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F*ck the rules

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It was a frost filled, Misty February morning and Robert was dressed up with his usual tweed shooting jacket, trousers and boots.

The shooting season had started and life was about to get even more strict than it usually was.

As Robert walked through the woods, scaring the pheasants as much he could, he saw a man in the corner of his eye. As he came into view he could see he was dressed in as equally uncomfortable clothing. “Excuse me.”

The man looked over.

“Are you lost.” He could see he had a gun. “The shooters are on the next field over. You’re not meant to be here.”

“Errr.. right. Ok.” He went to leave before turning back round. “Actually I’m kinda hiding.”

Robert frowned. “Hiding? From who?”

“My uncle and my best mate.”

Robert shook his head. “And… why?”

The man huffed. “Because I don’t wanna be here. I’m in this stupid outfit, with this gun I have no idea how to shoot. I’m hungry, exhausted because we got up at the crack of fucking dawn to stand in a field.

Robert took a moment to figure out if he was joking, before bursting out laughing. “Are for real?”

“For real?”

Roberts head fell backwards in amusement. “You sound like me. Well.. you say what I’m thinking, I just don’t say it.”

“Really? You look too posh to think that!”

“Nah. You don’t know me.”

“No I don’t. But.. what I do know is this..” he pointed around “this is ridiculous, and I need some food and a cuppa before I pass out.”

Robert just couldn’t help but smile. “That way.” He pointed.

The man gave him a nod and walked off.

Robert did something he’d never dare do before. “Hey.”

He turned round. “What?”

“What’s your name?”

“Aaron. What’s yours?”

“Robert. Mind if I join you?”

“For breakfast?”

Robert swallowed and nodded.

Aaron shrugged. “Sure.” He wasn’t fussed, he just wanted food and somewhere to sit down that wasn’t damp.

 

. . .

 

“Two teas and two bacon rolls please.”

Aaron looked on as Robert ordered at the farm house café next to the stately home.

As the food came, he grabbed them, nodding for Aaron to follow him as he walked out the door.

Aaron followed. “Where you going?”

“Come on. Somewhere comfier than this café.”

He followed him into the big house.

“Are we allowed in here?”

“I am.”

Aaron tutted. “Well what about me?”

“Well I’ll make sure no one sees you.”

The man stopped. “Hang on.”

“What?”

“Who are you?”

“Who do you think I am?”

“Please tell me your second names not Sugden?”

He laughed. “Would that be a problem?”

“Oh my fucking god. You’re Robert Sugden. The earls son!”

“The one and only.”

“FUCK!”

Robert frowned. “Why you so concern who I am?”

“Just.. well you’re like a wizard or something?”

“What!?”

“Well not a wizard, but like.. no one knows you. It’s like you’re a myth.”

“Yeah well.. come on, these are getting cold!”

He followed Robert to a room at the back of the house. “I can see the shooters from here. When it stops. I need to get back out there. I should have at least half an hour.”

“Will you get in trouble?”

“If I get caught.”

He sat down on the sofas and Aaron did the same.

“Here.” He handed a roll over.

“Cheers.”

They both tucked in, while the sound of shooting muffled by bricks and mortar.

“So.. you’re not a fan of shooting then?” Robert asked as he swallowed down a mouthful.

“Not at all. I don’t see the appeal to be honest. It’s just.. pointless shooting really, init.”

“Don’t let anyone round here hear you say that!”

He raised his eyebrows “Sorry!”

“No, not me. I agree. It’s just everyone else.”

“Why do you do it then?”

“Have to.”

“No you don’t. Not if you don’t want to!”

“Have you heard of the early of feathermoore!”

“Obviously. Everyone has. He’s your dad.”

“Right. Well he’s the reason I have to. Heaven forbid I should want to not kill animals!”

Aaron sipped his tea. “What, so you have to?”

“I’d be an embarrassment if I wasn’t part of the shoot.”

“I don’t get it though. Why?”

“It’s just how it is round here. Being the earls son.”

He shook his head. “Well I couldn’t put up with that. Someone telling me what to do.”

“Don’t you have parents?”

“Well… a mum, Yeah. But I’m 26. I can kinda make my own life decisions.”

“Lucky you.”

“So.. you have to ask him before you do anything?”

“Yeah. well.. most things.”

“Like what?”

“Well..” his eyes searched the room, trying to think of all the things he’s not allowed to do. “I dunno. I don’t get a lot of freedom.”

“Ok, so.. what do you do for fun around here in the middle of no where?”

“Poker.”

Aaron winced. “Poker!”

“Yeah.”

“And who do you play that with?”

“My dad and his friends?”

“Who are 100 years old?”

Robert took another bite of his roll, putting off answering the question. “Yeah.”

Aaron could see he looked a little embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m not taking the piss.”

“It’s fine.”

“Sorry.” Aaron perched on the side of sofa. “I should go.”

“No, it’s really fine. I guess it just annoys me sometimes that I don’t get to be young. I don’t get to experience things people my age do.”

“Have you got any good mates to go out with?”

“Not really. My mates are too posh for their own good and… they just wanna play water polo and drink fine wines.”

Aaron laughed. He saw Roberts serious face and stopped. “Sorry. I thought you were joking.”

“Nope.”

“So.. so you go out on nights out?”

“Well.. I go to dinners.”

“Dinners?”

Robert sighed. Yeah.. just posh events where we all sit round a large tale and eat tiny portions of food.” He smiled. “Basically, no. I don’t have a social life and I don’t go out on nights out.”

Aaron felt bad for him. He didn’t know him, he’d only just met him but he still felt himself pulled towards him. “Well if you ever get some time off, you should come out with me and my mates. We’d have a laugh.”

He held his warm tea in his hands and leant back. “I’ve got no chance of that. Never get time off and my dad would never let me leave and go off somewhere new without someone with me.”

“Seriously! Well.. can’t you just run off.”

“Run off?”

“Well.. I don’t know. Maybe get away for a night without him knowing?”

“Impossible.”

“Is it though. If you really wanted to, couldn’t you get away?”

Robert shook his head. “I wish. Believe me, I would if I could.”

They heard the shooting stop.

“I gotta go.”

They stood up.

“Have you got your phone on you?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Give it here. I’ll put my number in and if you ever get a chance to get away. Call me, if you want?”

Robert felt a bit giddy at the thought. “Sounds good.” He gave Aaron his phone. “Do you want mine.?”

“Text me. Then I’ll have yours.”

“Right. Yeah.” Robert felt a little bit alive, for the first time in a very long time.

“Right, here you go.” He gave his phone back.

“Thanks.” He placed his phone back in his pocket and went to leave. He took a breath and turned back round. “When should I text yur?”

Aaron loved the nervousness of him. “Whenever you like. Whenever you get a spare moment.”

“Yeah. Ok. Right…thanks.” He felt like a complete twat, before quickly leaving.

 

. . .

 

Robert: Hi. It’s Robert Sugden.

Aaron was in his room when he got the text. He’d just made his bed and felt like he’d run a marathon. He had expected Robert to text him that night after the shoot. But he hadn’t, it’d been a week.

Aaron: Hi, stranger !!!

That made Robert feel bad. He’d been too busy over thinking it to text him.

