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Oblivisci non possum

Chapter Text

Media nocte Cornelia clamorem audiebat.
“Gaius!”, cogitabat. “Clemens, Gaius lacrimat!” Clementem e somno suo suscitare volebat, sed maritus non in cubiculo erat.

Constituebat primum infantem placare. Postea Clementem quaerere volebat.
Surgebat et in cubiculum Gaii contendebat.
“O care fili ... cur lacrimas?” maritum quaerens infantem placebat et portebat.

Eum ad lararium inveniebat. Clemens quiete ad lares dicebat: “Cur ... cur omnes interfecunt? Nunc ego in culpa vivere debeo, quod meo domino non bene servivi! Eum servare non potfui, sed vos potfuistis ... cur id non fecistis? O lares, cur eum non servavistis?”
Clemens etiam lacrimabat.

“Quid hic facias, Clemens?”, Cornelia rogabat.

Clemens se ad Cornelia convertebat: “Eheu! Quid TU hic facias?”

“Gaius lacrimabat, postea te quaerebam, qoud non in cubiculo eras. Cur lacrimas? Quid est, Clemens?”

“Somnium malum habui. Somnium me de mea vita prior monebat.”

“Tua vita in Pompeii?”

Clemens ei assentiebat et ingemisciebat: “Omnia quae ibi accidunt oblivisci non possum. Hanc iniuriam oblivisci non possum.”

“De qua iniuria dicis?”

“De Vesuvii eruptione.”

“Heu ... sed narravisti te ex illo die hominem liberum esse. Est iustum.”

“Recte dicis.”, Clemens iterum ingemisciebat: “Sed dominus meus et uxor sua et filius suus illo die mortui erat! Omnes mortui sunt!”

“Ita vero, multi homines ob eruptionem mortui erat-”

“Rem non intellegis!”, verba sua interrumpebat: “Dominus meus, Caecilius nomen eius erat, coram me mortuus erat. Cum de vita decessit adfui. Usque ad extremum spiritum suum adfui. Bonus dominus erat ... eum servare non potfui ... ego mori debuissem ...”

“Noli id dicere, Clemens! Noli spectare tempus praeteritum; specta novam vitam, bonam vitam! Me, filium tuum, novam familiam tuam. Laetus sum, quod vivus es.”

“Te amo, Cornelia.” Clemens subridebat et ei basia dabat.

“Te amo.”
Gaius iam dormiebat et Clemens Corneliaque cubitum ibant.

Chapter Text

It was in the middle of the night when Cornelia heard a cry.
“Gaius!”, was her first thought. “Clemens, Gaius is crying!” she wanted to wake up Clemens but her husband wasn’t in their bedroom.

She decided to first look after the baby, after that she would look for Clemens.
She got up and went to Gaius’ room.

“Oh, my dear son, why are you crying?” she comforted her son and held him in her hands while she was searching her husband.

She found him at the shrine of household gods/lararium. He was quietly speaking to the household gods: “Why ... why did you have to kill them? Now I have to live on having a bad conscience because I wasn’t able to serve my master. I couldn’t save him ... but YOU could! Why didn’t you save him?” He was crying.

“What are you doing here, Clemens?”, Cornelia asked.

Clemens turned around to her: “Eheu! What are YOU doing here?”

“Gaius was crying. Then I searched for you, because you weren’t in the bedroom. Why are you crying? What is going on?”

“I had a bad dream. It reminded me of my past ...”

“Your life in Pompeii?”

He sighed: “Yes. I just can’t forget the things that happened there. I simply can’t forget all this injustice.”

“What injustice are you talking about?”

“The Vesuvius’ eruption.”

“But you’ve told me, since that exact day, you’re a free man. I think that’s no injustice, that’s a good thing.”

“Yes, that’s right. But my master and his wife and his son died that day ... everyone is dead ...”

“Well, yes, a lot of people in Pompeii died because of the eruption-”

“You don’t understand what I’m talking about!”, he interrupted her: “My master, his name was Caecilius, he died right before my eyes! I was with him in his last moments. I was with him as he took his last breath ... he was always so kind. And I couldn’t save him ... I should have died in his place ...”

“Don’t say such awful things, Clemens! You deserve to live! Please, try to forget your past. You need to realise how good your new life is. Me, your son, your new family. I’m happy that you’re here and alive today.”

“Oh, Cornelia, I love you” he kissed her.

“I love you”
Gaius was already sleeping when the couple went to bed again.