Shiro tried not to feel sick when he woke up. It was a handsome face, peaceful in the morning light, and he did not regret the night before--not really. But, this wasn't someone he loved, wasn't even someone he knew , and yet they had shared his bed. There was no shame; there was loneliness.
They would be leaving him, and even though it was known by both parties to be a one-night stand, he wouldn’t have blamed them either way.
It was the first and last time he slept with someone he wasn't dating.
“I just don’t get it, Takashi. It’s like you’re dumping me because you’re going to rut. I get it--having a bad rut is tough, but don’t you trust your partner to get you through it? What’s your plan--never have a boyfriend for longer than ten months?”
Shiro didn’t have an answer for that, and he didn’t try to stop them when they left.
“Takashi! You’re 24, you have a stable job that pays well, and you’re so handsome. When are you going to find a nice boy and settle down?”
“I don’t know, Mother,” Shiro said with a tired smile. “Not yet.”
She clicked her tongue. “You only call me ‘Mother’ when you’re planning to be stubborn.”
“No, Mom, I just didn’t sleep well last night, I swear,” Shiro said, laughing a little in spite of himself.
She patted his shoulder. “Don’t give up, Takashi. You just haven’t met the right person yet.”
There wasn't the right person to meet, but Shiro just kissed her on the cheek and asked if he could help with breakfast.
Keith was all fury and fangs and fire under an exhausted exterior. He was young--so young!--to have had to fight so hard and he looked like he was about to give up, and not by choice. No, this was a man who would keep fighting until he dropped, but his legs had just been swept out from under him. If Shiro could provide for him a respite--even if only for a week--he would, gladly, without reservation.
(Maybe a taste of the intimacy he had to deny himself would serve to ease his longing.)
And, if not, he had no one to hurt but himself.
“Should I be worried?” Shiro asked, a smile ghosting over his lips and his eyes obediently shut. It had become a tradition for Keith to top him post-rut, and since this was their fifth rut together, Keith had insisted they do something special. Shiro had been more than eager to let Keith do all the planning, and he was currently naked and spread on their bed in the cabin he always rutted in. Keith was currently cursing quietly under his breath.
“You should be worried about how hard you’re going to come,” Keith teased.
Shiro could hear he was at the end of the bed, doing something on the floor, and the quiet cursing resumed a moment later.
“Seriously though, do you need some h--”
“No peeking!” Keith insisted.
Shiro chuckled. “Yes sir.”
There was a happy cry of triumph a few seconds later, a bit more shuffling, and then the bed dipped under the weight of his lover prowling over to him, and Shiro smiled into the kiss that Keith left on him. The scent of his mate’s arousal was in the air and a shiver of pleasure tingled down his spine.
“You can open your eyes now,” Keith whispered, nipping at Shiro’s jaw playfully.
“Mmm, I like what I see,” Shiro smiled, settling his hands on Keith’s waist and kissing him back.
“You can’t see anything yet,” Keith said, amused and exasperated.
“I can see you,” Shiro countered. Keith blushed under the compliment but protested and Shiro silenced with him more kisses, warm and soft and slow. Finally, he pulled back. “So, what are your plans for me?” he asked, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Keith’s ear.
Keith grinned mischievously. “Spread,” he commanded, and once Shiro moved Keith knelt between his legs. “Time to work you open,” he said with a wink, but instead of grabbing lube or touching Shiro, he reached behind himself and began to play with his own hole.
“That is very intriguing to watch, but I don’t know that it’s going to open me,” Shiro said. He could feel his pupils dilating and his nostrils flaring as the scent of slick greeted him. Keith was very excited for this--he almost smelled wet enough to be in heat.
“But where else would I get lube?” Keith asked innocently, pulling two dripping fingers out of himself.
“Keith,” Shiro asked, trembling, “are you going to open me with…?”
“My slick?” Keith replied, eyes dark and voice low.
Shiro groaned as wet fingers teased over his hole. It was filthy and perfect and god he was so fucking lucky to have Keith for a mate. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch Keith’s lust-covered face as he worked in a finger, reapplying his slick and pressing it in.
“Fuck, baby, that’s so hot. I can’t believe you’re putting that in me.”
Keith smirked. “Cursing already?”
Shiro laughed breathlessly. He loved how confident Keith had gotten with sex. Affection echoed across their bond, swiftly followed by lust as Keith worked in fresh slick--this time using two fingers.
“Mmm, you’re so loose already,” Keith purred.
“Baby, you know I have good control there--you can give me three now,” Shiro insisted.
Keith smacked his thigh lightly and then kissed an apology. “You’re not in control today,” he reminded.
Shiro bit his lip and shivered. “Would you please touch my gland?” he asked meekly. A loud groan burst from his lips as Keith complied with his request, licking across the thigh gland and massaging it with his thumb.
“You taste so good, baby,” Keith said, eyes hooded.