Robert: Sorry. : / I think I can get away!

Aaron smiled at the worried punctuation face. He was that kind of guy.

Aaron: when?

Robert: this weekend. My dads going to a shoot in Scotland but I didn’t get an invite thankfully. I’ll be on my own for three days.

Aaron: sorted then. This weekend sounds good. You can stay at mine, I’ve got plenty of room.

Robert didn’t think he’d get an offer to stay with him.

Robert: are you sure. I can get a hotel ??

Aaron: Nah it’s cool. I’ve got two spare rooms. You’re welcome to stay.

Robert felt excited.

Robert: ok great. Thanks. When should I come?

Aaron: when does he leave?”

Robert: Friday morning.

Aaron: well leave as soon as he’s gone and I’ll see you whenever. I’ll text you the address. I’m not working this weekend so you can arrive when it’s best for you.

Robert: cool.

He wished he’d never sent it. Who even says cool anymore.

Aaron kinda adored his phone manner.

Aaron: cool.

. . .

 

It was Friday morning and Robert had been awake since 5am. He’d been nervously pacing his room while trying to decide what to wear. All his clothes wear smart. He didn’t know if he needed more casual stuff for just hanging out. He’d packed a carry-on bag and shoved it in his wardrobe.

“ROBERT!”

He heard his dad shout. He rushed out the room and down to the main living room.

“There you are. Right. I’m off now so don’t be laying around, keep productive and make sure there’s no one walking the land that shouldn’t be. Call me if anything happens.”

“It’ll be fine. I can cope dad.”

“You better had. You’re a man now. You have responsibilities.” He gave his bag to the driver. “See you on Monday boy.”

“See ya.”

He waved his dad off before sprinting upstairs to get his bag.

 

. . .

 

Robert was familiar to driving to far away places. His dad wasn’t the best at using motorways so Robert did all the driving when they went on shoots and occasions.

He’d been on the road for an hour when he stopped at a petrol station. The directions on his phone told him he had 40 minutes of his journey left.

He texted Aaron.

Robert: about half an hour, 40 minutes away.

It was only a couple minutes before he got a reply.

Aaron: great. See you then.

Robert was nervous that’s for sure. He didn’t really know why but it could have something to do with the fact, he didn’t even hardly know Aaron, he’d never been to this part of the country before and he was hiding it all from his dad. Apart from that, everything was fine.

 

. . .

 

“The Mill… the Mill…” Robert was saying over and over again as he slowly drove round trying to fine it. “Ah. The Mill.” He found it.

He parked on the drive, getting out and admiring the place. It was beautiful.

He buzzed the door bell.

Aaron’s voice came out of the buzzer “Hey?”

“Hi. It’s me.”

“Hi. Doors open.”

Robert squeezed the handle of his hold-all and opened the door. He walked up to the stain-glass decorated door, Knocking gently.

Aaron opened the door with a smile. “Alright?” He stepped back and waved his arm, inviting Robert in.

“Yeah good.”

There was an air of awkwardness, but that soon dissolved as Aaron offered him a drink.

“Tea, coffee, a beer?”

“Tea’s good. Thanks.”

“Milk, sugar?”

“Just a good does of milk, cheers.”

Aaron pointed at the sofa. “Make yourself comfortable. “How was the drive down?”

“Bit busy, but not too many holds up.”

“That’s good.”

Robert sat down and couldn’t help but notice the PlayStation. “You’ve got a games console?”

Aaron stirred the milk in. “Err, Yeah.”

“Always wanted one. Never allowed one.”

Aaron made a face. “How old are you?”

“28.”

Aaron didn’t want to sound like he was taking the piss. “So you cant go out and get what you want? Like a PlayStation?”

Robert felt embarrassed. “Look I know you probably think it’s weird. It’s just.. he’s strict and old fashioned. He wants me to be like him I guess. He doesn’t realise that time moves on, and I don’t wanna be like him.”

Aaron sat down at the other end of the sofa, placing the mugs on the coffee table. “Have you ever told him that?”

“Yeah. Only once though!”

“Right.” Aaron didn’t know what to say. “You wanna play?”

“I don’t know how really. I’ll be rubbish.”

“There’s loads of games. Racing ones!?”

Robert Actually really wanted to have a go. “Yeah. Alright then.”

.

Aaron got the game, set it up and gave Robert a remote. He showed him what buttons did what and started the race.

To both of their surprise, Robert beat Aaron at the first three races.

“Have you just been messing me around and you’ve actually got one at home?”

Robert sniggered. “No. Maybe you’re just really bad!”

“No way. It’s just beginners luck. Play again.”

They played again and Aaron sarcastically got mad as he lost horribly.

Robert laughed. A laugh that he couldn’t control, a laugh that he hadn’t done in such a long time. Aaron just watched on. There was something about Robert that sparked something in him. He couldn’t figure out what it was, but it definitely made him feel something new.

“Right. Sod it!”

“Come on, don’t sulk!” Robert put the controller down on the table. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“Shut up!” He smiled. “Let’s get some lunch, Yeah?”

“Sounds good.”

“My mate Adam said he’d meet us in the pub for some lunch, if that’s alright?” Aaron wanted to make sure he was okay with it, Robert seemed the type that didn’t mix with a lot of people his age.

“Yeah Course.”

“Good. Right, I’m just gunna pop to the loo then I’ll give him a text to meet us there.”

Aaron ran up the stairs, leaving Robert sitting on the sofa.

He looked towards the kitchen. It was nice, really nice. Like a proper family home. It made him jealous. He’d never felt cosy at his.

He got up, looking at the photos on the mantle piece. Smiling, Seeing a much younger looking Aaron.

Robert tried to think of the last time he’d had his photo taken that wasn’t with a load of men holding up what they’d just killed. Then he thought about his mum. That was probably the last time, the last time he’d just taken a silly photo, just for fun.

“Oh god. Don’t look at that!” Aaron huffed out a laugh. “Puberty didn’t threat me well.”

He saw the sadness on Roberts face. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

He decided to leave it. Wondering if the family photos were making him upset. Maybe it wasn’t something Robert wanted to talk about. “Shall we head off?”

“Yeah.” Robert followed him out the door.

. . .

 

As they walked into the pub, Adam was waiting in a booth over the other side of the room.

“Hey.” Adam spoke over the small talk of others.

Aaron got his Mum’s attention. “Get a round in will yur , please mum?” He looked at Robert. “What you having?”

“Err.. a beers good. Thanks.”

“Three beers please.”

She nodded, obviously rushed off her feet.

“Your mum works here?”

“Owns half.”

They met Adam and sat down.

“Adam, this is Robert.”

Aaron had told Adam all about meeting Robert at the shoot. He’d obviously teased him ever since about dating an Earl and how Aaron would love to live in the big house on the hill, only for him to remind his best mate that Robert most definitely, probably wasn’t into guys and to shut the hell up.

“Nice to meet you mate.” Adam beamed.

“You too.”

“So.. where we heading tonight lads. Hitting the clubs, picking up some girls.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “You are such a get-around. No wonder you’re single.”

“Excuse me. I’m very happy with my life, and the many women I get.”

Aaron’s eyes rolled again. “You need to chill out a bit more. You can go out and not pick a bird up you know!”

