Rey cleared her throat and set her fork down. She glanced across the table at Ben. He wasn’t looking at her. He was scrolling through his phone. He put it down and picked up his fork, plunging it into the slice of apple pie she’d made for dessert. When she didn’t answer immediately, he asked the question again.
“How was your day?”
“I ran some errands, picked up your dry cleaning…”
“Thanks,” he interrupted her, then returned to his phone. “Anything else?”
She chewed her bottom lip uncertain how to proceed. Ben wasn’t acting right. He’d been quiet since he came home from work. He hadn’t bent down to kiss her like he always did when she greeted him at the door. Something was off.
“I cleaned up the apartment, made dinner and dessert. That’s about it.”
Ben put down his phone and his fork and looked up. “Nothing else happened?” he asked, his dark eyes boring into hers.
She averted his stare, looking down at her plate. She wasn’t hungry anymore. “No,” she answered.
“Hmm, that’s strange. Hux was at Central Park with his girlfriend Phasma and they both saw you there.”
Rey felt her stomach drop. Adrenaline flowed all over her body and she tasted metal in her mouth. He knew. Ben knew.
“Um, yeah, I sort of ran into Poe Dameron today at the dry cleaners. He offered to buy me lunch. We ended up in Central Park. It was no big deal…”
“No big deal huh?” Ben turned his phone around to show her the screen. “Looks like kind of a big deal to me.”
Rey watched the video playing out on the screen of her and Poe riding the carousel together, his hands on her waist, his face nuzzling against her neck. She turned away, not wanting to watch the goodbye kiss he’d given her after the ride was over. Poe was her ex-boyfriend. She’d run into him a few months ago and they’d been meeting in the park at least once a week since then to have lunch together. Rey knew it was wrong, but she had never imagined that Ben would find out.
“It’s nothing, Ben We had lunch together. We were just talking about old times…”
“I might believe that if today was the only time this happened. Hux told me about your meetings with Poe a month ago. I didn’t want to believe it, but he got video proof today. You’ve been seeing him behind my back for a while now.”
“Ben I’m not seeing him. I mean we’re not having sex…”
Ben slammed his fist down on the kitchen table and the plates and glasses shook. Rey swallowed hard and clutched her napkin in her lap. Ben’s temper was horrendous, and she’d learned how to avoid making him angry enough to unleash the beast within. However, one of the things she liked most about Ben was that after he blew his stack, he would always make it up to her in the sweetest ways. This might not be one of those times.
“Maybe it’s nothing to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me. What you're doing… it’s wrong. It’s unfair to both me and him. Does he know we’re together?”
“Yes, he knows we live together,” Rey answered.
Ben sighed and scooted his chair back. He got up and threw his napkin down on his plate and stormed out of the kitchen. Rey followed him. He grabbed his jacket off the hook by the door and shoved his cigarettes and phone into the pocket.
“Where are you going?” Rey asked.
“Out. I’m too pissed off right now to have a rational conversation.”
Rey cleaned up the kitchen and went into the living room. It was dark and cold. Ben would always light a fire in the fireplace after supper, even in warm weather. They would sit there together while he read the paper or watched television. She’d color, knit, write in her journal or read. It was that quiet, companionable time that she liked the most, and now she was alone.
Hours passed. Rey had started to wonder if Ben was coming home at all when she heard his keys in the front door. She stayed sitting on the couch in the dark living room and waited. He walked in and dropped his jacket on the back of the couch.
“I’m taking a shower, then we’re going to talk about this shit.”
Rey nodded and waited for him to go into the bedroom. A few minutes later she heard the shower come on. She got up and went into the bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed; their bed. She smoothed her hand over the blankets. She and Ben had been together for almost 6 months. She believed he was the one. She loved everything about him. He made good money, so she could stay home and play the happy little housewife. They dabbled in the D/S lifestyle sometimes and that was something that she’d desperately wanted to explore but been unable to get Poe interested in. Ben was gorgeous, sultry looking, so masculine, everything she needed. Now she might have lost all that because of a flippant decision to start having lunch with her ex. Ben was right. She’d not been fair to either of them. She’d been leading Poe on without meaning to and all the while, hurting the man who loved her.
