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our love ain't water under the bridge

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“Kay?” 

“Cassian.” 

“…Is that…were you just talking to Jyn?”

The tall, thin man sighed and closed the front door behind him; chucking his keys into the bowl near the door, Kay Tuesso glared at his long time roommate, who was standing by the window, nervously peeking between the curtains every few seconds.

“Yes.” Kay rolled his eyes and walked to the kitchen, where he took their filtered water from the fridge and poured a large glass. Setting the jug back on the shelf, he shut the fridge and turned around. Kay blinked slowly in response to his roommate’s proximity, his roommate who was now leaning over the kitchen counter, wearing a very intent, almost hungry expression.

“And?”

“Believe me, Cassian, I do like your sudden decision to only compose one word sentences. They’re much more efficient.” Kay took a long sip of water and then regarded his friend once more. “But if you would like for me to respond adequately, I will need you to either pick better words, or provide more words.”

“Why is Jyn here?” Cassian demanded, his hair sticking up on end, as though he’d dragged his hands through it. “What did she say?”

“She said ‘hello Kay,’ and then I said, ‘hello, Jyn,’ and then we discussed the weather, which seemed forcibly polite at best. After that, we-”

“Not that.” Cassian scoffed and pushed off from the counter, and Kay moved into the living room, the shorter man hot on his heels. “I mean - did she tell you why she was here?”

“Ah.” Kay grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on; flipping through the recorded shows, he landed on a documentary about penguins. “Yes.”

The narrator began in a pleasant drone. “These majestic avian creatures have long fascinated mankind. In tonight’s episode of “Flocking Together,” we will dive into what makes these birds-”

Kay paused the television to address Cassian, who was now sitting on the couch next to him, leaning into his space and wearing a ferocious glare.

“…Yes?” Kay blinked and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

“I’m going to kill you,” Cassian decided. “I can make it look like an accident.”

“Good for you.” Kay hit ‘play,’ and the program resumed. 

-tick. Watch as these brave birds survive bitter cold, vicious seal attacks, and-”

Hey! I was watching that!” 

Cassian was fuming in front of the now-off television, gripping the power cable. “Kay! What did Jyn say?”

“You could text her and ask her,” Kay pointed out. Cassian half-screamed and threw the power cord down on the ground. 

“Why was Jyn here?” 

“…I can’t tell you.” Kay crossed his legs and looked at Cassian expectantly. “Will you please plug the television back in, you ridiculous cretin?”

“You can’t tell me? You … what, did you promise not tell me?”

“Something like that.” Kay shifted evasively, and Cassian growled something incredibly impolite in Spanish, under his breath. 

“Look.” Cassian took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose. When he next spoke, he sounded much calmer. “I just want to know how she is. I mean, I spoke to her every day for three years, and since… since we…”

“Since she dumped you,” Kay finished, and Cassian looked like he was considering flipping him the bird. 

“Since she dumped me,” Cassian said through gritted teeth. “Since then, we haven’t spoken. Three weeks, and I see her outside this apartment every now and then, and - and why? Does she miss me?”

Hope seemed to leak out from around the carefully constructed mask that Cassian had spent years perfecting. 

“Yes.” Kay nodded, once. “Will you please stop holding the television hostage, now?”

“No, wait a second.” Cassian grabbed the cord as collateral and straightened up. “Did she say those words? Did she say I miss him?”

“Something like that.” Kay held the remote up and then jerked his head. “Plug it in, and move out of the way. Or I will move you.”

“Fine.” Cassian obliged forcefully and stalked to the door. “But I’m going out there to talk to her, unless you give me a good reason not to.”

“No. Wait. Don’t.” Kay spoke robotically, his attention already glued to the television once more.

“-predatory drilling practices by corporations.” 

“I hate corporations,” Kay said to himself as Cassian slipped his shoes on and snagged the keys. 

He slammed the door shut behind him with a huff and barreled down the stairs, knowing (from surveillance) that Jyn had still been on the bench out front as of forty-five seconds ago. But what would he say to her? Cassian hesitated at the door to the complex and then shook his head and walked out. He knew what he wanted to say to her. I miss you too, estrella. If you want me, I want you. I always want you. 

She was up ahead, sitting on the bench, hunched over her laptop, her nose wrinkled adorably the way it always did when she was thinking. Cassian rubbed his neck and walked swiftly to her, before his coward of a brain could talk his steadfast heart out of this decision. 

I love you madly. I could never stop loving you, even when the stars fall from the sky, I will love you. 

When he was close enough to count the freckles on her nose, Cassian spoke. “Jyn.”

It came out as a whisper, delicate, fragile. 

“Cassian.” She looked up, startled, green eyes wide. “I-”

He looked down and frowned - her laptop was open to a social media page. She bit her lip anxiously as he raised his eyes to her face.

“Were you-” He grabbed her laptop, ignoring her squawk of protest.

“Gimme that!” She swiped for it, but he held it over her head, glorying in their eight inch height difference - not for the first time, but for a very different reason than normal. Cassian clicked on the network tab at the bottom of the screen.

“Ah HA!” He stared down at Jyn in only mildly heartbroken victory. “You’re still logged into my Wi-Fi!”

“It’s faster than the coffeeshop,” Jyn whined, holding her hands out for the laptop. He handed it over with a reluctant scoff. 

“I can’t believe you.” He shook his head as she settled back into the bench and refreshed her page. “You ridiculous, little…” he searched for the word in English, “…Goblin!”

“You love me,” Jyn muttered, scrolling through her dashboard. Her cheeks immediately turned bright pink, and she raised her eyes apologetically to his.

Stupidly, Cassian opened his mouth. 

Stupidly, he said, “I do.”

Stupid.