“Well what’s the point of going out then!?”

“To have a laugh and a drink.”

“Nah mate.”

Aaron softly hit Roberts arm. “Don’t worry. We’ll lose him as soon as we’re there.” He winked.

Adam looked shocked before laughing. “I’ll be glad to get rid of yur.”

 

. .

 

They’d finished their food, and Aaron and Robert had basically just been listening to Adam bang on about his new car.

They’re nodded and smiled for almost two hours.

Aaron nodded towards Robert but still looking at Adam. “Right well, we’re gonna get off for a bit before we head out tonight. We’ll see you later Yeah? I’ll text you.”

“Sounds good.”

They got up from the table. “We’ll get a taxi, Yeah.” Adam said as he walked toward the toilets.

“Yeah. I’ll book it.”

“sweet.”

 

. .

 

They were walking back to Aaron’s.

“So.. what kind of place are we going to tonight?”

Aaron got a bit distracted by Adam sending him a text telling him Robert was fit and he should get his pants off.

“Umm.. nothing crazy.”

“What do you mean by crazy!?”

Aaron then saw the look of panic. “Oh don’t worry. It will just be a normal club.”

“Aaron.. I don’t know what a normal club is like. I’ve never been clubbing before.”

“Oh right. Well it’s… just like a pub but.. it’s loud and There’s more people, more alcohol being consumed and more dancing.”

Robert just nodded.

“If you feel uncomfortable, we don’t have to stay.”

Robert just didn’t know what to expect. “No it’ll be fine.”

Aaron wasn’t convinced. “Look.. we don’t have to go at all?”

“No. No, I want to. I do, honestly. Just a bit.. nervous.” He felt like an idiot. “I know that’s lame. Just forget I said that.”

“It’s not lame Robert. It just new to you. That’s all.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“And hey, maybe we’ll find you a girl?” He smiled.

Robert looked scared at that.

Aaron then had a thought. Was he a virgin.

“Have you… erm.. have you been with someone before?”

Robert looked confused. “Been with someone?”

“Sex Robert. Have you had sex?”

“Oh right. Yeah.”

“It’s alright if you haven’t.”

They were at the front door.

“I have. There was this woman, she was looking after the horses for a while. I didn’t even know she liked me until one day my dad wasn’t there.. and she just kissed me out of no where.”

“Wow. What happened?”

“Well.. as a 18 year lad, that’d never had any real contact with a women before, I kissed her back.”

He smiled. “And…?.”

“And.. we had sex.” He smirked. “And then some more. It carried on for about 5 months until she had to go.”

“Go where?”

“Left for another job.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. Part of me thinks my dad found out and sacked her, but I’m not sure. Took me a while to get over it.”

“I bet. So.. you’re on the look out for someone.”

He shrugged. “Not too fussed. Guess it would be nice.”

Aaron nodded. “Come on.” He headed in the house.

. .

Aaron had showed Robert to his room and both men had showered and dressed for the night.

Aaron was putting away the game console when Robert walked down the stairs. He took one quick look, before slowly looking again. “Blimey, you scrub up well.”

“Do I?” He looked down at himself.

“Yeh. You do.”

He had a dark blue shirt on with some slim fitted black jeans.

“Is it alright?”

Aaron smiled. “Yeah, Course it is.”

Aaron had his standard black t-shirt and jeans. It was basic but Robert couldn’t help but look for longer than he probably should’ve.

. .

 

The three of them jumped in the taxi and headed to town.

 

. .

 

It was a busy night. Lots of people out having a good time.

Robert was feeling good. He had a permanent giddy feeling, like he was actually out experience something for a change.

They entered the club and Adam went to get them all a drink.

It wasn’t too crowded but the music was loud and the spell of alcohol was strong.

“All right?” Aaron asked.

Aaron having to learn right into Robert to make him hear made Robert feel warm.

“Yeah. Good.”

He took the drinks from Adam and sat down on some leather seats at the side of the club.

.

 

“She’s fit mate. Look at that body!”

Aaron shook his head. “You’ve got absolutely no chance mate.”

“Yes I fucking have.” He got up and straightened his shirt down. “Watch me!”

Both men laughed as he stumbled walking up to her. They could see them chatting for about a minute before he walked back looking sheepish.

“She’s married.”

“Is that what she told you?” Robert laughed.

Adam looked concerned. “Do you think she was lying?”

Aaron cracked up and nudged Robert. “I’m sure she really was mate. Find someone else, Yeah.”

Adam sat back down and continued his search.

. .

The night was going good. The drinks were flowing and Aaron was pleased to see Robert having a good time.

 

“Another round?” Robert asked.

Both men agreed in unison and Robert took their glasses.

As he stood at the bar a women walked up to him, standing close.

“Hey.” She bit her lip and smiled. “How are you?”

Robert was taken off guard. “I’m good thanks. How are you?”

“Even better now. How’s your night?”

“Good.”

The woman order a pink gin.

“So, you single?” She asked as she put her purse away.

He thought about it for a couple of second. “No. I’m not. But my mate is, and he’s a good lad.”

“Is he also a bad lad. Because I’m in the mood for someone who’s not so good!”

Robert swallowed deeply. “Well maybe you should figure that one out for yourself. Follow me.”

 

As they got to the table. Robert raised his eyebrows. “Adam!”

He nodded to the woman. Adam stood up.

“This lady would like to know if you’re a bad lad, he whispered into his ear. “She wants a bad lad apparently.” He leant back and winked.

Adam smiled and introduced himself to her.

It wasn’t long before they were on the dance floor, grinding each other like no one else could see them.

 

. .

 

Robert leant into Aaron’s side. “He’s having fun there.”

Aaron tilted his head in Roberts neck. “Thanks to you.”

“Well.. she hit on me first but.. I wasn’t feeling it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Told her I wasn’t single.”

Aaron laughed softly. “She not your type?”

Robert turned his head, his lips almost against Aaron’s cheek. “No.”

Aaron could feel his cheeks getting hot. It wasn’t like Aaron to get hot under the collar easily, but he was being thrown off with Robert so close to him. “She’s pretty though!”

“Yeah. Still it my type though.”

“What is your type?” There was a sense of flirtation in Aaron’s voice.

He raised his eyebrows. “Blue eyes, dark hair.”

Aaron’s heart started racing. “Yeah?”

Robert was feeling confident with a few beers inside him. “Yeah.”

“MATE!” Adam shouted. Both men pulled away from each other, like they’d been caught doing something wrong. “I’m going back to hers.” He smirked. “See you tomorrow.”

Aaron smiled. “Nice one. Be good.”

“Always.”

And with that Adam left.

Chapter Text

It had been 20 minutes since Adam had left and they’d both had another drink each.

Robert stood up.

“You wanna dance?”

Aaron smiled. “No way!”

“Why?” Robert started swaying from side to side. “Come on.”

“Mate. I do not dance!”

“What else is there to do at a club then?”

“Just. Drink and have a laugh.”

“And dance.” Robert moved forward and took Aaron’s hand. “Yeah?”

Aaron stood up but still shook his head as a no.

He moved closer. “My whole life I’ve been stuck in that bloody big house in the middle of nowhere. I want to live a little, and I love to dance. Dance with me.”