Ben came out of the shower in his boxer briefs, dabbing at his wet hair with a towel. He tossed it into the laundry basket in the corner and sat down beside her on the bed.
“Rey, do you want him, or do you want me?” Ben asked. “Think carefully before you answer. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth.”
“I want you, Ben,” she answered, tears welling up in her eyes. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I don’t love him. I love you. I don’t want to lose what we have together. I… I’m sorry I hurt you like that. It was stupid of me to be meeting with him. I don’t know why I did it.”
“You don’t know? You did it because you wanted to do it. You wouldn’t be doing it for any other reason. Is there something I’m not giving you, Rey? Is there something he can do for you that I can’t? If there is, please tell me for the love of God! I’m doing the best I can!”
“It’s not like that, Ben! Please believe me! I don’t love him anymore. I guess… I guess I just got lonely at home all day and when I ran into him again and he invited me out… It’s my fault. You told me I needed to get out and see my friends. You said I’d get bored here at home all day. I should have listened to you.”
“When I told you that, I didn’t mean for you to go running around with your ex-boyfriend! I meant you should go see Rose and Kaydel, not Poe Dameron!”
“I know, Ben. All I can do is say I’m sorry.”
“Maybe that’s not good enough.” Ben got up and opened the closet. He took the extra blanket and pillow and walked out of the bedroom and into the living room.
“What are you doing?” Rey called after him.
“Sleeping on the fucking couch. I can’t be in the same room with you right now.”
The next few days were absolute hell. Ben followed his usual routine of getting up at 6 am, showering, getting dressed, eating the breakfast she cooked, and leaving for work. After work, he would come home, change, eat supper, then go sit in the living room. They barely spoke. He continued to sleep on the couch. Rey knew things couldn’t go on like that forever. She decided to ask for help from someone why might know the right thing to do.
Rey had met Ben at a D/S club after she broke up with Poe. They were introduced by the club owner, Finn. He and Ben had been good friends for a few years and Finn had told her that he thought she and Ben would make a good match. Finn knew Ben better than anyone. Maybe he could give her some advice.
The next morning, she made her move.
“Rey, I need you to pick up my dry cleaning today,” Ben mumbled as he left for work.
“Ok, I”ll get it,” she answered.
Rey waited until she knew he was good and gone, then picked up her phone and called Finn.
“Rey, surely you understand how hurt he is right now. He feels betrayed,” Finn’s words were exactly what she’d expected to hear. She watched him take a sip of his coffee and waited for him to say more but he didn’t.
“I just want to make this right. You know him. What can I do? I can’t go on living with him like this. It’s tearing both of us apart.”
“Did you let the other guy know you won’t’ be seeing him anymore?” Finn asked.
“Yes, I called him the next day and broke things off.”
“Good. Now, knowing Ben’s moods as I do, I think he’s been stewing inside his head these last few days because he doesn’t know how to make things better. You broke trust with him and that’s not something that can be easily fixed. Ben is a man who likes to be in control and he feels like that control has been stripped away from him. What you have to do, is give him that control back.”
“How do I do that?” Rey asked.
“I can suggest something, but you probably won’t like it,” Finn answered.
“Anything, I’ll do anything,” Rey assured him.
“In the club, we have something called the punishment. It’s not pleasant, but Ben knows all about it. I think if you offer to let him do it to you, you’ll be showing him that you accept that you did something wrong and you want to make amends for it. It’s not going to fix everything right away, but it’s definitely a start in the right direction. The rules are that after the punishment, he won’t be able to hold it over your head anymore. He can’t ever mention what you did to make him angry again and he has to forgive you and forget it. If he accepts the terms, I think things will work out so long as you don’t screw up and do something like that again.”