“Keith…,” Shiro whined, head lolling back as he pumped his hips, earning himself another smack.
“I decide how much you get and when, but if you ask nicely, I might speed up,” Keith smiled.
“Please baby, I want you in me,” Shiro said instantly. He had never been above begging when it came to Keith.
“Oh I’m not going to be in you today,” Keith smirked. “Do you want to see what it is I have planned for you?”
Keith had just wormed in a third finger and it took Shiro’s mind several seconds to catch up with the conversation.
“Wh-wha…?” he managed.
Keith chuckled and nuzzled his thigh gland before slipping his fingers out, leaving Shiro sadly empty. He beckoned Shiro to follow him to the edge of the bed and Shiro scooted clumsily after him.
A dildo. An Alpha dildo, affixed to the floor, proudly sporting a knot.
“Want to show me how good you are at relaxing~? Want to work yourself open on that cock?” Keith whispered in his ear, his breath warm.
Oh god his Omega wanted him to take a knot and that was ten levels past what he’d expected out of today. He whined.
“Did you get this wet?” Shiro asked in awe. The toy was coated and dripping. “Is that why you were cursing?”
“Shiro,” Keith said sweetly, “this dildo is nothing compared to you, and yes that is my slick. Also, you know I’m starting my heat in a few days, so I’m more... receptive to things right now anyway.”
Keith was indeed due to start his heat within the week. It was the first time his heat and Shiro’s rut had been so close together and they had taken quite a bit of vacation in anticipation.
“So you’re okay then?” Shiro asked, aching to kneel over the toy but more interested in his mate’s health.
“I was cursing because I couldn’t get the damn thing to attach right,” Keith snorted. “Now, get on your knees.”
Shiro got off the bed and into position over the toy, let his rim rest against but not pressing down until Keith gave him permission. Somewhere along the way Keith had gotten particularly bossy and Shiro was loving it--something to explore more for later.
Keith nodded his approval at Shiro’s meek obedience and he sat on the edge of the bed, spreading his legs. Shiro licked his lips at the sight of his Omega’s stiff cock and wet hole.
“Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, greedy eyes roaming his mate’s body.
“You may steady yourself by holding onto my knees, but that’s it--for now,” Keith said, fisting his cock almost lazily. He paused and leaned forward to touch Shiro’s face. “Don’t hurt yourself on the knot, love. I’ll take care of you no matter what, okay?”
Shiro’s heart twisted in tender affection. “I know you will,” he whispered, kissing Keith’s palm. “May I sit down now?”
Keith settled back and smiled his permission, watching with distant and haughty satisfaction. Shiro was not fooled. His mate was as weak for this as he was--and didn’t that mean his mate deserved a show?
Shiro arched his back and pressed down slowly, letting his mouth drop open and eyes close. He heard Keith’s breath hitch and had to hold back a triumphant smile. He loved that his Omega liked to watch him, and he tilted his head back to expose his throat and show off the mark Keith had left there.
Keith clicked his tongue. “Don’t try to tempt me into touching you,” he laughed softly. “You haven’t taken more than inch yet.”
“So if I take more will you touch me?” Shiro teased back, opening his eyes again.
“Why don’t you find out?” Keith purred. He spread his legs a little wider and lazily massaged his entrance, letting Shiro smell how wet he was.
God, his slick. Keith’s slick was inside him right now and Shiro had the sudden and burning need to take more, and he sank down harder, his hands grasping Keith’s thighs to steady himself. He’d always been good at relaxing himself and he dropped down to the knot on the first try. The sound he made was somewhere between a whimper and a groan. Keith grinned.
“I think you’ve earned something,” he said, his eyes hazy. He pressed two fingers into himself and swirled his wrist, moaning quietly before pulling them back out. They were wet with slick when he offered them to Shiro’s lips.
“Fuck, baby,” Shiro whispered before gratefully sucking on his Omega’s fingers, moaning around the taste.
“Move, baby. Show me how much you want to take it,” Keith commanded, a slight waver in his voice betraying how affected he was by Shiro’s display.
Shiro’s knees were already starting to ache against the hardwood floor as he rose and sank, but god he could grind down on his prostate perfectly and he was shaky in less than minute.
“Keith…,” he whined. “It feels so good.”
Keith nodded, biting his lip, and worked his hand along his straining cock. “You look good, baby,” he said breathily. “Wanna taste you.”
Shiro whined again and offered his neck. Keith instantly sank to the floor in front of him.
“Don’t you dare come from this,” he growled, and sank his teeth into Shiro’s gland.
“Fuck!” Shiro cried. He screwed his eyes tight and dug his nails into Keith’s thighs, panting hard as he barely kept himself together. “Keith, you have to--nngh!--stop sucking if you--ahh--don't w-ant me to c-come.”
Keith pulled back. “You don’t get to come until you’re inside me,” he said in a low voice that sent heat curling into Shiro’s gut.