Aaron felt his body move towards Roberts. He could feel his warmth. In that moment, he stopped caring what everyone else thought and just went with it.

Robert pulled him into the middle of the dance floor and danced, moved along with the beat, watching Aaron as he did the same.

They were surrounded by drunken young people, enjoying their lives, but it was like they were in their own little bubble.

Aaron could see Robert was in his element, he was obviously a good dancer and taking full advantage of being in this environment. He loved it and Aaron loved watching it.

Robert’s hand moved to Aaron’s waist and Aaron felt sparks. Was this happening. Was Robert Actually into him, or was it just in his head.

Robert’s other hand held him as well and Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off him. He felt shaky, in a good way.

“Robert?”

Robert stopped moving. “What?”

“Are you into me?” He looked down at Robert’s hands.

Robert suddenly went nervous. He took his hands away. “Sorry!!” He took some deep breaths before walking off.

“Robert Wait!”

Robert had got to the door before he caught up with him. “Robert please wait!”

Robert stopped. “I’m sorry. I just… I…”

“It’s alright you know.”

“What is?” Roberts hands where sweating.

“If you like me. It’s alright.”

“Is it?”

“I’m gay.” Aaron said bluntly.

Robert’s mouth fell open. “Are you?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“No. No.” He said quietly. “Of course not.”

“Good.”

Robert looked around. “Can we go home?”

He nodded. “Course we can. Yeah.”

 

. . .

 

As they got through the front door, Robert stood awkwardly in front of the fire place. They’d been silent in the taxi all the way home. Neither of them knowing what to say.

“Sorry if I was too much?”

Aaron didn’t really understand what he meant. “How’d you mean?”

“When we were dancing.”

“You weren’t too much. I like it.” Aaron knew it was a gamble. He knew he could scare him off.

“I.. I don’t really know…”

“Know what?”

Robert could feel his heart rate speed up. “Who I am.. I guess.”

“That’s okay.”

“Is it?”

“It takes time. For some people, a lot of time to work out who they are.”

“I’m just.. confused I guess.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I like you.”

Aaron gave a small smile. He walked closer to him. “I like you too.”

Robert looked surprised. “You do?”

“Well.. you’re not too bad to look at!”

Robert grinned. “Shut up!”

“I mean it Robert. It’s okay. We can forget tonight and just chill out and not speak anymore of it.”

“I don’t want that though.” His legs felt like jelly as he stepped closer to Aaron. “I wanna know what it feels like.”

Aaron could see the freckles on his skin so clearly, the colour of his eyes, the softness of his lips. He felt like he needed to know how we tasted, how he felt.

“What?”

“To kiss you.” Robert couldn’t believe he’d just said that.

“Then kiss me, and find out.” Aaron wanted him.

Robert moved towards him until his feet connected with Aaron’s and his hand held Aaron’s face.

Aaron tried his best to look confident and not like he was desperate and wanted to just jump on him. His hand found Roberts waist as he moved even closer. “Robert.”

“Yeah.” He whispered.

“Kiss me.”

That’s all the encouragement he needed. He closed the gap and kissed his lips gently at first, pulling away and looking at Aaron’s lips, before kissing him again with a little more pressure. Aaron pulled him into his body and a moan escaped Roberts mouth. It made Aaron want more, he wanted to hear it again.

As the kiss got deeper, Aaron started to take Roberts jacket off his shoulders.

Robert stopped and stepped away.

Aaron could’ve kicked himself. He’d been too forward, he should’ve just let Robert take the lead.

Robert looked at the stairs. “Can we take this upstairs?”

Aaron beamed a smile. “Yeah.”

 

. . .

 

It was gentle, but also passionately rough. It was like Robert had needed it his whole life, like he let it all out, all the built up need to be with a man like he was with Aaron.

As Roberts breathing slowed down, he sat up and sat on the side of the bed, facing away from Aaron.

Aaron looked over, feeling concerned. “You alright?”

He looked at him. “Yeah.” He smiled, reaching across and running a hand down Aaron’s arm. “Thank you.”

Aaron smiled.

“I mean it Aaron. Thank you.”

Aaron moved over and sat beside him. Both men naked and exhausted. “For what?” He kissed The mans shoulder.

“For being gently, for taking your time, for making me feel nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

Aaron held Roberts chin and turned his head to face him. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always treat you like that, I’ll always make you feel good. Respect you.”

Robert felt emotional. He kissed him as a tear fell down his cheek. He didn’t know why he was crying but he couldn’t help it. He pushed Aaron down on the bed and straddled him. Sitting back and running his hand down Aaron’s chest.

“What do we do now?”

Aaron smirked. “What’d you mean?”

Robert felt unsure of himself and climbed off him.

Aaron frowned. “What’s up?”

“Is this.. a one off?”

“Erm.. I dunno.” Aaron didn’t expect the question.

“Sorry. I’m being weird.” He got off the bed, finding his boxer and putting them on.”

“You’re not being weird.” Aaron wrapped his dressing gown around himself. “I just, I honestly don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m just.. Can I use the bathroom?”

“Yeah Course you can.”

Robert Shut the door behind him and Aaron’s head fell into his hands. He liked Robert, a lot. He knew he didn’t want him leave and to never see him again. He just didn’t know how to say it.

 

Robert put the toilet lip down and sat on it. He ran his hand down his leg, thinking about the fact that he’d just had the most amazing sex with a beautiful man and now he was freaking out because he was worried it was just a one time thing for Aaron, that he didn’t want anything more.

Robert didn’t even know what he wanted himself. He just knew he couldn’t lose Aaron from his life so quickly after meeting him.

After 5 minutes, Robert opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

Aaron held his hands up. “Let me talk, let me get it out what I wanna say and then.. we can take it from there. Yeah?”

“Aaron you don’t have to…”

“Please. Just.. listen a minute. I like you. A lot and yeah, this all a bit crazy and fast and.. I dunno, I met you and I just invited you to stay at mine even though I hardly knew you. But that didn’t seem to matter to me. Adam liked you, and I know my family would.” Aaron winced at himself, talking about Robert meeting his family. He sounded weird. “What I mean is.. I don’t want you to just leave on Sunday and for us to never see each other again.. like this.” He nervously rubbed his hands together. “This meant something to me. This whole evening, meant something.”

Robert was just trying to take it all in. He heard the words but they hadn’t sunk in. “I should go.”

Aaron’s face fell.

Robert started to get dressed.

“What?” Aaron panicked.

Robert just continued to get dressed.

“Robert!”

Still nothing.

Aaron walked over and held his arm. “Rob?”

That made him stop. “Please. Please just tell me what you’re thinking?” Aaron could feel Roberts heart racing.

“My dad.”

Aaron didn’t say anything. Waiting for him to carry on talking.

“I want you. Tonight meant a lot to me too. It really did. It’s my dad, if he found out. He’d kill me Aaron.”

“It’s your life.”

“Yeah it is, but it’s not that simple. I’m his only son, the one that carry’s the family name, the one that takes over when my dads gone. I’ll be in charge, I’ll be responsible for everything and in my dads eyes I’ll need a wife and family to do that. It’s all he bangs on about. The future and how he knows women that would make lovely wives and mothers. It’s not simple. Not in any way and I don’t want to get you caught up in all that. You’re dodging a bullet, trust me.”