“Ok, I’m willing to do anything. How does this work?”
“Catch him off guard when he comes home tonight. I’ll write it all out for you and all you have to do is follow the directions. Either he will go for it, or he won’t.”
Finn noticed Rey’s desperate expression and reached across the table to grip her hand.
“Relax, Rey. I think he will. As I said, all he wants is to have control back. All you have to do is give it to him.”
Rey was kneeling in front of the door in a little two-piece bra and panty set that Ben had bought for her. It was one of his favorites. She was trying to keep her breathing steady. She was holding an envelope in her hands. Inside was a typed contract that Finn had given her. It detailed the punishment terms and conditions and that if Ben accepted, he had to forgive her. Rey was desperate to make things better and although she wasn’t looking forward to what might happen that evening, she was willing to endure it if it meant Ben would be ok with things again. When she heard his keys jangling in the door, she nearly lost her nerve and had to bite her lip to keep from making embarrassing little squeaking noises. She kept her eyes down and waited.
The door opened, and she saw Ben’s dress shoes as he walked in. She stopped dead in his tracks and stood there, letting in the cool air. It took almost a minute before he recovered enough to have the piece of mind to close the door. She held her breath as he took off his jacket and hung it up, then put his briefcase on the table beside the door. When he turned back toward her, she lifted the envelope and handed it to him. He took it and opened it. She wasn’t looking at him, but she knew he was reading it. He was so close that she could smell him; his cologne, sweat, his skin, the musky, delicious scent that meant Ben, her Ben.
“So, you talked to Finn I gather?” he asked.
“Yes, I saw him today.”
“Do you understand what this means?” he asked, waving the paper in front of her face.
“Yes, he explained it to me in detail.”
Ben sighed and shifted his weight from foot to foot as if he was nervous and not sure how he wanted to proceed. Rey reached out and wrapped both arms around his thighs, pressing her face into the crotch of his dress pants and inhaling deeply. She loved the way he smelled. She nuzzled her face into the bulge and pressed kisses to his zipper.
“Please give us another chance, Ben. I don’t want to lose you,” she begged.
Ben reached down and ran his hand through her hair. She’d left it loose and curled it the way she knew he liked it. She felt emotions surge through her at his touch. She’d missed it so much. Maybe this would work. Maybe...
“Did you cook supper?” he asked, still caressing her head.
“Yes, I made your favorite, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade dinner rolls and chocolate cake for dessert.”
“Well, I’m starved. Let’s eat.” Ben pulled her to her feet and followed her into the kitchen. She put on an apron over the lingerie set and fixed him a plate and a glass of soda. She wasn’t sure she could eat anything and decided to take Finn’s advice and keep Ben surprised. She knelt on the floor beside his chair and put her hands in her lap. He glanced down at her.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked.
“Only if you let me, Master” she answered.
She didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath or the way the corner of his mouth turned up in an almost imperceptible grin.
He scooped up some mashed potatoes and gravy on his spoon and lowered it down to her. She opened her mouth and let him feed it to her. She had to admit, it was an amazing feeling of liberation to just kneel there and let him feed her bits from his plate. She would not have thought something like that could feel so good. Finn was right. She needed this as much as Ben needed it. When he was finished, she got up and got his desert and put a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the plate before she handed it to him. She knelt beside him again and waited.
“Are you trying to make me fat, Rey?” he asked, reaching down to stroke the side of her face.
“I doubt if that would be possible the way you work out, Master,” she replied, running her hand up his thigh. “You’re built like a Greek God.”
Ben hummed his approval, but she wasn’t sure if it was for the dessert, her hand on his leg, the compliment or all of it together. By the time he’d finished eating, she could feel the heat pooling in her groin and could almost smell her own arousal. She wanted him so badly, but she had to remind herself that tonight she didn’t get to cum. Tonight it was all for him.
