we kicked you out, little one. Some things are not meant for little kitten eyes or – for that matter – kitten participation,” he cooed at her. He walked her out of the bedroom on bare feet, meeting a still naked Dean in the hallway.
“Yeah, Jude, you’re cute an’ all, but I had a bad experience before and I’m not eager to recreate it,” Dean said. “though at least we’re smart enough not to have a water bed and a lava lamp.”
Castiel raised his eyebrow at Dean.
“Uh… long story and uh… I’m just… gonna go get dressed now…” Dean booked it down the hallway, Castiel staring after him confounded.
He looked down at Jude. Jude batted his chin with her paw.
“I’m not sure if I do want to know, do you?” Castiel asked, continuing on to the kitchen.
“You’re probably right. It’s best not to ask.”
the lava lamp/waterbed/cat comment is actually a reference to a filk song called "The Really Sick Note" by Tom Smith.
every time someone mentions to me that they want to read or write a fic where the smut isn't all perfect, and everything just goes wrong, i think of THIS song. it's hilarious.
Chapter 7: Second (or Third) Chances
Alfie finally meets his real parents.
Surely they've got to be better than the people he'd thought were his family this whole time.
You're going to notice a name shift in this chapter. It is deliberate. Reasoning why at the end.... (In case it counts as spoiler? I don't think it would, but just to be safe)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
After Cas’s pep talk, Samandriel had thought about it. Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t already been thinking about it, but Cas’s words had given Samandriel a new perspective.
Cas was right, just like he’d told Benny, he would always wonder.
So, in the end, after a very short back and forth between Chuck and himself, they'd settled on a time to meet.
Samandriel hadn't mentioned much in his email, and was still uncertain about which was the right tactic: rip off the band aid before they met or meet them in person to feel them out before bringing up certain... topics?
Either way, the idea of saying anything made him ill, but he was here, only a couple days after he'd sent that first email. He hadn't expected anything to be arranged quite so quickly but he guessed they wanted to see their baby after so many years apart and he just wanted to get it over with...
One way or another.
Benny had offered to go with him, of course, as soon as Samandriel had told him of his decision, but Samandriel shook his head and insisted he go alone.
Standing in front of the quaint little house with nerves dancing sickeningly through him, Samandriel regretted the choice but he was determined to see it through.
He swallowed, took a deep breath and knocked timidly against the door. Almost instantly, so it seemed, it opened. On the other side was a dark-haired lady he’d seen only in the pictures he’d found when he’d tried googling his real parents. If he’d been hoping that seeing her would spark some memory in him that the photos hadn’t, he found that hope dashed. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at him.
“Hi,” Samandriel said awkwardly, “I’m —"
“Samuel! Oh, my lord!” the woman – his mother, he was sure, unless she had a twin -- slapped a hand over her mouth -- Oh god, please don’t let her shriek! -- before pulling it away again and holding it against her chest in a fist, her other hand fluttering out toward him. “It’s you! You’re finally here. Oh, you’re the spitting image of Uncle Byron, God rest his soul.”
Samandriel flinched and then hoped she hadn’t seen the flinch. “Um, actually I prefer to go by Alfie.”
Shaking her head, she said firmly yet gently, “Hon... I don’t know what that cult did to you, or how they may have brainwashed you, but your name is Samuel.”
Samandriel smiled nervously trying to put on a good face even though his stomach twisted at her insistence and her denial – she doesn’t know -- and then the woman launched herself at him, wrapping him in a hug. Squeaking in horror and surprise, Samandriel stiffened and started to shake. His skin crawled with the urge to shove her off and get away.
She pulled back teary eyed. “Come in and sit down. I’ll get your father. Do you like tea?”
“Would it matter if he didn’t? You’d still be making him a cup,” said a voice from behind her. Samandriel looked past her to see an older gentleman with wild, curly hair and thick beard coming towards him from the other side of the room. “I’m Chuck, your dad. C’mon, I’ll show you to the kitchen. It’s my favorite room in the house.”
Samandriel blinked as Chuck – his dad, that was so damn weird – followed Hannah out of the room.
Nothing was going quite the way he’d expected. Then again, he’d had no idea what to expect. Pushing his feet to move forward, Samandriel followed them, in time to be gestured towards a chair at a cozy kitchen table.
His mother bustled forward, a cup in hand. She placed it on the table in front of him with a laugh. “This was really good timing. I had just put the water on to boil a couple of minutes before you knocked. There’s sugar next to you and milk in the fridge if you want any?”
Samandriel shook his head dazedly and she returned to the counter to mess with another couple of mugs before returning to sit next to his father, both of them staring at him hard, like they were starving for it.
The silence grew and Samandriel didn’t know how to break it, so he nervously added sugar to his tea, and took a sip.
Finally, his father broke the awkwardness with a throat clearing grunt before speaking. “It’s damn good to see you, son. What took you so long to come see us? The police told us they’d found you months ago. We didn’t want to push but… After so long, didn’t you want to be with your family again?”
Samandriel shook his head. “No... don’t... don’t call me son. Not... not yet.” He took a shaky breath, the teacup in his hand rattling slightly, adding to the tremor in his voice. “You don’t know me. I don’t know you. What if... You don’t actually like me?”
“Oh, Samuel —" Hannah said with bright determination, leaning forward to put down her teacup and reach for his arm.
He pulled back sharply. “It’s Alfie,” he repeated firmly. Something like an epiphany broke inside of him. He’d been answering to Alfie for years but had never been able to let go of Samandriel, and finally… finally… at the insistence that his name wasn’t what he’d thought it was… he finally realized why he’d clung to it so tenaciously.
Samuel. Samandriel. Naomi had a twisted sense of humor, and a devastating mind. She’d taken away his name and given him something so similar that even though he’d forgotten the names roots, he’d grabbed hold of it as a reminder of a past he couldn’t even remember. Of times that must have been happier for him to take hold of it so hard.
But that was the past. And neither of those were him. Not anymore. He couldn’t remember the boy who’d been Samuel, and he didn’t want to remember the life he’d had as Samandriel. He was Alfie.
And he knew, somehow, he had to get them to accept that part of himself, just as he had finally done.
“Sweetie, I know the cult –” she protested.
“Didn’t call me that!” Alfie interrupted angrily. “They called me Samandriel. Someone I care for very much gave me my new name when I... When I got away from Naomi. Gave me a new life and a fresh start. And I’m sorry, but I’m not this Samuel. I don’t remember him at all… I don’t remember you either, either of you. I’m sorry but… please don’t… “
He stood, tears in his eyes, his gut churning, suddenly overwhelmed. He should have let Benny come with him. “I can’t do this… I c-cant…” he gasped out, “I… I don’t think this is gonna work.” He set the teacup abruptly on the table with shaking hands, the tea spilling hotly and he swore, wiping his hands on his jeans and backing away.
“No – sweetie – wait!” His mother reached out pleadingly, lurching to her feet to chase after him, His father grabbing at her arm to stop her but it didn’t stop Alfie from flinching.
His voice shook nearly as bad as his hands were as he tried to ignore the hurt look in her eyes. “I don’t know you. I’m sorry, but I’m not your sweetie.”
“Please,” his dad said. “You’re absolutely right. Just… give us a chance – let us get to know you.”
She nodded, sniffling. “Please. We missed so much… we just want to be a family again. I – we want to make up for all the things you never had.”
Alfie swallowed and sat back down, his knees too wobbily too stand any longer. “Look… I’ve… they weren’t good people, you were right. And I’ve finally found a good place for myself. I’ve made myself a family and I’m happy. And if… if you can’t accept them, then I can’t be part of yours.”
“I don’t understand,” She looked between him and his father, confused. “If you’re happy, why wouldn’t we accept them?”
Alfie wanted to throw up. Coming out to a loved one wasn’t something he’d ever had to do and he didn’t know them. He read every day about families torn apart by a few simple words – supposedly good, loving families. He didn’t even have that as a protection here, what little protection it was for some folks. His hands wrung themselves together as much as he tried not to. “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll be okay with it. But I… my last family… they were…”
“We’re not them,” his father said firmly.
Nodding, Alfie’s hand went to his pocket. “I think… I think it’d be just easier to show you.” He pulled out his phone, thumbing it on. He turned it around to show them the picture already queued up. “That’s… That’s Benny.”
His mother took the phone and looked at the picture in silence for an all too long moment, Chuck leaning over to see what she was seeing. Alfie’s breath held. He already knew what they were seeing. He’d picked a picture of him and Benny together, something in which they were obviously a couple. Castiel had captured it that summer and it was… it was a great picture. Alfie had been in Benny’s lap, arms around each other, foreheads touching. They’d just kissed, and the firelight was glowing on their faces. It was just one of his many favorite pictures from the epic and life changing summer vacation he’d had.
That they’d had.
He wasn’t about to bring up Dean and Cas yet. Better to find out what they thought about him and Benny being together first. No sense in wasting his energy if they were going to flip about him being in love with a man.
“He looks handsome. Is he your boyfriend?” She asked finally. There didn’t seem to be any judgement in her voice and Alfie let out his breath, unable to help the sudden audible woosh he’d made.
“Yeah,” he choked out. His eyes darted to his father, who still hadn’t said anything.
Chuck looked up and smiled sadly. “You don’t have to be scared Samu – Alfie. He is a handsome fella. Guess you wouldn’t know it, but I’m actually bi, myself. You won’t get any judgement in this house. Not for this, I can promise.”
Hannah looked up from the phone then, her eyes filling with understanding. “Oh, sweetie… oh no wonder you were scared to meet us. Next time, why don’t you bring Benny with you?”
“Really?” he asked. His eyes went wide as he stared at them in a mixture of disbelief and hope. Benny had been right. Alfie had just needed to give them a chance.
Before he knew it, he was wrapped in their arms and sobbing into his mother’s hair as he shook. She soothed him, humming something that he had no name for but seemed… it was familiar. It evoked a memory and he gasped as it flooded through him. It was vague, but the sense of family, of being loved and held just like this filled him.
Benny was waiting for him in his truck outside at 3, just like he’d promised. Alfie lingered at the door as he said farewell to his parents – his real parents – and turned to walk down the path. A hand snagged his shirt sleeve and he turned to find his parents staring at the truck.
“Is that him?” Hannah asked. She turned to him as he nodded and she smiled, tentatively. “Could we… could you introduce us?”
He nodded again and turned back towards the truck to find Benny watching them. Alfie gestured at him, his heart pounding unsurely. A few seconds later, the truck turned off and the door creaked open. Benny stepped out, his feet hitting the ground with a heavy thunk before he slammed the door shut again and made his way up the walk. He doffed his hat, glancing uncertainly from Alfie to Alfie’s parents and back again.
“Mr. and Mrs. Shurley,” he said warily, giving them a nod.
“Oh, it’s just Chuck and Hannah. We don’t stand too much on formality here,” his father said with a grin. “S- Alfie’s been telling us about you. I’m glad you met our boy. Thank you. For being there for him.”
Benny blushed faintly and shifted his weight a bit. “Aww… it weren’t no problem. Alfie deserves it,” he said, his accent getting thick the way it always did when he was nervous. “He deserves a hell of a lot.”
He looked at Alfie questioningly and Alfie nodded, grabbing Benny’s hand and threading their fingers together. Benny relaxed and the smile he gave was his normal, charming and heartwarming self.
His mother smiled – and promptly threw her arms around Benny and Alfie combined. Alfie let out a squeak of surprise – he still couldn’t get used to how freely she expressed herself! – and it took him a few seconds to relax into it. Benny, he could tell, was taken as much by surprise as he’d been.
Chuck chuckled. “I’d get used to that. She’s got 20 years’ worth of hugs saved up.”
The chuckles died off and he looked at them all more soberly, even as Hannah pulled away, reluctant as it seemed she was to do so. There were tears in her eyes again and she surreptitiously wiped at them with her sleeve.
“Look,” Chuck said. “I won’t pretend we all will be great friends or even family straight off. But I can speak for my wife and I when I say we want to try. Please, don’t hesitate to call or visit at any time. If you want to say hi, or just talk to get to know us some more or even if you need something. We’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for but… we don’t want to throw even more of a wrench into your life than this whole thing already is – but -”
“But we are more than ready to be a part of your life, if you’ll let us,” she finished for him.
Alfie smiled at them tentatively. Everything from this afternoon, once past the initial hurdle, had been promising. And that moment he’d broke down in her arms had felt like an epiphany.
“I’d like that,” he said softly.
They finished their farewells somewhat awkwardly. Neither of his parents obviously wanted him to go but were true to their word about not forcing him into anything and letting him set the pace.
He climbed into the truck and Benny pulled away from the curb a moment later. They sat in silence for a while as Alfie tried to take everything in.
“Are you all right, cher?” Benny asked softly, finally breaking the silence.
“I… I think I am,” Alfie breathed. “I was so afraid to meet them that I’d built up this… this bogeyman in my head. And they turned out so, so different than I’d feared. I’m sure they’re not perfect but, then, neither am I.”
He turned to face Benny, the strong profile watching the road as he drove, flicking only quick glances at Alfie. “There was no hesitation at all when I told them about you,” Alfie said, reaching across to touch Benny’s thigh. It was a soft touch. He didn’t want to distract. “In fact, they were just… happy that I was happy. They just wanted to make sure you treated me well. And Chuck – Dad, I guess – he’s bi.”
“So they really don’t have a problem with that. That’s wonderful, cher,” Benny said, flashing him a quick grin. “I’m sure glad this worked out so well for you. Like I said to your parents, you deserve it.”
Alfie smiled and settled back in his seat, and under Benny’s questions, told him all about the afternoon.
Okay, so there's one thing i've been rather consistant on since the first story and that is, all Alfie POV's have him narrating as Samandriel.
I've had this shift planned since super early in the last fic but NONE of the places ever felt RIGHT for it. In my mind, it's Alfie finally accepting himself as he is and letting his past go. that doesn't mean the problems go away,, but it's a step forward for him. But every time I tried to find a logical place for the shift, i kept having to put it off.
by the time i got to THIS fic, i kinda gave up on it... and then I wrote this chapter and it finally hit me....
it was PERFECT. There's a significant enough event that has to do with his whole identity that made the most reasonable place for this shift to finally take place.
(also, i'm tired of trying ot type out samandriel on my phone when i get ideas in the middle of the night lol)
Chapter 8: Moving Day
Finally, it's moving day. A day filled with all sorts of anxieties and nervousness - as well as hope for new starts.
Finally ! the moment you've all been waiting for...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Dean parked the Impala in the driveway of their new home with a tired sigh. He was getting too old for drives like these. And it hadn’t even been that long of a drive. He was going to just have to face it, he was just getting too old period.
Not that he was ever going to admit that to Sam.
He climbed out of the car with creaking limbs that rivaled the creaks in the driver’s side door and he winced. At both creaking sounds. He definitely needed to give Baby some tender loving care after that road trip.
Stretching his back, he felt the pops run all the way up his spine.
He turned as the moving truck pulled in behind him, Cas having taken that extra time to angle the truck to back it in. The plan was to empty the Impala first, then pull her into the garage so that they’d have clear space for pulling furniture out of the truck while Sam parked Cas’s continental out on the street.
Dean waited till the truck came to a complete stop, then met Cas at the door as it swung open. With a slight grimace, Cas slid down out of the truck and Dean quickly stepped forward to pull his husband into his arms.
“Hey babe,” Dean said softly, kissing Cas lightly before pulling back. “How was the rest of the drive?”
“Mmmm… not quite as fun without a co-pilot,” Cas said. “I’m glad that’s done.”
They stood there in each other’s arms, just enjoying the five-minute breather before they got to work on unpacking everything. Dean was hoping to get the truck all unloaded by tonight so they could drop it off at the nearest U-Haul as fast as possible.
He leaned forward for another kiss when a horn honking from the street pulled them away from each other. Dean pulled away and laughed with a quick glance at the road.
“Looks like Uncle Bobby just arrived too. Perfect timing. Ready to do this?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. But ready to get it over with? Yes,” Cas agreed.
Reluctantly, Dean let his arms fall completely – he never liked letting go of Cas – but he eagerly turned to greet his uncle, whom he’d seen in longer than he’d liked. Sam had stepped up beside Bobby, looking like the drive hadn’t worn him out at all.
“Hey guys! Ready to get sweaty?” Dean grinned at them as they made their way over to Dean and Cas.
“You wish, boy. I brought the pizza. I’m here to make sure you idjits don’t kill yourselves trying to take on more than you can handle,” Bobby said.
“C’mere,” Dean said hoarsely, pulling his uncle into a rough hug. “It’s good to see you, Bobby.”
“Good to see you too, Dean,” Bobby said gruffly. He squeezed tight, then quickly let go.
“Dude, where’s my hug?” Sam joked.
Dean slapped his arm. “What, like you didn’t get one of those yesterday?”
Within seconds, Sam and Dean were wrestling with each other, each of them fighting to get the upper hand and put the other into a headlock. Sam was a bit rougher, and soon Dean was on his back on the hard pavement.
“Hey, ya moose, easy there or you’ll have to do all the heavy lifting,” Dean joked.
Sam rolled his eyes, getting off of Dean and to his feet. “Oh yeah, you’re sooooo old, Dean.”
“Better believe it,” Dean said with a grin, knowing the words would be taken as the joke they were and not an actual admittance. Sam laughed and Dean held his hand out. “Now, c’mon, help me up.”
With one last back slapping pat, Dean led the way to the Impala and opened the trunk, noting that Cas had already reached the front door with Jude’s cat carrier in hand and was pulling out their new house keys – an actual house! Dean couldn’t help the gleeful and still disbelieving thought.
Emptying the Impala was the easy part. It was all the fragile stuff that they’d been too afraid of putting in the moving truck and Dean directed Sam and Bobby – who was helping, despite what he’d said – to put all those boxes into one of the spare rooms at the top of the stairs while Cas went about the house making sure the water and electricity were on as promised and all the doors were opened.
Then it was time to tackle the moving truck.
Dean opened the garage and pulled Baby inside, looking around at the space with a critical eye. There was a lot he could do here. The upkeep on Baby would be easy and the garage was big enough for a second car. Which was good, cause Cas’s continental was an eyesore he wouldn’t want to punish his new neighbors with.
Luckily for them, Sam had insisted on flying out to meet them, and then driven Cas’s car so they had a spare driver for the truck without having to fiddle with any hitches. Dean wouldn’t ever do that to his baby and he was afraid Cas’s car might fall apart if they did it to his. And while driving solo hadn’t been fun for any of them, with hands free phones, it was doable.
He came back out of the garage in time to see Sam rolling the truck door open. Under Cas’s guidance, Dean and Sam shifted things out of the truck and onto the grass, unburying the furniture. It was hours of hot, sweaty labor, with a single break for the lunch Bobby had provided.
They didn’t dare take more or longer breaks – they had a date planned for later, after all.
While Sam and Dean carried furniture into the house with Cas helping guide their steps or provide another hand if needed, Bobby turned to unloading some of the kitchen boxes that had found their way inside around the furniture.
“Man’s got his priorities straight,” Dean huffed as they carried their couch past the kitchen door.
“Dean, shift a little to your right. No, your right, not mine,” Cas called as Dean backed his way down the hall. Dean grunted as he followed Cas’s directions.
Finally, the only big thing left was their custom bed. The frame was the easy part. It was the mattress and boxspring that needed to get manhandled off the truck bed, onto a set of rollers and into the house. It took all three of them to get it up the stairs, Bobby following after them with the rollers so they could set it back down and more easily make it down the hall to the master bedroom.
“Don’t see why you need a bed that big,” Bobby groused. “Seems more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Honestly, it more than makes up for the trouble,” Dean said. “Definitely worth it.”
“Ewww… I really don’t need to hear about your sexcapades,” Sam said, shooting Dean a bitch face.
“Speaking of, I went down to that diner a few weeks back,” Bobby said from the door, standing against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest.
Dean’s heart leapt as he looked at Bobby, the conversation he’d had with his uncle some time back still clear in his mind. It had been awkward, to say the least, and he hadn’t known exactly how Bobby would take the whole poly thing Cas and Dean had going on. it wasn’t exactly on the list of normal conversation topics and wasn’t something most of the general populace Dean had ever met even considered as anything other than selfish. Adulterer had been flung at his face more than a few times. The best he’d gotten from someone who didn’t understand was ‘weird’ but he’d take it.
But from Bobby? He needed something more understanding. Especially if he and Cas were going to actually pursue things with Benny and Alfie. Bobby and Sam lived here, there would be no hiding what was going on and to be honest, Dean didn’t want to hide.
Thankfully, Bobby’s reaction had been confused but along the lines of, “Don’t fuck it up.”
“Oh yeah?” Dean tried to ask as nonchalantly as he could, like he wasn’t hanging on every word coming out of his uncles’ mouth. “What’d you think?”
“Foods good. Owner and his boyfriend are real friendly like. You two could do worse,” Bobby grunted. He dropped his hands and stomped down the hall – not an angry stomp, just Bobby’s normal modus operandi – and Dean relaxed. That was pretty much Bobby’s seal of approval.
“What’s this?” Sam asked.
“Nothin’, Sam. Thought you didn’t want to hear about our sex life?” Dean teased. Sam already knew about Dean and Cas’s tendency to seek out partners outside of their marriage so he had no worries on that front.
Embarrassing little brothers, though, was a pastime he’d never give up.
“Dean,” Cas chided. He turned to Sam. “We’re not sure yet if anything will come of this, but we met up with a sweet couple at the festival this summer. We all four really hit it off and were thinking of seeing if something more permanent could work out – something that will be more easily pursued since they live here in Sioux Falls.”
“Whoa! That’s quite a coincidence,” Sam said excitedly. “Anyone I know? Wait, the diner? Benny’s diner? You mean, Benny and Alfie?”
“Yeah, Benny and Alfie. That a problem?” Dean asked defensively
“No! I just mean… Alfie? How on earth did you pull that one off?”
Dean shrugged. “I dunno, by accident? Sort of? It was a… very intense week.”
“Tell me you guys at least left your tents to see the festival?” Sam asked.
“Of course we did!” Dean protested. “Dude, it was intense for a lot of reasons, not just that. Though, that was pretty damn intense too.”
“No! I said no, Dean!” Sam covered his ears and left the room.
“You asked!” Dean shouted after him.
“Dean, my love,” Cas chided once more.
“What? He did…” Dean trailed off when Cas turned him about to kiss him. Dean melted into the kiss, pressing for more, only for Cas to pull away.
“Come. Sam and Bobby are still in the house. Later, I promise,” Cas said.
“Fine,” Dean huffed. They headed downstairs together, meeting Sam and Bobby by the moving truck. The bed had been the last of the furniture and all that was left were a bunch of boxes. Soon enough, even those were gone and Bobby and Sam were leaving.
Dean fell back onto the long buy lonely couch in the living room with a floomph and a groan. “Goddamn but I’m tired…”
“Really?” Cas said above him. “Too tired to test the water pressure in the upstairs bathroom?”
Dean’s eyes snapped open. “Now, when you say ‘test the water pressure’, do you really mean test the water pressure or test the water pressure?” he said, waggling his eyebrows.
Cas stared down at him, unimpressed. “Guess if you want to know, you’ll need to follow me to find out.”
Licking his lips, Dean watched Cas walk away.
Hell, even if there was no hanky panky, he sure as hell could use a shower to wash off all the grime and sweat from their all day moving event.
He scrambled up off the couch and followed after. Each room he passed was a cacophony of boxes. Out of the three bedrooms upstairs, only the master at the end of the hall had any furniture. The other two were lined with boxes. Their last place hadn’t been big enough for a lot of furniture which meant they had a bunch of bookcases, a small kitchen table and a few chairs, a single couch, the entertainment center, a dresser, a trunk they used to use as a coffee table and a couple of end tables and, of course, the piece de resistance – their bed.
That thing had been a nightmare to pull off, but as Dean had insisted earlier to Sam, it was worth it.
Especially if this thing with Benny and Alfie did wind up going somewhere permanent.
Dean reached the top of the stairs and followed the sound of running water – not like he could get lost here, the place was big but didn’t have a ton of nooks and crannies – to find Cas already stripped down and standing beside the tub, testing the water temperature and adjusting as needed.
“Heh,” Dean said, stopping to lean in the open doorway and admire his husbands naked physique – the strong, thick muscles in his thighs and arms, the feathered wings tattooed across his back and arms, the swell and dip of his ass.
“Would you stop staring at my ass and help? I think the towels are all still packed away…” Cas called over his shoulder.
“Dude, if the bathroom wasn’t ready, why’d you get undressed? Not that I’m complaining, anyway,” Dean said with one final look before heading towards the bedroom.
He stopped to check on Jude who was set up in the closet as the safest spot at the moment and had thankfully fallen asleep. Leaving the door open, he double checked the baby gate was secure. That had been a goddamn lifesaver when Alfie had suggested it during their last skype session and Cas had mentioned his worry about Jude getting hurt or lost during the move to the new house.
Knowing she was safe, Dean continued his mission.
The towels turned out to be in the first box he checked inside, as were most of their bathroom toiletries. Thank goodness for Cas’s organizing. Dean would have just shoved shit wherever it fit.
He snagged the bunch and headed back just as the sound of the water shifted to that of the shower pattering the walls and the tub. The sound shifted again and he knew Cas had stepped under the spray even before Dean had rounded the corner to see him, the glass door of the shower left half open invitingly.
Threading the towels into the towel rack, Dean passed Cas a washcloth and the soap, setting the shampoo in the corner before stripping himself and quickly joining Cas under the hot, hot spray.
“Mmmm….” Dean hummed instantly, his eyes slipping shut. “Oh, that’s… that’s good water pressure.”
“It is indeed,” Cas agreed. Dean heard the door sliding shut and then the two of them stood there, letting the water wash away the sweat and pound on their sore shoulders for several moments before Cas nudged Dean to turn, thoroughly soaking his hair under one of the two showerheads.
The size of the rooms, the size of the bathroom and the master bath and shower specifically, had been one of the selling points of the house, and the double shower heads an absolute bonus, considering that it wasn’t always just the two of them. Finding a set up like this had been difficult, and sure, they may have wound up with a few too many rooms, but given time, Dean and Cas were both sure to find some use for them all.
And right now, they were making use of the double showerhead in a shower/bath combo big enough for multiple people.
Cas threaded his hands through Dean’s hair as soon as it was wet enough to add shampoo and Dean had to stop himself from melting backwards into Cas’s chest. Cas massaged and scratched Dean’s scalp, and Dean luxuriated in it with a long sigh.
“God, babe, that feels freakin’ awesome,” Dean managed.
The fingers shifted as the shampoo was rinsed clear, and Cas’s long fingers danced down his neck and along Dean’s shoulders, digging in here and there at a persistent knot, caressing lovingly over the heart and feather tattoo Dean had gotten just that summer…
At the music festival…
Where they’d met Benny and Alfie…
“This gonna work?” Dean blurted all of a sudden, groaning as Cas’s thumbs dug into the small of his back.
“The shower?” Cas asked. “Seems like it’s working just fine to me.”
“No… I mean… Benny and Alfie,” Dean said, too relaxed to do much else, though nervousness had started to tickle at his stomach. “I do wish you’d tied me up today.”
“Dean, no. I’m not comfortable to wrapping you in ropes and then subjecting you to long car rides and a lot of physical exertion,” Cas protested. “I know it makes you feel less anxious but we still need to be safe while doing it and wearing the ropes for that long makes me uneasy.”
Turning, Dean grabbed both of Cas’s hands. “I know. I’m just nervous. We’ve never tried something long term like this. Are you sure we can do this? Are you sure this is gonna work out? What if it doesn’t?”
Don’t fuck it up, echoed in Dean’s head.
“My love,” Cas said, leaning in to press a kiss to Dean’s lips. “Do you want this?”
“Yeah,” Dean breathed.
“Then breathe and let it happen. All we can do is try, all right?” Cas asked, his eyes peering deeply into Dean’s and making Dean’s breath catch. Dean let go of Cas’s hands and grasped Cas’s waist, feeling water pool in the crevices where their flesh met.
“Yeah, babe,” Dean croaked.
“Good,” Cas murmured against Dean’s lips before kissing Dean slow and deep, his hands wandering to Dean’s ass and pulling him in close. Dean gasped into Cas’s mouth as their cocks met, sliding wetly against each other and lighting him up.
Cas’s fingers gripped Dean’s ass, massaging the flesh, pulling and pushing and sending delicious thrills shivering through Deans body. He wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and pushed close, rocking their hips together with a moan that Cas easily swallowed in another deep kiss. Dean’s hands tangled in Cas’s hair, tugging gently – always gently – while Cas backed up carefully till he was braced against the wall, pulling Dean against him. Their eyes slipped shut against the water pounding down their bodies, droplets flowing down Deans back and dripping into the crack of his ass every time Cas pulled his cheeks apart, exposing Dean’s hole.
With a whine, Dean tilted Cas’s head and plunged his tongue into Cas’s mouth, sparks running through his body with each rolling thrust of their hips together, each slide of their lengths, hot and hard.
Cas eased away, peppering kisses along Dean’s jaw and murmuring into Dean’s ear. “Easy, my love,” he soothed. Dean panted hard, mouthing at the skin of Cas’s shoulder where it joined his neck, rubbing his face against the thicker than normal growth on Cas’s jaw.
A finger dipped down, following the trail of water, circling his hole before popping in just slightly and Dean’s hips stuttered in Cas’s hands.
With a quiet, “Oh, fuck…” Dean came across Cas’s belly, his knees weak enough that only Cas’s arms kept him standing. He would have blushed if he hadn’t already come to terms long ago with the fact that sometimes, Cas could make him come like a teenager who’d never had sex.
After breathing in deep for a few seconds, Dean slid his hands away from Cas’s neck, down his arms and dropped to his knees before Cas’s still hard cock.
He kept his eyes half lidded against the water running down his face and rained light, teasing kisses along the hard length bobbing and twitching before his eyes. With a wide grin, Dean settled his hands on Cas’s thighs and swerved around his husbands cock, licking up the come on Cas’s stomach with a hum.
There wasn’t much. The water pressure was good, and it worked fast. The muscles in Cas’s stomach fluttered beneath each lick as Dean worked his way back around to Cas’s dick, and without warning, Dean sunk down on the thick cock.
Cas shouted, his head hitting the wet, tiled wall with a soft thud, his hands reaching out to brace himself – one landing against the wall, the other on the top of Dean’s head. Dean pushed into the touch for a second before swallowing down and sucking hard. Cas’s dick twitched in Dean’s mouth as he spent extra attention to massaging the head with his lips and tongue, before engulfing the whole thing in his mouth once more and drawing back, repeating it over and over with a twist of his tongue here, a twist and suck there and –
“Ohhhhh... oh, oh, oh, God,” Cas whimpered. “Oh… I’m… mmnnnnnh….”
Dean swallowed as Cas came, licking away the dribbles from the corner of his mouth before the shower could wash it away.
Cas pulled him back to his feet and into a languid, lazy kiss that devolved into a series of short, wet kisses before Dean hummed, feeling the strength returning to his knees.
“All right, turn around so I can get your hair,” Dean said softly. “Then after this, whattya say we get something to eat?”
“At the Roadhouse, or Benny’s Diner?” Cas asked, his normal gravely voice just a little more hoarse than it had been before. Dean paused, surprised by the question. He’d thought it already settled that they’d be going to Benny’s, but then he realized with a wave of fondness, that this was Cas’s way of letting Dean know he could still change his mind, no pressure from him.
“Where do you think?” Dean asked, pouring shampoo into his hands.
Cas looked over his shoulder and reached back, stilling Dean’s hand.
Dean nodded. “I have.”
As you can see, I MADE A MAP! I love making maps :D
hahah, so, it's not to scale but I had fun making this over my Christmas break. which is when i was writing this chapter originally. not that some of the chapters before it were even ready but, that's how i write sometimes - just a little out of order. Sometimes focusing on a scene later helps me figure out the gaps between...
Note.... the ?? bedroom is because there is something i plan to do with the room - but I don't want to spoil the surprise. and i feel like i can say that because i can immedietly think of 3 things off the top of my head for that room and that means y'all will be absolutely guessing :D
Chapter 9: New Folks in Town
The diner has not one, not two, but three visitors that are going to change the way things are.
I debated putting this chapter up tonight. we're catching up fast to the completed chapters though i have a lot of other work I've done , not all of them are ready yet, and i should probably keep the buffer but i'm tired and i decided not to agonize over it too much.
“Benny!” Alfie ran into the kitchen breathless, his eyes alight. “Come quick!”
“Hold your horses, cher,” Benny said with a chuckle, wiping his hands off on his apron and nodding at the other cook. Julian flung him a salute and Benny turned back to Alfie. “What’s going on? What’s got you so excited?”
Alfie’s eyes twinkled. “We’ve got guests.”
Well of course they had guests, it was a diner after all – wait – “Not – “ Benny’s breath caught and a slow smile spread over his face as Alfie nodded.
Benny eagerly let Alfie pull him out of the kitchen and through the swinging doors.
And there they were.
A little tired but with happy faces – Dean’s smile broad and his teeth gleaming while Cas’s was more subdued, only the crinkle around his eyes truly giving him away – Dean and Cas were settled at the counter, in the flesh at last.
Benny wasted no time in hurrying around to greet them, Alfie right on his heels
“Dean! Cas!” Benny couldn’t help but exclaim as he wrapped each man in a hug in turn, Alfie laughing and squeezing in to follow suit. They both pulled back and the four of them just stared at each other with stupid grins on their faces (at least, Benny was relatively sure his was just as stupidly happy as the others were). “How was the trip? All moved in yet? Our offer still stands, if ya need it,” he said, pointing between himself and Alfie.
“Nah, we’ve pretty much got all the big stuff done and the moving truck is already empty. It’s just the little shit left now, and you know we’ll probably spend months unpacking the boxes,” Dean said dismissively. “But thanks anyway.”
“Well then, how about some food? I bet you two worked up an appetite and we can sure help with that. Order anything you want – on the house,” Benny said.
“Nah, we couldn’t take advantage like that – this is your livelihood, man,” Dean protested.
“Nonsense. At the very least, it’s a welcome to town dinner, so it’s on the house whether you like it or not,” Benny insisted.
Dean’s mouth opened to protest again and Cas laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sure we’ll like whatever you make for us, and we’ll accept the kind and generous offer, won’t we, Dean?”
Chuckling, Dean agreed and Benny supplied them with food, watching happily as Dean moaned around the first mouthful and also chuckling when Cas rolled his eyes at him before catching Benny’s.
“While I may not be a vulgar as Dean, it is very good, Benny,” he said.
Benny grinned and slapped the counter. “It’s good to see you two. You must be tired with all the moving. What say, me and Alfie, we throw you a private welcome party tonight at our place after we close up for the night?”
“What, private party?” Dean chucked around a mouthful of food. “You must have really missed us.”
Benny blushed and hoped the beard covered most of it. “Aye, maybe we have.”
“Well, in that case, I say it’s a date,” Dean grinned back, winking.
Benny looked over at Cas who nodded. “I wouldn’t be averse to getting together in a more private setting than this,” Cas said in his gravelly tones.
“Then it’s settled. We close up at 10 – is that too late?” Benny asked, suddenly worrying at his lip. Alfie’s hand slipped into his and squeezed reassuringly and Benny smiled over at him, squeezing back.
“Nah, that’s plenty of time, actually. We’re planning to stop in and say hi to a few folks after we leave here, then back to the house and get a little more unpacking in,” Dean said, swallowing around his food.
“Should we meet back here, then?” Cas asked.
“Probably be best, in case we run into delays while closing,” Benny said. “Well, I gotta get back to the kitchen.”
Reluctantly, Benny parted, leaving Alfie with Cas and Dean, but already looking forward to later that night. Only a few more hours to go.
Those hours seemed to drag by but at least he was able to keep himself busy doing something he loved. About an hour to go, he started prepping food to make and take home, his spirits buoyed by the idea of actually getting to spend time with Dean and Cas and Alfie all in one place again.
It was strange.
Benny was exhausted, absolutely dead on his feet, but the prospect of seeing Dean and Cas properly later that night lightened his steps as he went through the long familiar routines of his kitchen, every action like a well-practiced dance.
Almost immediately he stopped, guilt flushing through him.
He'd been so absolutely drained and worn out from being shorthanded at the diner that he hadn't been giving Alfie nearly as much as attention as Benny used to – and he loved showering Alfie with attention, both domestically and sexually - and suddenly the conversation from the other night came to mind.
Benny had, he hoped, soothed Alfie's worries about him no longer being enough for Benny, but now... what if Benny's reaction to Dean and Cas being here was enough to bring back those doubts? He absolutely loved Alfie with everything he was, and he was in no way bored with him, but would Alfie believe that?
The thought made his blood run cold.
He thought back over the past few weeks, and realized that he’d been the worst boyfriend ever. A chill ran through him. He hadn’t made enough time for Alfie. A lot of their time together had been sleeping or working together at the diner. When was the last time they’d sat down for a movie and a cuddle? Gone out for a nice walk? Or had sex?
Benny’s only recent memory was a fantastic blowjob from Alfie just a few nights before and… nothing else. Alfie was used to a much more active sex life and Benny had been ignoring him. Even the blowjob had been initiated by Alfie.
He’d been neglecting Alfie this whole time. It’s no wonder he thought he wasn’t enough for me, Benny thought miserably, his hands slowing in his work. When I got no time for him, what else is he gonna think?
With that in mind, was meeting with Dean and Cas, and possibly resuming something between them all, the wisest idea? Would Alfie just take it to mean that he wasn’t enough for Benny?
Alfie’s arms slipped around him from behind, startling him almost, Alfie’s head resting against his back and Benny paused and hummed, relaxing and leaning back slightly despite his churning thoughts.
“How you feelin’, Alfie?” he asked.
“Was gonna ask you the same thing, bear,” Alfie said. Benny chuckled, making Alfie shake against his back.
“I’m a little nervous, gotta admit…” Benny turned in Alfie’s arms after eyeing the food critically and assessing it would be safe to do so, then wondering how to broach the topic on his mind – or if he should. “I hope you don’t mind I invited them back already? I didn’t mean to imply that… we would be having sex. I was just eager to see them. We don’t have to do anything, you know that right?”
“I’m perfectly okay with them coming over tonight. I’m excited too and…” Alfie bit his lip, looking down shyly. “I figured nothing would be happening so quickly, but if it does,” he looked back up with smoldering eyes and Benny’s breath hitched. “I’m more than okay with it.”