“Keith, baby,” Shiro said, licking his lips, “I’m not gonna be able to hold you like this.”
Keith kissed his cheek. “I know, lovely. I’ve got you. Do you think you can take the knot? Do you need more slick?”
Shiro nodded and Keith kissed him again before maneuvering behind him. Shiro could hear soft whimpers and wet touches as Keith worked up more slick for him. He jolted in surprise as fingers ghosted over his hole. Keith hushed him gently and kissed down his back.
“So good for me,” he murmured. “Look at you--my strong Alpha--taking just what I want him to. You love it, don’t you? You love me watching as you impale yourself.”
“Yes,” he whispered backed.
“You want to take a knot inside yourself. You to be wrecked, loose, and ruined.”
One hand reached up to tease his nipple while the other reapplied slick to the toy’s knot and Shiro shivered as much from the words as the touch.
“Yes, baby, I want that,” Shiro whined.
Keith kissed his neck and circled his arms around him.
“Then sit down.”
Shiro’s breath punched out as he sank down, his body protesting, clenching, and then fuck fuck stretching and fuck it was in him, swallowed and accepted inside himself. Shiro had taken a knot for his Omega.
“Shit, shit, shit,” he gasped.
“Are you okay?” Keith asked in immediate alarm.
Shiro barely managed to nod, breathing hard.
“I can deflate if you need me to,” Keith promised. “Don’t hurt yourself for me.”
Shiro shook his head and took in a lungful for air before letting it out slowly.
“What do you want me to do next?” he asked.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” Keith growled, nipping at Shiro’s neck. “Let me get this toy detached from the base.”
There was a moment of fumbling and then Shiro sagged forward gratefully, relishing the change in pressure on his knees. He let himself be guided back onto the bed.
“Do you want me to ride you or can you fuck me?” Keith asked, weaving his fingers into Shiro’s hair. His expression was a mixture of awe and affection, and Shiro decided he was absolutely going to fuck his Omega to the best of his ability.
Shiro growled low in his throat and then sprang over his mate, using one hand to press him into the mattress and the other to guide himself into Keith’s waiting hole.
“Fuck, fuck yes ,” Keith cried, head lolling back. “Yes, god, take me.”
Shiro slammed in, not waiting for Keith to adjust, and Keith’s legs wrapped tightly around his waist. His mate cried wailing encouragement as Shiro took and took, letting his pleasure swell and crest.
“You’re mine,” Shiro hissed, yanking on Keith’s hips.
“Yes, Alpha, yours,” Keith cried, moans forced out of him. “Shiro--fuck--please god come in me bite me god yes fuck fuck fuck--”
Shiro’s hips stuttered and then he was coming, emptying himself in his Omega, pleasure wrenched from his body as he clenched on the knot and Keith’s ass milked his cock. Barely cognizant, he bit Keith and felt warmth spurting between them and the delicious taste of Keith in his mouth.
“Holy shit,” he trembled, trying and failing not to collapse on his mate.
Keith’s arms cradled him and he kissed down Shiro’s neck. “God that was terrible. Not the sex,” he corrected quickly. “I just don’t have the self-restraint not to touch you.”
Shiro chuckled. “I know what you mean.”
They lay together without moving for several minutes, purring and rumbling in contentment. Keith stirred eventually, patting Shiro’s side, and the Alpha gingerly moved off him.
“Sorry it wasn't me in you,” Keith said. “After we rest a minute I’d be happy to replace the dildo with myself, but I kinda thought what you really like after your rut is to be dominated, not necessarily ridden…?”
“Never apologize for what you just did to me,” Shiro said emphatically. “And yes--I would love it if you fucked me yourself. After all, I’m nice and open and it would be a shame if you didn’t take advantage of it.”
Keith grinned. “Give me ten minutes,” he said.
Shiro smiled back, and gave him five.
A smol chapter to start with, but I wanted to give y’all something as both a “Thanks for making 2018 infinitely better than it would have been” and a “Happy New Year and may Sheith bless you all!” sort of thing. I’m still working on Fishy bois and on Never. I *suspect* Never will update next as 1) S8 still has me salty and 2) there is a good chunk of the next chapter ready to go. I lie constantly about my updates, though, so…. Yeah.
I have a good portion of this fic sketched out, and I’m planning to keep it soft and smutty and cute. Sheith and Plance preggers and in love. <3 Also, the POV will hop about some but I thought it would be fun to see stuff from Shiro’s perspective on a few flashbacks (and I’ve never written ABO from an alpha’s point of view...which now seems vaguely criminal).
And. Yeah. You guys...you guys made this year good for me. I hadn’t written for years and now? 379,651 words published this year, and there’s a good 20k more hiding in various WIPs. That’s insane and amazing and my soul is finally starting to mend. I’ve grown so much as a writer in the past year and arrrgh you guys just don’t know how grateful I am. I 100% wouldn’t be here without your encouragement and thank you SO much.