Rey got up to clear away the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. Ben was reading through the contract again as she worked, and she could feel her anxiety returning. When she finished, he stood up and stretched, then put the contract down on the table.
“Do you understand that once you agree to this, you don’t get to stop? There is no safewording out of this situation. It won’t feel good, Rey. It’s going to hurt like hell. Are you really prepared to submit to something like this?”
“I understand, Master. I need you to see that I am committed to making things right between us. I know this is only a start, but I want to win back your trust.”
Ben nodded, then walked around the table and put his hands on her hips, pulling her close and brushing his lips against hers.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Rey. I don’t like it. It does nothing for me. It doesn’t get me off. A little pain is fine, but this… When we first met, you said you were absolutely not ok with doing…”
“It’s ok, Ben. It wouldn’t be much of a punishment if it was something I liked, would it? Besides, you said you liked doing that. I want to start testing my limits, trying things that you like too. I understand this is supposed to hurt and make me remember why I’m doing it. I need this reset. I think you do too.”
“Ok, as long as you understand,” Ben replied. “Are you ready to start?”
“Yes, if you are, Master.”
“Did Finn give you instructions?”
“Yes, I have everything ready.”
“Alright, let’s begin.”
Rey went into the bathroom and closed the door. She’d showered and shaved, waxed and buffed. There was only one thing left to do. On a shelf in the bathroom was the brown paper bag from the drug store. It contained everything she needed. Ben was waiting in the living room until she finished. She opened the bag and put the items she’d purchased on the sink. A bottle of lube and an enema. When she met Ben at the club, she’d told him that anal sex was something she absolutely would not do. She’d had a very bad experience with it before, and thought it was the most painful thing she’d ever experienced. When Ben told her that it didn’t have to be and that the guy she was with had obviously not known what he was doing, she’d protested that it was still a hard limit for her. Ben had been disappointed as he said it was something he really liked doing with a girl. Unfortunately, it was a part of this punishment thing, and she was going to have to do it.
Rey walked into the bedroom and opened the door. Ben stood up and folded the paper he’d been reading. She dropped her eyes to the floor and watched him cross the room. She was nervous. The punishment included three parts and she wasn’t looking forward to any of it. Ben stood in front of her. He reached out and tilted her chin up.
“Look at me, Rey,” he commanded, and she looked up, meeting his dark eyes. “This is the last chance to back out. I won’t stop once I start.”
“I understand, Master,” she answered.
Ben leaned down and kissed her gently, barely brushing her lips with his. She felt the tears starting up in her eyes again and she bit her bottom lip and struggled to keep them in check.
“Get undressed and on the bed, face down, arms above your head.”
She couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran over her body, or the surge of heat to her groin when he commanded her in that deep, sultry voice she loved so much. She quickly stripped off the bra and panties and cast them aside, then laid herself out on the bed as he’d instructed.
She heard the bedside table drawer open and the clink of handcuffs, then the cold steel wrapping around her wrists and securing them to the headboard of the bed. He tugged up on her hips and she lifted for him. He slid two pillows under her to lift her up, then she felt his warm hands sliding down her legs to her ankles, pulling her legs wide and securing her ankles to the footboard. She dropped her head against the mattress and tried to remember what Finn had told her.
“Just breathe, Rey. Keep your body as relaxed as possible. When you tense up your muscles, it makes the pain worse. Trust him. Ben is a good Dom. He will take care of you when it’s over.”
Rey jumped when she heard the sound of Ben’s belt buckle clinking as he unbuckled it and pulled the leather through his belt loops. He laid the belt on the bed beside her, and stood in her line of sight, slowly loosening his tie. He pulled it over his head and began to unbutton his dress shirt. She watched, concentrating on his motions to keep her grounded and in the moment. Slid the shirt off and tossed it into a corner, then toed off his shoes. He walked across the floor, his heavy footfalls making it shake. She drew in a deep centering breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth, just as Finn had told her to do. She could get through this. She had to do it for her and for Ben.