“Lord, cher,” Benny leaned down and nuzzled at Alfie’s neck. “I don’t know how I ever did anythin’ to deserve you.”
Alfie gently pushed at his jaw till Benny lifted his head and they stared into each other’s eyes. “Everything, Benny,” he whispered, his mouth reaching up to latch on to Benny’s, the kiss lasting so long that it was only Benny’s finely tuned nose that drew him away, flushing.
“Git on, you, before I burn our dinner,” Benny said, aiming a light swat to Alfie’s ass. Alfie giggled and Benny had to force himself to turn his attention back to his food instead of watching him walk away.
Benny stared down at the food with a long sigh before he forced his hands to move again, trying to get lost in his work and drown his worries.
Alfie, at least, seemed okay with everything. Maybe Benny was overthinking things.
Maybe Andrea had fucked him up more than he’d thought.
Not for the first time, he wondered if he should start seeing Missouri himself, but it was physically impossible to do that just now, not without neglecting Alfie even further.
If he could just get some help at the diner… damn Cuthbert for quitting like that anyhow.
It was almost closing time when the door chimed again. Benny sighed. Guess it would be a late night after all.
Unless that was Dean and Cas coming back as planned. They could simply be early, planning to offer to help clean up, which of course Benny wouldn’t be accepting. Not after the really long day they must have had.
Brushing off his hands, Benny poked his head out of the kitchen to find that it wasn’t Dean nor Cas that had returned, but some shorter guy with a lollipop in his mouth and his hands shoved into his pants, giving the diner a long, calculating look as he strolled inside slowly.
Benny’s eyes narrowed and his gut told him there was something odd about the guy, but he couldn’t place what. He sure as hell hoped Mr. Lollipop wasn’t casing the diner. Benny’s eyes slid to the side, checking to see what he had in reach and his heart leapt into his throat when he watched Alfie approach the other man with no fear in his step.
Grabbing the baseball bat he kept close to the doors on purpose – Benny didn’t like guns – he got a good grip on it, ready to tear out of there the instant Mr. Lollipop did something he didn’t like.
The man smirked at Alfie around the lollipop and reached into his pocket - and Benny tensed, his free hand reaching to shove the doors open – only to come away with a torn piece of paper in his hand. Alfie took it and then turned suddenly, beaming widely and waving Benny over when he spotted Benny lurking at the window.
Setting the bat down, Benny took a breath and pushed through the doors more calmly than he’d previously expected.
Alfie ran over to him, the other man following more slowly.
“Benny! He’s here about our ad!” Alfie said, excitement rolling off of him in waves as he shoved the torn paper – from that mornings paper, as a matter of fact – into Benny’s hand.
Oh. Well then, now he felt a tad guilty for assuming the guy was up to no good. If he was a man who took any pride in his work, Mr. Lollipop was probably deciding if the place was decent enough to work at. Who could blame him? Benny had done the same a time or two before he opened up his own place. If the dining area wasn’t clean, he never even gave it a shot, because the kitchen was sure to be even worse.
“Rich, this is Benny. He owns the place and he’s the head cook. Benny, this is Rich Prakkara, he’s here for the cook position,” Alfie pushed out in a single breath.
“Whoa there, cher, slow down,” Benny said with a laugh. “You finish out here, flip the sign but don’t lock the doors, and I’ll talk with Mr. Prakkara.”
“Please, just Rich will do,” Rich said, his jovial voice – at odds with his haunted eyes - blurred round the lollipop.
“All right,” Benny clapped his hands together, thinking quickly. “Well, we got some plans tonight, so why don’t you come back and talk while I clean up?”
“Sounds good, boss,” Rich said, smirking.
“Hey, now, we ain’t established yet if I’m hiring you,” Benny said, amused at the cocky attitude before him.
“Hmm…” Rich popped the lollipop out of his mouth, his voice getting clearer instantly. “I’m pretty sure you will. I asked around and it sounds like you been looking for a while. How many other applicants you got?” Rich said, following Benny behind the counter and into the kitchen.
“Well, to be fair, none, but I ain’t taking on anyone who’s gonna poison the custom through sheer incompetence either,” Benny pointed out.
“Fair enough,” Rich acceded. “So without further ado – a list of references.”
Shoving the lollipop back into his mouth – Benny was wondering if that was a permanent fixture for him – Rich pulled one side of his green canvas jacket open and withdrew two sheets of wrinkled, folded papers, handing them over with a nonchalant flick of his hand. The first proved to be a resume, very simply typed out – in Comic Sans with rainbow colors. Benny felt his eyebrows climb into his hair. He scanned it quickly, flipping it over and then checking the second sheet. The second sheet was just a list of restaurants, names and numbers.
Benny even knew some of them.
The list was pretty long, being squished into three columns side by side and taking up both sides of the paper.
“You worked a lot of places,” Benny noted. “Don’t seem to stick anywhere for longer than three months. There a reason for that if you’re good enough I want to hire?”
Rich shrugged. “I like to travel, see the world. Haven’t found the place that feels like home yet. Maybe I never will, but I won’t settling for less than that. I make enough that my needs are met and move on to the next place. Besides, it’s winter, and I hate traveling in the winter.”
Benny looked it over again, then back to the top of the first page, his eyes catching on the cell phone listed there. “That current?”
“Yup,” Rich said, pulling out the lollipop once more and popping the “p”.
“Good. Let me check a few of these places out and I’ll get back to you, likely tomorrow afternoon. Day after at the latest. It’s a little late to be callin’ folks tonight. But one thing –" Benny paused, fixing Rich with a serious look. “If I do hire you, and you decide you want to move on, you need to stick around long enough to get a replacement. Deal?”
“As long as you’re not dicking me around and telling me you’re looking when you’re not,” Rich said, his voice going deadly serious. “Then deal. But if you are, I’ll be gone faster than you can say…” Rich’s voice trailed off and he fixed Benny with a stare, making an exaggerated finger pointing gesture.
The silence grew and Rich stuck the lollipop back into his mouth.
“You didn’t say anything,” Benny drawled finally, amused at the implications of that. If he hired this guy on, the kitchen would likely never be dull.
“Exactly,” Rich said with a wink. “See ya tomorrow!” he gave Benny a mock salute, turned on his heels and left, leaving Benny to chuckle over the odd character.
Still, he looked down at the papers again, he hoped this panned out. Especially with Dean and Cas around now, he could use the return of flexibility in his schedule.
He walked to his office, pinning the papers to the corkboard above his computer. It would be tomorrows first item of business as he prepped for the days start. He returned to the kitchen and cleaned his station. It was late enough that no new customers would be coming in, their food was ready to go on the counter, and Alfie would be taking care of the last patrons in the dining area.
Soon enough, they’d be meeting Dean and Cas for the second time that day and finally getting a real reunion.
Chapter 10: Reconnecting
Everyone's nervous about their first real one on one time since the festival.
Okay, okay, so THIS is probably the moment you've all been waiting for. Yes? No? XD
Alfie opened the door to the apartment, grateful that, small as it was, they kept it fairly clean and organized so there was nothing to be ashamed of. He stepped through the door and toed off his boots and gestured Dean and Cas inside, Benny following them in, each of them carrying a take-out container.
“So, it’s not much,” Benny said. “But it does the job. Open living room and kitchen here – “ he pointed across the room to the three doors in the wall. “Bedroom on left, bathroom in the center and a place to hang your coats on the right. Annnnd, that’s it. The penny tour.”
“I thought it was a ‘nickel’ tour?” Cas mused, tilting his head.
“Usually, yes. But our place is too small for a nickel tour, so we downgraded it,” Alfie said, kicking the door closed behind him.
“Cute,” Dean said.
“Do you all mind if we eat in the living room? We don’t actually have a table. So it’s that or the counter,” he said, pointing out the tall counter that was the closest thing to a wall between the two rooms. “We could put on a movie?”
Alfie watched Benny scratching his head and turning to look through the movie shelf and he sighed.. It was strange because normally it was him who was freaking out about things but seeing Benny nervous too, Alfie wasn’t sure what to do with that.
“You’re overthinking it, bear,” Alfie said. “Just come and sit down.”
“Yeah, Benny, promise we don’t bite – unless you ask us too,” Dean called from the couch as he dropped into it.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Benny said, allowing Alfie to drag him back towards Dean and Cas.
“It’s all right, Benny,” Cas said. “We had a rather unusual summer, and then we parted ways. We’re all on unequal footing right now until we can find our way again. Are we merely friends or something more? Only time will tell, and its understandable that any or all of us are a little nervous.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Benny said, “That makes sense.”
Benny sat on one end of the couch, Alfie sliding in beside him before popping back up to grab the food containers he’d set down. He passed one to Dean and one to Cas, another to Benny and bounced off to the kitchen to get them utensils.
“Hey, you guys want something to drink? We got some ginger ale and some beer – nothing fancy, just generic – and of course water is always an option. I think I drank the last of the home brewed iced tea earlier,” Alfie called from the fridge.
“Water would be fine,” Cas called back as Dean jumped up to give him his seat. Cas settled down in his place at the other end of the couch. “Though I wouldn’t mind trying the ice tea sometime.”
“Let me help,” Dean said, his voice getting close again as he followed Alfie into the kitchen. They returned shortly with a bottle in each hand, Alfie handing Benny a beer and keeping a water for himself as Dean did the opposite with Cas.
Alfie eyed Cas and Dean as he snuggled next to Benny and passed out the forks. Since the couch was only big enough for three of them to sit side by side, Alfie was in the center between Benny and Cas while Dean lounged on the floor, leaning up against Cas’s legs, his takeout container propped on his lap.
“Are you sure you don’t want one of the chairs?” Alfie asked, leaning down to look at Dean.
“Told ya, I’m good,” Dean smiled up at them, then craned his neck a little further to look up at his husband, a half lidded, blissful expression covering his face as Cas’s had came down to scratch through Dean’s hair.
Alfie’s stomach lurched pleasantly, remembering their tender touches and their kisses, the way he felt when all four of them had lain together. And not just the sex, though that had been phenomenal. Something about Dean and Cas had instantly put them at ease that week, so why was it so much harder to just… be themselves right now? Alfie’s fingers itched to be the ones carding through Dean’s hair, to be the one looking up at Castiel so adoringly, to see Dean and Benny cuddling together.
What had changed?
Alfie and Benny had talked about this moment almost since they’d returned from the festival. By turns they’d been eager and fearful, mixing into an anxious nervousness, but Alfie had thought that once Dean and Cas were there, in their sight again - had thought that with all the texting and everything they did with all the “getting to know you stuff” that entailed - that they’d fall right back in together in the flash of an eye.
And it had almost happened, there at the diner, but that moment hadn’t been right. Too public for such heartfelt moments.
He looked down and away from the sight of Dean and Cas, twisting his fingers about themselves before glancing back up at them almost shyly and hating himself for it. He reached for his own container from the low table before scooting back up against Benny.
After that, they mostly ate in silence, at first, with only random bits of conversation.
“So, Cas starts his new job on Monday – I don’t gotta start till Thursday, so I bet you can guess who’s gonna be doing most of the unpacking,” Dean joked around his food. “Goddamn, Benny. You can cook. Marry me, won’t ya?”
Cas chuckled, nudging at Dean playfully with a socked foot. “He’s been talking about your cooking since the festival. I swear, sometimes, that the quickest way to Dean’s heart is through his stomach.”
“Not true!” Dean protested, using his beer to swallow down his food.
Benny laughed heartily, the rumbling sound shaking Alfie and making him grin. “I think you’d have to fight Alfie for me, but luckily for you, I think we already established we’re pretty good at sharin’.”
“True,” Dean said, his face lighting up. “And we are too.”
“So uh,” Alfie said, pushing his food around with his fork and looking over at Dean and Cas nervously. “So, how do we… what do we now? How does this work? Are we… are we dating, first? Or um…”
Cas leaned over and placed a hand gently over Alfie’s arm, the touch light and almost hovering, ready to pull away at the slightest indication from Alfie, he could see. It warmed his heart to see such consideration and care in Cas’s manner, in his eyes.
“It’s okay to be nervous, Alfie. We are too.” Cas pulled his hand back. “Look, we can go as slow or as fast as you want. Do you want to hold back on the sex so we can get to know each other better? Or dive straight in since that ship has already sailed and just get to know each other better along the way? Do we want to do traditional dating or work out something else? There are a lot of questions and different directions we can go from here. And it’s all up to you. Dean and I are up for whatever the two of you feel comfortable with. Our only requirement is that you talk with us.”
“We want – “ Alfie started, stumbled over his words and leaned forward to push the food he suddenly couldn’t eat onto the table. Benny leaned forward to do the same thing and rubbed at Alfie’s back soothingly.
“He’s right, I mean, I know he hasn’t said it but we’ve been talking about it since the festival. We really do want to have something more with you. The sex is…” Benny blew out a breath, “Pretty fantastic, that’s for damn sure. But I think we also been doin’ the getting to know you part already. I think… I think this whole thing has been rather out of order and… maybe untraditional… so, what if we just… just go with what feels right?”
“And how are you feeling right now?” Castiel asked.
“Like I could stand to be kissed,” Benny said hoarsely. “Like we been missin’ you pretty bad and things were easy before but now we’re nervous and we can’t figure why.”
“There’s more on the line now,” Cas answered easily. “Before it was a bit of fun, a fling, no strings attached. But we all grew attached and now… we all want more, and we’re all worried it’ll fall through. It’s perfectly natural, I assure you.”
Silence filled the room as the four of them stared at each other. Alfie liked Cas’s words. They sounded right. He knew instantly that Cas had hit the nail on the head. A lot more was at stake now then a summer fling where if things went wrong they could just walk away, go home and never see the other couple again.
Now if something went wrong, they’d be living in the same town, would know the same people. Their business would become everybody’s business.
Was it worth the risk?
Alfie was fairly certain the answer was yes. It had been yes when they left each other that summer, and it was still yes while they’d been chatting online waiting for this moment and… and it was still yes.
“Screw it!” Dean muttered under his breath. He shoved his mostly finished plate onto the table next to Alfie’s and stood, coming to a stop before Benny. He gave Benny an inquiring look that Benny just returned blandly but for the twinkle in his eye. Dean huffed and rolled his eyes before climbing right up into Benny’s lap and kissing him for dear life.
Alfie’s breathing stuttered and he gasped out a quiet “Fuck…” at the sight, still as arousing now as it had been that summer.
Beside him, Cas shifted on the couch till he was against the arm of it, with two hands that curled about Alfie’s hips questioningly. Alfie turned in his hands but made no effort to get away from Cas and he felt those hands close more firmly around his waist to haul Alfie into his lap.
Leaning slightly, Cas whispered into his ear, “We really did miss you both and we really do want more than just this, but we’re very on board with it if you are. Tell us to stop, and we will, I promise.”
Alfie slumped back against Cas, far from telling him or Dean no, and watched Benny’s eyes slip shut with a blissful moan. Unable to take his eyes off Benny and Dean, he watched Benny’s big hands gliding over Dean’s jean clad ass, gripping hard and pulling him down into closer contact.
Dean groaned into Benny’s mouth and he rocked down, his hands holding Benny’s face as they kissed, hard and fast.
Alfie whimpered as he watched, palming his cock. Lips closed over the lobe of his ear and Alfie gasped again, his hips rocking in Cas’s lap, feeling the hard line of Cas’s dick against his ass.
“Keep watching,” Cas murmured as he kissed down Alfie’s neck, his fingers warm where they still rested on Alfie’s waist.
He did, though it was a struggle to keep his eyes from fluttering close in pleasure. They were still clothed, and Alfie was anything but chaste, but damn, this just felt so damn good! He had no idea what Dean and Cas were doing to him and Benny but he sure as hell liked it.
Without taking his lips away from Benny’s, Dean’s hands slid down Benny’s shirt until he reached his jeans. Within seconds, with a deftness of hand that was to be admired, Dean had both their pants opened enough to draw out their cocks and take them both in hand as they rocked together.
Breath coming out in sharp pants, Alfie ground back against Cas, just barely catching his words through the pounding of his heart.
“Go ahead, Alfie,” Castiel murmured, one hand slipping off of Alfie’s waist to encourage Alfie into touching himself. Taking Alfie’s hand in his, Cas rubbed at Alfie’s dick through his pants as they watched Dean and Benny taking their pleasure in each other. “Go on. don’t be shy…”
Alfie dropped his weight onto Cas fully, fumbling to undo his pants and shove them down just enough to –
“That’s it,” Cas said, nipping at the side of Alfie’s neck before licking and sucking deeply. Alfie stuttered on a moan, his hand coming about his naked cock, flexing his hips up and down, feeling Cas’s erection a little closer, a little warmer than before, but not quite enough. Not yet.
“Please, Cas,” Alfie whispered breathlessly. “Please…”
“Hold on, I’m here,” Cas said softly. Grunting a bit, he encouraged Alfie up some with a palm on his ass, his other hand reaching between them briefly before pulling Alfie firmly back into his lap –
- where the hot, gloriously naked flesh of Cas’s length rode Alfie’s exposed ass, sliding along the crack in such a sinful manner that Alfie ached.
“Fuck,” Alfie whimpered. “Oh fuck…” he rocked down as Cas thrust up, his hand sliding faster along his dick while the other grabbed a hold of Cas’s thigh with a white knuckled grip. “Oh f-f-f-uuuuuck…”
“Jesus, Benny,” Dean groaned, causing Alfie’s eyes to open into a half-lidded gaze. Benny and Dean thrust together, thrust their hard cocks up into Dean’s hand, Dean’s other hand gripping the hair at the back of Benny’s head to pull him in for a smothering kiss. Alfie watched Benny’s hand flexing under Dean’s jean’s, the fabric pulled so loose, Alfie could see Dean’s freckled ass in flashes as Benny moved.
Dean gasped and pulled away, Benny pulling at Dean’s lip as he did.
“Fuck, yeah, yeah, just like… hmmmm….”
“Is he fingering Dean, do you figure?” Cas murmured with a thrust, one hand making his way under Alfie’s button up shirt and caressing up his side and back down his chest, pushing the shirt up till it bunched around Alfie’s shoulders and giving him free reign to roam. His hands trailed sparks up and down Alfie’s skin, finally settling over his nipple and started lazily teasing the hard nub.
Alfie watched the way Benny’s hands shifted and moved and nodded. “Y-yeah… g-gotta be…”
On the other side of the couch, so close Alfie could easily reach out with his feet and touch them with room to spare, Dean and Benny were barreling towards a mutual orgasm so fast that Alfie twitched in his own hand and shuddered.
“Oh god… Cas, I’m gonna…”
“Go on,” Cas encouraged, the already gravelly voice hitting a deep growl that caused another shiver to flow through Alfie’s body, lighting him up from the inside. He bit his lip, thrust into his hand and back down onto Cas who was now sliding slickly against his ass, between his cheeks teasingly.
God, how he wished Cas was inside him…
Dean shouted and came, his come spurting up over his hand, over Benny’s shirt and into his beard and Benny came behind him with another pump of his hips.
When Dean leaned over to lick the come off Benny’s face, Alfie lost it, arching hard into Cas as he came, his head falling onto Cas’s shoulder.
When he came down, slumping bonelessly in Cas’s grasp as Cas rubbed his hands up and down Alfie’s arms, Alfie could feel the come dripping down his back.
“Mmmmm….” Alfie nuzzled into Cas’s neck, angling for a proper kiss. Cas gave it to him eagerly, their lips touching softly in the afterglow.
“We should get you something to clean you up,” Cas said.
“No,” Alfie said drowsily, “I’m good just like this.”
“You won’t be saying that an hour from now,” Cas argued.
“That’s an hour from now,” Alfie pointed out. “Just… five more minutes…”
Benny chuckled. “That one likes being marked, Cas. Gonna have to get used to that.”
Cas hummed, brushing another kiss to Alfie’s lips, Alfie melting into him with every kiss. “I can work with that,” Cas said.
“Damn… one would think we were teenagers,” Deans voice washed over Alfie pleasantly. “We didn’t even take our clothes off but damn was that hot.”
“We aim to please,” Benny joked.
“From the looks of it,” Alfie pointed out, his eyes closed against his will but too tired to protest it. “It was Dean doing the aiming… and it was such wonderful aim,” he said dreamily, thinking about the come in Benny’s beard.
“Dude, you weren’t half so bad at that aiming yourself,” Dean said with some amusement. “Pretty sure you got both me and Benny from all the way over there.”
The voices, now filled with exhausted pleasure and sated happiness instead of the anxiousness that had been rolling off all of them in droves before, soothed Alfie, and he drifted dreamily in Cas’s arms.
This was going to work. Sure, this was just the chemistry, and the chemistry was damn good, but it had also relaxed them enough that Alfie felt like they were going to easily fall into step with each other, now that the first hurdle of anxious nervousness had been blasted away.
They were going to work.
Chapter 11: Sleepy Conversations
It's been a long day for everyone....
first part of this chapter is a little different but i thought it was neat. hope you do too...
Dean heard a murmur of voices, soft and rumbling, but he was too warm and comfortable to move. They were distant, just on the edge of his awareness, like a dream.
Maybe they were.
He mumbled and shifted, something tightening around his waist, and he sank down further into the warmth that surrounded him.
“So, it went well, then?” Dean heard Cas say.
Alfie hummed. “I was scared as hell, Cas.”
“But you did it. I’m proud of you.” Oh... Cas and Alfie were having a “talk”. Dean was actually glad he was too exhausted to actually participate. After such a physically, and mentally taxing day, he just wanted to bask in the fact that there was still a spark between them, that the time and distance hadn’t diminished it in anyway.
Dean had been a little afraid that getting to know them more as friends would forever cast the other couple into an untouchable category. It happened sometimes. Not that there was anything wrong with that. But there was so much potential for more between all of them, not just sex, that he’d actually been quite afraid of it falling apart before it had a chance to go anywhere.
The easy banter at the diner, the shared fears of the other men, and how quickly they’d all devolved into a hot mess with barely a few touches was well on the way to setting Dean’s mind at ease.
Sure, there was still work ahead of them all, but it boded well, right?
There was a rustle and a soft, wet sound and Dean knew they were kissing again and he smiled lazily, not in the least bit jealous that his husband was so caught up in Alfie.
The feeling was mutual, and there was Benny too.
Dean nuzzled into the warmth below him – Benny, as a matter of fact – and drifted a little further as Cas and Alfie continued to talk.
Their voices created a pleasant background buzz while under him, Benny was a hard, hot line with soft edges that Dean was sinking into pleasantly. Benny shifted a little, dragging Dean up a bit and, if he were younger, the distraction from the conversation would have turned graphic quick.
Instead, a thumb dug into the small of his back and he groaned lowly, arching into the glorious touch on his aching lower back. Dean didn’t even have it in him to flush embarrassedly at Benny’s chuckle. It wasn’t ill meant and Dean felt too good under Benny’s ministrations. In fact, it didn’t take much more of that encouragement for the thumb to become a whole hand, the heel of it digging into the sore muscles first before spreading out and really digging in. Dean groaned again, becoming so much melted butter under the warm, calloused hand that had slipped under his shirt.
Despite being way too tired to be aroused again so soon, Dean couldn’t help the thrust of his hips, his soft cock sliding along Benny’s thigh, still sticky from earlier, when Dean had collapsed against Benny and refused to move. The feeling was altogether different, an intimacy he normally shared only with Cas and the impact of it took his breath away suddenly.
Benny breathed against his ear, his other hand joining the first as they really worked up Dean’s back, moving along each muscle, each tense knot, from his lower back all the way to his neck and shoulders, sweeping up and down again in sure, strong motions.
Dean couldn’t stop the moans that slipped from his mouth with every press of Benny’s hand, the fluttering in is stomach at every breath of Benny on his skin. His hips stuttered forward again when Benny started pressing absent, lazy kisses along Dean’s neck.
Slowly, Dean relaxed into the touch, into the kisses, too exhausted to do anything else, too content where he was to make any more effort. Eventually, Benny’s warm, firm touch soothed Dean right to sleep.
He had no idea how long he’d slept before Cas’s voice started rousing him, but he still felt particularly disinclined to move.
“I hate to wake him, it’s been a long, busy day for both of us with the move, but he was particularly nervous about tonight.”
Dean made a sound, an effort to speak that completely failed, the word becoming so much unintelligible noise. Probably for the best since he had no idea what he was about to say. Maybe a protest at Cas’s words, a reflexive action about Cas so easily talking about Dean’s state of mind like this, but he found that – with Benny and Alfie – he didn’t actually care.
Besides, he was sure Cas wouldn’t really betray any confidences without clearing it with Dean first.
It might even help the other couple to realize they were just as human as they, just as capable of making mistakes and having fears. He definitely didn’t want anyone getting put on any pedestals.
That was a recipe for disaster.
If this was gonna work – and Dean had a good feeling about this – they needed to all be equals, they needed to – ugh – communicate as much as possible. They needed to accept that they each had flaws and issues in addition to everything else.
“Really?” Alfie’s voice was incredulous.
“Is it any wonder? We both were, just as you and Benny were. Just because we have some experience with multiple partners as flings, doesn’t mean we’re any more prepared on how to wrap 4 different lives together on a potentially more permanent basis.”
"Then let’s let them sleep. Benny's been running himself ragged at the diner ever since Cuthbert quit. I try to help but, well, I’m a terrible cook," Alfie said softly.
Dean clutched at Benny tighter. He knew it! He’d just known something was up with Benny, but Benny had swept aside their concerns the few times Dean had brought anything up.
“We couldn’t intrude,” Cas protested.
Intrude, intrude! Dean’s brain supplied muzzily. He was very uninclined to move. Besides, if he moved now, it would likely disturb Benny and then the poor man would lose even more sleep.
“You’re tired, he’s tired – God, we’re all tired, though I think I’m the least exhausted one here – and I don’t think anyone should be driving when they’re tired,” Alfie said. “Our bed isn’t that big, but if we’re all… cuddling –“ Dean could just imagine the blush on his face, still, despite all the things they’d done together - “I’m sure we’d make it work. Just be warned, Benny’s alarm will be going off extremely early. Though you are both more than welcome to stay and sleep in if you’ve nowhere else to be.”
“Shouldn’t move ‘em,” Dean mumbled into Benny’s shirt, still unable to open his eyes but finally forcing that funny feeling in his chest down enough to speak. “If he’s that tired, don’ wake ‘em just to move ‘em.”
“Hmm…” Alfie’s hum was filled with amusement. “It’s okay, Dean. Benny usually doesn’t have a problem falling asleep. It’s getting the time to get that sleep that’s been the issue lately. Besides, trust me, that couch is not the best thing to sleep on. Anytime either of us have done it, we’ve regretted it.”
“Mmmhmm…” Dean hummed his answer, unable to muster the energy to move, and talking further was just straight out.
“I don’t think Dean wants to move either,” Cas said. “I think you’re right, and we should most definitely take you up on the offer. I’ll help you move them. Dean’s at least partially awake, if I can get him up off the couch, you think you can help him walk to the bed while I carry Benny?”
Dean was suddenly wishing he was way more alert than he was as Alfie squeaked.
Damn but that was something Dean wanted to see. Cas was shorter than Dean, but he was surprisingly strong. People underestimated him all the time. Even Dean still did, occasionally, and he knew how strong Cas was. Hell, he had the damn muscles for it too and Dean got an up close and personal look at those all the time, as often as he wanted.
“I’m sure I can do it,” Cas insisted.
“If you’re sure…” Alfie trailed off doubtfully and then Cas was gripping Dean’s arm and pulling at him.
“C’mon Dean, you’re awake enough to help Alfie help you to bed and then we can all snuggle down into the blankets together,” Cas implored. “Your back will not thank you if you stay out here, not after all that driving and then moving we did.”
“Fine,” Dean huffed, flopping his legs over. They felt like jelly but eventually, he did get his feet under him with Cas’s help, and then he had an arm slung over Alfie’s shoulder and the younger man had an arm wrapped around his waist as he guided Dean around obstacles.
Thankfully, as the ‘penny tour’ had shown them, the walk was quick and before Dean knew it, he was tumbling into the bed.
“Oh my, you really can carry Benny!” Alfie said in shock. Dean rolled over and with great effort, opened his eyes. To his great amusement, Benny was being carried bridal style by Cas who did, at least, look like it was a bit of an effort, but one that he was actually succeeding at as Benny drooled on his shirt.
Alfie was staring at Cas in awe and Dean couldn’t blame him. What Dean wouldn’t give for the energy to snap a picture right now.
Cas caught his eye and smirked even as he deposited Benny onto the bed beside Dean. Benny rolled right into Dean’s warmth and Dean wasted no time in curling back up with Benny, eying Cas and Alfie.
“You guys gonna join us anytime soon?” Dean mumbled hopefully.
Cas unbuttoned his shirt and leaned over to kiss Dean. “Thought you might want to not be wearing your jeans, at least.”
“Oh, right,” Dean agreed. He lazily wiggled to get his jeans off, only succeeding because Cas helped before Cas and Alfie turned to snag Benny’s as well. Then doffing their own clothes so that they were only in their boxers – which were still dirty, come to think of, but Dean found he was too tired to care about that for once – the two of them climbed into the bed.
Alfie had been right. It was a tight fit with four of them, but since none of them minded close quarters, it worked.
The bed shifted and the sound that had permeated Dean’s dreams became louder, causing him to sit up with a start.
The sound cut off abruptly as he stared blearily about the room, the unfamiliarity of it doing more to wake him than anything else. His eyes popped fully open, relaxing only when they fell on Alfie and Cas.
But not Benny.
Dean turned and saw Benny standing before his dresser, half naked. Benny looked up, spotting Dean in the mirror and grimaced.
“Sorry, Dean. Didn’t mean to wake ya,” Benny’s drawl was still evident despite how softly he talked.
“No, no, it’s all good,” Dean said with a yawn, his heart’s pounding was slowly calming, though he was way too wired now to go back to sleep just yet. “What time is it?”
Dean cast about the alarm clock – that must have been the sound he’d thought he was dreaming, had incorporated into his dream as something else entirely – but Benny beat him to it.
“Just past 5,” Benny said with his own yawn.
“Oh god,” Dean said, wiping a hand down his face. “That’s too fuckin’ early. Dude, you got like, what, 4 hours of sleep? Maybe? Is that what you’ve been swinging since that ass quit?”
Benny shoved the drawer shut softly, clothes piled under the crook of his arm.
“Look, I need a shower and I don’t wanna wake them,” Benny said, jerking his head toward Cas and Alfie, who were sleeping the sleep of the dead. “You wanna talk, join me in the kitchen in 15.”
Dean nodded, watching Benny leave before leveraging himself out of the bed with a groan, easing himself out from under a tangle of arms and legs as gently as possible. Somehow, he managed it, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he did and the other two kept sleeping, blissfully unaware. He tugged the blankets more securely around them so they wouldn’t miss his and Benny’s body heat as much, then slipped out into the kitchen, still clad only in his boxers and tee shirt.
Dean grimaced as he walked. He could have used a shower as well, but he didn’t want to invite himself into Benny’s. He’d probably overstepped himself last night as it was, pushing things along the way he had.
There’d been no objections but given that Benny hadn’t invited him to shower with him either, Dean felt like he’d maybe pushed a few too many boundaries, a little too fast.
They’d barely started and he could have fucked things up already. Benny had sounded a little short even, when he told Dean to meet him in the kitchen –
Dean shook his head.
No. Benny was tired. Four hours of sleep? Who wouldn’t be a bit testy? Well, maybe Dean could help with that.
Rummaging about the cupboards, Dean set about making coffee, surprised Benny didn’t have his coffee maker on some sort of a timer. Man probably existed on coffee, given his current state.
By the time Benny emerged, freshly showered and dressed, his hair still a little wet, Dean had the coffee ready and Benny stopped and sniffed the air appreciatively.
“Looking good,” Dean said, pouring out the mugs.
“I feel like shit,” Benny said absently, crossing the room. “Oh, thank God. I forgot to set that up last night. You are a godsend.” Benny snatched the mug Dean held out for him and cupped it almost reverently in both hands.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s not like your routine hadn’t been thrown on its ear or anything.”
Benny chuckled, an actual deep and easy chuckle, and Dean relaxed into the sound with relief. Maybe he hadn’t fucked everything up.
“Nah, not at all,” Benny said, a twinkle in his eyes and the hint of a smile on his lips. It was a good look on him.
“So seriously, Cuthbert’s been gone how long now?” Dean asked, leaning back on the counter and sipping his own coffee carefully.
“Few weeks, give or take,” Benny noted.
“Dude, you need a break. You can’t go on like this. Trust me, I know from experience,” Dean said.
“Well, hopefully that’s changing. Like you and Cas were a good luck charm, sometime after you left, we got a walk-in applicant. First one we’ve had yet. Gonna check him over today. Hopefully, it pans out.” Benny side-eyed the bedroom, his face falling.
“Can’t happen too soon. I’ve been neglecting Alfie something awful. Made him all insecure and I didn’t even realize till…” he sighed. “You’re right. Can’t go on like this. Not just for my health but for Alfie and, if this is gonna be a thing, you and Cas too.”
“Dude, Benny, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Dean said, placing his mug down on the counter and putting his hand on Benny’s shoulder. “You had some tough but temporary circumstances. I’m sure Alfie doesn’t blame you.”
“Well, I blame me. And even if he doesn’t, don’t mean I haven’t done wrong by him, or made him feel bad. Hell, it wouldn’t even be the first time I’ve proven to be a less than stellar boyfriend,” Benny said bitterly.
“Look, maybe you did, but I’m sure all of us know it wasn’t on purpose. Real life happens, sometimes. I know it’s hard but if Alfie were going through the same thing… would you hold it against him?”
“Hell, no!” Benny bit out.
“Exactly. And anyhow, things are maybe looking up, right? So, you might have a chance to make up for it.” Dean squeezed Benny’s shoulder and Benny let out a breath, nodding.
“Maybe you’re right,” Benny said, looking vastly more cheered than he had only seconds ago. “I got a good feelin’ about this guy. A little odd but, that don’t matter none to me.”
Dean clapped him on the shoulder and grinned at Benny.
“See, there ya go! The power of positive thinking!”
Benny raised an eyebrow at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes.
“Okay, fine, that’s Cas talking, but I swear to God, it actually works. It might not change your situation but it certainly helps you deal with it, and if you can deal with it better, then that helps you change your situation,” Dean explained.
“Okay, Dr. Phil,” Benny said, grinning back finally. “Much as I hate to break up this little heart to heart, though, I gotta get moving. That application won’t approve itself.”
“All right then, in that case, I’m going back to bed,” Dean said, draining his mug and placing it in the sink.
“Hey, Dean? Thanks,” Benny said, his voice low and his gaze grateful.
“It’s no problem, man,” Dean assured him. “Now you get to work and be jealous of the extra z’s I’m getting. Let it be your motivation to get that applicant installed as soon as possible.”
“Sure, Dean,” Benny said with a roll of his eyes. He finished his own coffee and was placing it in the sink just as Dean pushed away from the counter. Before he could take a step, Benny wrapped him in his arms and squeezed tight. “Thank you,” he said quietly once more before stepping back and leaving Dean alone in the kitchen.
Chapter 12: Some Wake Up Calls Are Better Than Others...
A pleasant and relaxed morning for at least three out of four...
Bacon. Yes. bacon is a theme. It is a lovely theme. It is my own obsession. I've talked about my obsession before. Jdragon thinks all my fics have bacon in them. it's not true. but it's probably close. I should do a Bacon meter or something for my fics. :P
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The smell of bacon woke him, and Castiel drifted in a lazy manner, dazedly sitting up, eyes barely open, nose sniffing the air. A giggle beside him made him turn to find Alfie, sleep rumpled and adorable, also sitting up in the bed and staring at him with amusement.
“Good morning, Alfie,” Castiel said, his voice roughened from sleeping. He cleared his throat and noted that Alfie was looking between him and –
- And Dean, who stood outside the bedroom, one hand on the wall to brace himself as he leaned in and the other on the doorknob as he fanned it, the swell of bacon accompanying each movement.
“Alfie didn’t think you’d ever wake up, Castiel,” Dean said with a smile. “I told him you just needed the right incentive.”
Castiel rolled his eyes affectionately and got to his feet, pushing up from the bed to take his weight. He wobbled a little and then with merely a grunt and a peck on Dean’s cheek, he slid past him, following the tantalizing smell of bacon.
Soon, the three of them were curled up in the living room once more, the couch no less crowded though decidedly more innocent as they quietly – unless you counted the dirty sounding moans – ate their bacon and drank their coffee.
Dean had noticed the turntable Alfie had purchased that summer at his suggestion, and after great deliberation, placed a record on, giving their breakfast a soft playing soundtrack.
Because Dean was a romantic like that, Castiel thought, keeping the smirk to himself. Not that Dean wanted it to be much known, but when you were partners, when you lived together and knew each other as well as Castiel and Dean did, there were no real secrets. At least, not for long.
Before long, the three of them had demolished their bacon, though the scent lingered pleasantly in the air, and Dean had refilled their coffees. The three of them lounged together, and Castiel was even starting to drift off once more when Dean’s voice jarred him awake again.
“I noticed that Benny’s guitar looks unused,” he said.
Castiel’s eyes popped opened and he couldn’t help but scan about the room till his eyes fell on the guitar. Even from where he sat, the layer of dust could be seen atop it.
“Yeah. This whole diner things got him all turned around,” Alfie said sadly. “I hope that guy that came in last night works out, cause Benny needs the break and… I miss him.” He laughed hollowly. “How stupid is that? I live with him. Eat and sleep with him. I see him every damn day, and I miss him.”
“Are you mad at him for that?” Castiel asked gently.
Alfie’s eyes went wide. “No! I’m upset… but not with him. It’s hard not to be upset, but it’s not like Benny could help it. But it’s lonely and, I guess, it hits me harder sometimes than others… I try not to let it get to me, because I don’t want to make him feel worse, you know?” Alfie said desperately, tears brimming over in his eyes. He rubbed at his eyes and sniffed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to cry about it.”
“Hey, sometimes, you just gotta let the bad feelings out. It helps make room for the good ones,” Castiel said.
Alfie smiled shakily. “You sound like Missouri.”
“Hey! Missouri! She’s still around? You know, I always thought that lady was psychic…” Dean mused. He blinked as Alfie stared at him, shaking his head, eyes wide. “What?”