He did up the last few buttons of his shirt, before looking at Aaron. “I’m sorry.”

As he walked off down the hall way but Aaron ran after him.

“You’ve had too much drink to drive. Stay here tonight at least. In the spare room.”

He took a breath, realising Aaron was right. “I..” He just needed to sleep. “Thanks.”

Aaron opened the door to the spare room. “The beds made up. If you want anything from downstairs, help yourself, your welcome to anything you want.”

Robert sighed. “Thank you.”

Aaron could tell Robert was feeling like shit. “I won’t ever push you to do anything, not ever. But I knew from an early age that I was gay. And I did everything I could to shut it out, but it didn’t work. It was not easy at all, it was actually fucking awful most of the time. I was so petrified of what people and my family would think, I tried to kill my self because I didn’t want to be this way. I saw no way out.

Thankfully, I didn’t succeed and it turned out, my family supported me. It still wasn’t a walk in the park, but I’m so grateful everyday for being able to be myself now. I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just trying to say, you can’t hide forever, because it eats away at you so much, that I’m the end you don’t recognise yourself. And I see you.. I see such an amazing man who deserves to be truly happy.”

Robert’s eyes where filled with tears. He just nodded slowly and walked into the spare room, closing the door behind him.

 

. .

 

Aaron woke from the sound of something smashing. He sat up, looking at the alarm clock. It read 3:15am.

He grabbed his dressing gown and headed downstairs cautiously.

Robert heard him creep down the stairs. “I’m so sorry. It’s only me. I’ll pay for a new glass.”

Aaron wiped the sleep from his eyes. “It’s alright. No problem. It’s just a glass.”

“Have you got a blush and dustpan.”

“Leave it. We can sort it in the morning.”

Robert was shaking. “I can’t sleep.”

Aaron just stared at him. He looked like the shell of the man he’d been with a few hours ago. “Come sit down.”

“I should go.”

“Robert! It’s the middle of the night and you’re in no state to drive. Just…” he waved his hand towards the sofa. “Just sit down, Yeah?”

Robert did as he suggested. He sat down gently and watched Aaron so the same.

“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Robert shook his head. His brain felt like it was covered in bubble wrap. Like everything was cloudy. “I’m scared.”

Aaron’s eyes closed, as he sighed knowing just how he felt. “What’s your worst fear about people knowing about us?”

Robert thought about it. “Being a disappointment. Making my dad embarrassed of his son.”

Aaron felt a jab to his heart. “So what do you think would happen if you went home now, and told your dad you wanted to be with a man?”

He huffed. “He’d kill me.”

“I doubt that. What would he actually do?”

Robert hugged himself with his arms. “Disown me. Chuck me out.”

Aaron knew it was risky but he said it anyway. “And would the worst thing to happen?”

Robert frowned. “Yeah it would. He’d my dad Aaron, he my only bloody family I have left.”

“Is he?”

“Yes. He is. My mums dead. Neither of them had bothers or sister. He’s all I have!” He got up. “I can’t deal with this.”

“You can stay here if he chucks you out.” Aaron said with a stern look. “With me.”

“Wha…what?”

“I’m just saying..”

Robert shook his head, stepped around the coffee table and toward the stairs.

“Where you going?”

“To get dressed. Then I’m off.”

“So that’s it, is it. Just one night with me and you’re leaving.”

“You know that’s not why I’m leaving.”

“Yeah it is. If you hadn’t of had sex with me, then you wouldn’t be leaving!”

“What do you want me to say Aaron?”

“I want you to be happy. I want you to be free of that feeling of having to hide.”

“Well it’s my life. My choice. Back off!”

Aaron felt like he’d been hit with a plank of wood. Robert was right. Maybe he was being too pushy when he said he wouldn’t be. “I’m sorry.”

Robert gripped the hand rail of the stairs. “I just need to leave.”

“Let me drive you.”

“No. I’ll get a taxi.”

“That’ll cost a fortune.”

Robert tried to think.

“Please, I’ll drive you. I didn’t drink as much as you. I don’t mind.”

“No I can’t ask you to do that!”

“I’m happy to.”

Robert didn’t have the energy to fight it.

 

. . .

 

An hour into the drive and they hadn’t said a word.

“You alright?” Aaron Asked.

“Yeah.” Robert felt bad for being snappy. He was just so consumed in his own head, he wanted to block out the world.

 

. .

 

Robert gave him directions around the country roads and into the long drive way of the estate.

“Wow. This is something else.” Aaron said, looking at the long tree-lined entrance. “It beautiful Robert. No wonder we weren’t allowed in this way for the shoot.”

“Been in my family for hundreds of years.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And I’m the only one who has to carry it on!”

“And.. I’m sure you will.”

Robert gave him a look. “I’m bisexual.”

“Ok. And…?”

“And.. I won’t have to pretend my whole life to wanting to be with a woman. I’ll find a women and I’ll carry the name on.”

Aaron swallowed. “Right.”

He drove up to the main doors. “Guess I’ll see you then.”

Robert felt conflicted. He just wanted to invite Aaron in and be with him. But the other side just wanted to let him leave. Never speaking of it again. “Do you want to come in for a cuppa?”

Aaron wanted to, he really did. “No thanks. I should be getting back.”

“I’ll send someone to get the car in the next few days.”

“Ok. It’s no problem.”

Robert hesitated, before getting out of the car. “Bye then.”

God Aaron didn’t want to leave. “Bye.”

Robert Shut the door and Aaron drove off.

Chapter Text

Robert put on his best smile as he greeted his dad back two days later.

“Hello son. How’s things going?”

“All in order Dad. No problems.”

“Good. That’s what I like to hear son.”

Jack placed his bags down and walked into the main room. He poured himself a whiskey. “I’ve got some exciting new Robert.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve found the most delightful girl. She’s only eighteen, but she perfect for you.”

“Eighteen!”

“She very mature for her age boy. I assure you.”

“No dad. I’m not interested.”

“Well you’re going to have to be interested soon. You need to be getting married boy. Can’t be waiting too long for these things.”

“Well I have to find someone I actually want to marry first.”

“Well I’ve set up a dinner. You can meet her then.”

“Are you serious!?”

“Deadly. People will start to talk if you don’t get a girl soon!”

Robert knew exactly what he meant, but he was going to ask anyway. “Start to talk?”

“Yes boy. They’ll Think you’re one of those.” He widened his eyes.

Robert felt his blood boil. “And what’s one of those?”

“Filthy perverts. You know!”

“You mean gay?” He said sternly.

“If that’s what you wanna call them.”

Robert took a deep breath. “Have you ever met one of these perverts!?”

“No to my knowledge. And I hope never to.”

Robert tangled his hand together, trying to keep his cool.

“They’re just people dad. Like us.”

His dad felt offended. “DON’T YOU SAY THAT!”

Robert was shocked at his anger. “It really bothers you that much?”

“Bothers me!? It sickens me!”

Robert felt like crying.

“What’s up boy?”

He shook his head and walked off. His father called after him, but he didn’t look back.

 

 

. .

He’d walked up onto the furthest fields, leaning against the stone wall, looking out onto the still lake. He felt lost, like he didn’t belong anywhere.