“Are you ready, pet?” Ben asked, picking up the belt and running the leather through his hands.
“Yes, Master,” she answered, and closed her eyes.
The first strike of the leather against her exposed skin was more than anyone could possibly bear. He was hitting hard. She’d know it would be, but she’d not been expecting how badly it would sting. She tried to keep her breathing even, tried to stay relaxed, knowing that if she couldn’t make it through this first part, there was no way she could get through the rest of it. She found that she had stopped counting at 10. She turned her face into the mattress to muffle her sobs. She didn’t want Ben to go easy on her. She wanted it to hurt. She barely noticed when he stopped hitting her. She felt the bed dip down, and his warm hands moving over the punished skin.
“Love this little peach shaped ass of yours, Rey. I wish you could see how pretty it looks all marked up like this for me.”
“Yes, Master,” she sniffed. “All for you.”
Ben unfastened the cuffs from her ankles and then her wrists and helped her sit up on the side of the bed. She winced from the pain on her sore bottom but found that it wasn’t as horrible as she’d expected it to be. Finn was right. Ben knew what he was doing.
“Now, for the second part. Go stand in the corner of the living room. Stay there until I tell you to move.”
Rey walked across the room and into the living room. She went into the corner beside the fireplace and pressed her nose into it. She stood there with her punished backside exposed and listened as Ben moved around in the room behind her. She could hear him opening a bottle of wine and pouring himself a glass. He sat down on the sofa with a perfect view of her and flipped on the television. She closed her eyes and concentrated on not fidgeting. She wanted to be good for him. Just stand there in the corner like a good little girl and take her punishment. This was the easiest part of it all. She just had to stand there and think about what she’d done.
Rey discovered that it wasn’t as easy as she’d thought. From the corner of her eye, she could see Ben’s movements. He’d opened the front of his dress pants and was palming himself through his boxer briefs. She wanted desperately to turn and look so she could get a better view, but she knew she wasn’t supposed to. She was getting wet even though this was supposed to be a punishment. Ben was obviously enjoying the view and it was doing something to him. He was turned on by it, by this; despite what he’d said about not getting off on hurting her. But then again, he wasn’t hurting her now, was he? He was just sitting there looking at her, watching her debasement.
She stood like that for almost an hour Ben finally got up and crossed the room to her, the front of his pants still open, making them dip obscenely low on his hips. He turned her around to face him and kissed the lingering tears off her cheeks.
“Let’s go, Rey. Only one thing left. Are you ready?”
“Yes, I’m ready, Master.”
She let him lead her back to their bedroom. He got the bottle of lube from the bathroom and placed it on the bedside table, then climbed into the bed and sat up against the headboard, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He patted his lap.
“Lay across me,” he encouraged, reaching for her hand.
Rey stretched out sideways on the bed, across his lap and rested her chin on her folded arms. He was going to get her ready first. She’d been nervous about that part too but decided it was better than him just greasing it up and shoving it inside her with no preparation first. She jumped when she heard him pop the cap on the bottle of lube. She listened to him coating his fingers with it, then closing the cap again. She waited, then forced herself to breathe out and relax when she felt him spreading her cheeks, then the brush of his finger circling her opening.
“Just breathe, baby,” he encouraged, leaning down to kiss her lower back. “Don’t fight me.”
He circled her gently with his finger, then pressed it inside her. She went still, waiting for the pain, but it didn’t come. She’d been expecting it, that awful burn, but it wasn’t painful at all. She felt full with it, but that was all.
“So wet for me, Rey,” Ben moaned, and she felt another finger moving through her drenched folds. “Do you like this baby?”
“I’m not supposed to like it, Master,” she answered.
“I don’t mind if you do, sweetheart. Makes it easier for me. I said I don’t want to hurt you.”