On season 8 warfront: I made the campaign for a mass fan mail in called “Socks for Voltron” and it has gotten SO much hate. >_< Mostly from antis, but just...wow. It’s so innocent but they have their panties so far up their cracks over it that it makes me wince just watching them. I’m under the impression it is younger fans who don’t about mass mail ins, but damn they hate me. So yeah. A new source of salt for me, yay~ But! I have definitely learned that blocking people is euphoric. It’s not cowardly to decide that I don’t want to keep listening to abuse, you know? Polite reasoning and links to thorough articles didn’t help, so fuck ‘em. Blessed silence. <3333
Anyway~~~ The important thing is I love you guys so much!!!!!! You’ve helped me re-ignite my passion and that is priceless. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Oh!!! And no one is preggers yet. Consider this smutty scene a bonus. :3 Next chapter is when *breeding* things start happening.
In which Shiro reflects on the past and Keith naps a lot.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
“Was that the first time you’ve taken a knot?” Keith asked. It took Shiro a moment to realize Keith was referring to the dildo as it was now two days later and the question had popped up out of nowhere.
“Of course it was,” Shiro said with a laugh. “Who do you think I’ve slept with?”
Keith shrugged and rearranged the food bars on the dresser. He was nearing preheat so they were fixing the nest.
“You told me you’ve dated Alphas,” he explained.
“One Alpha, briefly, and since we weren’t mated or teeangers,” Shiro said, “it was never an issue.”
Keith looked over at him and cocked his head. “‘Issue’ not ‘option’?”
Shiro stopped fussing with the pile of extra sheets. The wording caught him by surprise as well, and he fumbled a few sentences, trying to find a way to explain himself. Keith’s hand slipped into his as his mate came over to nuzzle at him.
“Want to tell me about it?” he asked.
They settled down in the bed--Keith would be starting his preheat nap soon anyway--and Shiro began.
Shiro had been proud to be born an Alpha if for no other reason than that his family was proud of it, too. His sisters and cousins would brag about him, which made him a little uncomfortable, but mostly he was happy that they always came to him when they needed with something. He loved being useful and loved taking care of them. The feeling bled into his dating life--he wanted someone he could look after, so he sought out Omegas. His preference changed after his first rut.
It wasn't that Omegas were necessarily more fragile than other genders, but Shiro couldn’t shake the feeling that he would accidentally hurt one. After that, it was nothing but Betas, Betas, Betas, and all of them expected him to top. Shiro was secretly relieved. It wasn't that he wanted to top that badly, but that was what good Alphas did, wasn't it? They topped and provided knots. Shiro felt guilty about the second part as he couldn’t knot without being mated unless his partner was in heat, but his boyfriends were content.
Content. A content partner was all he needed, until he started dating an Alpha.
In many ways it was the best relationship he’d had. There was a certain ease in knowing he wasn't going to hurt his partner, and since Shiro was a bit submissive in personality, they never ‘competed’ with each other the way some Alpha pairs did. The problem came from sex--Shiro refused to bottom.
“He wasn't upset about bottoming,” Shiro said with a sigh, “but he realized I didn’t trust him enough to bottom for him.”
“Why not?” Keith asked. “Was he not gentle enough in bed or something?”
“No, it was…,” Shiro struggled to find the phrasing. “It was me. I was trying so hard to be a ‘good Alpha’, and when it came down to it, I panicked. It was like I would be admitting just how much of a failure I was because I couldn’t satisfy him with what I’d been doing, and I couldn’t handle that. But then he dumped me,” Shiro said, sighing again, “so I knew I was failure anyway--not as an Alpha, but as a partner. After that, I kind of gave up.”
Keith sat up and took Shiro’s head in his hands and guided him into a gentle kiss. “If you’d given up, we wouldn’t be together. What you did was take a break, and it’s okay to take breaks when you’re tired.”
Shiro smiled, full of almost unbearable fondness for his mate, and he pushed the feeling across their bond as best he could.
“I did give up, sweetheart. You just made me willing to try again,” he said softly. “Now go to sleep. I can feel how tired you are.”
“I’m fine,” Keith insisted.
“Uh huh. How difficult was it to sit up just now?”
Keith grumbled something and sank back under the sheets. For all his protesting, he was asleep in minutes. He was adorable, and Shiro was hopelessly in love. Keith was the perfect mate. Looking back on it, Shiro had longed for him from the moment they’d met. It had made those first few weeks a blissful hell, but some trust, vulnerability, and a little bit of time to grow was all they’d needed to create something beautiful. No matter how stressful the start had been, everything had turned out fine in the end.
Five years earlier
Technically, it wasn’t a lie, Shiro thought as he hung up the phone. He’d just let his work know that the medical appointment he was at was going to take longer than expected, and while he was now done talking to Dr. Allura and the Omega, the next step of his day was to follow up on said meeting, so that counted, right? Close enough.