The lake was so beautiful, so peaceful. A few birds settling by the bank having a drink. He wished he could be that free.

His back slid down the wall. He sat there, closing his eyes and taking in how peaceful it was. One thing came to his mind, one person that he wished was with him. Aaron.

He’d thought about him a lot. Everyday, all day.

 

He pulled his phone out, flicking to Aaron’s number. He wanted to just talk him again, hear his voice.

He took a shuddering breath and tapped call.

He put the phone to his ear as it rang.

 

. .

 

Aaron was in the pub when he looked at his ringing phone. He hadn’t expected it. Not at all.

He walked into the back room, and answered it.

“Hello?”

Robert smiled. That’s all it took. “Hi.”

“You ok?”

“Are you?”

“I asked first.” Aaron sat down on sofa.

“Aaron…” Robert felt anxious.

“What?”

It took him a few seconds, but he said it. “I miss you.”

Aaron felt his heartbeat quicken. “Do you?”

“So much.”

“Have things changed for you?”

“Guess not. Maybe… I don’t know.”

“Robert. What’s happened?”

He sighed. “I met you, and you changed everything.”

Aaron felt his heart ache. “Come to mine, we can talk.”

“I can’t get away. And I left my car at yours.”

“I can come to you. Not to yours, but close. And you can come meet me?”

“I can’t expect you to do that.”

“I want to. I want to see you again.”

“Really?”

“Course I do Robert. Listen if a mate is all you want and need from me. Then that’s what I’ll be.”

Robert wanted to tell him that he didn’t know what he wanted, what he needed. But he did. He knew exactly what he wanted. It just scared him to death. “I want you. I can’t stop thinking about you Aaron and it terrifies me to be honest.”

Aaron wanted to just tell him it’ll all be okay. But he knew better than that. He knew it would get worse before it got better if he was going to tell his dad. “Do you want me to come to yours?”

“Yeah. I do. But I feel bad.”

“I want to see you.”

Robert smiled. “I want to see you too.”

“When… when should come down. Tomorrow?”

“If that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah. I’ll leave first thing, get somewhere close, and I’ll let you know.”

Robert smiled when thinking about seeing him again. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow Robert.”

 

. .

 

Robert had got a text with the address where Aaron was staying and he’d come up with a plan.

 

. . .

 

It was a little air b&b on the side of a one track road. Almost unfindable. He knocked on the front door, hoping it was the right place.

The door opened and Aaron stood there with a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He walked in, shutting the door behind him. He could feel the uncertainty around them, but before he could stop himself he moved forward, pulling Aaron into a hug. “Thank you for being here.”

Aaron missed having Robert close. “I missed you.”

Robert closed his eyes and squeezed Aaron tightly. He felt like he could just relax around him.

 

. .

 

The log fire was roaring as the boys chilled out on the comfy sofa in front of it.

“What’s the plan then?” Aaron asked, feeling Robert rest his leg against his.

“I’m sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t of freaked out.”

“You did nothing wrong. You didn’t feel comfortable at mine.”

“I did. I felt really comfortable, I just got scared.”

“That’s ok.”

“Aaron, stop being so nice!”

He smiled. “What, you want me to be a knob about it!?”

“No. I just.. I want you to tell me what you actually think, not wrap me in cotton wool.”

He sighed. “You’re the only one who can make the next step if you want to.”

Robert just slumped back into the cushions.

Aaron watched him, and did the same.

After a few minutes Robert reached over and took Aaron’s hand. “I want you.”

He squeezed his hand. “Enough to tell your dad?”

“If I listened to my head, I’d spend the rest of my life not telling him. But if I listen to my heart.. I can’t imagine just walking away from you and going back to my homophobic father and pretending to think the same as he does. It’ll kill me.”

Aaron ran his thumbs against Roberts.

“Can I ask you something?”

Aaron smiled. “Of course.”

“If he does chuck me out, can I stay with you?”

“Yeah absolutely. Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’d love it.”

Robert rushed forward, kissing Aaron quickly. “Thank you.”

 

. . .

 

They’d spent the rest of the time they had in bed. Robert couldn’t get enough of Aaron. Every inch of him was perfect, every part of him just made Robert even more infatuated. The feeling of Aaron’s naked body against him, made him melt, the way Aaron made him feel, the way his body reacted to Aaron’s touch made him feel so happy, so loved, so lucky.

. . .

 

“I have to go. Sorry.”

They were stood at the front door. Aaron had booked 3 nights away, and hoped he could spend at least one of the with Robert.

“I’ll try and get away as soon as I can. I’ll text you.”

“It’s okay if you can’t.”

He pulled Aaron in by his waist. “Stop being so reasonable!”

“You want me to be bad, don’t you!” He said in a seductive voice.

Robert couldn’t not kiss him after hearing that. “Maybe a little!”

“Don’t… you’re leaving me right now, so don’t start.”

Robert smirked. “Be back soon.”

 

. . .

 

“Robert! There you are. Where’ve you been?”

“I went to get the food for the sheep, I told you.”

“You’ve been gone most of the day.”

“Yeah well, I stopped for lunch that’s all.”

“Well I hope your not too full, you have a dinner tonight.”

“Dinner?”

“With Gina.”

“Who?”

“The woman who could be your future wife.”

Robert sighed so hard. “Dad. I don’t want you to set me up.”

“Well, She’ll be here later, so you better decide what your going to wear.”

“Dad, I really don’t want to.”

“Shop being so pathetic boy. You have to get a women some time.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t talk stupid. Of course you do.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop his plan. He took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine.” He said in defeat. “I’ll go pick an outfit”

“And make sure you have a wash. Don’t want you smelling of sheep!”

Robert knew what, or who he smelt of and it definitely wasn’t sheep. “Yes!”

He went up the stairs and into his room.

He knew from that moment, he knew he was going to tell him.

 

. . .

 

“SHE’S HERE!” Jack shouted to Robert who was in the lounge room.

He stood up and put his best smile on as his dad greeted her in.

“This is my son, Robert.”

He smiled, kissing her cheek. “Lovely to meet you Gina. Can I take your coat.”

“Thank you.” As he hung her coat up, she ran her hand down his arm. “You look handsome.”

“Thanks.” He felt uncomfortable, like he was cheating on Aaron. “Shall we head to the dinner room.”

“Sounds fabulous.” She said poshly.

As she followed jack, who led the way, his eyes rolled.

 

. . .

 

Half an hour in and Robert was getting increasingly more uncomfortable. He could tell his dad had mentioned the fact that he wants him to marry her. She’d brought up the word marriage far too many times for it to be a coincidence. That wasn’t the main problem though, it was the hand that kept running up His thigh. He kept pushing her away, but that didn’t seem to stop her from trying.

It was meant to be a meal for the three of them, but his dad kept mysteriously disappearing and leaving them alone for far too long.

“I’ve always had a passion for blondes.” She leaned in, putting her hand on his thigh once more. “They like to have way more fun.”

He gave a fake smile. “Mmmn, If you say so.”

His dad walked back in and she moved away. He could feel his dads eyes in him, glaring him down.

 

“So. Robert.. can you see this one here as your future wife?”

Robert was mortified. Did he really just ask that right in front of her.