“I just think… isn’t it so weird how I’ve been in Sioux Falls for a while – Benny, even longer – and you not only have family here but know some of the same people we do and yet we never met before. Instead, we meet by accident, while we’re all on vacation far from here. It amazes me…” Alfie breathed out.
“It is very remarkable,” Castiel agreed.
“It’s almost like a story…” he trailed off, glancing over to a bookcase that held a laptop and a bunch of notebooks on one shelf, then shook his head and looked back at Dean and Castiel. Castiel recalled then that Alfie was a writer and wondered idly what sorts of things he wrote and if he would be comfortable sharing any of it.
Before he could ask, Dean started humming an obnoxiously cheery tune that Castiel knew all too well. He narrowed his eyes and Castiel turned to Dean. “Really, Dean?”
Dean broke into a grin. “What? It’s true!”
Alfie squinted at Dean. “Thanks, Dean. Now I’m gonna have ‘it’s a small world after all’ stuck in my head. The worst part is, I know all the words.”
Laughing, Dean fell against Castiel and Castiel looked at him with fond exasperation, rolling his eyes with a small smile twitching at the corners of his lips despite his efforts to hold it back.
Still laughing, Dean gasped out, “Dear lord, that’s horrible. I don’t think I even wanna ask why you know all the words.”
“Lucifer,” Alfie said, the name unexpected and sending a chill down Castiel’s spine. “As soon as he realized how annoying it could be, he sung it all the time.”
Dean stiffened against Castiel at Alfie’s words and Castiel knew he’d be beating himself up over this, though he could never have known there was a bad association with something as simple as an annoying kids’ song.
That was the way Dean was. Castiel sighed and rubbed at Dean’s back lightly, as much to comfort Dean as it was to comfort himself. Both he and Dean remembered the incident from that summer all too well. Castel knew how badly it could have gone, but Dean – being a cop – probably knew better than him.
At any rate, though they’d gotten lucky and everything had ended well, it had still gone bad enough. Dean and Benny had had an assortment of bruises after the altercation, and Lucifer had managed to actually cut Benny too. Castiel shivered as the image of the blood pooling on Benny’s arm flashed through his mind.
He shoved it down and away with another shiver.
“Oh, god, Alfie,” Dean said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up anything.”
“Actually,” Alfie said slowly, biting at his lip. “It really doesn’t bother me. It was one of the few things that got Lucifer in trouble with mo – Naomi.” He broke into a sly smile and Dean slumped back into Castiel with a relieved sigh. Castiel leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple.
“Oh, good.” Dean said. “Hey Alfie?”
“Y’know, I just realized something and I’m incredibly sad now,” Dean said, giving Alfie an exaggerated pout and Castiel blinked. Dean was likely trying to change the topic to something lighter, but Castiel couldn’t figure out where he was going with this.
From the looks of Alfie, neither could he.
“Oh?” Alfie asked slowly.
“Yeah, I haven’t had the chance to kiss you since this summer,” Dean said. Castiel dropped his head briefly between Dean’s shoulder blades, his body shaking slightly with silent laughter.
His husband was ridiculous.
But in a good way. Still, last night had been unexpected, everything moving faster than Castiel had thought they would. They probably shouldn’t keep pushing like this.
“Dean, there’s no rush. We’re here now,” Castiel admonished, his voice low.
Alfie didn’t seem to mind, though, as he hummed thoughtfully. “That does sound a tragedy. You have any ideas how to fix that?” he inched closer to Dean and Cas, his tongue darting out really quickly before he sucked it and his lower lip in, his teeth coming down to worry at his lip as he stared at Dean.
Dean shook with laughter. “Damn, but Benny’s right. You are insatiable.” He leaned forward to capture Alfie’s lips in a soft kiss, pulling away for a moment to say, “But I like it.”
Castiel watched them fondly as Dean and Alfie kissed, their lips meeting hungrily. Cas could see flashes of tongue and teeth as they pulled away and back together again and he wanted to groan.
He was suddenly hit with the fact that as Dean hadn’t kissed Alfie last night, neither had Cas kissed Benny and he was regretting that he hadn’t woken before Benny left that morning. Well, there would be other times, he was sure.
Sadly, though, a glance at his phone had Castiel clearing his throat and interrupting them.
“I hate to break up such a beautiful sight, but we have a lot of work to do, and I’d like to check on Jude. We’ve left her alone for quite some time,” he said reluctantly.
Dean and Alfie parted with a few more lingering kisses before drawing away from each other.
Sighing, Dean reluctantly agreed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re right and we gotta get going.”
“At least we’re in the same town now,” Alfie pointed out helpfully.
“True,” Dean said, brightening. “It’s gonna take some time to get used to that though.”
“But we will, my love,” Castiel said, standing. Dean and Alfie stood too, Alfie stepping over to Cas and wrapping his arms around him.
“It’s so good to see you both again,” Alfie said softly.
Castiel leaned down. “Agreed,” he said just as softly before kissing Alfie gently. It was just as heavenly as last night, Alfie eager and open to Castiel, and he didn’t want to let go of the man in his arms, didn’t want to stop kissing Alfie, and it was Dean’s turn to clear his throat.
“Uh, Cas?” he said, amusement thick and clear in his voice.
“Right.” Castiel said, stepping away from Alfie and giving his arm a squeeze. Alfie grinned up at both of them and it was one of the hardest things to do to tear himself away from Alfie.
It shouldn’t have been, but now that Alfie and Benny were right there, after so many months of waiting and of anticipation, Castiel wanted to spend all the time he could with both of them, Dean at his side.
Patience, he counseled himself. I can have patience. We have all the time we could want stretching before us and as Alfie said, we’re in the same town now.
Telling himself that was easier than believing but eventually, he and Dean were once more presentable and making their goodbyes with promises to see the other couple again.
i briefly thought of more smut here, but then i thought, this is so new still, that maybe they'd be reluctant to move too far forward without all of them there, especially since they were all of them uncertain how fast they should proceed with everything
Chapter 13: Trial Runs
Benny's morning - and the foreseeable future- may be looking up...
guys, my shift key is on the fritz. like, i can hold down the shift key during an entire sentence and get maybe a handful of capital letters. The S key was already on the fritz, but not anywhere NEAR as bad as that. it's killing me... absolutely killing me *sobs*
Benny looked over the application again, suppressing yet another yawn. Damn, but he was tired. Last night was probably pushing it, considering his levels of exhaustion lately, but just remembering it made him smile.
Come to think of it, though, he didn’t remember actually going to bed.
Huh. He must have been more exhausted than he’d thought if he was sleepwalking himself to bed.
He shook his head and took another sip of his coffee, noting a few names on the list he knew and trusted. Each call he placed said pretty much the same thing. The guy was a bit odd but fun, and a damn fine chef with a specialization in pastries, and when he moved on, it was always on amicable terms.
After about the tenth call – Benny had lost count, his notebook a mess of scribbled notes from each call – Benny hung up the phone feeling good about this guy.
First checking on Julian and Kaia to make sure everything was still under control, Benny picked up the phone one more time, double checking his numbers before dialing. The phone rang a couple of times before a sleepy voice answered it.
“Yo,” Rich said through a yawn. Benny knew how he felt.
“Mr. Prakkara, it’s Benny Lafitte, from the diner.”
“Oh yeah, Mr. Bossman! How’d everything check out? Clean as a whistle eh? Eh?” Rich’s voice was instantly alert. That was a good sign.
“It sure was. When would you like to start?” Please let it be soon, please, please, please… the mantra ran through his mind as Benny just managed to refrain from crossing his fingers.
Nope, he was crossing his fingers.
“When do you need me?”
“Well,” Benny drawled, a relieved grin spreading over his face. “The sooner the better, to be honest. Get some hands-on work here so we can see what training you may or may not need. It’s not that we’re often swamped, y’see, it’s just we don’t have the coverage I need to keep our hours.”
“Yeah, no prob. I’ll be over shortly. Just lemme shower and grab a bite to eat first,” Richard said.
“If you want, you can eat here – no cost – so you can get a feel for the taste of the things we make. Most of it’s pretty standard fair, but we have a few special menu items you’ll need to learn the flavor of.”
“Allrighty then, see you in a few, boss.”
The phone clicked and Benny pulled it away from his ear with a face splitting grin. He had a good feeling about this. He shot a text over to Alfie to let him know the checks had gone through and the new guy would be coming by for a test run.
Alfie answered fairly promptly, despite the fact that he must have woken up late, and probably was still entertaining Dean and Cas.
:: That’s amazing, Ben! :D ::
:: Maybe you can catch up on some sleep now ::
:: Dean and Cas say the same :P ::
Benny laughed. He’d been right, and they were still there.
:: you behave now, cher ::
:: Who? Me? :P ::
:: I’m always ‘good’ <3 ::
Benny laughed and put his phone away, pouring himself another cup of coffee. Like the phone calls, he’d lost track of how many he’d had. Probably way too much, but what could you do?
Rich arrived not 30 minutes later in simple, casual clothes. Easy wear around the kitchen and Benny approved. He mock saluted Benny when he popped his head into the back and caught his gaze.
“Reporting for duty, boss!” he said.
“Just Benny will do,” he insisted.
“Sure thing, Benny. And you can call me Rich.” He clapped his hands together. “So, where do we start? Damn, but it smells gooooood in here! I knew it was a good call to stop here.”
“We’ll start with breakfast. What do you want?”
Rich proved to have a large appetite and wanted to try a little bit of everything. Whatever Rich made, Benny made the same and when it was time to eat, he switched their plates.
An eyebrow went up at that.
“Uh… so… what are we doing?”
“Best way to see the lay of the land. I’m testing your skills, and you get to see what’s different in the food I make,” Benny explained. “Like I said, most of it should be about the same, but this is a good way to cover the basics.”
“That’s an interesting method. Don’t think I’ve ever had a place do that with me before. They just threw me on the line and watched me sink or swim.”
“And of course you swam,” Benny said good-naturedly, considering the reports he’d already gotten back.
“Baby, I didn’t just swim, I flew!” Rich gave him a crooked grin and proceeded to eat, Benny diving in as well and the two of them compared notes off and on throughout the rest of the morning, pausing only for the brunch rush, Rich having already missed the breakfast rush. Satisfied with the more mundane items on the menu, Benny let Rich start in the kitchen officially under his watchful eye during the rush as they worked side by side.
His regular cook, Julian, a tall, almost gaunt looking man with a love for all things fried, gave Rich a once over and then shrugged.
“Welcome to the insanity. Benny’s a good boss,” Julian said. He leaned over with a wink. “And he didn’t even pay me to say that.”
By the time Alfie arrived in the afternoon, Benny was tired, but beaming. He left Rich in the kitchen just as Alfie stepped into the diner, already pulling at his jacket and humming softly.
“What’s up with you, cher?” Benny asked softly, a smile on his face.
“Mm… I’m just happy, bear,” Alfie replied, sliding his arms around Benny’s neck and angling for a kiss.
Benny laughed and eagerly gave it to him. Life was starting to look a little brighter. Benny wasn’t quite so nervous anymore about Cas and Dean, now that they were in town, he got a new hire that was very promising, and Alfie might still be nervous about them, but the dread that had been hanging over both of them in regards to his parents had pretty much broken up and gone away, leaving room for the normal moments.
“God, you two are so damn sickeningly sweet I may actually get cavities,” Rich said. Benny broke away with a grin, Alfie with a blush, and he turned to face the new cook.
“Nah, chief, I think that’s gonna be all those lollipops you been suckin’ on all day,” Benny said.
Rich shrugged. “Haven’t yet.”
Hands full, he disappeared around the corner and left Benny chuckling. Alfie looked up at him.
“So, he’s working out?”
“Yeah, and like I said, all his references checked out too. I got a good feelin’ about him,” Benny said. “And none too soon. I’ve missed you. I know we see each other every day but I felt like I was lettin’ you down.”
“Never, bear,” Alfie said.
“But you always looked so…” Benny couldn’t finish as he grappled for words.
“Lonely, dejected, resigned,” Benny said finally, his voice thick as he dropped his forehead against Alfie’s. “I’m so sorry – “
“Don’t,” Alfie pleaded, looking up at him with wide eyes, his hands coming up to cup Benny’s face. “Benny, I’m okay. I’m better than okay. We’re better than okay, and from here on out, we’re only gonna get better than better than okay. I’ve…” He flushed. “I’ve got a really good feeling about things.”
Benny’s heart squeezed with affection and he couldn’t stop himself from surging forward to kiss Alfie sweetly, his arms coming up to pull Alfie close.
There’d been a time when public affection like this had set Alfie on edge, pulling away with fearful glances at the diner patrons. They’d had a few less than savory interactions, but for the most part the patrons had been fairly unconcerned about the fact that two men were dating.
They’d come a long way since then, and Benny was glad of it. He’d never been shy with showing his affections to his loved ones, whether it be platonic or not, and holding himself back would have killed him. He’d have done it, if Alfie couldn’t handle it, but it would have been so damn hard.
Thankfully, he had gotten over his own – what did they call that? Gay panic? – fairly quickly. Instead of it being a panic, it had been more like a “Huh, that explains a few things,” and, in fact, he’d been filled more with guilt than panic. Therefore, it had never occurred to Benny to even think about worrying over PDA and how others might take it.
When they finally parted, Alfie cleared his throat. “So, uh, you need any help?”
“Nah, I think we’re good. But wouldn’t mind the company if you wanna stick around,” Benny said.
“Sure, I brought my laptop. I’ll set up on the counter and do some work,” Alfie said with a grin.
“You want coffee or tea today?”
“I think it’s a tea day, and surprise me,” Alfie said.
Benny grinned and let go, letting Alfie set up at the counter in his usual spot. Most patrons, the regulars anyway, knew that it was Alfie’s spot and to leave it open for him if there were other options available for them. It was one of the things Benny liked about Sioux Falls. For this and so many other things, it really was a community, and a tolerant one at that. Most folks hadn’t even batted an eye when Benny and Alfie started dating and had more than once let slip their affection in public. Benny was sure that alone had gone a long way to getting Alfie more comfortable with being so open.
Alfie was humming again when Benny returned with the tea things, pouring the hot water while Alfie powered on the laptop.
“What is that?” Benny asked. The song was familiar but he couldn’t quite remember where he’d heard it before, and it was an earworm. He could already feel it digging into his brain.
“What’s what?” Alfie looked up with a confused expression.
“That song you been hummin’ since you got in,” Benny pointed out.
“Oh! I can’t get it out of my head.” Alfie shrugged.
“Okay, but what is it?” Benny pressed.
“It’s a small world boss,” Rich poked his head out the door.
“How so? And I said to call me Benny.”
“The song, bossaroonie.” Rich disappeared again as fast as he’d appeared, the swinging doors flapping back and forth for a few seconds before settling in place.
Benny groaned, running a hand over his face. He already felt the urge to get a melon baller and scoop the song out of his head. “Oh no! No, no, no, Alfie! Now, I’m gonna have that stuck in my head all day.”
“Blame Dean,” Alfie grinned, no shame at all on his face as he put on his headphones.
“Brat,” Benny chided. “You aren’t the least bit sorry, are ya cher?”
Alfie only smiled and Benny shook his head fondly, heading back to work.
It had been late morning, early afternoon when Alfie had come in and Benny was soon lost in his work with occasional questions for Rich and peeking out at Alfie. Alfie was hard at work himself, his fingers typing furiously and Benny smiled as he refilled Alfie’s tea.
He nearly bumped into Rich on his way back into the kitchen.
“Whoops! Sorry, boss-tone. I got table 13’s order ready,” Rich said. “I was just gonna put it on the ledge.”
“It’s Benny,” Benny called after him as Rich stepped around him to place the food on the serving ledge and hit the bell.
“Sure thing,” Rich said. “So, that’s your main squeeze, huh?”
Main squeeze? Benny nearly snorted. Who talked like that? Where’s this guy from, anyway?
“Alfie? Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” Benny said proudly, unable to stop himself from staring at him through the open window as Kaia picked up the food Rich had just dropped off.
“He is a cutie, I gotta admit,” Rich said, giving a whistle and a wink.
“I ain’t sharin’,” Benny growled out, surprising himself with the jealousy that flared up. It brought him up short as he took in the incongruity of it all.
Cause Benny sure as hell was sharing, wasn’t he? And in turn, so was Alfie. Just… not with him. What made Cas and Dean so different that even Alfie had felt at ease among them almost from the get go? What was it about them that seeing Alfie in the arms of either Cas or Dean or both, didn’t cause this side of Benny to come out? Instead, all of Benny’s jealous and insecure tendencies just fell away.
It didn’t make any sense. Nor did it make any difference as he glared down at Rich.
“Whoa there, handsome! Not trying to steal anyone, I promise,” Rich said, holding his hands up placatingly.
“Good,” Benny said firmly, his voice still a low growl and his stomach a pit of writhing and seething tendrils of ill met thoughts. God, he’d thought he’d gotten over this, over the damage Andrea and Eli had done to him.
He’d never been prone to jealousy before them.
Benny forced himself to walk away before he could do something stupid and alienate his new cook.
It had only been a few hours, but Rich was working out, so far, despite his tendency to run his mouth a little too much and a little too loud. It was clear the man hadn’t mean anything by it but Benny still needed to step aside and clear his head.
God, he was just so tired. Maybe he was overreacting because of the exhaustion? He sat down heavily in his office chair, leaning his elbows on the desk and his head in his hand as he breathed in and out evenly to calm himself.
Yeah, that was probably it.
Chapter 14: Second Guessing
The day is filled with ups and downs and another surprise. Right now, the ups should be outnumbering the downs but Alfie still finds himself second guessing everything...
There be smut here. and then angst. Sorry?
Also, apologies for not putting this chapter up yesterday - not that i have officially announced days, but I've been doing 2 a week and it generally works out to Sunday at some point and then maybe wednesday/thursday but I actually spent a VERY long time yesterday trying to finish a bingo square for Star Trek and then I forgot to post this too...even though this chapter was already mostly ready (I still like to read them over a little later for a last check before posting and i Did add about 100 new words when i did so...)
Alfie was in the zone when his skype chat pinged. He blinked at it. He hadn’t realized it loaded. Opening the ping, he saw that it was from Chuck. From… his dad.
Instantly, he was a mass of nerves.
It had only been a few days since their face to face reunion. It had all seemed to go well, but there was always the chance it could still blow up in his face.
No, he shouldn’t think so negatively. His fingers hovered over the notification, glad it was just a message and not a video chat. He didn’t think he was at all prepared for that just now.
<<What are your plans for thanksgiving?
Alfie grimaced. Already he was about to be a disappointment.
>> Benny and I have something we can’t cancel. I’m sorry.
<< Don’t be sorry! Thanksgiving isn’t all that far off and we only just met. It’d be foolish to think the two of you might not have plans. But your mother wouldn’t let me alone until I at least tried.
<< And don’t worry about her either. We may be disappointed but we are very much not mad.
<< Besides, there’s always Christmas. And next year.
Alfie grimaced again. His fingers shaking, he typed back.
>>Actually, Benny and I kind of… have a standing arrangement for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. It’s not something we can get out of without causing a lot of disappointment. And its not something we want to get out of.
Chuck didn’t answer right away and Alfie’s nerves ratcheted up. He didn’t even notice when the bell over the door tinkled, hearing it but not registering it, or the tall man who took a place at the counter two seats away.
“Cher, you all right?” Benny asked.
Alfie looked up to see him hovering concernedly, setting the hot water down on the counter. Alfie jerked his head slightly and sighed.
“Yeah, I guess, it’s just… Chuck just tried to invite us for thanksgiving.”
Benny came around the counter to sit in the empty seat, turning Alfie on the stool and taking his hands. “Cher, you know you don’t have to stay here with me if you want to see your parents.”
“Bear, I don’t know my parents and I love what we do here. We make a difference. I like helping people, like you helped me,” Alfie said. “I don’t want to give this up.”
“Did you explain that to them?” Benny asked.
“Not… quite.” Alfie bit his lip as he admitted that. The ping from Skype caused him to side eye his laptop nervously. Benny rubbed his hands over Alfie’s comfortingly.
“They may not be as disappointed as you think,” Benny said softly. “You could… invite them to join us, you know?”
Alfie blinked. He hadn’t thought of that. “Oh, no, they wouldn’t…” He stopped, because he didn’t actually know they wouldn’t. They seemed desperate for any opportunity to get to know him. And Benny too, by default. And he hadn’t even brought Dean or Cas into the mix yet, but that was a whole other can of worms.
And a second can of worms, now that he thought of it. What if Dean and Cas assumed the same thing his parents had?
One thing at a time. His computer pinged again and Benny stood, kissing his forehead softly. “It’ll be okay, cher. Just talk to them. And let me know if you need me.”
“Thanks, Benny,” Alfie said, smiling up at Benny adoringly. Feeling better braced now, Alfie turned back to his computer, vaguely listening to Benny as he got up the courage to read Chucks messages.
“Oh, hey Sam! The usual?” Benny asked as he went back around the counter.
“That would be great, Benny, thanks,” Sam said, his voice sounding somewhat nervous. Oh, so that was who sat next to him. Sam was nice. Alfie liked Sam, even though he was freakishly tall he still seemed like such a gentle soul.
“No problem,” Benny said. A quick, reassuring touch to Alfie’s arm made him look up into Benny’s smiling eyes before he disappeared into the back. Taking a deep breath, Alfie plunged back into his skype to read Chucks messages.
<< Sounds important. I have to admit, I’m curious about what you’re doing.
<< if you didn’t mind telling me?
>> Sorry about that. Talking to Benny.
Quickly, letting his fingers fly over the keyboard, Alfie explained their normal Thanksgiving and Christmas plans, and why they couldn’t cancel them. Then, tentatively, he took Benny’s suggestion.
>> Look, I know it’s disappointing. Those are 2 very family orientated holidays and we’ve just basically locked them down forever. I’m sorry.
Taking a deep breath, he typed up his next words, his fingers hovering over the enter key until finally, Alfie hit send.
>> But you and Hannah could join us?
<< Alfie, we’d be honored to be included, if you’re sure it wouldn’t be an intrusion.
Relief flooded through him and he nearly sagged into the counter.
>> you’re not offended?
<< of course not.
Well, that went better than he could have hoped. Would Chuck and Hannah just keep defying his expectations at every turn – in the best ways possible?
Pleasantly relieved, Alfie and Chuck finished their conversation a few moments after and he soon got lost in his work again, pausing only for food and drink when Benny pressed them on him. He was feeling ridiculously motivated, and he wasn’t sure why.
Must be the good mood I’m in, he mused.
After waiting so long, it was almost like a dream to have Cas and Dean so close at hand once more. Though not as conveniently close as they were when they were sharing a tent. He blushed thinking of those times and how close they’d gotten to starting up again last night.
“You all done there, Sam?”
“Sure am, Benny,” Sam said.
Alfie looked up to see Sam hand over a card and idly watched Benny run it through the register. But then Benny paused, a strange look on his face.
“Winchester?” Benny asked slowly. “You’re not… Dean’s brother, are you?”
Blinking, Alfie sat up straighter, looking between Benny and Sam. Surely not? Talk about a small world. They’d known Dean’s brother for years!
“Uh, yeah, actually, I am,” Sam said, running a hand through his hair. His voice was nervous again. “You didn’t know?”
“Well, now, Dean talks about his brother Sam all the time, but I didn’t connect it to you. You’ve always paid cash before,” Benny drawled, finally running the card through the machine.
“Haha, yeah, guess I have,” Sam said. his eyes flicked over to Alfie, blushed and then away again. “So, are you guys… are you and, and… my brother and Cas… really…?’
Sam didn’t look like he knew if he wanted to finish that question or not and Alfie’s insides twisted. Did Sam not like that the four of them were together? Or, well, working on it, anyway?
“You got a problem with us if we are?”
Gaping, Sam shook his head. “Ah, hell no! I was just… surprised, is all.” His eyes flicked over to Alfie again and then back with a sheepish smile. “You’re good guys, and so are they. So, I guess… consider this my blessing?”
“Thank you, Sam,” Alfie said, finally feeling brave enough to venture into this odd conversation.
“Not a problem. And hey, if you guys are gonna be hanging out with Dean and Cas, or, well, you know what I mean, then we should probably get to know each other better as well. Maybe hang out sometime ourselves,” Sam shrugged as he stood, accepting his card back from Benny.
“That might be a good idea,” Benny drawled. Sam nodded and left and Benny and Alfie stared after him for a moment or two.
“Wow,” Alfie said finally.
“Yeah…” Benny shook his head and turned back to the counter. Sam had paid by card but had left a generous tip in cash and Benny shook his head again with a chuckle. “They’re definitely related though. Sam’s one of the most considerate people we know.”
“Very true,” Alfie agreed. A head walked past the door and Alfie got a glimpse of the stranger who’d come in the night before. “So, how’s that guy working out so far, now that he’s here?”
“Pretty damn good, actually,” Benny said, a grin breaking out over his face. “I might just be getting that break I needed. Just give a few more days to get him into the rhythm of this place and work out a schedule and I think we’re gonna be on our way to having things back to normal.”
“That’s wonderful, bear,” Alfie breathed. “No more openings after late nights, you can finally get some sleep.”
Benny leaned on his arms and stretched across the counter to kiss Alfie gently.
“Sleep won’t be the only thing we’ll be getting,” he teased as he drew way.
Alfie’s breath hitched. “Dammit, Benny,” he groaned. “Now I’m horny.”
“Well, how’s that different than normal?” Benny asked with a raised brow and another sinful sounding chuckle that just ran up Alfie’s spine.
Pouting, Alfie closed his laptop. “But it’s worse now, cause we’re not there yet but we’re so… damn… close… its agonizing.”
“I know, cher, I know.”
“I swear, between you, Dean and Cas… I’ve been getting cockblocked all morning,” Alfie muttered.
Benny sputtered and broke out into a belly laugh. “Damn, cher, yer soundin’ mighty desperate.”
Alfie listened to Benny’s thickening accent with a triumphant smirk. “So do you, bear.”
Chuckling again, Benny reached back across the counter, pulling Alfie forward for another kiss. “Maybe I am. But soon, Alfie, soon. I promise.”
Way too soon, Benny drew away and sent his own devious smirk toward Alfie. “You know, cher, you could always go home and take the edge off…”
“Don’t tempt me,” Alfie groaned, banging his head on his laptop, but he did start packing up his things to leave. After one, last lingering kiss with Benny, he left the diner to head home. When he got there, his skin still thrumming with denied need, an idea came to him. A wicked, wicked idea.
If they could tease him, then he could tease right back, right?
And take the edge off at the same time just as Benny had suggested.
Biting his lip, he made his way back to the bedroom and stripped, placing his phone on the table by the bed and in easy reach. He pulled open a drawer, skimming his hands over his toys before selecting one and grabbing the lube.
Quickly, he laid down on the bed and groaned when the combined scent of all of them wafted up into his nose.
Oh lord. He was in heaven, wasn’t he?
If he couldn’t have them here, touching him, he could still be surrounded by them and his need thrummed higher, skin tingling with anticipation.
Rolling around for his phone, the toy and the lube, Alfie arranged things on the rumpled bed covers and snapped a picture. Pleased with the outcome he set to work, occasionally remembering to stop and snap another picture of himself. Tantalizing glimpses of his face, of his cock as he ran his hand down the length of it and closed his fist around it to pump.
It didn’t take long to get himself worked up and leaking, biting his lip to keep from being too loud.
Didn’t want the neighbors to complain after all.
Which they did.
Alfie might have a teensy bit of a hard time restraining himself from expressing exactly how good he felt when Benny fucked him.
It was only a little easier when he was pleasuring himself, but not by much.
That was certainly something he’d enjoyed at the music festival. At times, the music was so loud he didn’t really even try, and the only neighbors who really heard were the only ones that mattered – Dean and Cas.
Alfie whined as he thrust up into his fist, frustrated from all the tantalizing kisses and memories of how good each of them felt inside him. Gasping, he forced his hand away from his aching, throbbing dick, and rolled over onto his hands and knees. It was really hard getting the phone propped up in a way that let him do things to himself at the same time and he grumbled in a different sort of frustration.
Finally, Alfie just gave up and set it to record. He’d screenshot the choice bits later.
He rocked forward, letting his chest hit the soft blankets, burying his head into the pillows and inhaling deeply as his hands crept back. God, Dean smelled musky, a scent Alfie couldn’t even begin to describe but was just so Dean while Castiel was like, like thunder or lightning or a bonfire on a summer night (how the fuck did he do that?) and Benny smelled of Old Spice (Alfie had a weakness for the scent and it was all because Benny used it) and it all combined to create the most enticing aroma, a scent he’d missed sorely.
Fuck, he was so turned on right now.
And so goddamn empty.
Well, he could fix that.
He opened the lube and spread it along his fingers, returning to his ass. He swirled a finger around his hole. He wanted to thrust two straight in but remembering what he was planning, he forced himself to tease at his rim lightly, torturously, for a few long moments, before finally caving in.
Groaning in relief at the first thrusting finger, Alfie rocked forwards and back, rubbing his sensitive erection across the blankets. He whimpered with need and a second finger quickly joined the first, then a third. Almost forgetting about the camera, Alfie mewled and panted with need.
It wasn’t enough.
He withdrew his fingers and slicked up the thick, blue dildo, then pressed it against his entrance with a sharp gasp that fell into a low moan as he spread around the toy. It slid in easily, not as thick as Benny was, but it still felt good.
Not as good as warm, throbbing, flesh and blood.
Not as good as arms that pulled him close or the burn of a close-cropped beard, but it would do as a substitute until he could get those things.
Flipping to his back, Alfie spread his legs wide and reached down to move the dildo, thrusting it in and out as he threw his head back with a cry.
“Nnnggg….oh, oh, oh, god,” he groaned. His hands grew frantic, pushing faster and harder, his breathing growing erratic. He freed one hand to pull at his dick, feeling it twitch eagerly in his hands. He thumbed at the slit, spreading the precome around the head.
He imagined it was Benny fucking him, holding his legs wide open and watching his cock moving, pushing, thrusting inside of Alfie.
He flicked his thumb again and imagined it was Dean’s hand grasping his dick, twisting it just the right way, just the right amount of pressure, while kissing Benny hard and frantic, their hands tangled in each other’s hair.
Licking and sucking at his abused lips, Alfie imagined it was Cas’s mouth moving gently over his, soothing the bitten flesh where Alfie had worried away at it. He scraped his teeth lightly along his bottom lip, letting it go after sucking it in and -
“Ah, ah, ah!” he pushed the thick toy deep with at stuttering motion, hips pushing down hungrily, “Yes, fuck, Bear!”
His hand sped up over his cock and he bit down hard on a whimper, at the sound of the sick slide of it. His mouth gaped open again, “Fuck, nggg…Dean!”
His back arched up with a cry, the coiling heat writhing through him, “Cas, fuck, I – ah, ah, aaaah!”
With a final shout, Alfie’s hips pistoned up into his hand and slammed back down on the dildo and he came –
Come spurting up, painting his chest and even a drop or two spattering his face. He licked his lips, cleaning up the few drops that had reached them, then lay there, panting.
That had been good.
But he still felt… needy.
With a sigh, he reached for his phone and stopped the camera, going to the bathroom to clean himself up before watching the video and screenshotting his favorites, cropping them down, captioning one or two. It was… pretty hot, actually.
Smirking, Alfie opened a new, three-person thread – well, four, counting him, he supposed – and made sure it had the right names before nervously sending the pictures, one by one.
The more he sent, the more nervous he got. He’d never done anything like this before. Not even just him and Benny.
Benny was the first to respond, making Alfie laugh evilly, the butterfly wings in his stomach easing somewhat as he told Benny it was his own fault. But they didn’t go away completely. Neither Dean, nor Cas had said a word about the pictures, and he tried not to fell anxious about it.
Was this stepping out of line? Was this part of moving too fast? Had he made them think all he wanted from them was sex?
The good high he’d ended with ebbed away, leaving him cold and scared. He shoved himself away from the bed and forced himself to dress in boxers and a tee-shirt, then went out to the living room where he bundled up on the couch and stared listlessly at the blank television, waiting for Benny to come home.
He should put it on, distract himself, get himself out of his own mind but he couldn’t make himself move any further.
He was probably overreacting, Alfie knew it, but knowing didn’t stop the tears from pooling in his eyes or keep him from biting his lips for very different reasons than he had half an hour ago as he shivered under the blanket – not because he was cold but because he was upset. He curled in on himself, his fingers cramping because he was holding himself so tightly, afraid he would shake apart.
He wanted comfort, someone to tell him he hadn’t just fucked everything up, but he was alone and he didn’t want to be alone.
Alfie sniffled, his lips quivering briefly till he trapped them between his teeth again. He’d lost track of time, but he hoped Benny would be home soon.
Benny would make it better, would help him fix things if they could be fixed.
Chapter 15: Making the House Theirs
Dean and Cas have a few thing to do around the house. Some *ahem* very important things.
I know you guys were all hoping for an IMMEDIATE resolve but um, this isn't quite it. This is actually pretty much happening at the same time as the last chapter soo..... so it does answer some questions at least.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Dean and Castiel let themselves into the house, Dean grinning broadly.
“Well, that seemed to go well,” he said.
“Dean,” Castiel said, sighing. He watched Dean falter, his smile fading, and Castiel hated that he’d ripped that from him, that he was about to further douse him in the cold water of reality.
“What? It did, didn’t it?” Dean asked, a little more uncertainly now.
Shrugging, Castiel toed off his shoes. “I’m not sure. It did go well. Just… we had all already agreed maybe we weren’t sure how slow or fast to go and then we were, literally, falling into bed together. I can’t help but feel it will have consequences we don’t expect.”
Dean looked suddenly anxious. “Shit. Is that why you pushed us out of there like that?”
“Not consciously, no,” Castiel said. “We do have a lot to do and Jude to take care of, but I was thinking about it on the way home.”
“That explains how quiet you were in the car,’ Dean said. “Now what?”
“I suspect there’s nothing we can do about this just now, so, I’d like to just get started on those things we can,” Castiel said, waving around at the house, currently haphazardly stacked with boxes in otherwise cavernously empty spaces.
“All right, were do you want to start?”
Dean dug out the record player first thing while Cas checked on Jude. She was definitely feeling neglected when he reached her, mewing pitifully when he bent down to pick her up.
“It’s all right, little one. I know. It’s a lot of changes all at once. You’ll be okay,” Castiel whispered to her. “Change can be a good thing. I know it’s sometimes scary, but it can be, I promise.’
Arms wrapped around Castiel from behind, Dean laying a gentle kiss to his neck before nuzzling in. “You talking to yourself or the cat?” he asked softly.
“Mmmm… if I’m honest, perhaps both,” Cas conceded, leaning back into the comfort and stability of Dean’s arms while cradling the squirming kitten in his own. She reached up to tap her paws on his chin and he brought her up to face level to nuzzle the soft fur and her purring.
“All right, little one, I know you want more attention and freedom but the house isn’t ready for you yet,” Castiel said regretfully. He placed her back down in the closet and turned in Dean’s arms, getting a deep kiss as a reward when he did.
“So, we pretty much got this bathroom all set. Thought I’d work on the kitchen. Wanna join me or do you want to work up here instead?” Dean asked.
“Mmm… I think I’ll work up here first. Shouldn’t take too long since we started it yesterday. Than I can let Jude explore when I’m done and after that, I’ll come join you.”
“Okay, babe. Sounds like a plan,” Dean said.
They kissed again, not with a burning need, not at this moment, but something comfortable, a curling warmth that always left Cas feeling so loved and cherished.
Working separately was less fun but it was less distracting not to have Dean there. Castiel finished the bedroom much sooner than he had anticipated. He spent a few moments on the floor with Jude, letting her explore until she seemed comfortable enough, then he moved the baby gate to the bedroom door and followed the enticing smells down the stairs and right into the kitchen.
The kitchen, he amusedly discovered, was a strange, hilarious half-finished state where Dean had apparently stopped midway to make lunch.
Castiel’s stomach rumbled and he really couldn’t find a good reason to object to that.
Dean turned at the sound, his eyes lighting on Cas. “Hey, so, looks like someone – I’m putting money on Sam – dropped some fresh food in the cupboards and the fridge before they left yesterday. Thought we could take a break.”
“Sam is always so thoughtful,” Castiel said with a smile.
“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “Kids practically a saint. But don’t tell him that, okay? I got older brother responsibilities to make his life difficult,” he said, pointing an admonishing finger at Castiel.
Castiel shook his head with a light laugh. “Your secret is safe with me.”
They decided to eat lunch in the little breakfast nook that Castiel suspected would see way more meals than just breakfast, and sat together in companionable near-silence, the record player turning away, the sound of Zepp filling the house, reaching them easily from the livingroom.
Castiel smirked at the choice. Dean had a thing for Zepp, especially a thing for getting Castiel or himself naked to it and proceeding from there.
Which, honestly, Castiel had no objections to that either. They didn’t have to unpack everything at once, after all.
I can work with this, he thought, sending a smirk Dean’s way and pressing up against Dean’s side.
When they finished eating, Dean rose to clear the plates and Castiel’s hand shot out to grab his wrist. Gruffer than he meant to, he said, “Leave it,” and watched Dean’s eyes dilate and heard his breathing hitch.
Ah, yes. Dean was very on board with this. Castiel was even more certain, now, that Dean had been hoping for just this very thing to happen.
“Yes sir,” Dean breathed when he got his voice working again.
“Was there anything in particular you had in mind, my love?” Castiel asked Dean.
‘Nah, just hoping we could spend some time christening a few other rooms of this house. It won’t really be ours till we do,” Dean said.
“Even the kitchen?” Castiel asked curiously, glancing about the room.
Dean grinned. “Fuck yeah.”
“Right here, Dean?” Castiel repeated, raising an eyebrow. “We don’t even have the curtains up yet.”
“We got a whole other room between those windows and the neighbors,” Dean said, pointing towards the enclosed porch room that Castiel was already thinking of turning into an indoor garden. “Which leaves that window,” he gestured toward the big panel window flooding light over the breakfast nook and overlooking the front yard. “And we’re far back enough from the street that any peeping toms would also be trespassers. If they don’t like what they see, they shouldn’t be on our property.”
Humming thoughtfully, Castiel rubbed his thumb over Dean’s wrist. “Can’t fault that reasoning, I suppose,” he said, acting reluctant and drawing the words out slowly.