Shiro drove to the library and selected several volumes on heats, ranging from self-help books to medical journals and decided to purchase some things online as well. And no--no one had asked him to do this, but he owed it to Keith, didn’t he? God, this really was the bottom of the barrel. He’d thought that by making donations, he could help someone with their biology, and now he’d completely screwed over an innocent kid who’d been trying his damnedest just to make it through school.
An innocent, beautiful kid. An innocent, stunning, mouthwatering, honest-to-god drop dead gorgeous kid, and it had literally hurt him just to be touched by Shiro.
Shiro brought his stack of freshly-acquired reading material back to his car, got in, and rested his head on the steering wheel. He should be trying to face this situation as logically as possible, but he couldn’t get the ghost of Keith’s wrist off of his fingers, the hunch of his shoulders out of his mind. He’d clearly been utterly miserable, and all Shiro’s dumb Alpha-brain could do was think about the gap in his scent that just needed to be filled with his own. Bullshit, of course--there was no such thing as scent gap--but that’s what his stupid brain kept insisting. Keith was supposed to smell like him, and the absence of it had almost hurt. And, speaking of hurting, it hurt Keith for Shiro to touch him .
A wave of nausea rose in his stomach and Shiro clenched the steering wheel, gritting his teeth. This was pathetic. Shiro had never been ruled by instincts before--other than during his ruts--and yet his body had screamed at him to lick and suck Keith’s neck the second their eyes met.
He clenched the wheel tighter and had to shift his hips against the strain of his pants. What the hell was he doing? Keith had a specialist working with him. No one needed Shiro to read up on heats, and frankly, shouldn’t he just back away? Hadn’t he done enough damage already? But, the other donors...they were weak; they were weak and the Omega was sick and needed help.
I’m better for him than they are .
Shiro vehemently pushed the thought down. It was hormones. It was all just out of control hormones. Keith hadn’t even liked him. And yet, he had sighed and melted in relief when Shiro had rubbed his wrist. His voice had dropped lower, murmuring how good it felt...
No. He needed to get back to work.
Shiro clicked in his seat belt, turned on the engine, and drove away.
That night, Shiro checked his phone as he got in bed. Two new emails. The first was from Dr. Allura. She’d sent them both a copy of the questionnaire she’d made up and asked Keith to fill it out and Shiro to read it over and suggest other questions if he thought of them. A flood of questions came to mind, all of them inappropriate. He glanced over the questionnaire and couldn’t think of anything (professional) to add and sent a quick note to Dr. Allura. Then he opened the second email.
Wow, okay, wow. Shiro had never thought Keith would forward his answers to him as well, but damn. He had no idea if Keith expected a reply of some kind, and what would he even say?! There was so much personal information here--even sexual acts and partners!
(His inner caveman noticed with satisfaction that Keith was a virgin and did not currently have a boyfriend--no competitors. Shiro smashed the thought immediately and kept reading.)
And then, he got to the end.
“How do you feel about being an Omega?”
“Physically, it’s been really shitty. Socially, half the people I meet treat me like I’m supposed to be one way or another and it’s annoying but whatever. I don’t really care. My family is awesome and my friends are good and if my body would just act vaguely normal, it would all be fine. I’m scared I won’t be able to finish school. I want to be able to support myself. If I can’t get healthy, I’ll have to find a mate whether I like them or not or else just have my parents take care of me and I don’t want to be a knot hole or a burden.
Shiro related so strongly it nearly hurt.
“How do you feel about Alphas?”
“They fucking terrify me. I hate that my body can’t take care of itself without them.”
And that did hurt. It hurt like hell. Shiro had to put down his phone and close his eyes. He hadn’t just hurt Keith; he’d terrified him. He should have known. The Omega’s body language had been a mix of fear, misery, and defiance. Shit, and Keith’s biology demanded he seek relief from Shiro. Apparently he wasn't content to fuck up his own life; no, he had to go and yank someone else down with him.
He smeared away bitter wetness that threatened to fall from his eyes. He didn’t have time to feel sorry for himself. Instead, he picked up a volume from his pile of heat books and began to read. If there was a way for him to help Keith now, he would find it and offer it, no matter what.
In the end, the best solution had been for Shiro to share Keith’s heat, and hadn’t that just been awfully convenient for a certain Alpha and his intense desires? But Matt, Dr. Allura, Keith, and even Keith’s mother had affirmed it was a good idea, so maybe Shiro’s selfish wants were aligned with something helpful for once. It was kind of ridiculous, and Shiro had no idea what he’d done to deserve it, but here he was, licking out Keith’s hole for the first time and discovering Nirvana.
Slick had very little by way of flavor--just a hint of something sweet and spicy--but somehow it had a feeling to it. It was yes and finally and more and had to be what desire tasted like. Shiro had never been with an Omega in heat before, and maybe it’s what all slick was like, but that seemed doubtful. Surely this was as unique to Keith as his scent and smile, and Shiro wanted all of it.