“Not really ready for married quite yet.”

“Course you are son!” He glared at Robert.

“No. I’m no!” He’d has enough of this. “Maybe I’ll never get married.”

“Son.” His Dad had angry eyes. “Not in front of the guest.

“Don’t do what. Make a scene?”

“Robert. What’s wrong with you boy.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“What?”

“BOY! I’m a man, and I can make my own decisions. Like this dinner that I don’t want to be at.”

Jack was utterly embarrassed. “Gina I’m so sorry. He’s not normally like this, he’s just upset.”

“Upset. I’m not dad, I’m just telling you what I really think.” He stood up. “I don’t want to date her, and I definitely don’t want to marry her.”

Gina stood up. “I’m gunna to leave.”

Jack quickly stood up. “I’m so sorry about all this. Robert will you stop being so childish and grow up.”

“This is not me being childish. I just don’t want to have dinner with someone who keeps touching me inappropriately under the table when I’ve made it very clear to her that I don’t want her to, and to sit and pretend that I’m even remotely interested in marrying her!”

Robert storms out the room, and Gina wasn’t far behind him.

She left before Jack could even apologise.

 

Robert stood in the kitchen, waiting for his father. He was going to just leave, but he knew if he was going to do this, it had to be now.

 

“ROBERT!”

Robert sighed.

Jack charged into the kitchen.

“WHAT WAS ALL THAT!?”

Robert didn’t say a word.

“You completely embarrassed me!”

“You! What about me. Ever thought about that.”

“You need a girl Robert.”

He laughed. In complete disbelief. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I need…” he wanted to say it. He needed to. He thought of Aaron. He closed his eyes. “Maybe I need a man!”

Robert felt like the earth had stopped moving and everything was in slow motion.

His dad looked confused. “A man?”

Robert couldn’t feel his hand or legs. “Yes. A man. Not a women.”

“Son.. what are you talking about?”

Robert could see the look of horror on his dads face.

He was willing himself to just say it. Over and over in his head, he was telling himself to do it. He wanted to. So badly.

“ROBERT?”

“I’m bisexual.”

The words were quiet but jack heard them. Robert just looked down, not daring to see his expression.

“You’re… you’re what?” Jack was struggling with his words.

Part of Robert wished he could take it back, turn back time and not say anything. But he knew this was it now, and he needed to be himself. “I’m bisexual dad. Ok.”

He looked at his dad for the first time, and saw the look of bewilderment.

“It means I like men and women.”

“I know what it means boy!”

Robert could tell he was passed being angry, it was more like horrified.

“It’s who I am. I can’t change that.”

Jack paced the room.

“So you like girls?”

“Yeah. As well as men.”

“So we can find you a girl still.” He sounded panicked. “It’s okay boy. No one has to know.”

Robert’s eyes widened. “No dad. I’m not lying or hiding from anyone.”

“But, If you meet a girl, no one has to know!”

“Are you serious dad. No!”

“Listen, there are things people can do now, therapy and stuff to help you.”

“Are you fucking serious!”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

Robert shook his head. “I’m going.”

“Where?”

“I’ll come back in the morning. Maybe you might have become a more decent person by then.”

“Where are you going boy. You have no where else.”

“I do actually.”

“You rely on me and my money.”

“That’s what you think!”

Robert opened the front door.

“STOP. As your father, I’m telling you to stay here.”

“I’m 28 years old. You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

“If you leave now, don’t come back!”

Robert stared him straight in the eyes. His confidence shooting up by the second.

“I’ve met someone. A man.”

His father held onto the cabinet as he felt dizzy. “WHAT!”

“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend and I’ll quite happily go and live with him. I don’t need you and your homophobic ways. I’m done dad.”

“YOU SICK FUCK! GO. GO ON LEAVE!!”

Robert felt hurt. He felt like crying. And he did, he walked quickly down the drive before collapsing in a heap on the floor, crying his heart

. . .

 

When Aaron had got the call from Robert, he quickly got to his car, speeding down the county road to find him. When Robert had called him, he’d already been walking for an hour. He said he wasn’t sure if he was going the Right way and he could tell he was in a state.

Finally Aaron could see him walking towards him on the road. He pulled up and Robert got in.

“Bloody hell, you must be freezing.”

He’d only got a shirt on. No coat.

“Here.” Aaron took his off and wrapped it round him. “Are you okay?”

Roberts eyes were blood shot and his face pale.

“Robert?” Aaron’s voice soft as he held his hand out to take his.

“Can we just go back to the b&b please.” Robert didn’t even know how to feel. He was numb.

“Yeah Course we can.” He put the heaters on full blast and drove back.

 

. .

 

“Here.” He handed Robert a hot mug of tea and sat down beside him.

There was the sound of the open fire, cracklings away, filling the silence.

“I told him. I told him about me being bisexual.”

Aaron thought as much, but didn’t wanna push it. He sighed. “What happened?”

“It was awful.” Robert closed his eyes and a tear fell down his cheek. Aaron sported It and just wanted to hug him.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?”

“No. He chucked me out. Told me I could just find a women and never have to tell anyone.”

“What a wanker.”

“I knew it’s how he’d be. I knew.”

Robert felt so many emotions. “I know I shouldn’t care. I should just leave him and that’s it. But he’s my dad and I feel bad.”

“Feel bad!?”

“I know it’s weird but, I’m all he’s got.”

Aaron did understand.

Robert took a deep breath in and rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder. “Thank you for being here.”

Aaron leant his head softly on Roberts.

“I told him about you, Aaron.”

“Really!”

“Well.. I said I had a boyfriend.”

Aaron smiled. “Oh, a boyfriend now is if?” He teased.

“If that’s ok with you?”

“Sounds perfect.”

 

. .

 

It was 2am and Robert had woke up thirsty. He crept downstairs, making a drink and bringing it back up. As he sat it on the side cabinet he heard the movement of Aaron.

“You okay?” Aaron asked with a sleepy voice.

“Fine. Just got a drink.”

He slipped back into bed and settled close to Aaron. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s okay. How you feeling?”

“Like it was a big nightmare.”

Aaron kissed his chest. “You’re amazing.”

It made Robert feel emotional. “What?”

He placed small kisses to his collar bone. “I just think your super brave for telling your dad, and I’m so proud of you. I think you’re amazing.”

“That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard anyone say about me in a very long time.”

That mad Aaron sad. “Well, get used to it.”

 

. .

 

An hour later and Aaron had drifted off to sleep, but Robert was wide awake. So my thoughts going through his head. It was like a tornado, swirling around his mind, creating mayhem.

He looked over at Aaron. The man that changed so much in such a short amount of time. It was like he was meant to be there, meant to be at the shoot, meant to find him. He didn’t believe in fate, but he was starting to believe in something.

 

. . .

 

Aaron raced down the stairs, worrying Robert had done a runner. But there he was on the sofa.

“Thought you’d left me.” Aaron said sarcastically.

“Not getting rid of me that easy!”

Aaron leant down, kissing him softly. “Want some breakfast?”

“There’s nothing here.”

“I’ll pop to the shop, get some supplies.”

Robert sighed. “Thanks but I’m not really hungry.”

“Ok well, what do you wanna do?”

Robert had been thinking about that question for hours. “I need to go back and see him.”