“Hey, if it truly makes you uncomfortable, we can do this another time or move up to the bedroom or – “
Castiel pulled Dean towards him, his other hand reaching up over Dean’s jaw, caressing gently before sliding to the back of his neck and pulling Dean down till their lips met, cutting him off completely. From the eager way Dean opened beneath his lips, he had no objections.
Kissing him firmly, deeply, Castiel felt Dean squirm under him before Castiel finally broke away to say, “We’ll need lube.”
Dean looked at him in a daze for a second or two, panting hard, before Castiel’s words registered and he grinned. “Way ahead of you, babe,” he said, pulling a tube out of his pocket.
“Good boy, always thinking ahead,” Castiel murmured. He stood, Dean backing up to give him room. “Here’s what I want you to do, my love. I’m going to clear the table so we don’t have any accidents. I want you to strip from the waist down and bend over it, holding yourself open while you keep watch for visitors.”
“Oh fuck,” Dean breathed out, hurrying to comply.
Castiel got rid of the dishes, placing them only in the sink, then taking his time walking back to the table where Dean was doing just as he’d asked, his naked ass thrust out prominently, his legs spread wide and his chest pressed against the golden wood of the table.
He stepped up close, just barely grazing Dean’s skin with his fingers, feeling Dean tremble, hearing the small gasp, watching Dean’s hole clench with anticipation.
The lube, Castiel noted, was placed on the table right beside Dean. He picked it up, opening the tube and spreading it over his fingers. He reached down with one finger, pressing around but not in, teasing Dean as Castiel leaned slightly over him.
“Are you watching out the window like I said to?” Castiel asked, his voice low.
“Y-yeah,” Dean breathed out, his hips moving, rolling back to encourage Castiel to speed things up.
He obliged him, dipping the tip of one finger just past Dean’s rim before pulling back out again and repeating the motion before swirling around the edges and slipping back inside. He relished in the sounds Dean made, quiet, gasping, needy sounds as he pushed back, trying to get Castiel to go deeper.
He could do that, easily and happily. He was just going to do it torturously slow.
“Please, Cas,” Dean begged.
“What would they see, Dean, if someone were to come up the walk right now?” Castiel asked, pressing a second finger inside of Dean, slicking him up from the inside.
“Nnng… nothing… two men, still clothed, standing by the window. One…ah! One’s leaning on the table – for what reason they wouldn’t be able to tell.”
“You like showing off, though, don’t you?” Castiel picked up his pace, thrusting his fingers in and out of Dean’s ass, listening to the delightful moans falling from his lips.
“Only for the… oh god! Yes, fuck, right fucking there!” Dean panted, struggling to finish his words around the pleasure he was so obviously feeling. Castiel loved to do this for him, to make him near mindless with pleasure, to make his husband feel good. “For the right people,” Dean finished breathlessly. “Oh fuck, c’mon, Cas. I’m ready. More than ready babe. Need you now, please.”
Removing his fingers with a slight squelch, Castiel groped the smooth cheeks of Dean’s ass, pushing aside Dean’s hands and kneading the freckled flesh, his thumbs grazing Dean’s hole as he pushed and pulled them apart. Reluctantly letting go, Castiel opened his pants, pushing just enough out of the way to free his cock.
“Brace yourself on the table, my love,” Castiel said as he guided his leaking cock to Dean’s hole, the tip of his erection pushing in slowly as Dean complied, gripping the edge of the table.
Castiel’s head fell back as he pushed in, his own breaths coming in panting gasps. “God, Dean, always feel so good around me,” Castiel said reverently, sliding his hands up Dean’s back, under his shirt, till he reached his shoulders and gripped.
Dean ground back against Castiel and Castiel pulled out, thrusting forward with a snap.
“Fuck, yeah!” Dean groaned.
Castiel moved his hands down Dean’s back to grasp his hips and pulled him in tight against him as he thrust, draping his body over Dean’s to reach his neck, his ear. Castiel whispered to him with every rocking thrust, listening to Dean falling apart under him.
“Feel so good for me, love how you take me so deep,” Castiel punctuated the words with a particularly deep thrust, causing Dean to grunt and whine. “A good boy, always so good, my love.”
He shifted, needing to make sure Dean felt just as good as he did, the curling warmth from earlier now a blazing inferno as his skin burned with every touch of Dean where flesh met flesh and he quietly damned the clothes they still wore for keeping them from touching everywhere.
The change in angle was perfect, judging by the way Dean jerked and twitched against Cas, his ass pushing back in sudden, uncoordinated bursts of movement. Castiel picked up speed, his head dropping between Dean’s shoulder blades as he gasped.
Dean shifted his arms, and his voice muffled.
Castiel growled and thrust hard, thrust deep. “No, my love, be as loud a you want in our home.” He thrust again, and again, sliding slickly in and out of Dean’s ass, Dean clenching around him.
That seemed to do it for Dean, as Dean shouted and arched against Castiel, freezing there for a long moment before slumping back down to the table.
With another low growl, Castiel continued to rock into Dean, his cock throbbing, pulsing, so close, so close, so close –
“Yeah, c’mon baby, come inside me, in our home,” Dean coaxed. “Wanna feel you, feel you dripping down my legs, in every room in this house cause it’s our house and we can do whatever we fucking want in it. We deserve this, Cas, we earned it.”
With a shout muffled in Dean’s rumpled tee shirt, Castiel came, his hips making smaller, shallower thrusts as he emptied himself inside his husband.
Stilling, Castiel slumped over Dean and ran a hand down Dean’s bare leg. They breathed hard together for a moment before Castiel straightened up, slipping free of Deans ass and helping him stand.
“Here, my love, that can’t be comfortable,” he said gently, rubbing his hands up and down Dean’s arms.
“Hmm… it was worth it,” Dean smirked, turning to lean back against the table, still gloriously naked from the waist down. “God, look at you,” he said. “You didn’t even bother taking your pants off. Wanted me that badly, huh?”
“Dean, I will always want you, no matter the form, be it sex, or simply your company,” Castiel said, cupping Dean’s jaw and kissing him.
“Such a sap,” Dean sighed around his lips, but the tugging smile betrayed how much he liked it.
The chime of two phones going off at the same time distracted them. Dean laughed, digging his hand into Castiel’s pockets and dragging out his phone. He looked at Castiel’s raised eyebrow.
“What? Yours is closer,” Dean said, thumbing it open and then gasping.
“What is it, Dean?” Castiel peered around to his phone screen and felt his cock twitch at the series of pictures that had appeared there. “Oh. Oh my,” he gulped.
“Right?” Dean breathed. “Think we still have anything to worry about?”
Castiel didn’t answer, too entranced by the pictures Alfie had sent – the first was a bright blue dildo with a relatively thick girth, (if the comparison to a standard tube of lube sitting beside it was any indication) with the caption “feeling a little lonely right now” and the second had been him biting his lip, eyes half lidded, the hand not holding his phone disappearing off screen.
Imagination would have been sufficient to supply what Alfie’s hand was doing but then another photo popped up, of the head of Alfie’s leaking cock peeking out from his closed fist.
Dean groaned leaning into Castiel and biting lightly at his shoulder. “Oh god, if I hadn’t just come…”
Castiel had to agree, it was a most enticing sight. But he also had to wonder, what had prompted this spree of unsolicited but very much appreciated photos and would Alfie regret it later?
He sure hoped not.
The phone in their hands dinged again and the next several pictures were awkwardly angled shots of Alfie’s wonderfully naked ass as he knelt on the bed they’d all slept in that morning – first sans hands, then being spread wide with his hole on display, then a finger pushing its way inside…
A text appeared next and Dean choked as he buried his face in Castiel’s shirt.
Benny: Cher, you’re killing me.
Alfie: You all shouldn’t have teased me then this morning.
“Payback’s a bitch,” Dean snorted into Castiel’s shirt. “Goddamn, but Alfie’s something else.”
“He is so unabashedly unashamed of what he wants, of his needs,” Castiel said. “It’s refreshing to see. It makes me feel… freer, being with him.”
“Yeah, I think I know what you mean,” Dean said slowly.
Another ping, another picture and Dean’s eyes darkened. He looked up at Castiel. “If he keeps this up, I’m gonna be ready for round two in no time.”
“I think I can handle that,” Castiel said, dipping in close to nuzzle along Dean’s neck, nipping lightly along his throat up to his ear. “What room do you want to christen next?”
“Oh fuck,” Dean breathed, letting his head roll to the side, giving Castiel all the access he could want. “How about all of ‘em?”
“That could take a while,” Castiel murmured into Dean’s neck, sucking lightly.
“I’m good with that,” Dean said, his voice going up a few octaves when Castiel bit down. Dean’s hands came around Castiel’s waist, dropping the phone unnoticed to the table and dipping into the back of his husbands’ pants. Castiel groaned at the touch, thrusting forward against Dean’s hip.
Dean spun them about, tugging Castiel out of the kitchen, Castiel following easily with a chuckle while Dean smirked at him, mischief in his eyes and his voice low,
“So very, very good with that.”
NEXT chapter. PROMISE. Benny'll get to the root of it all, and Alfie's gonna get some comfort.
Chapter 16: A Bear's Comfort
Benny comes home to a distraught boyfriend and does what he does best, takes care of him.
ah, i couldn't think of a better chapter title. i'm sorry it's so lame.
so this is going up super early because the next few days are probably going to be an exhausting S*storm and i'm afraid i'll forget and i KNOW everyone's anxious to get on with the Alfie comforts/resolution. This is part 1 of that :D
also, i'm pretty sure i figured out why the chapters are shorter this time around. it has to do with all the different POV's and the fact that unlike the festival, they're not occupying the same space 9 times out of ten. plus, it felt right, where the other story started out more alfie-centric and evolved, this is a story with the four of them navigating towards a real relationship together and thus i wanted/needed to give them all weight - if that makes sense?
<< how do you keep up with him – Dean, btw
The message came from Cas’s phone and Benny chuckled. Before he could answer, though, the bell dinged and he looked up to see Jody walk in.
“Heya, Benny. How ya doin’?” she asked, coming up to the counter.
“All right. Things are looking up,” he said, jerking his head over towards the kitchen. “New guy started today.”
“Now that’s what I like to hear,” she said, grinning.
“On or off?” he asked, picking up the coffee pot and holding it up for her.
“Off,” she said, sliding into a seat.
He nodded and brought up a freshly cleaned mug and poured her coffee just how she liked it – black and strong. They chatted idly before he returned to the kitchen to check on his cooks. Julian would be leaving soon, but Rich was still going strong, and Benny liked that he was able to divide his attention better to keep an eye on things but still do the thing he loved the most – cook.
Still, he wasn’t so lost in his work that he didn’t check his phone and after a while, Benny began to frown.
Alfie had stopped responding to any and all texts in the message thread he’d started – not even the tantalizingly beautiful pictures Cas and Dean had sent some time after, showing just what they’d been up to themselves after Alfie had practically egged them on.
Benny was, in fact, the only one who hadn’t been able to take care of things and he’d found himself hoping Alfie would be up for it when he got home.
Yet, Alfie wasn’t answering the phone.
Benny tried to shrug it off. Alfie was probably exhausted and had hit the hay a little early.
He found himself antsier than usual to get home throughout the rest of the night, so much so that even Rich could tell something was up, despite only knowing Benny for the better part of a single day.
When at last the diner was closed out, cleaned and the bank drop was made, Benny raced back home, hoping that he was imagining things and there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for the sudden radio silence from his boyfriend.
Convincing himself there must be, forcing himself to relax, Benny hummed as he hit the stairs, glad to be home in any case. It had been a long day – no less long than any of the rest over the last few weeks but he was feeling strangely invigorated as he took the steps two at a time.
He opened the door to find the apartment quiet and dark. Instantly concerned, almost as if his worst fears were confirmed – he could be sleeping, he reminded himself - Benny flicked the switch by the door and looked around.
“Alfie? Hey cher, I’m home.”
No answer. Alfie had to be sleeping, right? It was a reasonable enough thought. It had been a long day for Alfie too, not just Benny, with more than a few emotional rollercoasters along the way, what with the talk with Chuck about the holidays and the continuing strain of forging a relationship from scratch and watching for landmines. To the surprise reveal of Dean’s brother and the split second of panic that came with him knowing about them. Neither Benny nor Alfie knew how people were going to take the idea of the four of them all being together, and Sam – as Dean’s brother – was likely to be protective of him.
No matter how well those things had turned out, the back and forth like a yo-yo was sure to be exhausting, and would have hit Alfie harder than it hit Benny. Alfie hated strife and strived for approval in nearly all things, holdovers from the environment he’d been raised in.
“Cher, you asleep? You haven’t been answering your phone…” He called out. Benny toed off his shoes and put dinner down on the counter, looking for signs of life.
There was a snuffle and he walked over to the couch till he could see the curled-up lump huddling miserably under the blanket.
Benny swiftly came around the couch and dropped to his knees beside Alfie, knowing his worst fears had been confirmed but not yet sure the best way to help. He’d have to, as usual, take his cue from Alfie and hope it wasn’t so bad that Benny couldn’t help.
“Cher? Alfie, you okay? What’s wrong?” Benny laid a hand gently on the lump. Alfie mumbled and drew the blanket over his head.
His heart broke. “Let me help ya, cher,” he said softly, desperately. He hated seeing Alfie like this. Benny ran a hand over the curled form of Alfie. “Please, talk to me,” he pleaded, swallowing hard. “If you need space, I’ll give it to ya, but please, say somethin’.”
The blanket shifted and Alfie’s eyes poked out, red rimmed and watering. Benny held back the sigh of relief that Alfie had at least opened up that much.
“It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
“You ain’t stupid,” Benny said softly. He threaded his fingers into Alfie’s floppy hair and gave him a scratch. Alfie leaned into it, allowing himself that much comfort, at least, and Benny took it as a sign. How much human interaction Alfie was willing to put up with when he was in a mood was a good barometer on how badly he was feeling. So Benny kept the touches light, leaving everything in Alfie’s court but making sure Alfie knew he was there for him.
Of course, what Benny really wanted to do was take Alfie in his arms and cuddle with him until Alfie melted into the warmth and they both relaxed into sleep and good dreams.
But that wasn’t an option just yet. Later, perhaps, after Benny had a chance to find out what had set him off and see if there was any way to talk him down.
“I am,” Alfie sniffled.
“Well, why don’t you tell me why you think you’re stupid. Maybe this is one of those times another perspective is what you really need here, cher,” Benny cajoled
“It’s… about earlier. I don’t know how to say it Benny, but I think I fucked up.”
“You mean the pictures?” Benny asked. How had a few, simple pictures – hot as they may have been – sent Alfie down a spiral?
Alfie nodded miserably.
“Why would you think that? I know I didn’t mind them – I was a bit surprised, I’ll admit, you’ve never done anything like it before but I sure didn’t mind, I promise. Though I almost choked on my coffee when I opened them. I was just glad no one was looking over my shoulders when I did. It would have horrified the girls, I’m fairly sure.”
“Oh lord, bear,” Alfie shot up, his eyes going wide. “I didn’t even think of – oh my god, what if someone else had seen? I’m so stupid!” he wailed, throwing himself into Benny’s arms. Benny nearly sagged at the contact that Alfie had initiated. He pulled Alfie against him tight, slumping back on his heels and cradling his boyfriend, burying his head in Alfie’s neck.
“Shhh… no one else saw except who you’d intended on, and we all liked the pictures. Didn’t you see the ones Dean and Cas sent back?”
Alfie pulled back, his brow scrunched together. “They did?’
Benny sighed. “I’m taking that as a no.”
Shaking his head, Alfie curled back into benny’s arms. “I thought…” he took a shuddering breath. “I thought they were upset that… unsolicited dick pics and all that. And then, I thought about how it must seem to them, that… that all I was interested in was sex. When, god Benny, it’s so much more than that.” Alfie toyed with the collar of Benny’s shirt as he talked, squirming around to lay his head against Benny’s chest.
“Oh,” Benny breathed out in understanding. “Oh, I’m sure they don’t believe that. Far from it. I think its pretty clear what we all want here. It’s just that, no one really seems to know how to go forward with it, not even them, for all their experience with other couples. We’re all gonna make mistakes. It’s a given in any relationship. Remember how ours started?”
He smiled when the question evoked a giggle from Alfie. “God, bear, we danced around each other for so long, both of us convinced the other wanted nothing more than friendship, both of us determined to settle for it if that was all we could have.”
“See? But we figured it out. We talked about it and we made things work. We just… have two more people to talk to these days than we used to,” Benny said, rubbing at Alfie’s back.
They sat that way a while, Benny offering and Alfie taking, comfort in each other’s arms, though Benny’s knees were starting to hurt something awful on the bare floor and their dinner was likely long cold by now. Though none of that mattered while Alfie was hurting.
At last, Alfie pulled away, and stood.
“Lord, Benny, get up off the floor,” he said, flushing as he gave Benny his hands to help him up. “You must be hurting.”
“Not nearly as much as you were. You feeling any better?” Benny asked as he rose, leaning forward to plant a chaste kiss on Alfie’s cheek. Alfie nodded. “You hungry?’
Alfie tilted his head for a long moment before nodding again. “A little, maybe.”
“All right then, how about dinner in bed? I’ll reheat dinner and meet you there,” Benny suggested.
“Okay, but don’t take too long,” Alfie said, biting his lips.
“That depends on the food, now,” Benny said with a smile. “But I’m sure you can kill some time checking your phone. Whatever we all decide on for the future, it’d be a shame to let Cas and Dean’s response to all your hard work go to waste.”
Alfie flushed again ducking his head but he gave Benny’s hand a squeeze before going back to the bedroom. Benny stood there for a long moment before shaking his head and going to warm up his food.
As the food warmed up, he leaned back on the counter with his arms cross over his chest.
Should he say something to Dean or Cas? Should he wait till morning or poke them now? It was obvious they really needed to talk, if for nothing else, for Alfie’s peace of mind. Benny was sure neither of the men thought any less of Alfie for the, er, selfies… nor would they have meant to send Alfie into a panic.
Digging into his pocket, Benny took out his phone and scrolled back through the thread.
Dean and Cas had answered – eventually. But there’d been at least an hour from when the first picture was sent to when they had actually piped in.
It could be they hadn’t even checked their phones at that exact moment… or the phones could have died… or they’d been in the middle of getting frisky and the pictures had just egged them on.
Which their own pictures seemed to bear out, at any rate.
Still, the simple fact was that their slow response time could have been caused by any number of things, but Alfie had jumped to the worst conclusion. It hadn’t been meant with malice, Benny was sure, but this new into the relationship, with someone like Alfie who constantly worried about doing the wrong things, the delay had been crucial.
Not for the first time, Benny cursed Alfie’s family – his fake family – and he was doubly glad that they’d no longer be able to hurt anyone else the way Alfie had been.
The microwave dinged and he grabbed the food and some napkins, reached into the fridge for two bottles of water, then made his way to the bedroom.
Alfie was curled up under the blankets, hugging Benny’s pillow, scrolling through his phone.
He looked up when Benny entered, swallowing. “You were right. I was overreacting.”
“Now, did I say you overreacted?” Benny said, setting everything down on the night table and shucking off his pants, socks and shirt, leaving him bare down to his boxers before climbing into the bed beside Alfie. He pushed one of the many pillows on the bed behind him, pulled the blanket over his legs and waved Alfie in.
Alfie pushed himself up, dragging the pillow along with him and tucking it behind himself so he could sit up and lean on Benny as they ate.
“You didn’t have to. It was plain as day as soon as…” he sighed. “Like I said, I’m stupid. Just… for different reasons than I thought.”
“And I already told you, you ain’t,” Benny said softly, tipping Alfie’s chin up to face him. “Whatever I can do to make you believe that, I will. We all overreact sometimes –“ Alfie opened his mouth and Benny tapped his finger to his lips. “Shh, wait and let me finish, cher. We do, all of us. And it’s natural to worry, especially when things are new. Only things gonna fix that, is talkin’.”
Alfie groaned and ducked his head down into Benny’s chest.
“I know,” he admitted, his words muffled from his position. “But… not tonight, please? I think we should just get some sleep.”
“Sleep is good,” Benny agreed with a hum, moving his hand so he could drape it around Alfie, cupping Alfie’s elbow and pulling him in close. “But food first.”
“Don’t know how much I’ll be able to eat, bear. My stomachs still full of those stupid butterflies. And not even the good kind,” Alfie sighed. His own arms came up around Benny’s waist as he snuggled in close, throwing a leg over Benny’s, briefly tickling the hair on Benny’s leg before coming down more firmly.
Benny rubbed at Alfie’s arm. “You’d make me feel better if you at least tried, though,” he said. “I made something easy, all finger foods. Got some of my Boudin sausage, as well as those roasted potatoes you like so much.”
“Mmm… I can smell ‘em. That is pretty hard to pass up,” Alfie conceded. “I’ll give it a shot.”
“That’s my boy,” Benny said with a grin, relief washing through him. Alfie was talking, cuddling, and willing to work with him. That meant that his mood or episode or whatever it was, was temporary and fixable. Benny reached for the container and placed it on his lap, flicking the lid open. He picked up one of the small potatoes and held it to Alfie’s lips.
Alfie closed his mouth around it with a hum, chewing slowly. Eagerly, he sat up straighter, still laying across Benny’s chest, taking whatever Benny gave him, Benny eating his own morsels between Alfie’s bites. Before long, the food was gone and they were both swallowing down their bottles of water and then Benny was standing to toss their garbage.
He froze when Alfie’s fingers clutched at him before Alfie let go, his expression panicked for just a second before he shook his head, and cleared it away.
“Go on, bear,” Alfie said, smiling up at him. “I know you’re coming back. I just couldn’t help it.”
Benny leaned down to kiss Alfie’s forehead. “It’s all right, Alfie. I’ll take any excuse to cuddle you, s’long as you want me to, you know that.”
“I do, Benny,” Alfie said, sitting straight up and grasping his hand, looking into Benny’s eyes earnestly. “I’ll always want you, in all ways possible. You know that, right?”
“I know,” Benny said, caressing Alfie’s cheek. “And I count myself lucky, every goddamn day.” Benny knew where his own insecurities lie, at whose feet the fault could be laid. He did a very good job, he thought, of not letting them interfere with his relationship with Alfie, but sometimes it did leave him speechless, knowing that Alfie loved him, truly loved him and wasn’t about to leave him. Not like…
No, he wasn’t going to think about her. About them.
He wasn’t going to let his own past interfere with his relationship with Alfie – not before and not now – nor their budding relationship with Cas and Dean.
The four of them had found something special, despite the insecurities and the trauma’s they’d all endured – or maybe because of it? He wouldn’t know. That would be a question for Missouri – if he ever got around to doing what he’d planned, that is.
Still, the fact that, with all those things hanging over their heads, that Alfie and he could even entertain the idea of being with Cas and Dean and not feel like they were losing the other, or feeling jealous over it, it had to mean something. He was sure of it.
And it was something they couldn’t let slip through their fingers.
Not without trying, at least.
He dumped the trash, grabbed another couple of bottles of water and rejoined Alfie on the bed, turning off the light as they curled around each other.
Listening to Alfie’s breathing, Benny didn’t truly relax until it slowed and Alfie finally fell asleep. When it was clear he had, though, Benny’s muscles uncoiled. He snuggled down and finally, he let his own eyes slip shut and Benny allowed himself to join his boyfriend in slumber at last.
They all still had a lot of talking to do, but Alfie’d be all right.
Chapter 17: Open Communications
Dean wakes to some concerning texts from Benny, and the wait for the four of them to get together is absolutely agonizing.
I debated this chapter - at first, i didn't think it was necessary, unsure how to 'bring things up with Dean and Cas without making Alfie more upset, but then i realized i needed something in the next chapter (which was already written) to cover at least some of what had transpired here. but when i did that, it really didn't feel like enough so... EXTRA CHAPTER!
Also, the next couple are gonna be hella domestic. just to warn you.
Dean woke the next morning with something tickling his neck. He frowned and scratched at it, curling closer to his husband, wrapping his arms around Cas tighter, slipping a naked leg between Cas’s.
He was warm and content as he snuggled down deeper, breathing in Cas’s scent were his nose was buried in Cas’s neck.
Something tickled him again.
He frowned, scratching at his neck and now his fingers were being tickled. Something cold poked him, then something vaguely wet and slightly scratchy rasped across his fingertips.
Whiskers. And a tongue.
He caught the little kitten so she wouldn’t fall when he rolled to his back, then plopped her down on his chest with a sigh.
“Some of us were sleeping, you know,” Dean said to the kitten. She stared back uncomprehendingly before nosing against his cheek, turning it into a series of head butts.
“Some of us still are,” Cas grumbled.
Dean grinned at his grumpy husband’s back and carefully rolled over, depositing the kitten back on the floor first – wait, how had she gotten up onto the bed? – slinging his arm back over Cas’s bare skin and pressing a kiss into his back.
“Someone all wore out from yesterday?” Dean teased.
“Go back to sleep, Dean,” Cas mumbled, words slurring.
“Can’t,” Dean said, pressing more kisses along Cas’s shoulder and rolling his hips gently into Cas’s ass. “I got this problem, doc…” another kiss. “Was hoping you could help me out with it?”
“Only if I can keep sleeping,” Cas said.
“Challenge accepted,” Dean grinned with another roll of his hips. His fingers splayed out over Cas’s belly and they drifted downward –
Thirty seconds of loud rock music played, once, twice, three times in succession as a series of texts pinged Dean’s phone.
He groaned, hitting his head on Cas. Whose bright idea was it to download a music clip for a text sound anyway? Oh yeah, his.
It pinged again.
“Answer it, Dean,” Cas grumbled, rolling to his front and pulling a pillow over his head. Dean sighed and moved so he could grab his phone. Thumbing it on, he noticed it was only 7am and the texts were all from Benny.
<< are you and Cas free later today? Say, early afternoon?
<< If you have time, I would really appreciate if you could come by our place.
<< kind of important.
<< Oh, and don’t tell Alfie. He’ll spend the rest of the morning panicking.
Dean shot up in the bed, jostling Cas as he did, staring down at the phone, an edge of uneasiness curling around him. Shit. That sounded like something was up. That wasn’t a ‘let’s hang out’ kind of message. Well, the ‘kind of important’ was a dead giveaway there.
“Hmm… Dean? What is it?” a hand grasped his thigh and he looked down to see Cas had turned over further to face him, the pillow pushed off his face so he could stare blearily at Dean with concern.
“Uh… not sure, but... I think somethings up,” Dean said softy, handing Cas his phone. Cas brought it close to his face with the hand that had been on Dean’s leg, the other scratched lazily at the small of Dean’s back as he read the back to back texts.
“Oh, that does sound like somethings up.” Cas sat up, the blanket slipping away and exposing his husband in all his naked glory. Except Dean couldn’t take the time to appreciate that as Cas handed him back the phone.
“That’s it? That’s all you got to say?” Dean asked, panic edging the tone of his voice more than he’d like. Sure, he was anxious, but he didn’t need to freak out. Right?
“Dean, I refuse to jump to conclusions. What do you want me to say?” Cas asked all too reasonably.
“Well,” Dean floundered. “What do we say?”
“We say yes, we’re free to meet them later today,” Cas said, standing up with a yawn and an otherwise delicious stretch if Dean wasn’t so busy gaping at his husband for completely different reasons.
He snapped his jaw shut. “Well, of course. But I meant – “
Cas turned, put a knee up on the bed and leaned forward to reach Dean, catching Dean’s jaw in his hand. “Relax, Dean. Do not borrow trouble before it’s time. But above all else --” Cas’s eyes bored into Deans. “I need coffee.”
Leaving the room, Cas paused only long enough to drag a pair of boxers on, leaving Dean on the bed alone.
“Well, that was super helpful,” he said sarcastically. Jude’s face peeked up over the edge of the bed as she clawed her way up the blankets. He sighed and snagged her, plopping her into the blankets before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and fished around for his own boxers.
When he got downstairs, Cas stood slumped beside the coffee pot as it gurgled and Dean decided to take pity on him, pulling out eggs, bacon and bread. He wasn’t all that hungry, his stomach a sudden mass of nerves, but he knew he’d better face the day on a full stomach.
Or at least a semi-full one.
Or whatever he could manage, at any rate. Soon enough, Dean and Cas sat side by side at the breakfast nook they’d eaten at the night before.
And… other things, Dean thought, flushing.
More awake now, Cas took Dean’s phone and scrolled through the messages again. His fingers flew over the non-existent keys – seriously, how was Cas so good at that? Dean usually made typo after typo – checked it and hit send before handing the phone back to Dean.
Dean fumbled it, turning it back on to see what he sent.
“That’s it?” he asked, looking at Cas. “Just a “Sure, what time?’’
“What else would you have me say? If it’s important enough that Benny wants to talk with us in person, there’s not much else he’s going to say over the phone. And anyway, you know he’s working and that new guy will take a while to settle in enough before Benny can feel comfortable leaving his pride and joy unattended unless it’s at certain times of the day. Which means he’s busy. And is probably why he suggested the afternoon.”
Dean couldn’t argue that logic and he sighed, putting his head into his hands.
Everything had seemed to be going so well. Even when Dean thought he’d pushed too far, too fast, even when Cas thought maybe Dean was celebrating too soon, Dean had been unable to believe it was true.
Hell, would Alfie have sent those selfies later if Dean had fucked everything up beyond all recognition?
Huh. Selfies. Well, maybe there was actually a clue there? He picked up his phone, scrolling through the group message thread and his heart sank when he realized that all conversation with Alfie cut off nearly immediately. There were the photos, the brief banter between Benny and Alfie and then… nothing, until another vigorous round of fucking later, Dean and Cas had reciprocated the photos. A brief conversation between him and Benny and then radio silence.
Alfie was strong but also sensitive. Like Dean still found himself doing, occasionally, Alfie sought the approval of those he cared for.
Cas and Dean had all but ignored him. Once caught in a spiral, he would have never noticed they had been about as far from ignoring him as they could have been without actually picking up the phone or hopping in the car to meet with him. By the time they’d answered him, it’d been too late.
What had Benny found at home afterwards?
How upset had Alfie been and how pissed off was Benny about it?
The thoughts turned around and around in his head all morning, wrenching him tighter and tighter. He tried to distract himself with more unpacking, making lists of things they’d need, but the effort was slow going with the worry and guilt simmering beneath his skin.
Finally, too soon and yet not soon enough, it was time to meet with Benny and Alfie. Cas grabbed their coats, handing Dean his and slipping his trenchcoat on.
All too silently, they drove over to Benny and Alfie’s place, Cas texting Benny as Dean drove to warn they were on their way.
Benny met them at the door, opening it nearly as soon as Dean knocked on it, all nerves and bravado. He looked at them sympathetically, a friendly smile of greeting still spreading across his face and Dean’s nerves settled a little bit. If he was smiling that way, Benny wasn’t pissed. Not that benny couldn’t smile while he was pissed, but it wasn’t that kind of smile. This kind made his eyes crinkle up and his body was mostly relaxed.
“Come on in,” he said. his drawl – something that made Dean shiver – was more pronounced then usual. It had happened a few times before but Dean was too busy nodding and being guided inside by Cas to figure out why.
A door opened further in and Dean turned toward the voice that called out.
“Benny, who’s here - ?” Alfie asked, popping out of the bedroom before freezing and flushing when he caught sight of Dean and Cas.
“Now, don’t be mad cher, but we all promised to talk about things, keep an open line of communication between us all if we want to make this work, right?” Benny asked, crossing instantly over to Alfie.
He nodded jerkily and let out a breath. “Yeah…” he looked down and away, grabbing at his arm and rubbing at it a little before letting his hand drop again.
Leading the way back to the couch, the four of them attempted to get comfortable. Dean once more elected to allow the others to take the couch, simply sitting on the arm of it when everyone else was finally settled. Nobody spoke for a few, long moments.
Far too long.
Nobody – least of all Dean – seemed to know how to broach the subject of what was wrong.
Benny sighed. “So, I have no idea how to start this conversation, cause y’all ain’t at fault here –“
“No, just me,” Alfie said sadly, staring at his bare toes.
“Or yours,” Benny said quickly. “We been over this.”
Alfie made a sound, something so wounded Dean wanted so badly to reach out to him and give him comfort. But something was wrong right now and he didn’t know if that was even a good idea.
“Is this… about the selfies yesterday?” Dean asked quietly.
Dropping his face into his hands and hiding, Alfie nodded. Benny laid a big hand on his back and rubbed up and down Alfie’s spine soothingly but didn’t push. Alfie finally lifted his head and stared at Dean and Cas with eyes that had evidently cried sometime in the last 24 hours or less.
“Sort of?” Alfie said uncertainly. “We – I – I’m just not sure where we stand, or if we all think we’re on the same page or not and I felt like, like maybe I’d crossed a line last night with the, the unsolicited pics of me in, in various states.” He swallowed. “And when you didn’t answer, I had some time to think about it and I just… oh god, I mean, it occurred to me that, y’all must think I’m so shallow. That, that all I want from this, from you, is sex.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “And it’s not true! But what must you think of me? Nearly every encounter we’ve had has ended in sex, almost always because of me.”
Dean jerked up off the arm of the couch as Alfie finished, breathing through his nose. “Dammit! This is my fault. I fucking knew it. I fucked things up!”
He paced in circles at the end of the couch behind Cas, hands on his head, angry at himself. Breathing was hard, his chest tight.
“Dean!” Cas said – from the tone of his voice, he’d called Dean more than once. Dean stopped nearly instantly, stumbling as he turned to face Cas. “Hold your breath for 5 seconds, then breath out slowly and repeat until you are calm enough to speak.”
Complying, Dean closed his eyes and his fingers clenched around his hair as he breathed. As he followed Cas’s directions, Cas spoke.
“Alfie, I can assure you that we never thought that way. We want to pursue this because we both feel like there’s something special here, between us. And I think that’s something we all feel,” Cas said. “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex, either. Dean and I both enjoy how free you are with your sexuality. It’s refreshing and captivating to see you so into it. But we also have enjoyed our talks and seeing the other things that make you happy. Both of you.”
Daring to open his eyes, Dean saw Alfie staring at Cas hopefully, Benny’s arm around his shoulders and giving him comfort. Alfie hung on Cas’s every word, and Dean knew how that was.
“This is all new territory for all of us. We’re sorry that you put yourself out there last night and we didn’t say anything. Honestly, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Alfie, you’re beautiful,” Cas insisted.
Benny was nodding agreement and Alfie flushed. Dean stepped closer, also nodding gently and laying a hand on Cas’s shoulder. Cas looked up at him briefly, approvingly, when he did, and reached up to cover Dean’s hand with his own, giving it a squeeze before returning his attention to Alfie, where it currently belonged, but leaving his hand on Dean’s.
Dean was instantly ashamed that he’d created a situation that had left Cas balancing the needs of 2 distraught people at the same time. He knew that Cas wouldn’t blame him, and he had the feeling neither Benny nor Alfie would either, but they were here because of Alfie’s worries.
“Now,” Cas said. “If you’re that worried about it, then I have a suggestion…”
Chapter 18: Dinner Date at Dean and Cas's
It's been a few weeks and things are going well with dates together whenever they could... including tonight.
all the domesticity ever...
also, thank you so much for all the comments over the past few chapters about Alfie's reactions to everything and how it was handled!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Alfie is just smitten with that kitten,” Dean said with a chortle.
“Dean,” Cas chided with a roll of his eyes.
“What?” Dean asked, eyes wide but still shining with mirth.
Two weeks since they’d moved to Sioux Falls and Dean and Cas were settling in fairly well. It helped that they were already familiar with most of the town and a number of its inhabitants, of course, but still, the speed in which they’d become comfortable had been nothing short of amazing.
The last place they’d lived had taken forever to ‘feel’ like home.
This place already did.
Of course, they’d had Benny and Alfie over several times over those weeks, despite the disarray of the house, so maybe that had something to do with it, even accounting for the near disaster those first few days.
Dean was still kicking himself over that, though Castiel had told him the fault was just as much his as Dean’s, and even though both Benny and Alfie had insisted that it was nobody’s fault.
Still, even if the outcome was good, the idea that Dean and Cas had caused Alfie distress because they’d gotten distracted having sex… it hadn’t made Dean feel all that good about himself when they’d found out and he’d required more than one scene with Cas to help him over it.
Benny had asked the next morning if they could have a meeting that afternoon, if Cas and Dean could meet them back at Benny and Alfie’s place. Dean had immediately known something was up, and he’d been nervous as fuck when he and Cas had knocked on the apartment door.
He’d just known that Benny or Alfie or both were going to say, “Never mind. We changed our minds, we don’t want to do this.”
What they’d really wanted to say, however, had surprised them both.
When Alfie had confided his fears that they would think all he wanted them around for was sex and that Alfie had been feeling guilty over, well, everything they’d done over the last day or so, Dean hadn’t reacted well, filled with guilt himself, catching Cas’s glance – a reminder of Dean’s thought the day before about how things had seemed to go well, but Cas had gotten the feeling it hadn’t.
Well, Cas had been right.
In the end though, they’d worked out a compromise. Sex was off limits for the time being. Kissing was fine, cuddling too, but they’d agreed to a period of time where they’d be together physically without it being about sex, just to prove to each other that sex wasn’t what everything was all about.
Dean was finding it strangely refreshing, though anticipation filled him as the self-imposed time frame came closer to its end.
All in all, though, Cas’s suggestion – because of course it had been Cas, he was the genius – was working well. They were still spending quality time with the other couple and getting to know them even better than before.
To top it all off, Benny was looking better rested, Dean had noticed, which in turn was causing Alfie less stress. The new cook was definitely the difference there, but watching Alfie with Jude, Dean was putting his money on the kitten helping too.
Maybe keeping her hadn’t been the worst idea after all. Everyone in his life seemed to love her and she was charming in her way, even Dean had to admit, sneezing aside.
Shaking his head, Dean left the living room and returned to the kitchen, watching Benny work effortlessly and fluidly in what should have been an unfamiliar (and probably not properly stocked – at least by his standards) space. Shaking his head again, Dean leaned on the counter beside him.
“You do this all day, every day, for a living. Don’t you ever get tired of it?”
“Nah, I love it. ‘sides, I’m doing less now that I’ve got the new cook. He’s a keeper. I hope we can entice him to stick around longer than he usually stays at places,” Benny said.