Rey tensed slightly as he added a second finger but found it strangely pleasurable. She had to struggle to keep from humping against his groin for more friction.
You don’t get to cum, Rey, tonight is for him, she reminded herself.
She heard the cap being popped on the lube, and Ben removed his fingers. She got nervous for a second, but he was only adding more lube. When his fingers returned, he pushed in a third one. Now that did burn a bit. Rey hissed through her teeth and crawled forward, trying to escape the intrusion.
“Don’t fight me, Rey,” Ben reminded her. “If you can’t take three of my fingers, there is no way you can take my cock. Let me get you ready.”
Ben grabbed her shoulder and held her still as he worked his fingers inside her, scissoring them open and stretching her. She opened her mouth and panted, concentrating on keeping as relaxed as possible. She could do this. She had to do this.
She tried not to think about how awful it had been before. Her boyfriend at the time, drunk, bending her over the kitchen table, stale beer breath in her face, she had screamed at him that it hurt, begged him to stop. He told her that she had to take it. She shouldn’t have been looking at that other guy in the bar. Next time she would remember how bad it hurt…
Ben wasn’t that guy. Ben wasn’t hurting her on purpose. Rey shut those thoughts out of her mind as he withdrew his fingers and wiped them on the blanket.
“Hands and knees, Rey, chest against the bed, spread your legs for me.”
She got into the position, and her whole body was trembling as he knelt behind her. She could hear him slicking up his cock with the lube and she tensed, going as still as possible when she felt the head of his cock teasing at her opening.
“I’m sorry Rey,” Ben whispered behind her. “I’m sorry it had to be like this.”
She felt the first push and did as Finn had instructed her. She pushed back like she was trying to push him out of her and let out her breath. Ben slipped inside the tight ring of muscle and clutched her hips so tightly she knew he was leaving bruises.
“God damn!” he cried out, head tipping back as he struggled not to cum right there. “Fuck, Rey! You’re so tight, baby!”
Rey was biting her knuckles so hard she tasted blood. There it was, that awful pain she’d been expecting all along. It was too much. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t.
Ben pulled back a bit and pushed in further. “Don’t ever make me doubt you again, Rey,” he ground out between gritted teeth. “I can’t stand not being able to trust you.”
Rey whimpered and shoved her face into the mattress again. She didn’t want him to see her face; to know how badly it was hurting her.
“Easy, baby,” Ben soothed, running his hands up and down her back. Relax and move with me, not against me. Open up for me.”
Rey tried to do as he asked. She forced her hands to unclench and let out the tension she was holding in her muscles. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to rock back against him, mirroring his movements. Ben was going slow, gently thrusting into her.
“Want to fuck him out of your mind,” Ben growled. “Want you to only want me, Rey!”
“Yes, Master,” she gasped, lifting up on her forearms. “Only you.”
Ben started moving faster, harder, driving himself into her. Rey’s mouth hung open and she let her breath out in little gasps. It wasn’t painful anymore. It felt almost…good. Ben’s hand moved around her hip and his fingers found her clit. She cried out in shock when he began to gently massage it.
“Wanna feel you cum on me, Rey. Wanna feel you clenching around my cock. Please…”
He lost his rhythm, leaning forward and bracing himself over her back, letting her support most of his weight. “Please, baby, please cum for me.”
Rey concentrated on his fingers, moving through her slick, moving so precisely over that hot little nub of flesh in only the way he knew how to touch her. His hot mouth brushed her shoulder and she felt his teeth close over the skin on her lower neck, biting gently, marking her. Heat blossomed throughout her belly, centering in her groin and exploding out, shattering her. She came apart beneath him, body shaking, knees giving out. He drove deep inside her one last time, then came with a shout as she milked his orgasm from him, taking him down with her.
Rey stood beside the front door with Ben’s jacket over one arm and his briefcase in the other. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth as she handed his things to him.
“See you tonight, baby,” he breathed against her lips.
“I’ll be waiting, Master,” she replied.