(He was pretty sure he was babbling something to that affect at that very moment, but the less said about his dirty talk, the better.)
Somewhere in Shiro’s hormone-ladened brain, a thought sprang up: Keith liked this. Obviously Heat Keith would like this anyway, but Keith Keith liked this, and that was important. He’d been so reluctant to let his slick out before, but now? Now he was bearing down his muscles to let as much slick as possible flow into Shiro’s hungry mouth. Keith was literally dripping for him. Holy fuck.
Shiro’s eyes rolled back and he licked in deeper. What other delicious pleasures could he help Keith discover? Shiro could hardly wait to find out.
Shiro had tried to hold no hopes for what the week would provide him in terms of sexual gratification. He’d initially been worried about the likelihood of aching and disappointed balls for the entire week, but thankfully nature was merciful: his cock was swift to rise to action, but when the Omega’s interest waned, the erection politely wilted without complaint. Bless you, biology.
And sure, he knew Keith was attracted to him, but the Omega had been relentlessly sick during his previous heats. He hadn’t let himself expect more than to finger and perhaps eat Keith out. Shiro’s favorite part of sex was helping his partner get off, so he had been looking forward to that part of their time together--but something more affection like kissing? A very happy surprise, to say the least.
Kissing Keith had felt like heaven. He was soft and pliant and warm but still eager, opening readily and inviting him in. If Shiro hadn’t already been hard from the innate want brought on by an Omega’s heat hormones, he would have popped up to full mast in short order because Keith’s lips were an addiction he would happily be a slave to, and then Keith had offered to do something else with his lips… Shiro’s cock twitched at the memory of that warm mouth around him.
God, that had been amazing, and even more than the pure pleasure of it all was the knowledge that he’d made Keith feel well enough to reciprocate. It flushed him with pride and contentment. The Omega was sated and affectionate in turn. There could be no better compliment.
And now? Now Keith was miserable again, even if he was too out of it to know.
“M sorry,” the Omega mumbled before rolling to his side and vomiting into the trash can Shiro had wisely left next to the bed. He heaved three more times before rinsing out his mouth with the water Shiro offered him. “Dunno why I do that. Doesn’t help.”
He was asleep again almost immediately, or possibly he had never woken up. Shiro slipped out of bed, rinsed out the trash can, and returned it. It was already the second time Keith had thrown up in the past hour and Shiro was worried. The start had gone so well, what with how long Keith had slept during preheat, and Shiro had been foolish enough to think he’d be able to help the Omega enough to make a difference. At least he went back to sleep easily. That was something.
Foolish, foolish, foolish.
He settled back down around Keith. Hopefully his scent would ease the discomfort, and perhaps it did, because Keith sighed deeply and stopped shuddering.
“I’m so sorry,” Shiro whispered, rubbing his hand down the Omega’s overheated side. He continued to massage Keith’s tensing muscles, worried that he would wake him, but desperate to help all the same. Eventually, Keith relaxed, and Shiro nosed at his neck gland. He smelled wonderful, but there was still the bitter undertone of distress. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
Keith shifted. Shiro’s attempts at calming him again were unsuccessful this time and it wasn't until the smell of slick reached his nose for him that he figured out why: the Omega was trying to get something to rub against his hole.
Shiro hesitated. Keith had given him explicit consent to do whatever he thought was best for the entirety of his heat, but touching him so intimately when he wasn't even awake? That was a bit of a hurdle. God, the way his slick smelled, though… Fuck. Keith was trusting him, which meant Shiro should be touching him like he so clearly needed. He kissed Keith’s shoulder and gently rolled him over.
“You awake, baby? You’re in another wave,” he asked.
Keith whimpered. “Alpha,” he whispered hoarsely, vainly trying to roll himself back into Shiro’s embrace.
“Shh,” Shiro soothed. “I’ve got you.”
He moved his hands down Keith’s body and the Omega cried when Shiro touched his hole. Shit. They’d been doing so well earlier. He leaned in to lick Keith’s gland in apology when he realized there had been shift in scent: Keith wasn't crying pain--he was crying from relief .
Pride swelled in his chest. He had pleased the Omega with only a touch and when he pressed in, the muscle immediately parted for him. He added a second finger moments later and was rewarded by a pleased whine. Keith was squirming on his fingers and whimpering his name and when Shiro bent his neck for him, he lapped at his gland three times--and came.
“Shiro,” he murmured with a soft sigh, and curled into the Alpha, already asleep.
Holy fuck. Keith had just come from the taste of Shiro.
Face red, hands shaking, Shiro put his arms around the Omega, too shocked and embarrassed to do more. He really should clean Keith up, but holy fuck. Holy. Fuck. Keith had been in need, had confirmed it was Shiro helping him, and that was that. The level of trust and desire was blinding. What the hell was Shiro supposed to do with this information?