Dean nodded. “Right, right. Wandering spirit type, huh?”
Benny nodded. “Seems to be. I think he’s looking for something. I hope he finds it here, I’ll hate to see him go.”
“Yeah, I’ll cross my fingers for you. Seriously, though, let me help. I may not be a school taught chef, but it is my house and you’re my guest and I do enjoy cooking,” Dean insisted.
Benny paused and smiled, “Sure thing, Dean.”
Leaning over, Benny kissed Dean deeply, ending in a series of lighter kisses and a small teasing nip, before pulling away and handing Dean a spoon.
Dean blinked dazedly. “Damn, Benny,” he breathed. “Hope you don’t treat all your cooks this way. Do we all need to be jealous of Richard?”
“Nah,” Benny chuckled. “Not only is he not my type, but I think I got more than enough to keep me happy with you, Alfie and Cas. No need to be jealous.”
“Who’s jealous?” Alfie asked, padding into the kitchen, guiding the red penlight that Jude was currently scrabbling after while Cas followed along, his phone in hand. The dork had probably been taking pictures. Next thing Dean knew, Cas would probably be making a kitty scrapbook or something.
And yes, Dean would sit through every second of it. Because it was Cas.
“Nobody,” Benny said. “Dean’s causin’ trouble.”
“Hey!” Dean protested.
“That sounds about right,” Cas agreed with a low rumble.
Dean put down the spoon, ignoring Benny’s raised brow, his silent question, and walked over to Cas, careful not to touch him.
“How are you feelin’, babe?” Dean asked softly.
Watching Alfie and Jude for a long moment, Cas remained quiet, with one hand wrapped around the arm hanging slack at his side, still holding his phone. He shrugged, finally, and answered.
“Still got the heebie jeebies?” Dean asked cautiously.
Cas nodded, a flash of guilt crossing his face.
“I’m sorry, my love,” he said softly.
“Don’t be. It’s okay,” Dean assured him. “Sometimes that’s just how it is, right?”
“I feel like I’ve ruined tonight’s plans,” Cas answered morosely. Not that tonight’s plans had been anything more exciting then dinner and then cuddling on the couch while watching a movie, but with Cas feeling off, cuddling was off the table.
Dean ached to take Cas in his arms and soothe the guilt away, but knew better. Knew that when Cas was feeling like this, he hated being touched by other people. Sometimes, even clothes could feel like too much to him. He just wished he knew a way to make it instantly better for Cas.
Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, Dean cursed Cas’s parents.
“Go on, it looked like you were helping Benny cook and I know how you love that,” Cas said, urging Dean on.
“And helping others. It’s one of the reasons I love you so. You’re so selfless, Dean,” Cas said.
Dean blushed. “Don’t know about that,” he mumbled.
“You are. Now go on.”
Wishing Cas was in a mood to be kissed, Dean sighed and rejoined Benny instead, rolling up his sleeves and accepting the spoon. Cas settled down in the breakfast nook, apparently content to observe everyone rather than partake.
“He all right?” Benny asked, his voice low enough just to reach Dean’s ears.
“Yeah, he’s… having one of his days,” Dean said.
“Did something happen?” Benny asked, his eyes flicking from his work, to Dean and over to Cas before landing solidly back on Dean. Dean tried not to squirm under his gaze.
He shrugged instead. “Don’t know. Sometimes there’s a trigger, and other times… if there is one, we haven’t found it. It doesn’t happen a lot any more but, when it does… I try to give him the space he needs.”
“You want us to go?” Benny asked, his hand reaching for a knob on the stove and hovering over it. Dean follows the movement blankly before everything processed and he understood what Benny was offering.
“What?” Dean blinked. “No, actually. This helps.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Trust me,” Dean said. “Cas and I have been dealing with this for a while and yeah, it was a bit of trial and error at first but we hit on a few things that help. Depends on how bad a day he’s having. Today’s not a bad one. Being around people who don’t treat him weird because of it? It helps.”
“Okay,” Benny let out a breath, his hand falling away from the stove. “but if anything changes, you let us know.”
Dean quirked a grin back at him. “Of course.”
The quiet talk out of the way, Benny directed Dean around his own kitchen to peel this, chop that, all while he worked on his own thing. It was a lot of food but damn did it smell good and there were four of them, so Dean didn’t think anything of it.
He paused long enough to put some music on and then continued to follow Benny’s directions, his stomach grumbling all the while.
Thankfully, dinner was ready a short while later but none of it was actually the stuff Benny had had Dean working on. Instead, as he served steaks, scalloped potatoes, cauliflower with cheese and some tomato and cucumber dish, Dean glanced back over at the stove, where their biggest pot was simmering away.
He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the pot even as Benny and Dean joined Cas and Alfie in the little nook that Cas had fallen in love with. Technically it was a breakfast nook, but so far, they’d been eating every meal there.
Dean was okay with that. It was pretty cozy, especially after they’d added a few throw pillow to the benches.
“So, Benny, what’s up with that?”
“It’s a version of Pasta Fazul that I found online and it ain’t for tonight. It’s got homemade sauce which takes a while, but when it’s done, it’ll pack up well to make meals throughout the week,” Benny said.
“Benny, you didn’t have to do that,” Cas spoke up from beside Dean.
“It’s okay. I like to make things and you two have been running pretty ragged the past few weeks, getting settled into your new jobs, unpacking, going furniture shopping. Figured I’d make you something you could just heat up and eat when you come back too tired to cook,” Benny shrugged, cutting into his steak. “It’s a mite healthier than ordering take out every night.”
“How did you know - ?” Dean protested, blushing. Benny wasn’t wrong. At all. Dammit. How had the man figured him out so fast?
“I ain’t a mind reader if that’s what you’re thinkin’. I saw Chinese food containers in the fridge while cookin’ tonight and there were pizza boxes out by the curb when we arrived, and none of that was here when we were, just 3 nights ago,” Benny said.
“Plus, Bobby came by this morning,” Alfie said.
Dean’s face burned as he muttered, “Traitor,” under his breath.
“Go on now and eat,” Benny huffed, hiding a smile behind his food as he brought a forkful of it to his mouth. Dean could still see the edges of it though.
He took a bite of his steak and moaned. “Oh. My. God. This is heaven!” he mumbled around his food.
“Mmmm… I agree. This makes me very happy,” Cas agreed. He looked at Alfie solemnly. “He’s a keeper.”
“Seriously, man, what kind of steaks are these?”
“They’re absolutely perfect,” Dean moaned around another mouthful.
“Glad to hear it. Now if you could only convince this heathen of that,” Benny said, nudging Alfie.
“Hey! I stand by that breakfast sandwich!”
“Breakfast… sandwich… out of steak? Out of this steak?” Dean asked incredulously.
“Mmhmm…” Alfie hummed, casting his eyes up dreamily. “Take the leftovers, fry it up in a pan – just enough to warm it up – then slap it on some toast with a little A1 sauce. Yuummm….”
Cas’s hand paused with his fork halfway to his mouth and stared at Alfie, his head tilting in thought. “That does sound good. I think I’d like to try that.”
“Oh my god! You’re a heathen too! How did I marry someone like you?” Dean asked with an exaggerated gasp, staring at Cas in mock horror.
Cas rolled his eyes. “Because I’m the only one who puts up with you when you’re being this ridiculous.”
“But an adorable ridiculous, right?” Dean waggled his eyebrows at his husband.
“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.” Despite the dry tone, Cas was smiling slightly, and then Dean felt something touch his hand tentatively under the table. He curled his fingers around Cas’s and gave it a light squeeze, but then held his hand loosely, so Cas could pull away whenever he needed to.
Better wasn’t ‘everything is miraculously fixed’. Better was a step in the right direction.
This was a step in the right direction.
Watching Cas joking with Alfie and Benny… definitely the right direction.
filet mignon. on toast. with A1 sauce - specifically, reheated in the pan after having been cooked the night before - that was my dads signature special thing for us. it was the tastiest. i wish i knew how he cooked the filet mignon to begin with, or how long he tossed it in a pan for to reheat. god, i miss that.
of course, the reheat thing COULD have somethign to do with the fact that my parents (my mom at least) tended to undercook meat in the way that THEY liked but my stomach couldn't handle. it took me a long time (aka, growing up) before i figured out why my moms reheated pot roast or london broil ALWAYS was better then the first time around.
my stomach can't handle anything less than medium well.
yes, that means sushi is straight out.
Chapter 19: Board Games Aren't Just For Kids
This certainly wasn't the way Alfie had expected to spend the evening and though he was a bit skeptical at first, in the end, he was glad he'd given it a shot.
So... i debated this chapter too. i think in the grand scheme of things, it might not be strictly necessary, but i had wanted to continue showing them just... being together, being domestic, existing in spaces together that had no need for anything else, just enjoying each others company and becoming more and more comfortable with each other.
so i guess it's kind of a filler chapter? I"m not sure. i convinced myself it was necessary for the reasons i stated, but not sure others will agree.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Alfie had noticed Cas’s twitchiness almost as soon as they’d arrived. Dean was always free with his touches, once he knew it was safe to touch, but Cas was always a little more reserved.
But never quite this much.
But if anyone could understand, it was probably him, though their symptoms were a little different. And Dean and Benny too, for that matter, always having to deal with Cas and him when they had their little… episodes.
As the night went on, Alfie was relieved to see that Cas was relaxing. Dinner was an enjoyable affair, with laughter and good food, and then Dean was rising and grabbing plates and Alfie jumped up to help.
“Here, let me,” he said to Dean, half expecting Dean to object. Dean merely nodded though, and between the two of them, they had the plates cleared and the leftovers put away in a jiffy.
When Alfie and Dean returned to the table, they discovered that Benny had wiped it down and Cas had brought over a few boxes.
Alfie frowned as he sat back down beside Benny. “What are those?”
“Games,” Castiel said. “We have a lot and we just unpacked them today. Don’t know if either of you have played any of these but I picked a handful that would be good starters for a group this size if you’re interested in checking them out.”
“Board games?” Alfie said, trying to keep the disdain out of his voice. “Seriously?”
There were a couple of clunks and clinks as Dean set four glass bottles on the table, sliding a beer over to each of them before sitting down again next to Cas.
“Seriously. I mean, if you guys aren’t into games…” Dean trailed off.
“But isn’t that, like, a kid thing?” Alfie said.
“Well, sure, Chutes and Ladders, maybe. But not these games.” Dean tapped the table with his finger. “These games require a bit more thought and strategy.”
A blue and white box slid across the table and caught Alfie’s eye. He and Dean looked down at the same time.
He picked the box up for a closer look and read out the title. “Telestrations?”
Dean cleared his throat. “Okay, maybe not that one. That’s one of those party games. The more people the merrier… and uh… playing intoxicated is a fucking riot.”
“I call it ‘pictionary telephone’,” Cas said. “And it’s played for laughs, not for winning.”
“Well…” Alfie blew out a breath. Playing for laughs. Cas had been the one to select the games and had slid that particular one across the table. He could do this for Cas, if it helped make him feel better. “Okay, how do we play?”
Dean broke out into a grin and leaned forward to pluck the game out of Alfie’s hands. Within seconds, he had passed out four little books, 4 markers and tiny wiping rags and took out a box of cards and a plastic hourglass timer. Juggling a die in his hand while Cas passed out cards, Dean explained the game.
“Sounds easy enough,” Benny said when Dean finished. Alfie nodded along.
“All right then, let’s get started,” Dean said.
Dean rolled the die, and Alfie found the corresponding number on his card, writing his randomly chosen clue into the first page of his book. With a minute to draw, he found himself grateful that he’d started off with such an easy word. Drawing a cake upside down was simple and he found himself capping his pen before the minute was up. The timer emptied and Cas called it. Dean cursing as he flipped to the next blank page and handing it over to Cas.
“If you get this, I owe you a favor – anything you want,” Dean said, waggling his eyebrows at Cas. Cas rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, Alfie was pleased to note. “All right, so now we’ve all flipped to the next page and passed the book right? Okay, so Alfie, you have Benny’s book. You’re on page 2, so you can flip back to page 1 – but not page 0, okay? - and look at his drawing and then take as much time as you need to write your guess on page 2. When you’re done, flip it to page 3 and pass it to me.”
“Okay,” Alfie said dubiously. He carefully flipped the page so that no one at the table could see it and stared at the picture. It was a stick figure of… he wasn’t even sure. It was holding something. A stick? Wip? And it had a cap on? Maybe?
Glancing up, he saw everyone was waiting on him so he quickly scribbled his best guess down and passed it on. Benny handed him the next book.
“Okay, now this time, you’re gonna flip back to page 2 to see the guess, go back to page 3 and when we’re ready, we all get to try and draw that,” Dean explained.
Flipping back, Alfie read Benny’s guess and blinked. How in the world was he supposed to draw that? Soon enough, though, the books had passed and passed again until Alfie found himself with his original book back in his hands.
“Now the fun part is – see who kept the chain going right and who went ridiculously off the rails,” Cas said. “I’ll demonstrate.”
Holding his book out in front of him, Cas slowly flipped the pages, revealing his secret word, his drawing, Benny’s guess, Alfie’s drawing and finally, Dean’s guess. It brought mild laughs as they watched Cas’s milk shake become carbonated water and finally Old English polish.
“Blech! I’m not drinking that!” Dean joked.
“I should hope not,” Cas said with a smile. Laying down his book. “Who wants to go next?”
Dean held up his book. “Oh, me!” Alfie laughed at Dean’s excitement. He held his book out the same way Cas had, making sure everyone could see the pages. He revealed his secret word and stared at Cas. “I’m serious Cas, if you got this, anything you want, I’ll do it.”
“I was one letter off, does that count?” Cas asked. “I had no idea there was a tunnel under the English Channel.”
Dean flipped through the rest of the pages and laughed. “I don’t think you were the only one who didn’t know that.” He put his book down. “Okay, Alfie, you next.”
Eagerly, Alfie picked up his book and flipped through the pages the way Dean and Cas had and frowned with each subsequent page, sighing when he got to the end. “I guess it’s hard to screw up an upside-down cake,” he said morosely.
“Wanna bake one tomorrow?” Benny asked with a chuckle.
Alfie rolled his eyes and wiped down the book with the little rag. “You know I’m a terrible cook, Benny.”
“That’s all right, I still love ya, cher,” Benny said, leaning in for a kiss. Alfie’s eyes fluttered shut at the first touch of their lips, the pleasantly rough scratch of Benny’s beard against his face. Blushing when they finally separated, Alfie nudged at him.
“C’mon, let’s see yours.”
Cas leaned forward. “This I most definitely need to see, because I know that word isn’t in this copy of Telestrations, which means it can’t possibly be right.”
“Oh, he could have had a fill in the blank,” Dean protested.
Cas eyed him with a skeptical eyebrow. “They’ve never played this game before. Somehow I doubt he picked a word like that if he did.”
“Now y’all are making me worried,” Benny said, though he didn’t sound particularly worried as he opened up his book with the red binding on it. Alfie blinked. His book had a different color on it. He looked at all the books and realized Dean had passed out specific colors. His was green, Cas’s was blue and Alfie’s was white, for whatever reason.
“Milkman?” Dean asked incredulously. Cas flushed. Oh no, what had they done?
Benny flipped the page and chuckled. “Lion tamer, huh? Guess I can see that. I know I’m not the world’s best artist,” He conceded to Alfie, mollifying him at least a little for having made such an incorrect guess.
“Oh! Is that what that was supposed to be?” Cas said, looking at Dean as Benny flipped to the next page so they could all admire Dean’s drawing.
“Well, yeah,” Dean said slowly. “Why? What did you think –“
Benny flipped the last page and everyone stared at it for a moment while Cas hid his face in his hands.
Dean howled. “Oh my god, babe…” he gasped between his laughter. Alfie’s face was heating up and Benny was flipping back and forth between Dean’s drawing and Cas’s guess.
“Oh… oh my… domin – I can’t believe – “ Dean snickered again.
“Which is why I professed my confusion about the picture. We don’t have the adult version of this game so I knew it wasn’t likely and yet…” he gestured at the book, the page still showing Dean’s drawing.
“Well, to be honest, Dean, I think I woulda guessed dominatrix too, with a picture of a stick figure holding a whip,” Benny said after a full-blown laugh. Dean was still dying, face down on the table.
Alfie couldn’t hold back a chuckle either, but eventually Dean got himself back under control with occasional glances at Cas with a snicker or two.
“Dominatrix. Wow, Cas. Just wow.” He shook his head one more time and finally wiped down his book. Looking up at Alfie. “So, what did you think?”
“It’s fun,” Alfie admitted. “I guess… I never really played much in the way of games before. Not that I remember, anyway. Certainly not where I was raised. And then after I just… I thought…”
“It was a kids thing?” Cas asked gravely.
“It’s not a bad thing to have fun or to enjoy yourself, especially if it’s something that hurts no one. Why not play an innocent board game? Or read a ‘picture book’ if it brings you joy?” Cas said.
“Yeah, what he said,” Dean agreed with a firm nod. “Life is filled with enough responsibilities, and with too many awful and depressing things. We may have to grow up, but we don’t have to let go of everything that makes us happy. Why are movies based on comics okay, but reading the comics aren’t? Poker and Cribbage and Pool are all ‘acceptable games’ for adults, but nothing else. I’m not saying we go out and play a game created for a preschooler but who does it hurt to play games at all?”
“Huh, I never thought of it like that,” Alfie conceded.
“That said,” Cas said, catching his eye again. “You won’t like every game you’re introduced to and you don’t have to and you certainly don’t need to pretend to, not for our sakes.”
Blowing out a breath, his hair briefly lifting slightly away from his face, Alfie nodded. “Okay.” A hand touched his back and rubbed up and down, Alfie leaning into it.
“All right,” Dean said, his face brightening. “Another round or do you wanna switch games? Oh, and…” he bounced up off the bench and headed for the fridge. “More beers?”
Laughing, Alfie nodded and Dean returned shortly with 4 more bottles and passed them out.
Playing board games certainly wasn’t something Alfie had expected when he and Benny had come over to Cas and Dean’s house for the evening, but he found he didn’t regret it. Not everything was about sex. And as much as he loved sex, that was actually… good.
Not that sex was currently on the agenda anyway, but… their self-imposed ban would be coming to an end soon and… Alfie found he’d be okay even if they didn’t have sex as soon as it lifted.
Which was the whole damn point of the experiment and he was glad of the results.
As was usual, when he and Benny spent time with Dean and Cas, Alfie didn’t feel like as much of an awkward, reclusive outsider as he usually did, always so on edge and afraid. Here he was relaxed, just himself.
What had started at the festival had bloomed since then, had been blooming with all the skyping and texts and all. And it didn’t show any signs of stopping. His heart soared, and as he watched Cas reach over and shove at Dean with a small laugh – the first time Alfie had seen Cas touch anyone all night – he beamed.
The more and more time they spent together – in bed and out of it – the more and more convinced Alfie was that this was it, that this would work.
That it was working.
The rest of the night was spent in a delicious, glorious haze of beer, laughter and games. Telestrations gave way to Cartagena – “Grown up Candy Land,” Dean whispered conspiratorially before almost spilling his beer – which gave way to Nile, then… and then… and then….
Alfie lost track of all the games they’d tried, nearly overwhelmed with choice and the knowledge that this was just a fraction of their collection.
But he enjoyed every minute of it, of spending that time with his favorite people and doing things that made them laugh.
He was sad to see it end, but Benny still had the diner to open in the morning. He’d stopped drinking much earlier for that reason and now the four of them stood at the door, Alfie and Benny putting on their coats reluctantly.
Dean staggered forward and wrapped himself around Alfie and Benny at the same time, gripping tight. He pulled back, letting go and then reaching for both their faces at once and yanked them forward for a kiss, Benny first then Alfie, after a quick look at Alfie who parted his lips in anticipation.
The kiss was a sinful tease of might have beens.
Sadly, since the conversation on the third day, they hadn’t actually done much more than making out – as glorious as that was - because, well, all of them had felt they wanted this to be more than just sex.
Hence the get togethers for dinner, movies, games and whatever else they got up to.
But damn if Alfie wasn’t gonna just go back home and ride Benny hard cause Dean and Cas were gonna kill him with waiting. Even if he’d agreed to it, to the necessity of it. Even if he’d been the damn cause of the hiatus, even if he’d been enjoying the results…
He was still horny as fuck.
Dean ended the kiss and Alfie whimpered, chasing after him and his eyes flicking open only to find Cas taking Dean’s place. His own lips were wet and plush and Alfie just knew Cas had been kissing Benny while Dean had been busy kissing him.
And lord, he was upset that he’d missed that.
Cas’s kiss wasn’t as sloppy and open as Dean’s somewhat drunken kiss had been, but gentler, smaller pecks, his lips moving over Alfie’s.
Alfie whimpered again, his hand coming up to grab at Cas when Cas pulled away, but he let it drop before he did.
“Don’t worry, Alfie. I’ve been planning something special for all of us, for when we’re all ready…” Cas trailed off with that tantalizing knowledge that made Alfie’ stomach flip and his eyes widen as he bit his lip.
“For now, though, we should let you get going and I need to get this one to bed,” Cas said calmly, as if he hadn’t just dangled Heaven before them.
God, Alfie couldn’t wait.
Also. yes. if you've never played telestrations - it's a freaking riot! i *did* watch a milkman turn into a dominatrix (Long before the adult version of telestrations came out) and i've seen other doozies too. (I just wish i could *Remember* more of them)
and no, you do NOT have to be an artist to be good at this game. i have several friends who refuse to play at all or more than a single round because they aren't good at drawing but i'll tell you what - my stepmother can't draw for shit - but with some stick figures and clever thinking, she gets her point across REALLY damn well.
in the meantime. i *AM* an artist but being good at art doesn't mean you can come up with a design and execute it well in 1 minute or less.
in the end, you play for laughs. even the rules say don't bother scoring...
Chapter 20: Stargazing
The four of them go out on an all day date and continue to get closer.
mixed! cute couply things and some smut
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The past few weeks had been an interesting experiment – in all the best ways. Between going to work, fixing up the house, spending time with family and reconnecting with old friends, and also making time for the new ones in their lives, Castiel’s life had been extremely busy.
It was hard, and a little hectic, but he loved every second of it.
Every cuddle on the couch with Alfie, regardless of the home. Every meal that Benny cooked with generous portions and a lot of love. All the music and the games and the teasing and the kissing.
Everything had been going well and part of him wanted to worry that it had been going too well. And even after their self-imposed ban on sex between the two couples had ended, there’d been no rush to fall into bed.
Instead they all seemed content to just be with each other.
It was filling Castiel’s heart near to bursting.
Tonight had been no different in that regard, though it was in other ways. Tonight was their first ‘official’ date, in public, with obvious and clear affections between the four of them. There was no mistaking that they were all ‘together’. And it had gone… surprisingly well.
They’d started the day off at an honest to god zoo during the afternoon that everyone had enjoyed, despite Dean’s protestations to the contrary. The temperature had been just the right side of cool – warm enough that some sweaters and a light jacket had been good enough as they walked through the decent sized zoo. The Great Plains Zoo was much more than Castiel had expected and he’d been pleasantly surprised.
Alfie had been greatly taken by the snow leopards while Dean had insisted on getting a picture of Benny – much to Benny’s amusement and Alfie’s whole-hearted approval – in front of the bear cage where a bear was sleeping right up front.
Castiel himself had been entranced by the wolf exhibit and had to be dragged away, mollified only when Alfie had purchased him an adorable wolf plush on their way out of the zoo. He supposed he should be embarrassed, a grown man with a stuffed animal, but he was too happy to have the cute memento of their time at the zoo together to even care.
Not that Castiel was much for society’s views on what was acceptable and what wasn’t for adults to be into (no matter their gender) to begin with, so he refused to worry about the fact that he carried the plush wolf around for the rest of the day.
Afterwards, they’d followed the zoo with dinner and karaoke at the Roadhouse, with Ellen coming over to smack him and Dean over the head for not coming by sooner (and even stopping a few moments to trade some restaurant tips with Benny before she kindly let them get back to their date) and now the four of them were laid out on a blanket in the large backyard of Dean and Cas’s new place, stargazing.
Castiel felt giddy.
It had gotten cooler throughout the day, well into fall now as they were, and the temperature had dropped drastically enough from earlier that they should all have been cold and yet he was warm with everyone cuddled close. He could feel the hot line of each body along his. Alfie had twisted about to lay his head on Cas’s chest and he could hear Dean – on the other side of Benny – chuckling at something that Benny had said and Cas had missed.
He was content. This felt right. So, so right. Sometimes, it even felt like Benny and Alfie had always been there, had always been a part of them. Sometimes, Cas forgot they didn’t all already live together.
In fact, whenever Benny and Alfie went home for the night, it felt like a shock to his system.
Dean felt like that too, he knew.
Castiel’s hand slipped under Alfie’s jacket, idly running his hand up and down Alfie’s side and, not so incidentally, warming up his fingers as well. Alfie was humming and Benny’s deep, rumbling chuckle had joined Dean’s and Castiel just didn’t want the night to end.
They continued to watch the stars, occasionally silent, occasionally chatting, when Castiel remembered something he and Dean had wanted to bring up.
“Hey Alfie… Dean and I have been talking, and we were wondering if you and Benny would be okay with us coming out to the diner during your Thanksgiving festivities,” Castiel asked, his body going taut with tension despite his best efforts to stay relaxed, afraid it would make Alfie uneasy.
Alfie twisted about to look up at him, then twisted further to sit up and look down, depriving Castiel of Alfie’s warmth. The look on his face was confused and possibly hopeful, but not upset and Castiel relaxed minutely.
From the silence beside him, Benny and Dean’s attentions were both on Alfie and Castiel now and Castiel nearly startled when Benny took his hand and squeezed it, relaxing him a little further.
“Okay? Cas, it’d be more than okay – why wouldn’t it be? – but don’t you and Dean already have plans? You two have family here,” Alfie said.
“Though they’d all be just as welcome,” Benny said, his breath hot against Castiel’s ear.
“We weren’t sure,” Dean said, Castiel looking at him in time to see he’d rolled to his side and hooked his chin on Benny’s shoulder. “You’ll be busy, and with Alfie’s parents coming too, well, we didn’t want to disrupt any of that. Or add any extra stress.”
“And I figured we could help out, too. What you and Benny are doing is a worthy thing,” Castiel added. “We’re proud to know two such people as yourselves. To be welcomed into your lives as wholeheartedly as you have done.”
Alfie blushed above him, ducking his head a little.
“The feelings mutual, you know,” Benny said. The brush of his breath over Castiel’s ear made him shudder lightly and from the glint in Benny’s eyes, he caught it. A slow smile spread over Benny’s face as Castiel stared at him, growing wider when Castiel’s eyes dropped down to Benny’s lips, drawn by the motion of his mouth. Castiel licked his own and stuttered over a breath, swallowing a happy moan when Benny leaned forward the last little bit and kissed him.
Benny turned in Dean’s arms, let go of Castiel’s hand and dragged his hand across Castiel’s chest as they kissed and suddenly, Castiel had gone from content to absolutely horny, his dick hard and aching as he moaned into Benny’s mouth. One hand reached up to tug at Benny’s hair and Benny growled, the kiss turning deeper.
“Oh lord,” Alfie whispered, the sound just barely catching Castiel’s ears. He pulled away from Benny, somewhat dazed, and looked at Alfie, still sat beside them, but now palming his cock and biting his lip. Dean was there, behind him suddenly, wrapping his arms around Alfie who leaned back into Dean in such a boneless manner that Castiel almost whimpered.
He did whimper when Benny’s lips trailed across his jaw, to his neck, mouthing at his skin, biting lightly before licking and sucking at it.
The two of them had been so hard to resist over the past few weeks, but Castiel was glad they’d done it. They had all grown even closer during that time, but oh, he was ready for more and he was certain they all were, even though he hadn’t originally planned to take things any further tonight, suddenly it felt like the right moment.
The wind picked up just then, blowing a cold blast over the four men, autumn leaves dancing over their bodies and Benny pulled away with a boisterous laugh that was easily contagious.
“I think that’s a sign we might wanna take this inside,” he drawled. “If that’s where y’all want to be just now.”
“If you’re asking if we’re on the same page,” Dean said, standing up and brushing off his jeans before helping Alfie to his feet. “I think we are. We ever show you our bed?”
Benny and Castiel disentangled themselves – when had their legs done that? – and stood. The four men made their way into the house eagerly, letting themselves in by the side door and going through the mostly empty sunroom – Castiel was working on it but it would be a while before it was done – then the kitchen before eagerly going up the stairs.
Butterflies hit Castiel’s stomach. He’d had some ideas for their first time together in a while- whenever that wound up being - an actual plan he was sure they’d all be very into, but after that kiss with Benny… with a blush, he decided a few alterations would be just fine.
After kicking Jude out of the bedroom, Dean firmly closed the door behind them all with a sheepish grin. “What? I’m may be a slight exhibitionist from time to time, but the idea of her watching us just makes me uncomfortable.”
Alfie giggled and Benny rolled his eyes affectionately at Dean. “You’re adorable,” Benny drawled.
Dean threw him a cheeky grin, stepped in close and hovered his lips over Benny’s teasingly for a few seconds before whispering, “I know,” then stepping away and backing towards the bed. Castiel shook his head with a grin. Dean may be adorable, but he was also incorrigible.
“Damn, fellas,” Benny whistled as Castiel watched him and Alfie take their first good look at the bed as Dean dropped onto it with a bounce. “That thing’s massive.”
Dean choked. “Well…” he floundered, his face going red as he obviously thought about a million different ways to take that statement and short-circuited trying to pick one.
Stepping toward the bed, Alfie pushed down on the mattress, then turned and sat down on it beside Dean with a wiggle. “Nice,” Alfie said with a grin before holding a hand out towards Dean who quickly turned to face Alfie on the bed, took his hand and used it to pull himself in closer to kiss Alfie.
Castiel’s breath hitched at the sight and hitched again when Benny’s hands came around him from behind, one tickling across his stomach and making Castiel’s muscles twitch lightly, the other coming to rest over his chest, fingers splayed out.
God, Benny’s hands were big. And warm.
“You smell good,” Benny said, nuzzling into Castiel’s neck.
“Mmm… so do you,” Castiel answered with a hum, grinding back on Benny and letting out another groan when he felt Benny’s dick. Oh yes, definitely changing the plan up, just a little bit tonight. Castiel was feeling a sudden need to have Benny fuck him and it made him breathless with anticipation.
Before long, lost amidst deep kisses and roving hands, their clothes fell away till they were all gloriously naked and Benny and Castiel had joined Dean and Alfie at the bed. Dean caught his eye and pulled away from Alfie’s lips, asking,
“So, did you have any grand plans, or are we just winging it tonight?”
“I – uh, yeah,” Cas gasped as Benny nibbled at the lobe of his ear softly, pulling and tugging at it with wet lips. “Y-eah, I did have one.”
“Well, what did you have in mind,” Benny whispered into Castiel’s ear.
Trying to think straight as Benny’s lips and hands wandered, Castiel opened his eyes to look at Alfie and Dean. “Alfie, if you could get on the bed on your knees - just the side of the bed there, yes, and Dean –“
Before Castiel could continue, Dean had dropped to his knees on the floor, hands reaching out for Alfie’s ass and spreading his cheeks, while Dean’s tongue came out to lick over his lips, his eyes glued on Alfie. He glanced up at Castiel with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, yes, exactly. Open him up, however you choose and then, when he’s begging for it…” Castiel didn’t have to finish. Dean’s eyes brightened, roving over Alfie’s body which trembled in anticipation.
“And what about us?” Benny growled, his hand reaching for Castiel’s cock. Castiel gasped and arched into the touch, thrusting into Benny’s hand before tearing himself away with great effort. He climbed up on the bed, kissing Alfie sweetly before laying down on his back across the end of the bed, his legs just barely dangling off the large bed while Aflie’s dick hovered near his face.
He swallowed, staring up at it.
Not yet though.
He spread his legs, hands reaching down to help keep them spread and Benny growled appreciatively, Castiel melting at the sound, groaning as he watched Benny crawling eagerly onto the bed and diving right in. At the first breach of Benny’s tongue in his hole, Castiel couldn’t help the shudder of need that ran through his body. Especially when Benny’s big hands ran up Castiel’s thighs, kneading as they went, zings of pleasure rolling over his skin.
Something hit the bed beside them and Castiel turned his head, noticing the tube of lube.
“Benny,” he gasped out. Benny looked up, those stormy grey blue eyes staring straight into him, making another shiver play out over his body. “H-here.” He shoved the tube towards Benny, then returned his hand to his thigh, pulling as wide as he could go to expose himself completely to Benny.
Taking the lube with a gleam in his eye that continued to make Castiel breathless, Benny gave a final suck and a teasing lick to Castiel’s rim and pulled off, sitting up to deal with the lube.
It was a pretty sight that knelt before Cas: Benny’s big muscles, the hair that covered his body - thicker in some places than others – the thick leaking cock standing full and erect. Castiel licked his lips, watching as Benny went to work flipping open the lid and smearing his fingers generously before dropping it back to the bed.
A gasping mewl behind him had Castiel craning his head back to check on Dean and Alfie. Alfie was arched beautifully, his hands reaching backwards to brace himself on Dean’s head and shoulders, hips rocking slightly, his cock bouncing lightly and his face absolutely blissful.
Dean’s hands gripped Alfie’s thighs to hold him steady as Alfie made breathless little “ah, ah, yes!” sounds and Castiel could hear clearly the wet slide of Dean’s tongue, could imagine it thrusting into Alfie’s hole easily.
Reaching over his head, Castiel grasped at Alfie’s leg, caressing it lightly and squeezing suddenly on a startled, indrawn breath of his own, releasing it in a long, low moan when Benny’s finger ceased to circle his rim and finally breached his hole, pushing slowly inside of Castiel.
Benny’s fingers were thicker than Dean’s and he twisted them differently, but they were gentle, easing Castiel into it until he was writhing down on Benny’s fingers with a whine.
“Please, Benny,” Castiel reached down with both hands to urge benny’s mouth up and off of him, trying to drag him upwards.
Straightening on the bed, Benny grinned, making a wet, blazing trail with his lips along Castiel’s stomach, his chest, his nipples, his beard a delicious, light burn along the way, his fingers dancing in hot, rubbing circles, the full length of his body dragging teasingly along Castiel’s.
“Hey, angel,” Benny whispered, drawing a shudder out of Castiel. It was a new endearment, one he never would have thought he’d like but from Benny… somehow it meant everything, like when Dean called him babe.
Cas surged upward, kissing benny in a hot glide of their lips, deepening their kiss and he groaned when he tasted himself on benny’s tongue, arching into him, their cocks sliding wetly.
“Now, Benny,” Castiel whispered against his lips, pushing his hips up desperately. He caressed Benny’s back, scratched at his spine lightly, his hands coming to rest over the swell of benny’s ass. He gripped and pulled and groaned as they rocked together. “Now, now, now, pleaaase, Benny.” He would have blushed at how he was begging, how desperately needy he sounded, but he didn’t really care, unashamed to want as deeply as he did.
“All right, angel,” Benny said, biting just under his jaw. “I’ve got ya.” He sat upright, his hands sliding down to come to a rest at Castiel’s hips, pausing as he stared up at him with hooded eyes.
“Nnnggg, Deeaan,” Alfie whined, drawing Castiel’s attention briefly backwards to where Dean now stood behind Alfie, kissing his neck while Alfie’s hands reached over his head and around Dean’s neck. Castiel watched Dean’s hands roam over Alfie’s chest, down to his cock, down his thighs and back up again. Alfie’s mouth dropped open and Dean’s eyes closed.
“God, yes,” Alfie breathed out.
“Down here, Alfie,” Castiel managed, his breath stuttering at the first teasing touch of Benny’s cock to his hole. His eyes fluttered shut as the tip pressed in but he forced them back open to see Dean help Alfie down to his hands and knees. Alfie hovered over Castiel’s body and Castiel eagerly reached up to Alfie’s hips to nudge him further downwards, his lips capturing Alfie in his mouth.
He groaned when Alfie did the same.
Castiel’s hips twitched with the need to thrust up into Alfie’s wet heat, but thankfully Benny held him down as he pressed the thick head of his cock inside Castiel so painfully slowly, making him feel the entire drag of his cock as Castiel opened for him.
The entire drag of Benny’s naked cock.
God that felt good and he was so glad they’d gotten all their testing done and out of the way a while ago, letting them all have this pleasure without worry.
Alfie’s mouth slipped off of Castiel with a cry at the same time Benny bottomed out. Alfie rocked forward, his cock pushing down into Castiel’s mouth with each one of Dean’s thrusts. Castiel hummed around him and allowed his hips to move and meet Benny’s. He felt like he was burning up from the inside, heat pooling in his gut, his cock throbbing needily. Alfie breathed against Castiel’s inner legs, spreading open mouthed kisses along his open thighs, his hands skimming Castiel’s skin before clenching around his flesh as Dean pounded him –
“Harder,” Alfie begged. “Oh god, yeah… De-aaan…” he moaned, biting down inadvertently as he moved with Dean’s thrusts, fucking Castiel’s mouth with each gasping sound he made.
“Beautiful,” Dean murmured, a hand caressing Alfie’s flank, and down his leg, colliding with Castiel’s. Dean’s hand covered Castiel’s, pinning them in place as he fucked Alfie.
“How about you, Cas? Want me to… to pick it up?” Benny asked with a grunt.
Castiel reluctantly let go of Alfie’s dick to speak, watching Alfie’s cock bob back up tantalizingly over his mouth. “Yes,” he growled, punctuating the word by clenching down briefly on the throbbing heat inside him.
Benny groaned, his fingers grasping hard, and desperate at Castiel’s skin as he picked up the pace – faster, harder, lighting Castiel up with every hard thrust, pressing deliciously at his prostate nearly every time. Castiel lost himself in sensation, surrounded by Benny, Alfie and Dean, a cock gliding effortlessly into his ass, something warm encasing his dick, hands moving over his flesh.
Panting hard, Castiel rocked down into Benny’s thrusts, back up into Alfie’s mouth and when he stuttered, trying not to choke him, Alfie’s hands pulled at him, encouraging him to go deep.
It wasn’t long before Castiel arched up into Alfie’ mouth one last time and froze there as he came, seeing a different set of stars than he had earlier that night. Alfie swallowed all of it, sucking Castiel dry while Benny continued thrusting.