Aaron nodded. “Ok.”

“And I want you to come with me.”

His eyes widened. “You do?”

“Yeah. I know it probably won’t go well, but I just need to make him understand.”

“Do you think that’s the best way of doing it?”

“How else. I want him to realise I’m happy with you.”

“Not sure me being there will help the situation to be honest.”

“Fine. Don’t come then.” His voice was sharp. He walked off.

“Robert!” Aaron blocked the stairs so he couldn’t get away. “I want to help you in any way that I can. But you told him last night, he’s only just found out and I can’t see that you taking your boyfriend up to see him, will make anything better in his head. I’ll go if you want me to, Course I will. It’s your call.”

He was silent for a while, thinking about it. He sat down on the stairs. “What do I do?” He felt tired.

“Tell him you love him. Tell him you’ll always be there for him and then give him time.”

“What if he never wants any content with me ever again?”

Aaron didn’t know what to say.

Robert felt guilty and he hated it. “It’s my life. Why should I be the one who has to pretend and do what he says. It’s his problem that he can’t accept it!”

The sudden outburst took Aaron by surprise.

Robert stood up. “I’m going to go see him.”

“Wow hang on. what, now?”

“Yeah. Can you drop me off?”

“Err… Yeah. You gunna to be alright?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

. . .

 

Aaron waited up the road in the car, even though he told Robert he’d leave.

 

Robert walked up to the front door, not knowing weather to knock or not. He didn’t. He walked in, scanning for his dad.

“Dad?”

He heard a noise, and then a crash. He ran over to the dining room to see his father sitting at the table at the far end.

“GET OUT!”

Robert felt a sinking feeling. He’d have hoped his dad would’ve calmed down.

“I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN BOY!”

“Oh I’m still You’re boy then?” Robert walked closer to him. “Because I am dad. I’m your son, your SON!”

“So what!” His dad was boozed up. “I can’t have people knowing my sons a pervert.” He spat the words.

Robert felt like crumbling, giving up and giving in. But he didn’t. He stood tall and took a deep breath. “I am your son, and I love you very much dad. I always will. Some things you do, I don’t agree with but you’ve brought me up without mum, and you’ve done a brilliant job. I’ll always be grateful. But I have to live my life the way I want. I can’t pretend anymore because if I carry on, deep down, I’ll be miserable, and I don’t want that. I’ve felt what it’a like to be happy and content with who I am, and I don’t lose that ever.”

His dad just stared at him.

“Look after yourself dad.”

Jack didn’t say a word. His eyes filled with tears.

As Robert left, he turned back round. “I’ll always be your son, wether you like it or not. I want you to be proud but if you’re not, if you hate me, think I’m a pervert then that’s your problem, not mine. I’m proud of who I am. Hopefully, one day, so will you be.” With that he walked out, leaving his dad alone, crying into his bottle of gin.

 

. .

 

Robert had to smile as he saw Aaron car still parked where he dropped him off.

He hopped in with a smile. “You’re such a muppet. You didn’t have to wait here.”

“What happened. You weren’t in there long?”

He sighed, running his hand down his legs. “It’s done. I’ve said all I needed to say, and like you said, it’s in his hands now what he wants to do with it. I need to be me. I can’t live under his rules any longer.”

Aaron smiled. “Proud of yur!”

“Shut up, you idiot. Just take me home, Yeah?”

“Home?” Aaron couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“Sorry, yours.”

“It might be my house, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be your home.”

“Yeah?” He took Aaron’s hand.

“Robert.. will you move in with me?”

The noise Robert made was only heard by dogs as he pulled Aaron in for a kiss. “Absolutely, yes I will.”

Aaron pulled a face. “You haven’t got anything with you?”

“I’ll buy new stuff.”

 

. . .

 

It had been two days and Robert had been out and brought himself a wardrobe full of clothes. Aaron had turned his nose up at some of the floral shirts but he loved them really, because they’re were on Robert.

Aaron came home from work, hanging his coat up.
“Rob?”

Robert came down the stairs in some joggers and t-shirt. “Hey.”

“Now that Look is a good one.” He looked Robert up and down. “Definitely a good one.”

“Is it now!” He said cheekily. “Come here then.” He closed the gap, taking Aaron’s head in his hand and kissing him deeply.

After a minute, Aaron pulled away. “I hate to stop this but…”

Robert was breathless “what?”

“I told my mum we’d meet her in the pub for tea.”

Robert But his lip.

“I told her today about you. So.. she wants to meet the guy I’m living with.”

“Sounds reasonable.” He smirked.

“You’re okay with it?”

“Yeah Course I am. She’s seen me before.”

“Yeah but she wasn’t really paying attention apparently. And plus, she needs to give you the once over. Make sure your good enough for her little boy!”

“Well I’m not sure if I am.”

Aaron sneaked his hands under Roberts t-shirt. “Oh you definitely are!”

 

. .

 

They walked into the pub with a smile.

“Hi mum.”

Chas was smiling, already looking Robert up and down. “Hey sweetheart.”

“This is Robert. Robert, this is my mother, Chas.”

“Nice to meet you.” Robert said politely.

“You too. I hear your living at the Mill?”

Aaron cringed.

“Yeah I am. Thankfully Aaron doesn’t charge too much rent.”

She smiled. “Well I need to teach him better the don’t i.”

Aaron relaxed.

 

. .

 

The meal was consumed and everyone was getting along nicely.

“So Robert, what is it that you actually do?”

“Well…” He looked at Aaron, trying to figure out what to say. “I .. umm..”

“He’s recently out of a job mum. He’s looking for something new.”

“Cains looking for help at the garage.”

Robert nodded. “Well I am a pretty good mechanic.”

“Are you?” Aaron said surprised.

“Yeah. Doing old cars up is something me and my dad…” Roberts breath caught in his throat. “Umm.. me and my dad loved doing.”

“Is he not around anymore?”

Aaron gave her a look.

“He’s alive, Yeah. But he doesn’t agree with me being with a man.”

Aaron hadn’t expected him to tell the truth.

Chas was a bit taken-aback. “Oh rite.” She could see the sadness in him. “Well just so you know.. you’ll always be accepted round here.”

Robert sincerely nodded. “Thank you.”

 

. .

 

“Well?” Aaron said with an excited voice.

“He gave me the job!”

“YES!” Aaron popped open two beers and gave one to Robert with a kiss. “Knew you could do it. And plus, he’s a softy really is out cain.”

“Really. He doesn’t seem the type.”

“It’s all front. Well.. not all, but he’s alright.”

Robert sat at the kitchen table. “Can’t believe all this.”

“What?”

“Being here with you. Getting a job that I’m excited about. This is insane.”

“Good insane?”

He go up, pulling Aaron into the biggest hug. “The best insane. I love you.” He pulled back, in shock of what he’d just said. “Shit. Sorry. I.. umm.. shit!”

Aaron laughed. “You’re adorable when you panic.”

“Seriously Aaron just forget that if it freaks you out.”

“It doesn’t. “I love you too Robert.”

“You do?”

He nodded with a giddy smile. “I do.”

Robert kissed him before pulling him back into a bear hug. He was happy, really happy and he couldn’t wait to see what life would bring next.