(Fall in love?)
Nope. No way in hell.
But, he was going to be 100% honest about anything and everything with Keith--maybe not bringing up more than necessary, but by all means being open and upfront with him, because Keith’s trust more than earned Shiro’s vulnerability. The incredible man in his arms deserved nothing less.
Despite having had Omega boyfriends during his teen years, Shiro had never knotted anyone. The roll of hormonal dice had never quite managed it for him, and he’d never been with anyone during a heat as a sexual partner. It had always bothered him a bit--not being able to provide one--but in a way it was nice to having some “special” still waiting to be experienced.
What a hell of an experience.
Keith had been begging for him the whole time, and it had taken every piece of Shiro’s will not to finish immediately. Keith felt so good on his cock, and sure it had been a long time since he’d had a partner, but god, it had never been like this, had it? He was on the edge of coming the entire time but somehow he kept going, filling Keith again and again as the Omega writhed under him, incoherent with pleasure. He fucked Keith through two orgasms, staving off his own solely by listening to his deepest need: to satisfy his Omega.
God, and when Shiro had finished--almost unbearable pleasure flooded him and he came and came and came. He knew that knotting was supposed to be amazing, this was fucking insane. It was bright and writhing in his chest and instead of falling into the after-haze, he became increasingly more alert and aware of every single nerve in his body, and Keith’s ass was still milking him greedily for more. It bypassed pleasure into pain and looped back again.
The rush of his orgasm left him stunned, but he managed not crush Keith and maneuvered them into what his primal brain decided was a safe position. Everything was good. The nest was secure and his partner was safe: he had done well, and he had a satiated Omega purring on his chest to prove it. It was easily the most peaceful and satisfying moment of his life.
Topping it all off was the fact that Keith had explicitly stated that he wanted Shiro to be the one to take his virginity, and he wanted to be fully aware when it happened. He wanted to remember Shiro. God. That was...that was a lot. His inner caveman was shouting a number of suggestions and theories about the whole thing, and there was no way in hell he was going to be able to process this while still saturated in hormones.
In the meantime, he would be knotting Keith as many times he could. Keith wanted it--needed it--and goddamnit, Shiro was a gentleman, and if the Omega asked, who was he to refuse? Takashi Shirogane: purely selfless in all things.
There was something wrong with Keith. He was sluggish and not very responsive, but in fairness that happened a lot during a heat. It should not, however, happen when he was fully impaled and riding an Alpha’s cock.
“Keith?” Shiro asked, slowing his thrusts only slightly. “Are you still with me?”
Keith giggled. “Shhhiii-ro. You smell so good,” he confided, giggling again. “I always wanna be with you.”
“Shit, baby, I always wanna be with you, too,” Shiro admitted. He relaxed some. Keith could still talk, even if he was loopy with hormones.
(Shiro really should not find Keith this cute when he was out of it, but the Omega was acting so happy and he kept telling him silly “secrets”--”Don’t tell anyone, but I really like cats. CATS, Shiro! Cats, like the not dogs? I bet you’ve seen them. Lots of people have seen cats. Pleeease don’t tell anyone.”--and Shiro kind of wished he had recorded it to show Keith later. He would probably turn the most adorable shade of red.)
“You wanna be with me too?” Keith gasped in happy shock. “Ohhh that makes sense. Your penis is in me. Shiro,” he added, voice low, clearly about to reveal another of his secrets, “did you know your penis is inside me right now?”
“I did know that,” Shiro said solemnly, thrusting much slower now and trying to keep from outright laughing.
“Goooood. It’s good. I wanna, I wanna make you feel good, Shiro,” Keith said, suddenly very tired. He leaned into Shiro’s neck and sighed. “I’ve never felt good and you make me feel so good all over my body and I always want more and I wanna be good for you, too.”
Shiro was getting concerned again. Keith was nearly asleep despite being actively fucked while in a wave.
“Keith?” he asked again. “Are you okay?’
“‘M good. Still good,” Keith promised, mouthing lazily at Shiro’s neck.
Shiro pulled Keith back and looked into his eyes. They were unfocused and his breathing was shallow.
“What do you need?” Shiro asked. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
Keith smiled. “I need you,” he said simply.
Shiro couldn’t help but melt under that, even as his worry mounted. He cradled Keith closer and began to pump up into him again. “You’ve got me, Keith,” he said. “Just take what you need.”
Keith hummed happily against his neck and licked at his gland before pressing sucking kisses. God it was amazing. All of it was--a trusting Omega in his arms, rolling on his lap, nipping at his gland.
Nipping. Lightly, but with intent.
A warning bell went off in his head, even as his pleasure mounted. Keith was now taking larger bites, rolling more flesh between his teeth and digging in harder before sucking and releasing. Shiro stopped moving.
“Keith,” he said.