“God, feels so good,” Benny said, his drawl thick and his voice deep. He grunted, bowed over Castiel and Alfie and came, the hot spurt of it filling Castiel. Mere seconds later, Castiel’s chest was also covered in come, Alfie slumping bonelessly atop of Castiel and smearing it between them.
Castiel didn’t mind it, drifting happily as he pet along Alfie’s sweat soaked skin. He did startle as a tongue once more touched his hole, and he heard Dean moan as he licked Benny’s come out of Castiel’s ass. Alfie hummed lazily, stroking a hand over Castiel’s stomach. “Mmm… Bear, you too?”
This time Benny’s grunt came from the other side, from behind Alfie, and he knew Benny was doing the same to Alfie that Dean was doing to him. They were licking each other’s release out of their lovers’ asses, cleaning them up and absolutely relishing in it. Dean was playing with Castiel as he did, flicking his tongue in, then out, wiggling his fingers inside along with and Castiel moaned, his cock twitching.
Alfie gave it a lick before sucking on the oversensitive head briefly and letting go. He reached for Dean when Dean finished, the two of them trading wet kisses as Benny moved up on the bed beside them all, pulling Castiel up with him, their lips meeting. Cas could taste Dean on Benny’s tongue and he groaned, fisting his hands across Benny’s shoulders.
Soon enough, they lay tangled in each other’s arms, their legs sliding against each other before settling, hands lazily caressing flesh and eyes drooping sleepily. Castiel made an effort to get them all to move enough to get under the blankets – after first grabbing some wipes to clean up with and the bottles of water he kept by the bed - and then, with a yawn, he pillowed his head on Benny’s chest, Alfie cuddling him from behind and Dean covering Alfie’s smaller body, his arm laying across all of them.
They fell asleep like that, Castiel with a smile on his lips and the certainty that all was perfect right then, in that moment, no matter what else came to them in the future.
i dont know why but the smut is getting harder and harder to write....
no pun intended
Chapter 21: Something a Little Sturdier
A lazy morning and a small crash leads to an unplanned outing and unexpected meetings...
way more domesticity here
teeny tiny bit of smut
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The bed shifted and Dean rolled toward the disturbance, grasping after the body leaving the bed without even opening his eyes.
When his hands fell on nothing, Dean forced his eyes open to see Benny, gloriously naked, standing beside the bed and stretching out his shoulders and neck before rolling his arms behind his back, clasping one wrist inside the other and arching his back in a series of pops that nearly had Dean wincing in sympathy.
He also felt a keen sense of Déjà vu.
“Benny,” he drooled out, before sucking up his spit and trying again. “Dude, it’s your day off, come back to bed."
"Wish I could,” Benny grunted quietly, “but I’m hardwired to wake up early. I’ve already 'slept in'."
He finished his stretch and sat back down on the bed beside Dean and Dean hummed happily when Benny’s fingers carded through his short hair. “But don’t let me stop you from sleeping in yourself. I can entertain myself just fine till y’all wake up.”
Dean yawned and twisted on the bed till he’d wriggled out from under the blanket. “Nah, I’m fine. Wanna check on Jude anyway, after I so rudely kicked her out last night.”
“Uh huh,” Benny said, his brow raised in disbelief.
Dean stood, padding over to a dresser, feeling Benny’s eyes following him every step he took. He opened the top drawer, rummaging for a couple of pairs of boxers and turned to stare back at Benny.
“And what’s that supposed to mean, big guy?”
“It means you’re just a big ol’ softy,” Benny drawled seconds before the boxers Dean flung across the room smacked him right in the face. He spluttered and Dean chuckled lightly, pulling on the other pair he’d taken out and leaving the room.
He found Jude sleeping in the hall and Dean just barely managed not to step on her. She woke nearly instantly, meowing up at him. He bent down to pick her up and she rubbed at his face instantly.
“Who’s a little cutie?” Dean asked. “You hungry? Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Like I said,” Benny drawled from behind Dean. “A big ol’ softy.”
“Can it, Benny. I’m a cop. I got a reputation to uphold,” Dean said, making for the stairs with Benny trailing along behind him.
“Hate to break it to ya, Dean, but I’m pretty sure Jody and everybody else ‘round here already knows you’re just a pushover,” Benny teased.
When they reached the kitchen, Dean set Jude down on the floor and she scampered over to her food dish. He made sure it was topped off while Benny fiddled with the coffee machine and beelined for the cabinets with the mugs.
Yawning, Dean walked up behind Benny and slid his arms around his waist, pressing flat against his back and closing his eyes. Benny hummed and paused briefly to squeeze at Dean’s arms.
They stood that way as the coffee machine percolated away, the burbling as it brewed and the crunch of Jude eating the only sounds that broke the silence for a good few minutes. Dean sighed into Benny’s back and tightened his arms around him contentedly.
"You know," Dean said conversationally. "You're the first one Cas's been with in a while."
"Huh? Now that don’t make no sense. What exactly do you mean?" Benny asked, the confusion clear in his voice. "What about you - ?"
"I mean other than me,” Dean clarified with another yawn. “We've been with other couples, sure, but it's been a while since he’s bottomed."
Benny was quiet as he let that sink in. "Is there a reason for that?" he asked slowly. "Is it... part of his 'heebie jeebies'?"
"None that I'm aware of. I think it's more about trust, vulnerability. And that's why I'm saying something. Maybe for most folks, it doesn't really matter, but for Cas, it means something. He feels close to you, connected, safe. Considering what we're trying to build here, together, I thought..." Dean shrugged, pulling away as the coffee pot finished its work. "Maybe you should know."
"Thank you, Dean," Benny said gravely. "I do appreciate that.”
Benny poured the coffees out, stirring them, and handed Dean his before they retired to the comfort of the soft cushions of the couch. Dean reached out for the remote, turning the tv on low enough for background noise that would still let them chat as they wanted.
Dean leaned against Benny drowsily. Despite it only having been a few weeks since they’d moved here, the change in Dean’s schedule to something approaching regular office hours (unless there was an emergency, which hadn’t happened yet, knock on wood) had already had an impact on him. He was already used to waking up later in the day – something he knew Cas was very grateful for.
“How long do you think it’ll take before you get used to the later schedule?” Dean asked sleepily. Benny’s arm was slipped around behind him, his hand running idly up and down Dean’s arm.
“Hmm… now, I don’t rightly know. Been on it so long, I can’t imagine anything different. But Julian’s more than capable of opening in the morning and this Rich fella, I got a good feeling about him, if he sticks around. So, I go in later in the day and then I do the close out. But I’m just so used to waking for opening, when I do I just… lay awake in bed, try not to disturb Alfie,” Benny said. “Sorry I woke you.”
“Nah, it’s all right. But I may use you as a pillow in about 5 seconds if you don’t mind.”
Benny chuckled. “Sure, Dean. I don’t mind. Just make sure you put that coffee down first.”
“Brat,” Dean laughed. “I already finished it. Just been too lazy to get rid of the mug.”
“Y’know,” Benny said slowly. “Bobby once told me I should make the diner 24/7.”
“Yeah,” Dean said, twisting to lay down with his head on Benny’s legs and looking up at him, the empty mug still cradled in his hands over his chest. “You think that’s something you might do?”
“Hmm… If Rich sticks around and I can find a few folks who don’t mind working overnights, maybe,” Benny said. “It’d be a lot of work to get set up, though. Not sure it’s worth it just yet.”
“It’d be worth it,” Dean assured him. “This Rich sounds like a pistol. Did he really fill Julian’s coat with Swedish fish?”
“Mmhmm… I think we’re all just glad it wasn’t real fish,” Benny said. “Imagine the stink if they’d been there a while?”
He took Dean’s tipping mug and leaned over placing it on the floor next to his. When he leaned back up, he threaded fingers into Dean’s hair. Dean knew his hair wasn’t as short as Benny’s, or as crazy as Cas’s or even as long as Alfie’s, but there was still enough of it that Benny’s fingers felt good and Dean moaned, tilting his head into the touch.
Benny chuckled again, and Dean hummed in response, feeling light of heart and really good about where they all were at just now. Dean reached up, scraping his fingers along Benny’s jaw before getting a snug grip on his beard and urging him down for a kiss. Benny obliged willingly, and soon enough he was spread out on the couch next to Dean pressing lazy kisses into each other, their bodies sliding slowly against each other.
Dean moaned into Benny’s mouth, need throbbing between his legs. Benny’s hands moved slowly over Dean’s body, each touch like a brand, even through Dean’s boxers. Benny grasped Dean’s ass and pulled him close.
“Mm… eager?” Dean asked, nipping lightly at Benny’s lips.
“Just makin’ sure ya don’t fall off the couch, darlin’,” Benny said with a smirk.
“Ah – Ah!” Dean said grinding his dick along Benny’s thick cock with a light moan. “O-of course. Very altruistic of you.”
“I aim to please,” Benny said with a chuckle.
Dean reached between them, shoving at the bands of their boxers till their cocks could slide together with nothing to impede them. They let out a simultaneous moan, rocking together languidly, Dean gasping quietly into Benny’s mouth, his hand reaching for Benny’s hip.
The pleasure built up and up and up till it spilled over gently, coating their stomachs. Dean let out a low cry while Benny growled deep into Dean’s neck as they rocked through the aftershocks, bodies slowing, slowing, slowing till they stopped, clutching each other close.
Dean had no idea when it was he fell asleep, but he woke to Benny’s low rumble vibrating through his body and he yawned, blinking his eyes open.
“Sleeping beauty awakes,” Benny said cheerfully, looking down at Dean. They were still lying next to each other but Dean had rolled to his back and Benny was still on his side, pinned against the back of the couch, not that he looked very distressed about that as the look he sent Dean was fond.
“Morning. Again,” Dean said with a sheepish grin. “Sorry for falling asleep on ya.”
“No worries,” Benny drawled. “I may have gotten a few extra winks in there as well, thanks to you.”
“Oh yeah?” Dean smirked. A sound made him turn, and he saw Alfie emerge from the stairwell, rubbing at his eyes and yawning, looking all sorts of sleep rumpled in clothes that seemed all too big for him.
When Dean realized why, his breath caught, seeing Alfie in his clothes.
It was one of his things, though he hadn’t realized it extended beyond Cas till just that moment.
He wasn’t arguing though.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Dean called. Alfie turned, shuffling toward them and pausing when he reached them. He blinked, a slow smile spreading across his face, his gaze sliding up and down their bodies. What was he…? Dean followed his gaze and flushed, laughing. Oh, well… apparently either Benny hadn’t felt the need to fix their clothes, or he’d only just barely woken up before Dean had, because they were still quite exposed.
Alfie climbed on top of them and snuggled down, Dean grunting – not at the weight but at the shifting that caused elbows and knees to hit him awkwardly.
“I would have said two’s the limit for that old couch, but apparently, Alfie wanted to prove me wrong,” Cas said, sitting on the table beside the couch. He reached out, his fingertips lightly grazing along Dean’s arms before moving on to the others.
‘I’m sure we could make room for you too, angel,” Benny said. Dean looked at him incredulously.
“Actually, I think Cas might be right. This couch isn’t big enough for so many full-grown men. I’m amazed it’s – ‘
There was an ominous creak as Dean shifted under Alfie to adjust the other man’s elbow and they all froze.
“Alfie, why don’t you get up first?” Cas suggested.
“Er, sure,” Alfie said. He wriggled, trying to get his feet out and under him and the couch creaked again, making him panic, grabbing wildly at Dean, Benny and the back of the couch just before it gave way beneath them and the legs of the couch snapped. It tilted, all their body weight sliding with the it till it crashed and dumped them all on the floor in a breathless, tangled lump at Cas’s feet.
After a moment of stunned silence, the four of them broke into giddy laughter. When it finally calmed, Cas stood and helped untangle the three of them and get them on their feet.
“So… I’m guessing couch shopping just moved up the list of priorities?” Dean joked.
“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Alfie squeaked in horror, covering his mouth.
“Hey, no, not your fault. Cas and I knew we needed to replace the damn thing a while ago, we just hadn’t gotten around to it yet,” Dean said, taking Alfie by the shoulders and looking him in the eye.
“If you say so,” Alfie said dubiously, biting his lip.
“Trust me, we say so,” Cas said, yawning.
“Well, we can help, if you want,” Alfie suggested, hope shining in his eyes as he looked between Cas and Dean. Dean melted. How could they say no to such a look?
“Before we do anything,” Cas said, “Coffee. Shower. In that order.”
Dean snorted. “Sure thing, boss. How about some food to go along with that coffee?”
“I could be persuaded,” Cas yawned again. Benny laughed and clapped his hand on Cas as he passed him, heading for the kitchen. Dean, Cas and Alfie followed after, Dean stopping first to pick up the discarded mugs from earlier that Benny had thankfully placed far enough away from the couch that when it had collapsed and dumped them off of it, the mugs had remained untouched.
Blood on the floor and stitches in their skin was definitely not the way Dean wanted to christen the new house.
After a breakfast of pancakes accompanied by copious amounts of coffee, Dean eagerly showed them upstairs and to the master bathroom, spreading his arms wide.
“Ta da! Now this, my friends, is the true pride and joy of this house,” Dean grinned, ushering them inside while Cas rolled an eye at his dramatics.
Benny and Alfie gaped at the shower as Cas slid the door wide and fiddled with the knobs, both showerheads coming alive.
“Two?” Alfie stared in awe.
“The water pressure sounds wonderful,” Benny said. “I gotta admit, I’m a mite jealous of this shower.”
“It doesn’t just sound wonderful, it feels that way too,” Cas piped up, making a final adjustment before standing out of the way. “Try it.”
“Now, we do have two bathrooms, and two showers, though this one is obviously the better one for a bunch of reasons,” Dean pointed out as Benny and Alfie both stuck their hands under the spray. “Water pressure is one, the sheer size of it is another - this one’s actually big enough for all of us – so we could share this one or we could take advantage of both to take turns and get back out in a more… timely manner.”
“You sayin’ things’ll get steamy if we choose option one?” Benny drawled, his eyebrows rising high.
“I’m saying, we haven’t had a very good track record of not taking advantage of having a shower to ourselves,” Dean suggested. “Not that I mind…”
“As tempting as it is… perhaps we should…” Cas trailed off and Dean snickered as Alfie dropped the clothes he’d been wearing and climbed in, closing his eyes and leaning his head back into the hot water with a happy sigh.
“Uh… getting a little frisky or not, it’s gonna be hard to tear him outta here. Our shower’s one of the worst features of our place,” Benny said.
“Well then, I’m certainly not about to deprive him of this joy,” Dean said, turning resolutely to the shower, and dropping his own, sticky boxers and stepping into the water. Alfie’s eyes flicked open and he smiled at Dean when Dean soaped up a washcloth and held it up. Alfie nodded, a light blush – but that could be from the heat of the shower – spreading over his cheeks.
The door slid shut as Benny and Cas joined them and the four of them took turns washing each other down and trading kisses. Despite Dean’s words earlier, and the desire that always seemed to simmer between them, they kept the shower chaste – mostly.
Though true to Benny’s words, Alfie proved reluctant to leave the shower. Dean was already back in the bedroom and digging out more boxers for each of them when Alfie eventually joined them in the bedroom, padding in naked and toweling off his hair.
“That has to be the best shower ever,” he sighed, pulling the towel from his head after one last rub.
“Right?” Dean grinned at him. “Here, take these. And I think Cas is looking for something in the closet for you.”
“Thank you, Dean,” Alfie said, smiling softly as he took the boxers from Dean’s hands then leaning in for a kiss.
“No problem, sweetheart,” Dean said, enjoying the little blush blooming on Alfie’s face at the endearment, that couldn’t possibly be blamed on the heat of the shower this time. Dean wasn’t sure when he’d started calling Alfie sweetheart, but it felt right. It felt as right as calling Cas babe, and equally as natural.
He shook his head and turned back to the dresser. Within moments, everyone was dressed, Benny and Alfie wearing a combination of Cas and Dean’s clothing. Dean looked them up and down approvingly and gave them a wink. Cas’s jeans were the closest to Benny’s size and they were a little snug, while Alfie was wearing a pair of Dean’s jeans, belted, of course.
Dean found that the two of them wearing his and Cas’s clothes was hitting buttons he hadn’t fully realized he had.
They were half way to Cain’s Furniture Shop when it hit Dean.
Furniture shopping was a very domestic thing to do.
So was wearing each other’s clothes.
And that’s what it was – that’s what the buttons had been, he realized. It wasn’t a kinky, oh god, they’re wearing my clothes kind of thing, it was a comfortable, we share each other’s clothes because we’re so close, does it really matter any more kind of thing.
He glanced at Cas out of the corner of his eye as he drove, at Benny and Alfie in the rearview mirror and swallowed, wondering if any of the others had realized it yet, or what they thought about it.
Whatever they thought, Dean liked it.
How long did they have to wait before they decided they worked? How long before it was acceptable to ask if maybe Benny and Alfie wanted to move in with them? The two couples hadn’t even known each other quite 6 months yet. And for most of that time, they hadn’t even been in the same state. Were they moving too fast?
We’re picking out furniture together, Dean thought. How fast is too fast? And how much of that is really worry about others judging us for moving too fast?
That, he knew, was at least part of the equation. It shouldn’t bother him, but sometimes he could still hear John yelling in the back of his head. His fingers clenched on the wheel and he took in a slow, steadying breath. It didn’t matter what John would have thought or said. John hadn’t approved of his son liking guys at all, and there was no way Dean would have given up Cas when John asked way back when, just for the sake of appearances, and there was no way he’d let others judgement get in the way of his happiness now.
They parked at Cain’s – it wasn’t a chain store, but Dean knew the owner and knew the quality of Cain’s furniture. Bobby had more than one piece and he wasn’t the only one who swore by Cain’s work.
They spent some time going through the store, testing various couches and looking at different styles.
“Definitely gonna want something sturdier,” Benny noted. “Maybe something that doesn’t have legs?”
“You gentleman need any help?” Cain’s voice came from behind them, deep and even.
Alfie startled and squeaked, colliding with Dean as they turned to face Cain.
“Sorry about that, young man,” Cain smiled at Alfie first, then the rest of them, eyes falling on Dean. “Hello, Dean. It’s been a while.”
“Sure has, man,” Dean said pleasantly, clasping Cain’s hand. “Yeah, Cas and I moved to town a few weeks ago and uh, we’re gonna probably hit you up for furniture pieces here and there, but for now, we’re in desperate need of a new couch. Something, er… sturdy.” Dean blushed and tried to remind himself that the couch had been on its last legs already and hey, they hadn’t even been doing anything when it had taken it upon itself to collapse like that.
Cain took in the four of them knowingly and smirked, then looked back at Dean. “How sturdy are we talking?’
“Er…” Dean fumbled, blushing harder. “Dammit, Cain. You don’t really need me to spell it out, do you?”
He laughed. “No, but I’ve always enjoyed watching you squirm. Follow me, boys.”
Suddenly, Dean had the thought that he and Cas should probably have warned Benny and Alfie that they’d occasionally had a thing with the other man before coming here. It literally hadn’t occurred to him, since it had never mattered before. But what they were building was different. They weren’t just having some fun with Benny and Alfie with the understanding that they’d probably have fun elsewhere at times. This was something more, and judging by the stormy look on Benny’s face that he was trying his damndest to hide, and the look of hurt confusion on Alfie’s, they’d made a bit of a misstep there.
When everyone moved to follow Cain, Dean placed a hand on Benny’s arm and said, “Wait. I should have warned you – we should have warned you. Yes, we used to be with Cain. Not like the four of us are, okay? This is… it’s new and… we – or at least, I – forgot that, that this would be a thing. That we’d run into… I wouldn’t call them ex’s, exactly, but… well, we should have warned you. I’m sorry.”
Cas turned as Dean spoke and chagrin flickered over his face.
“Dean’s right. I know we’ve never made it a secret that we had relations outside of our marriage, and we can’t stop you from feeling jealous, but you and Alfie are different. What we want from you is different. Nobody else has ever made us feel the way you two do,” Cas said, stepping in closely. “I’m afraid there’s a few people around town we may run into who we have a past with, and are also friends and it may… take some time before everyone realizes we’re together, which is bound to make things a little awkward for a time.”
Benny shook his head. “Nah, don’t apologize for the past. Neither of us have any right to be upset about past partners. I can’t help being a little jealous, but I’ll get over it.”
Alfie swallowed and nodded. “Y-yeah. What Benny said.”
“You boys coming or what?” Cain called through the store.
“Yeah, yeah,” Dean called back, sliding an arm around Alfie’s shoulders and giving him a squeeze, relaxing when Alfie leaned into him. “Hold yer damn horses.”
so, i'm not sure i phrased it right - the conversation with dean and benny about cas. i debated leaving it in... ah, why am i suddenly so doubtful of myself i have no idea!! sorry
Chapter 22: Blast from the Past
Thanksgiving is finally here and with that comes a certain tradition at Benny's Diner, but it's not one their new loved ones will let them do alone...
PART ONE of something a few of you have been waiting for since... what was it, chapter 9? (goes off to check her notes) oh wow, i remembered it right chapter 9
sorry for the accidental fake out last chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Benny was well pleased with how everything was going.
It was a tradition since he’d started the diner, one that had been reinforced by the appearance of Alfie on his doorstep, to keep the place open in a slightly different capacity than normal on Thanksgiving Day.
For that day (and Christmas day) only, Benny forwent the regular menus, cooking up a storm of all the traditional foods (and perhaps a few untraditional ones on occasion) in the early mornings and opening slightly later in the day than normal. And then when he did, it was a free for all.
This year’s plan was for turkey and mashed potatoes. Gravy with and without mushrooms. Steamed vegetables, candied yams. Biscuits and cranberry sauce and stuffing, as well as potato soup and his signature chili, all lined up on the front counter, buffet style.
And that wasn’t even counting the desserts!
All of it was free of charge, for those without family to spend it with, for those doing without. Benny knew it wasn’t enough, doing something like this just once or twice a year, but it was what he could do, aside from the donations he often made to the local soup kitchens throughout the rest of the year and his other volunteer efforts. If, in addition to all that, he could add some semblance of normalcy, a bright spot in what was – for a good majority of them – a dreary, bleak life, then yes, he’d damn well do it.
As such, this tradition was well established and the local people respected it, never taking undo advantage of it. Those who had means but no family, Benny would find leaving money in the tip jar. Those who had no means, he pressed doggie bags on them and talked with them, finding out if they were the sorts of people who would accept help or not and then seeing if he could get them that help.
He didn’t win so many of those - Alfie would always be his greatest success and his greatest inspiration -but it was enough to keep trying. If he only helped one person, that was one more person on their way to a better life.
In fact, everyone who worked at the diner had been among the few he’d been able to help in a more lasting way. Julian who’d been some sort of hotshot before he’d gotten sick and burnt through his entire savings trying to keep up with the bills. He’d been lucky enough that he’d gotten better, but hadn’t been lucky enough to keep his job or his family throughout.
Andy used to live out of his van, which had been better than most of the people they’d attempted to help over the years, having regular shelter like that but he’d battled an addiction and couldn’t keep a job, having fallen into it after grieving the loss of his twin. Benny had felt that pang all too well and was glad he’d been able to convince Andy to go to rehab, promising to sponsor him throughout.
Claire had been abandoned and Alex had run away from an abusive family much like Alfie had, only they’d found each other on the streets, protected each other until Benny and Alfie had come along and helped them, gotten them real protection, a home, and a stable life.
There’d been others, over the years. Others that they’d helped. Some had worked at the diner and some hadn’t, but anything Benny or Alfie could do, they did. And he was damn glad that the new people in their lives - Dean and Cas, Alfie’s parents - had understood.
Now here they were.
Cas and Dean had arrived early – dragging Sam and Bobby right along with them - to help with the decorations when they didn’t have to, when they had their own annual celebrations to go to, and Benny couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture.
“What, did you think we wouldn’t spend our holiday with you two where we could?” Dean asked Benny when he thanked them – again – for coming by to help. “I get it. Honestly, I wish there were more people out there like you. Woulda made my childhood a little easier, for sure.”
The door jangled and Chuck and Hannah entered, bundled up tightly in thick coats and wool hats and long scarves, preceded by Alfie who’d gone out to let them in. Benny rose and took their coats.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Shurley. Let me put these in my office for you.’
“Chuck and Hannah, Benny, remember?” Chuck said. “I like your place, by the way. I’m sorry we haven’t been able to come by sooner.”
“It’s all right,” Alfie said. “We understand that you got sick. The flu is never fun. At least you’re both feeling better now, right? Honestly, you don’t even need to do anything. Just here, sit down here – let me introduce you to Dean and Cas -”
Alfie’s voice trailed off as Benny pushed through to the kitchen and out of hearing range, dropping the coats in his office before stepping back to check on Julian and Rich.
“How’re you two doing in here? Thanks again for volunteering for this.”
“You know I’m always here for this,” Julian said with a small smile.
“Don’t even thank me – what you’re doing is amazing boss. You know how many places I’ve worked at across this country?” Rich fixed him with a stare, the unusual seriousness of it making Benny squirm a little uncomfortably. “A lot. And this is the only place that did anything like this and I’m proud to be a part of it.”
“Proud enough to stick around?” Benny asked, checking on the turkeys he had in the ovens.
“Now, I wouldn’t go that far. There’s only one way I’d be sticking around here and I ain’t found it yet,” Rich said.
“You sure you’re even looking?” Julian quipped. “Way you tell it, you’re either here, that motel of yours or the bar.”
“Maybe if you told us what you’re looking for, we could help?” Benny suggested.
Rich stopped moving and his head bowed, hiding his face from Benny and his voice was quiet but gruff when he spoke.
“Afraid there’s really no way for you to do that. Sometimes I think…” he shook his head and looked up. His face was wiped clean of all expression except the forced, cheerful smile – and the eyes that looked as haunted now as they had the day they’d met. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not giving up, even if my chances by now are slim to none. But um… thanks for the offer. Like I said, you’re a good guy.”
“Well, if you’re sure,” Benny said. He turned away slowly after another quick look to make sure everything was under control. He wouldn’t press, years of trying to help those less fortunate had made sure Benny knew when not to press, even if he’d been the type to push to begin with (which he wasn’t) but he couldn’t help but be damn curious about Rich’s past – what he was looking for, what he was running from.
He could swear he’d seen that same look before in someone else’s eyes.
He pushed back out into the dining room proper, heading for the coffee pot. It had just finished and he smiled at his timing, pulling out mugs for everyone who’d come to help and lining them up on the counter.
“Coffee’s up, if anyone wants any,” he called out. A chorus of yes and hell yes echoed back through the diner and he counted them up, pouring out each cup. Chuck and Hannah came up and wrapped their hands around their steaming mugs with a happy sigh, not even sipping the hot liquid, just using it to warm themselves up.
Dean was busy across the diner hanging up a banner with his brother Sam while Cas and Alfie were nearby, hunched over a table, deep in discussion about… something. Claire and Alex and even Bobby – that had been a surprise when he’d finally made that connection – were draping festive paper table clothes over each table, Bobby seeming to have taken the two young women under his wing while they had apparently done just the same in return
Benny chuckled, gathering up the mugs for Cas and Alfie and depositing it on their table.
“There we go, fresh from the pot,” Benny said.
“You’re a lifesaver, my heart,” Castiel groaned, picking up the mug and breathing in.
Benny’s eyes went wide and his breath hitched with emotion, blushing furiously at the endearment Cas had given him. It was a first and Benny wasn’t sure how to react. Should he call attention to it? Should he sweep Cas off his feet in an enthusiastic kiss?
He opened his mouth but before he could say whatever it was he’d been about to say, the doors to the kitchens swung open and Rich’s voice floated through.
“Hey, Bossman, I got the first of our dishes ready to go - where’d you want… me to… put…”
When his voice trailed off, Benny turned to discover why, only to find Rich frozen in place, the doors slowly settling behind him, a platter full of food held in his hands. His eyes were wide in shock as Benny strode around the counter to his side in concern.
“Rich? What’s wrong?”
Rich remained silent, his mouth gaping, the ever-present lollipop drooping before it fell, hitting the ground unnoticed by Rich, and shattering into sticky pieces.
Nobody else seemed to notice his abrupt entrance and even more abrupt silence.
A very unusual silence.
Rich was never silent, even when Benny might wish he would be. If he wasn’t babbling a story, or joking, he was always singing. And the man had a good singing voice, Benny had to admit.
But right now, he was just standing stock still.
Staring at Castiel.
“Emmanuel?” Rich’s voice was hoarse, shaking, barely audible, but clear in the otherwise empty diner.
Clear enough for Cas to hear, evidently, because at the table just on the other side of the counter, Cas winced and went pale, nearly spilling his coffee all over the cheap paper decorations covering the table. The smile on his face fell off nearly instantly as he turned to face Rich fully, his own eyes wide, his face otherwise blank.
“Cas, are you okay?” Alfie asked, placing a hand on Cas’s arm.
“Castiel,” Rich breathed. It seemed equal parts relief and guilt flooding and mixing with the shock still on his face. Castiel stiffened as he stared silently at Benny’s cook.
The tray in Rich’s hands tipped, and Benny lunged forward to grab it before it hit the ground.
Rich stepped forward in a daze hesitantly, his hands shaking. “Castiel?”
“Gabriel?” Cas asked, his voice choked and rough, filled with disbelief. His hands were shaking too, Benny noticed, as they gripped the table littered with the decorations he’d been in the midst of putting up with Alfie.
“Holy shit, Cassie, it is you!” Rich – no, Gabriel? – stepped forward again, only to be halted by the counter still in his way. Benny set the tray down and he and Alfie stared between the two in confusion. As if Rich’s stepping forward had broken a spell, Castiel made a strangled sound, shrugged Alfie off and stumbled up out of his chair.
“I – I need air,” he gasped, before fleeing the diner.
Rich stared after him, despair marking his face and Benny could only look at Alfie helplessly before scanning the diner for wherever Dean had disappeared.
What did they do?
The rest of the diner went on uninterrupted in their tasks, only benny, Alfie, and Alfie’s parents witness to this strange meeting between Cas and Rich – or whatever his name was. then benny’s new cook shook himself and sprinted after Castiel.
An alarm went off in the kitchen and Julian shouted for Benny and he looked desperately between both sets of doors.
Alfie stood and joined him.
“Take care of your kitchen, Benny. There’s a lot of people counting on this. I’ll grab Dean. He knows Cas best, might know what’s going on, and I’ll keep tabs on things out here.”
“Thank you, cher,” Benny said. Julian shouted and benny hurried towards the doors, pushing them open and looking back at Alfie for a second. “When you find Dean, tell him if they need the office for a bit of privacy and get out of the cold, they can have it.”
“Yes, I will, of course. Now shoo, Benny,” Alfie urged him. With a tight chest and worried heart, Benny did as he was told and went off to rescue Julian from the herculean task of getting everything ready by himself.
just as y'all predicted.... i don't know *why* my clever name change didn't fool *any* of you
Chapter 23: Reconciliation
Castiel can't believe it - Gabriel, his brother, is standing right in front of him at long last.
here ya go folks! hope this second part lives up to everyone's expectations!
now for an update warning -
i have other parts written out ahead of this, but nothing that can be considered a finished chapter. just pieces here and there of what will be different chapters so things might slow down from here but i'm going to try and at least do once a week, if not keep to my 2x a week schedule. wish me luck?
Castiel slumped against the side of the diner, gasping for breath and shaking from the shock.
What the hell?
What the hell was going on? How was this possible? How long had Gabriel been here? And why the hell had Castiel run away when all he’d ever wanted was to find his brother?
He’d tried… after that place his parents had sent them. After he got out, and recovered. He’d tried his damndest to find his brother. To discover what had happened to him.
Tried again when he got back together with Dean. Being a cop, Dean would have better resources then Castiel would for finding a missing person, even one who might not want to be found. But it had all failed and Castiel had given up, believing Gabriel dead.
But now, confronted with the reality that Gabriel was very much alive, and living in the same town as Castiel for… for how long??
And obviously under a different name.
Like he hadn’t wanted to be found. Maybe he still wanted nothing to do with Castiel? After all, he’d left all those years ago to begin with and had never come back.
Castiel pressed a fist against his chest and shivered, realizing only then that he was shivering and shaking as much from cold as from the shock he’d just received. He’d rushed out of there so fast he hadn’t grabbed his jacket. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out…
“Fuck, you really look just like him, you know,” a voice said softly from beside him.
His breathing faltered and he made another sound, a wounded and forlorn one.
Shit. Castiel had been so out of it, so thrown for a loop, he hadn’t even registered the diner door opening and shutting.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…
Thankfully, Gabriel didn’t say another word while Castiel breathed. When his breathing finally calmed, and slowed, Castiel dared to open his eyes and turned his head – still against the wall – to face Gabriel. He blinked and had to look down.
“You’re shorter than I remember,” Castiel blurted.
Gabriel, who’d been looking at him with both concern and apprehension started to laugh, the sound of it verging on hysterical.
Well, at least they seemed on equal footing. Gabriel hadn’t expected to see Castiel here either. There… there was that, he supposed.
“God, I don’t even know where to start,” Gabriel said once he’d apparently gotten the laughter out of his system. He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Except that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I didn’t take you with me, I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner.”
Castiel dropped the hand still rubbing against his chest and stared, his eyes misting. “You came back?”
“Of course I did, bro. You were the best thing about our family, about my life there.” Gabriel was staring up at him and Cas could see the tears swimming in his eyes, that spilled down over his cheeks – at least he could until his vision grew blurry with what he knew had to be his own tears. “God, I’ve never forgiven myself for not taking you with me, especially when I’d heard what happened to you – the missing person’s report and, and I’m just, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t,” Castiel whispered, holding his hand up to stop him. “You can’t be blamed for that. All of that the blame? It falls on them, for being such shitty parents. If you’d taken me with you… who knows what might have happened to us. What trouble we could have gotten into. They might have charged you with kidnapping – I was very much a minor, Gabriel. There was nothing you could have done.”
“Tell me you’re okay? That, that you’re happy and safe now?” Gabe stared at him, his voice desperate.
“I am. I’m more than okay. I’m here with family, actually. I’m married – I’ve got a husband – “
“Good for you!” Gabe said enthusiastically.
Castiel chuckled. “But, that’s not all.” He eyed Gabriel. He’d bitten one bullet, now for the next. But maybe not yet. “But you… you’ve been working here, all this time? How are you even here?”
“Dumb fucking luck,” Gabriel said, wiping at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Had car trouble few weeks back, was running low on cash anyway, then I saw the ad. I travel all the time. Always kinda hoping I could do what the police couldn’t and… find you… you know? It was stupid but, I had to try, though I always knew that was a damn long shot.”
Something draped itself around his shoulders and Castiel startled, looking up to see Dean, tucking his own coat around Castiel gently.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Dean asked, looking warily at Gabriel and back at Castiel.
Castiel nodded. “I was just… shocked. I needed a moment to process. Dean… this is my brother.”
Dean blinked in surprise, but Castiel knew he remembered everything. “Seriously?” He shook his head. “Well, c’mon,” Dean coaxed. “It’s cold out here. Let’s take this little family reunion inside. Benny said whatever’s going on, you two could use his office. You’ll have privacy and stay warm. I’d rather you don’t get sick on me, okay, babe. As much as I like taking care of your ass, I don’t like the worry you being ill leaves me with.”
“Thank you, Dean. And thank Benny for me as well. He’s always so thoughtful,” Castiel said, curling into the warm coat thankfully, his shivering slowly subsiding.
Dean put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and steered him inside, tossing a look behind him and saying, “Come on, it’s obvious you two need to talk.”
Castiel hunched down beside Dean as they walked back inside, suddenly embarrassed for the scene he must have caused when he’d run out of the diner without a single explanation. Nobody made a big deal of it, though, and soon enough, Gabriel and Castiel were sitting in the cramped office staring at each other, neither knowing where to start.
The door opened again after a brief knock and Benny came in with two mugs.
“It’s cold out, don’t want either of you getting sick. Let us know if there’s anything we can help with,” he said, handing one to Castiel first, then Gabriel. “And Rich, don’t worry about the kitchen right now. Dean knows how to cook and he can take care of some of the smaller things while I check in on the bigger ones. Just… whatever it is…” Benny blew out a breath. “Just…”
He trailed off, shook his head and left them alone closing the door after them. Castiel took a warming sip of his coffee, freshly made, he noticed, and he hoped he hadn’t ruined any of the work he and Alfie had done with the last cup. He couldn’t quite remember if he’d spilled it or not.
But he supposed being so frazzled when faced suddenly with your long-lost brother would do that to you, right?
“So, uh, is Dean your husband?” Gabriel asked.
“Yes, though, we’re uh, actually the two of us are also in a relationship with another couple,” Castiel pushed out, taking the opening and eyeing Gabriel cautiously.
“Huh. Seriously? Man, mom and dad would have pitched a fucking fit – not just gay, but polyamorous too?” Gabriel chuckled. “Good for you, Cassie. Way to stick it to them. They sure as hell didn’t seem all that broken up about you being a missing persons. They didn’t deserve you. Hell, I’m a fuckup, and they didn’t deserve me, either.”
“I wasn’t a missing person,” Castiel said softly.
“What?” Gabriel’s head shot up sharply, causing a small breeze in the crowded space.
“I wasn’t… the police report was…” Castiel took a deep breath. “It was misleading. Falsified. To be a missing person, nobody knows where you are, right? Well our parents knew where I was the whole time and when Dean reported me missing, they lied to the police. I wasn’t a missing persons.”
“Oh god, Cassie,” Gabriel’s voice shook.
“I’m all right, Gabriel. I’m safe, I’m here and I don’t blame you,” Castiel said softly.
They were silent a long while, the coffee cooling in Castiel’s hands. It was the kind of silence no one knew what to say, were afraid of saying the wrong thing. It was awkward and Castiel wished with all his heart he knew where to start, how to reconnect with a brother he’d not seen in… god, what was it now? Over twenty years.
Gabriel soon proved to be the brother he remembered. Unable to take the silence, first he fidgeted, then he hummed, then finally he blurted, his words quick and careless, unchecked.
“I can’t believe it – you’ve been here, in town, this whole time? Ya know, I checked the phone book for every Castiel and Emmanuel that I could! Did you change your name?”
“No, well, I took Dean’s last name when we married, but that was the extant of it,” Castiel said, finishing the last of his now cold coffee and setting the mug on the desk, running his hands over his legs and back again. Technically, though he often forgot it since he never used it, Emmanuel was his middle name and while he’d never changed it, he had toyed with the idea that he should change it, to destroy another remnant of his father. But it had always felt like a little too much effort to go through to get rid of someone who was already gone. “We’re not listed in the phonebook because we just moved here. In fact, if you’re Benny’s newest hire, it looks like we arrived on the same day.”
Gabriel gave him an odd look but before Castiel could wonder what it meant, Gabriel spoke, revealing his thoughts. “Is the town that small that everyone knows everybody’s business, or are you and Benny close friends or something?”
“Or something.” Castiel reminded himself that this was okay. Gabriel might be Benny’s employee, but he was also Castiel’s brother. Add to that, the four of them had been going out on more and more public dates over the past few weeks, so there was no reason to hide the nature of his relationship – except for the fear that Gabriel would harbor some of the same prejudices their parents had, though it was unlikely. “Dean and I, Benny and Alfie, we’re a… a thing. They’re the other couple we’re with.”
“Wow…” Gabriel said, rocking back in his seat. “Color me impressed. You guys must have something pretty damn special going on. Benny about jumped down my throat once for daring to say Alfie was adorable.”
Castiel laughed a little. “Yes, it truly is something special and completely unexpected but most definitely not unwelcomed.”
“Our parents really would have flipped –“ Gabriel paused, visibly stealing himself, putting his own coffee mug aside. He leaned forward, clasping his hands in his lap and Castiel could see the white knuckles as he gripped his hands all too tight. Gabriel looked down at his hands and then up to meet Castiel’s eyes with his own honey gold. “Cassie… if you… what did they… what happened to you? What did they do?”
Castiel sighed and closed his eyes. “Nothing I want to really talk about. Our parents suspected there was something off about mine and Dean’s friendship for a long time, but as Dean was still in the closet because of his own father and the only person I cared for in that way was him, I’d given them no real grounds to do anything – until one summer break, we came back from college and Dean and I were dating.”
“Which didn’t go over very well, obviously,” Gabriel stated flatly.
“No, it did not. I was woken in the middle of the night on a fabricated excuse of an emergency after weeks of fighting with them. They shipped me off to a place they were certain would fix me. I was there a while and it was…. unpleasant to say the least. When I finally managed to get away, well, I suspect it was so easy because when our parents died, the money dried up and there was no longer an ‘incentive’ to keep me there.”
Gabriel was looking at him in horror now but Castiel closed his eyes against it. While he refused to go into detail, Gabriel had deserved an answer to his question.
“I was lucky enough to run into some of the kindest people I ever knew, who helped me get back on my feet again. And when I was, I returned home for closure – and found Dean.” Castiel smiled as he thought of his husband. “In some ways it was like I had never left – Dean and I had fallen back in with each other just as easily as we had when we were kids – and in other ways, it was the hardest thing I ever did. Our parents should be the people we trust most in the world – after they betrayed that trust, I… I couldn’t… it was so hard.”
A hand came to rest over his, squeezing lightly until he looked back up into Gabriel’s’ understanding eyes. No more words needed to be spoken then and suddenly, Castiel knew that – come what may, whatever rocky points or lows they might hit – they’d be brothers again in truth, the way Bobby and so many others had become his family over the years, even before he and Dean had started dating.
Family by choice, rather than blood; the bonds all the stronger for being forged in mutual care and respect.
There was another silence, this one way more comfortable than the last.
“You changed your name,” Castiel said suddenly, that fact only just now registering even though some part of himself had been aware of it from the second Gabriel had walked in from the kitchen.
Benny only had one new employee, and Gabriel hadn’t been the name he’d used.
“You changed your name,” Castiel repeated. “I looked for you, Gabe. I – “ he stopped and shook his head and looked down.
“You did?” Gabe’s voice was quiet, almost lost sounding. “I never thought… never thought you would, you know? Figured you’d be too mad at me for ditchin’ ya to care to look for me. Didn’t think it would matter if I did change it, which I only did to keep mom and dad from dragging me back home to try and make me toe their line.” Gabriel’s voice got really quiet and slightly choked, making Castiel strain to hear it, “I can’t believe you looked for me.”
Castiel let out a small huff. “I had my moments but, none of that matters anymore. You and I are here now, in one of the most unlikely coincidences ever - “ Though he was sure that Alfie’s reveal that summer might be the most unlikely thing he’d ever witnessed or been involved in – “And somehow, some way, we have a second chance and I don’t want to waste that, do you?”
“Fuck no!” Gabriel bit out. “I finally found ya, or you found me – or maybe it was we found each other – ah fuckit, who cares who found who? The point is, here you are, and here I am, and if you’re willing then I’m going nowhere.”
“I’m willing,” Castiel said.
Gabriel leaped up with a whoop and did a little dance in the cramped space of the office, making Castiel laugh at his antics. Then faster than Castiel could react, Gabriel flung himself into Castiel’s arms and held on tight. A wetness hit his shoulder, a sniffle sounded in his ear and he gently hugged Gabriel back. They held it for a quick moment, then Gabriel pulled away, wiping at his eyes and nose.
“I, uh, should probably get back to work,” he said reluctantly. “I mean, I don’t actually have to be here, but what these guys are doing is a good thing and I wanted to support them. And from the looks of it, you did too.”
“Yes,” Castiel agreed, standing just as there was a knock on the door. Wondering if it would be Dean, Benny or Alfie, Castiel called out, “It’s okay. You can come in.”
The door popped open to show Dean, concern on his face. “Wanted to check and make sure everything was okay or if you guys needed anything?”
“We’re good. About to come out, actually. Gabriel - wait,” Castiel stopped and blinked. Turning to Gabriel, “Which name would you prefer?”
“It’d be nice to be called Gabriel – or Gabe – again,” Gabriel mused. “I kinda missed that. Now that I don’t have to worry about our parents… well, it’d be silly to get another name change, yeah? Just to make it what it once was?”
“It’s not silly,” Castiel said. “And we’ll call you whatever you want, name change or not.”
“Thanks, Cassie,” Gabriel smiled at him warmly then trned to dean and held out his hand. ‘Nice to officially meet you, brother in law.”
“Huh, whaddya know… I didn’t even think of that.” He took Gabriel’s hand and while Castiel could see dean was wary of the sudden stranger in their midst, he was wiling to give Castiel’s brother a shot. “Welcome to the family.”
Chapter 24: Anxiety and Confessions
Alfie and Benny are - understandably - worried about Cas. They find out a little more than they bargained for when they finally get the chance to sit down with the other couple the next morning, though.
still having trouble with this damn keyboard. also, word froze on me tonight as i was looking it over - i added 770 new words but i'd only reached about 200 when it froze and shut itself down and i was so damn afraid i'd lost my changes. thank god i didn't. or that i hadn't actually gotten very far, right?
Alfie stared at the blinking cursor in his open word document without really seeing the taunting thing. A heavy weight dropped over his shoulders, shifting downwards until hands dangled over his chest and a kiss was gently placed on his neck with a hum.
“You been staring at that thing for over an hour – you okay, cher?” Benny asked.
With a groan, Alfie slammed the lid shut and let his head hit the laptop with a small, uncaring clunk.
“I can’t concentrate at all,” he complained. His voice was muffled but Benny seemed to understand him anyway. A hand rubbed down his back soothingly.
“Worried about Cas?” Benny asked shrewdly.
“Well, yeah,” Alfie said, sighing. “Aren’t you?”
Benny hummed again but didn’t say anything, but Alfie knew he was too.
He closed his eyes and took comfort in Benny, but the worry was still knotting his stomach. Other than that one strange thing, that moment when Richard – who had afterwards asked to be called Gabriel, the name that Cas had uttered in shock - and Cas had recognized each other and had eventually secluded themselves in Benny’s office, yesterday had gone as normal, even his parents falling into the rhythm of things much faster and easier than Alfie had expected. But Cas…
“We still don’t know what happened, exactly, and I know he said he was fine and he’d tell us later, but…” Alfie sighed, sitting up to lean his head back against Benny’s body, angling his neck to look at him.
“He wasn’t acting all that fine,” Benny agreed. “Cas is quiet but he was definitely quieter than normal.
“And very much not touching people as much as possible,” Alfie pointed out. He would know, since outside of a select few, he did the same on a regular basis and Cas, well, didn’t unless he had the heebie jeebies – as Dean called it. Well familiar with the signs, Alfie had noticed it very clearly and he was sure Benny had too – for the same reasons. And he hadn’t stopped touching people completely, not like those other times, but he’d definitely been less tactile with people – even his loved ones.
“Whatever happened unsettled him and Ric – I mean, Gabriel. They obviously knew each other and neither knew what to do about that.” Alfie paused. “Do you think they’re exes?”
Benny shuddered, the motion rocking Alfie. “Sure as hell hope not but… for what it’s worth, I don’t get that vibe from them.”
“What if… What if they knew each other from that place?” Alfie whispered, his eyes widening at the horror that swept through him. Even if Cas and Gabriel had been friends there, supported each other through whatever difficulties and horrors they’d had to live through, seeing the other again – it’d be a living reminder, and Alfie couldn’t imagine that as a good thing. Certainly not something that was comfortable. Hell, he didn’t want any reminders of the place he’d grown up, of how it had messed him up. God, he wished this wasn’t true, that this wasn’t how Gabriel – there, he’d remember the right name eventually - and Castiel knew each other, but it would certainly explain things.
“That would make a reunion a bit complicated,” Benny said slowly, obviously coming to the same conclusion.
“I just… shouldn’t we be there for him, bear? I know Dean asked us not to come by last night as planned, that Cas needed some alone time and, and I guess he’d know best and all but… but wouldn’t it be better for all of us to be there and help him? At least, on hand in case there was something we could do? Isn’t that what we’ve been working towards this whole time?” Alfie asked, tears pricking at his eyes. He abruptly stood, turning to face Benny head on and wrung his hands.
Benny hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t rightly know myself. Everyone deals with things differently. Or, maybe it’s just too soon.”
Alfie started pacing, his hands going up to grip his hair. “I just can’t take it, being here when we should be there.” He stopped, looking at Benny with dawning realization. “Is this what it’s like, dealing with me?”
“No, cher, don’t think like that,” Benny said, taking Alfie in his arms. “We all have our good days and bad days and we all cope in different ways. There’s no ‘dealing’ with you like you’re a weight against me or somethin’, okay? As I’m sure Dean doesn’t feel that way about Cas. It may not always be easy, but neither’s dealin’ with me, I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry, bear,” Alfie whispered, curling into Benny’s warmth, taking comfort in the strength of him and wishing he could be that for Cas.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Alfie,” Benny said, sighing. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that we support each other. You don’t feel like it’s a burden to be here for any of us, right? So how’s it more of a burden for us to be there for you?”
Alfie shrugged and burrowed into Benny, inhaling deeply. He knew Benny was right, but sometimes he just couldn’t help feeling that way. That, coupled with the worry he was already feeling over how Cas was doing, and the niggling doubt that Cas and Dean didn’t even want them around, was taking a toll and it hadn’t even been a full day.
A double ping sounded through the room, both of their phones going off for a text message and Benny pealed himself away to grab his, laying on the counter in the kitchen. Alfie’s was significantly closer, set next to the laptop, and while Benny was still walking towards his, Alfie picked his phone up and opened the message from Dean – sent to both of them, of course.
<< Sorry about last night. Come on over so we can fill you in.
Alfie read it aloud, even knowing Benny could just read it himself. “Fill us in? That doesn’t sound too bad,” he said, biting his lip and shooting a hopeful glance at Benny.
Benny rejoined him, his fingers moving over the phone and Alfie’s phone pinged again with a message from Benny to the group saying they were on their way.
It didn’t take long for the two of them to grab their things and leave, only needing shoes and coats and way too anxious to just linger around when they could finally be with Dean and Cas and hopefully help in some way.
Soon enough, they were knocking on Dean and Cas’s door, Alfie still such a bundle of nerves he thought he might throw up.
Cas opened the door, looking tired as fuck with dark circles under his eyes but he smiled lightly when he saw them, his eyes brightening at the sight of them and some of the tightness in Alfie’s chest eased off.
“Benny, Alfie, thank you for coming. I’m sorry about last night. Have you eaten?”
Alfie shrugged. “Some. Benny forced breakfast on me.”
“Well, Dean’s in the kitchen right now,” Cas said, the words trailing off as he backed away from the door and led them there for them to see Dean standing over a sizzling stove, bacon scented smoke lightly spreading around Dean.
“Only having breakfast now?” Benny asked, his eyebrow rising up.
“Nope. We’re having shitloads of bacon,” Dean called from the stove. “It’s the ultimate feel good, comfort food – at least according to the gospel of Cas.”
Alfie chuckled. “I can’t argue with that.”
“Let me help,” Benny said, already angling towards the stove.
Dean shook his head and waved a fork at him. “Nah, you two just sit down with Cas. Oh! Anyone want coffee? Or tea? Cas has already switched to tea for the morning.”
“I’ll take tea,” Alfie said, sliding into the breakfast nook beside Cas. He watched Benny hesitate before Dean fixed him with a look and then he, too, sat down as instructed. Hot water must have already been going because minutes later, Dean had brought over coffees for him and Benny, tea for Cas and Alfie, then returned with a heaping plateful of mouthwatering bacon before sitting next to Benny.
None of them bothered with plates, just grabbing bacon from the communal pile, occasionally wiping their fingers on their napkins.
Dean was reaching for yet another piece of bacon when Benny’s hand shot out, grabbing Dean’s arm with a frown, pushing up the long-sleeved Henley he wore. “What the hell - ? Dean, what happened?”
Dean blinked at him confusedly for a second, then followed Benny’s gaze down to his arm. Confused, so did Alfie. Alfie took in a sharp breath at the sight of red indents around Dean’s wrist, and… and going up his arms, though they weren’t as significant.
“Oh – ooooh! Ah…,” he blushed, his other hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly. “Uh, we’ll explain that later, all right? But it’s nothin’ bad, I promise. But um… yeah, there’s things we wanted to tell you and Cas’s thing comes first and will uh… naturally flow back to this, okay? I promise, we’re not deliberately keeping anything from you.”
Alfie could see Benny’s reluctance to let it go, but he respected Dean’s wishes. Despite that, Cas didn’t start talking right away, and Alfie could see he was working himself up to it, Dean allowing Cas to control the conversation, though he must already know what was going on.
Instead, they worked their way through the mound of bacon and were on their second mugs before Cas finally broached the topic that was hanging heavy over the room.
“Again, I’m sorry about last night. I needed some… some time to process some really unexpected news. Your employee, Richard? You may have heard me call him Gabriel – well, he’s my brother. I haven’t seen him since… “ Cas sighed, toying with a last piece of bacon. “- since I was a child. He’d run away which, honestly, in retrospect, I wish I had done that as well once I was old enough. But as harsh as my parents were, I always fared better than Gabriel had under their roof. I was quiet, well behaved, kept my… preferences to myself. Gabriel, though, he was… he was loud, never serious, larger than life and never could do anything right in their eyes. It was hell for him there.”
Alfie’s eyes went wide. “This summer when… when you were giving me advice about my parents – “
Castiel nodded. “Yes, I was speaking from experience. I never knew what happened to him after he left, I only knew he never came back. I worried about if he was okay, if he’d found peace, people who loved him for who he was, if he was still alive – but I knew nothing, and it ate away at me. I did try to find Gabriel. More than once. Turns out, he’s tried to find me too. When you were given the opportunity to find out about your family, all I could think of was how I wished I knew what happened to Gabriel – good or bad.”
“This means you probably understand what I’m feeling right now better than anyone I know and… I’m both elated and scared that this is happening, but I’m glad it is, I don’t regret it. From our brief conversation, I find that I have as many high hopes for a future relationship between myself and my long-lost brother as you have for Hannah and Chuck – who, by the way, I’m very sorry I was so distracted with my own problems that I didn’t properly say – “
“No, Cas, it’s okay,” Alfie murmured. “It is more than okay.”
“Yeah, angel,” Benny drawled. “We get it. That’s quite a shock to the system, no matter how good it may turn out to be.”
“I know, but still, I should have told you, your parents – they were kind, amusing, generous… so far, they seem like genuinely good people and I’m very happy for you, and to have met them,” Cas said, reaching over to Alfie, Castiel gently grabbed his hand, turning to face him more fully on the seat. “And - I should never have shut you out – either of you,” he said, looking at Benny, then back at Alfie.
Alfie swallowed, squeezing Cas’s hands reassuringly, not sure he should interrupt again. He should probably just let Cas just, let it all out, right?
“I’m not used to… to this, to us. I didn’t consider how you would feel, or how much things have changed already, and I regretted almost instantly that decision. I’m sorry,” Cas said earnestly, “Please forgive us – me – for not letting you be a part of this from the start. I’m sorry - at first I didn’t say anything – though I did intend to, of course – because I was still reeling from this surprise and not thinking quite straight but also because the two of you had worked so hard to get ready for yesterday, and what you were doing was so important – I just didn’t want to disrupt it any further than we already had.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, not even the littlest bit,” Alfie said softly, Benny nodding along.
“That’s what I said,’ dean said. “But Cas can be stubborn.’
“As if you aren’t?” Cas said, raising a brow. The four of them laughed, easing the tension slightly before he sighed. “What you two were doing yesterday was important – both to you and everyone who came by. I just didn’t want to ruin all that hard work, all the good you could do – did do!”
“I dunno, Cas,” Benny pointed out. “You were there too, despite your usual plans, your family. I’d say it’s just as important to you, but even still you could have said. it would have been all right.”
“I appreciate that. And next time – though I, of course, dearly hope there won’t be a next time, and at least I already know I have no further family members that will be popping out of the woodwork – I will keep that in mind. But that’s what I was thinking yesterday. That’s what was running through my mind: make it through the day, don’t put a damper or a strain on things and then… deal with it after.”
“Normally, dealing with it means some alone time to process,” Dean said. “And occasionally, if that doesn’t work, we resort to other things. Which brings us to the other topic of discussion,’’ Dean said nervously, rubbing at his wrist and drawing both Benny and Alfie’s attention to them again.
Alfie swallowed again, memories rising. It looked like rope burn, but why – how - ? His fingers tightened on Cas’s as a breath caught in his throat.
Dean was still talking.
“I’m sure you can see Cas didn’t sleep all that well last night. So this morning…” Dean looked at Castiel with a raised, questioning brow.
“What Dean means to say, is that we sometimes partake in a Dom/sub relationship.”
“You must have noticed by now, that often times it’s Cas who calls the shots in bed. And it’s… he’s not actually domming you. I mean, a lot of people do stuff like that without even realizing it’s a thing, and he would never take it any further without a proper discussion about it all,” Dean said. “but it’s a… I guess you could say a hint of what we do. Cas likes to take charge and I like to let him. That’s not something that’s for everyone, and if you’re worried about us forcing that on you, just know that we never would.”
“Why don’t you tell us more about it so we can decide that for ourselves?” Benny drawled.
“That’s a wise decision,” Castiel said with an approving nod. “I’ve been very careful not to step over the line, so as not to put you in a place you wouldn’t want to be. Not unless everyone is aware of what’s going on. We’ve as yet had no discussion of this, about limits and safe words. A little bit of direction is one thing, suggestions you are always free to follow or not as you see fit, but going further than that without an in-depth discussion....”
“I don’t mind ya tellin’ us what to do, and I don’t think Alfie has either, if that makes a difference,” Benny noted.
“But what about the marks on Dean’s arms?” Alfie squeaked out, his eyes wide. “Do you… are you…” he didn’t know how to ask the question.
Both Dean and Cas shook their heads. “No, it’s not like that, what you’re thinking. It’s… It’s not a big part of our sex life. We’re neither of us into pain, so you don’t need to worry about a… a sex dungeon or whatever you’re imagining right now.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s not something we want, isn’t what we need.” Castiel interrupted.
“But…” Alfie floundered, gesturing at Dean again.
Dean flushed. “Uh, so, it’s Shibari – or, well, you might never have heard of that. Basically, bondage.”
“So, handcuffs?” Benny asked.
“At first, yeah. A sort of testing of the waters, you could say,” Dean admitted with a shrug. “Kinda had them on hand, so it was only natural to start there. Not even sure why we did it the first time but… it worked, it felt… it’s hard to describe, but it felt liberating. Then Castiel looked some things up online, did a lot of diligent research - because lord knows, the last thing he wanted was to hurt me - got himself a mentor and we branched out into ropes and fancy ties and shit.’’
“But why do it at all?” Alfie asked.
“It’s, a little hard to explain. But it helps us to deal with things, gets us in certain headspaces. In my case,” Dean said, “I like that Cas is taking care of me, that I’m not making decisions, that I get to relax. My job, I gotta be on top of things at all times – gotta make hard choices, watch my back, always be on alert. Maybe not so much here, but it’s still part of my job. Also… while I love to take care of other people, doing this…” Dean trailed off, biting at his lip.
“It allows Dean to let others take care of him, which is something we’ve been working on for a while and has been an issue for a long time, having been – let’s just say, his family life was, though different, as fraught with bad parenting as mine. And even when he does this, when he allows me to take care of him, he’s still helping me,” Castiel said. “So he gets to do both at the same time.”
“What do you get out of it?” Benny leaned forward to ask, the curiosity plain on his face. Alfie was still yet unsure how to feel, his head whirling.
“Control when everything is spinning out of control. Order where there wasn’t. Being able to take care of Dean, be useful, show how much I care for him.”
“Show how much you care… by… by tying him up?” Alfie’s voice raised on the last words. He was so confused.
“It may be a bit unconventional, but it works,” Castiel said stiffly, withdrawing from Alfie and Alfie almost flinched, because that was his fault, but he just… just didn’t understand. “And what works for some people doesn’t work for others or even for the same reasons.”
“Alfie,” Dean said gently, reaching across the table to take one of Alfie’s hands in his. “I promise you, Cas does nothing I don’t want, and he isn’t hurting me. The marks on my wrists? They’re kinda my own fault, actually. Cas is very gentle with what he does, very careful, but I can’t help testing the ties sometimes, just enough to leave a little bit of a mark because, I like seeing it even after we’re done. It’s… comforting somehow, like there’s a piece of him that I get to carry with me throughout the day. Cas would – could – never hurt me, even if I did want that. It’s not in him. You know that, right?”
“Y-yeah, I know that,” Alfie said softly, with a nod. “I’m sorry. I don’t…” he looked over at Cas with wide eyes, and a desperate uncertainty.
Cas’s face softened. “We – I – understand, Alfie, trust me. When we first started this, we didn’t understand how it could help either. But it does. And as Dean said, we’re not going to force any of this on you or Benny, but if it’s something you’re interested in learning more about, we can absolutely demonstrate for you. And if it isn’t, it doesn’t have to be part of what’s between us.”
“And you don’t need to worry about… about how this will affect our relationship,” Dean assured them both. “It’s not a deal breaker for us if you’re not interested in that part of our lives. Remember what we talked about this summer? How sometimes, we can’t give our partners what they need – whatever it is, or for whatever reason. We all bring something different to the table, even if we’re still learning what those things are, and it’s that diversity that gives us balance.”
Alfie nodded, biting at his lip. “I just need to think about this a little, I think. I’m not sure what to feel about this.”
“That’s okay,” Cas said. “It’s important to be honest and open about this. If you want to learn more, Dean and I can demonstrate or send you some reliable links to check out. And if it’s not your thing, then it’s not your thing. It won’t stop us from loving you.”
A breath caught in his throat and Alfie stared up at Cas, everything before him wavering as wetness gathered in his eyes. “Love?’ he asked so softly, he was amazed anyone could hear him.
“Maybe it’s too soon, but yes,” Cas said just as softly, reaching out to delicately touch Alfie’s face, wiping away the tears. “I very much do, both of you.” He looked back at Benny. “I don’t know how the two of you got under our skin so quickly, so easily, but I feel like you’ve always been there and I don’t want you to leave.”
“Same goes for me,” Dean said, clearing his throat and blushing profusely. “And we get it if you don’t feel the same yet. Again, we aren’t trying to push you. But we want this to work and we’re being as honest as we can about, well, about everything.”
“Thank god,” Benny said, his face cracking into a beaming smile that made Alfie’s insides churn pleasantly. “Cause Alfie and I feel the same.”
Alfie nodded vigorously, closing his eyes briefly before leaning into Cas’s hand and reaching up to cover it with his own. “Whole heartedly, even if there’s still bits we don’t get. We’re learning them as we go, right?”
“Absolutely,” Cas said, his whole body relaxing, nearly slumping in his seat as his thumbs brushed over Alfie’s cheeks. He smiled, bumping his head lightly against Alfie, then turning to bestow the same smile to Dean and benny, reaching his free hand across the table, Alfie watching as Dean and Benny clasped it in theirs.
Maybe he didn’t understand the bondage thing but he’d keep an open mind. Dean was right. Cas would never hurt Dean, just as he was sure Cas would never hurt him or Benny either.
He just knew.
Chapter 25: Making a Few Plans...
Time is moving faster than Dean expected and it's nearly Christmas before he knows it...
sorry - i warned y'all things might be going a little slower. caught up to all the completely ready chapters, working overtime at work, a troublesome keyboard (i have a broken shift key that makes fast typing hard... and i'm afraid i'm going to miss fixing the issues it causes too) have a chapter or 2 that will be particularly harder to write and will require a beta before posting... but i'm gonna do my best to do at least once or 2x a week. i think we're getting close to the end, but with the way things get broken up, i'm never entirely sure, lol
thank you feathers-and-cigarettes for checking this over for me today
Somehow, one way or the other, the holiday season sped past them and it was a week before Christmas before they knew it.
Dean was curled up on the new couch, a tangled – yet somehow comfortable - mess of limbs of all four of them cuddled together, Dean happily dozing in and out, Die Hard playing on the TV. Next to the TV was a giant evergreen covered in lights. They sparkled and twinkled as they flicked from one setting to the next, reflecting off the tinsel and a million different haphazardly placed ornaments.
Since they actually had a fireplace this year, Dean had jokingly (but eagerly, once he saw Alfie’s enthusiasm) gotten stockings for all four of them and hung them off the mantle. To either side of the fireplace were the stockings for the rest of their family – including Alfie’s parents.
Because Christmas was going to be different this year.
For one, for the first time in years, he’d be working on Christmas, being the low man on the totem pole. But also, for Benny and Alfie, Christmas Day would be spent the same way as Thanksgiving – and Cas, Bobby and Sam all planned to head out and help at the diner. Hannah and Chuck, and Gabriel, of course, would be there too.
Everybody but Dean.
Not that Dean begrudged them any of that, but he wanted to have a Christmas with his family, all of them, not a holiday caught piecemeal but altogether – and he wanted to share it with Benny and Alfie.
Luckily, Cas had more than agreed.
So, with some careful planning and a teensy bit of begging Jody, Dean had managed to arrange for several days off during the week leading up to Christmas so they could have their own celebrations.
Tonight had been the first.
They started lowkey, just the four of them, figuring it was a good way to officially kick everything off.
They’d gone out that morning in Benny’s truck – no way did Dean want to scratch up the Impala – and gone out to find the perfect Christmas tree, which with four people, had turned out to be harder than they’d thought. Afterwards, they’d come back and pooled their decorations together and spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon putting the tree up and decorating it with frequent breaks for… other things.
Okay, well into the evening as well, thanks to all those breaks, some of which were even for food.
Dean smirked as a hand – whose hand was unimportant – slid up around his waist and slipped under his shirt. It didn’t grope or do anything untoward – they’d done all that earlier in the day, a few times – but the warmth of it felt good, the thumb that rubbed over his skin had him humming and burrowing into the other three.
The air still smelled like several kinds of pie and cookies, the remnants of their Chinese take-out were spread over the little table in front of them, but Dean was – for a wonder – stuffed full.
Tomorrow would be the family party. What time they didn’t spend baking, tree decorating or just having glorious, glorious sex had been spent playing with the kitten and putting up the rest of the Christmas decorations.
They’d cleaned up both the spare rooms – one for Chuck and Hannah to spend the night so they didn’t have to travel as far, the other for Gabriel because Cas didn’t want his brother to spend the holiday in the motel he’d been staying at.
Lips caressed his temple and Dean hummed again, squirming about to blindly meet the pair of lips.
“This was a wonderful day,” Alfie said softly from his other side.
“And we’ve got more planned,” Dean said, chuckling.
“We’ve got tomorrow's party, then we’re having our own Christmas morning the day after – what else did you have in mind?” Benny asked.
“Not as much as you fear,” Cas reassured. “Though Dean is a hopeless romantic when he can get away with it, despite all his protests. However, I have been sworn to secrecy.”
Alfie whined. “But… I wanna know!”
“Oh my god, Alfie,” Dean laughed, opening his eyes to grin over at Alfie. “You had to have been the kind of kid that shook all his presents to see if he could figure them out ahead of time.”
Alfie sighed and shook his head, his hair flopping into his face. “Naomi didn’t really approve of things like that.”
Dean jerked upright.
“Are you saying you didn’t get any gifts?” Alfie shook his head as Dean stared in horror. “What about a tree/ Christmas dinner? Pie? Santa?” With each question, Alfie shook his head and Dean’s eyes widened.
“I can’t remember celebrating a single Christmas – though I must have before… before – until after I came out here. It was such a… a shock, to get gifts, for people to want to give me gifts. And all the beautiful decorations – I think Christmas is my favorite holiday. No matter it’s origins, it feels like… it feels like wonder. ”
Dean stared at Alfie, feeling the words tug at his heart and he smiled dopily before leaning in for a kiss. “ You’re a wonder, Alfie. God, how’d we deserve you?”
Alfie blushed and ducked his head until Dean reached out to tip his chin back up and resume their leisurely kiss.
“Well, I’m glad you had Benny, then, and all the others here who’ve helped you along the way, become your friends and family,” Cas said.
Benny rubbed at Alfie’s arms but he looked approvingly at Dean and Cas. “Couldn’t help but give Alfie anything he wanted, but he hated a big production being spent on him. Took us a while to turn him into the glutton he is today.”
“Bear!” Alfie said, blushing again. Dean chuckled.
“It’s okay sweetheart. You’re allowed to look forward to getting things, allowed to be excited for Christmas. I think it’s… it’s just so pure and sweet,” Dean said.
“Me? Pure?” Alfie asked, eyes going round in horror.
“A different connotation to the word,” Cas said while Benny laughed uproariously. “But even there, your unabashed enjoyment of anything we’ve done together has been… it’s a purity all its own.”
Alfie bit his lip.
"What is it, Alfie?" Cas asked gently.
"Am I still 'pure' if… if I told you I was thinking about what you and Dean do and how... I'm... I find myself interested?"
"You've looked through everything I sent you? Thought about everything we’ve talked about?”
Alfie nodded, blushing again and Dean twisted about, gripping for his hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze.
"Y-yeah, umm... It's..."
"Don't be embarrassed, Alfie," Cas offered.
Alfie shrugged and looked down, his eyes closing briefly as Benny stroked fingers through his hair.
"I went through all the thing you sent us as well, and we’ve also discussed it amongst ourselves. I'm curious but I gotta admit, I don't feel any sorta pull towards it all, but depending on what all you get into, I'd still be up for it. And regardless, even if I don’t, if all the people in my life are going to be into all that BDSM stuff, I wanna know as much as I can about it. I saw the articles about drop, and I definitely want to make sure I can help any of you out with that, 'case of any emergency," Benny cut in.
His words seemed to make Alfie braver as he vigorously nodded. "I think I'm ready for that demonstration you promised."
A wide smile bloomed over Cas's face. "We can arrange that."
“How soon?” Alfie asked eagerly.
Cas and Dean exchanged looks, a silent conversation. He and Cas had already discussed what a demonstration would pertain, and the variations thereof that Dean would be okay with if Alfie or Benny (or both, even) decided to join in. Though of course, for a first time, Cas and Dean had agreed that the participation would be minuscule, to ease them into it.
With all that in mind, technically, they were ready to go tonight , but it all depended on Alfie and Benny and their comfort levels.
“Well, that all depends on you,” Cas said. “Something like this requires discussion, especially for people who are new. Discussion on what you’re comfortable with, even for just a demonstration. Would it remain just a demonstration, or should we discuss how you can participate if you find yourselves so inclined? Talks about all of our limits, our various safe words”
“But we’ve already been doin’ all that, haven’t we angel?” Benny said.
Dean ran a hand over his arm. “This kinda thing, there’s no one right way, okay? It’s gonna alter and tailor itself to the people involved. But good communication is always right, and something we both stress.”
“You’ve said that before, both of you,” Alfie said, looking between Cas and Dean.
Cas nodded. “We have. And we meant it - for everything. For forging a relationship between us all, for exploring new sides you haven’t considered before. It’s important. Which is why, if we’re going to do this, we need to discuss a few last things before Dean and I attempt to demonstrate this part of our relationship for you. We’ve already come up with something simple to ease you both into it, and discussed among ourselves what we’re comfortable with changing should you become… interested in participating.”
“So much…” Benny said. “But isn’t it just… sex with added kinks? We’ve never really had to write out a play by play of how we were gonna fuck, we just… went with what felt right. And what you both do, it isn’t as inherently dangerous as some of the other things we read, about.”
“It’s not about what we do , Benny, but how ,” Dean stressed.
“There is still a danger to bondage. If I tie the wrong places, or if I make it too tight. There could be nerve damage,” Cas explained, Alfie drawing in a sharp breath at the knowledge he must have missed in his reading somehow. Dean soothed Alfie by snuggling into him, running fingers through his hair as Cas continued. “By Dean letting me do that to him, knowing this, he shows his absolute trust in me, a trust I can’t fail. He trusts me to do it right. He trusts me to be watchful and mindful even as he slips into a mindset – subspace – that will allow me anything. Which is why pre-discussion is so important. A less scrupulous Dom can take advantage of that mind set to convince their sub to do things they didn’t want to do, never would have agreed to were they in their right mind.”
“So given all that, you can see why it’s so important,” Dean said softly, feeling encouraged at how this was going by the lack of tenseness in Alfie’s body.
“Yeah, I guess I can. Well, I mean, there’s no ‘guess’ about it. But I see it,” Alfie said. “So… uh,” he blushed that adorable blush of his again but his eyes were alight with eagerness and curiosity and Dean felt a tightness in his chest relaxed. He’d been very worried – especially with Alfie’s initial reaction – about whether this would drive a wedge between them all. “Why don’t you tell us what your plan was?”
Chapter 26: Demonstrations
Alfie gets that demonstration he wanted, and learns a bit about himself in the process.
we're getting really close to the end of this part. after this, 1 - 2 more chapters, i think.
i do have more stuff planned, but it would be better suited to a sequel BUT i plan on the ending being such that you can easily stop at if you want.
then i'm taking a break - i have a con next weekend ad a bunch of challenges i entered that i wanna get a head on and of course, i want to get a significant portion of the sequel ready before i start posting, to make sure i know where i'm going with it. i mean, i have a bunch written already but not enough to start with, if that makes sense...
sorry this chapter took so long to get out - thank you goes to feathers for beta'ing it for me...
Had this been the right time to bring this up? Alfie thought, worrying at his lip as he followed Cas and Dean up the stairs. Cas was going calmly, with even paced steps, while Dean had bounded up the stairs so fast, he was already out of sight. The eagerness in his steps reassured Alfie that Dean, at least, wanted this.
But he couldn’t help but wonder, his own curiosity and anticipation swirling around doubt and nerves and settling into his stomach with an upsetting little lurch, a million little butterflies.
Was this really a good idea, now of all times? As enjoyable as he found the holidays, some people found them stressful, and they had a lot of plans over the next few days, not to mention that added stress Cas was experience with getting to know his newfound brother, though that seemed to have been going well.
Still, Alfie still had issues around his parents from time to time, despite how well that was going too, so, he knew how it was. And this development was way newer for Cas than it was for Alfie. Alfie had had time to adjust, while Cas, well, it’d only been a month.
He reached the stop of the stairs as his mind whirled.
Was he being selfish to ask for this now? When they were all supposed to be relaxing together before the rest of their holiday plans rushed in on them? His parents would be here, in this very house, by mid morning tomorrow.
What if he wasn’t ready? What if he freaked out? What if memories plagued him, ruined what for them was something good - How could he stay here if he did that? It would make everything so damn awkward, and then it would be even more awkward if he had to leave, and his parents were still here.
He was a hair's breadth away from calling it all off, when Benny’s hand touched the small of his back reassuringly.
“Easy, cher,” Benny whispered, pulling Alfie to a stop. He turned him, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. “Remember, you can stop this at any point and they won’t be mad. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
The reminder was good and Alfie nodded, briefly closing his eyes and leaning in to the cup of Benny’s palm.
Benny smiled at him, then slid his hand down, trailing his fingers along Alfie’s cheek, his throat, down the sleeve of his sweater till he grasped Alfie’s hand with his own and squeezed.
His stomach settled a little more and Alfie started moving again, stepping through the doorway of Dean and Cas’s massive bedroom. Dean was standing by a stool in the middle of the floor, situated not too far from the bed. Castiel had rolled up his sleeves and he was at the drawer of the tall dresser, grabbing something – he turned and Alfie couldn’t help the sudden gasp at the length of rope held in Cas’s hands.
“Are you ready?” he asked Alfie, his eyes flicking past Alfie and back again, searching his face.
Alfie swallowed, his eyes glued to the rope. A part of him did remember the odd occasion he’d been much too up close and personal with a length of rope but the other part of him was looking at it and noting the brightly dyed color of it – green – and how perfectly it matched dean’s eyes, and how much softer and more delicate it looked than the rough, scratchy ropes Lucifer had used.
“Green, Cas? God, you’re such a sap,” Dean said, his voice snapping Alfie’s attention over to him. It was then, as he took in Dean’s posture, how it nearly trembled in anticipation, the eager and hungry light in his eyes, that Alfie was able to tear himself away from those old, old memories.
Dean wanted this. Of course, he and Cas had been saying that all along, but seeing it was something else entirely.
“I’m ready,” Alfie breathed. Benny squeezed his hand again and drew him towards the bed, both of them sitting on the edge of it.
“Then we’ll start the scene. Please, no interruptions unless you need to safeword or I’ve told you you can speak or ask questions. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Alfie said automatically.
“And Benny, you’re still all right with this?” Cas asked.
“Aye, I need to see how this works between you both and,” Benny leaned into Alfie, “and y’all, if Alfie is interested in joining in.”
Cas nodded, smiling at them both before turning his attention back to Dean who was beaming at them all.
“Dean, get ready for me, my love,” Cas said, his voice strong but the tone gentle. Nevertheless, it was still a command and it seemed to set Dean alight. He stripped, Alfie letting out a stutter of breath as each bit of skin was revealed. He never got enough of any of them. Wasn’t sure he ever would. Benny squeezed his hand again, grounding him, helping him to stay still though it felt like a herculean effort not to stand up and run his hands over Dean’s flesh.
As soon as Dean was completely naked, his clothes stacked neatly to the side, he stepped up to the stool and knelt upon it, facing them, folding his arms behind his back.
“We’re not doing anything fancy, tonight,” Cas murmured for their benefit, the rope sliding through his hands as he shifted it about in a mesmerizing manner. “Something easy, well familiar.”
He stopped behind Dean and Alfie realized that from here, he wouldn’t be able to see what Cas was doing, and yet, he needed to see Dean’s face, see what he was getting out of this. Both things warred inside him and he bit his lip, tensing slightly.
“I’ll first start with his arms – if you look behind me, I’ve set up a mirror so you can see what I’m doing,” Castiel said with a hum.
Startled, Alfie looked and realized belatedly that there was a mirror just as Cas said and he relaxed. Cas smiled at him, then looped the rope around Dean’s wrist, pulling them together. A few more quick movements, a couple more loops, and Cas was already halfway up his arm.
Pausing, Cas slid a hand over Dean’s shoulders, down his arms, slipping his fingers between the rope and Dean’s skin. “How does that feel, Dean?”
“Hmmm… ‘s good, Cas,” Dean hummed, his voice sounding somewhat dreamy. Alfie pulled his eyes away from the pattern Cas had been creating and searched Dean’s face, his eyes, for any sign of distress.
What he found instead was calmness and bliss.
“It’s important not to make the rope too tight, good to check in with Dean both verbally and physically,” Cas explained as his hands started moving again. “If he’s not comfortable, if he’s not deriving what he needs from this, then the exercise is pointless. And never only take a verbal assurance. Dean can get so lost in himself that he won’t always recognize if he’s agreeing to too much, so I need to be careful, attentive. A good Dom always is, putting their sub’s needs first.”
Alfie watched tension he hadn’t even realized was a near permanent part of Dean start to flow out of him; Dean’s shoulders - held in place as Cas worked slowly up and over them and around to Dean’s front – should have been immobile, and yet, somehow, despite the tautness of the rope, the pull of his arms, Dean’s shoulders seem to shift, to slump in a relaxation so total that it amazed Alfie.
The transformation was so fascinatingly mesmerizing that Alfie was almost holding his breath. Benny pressed closer into Alfie’s side, a warm and grounding presence, and he whispered gruffly into Alfie’s ear, “Breathe, cher.”
At his explosive breath, Dean’s eyes focused on Alfie, still somewhat faraway, and yet present at the same time. Cas had just finished the last loop, the last tuck of a knot and he followed Dean’s gaze towards Alfie and Benny.
He bent forward, his lips brushing against Dean’s ear and whispering something Alfie couldn’t make out. Dean’s eyes shifted downwards and a smile bloomed on his face, “Yes, sir,” he said.
Alfie swallowed at the heat in his gaze as Dean continued to stare at Alfie. Cas looked at Alfie and Benny as he walked around behind Dean, running his fingers over the ropes, teasing under them and pulling at them in certain places.
“What we do isn’t always sexual, though Dean usually does find release through it,” Cas said, Alfie’s eyes drawing down to where Dean was most definitely aroused, and feeling his own dick pulse with unexpected need.
Holy fuck… he’d watched this because he’d craved understanding but… Alfie breathed in shallowly, eyes wide and glued to Dean… Fuck, he was way more turned on himself with the display before him than he’d expected. He swallowed, watching the rise and fall of Dean’s chest, the flush of pink peeking out around the rope, the patterns so delicately criss crossing over Deans skin.
“ There’s a difference between Shibari and the typical bondage that comes to mind when one thinks about BDSM. Most often, though not exclusively, the latter is used only with sex and power dynamics in mind, to hold immobile however it be done, while Shibari is more of an art – the ropes creating beautiful patterns, framing and setting the sub on display, yet the line between them is more often blurred,” Cas continued to explain, his hands never stilling as he caressed Dean and the rope, Alfie’s eyes following the movements avidly. “I am drawn to the complexities of Shibari, the beautiful puzzle it creates over skin while Dean is drawn to being restrained, and so we often alter our scenes and techniques to fit the current needs.”
Cas caught Alfie’s eye and he froze, a breath caught in his throat as Cas’s blue eyes seemed to bore right into him knowingly.
“And Dean has expressed a need, one that I believe you’ll approve of,” he leaned down the slightest bit and kissed Dean’s temple, Dean’s eyes fluttering closed for a second before sliding back open to stare hopefully at Alfie. “One we’ve already discussed, if you’re still up for it.”
Alfie’s mouth went dry as he went back over the conversation from downstairs, the things he and Benny would be allowed to do if they so chose.
Cas kissed Dean’s neck while he waited for Alfie’s answer and Dean’s eyes closed briefly with a whine, and a small, whispered word of ‘please.’ His body arched back slightly, putting his leaking cock on display.
Slowly, Alfie stood, giving Cas a shaky nod, then remembering to croak out a ’yes’.
Cas’s smile was near blinding and made his knees wobble as he walked forward. It didn’t take much - one, two, three steps - before he stopped before Dean, eyes raking up and down, noticing the slight tremor of Dean’s body up close and yet, as Dean’s eyes opened to take in Alfie, Alfie only noticed contentment, arousal and hope.
He pushed his fingers down to the waist of his jeans, popping the button and watching Dean’s eyes go wide with anticipation, his lips parting on a small gasp. Alfie slowly pulled down his zipper and watched Dean vibrate in place, licking his lips as his eyes tracked Alfie’s hand.
With a groan, Alfie shoved the jeans halfway down his thighs, pulling his boxers along with and grasping his hard cock in his hands. Benny stood behind him, pressing his body against Alfie, his hands coming around Alfie’s waist, his chin hooking over Alfie’s shoulder, watching Dean, watching Alfie.
Glancing up at Cas, Alfie waited for the nod, for the soft command of “Go ahead Alfie, let Dean have what he wants,” and then he moved forward just one more step, putting himself in reach of Dean’s mouth.
Dean moaned, leaning forwards slightly, Cas running his fingers through the light brown hair even as Dean mouthed his way up Alfie’s cock, running his tongue teasingly along the tip then sucking gently, just barely pulling Alfie into his mouth.
It was slow, and soft and tantalizing and oh so fucking different then their usual, all engulfing, desperate movements and Alfie couldn’t figure out why that seemed to turn him on more, his cock hard and aching, twitching against Dean’s lips as Dean continued to pull back and surge forward again, and again, still teasing.
He desperately wanted to bury his fingers in Dean’s hair, to push and pull and move things along faster, but that wasn’t what they’d discussed. Alfie fell back into Benny’s body for support, his arms craning over his head to grab at Benny, fingers clenching and pulling.
Alfie was panting hard now, mewling at the sight of Dean, tied up and supposedly at their mercy – and yet it was Alfie who was at Dean’s mercy.
“It’s the sub who has all the true power here. Dean can stop this in an instant if he so wishes,” Cas murmured. “Yet he doesn’t. He trusts us to take care of him, to give him what he wants and needs. To not push him too far.”
“Lord,” Benny breathed in Alfie’s ear, the hard line of his cock grinding along Alfie’s ass, pushing him ever so gently into Dean’s mouth, though never far, letting Dean choose how much of Alfie to take in.
Suddenly, Dean surged forward, swallowing Alfie down to the root and ripping a cry of ecstasy from his lips as Alfie shuddered and jerked at the hot, wet heat around him, his hands coming away from Benny and reaching towards Dean before he could stop himself completely.
With a groan, Alfie managed to pull back his hands while Dean’s tongue worked all along his length, his mouth moving, his lips changing the pressure around Alfie so quickly that Alfie couldn’t quite settle into it. His hips jerked and trembled and only Benny’s strong grip held him back from thrusting too fast and rough into Dean’s mouth. Despite now being fully sheathed in Dean’s mouth, Dean still moved slowly, teasingly and Alfie wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. Benny’s lips pressed against his neck and sucked and Alfie’s hands fluttered uncertainly, wanting, needing to grab hold of someone.
Tentatively, he placed one hand on Dean’s head but didn’t pull, or yank, just scratched through the soft hair as he stared down through lidded eyelids at the sight of Dean, on his knees before him. Glazed, lust filled eyes, wet, swollen lips, beautiful patterns of crisscrossing rope outlining various muscles, his freckles shining like constellations.
Feeling bloomed, something Alfie couldn’t identify, as a gasp was yanked from him. He was empty but he felt so damn full and how was that even possible? He’d already loved Cas and Dean but the burst of raw emotion brought tears to his eyes. It was overwhelming, as he realized that Dean didn’t just trust Cas, but he trusted Alfie and Benny too, or he wouldn’t be here for them like this, on display, at their mercy.
And in that second, he felt like he understood, finally, why Cas did this. What Cas got out of it. For whatever reason Dean enjoyed this, seeing Dean enjoy it was breathtaking.
Alfie was moaning and panting now, Benny still grinding against his ass, both of them with their eyes glued to Dean’s slowly bobbing head.
Cas’s hands slid up Dean’s body – he’d never once stopped touching Dean – and into the spikey hair, then pulled back – gently, Alfie realized – until Dean let go of Alfie’s dick with a small, wet pop.
Dean’s skin was flushed beautifully, his freckles standing out starkly, his mouth dropped open as he stared, panting, at Alfie with hopeful eyes still filled with a hazy lust.
Benny’s strong hands moved from Alfie’s hips, one going to his waist and pulling them tighter together, the other coming over his dick and swiftly moving over it.
Alfie’s head dropped onto Benny’s chest, still enough to see Deans eager and open lips as the first spurt of come burst through Alfie. He watched it land on Dean’s lips, watched him lick it up and wait for more. Seconds later, Alfie obliged, covering Deans’ face in his come and listening to Dean groaning happily.
Legs trembling, Alfie dropped to his knees before Dean, leaned in and hesitated, flicking a glance upward. Cas nodded and Alfie sighed was his lips met Dean’s.
“Tell him how good he was,” Cas said softly. Dean moaned into Alfie’s mouth.
“Very good,” Alfie gasped against Dean’s lips. “You were very good, Dean.” He watched Dean’s eyes flutter shut, felt his body shudder against his.
Alfie drew back and watched Dean’s cock twitch. “You felt so good around me, Dean.” Dean groaned, his cock twitching with each word Alfie said as he continued to rain praise down on Dean, Cas adding in his own in quiet murmurs.
Fascinated, Alfie watched as Dean was literally praised into an orgasm. How was that even possible? It couldn’t be possible and yet… and yet…
Dean’s come splattered across Alfie’s legs and his own, now limp cock, and over his shirt, dribbling down his thighs, making small, tiny pools in the bunched up fabric of his jeans but he didn’t care about the mess.
He pet Dean’s hair and watched him lean into the touch with a sigh, a boneless slump as he fell forward, wriggling happily against Alfie who took the weight with Benny’s support at his back.
“Come on now, love, time to take these off and clean up. A nice massage with a little bit of oil would be good, don’t you think?”
“Hmm…” Dean said dreamily, nuzzling into Alfie’s shirt and spreading Alfie’s come over him. With a flush, it felt like Dean was marking Alfie in return, in a possessive manner that Alfie was more than happy to accept.
Under Cas’s instruction, they got Dean kneeling up right again, long enough to walk Alfie through undoing the ties, the rope sliding unfamiliarly through his hands, but gaining traction as he went. He winced at the red marks left on Dean’s skin but the fact that Dean had thoroughly enjoyed that got Alfie through it. Benny came back – when had he left? – with a warm washcloth and Alfie gently used it to clean Dean off as soon as the ropes were off. Then Benny cleaned off Alfie, helping him strip the rest of the way.
By the time he was naked, Dean was laid out on his stomach on the bed, the blankets pulled down and bunched around his waist as Cas picked up the oil, preparing to straddle him.
“Can I?” Benny asked, pointing at his hand.
Cas smiled at him. “Of course.”
Benny peeled his own clothes off then climbed onto the massive bed, swinging a leg over to straddle Dean just as Cas had almost done. Cas poured oil directly on Dean’s back and Benny set to work. Dean was soon snoring away, a hand stretched out to drape across Cas and Alfie’s legs as they watched Benny work, talking quietly about aftercare and how it was different to each person both in ritual and severity.
“Dean is, as you may have noticed, the opposite of us. He’s so very tactile, likely making up for having been so touch starved in his youth, or maybe he was always that way,” Cas said. “No matter the reason for it, he derives much of his aftercare from the proximity and touch of his loved ones. Leaving him alone afterwards is tantamount to rejection.”
Alfie trailed his hand along Dean's arm, his fingers tracing the tracks of the rope. Mostly faded already, only certain spots leaving a more significant, lasting mark. Dean shifted on the bed to face Alfie and Cas with a happy smile. He looked so… loose, so content… a pang hit him right in the chest and he just… he wanted to be able to take care of Dean like that. The sudden thought, the realization, took Alfie’s breath away.
Far from the fear or disgust he’d been afraid he might feel, Alfie felt like he understood it now, at least how it worked for Dean and Cas and… and he could do that.
Cas’s arms wrapped around him as they both watched Benny working his magic hands. Alfie snorted a small laugh.
Kissing his temple, Cas murmured into his ear, “What is it?”
Alfie turned slightly to catch Cas’s eye and gave an amused smile. “I think it’s funny that we all think the others have such magic hands.”
Castiel smiled. “I think we can agree that all of us have some skill in our fingers.’
“I’ll say,” Alfie giggled. He leaned back into Cas’s arms, turning back to watch Benny and Dean.
“Was this okay?” Cas asked, his voice probably more tentative than Alfie had ever heard.
He brought his hands up to cover Cas’s, wrapping their fingers together and squeezing lightly. “God, yeah,” Alfie breathed. “It… it was… it was eye-opening.”
“I’m glad,” Cas said softly, his head coming to rest against Alfie’s. He shifted against him and his voice got a little bit louder. “How about you Benny? Was this all right? You’ve said this isn’t something you feel like you need.”
“I’m all right, Cas,” Benny drawled. “It was interesting and… I enjoyed watching you all. I think… I wouldn’t mind participating in some small ways as well.”
“You do seem particularly suited to the aftercare portion,” Cas said with a light chuckle that rumbled through Alfie’s body. If he wasn’t already in a practically boneless slump against Cas, Alfie would have melted. “I just don’t want you to feel left out.’
“I didn’t,” Benny said.
Alfie frowned a little, thinking it through a little, then twisted to look at Cas in concern. “You said it wasn’t always sexual, but Dean and I got off on it, Benny was hard but he didn’t, and neither did you. So, what did either of you get out of that?”
“It’s a little hard to explain, Alfie,” Cas said. “But at least for me, I was just happy to make my loved ones happy, to satisfy them, to… it’s different for everyone, really.”
“Don’t be worryin’ about me none, okay cher?” Benny grinned. “If I need a hand a bit later, I’ll let ya know.”
Wow… who knew this was something he’d be into? Like so many things since they’d met Dean and Cas, Alfie was learning so much about himself, that he never would have considered. Were these parts of him always there, or was it just them that could ever bring those parts of Alfie to life?
He couldn’t imagine ever being in a relationship with anyone else, much less a poly one. And he certainly couldn’t conceive of ever doing anything like this before.
Yet, here he was, in the most comfortable, loving relationship he could possibly have imagined, his horizons broadening nearly every day and all Alfie could see of the future was them, them, them.
He clutched at Cas tighter, stretching out his feet to drape over Benny’s knees and the back of Dean’s legs. His eyes drooped sleepily as Cas’s hands caressed his skin in an absent, soothing gesture.
When Cas and Dean had first admitted their own inclinations towards a lifestyle that Alfie had often, perhaps unfairly, shuddered at the thought of, he’d been scared that it would be something that would wind up breaking them apart. What if he couldn’t be okay with it? And what if that drove a wedge between them all?
He’d worried about it throughout the last month, and he was so goddamn relieved to not have to worry about it anymore.
They weren’t going anywhere .
Chapter 27: Important Questions
It's time for their Christmas Celebration, of families growing closer together and figuring out where they're going from here.
this is it - the last chapter - i'm sorry it took so long. i am actually STILL at my convention hotel - con is over and i go home tomorrow.
if it helps, this is the longest chapter in this part yet ;D
and yes, smut is still hard to write... why are these guys so insatiable?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Benny was in the kitchen when Chuck and Hannah arrived. Alfie had been a mass of nerves the entire morning and yet – he’d not been as bad as he usually was.
Dean was beside him, back leaned up against the counter, his eyes on the entryway where soon enough, he would see everyone as they walked into the house. Benny turned to look back anxiously and then forward again to make sure their breakfast – their very, very late breakfast (it had been a very good morning, Alfie lending Benny that hand after all, and a bit more besides, and of course, Dean and Cas joining in for the fun) when Dean caught his eye with a chuckle.
“Don’t worry so much, Benny...” Dean said, nudging him. “That’s kinda what last night was for. Well, not that we planned on it, but it’s kinda what that stuff does. It helps ground you a bit. At least it does me, and I think it helped Alfie too.”
The commotion at the front door soon coalesced in the kitchen as Chuck and Hannah followed their noses.
“Dean! Benny! It’s good to see you both again!” Chuck exclaimed. Benny lifted the pan off the burner and turned in time to see Dean ambushed into a hug before Chuck turned to him and hugged him as well.
Hannah wasn’t far behind him, her grip a little tighter, lasting a little longer than Chucks.
“Thank you for letting us stay here,” Hannah said to Dean.
Dean blushed and ducked his head and Benny felt a rush of affection for him at the adorable action. “It’s no problem, Hannah.”
“Either of you hungry? Afraid we had a bit of a late start to our morning, but works out for ya both, ‘cause Benny’s been cooking enough to feed an army,” Dean joked. Benny grinned, turning back to the stove.
“Nah, that’s for Christmas Day,” he deflected.
A small hand touched his elbow, startling Benny into looking down at Hannah. She smiled warmly at him. “You take such good care of your boys, ‘specially my Alfie. He looks so… so happy and relaxed this morning. Peaceful. He’s usually at least a little on edge around us, and I –“ her face fell a little. “I can’t blame him, we’re practically strangers.”
“Now, now, maybe before, but I don’t think that holds true anymore,” Benny reassured her. “You’re not strangers anymore. As for him relaxing, sure, I like to think I have something to do with that, but it ain’t all me. I think part of what helps is that, at every turn, you’ve proved yourselves not to be like the people who raised him. You and Chuck, you’ve accepted him for who he is, for who he’s with. You haven’t judged him, or us, because we happen to have a serious relationship with two other people. You had to have known how scared he was to tell you any of that?”
She nodded. “I’m glad he did, I’m glad Alfie trusted us enough to open up to us like that. It means,” she sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “It just means so much to us, to get our baby back after all this time, to… to finally feel like a family again.”
Benny eyed the food on the stove and was relieved to be able to turn off all the burners so he could turn and pull Hannah into his arms.
“You are family,” he said softly, hugging her briefly.
She drew away, wiping at her eyes again and giving Benny a blinding smile. “Any way I can help?”
“Not right now. Let’s get you and Chuck settled in and you can join us for breakfast,” he suggested. “We’ll be breaking in Cas and Dean’s new dining room table. ‘fraid there ain’t much room for all of us in the nook.”
“Your table too,” Dean called. “I seem to remember you and Alfie coming along when we picked it out.”
Hannah’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully with a hum but she thankfully didn’t rib any of them about that. He knew what she was thinking. After all, Alfie and Benny had been spending a lot of their time here, with Cas and Dean, and it felt almost like this house was also his and Alfie’s. Benny had to remind himself often that it wasn’t.
Breakfast was a relaxed affair, filled with affectionate touches and easy gestures. Benny was well pleased with how easily Chuck and Hannah had accepted them, all of them and their little quad. Maybe it was unusual, but it worked, and they had not only said they were okay with it, all evidence was showing they actually were, taking time to get to know Dean and Cas a little better. Which was bound to be easier then when they were helping at the diner during a special event, or when Cas wasn’t blindsided by long lost family popping up out of nowhere.
Afterwards, Hannah helped clean up the breakfast things, once again offering to help Benny in the kitchen in preparation for that night’s party.
“Well, as long as Chuck stays out of the kitchen,” Benny drawled. “Guess we know where Alfie gets it from.”
Hannah chuckled as Alfie spluttered.
“Hey! I’m not that bad,” he protested with a pout. Benny kissed it off him and when he pulled back Chuck was patting Alfie’s arm sympathetically.
“It’s all right, son,” he said. “They just don’t understand our genius.”
“Is that right?” Benny drawled, arching his brow up. “I know very well Alfie’s a genius. In his field. He just can’t cut it in the kitchen – and that’s my field.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent in the kitchen, chatting and cooking, with occasional excursions out to give Hannah and Chuck the grand tour. As early evening approached, others started arriving. First Gabriel, then Sam, Bobby and Ellen. Even Missouri and Jody stopped by briefly and Benny made sure they each got a Tupperware full of food to take with them since they couldn’t stay.
“Seriously?” Chuck stared at Gabriel, a beer held loosely in his hand as they all sat around the large holiday table that still was a bit of a squeeze with 10 of them around it.
“What, Alfie here didn’t tell you all the gossip?” Gabriel asked.
“He was pretty discrete, just the bare bones but not any details,” Hannah said, giving her husband a look.
Gabriel shrugged. “Meh, you guys are family, right? So, I don’t care, s’long as Cassie doesn’t.”
“It’s just… I wasn’t sure I should believe him. It’s like a dime store novel plot and believe me, I know! I’ve written more than my fare share…” Chuck said.
“Trust me, I was just as surprised to find my brother right there in front of me,” Gabriel said quietly.
“Wait, you gonna write about us?” Dean froze, a piece of pie on his way to his lips. The table laughed and Cas nudged him and Benny felt good. Everything was going so well. There was awkwardness, because of course there was with so many people still learning who each other were, but it wasn’t the bad kind of awkward.
After dinner, the party broke towards the living room where a movie was turned on and Dean showed off the game collection. The ten of them broke off into little groups that constantly shifted and changed throughout the night, Jude shamelessly begging for attention and cuddles from anyone she could – which was everyone.
Lights twinkled on the tree as they had the night before with presents piled high under it. The fire crackled in the fireplace, the carefully arranged stockings stuffed full. Eggnog, beer and a few harder liquors made their rounds, and the laughter was bright and cheerful.
Benny couldn’t believe this feeling of overwhelming warmth. He’d thought he’d lost his own family a long time ago, and when Alfie had come into his life, he’d thought that was it. And while he truly loved Alfie, he’d always felt disconnected from the other people around him. Friendly, but not friends, not family, and in one short summer vacation, he’d gained more than a family, and so had Alfie.
He watched as Alfie mingled, shining happily as he chatted, relaxed more in a crowd then Benny could ever remember seeing him.
It was a good look.
The next morning was nearly as lazy as the previous one had been. Letting Cas and Alfie sleep, Dean and Benny both slipped downstairs, only to find that Chuck and Bobby were already there, sitting in the nook.
“Mornin’,” Benny said. “Breakfast?”
“Already hit yer leftovers,” Bobby said. “Yer a damn fine cook.”
“I’ll say, gotta agree with you there,” Chuck said with a nod.
“Did you sleep okay old man?” Dean asked, taking a few mugs down and brushing his fingers along Benny’s shoulders as he passed on the way to the coffee pot.
“Slept like a baby,” Bobby said. Him and Ellen had slept in one guest room, while Chuck and Hannah had slept in the other, Sam and Gabriel making do with the couches.
Technically, all but Chuck and Hannah could have gone home for the night and returned, but it hadn’t felt right. Hannah had gushed so much about their first, real Christmas morning in decades, and before they knew it, the four of them were making arrangements for all of their family – both blood and not – to spend the night.
Benny had worried it would be extra trouble – Dean and Cas were not only hosting Benny and Alfie, but 6 other people, 3 of whom weren’t even related to them – but both Cas and Dean had insisted that it was not only not any trouble, but was an honor.
Forgoing traditional breakfast foods, Dean and Benny broke out the leftovers and grabbed a loaf of bread to make toast. Soon enough, they had cranberry sauce spread out over toast, accompanied by stuffing, turkey and even a little gravy, and the makings of a platter full of sandwiches.
Cas and Alfie stumbled in, Hannah gliding in after them a bit more serenely, the last to join the party as Sam stood looking out into the area of the house Cas planned to turn into an indoor garden while Gabriel was regaling Chuck with some more tall tales of his life on the road.
Benny wasn’t entirely sure half the stuff Gabriel said happened had ever happened, but regardless, they did make a good story and he was lost in listening to those stories as Gabriel animatedly gestured with his food. Then Alfie came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Benny, hooking his chin over Benny’s shoulders and Benny smiled.
Eventually, with refreshed mugs of tea or coffee, everyone trooped out to the living room and settled in, Alfie eagerly helping set the presents out beside each person till everyone had a pile.
The rest of the morning was a blur of opening gifts, tears and laughter and even a few pranks.
It was late afternoon before everyone had finished, and then it was a lazy hour or so as folks packing up to go home, Chuck and Hannah leaving first, tearfully but full of smiles.
Bobby pulled Benny aside on his way out and hugged him with a gruff, “Welcome to the family,” before doing the same with Alfie – after first, Benny was surprised and pleased to see, checking with Alfie about the hug.
Ellen was right behind Bobby with the same words, adding, “And don’t be a stranger now. Come by the Roadhouse sometime, a’right?”
Gabriel patted her shoulders on his way by. “Don’t worry, Ellen. I’ll make sure he takes a night off sometime soon.” He stopped by Cas, the two of them hugging after a small hesitation, then he left with a spring in his step.
Sam stepped back into the house, stamping his feet to get the snow off. “Cars are all cleared off, we’re all good to go.”
Dean followed him in, setting the shovel just inside the doorway. “I hate to rush everyone out, but the four of us have plans that are a little time sensitive.”
“We do?” Alfie said, his head tilting in such a Cas like manner Benny nearly laughed out loud.
Cas caught Alfie in his arms and gave him a little kiss. “I told you, Dean’s a romantic.”
“Okay, now, Dean? Romantic?” Sam said, his eyebrows raising. “What did you do? Score tickets to some pie eating contest?”
“Better than that,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.
“Leave yer brother alone, idjit,” Bobby said, pulling his gloves on. He grabbed Sam’s arm and practically frog marched him out the door even as Sam kept shouting even more ridiculous ideas over his shoulder.
Ellen shook her head and followed behind them.
Within seconds, the four of them were alone and the house was suddenly, strangely quiet.
“So, you gonna tell us what we’re doing?” Benny drawled out. Alfie stared hopefully and eagerly but Dean’s eyes held a mischievous sparkle as he grinned.
“It’s a surprise,” he said, “But I’ll give you a clue – dress warm and make sure to wear your boots.”
Hours later, after an utterly sappy (but absolutely delightful) sleigh ride – Benny hadn’t known people still did those sorts of things – the four of them returned to Dean and Cas’s house for one more night of holiday bliss before they each returned to the real world and the work – however rewarding – that they did.
The house wasn’t too much of a disaster, thank goodness, so the four of them spread out a blanket before the fire, moving the table back a touch to make room, and curled around each other.
Unlike the rest of past two days, they were content to just sit there and do nothing more than bask in each other’s company and the heat of the flames, a glass of wine in their hands. Alfie’s head was laying on Dean’s shoulder as Dean leaned back on his arms. Cas was sitting with his back to Benny and Benny leaned forward to wrap himself around him with a hum.
A hand covered his and squeezed and Benny turned to place a soft kiss on Cas’s throat. He couldn’t resist a few more kisses at the slight gasp that escaped Cas’s lips and Benny let his fingers roam lightly over Cas’s stomach, teasing, but never going further down. A fire lit in his gut at the light sounds, at the twitchy muscles shifting under his fingers and Benny found himself growing hard.
Cas, it seemed, didn’t mind as he ground down, riding along the hard line of Benny’s cock as he twisted and their lips met.
Hungrily, he explored Cas’s mouth, kissing him deep and long before pulling away and panting. Cas twisted in his lap, reaching for Benny’s shirt as they continued to kiss. He lifted, his hands skimming all along Benny’s skin before dragging the shirt up and off, breaking the kiss.
Cas smirked. “I think you deserve something for your patience the other night,” he said gravely, his voice low and rough, sending a thrill through Benny. Cas kissed and smoothed his way down Benny’s chest to the waistband of his boxers, the four of them having peeled out of their wet pants almost the instant they got home, then teased softly as he slowly pulled them down.
Benny was watching Cas with shallow breaths when a hand touched his shoulder, soothing and pushing at the same time.
“Lay down, Benny,” Dean murmured, urging him downward. Benny let him, pulling Dean down with him. Dean chuckled, but cut himself off when he surged forward to kiss Benny, the two of them groaning into it. Benny’s eyes closed and he gasped into Dean’s mouth when Cas covered him with his, sucking on the tip of his cock.
Dean chucked again and pulled away. Opening his eyes, Benny saw Dean smirking down at him, his shirt coming off under Alfie’s hands. Alfie leaned forward as Dean twisted, and the two of them kissed, Benny watching their mouths and tongues meeting, his hips moving slightly of their own accord as he watched.
“Fuck,” Benny breathed. Cas sucked him in deeper and Benny gasped, his eyes closing involuntarily, one hand going to rest on Cas’s head. His fingers closed in Cas’s hair, opened and closed again, clenching but not pulling. “Fuck!”
“Mmm… what do you think, Alfie?” Dean asked. “What do you think Benny deserves?”
Benny’s eyes flew back open, staring up at Dean and Alfie. Both of them were naked now, Alfie pressed against Dean’s back, his fingers playing idly with Dean’s nipples as Alfie looked at Benny considering, Dean’s eyes fluttering at Alfie’s touch. Benny didn’t think he’d ever get over how sensitive Dean’s nipples were. They were like Alfie’s neck, pulling sounds out of each of them that delighted Benny to no end and the urge to touch them was rising high.
A sly smile – somehow still shy, how the hell did Alfie do that? – spread over Alfie’s face and he whispered in Dean’s ear. Dean grinned back, pushed forward to cup Benny’s face and kiss him before pulling away again.
Dean moved away to join Cas, Cas pulling off with a wet pop, licking teasingly around the head of Benny’s cock while Dean whispered into his ear, and then Benny’s view of them was blocked when Alfie straddled his chest. Benny reached for Alfie’s hips, holding, steadying him as he shifted forward to rub his dick along Benny’s lips.
“Want this, bear?” Alfie whispered hoarsely, a breathtaking smile hovering around his lips, love shining down at Benny.
“Yknow it, cher,” Benny growled. Alfie bent over, smile broadening into a grin, bracing himself on the floor with both hands and slowly dipping into Benny’s waiting mouth.
In that same instant, Benny felt two mouths licking and sucking at his cock, a finger circling at his hole and he groaned around Alfie, causing him to moan and jerk forward. Benny’s fingers tightened on Alfie’s butt, kneading his flesh, pulling him forward, enjoying Alfie’s gasps, the wet heat of mouths on him.
He moaned again, sucking on Alfie hard and eliciting another gasp. Benny urged him forward, urged him to thrust as Benny worked his tongue up and down Alfie’s length. Wet heat moved around his own cock as he lavished Alfie’s with eager attention and Benny’s hips jerked, held in place by several hands now and he let himself go, trusting Dean and Cas to hold him in place, incredibly turned on by the strength of them.
Feeling rose in him, need pulled at him, and he wished he could see Cas and Dean in more than odd glimpses between Alfie’s legs as they worked him over, their mouths a glorious, near overwhelming tide as they took turns sucking him down, then trading kisses around his length, their tongues tangling over his tip, teasing and tantalizing him. He pushed up, pushed against their hands, trying to get more.
He whined, and Alfie gasped, thrusting deep into Benny’s. One of them took pity on him – Dean he thought – and Benny’s cock was engulfed, as Dean bobbed up and down over him.
He was close, so damn close and his eyes rolled up a little in his head.
Ecstasy rolled through him, pooling and building, and when a tongue breached Benny, he jerked hard, yanking Alfie down into his mouth, swallowing around him desperately as Benny came hard in Dean’s mouth.
He slumped bonelessly as Dean licked him clean and he soothed his hands over Alfie’s legs. Alfie’s thrusts grew erratic and he cried out. “Oh god,” he whimpered. “Oh god.”
Hands joined Benny’s over Alfie’s legs and slid upwards and he heard a wet sound and Alfie jerked again, his breaths coming in gasps. “Fuck,” he whined, pushing hard into Benny’s mouth.
The tongue in Benny’s ass pushed deeper, hands pushing his legs up and over a set of bare shoulders and Benny jerked down against it, just as Alfie spilled into his mouth. He swallowed it down, reveling in the familiar taste of it, and Alfie fell against him, shimmying down, helped by Dean or Cas – Benny couldn’t see.
Rolling to the side, Alfie slid off, sweaty but still clinging to Benny, and now he could see clearly Dean straddling his waist, smirking as he slid up Benny’s chest to meet him in a kiss, his hard cock pushing against Benny’s soft one. Benny reached down to grab it, their lips and tongue tangling, Alfie’s hand sneaking between them to aid Benny, their fingers slotting together over Dean’s dick.
Dean gave a hard thrust, groaning, panting against Benny’s mouth. Alfie cuddled in closer, nosing in to Dean’s neck and sucking, Dean dropping his head into Benny’s neck, letting out a full body shudder. Cas appeared in Benny’s view, that wild head of hair looking wilder than usual as he covered Dean’s body, hands sliding around to disappear around his chest.
“Come on, love, your turn,” Cas whispered softly. Dean shuddered again and twitched in Benny and Alfie’s hands, coming all over their fingers and Benny’s stomach.
The four of them lay there, tangled and gasping for long moments before Cas reached for one of their shirts to clean them off. Benny and Dean were the messiest, Benny covered in Dean’s come and Dean’s back splattered by Cas’s.
Alfie hummed as he licked his and Benny’s hands clean, then lazily kissed both Cas and Dean, Cas looking at him fondly and Dean eagerly following Alfie when he moved away.
Spent and sated, the four of them didn’t bother to cover themselves, content to bask in the combined warmth of their body heat and the fire.
Benny was sure he dozed at some point, idly running his hands over the arm of whoever was closest, through the hair of Alfie against one side of him while his face and nose was buried in the hair on the other side of him.
He caught snippets of quiet conversation. Nothing big, nothing important, and he zoned out, just listening to the comforting, beautiful sounds of their voices – each one distinct, unique.
But when Dean cleared his throat nervously, vibrating oddly against Benny’s chest, Benny’s eyes opened, the sleepy haze dissipating almost instantly as he shifted to be able to stare at Dean.
“So, this might be a little premature,” Dean started.
“But you might have noticed that in the months that we’ve lived here, you’ve helped us put this house together. You’ve helped us unpack and organize and gave suggestions, picked out furniture with us – “ Cas said.
“You spend a lot of time here too, especially recently, and Cas and I never feel crowded, never want you to leave. It’s also great when, if I get called out to an emergency in the middle of the night, I don’t feel so fucking guilty about leaving Cas alone, cause he ain’t alone,” Dean continued.
“When one of us is having a bad day – and this includes both of you – there’s always someone on hand to help with it till we can all get together. It feels like we’ve truly become a partnership,” Cas said. “We knew the potential was there, but I think we’ve blown that out of the water.”
Benny and Alfie listened to Dean and Cas, Benny’s eye’s darting back and forth between them both as they took turns speaking, barely taking a breath.
“Aye, can’t say that I disagree with any of those points,” he said slowly, trying not to give the idea suddenly niggling at the back of his mind any weight. No way – it was too soon for any of the things their words were making it sound like they were about to say – right?
Alfie nodded from beside him, his head jostling along their bodies as they all cuddled together. “Same,” he said. “I can’t even imagine our lives without you both in them.”
“Then, Dean and have something for you, if you’re okay with it.” Cas twisted himself away and stood, pacing nakedly over to the end table, bending over to reach under it – Benny laughed when Dean whistled appreciatively at the view - and grabbed a couple of gifts Benny hadn’t even seen hiding under there. They were small, and plainly wrapped but they couldn’t possibly be what he was thinking of. Cas held them out to Benny and Alfie and each of them took one of the little boxes and, Benny’s gut a flutter with nerves, he ripped off the paper and flipped the box open.
He breathed an almost simultaneous sigh of relief that it wasn’t a pair of rings (he didn’t think they were ready for that yet, much as he might hope for it in the future, nor was he certain that was even legal), and then an instant later choked on a gasp when he realized what he was looking at.
Benny’s mouth gaped, unable to say anything.
“Are you… are you asking us to move in with you?” Alfie asked, hopeful excitement in his voice.
“If you’re comfortable with making it official, yes, we are,” Cas said gently.
Benny continued to stare down at the set of keys nestled in tissue paper inside the box, a personalized keychain hanging off of it – a little metal guitar with his name on it. He reached inside and drew it out with a small smile, then closed it in his fist after a quick look at Alfie who was staring back at him with that same hopeful look on his face that had been in his voice.
“Yeah, that sounds mighty perfect,” Benny said, his voice rough with feeling. “I reckon we’d both be up for that.”
Cas melted in relief and Dean shouted in triumph, pumping his fist in the air. Within seconds, the four of them were in each other’s arms once more and laughing and kissing at the same time.
It was a very messy, uncoordinated kiss.
It was the best goddamn kiss ever.
so i do have a plan for more, but it'll be a little while before i start posting it since i've got a bunch of challenge projects i'm working on and i want to get a bit ahead before i start posting. i've actually got parts of it already written, but nothing in a consistent order. the parts i had already were originally planned for this story but it wasn't right, they bring a different tone to the story and it would be better as a seperate story. but i think you can end here if you wanted to.
thanks so much for reading along! Thanks for all your comments and encouragement - it's meant a lot for this one shot that's gone off the rails... ;D