Keith didn’t respond.
For half a heart beat, Shiro hesitated. When he’d asked Krolia for advice on biting, he hadn’t actually considered it a legitimate concern--he’d asked her about everything, down to if he should put underwear back on Keith in between sessions. He’d memorized her answers and even taken notes and he thought he was as prepared as he could be to meet Keith’s every need. There was something he’d overlooked though, something now glaring and obvious and painful. He’d calculated for Keith’s needs, but he hadn’t calculated for his own: down to his marrow, he wanted Keith to bite him.
Swallowing back a sob, Shiro bent his neck in submission and gripped Keith’s arm with his hand. At the last second, he tugged Keith to the side and pulled away.
Keith’s teeth broke the surface of his skin and the Omega went still.
“Keith?” Shiro asked, voice trembling.
Please wake up and be okay. Please, please don’t hate me for this.
The Omega did not respond.
“Keith,” he said firmly.
Keith’s head snapped up. He flung himself backward and scrambled away, red on his lips and terror in his eyes.
“They fucking terrify me.”
Shiro’s heart broke and Keith fled.
Keith had forgiven him. Shiro had fucked up and Keith had spent his wave alone, terrified and vomiting, and still he’d come back to Shiro’s arms and trusted him, let himself be taken back to Shiro’s bed. He’d let Shiro enter him fully--had wanted him to--and Shiro didn’t deserve any of it.
(But oh god he wanted it. He wanted more of Keith. He wanted all of him.)
The heat was almost over. Keith would be leaving him tomorrow, and Shiro was going to be alone again, and it was so fucking selfish but Shiro didn’t want to let him go.
“It’s okay to be selfish with him,” Krolia had told him gently during their Skype call. “He would want you to be.”
Shiro looked down at the Omega nestled against him and his heart ached. He knew. He knew in his gut that this was the only person he would ever want for his mate.
“It’s okay to be selfish.”
No, it really, really wasn't.
“He would want you to be.”
But that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what either of them wanted, because Shiro had failed. Even outside of his rut he had failed, and that was that. What came first was Keith’s safety.
Nothing else mattered.
Shiro woke up gasping. Where was his mate? He had no idea where his mate was and he wasn't okay, he couldn’t be, he was sick, he was always sick, and the other Alphas couldn’t help him and he couldn’t help himself, he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, and--
He knew exactly why he woke up alone.
Shiro buried his face in sheets that no longer smelled like Keith and sobbed.
Shiro had fucked up.
(Of course he had fucked up.)
He’d gone red again and yeah, he’d immediately checked Keith for injuries and he was okay, but that was just his body he hadn’t hurt, and now they could never been mates.
Shiro had fucked up.
(He’d never deserved Keith anyway.)
He sat on the bed, Keith’s phone in his hands, and numbly stared at the screen. What was it Keith had wanted again? He wanted Shiro to watch something...? Going red. He wanted Shiro to watch himself go red.
Well, if that was the penance Keith wanted him to serve, so be it. He pressed play.
Keith’s smiling face light up the phone, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Hi, Regular Shiro! It's me, Keith, and I'm here to introduce you to Red Shiro, who is currently my favorite person in the world. Check out all this soup he got me. Oh, and here is the man himself! What have you got there? Dry pasta? Sounds yummy. Thank you, sweetheart.”
Shiro blinked in surprise. That was him, flushed red and clearly nonverbal, but he was...normal. His posture and stance weren’t aggressive or even tense. He was just trying to understand and please his Omega, bringing him food and pillows and looking like a goddamn idiot, but that was the worst of his crimes.
“Well, I think you get the idea. I don't want to waste battery since I don't think Red Shiro understands what 'I want the charger' means, so I'm powering off for now. I'll keep you updated on any additional shenanigans your wild alter ego gets up to. Love you! See you on the other side,” Keith said, giving the camera kiss.
The scene changed. This time Keith was trying to get water and it took Red Shiro a long time figure anything out. It was painful to watch, but only because the other him was so damn stupid (which Keith had apparently found cute). The scene changed again.
“Hey, take a look at this cute guy I found. He was super grumpy about sitting in the tub with me earlier, but I guess he forgave me. Aww, look at how he’s nuzzling me!”
Red Shiro whined, and Keith immediately comforted him. It was amazing. He didn’t hesitate at all to touch a red Alpha. He was completely unafraid, going so far as to hold him. And what did Red Shiro do in response? He submitted. He exposed his neck and whimpered for a bite.
“Alpha. I can’t. I love you so, so much and I can’t right now. That’s not something you know you’re asking. Just a few more hours, Alpha. A few more hours and I’ll do it. I promise. I want to so badly, oh god Shiro, I love you so much and I know you can’t understand that right now.”
Tears blurred his eyes as the scene changed a final time.
“Hi, Regular Shiro. I hope you’re feeling better, now that you’ve watched the stuff I recorded. You might not believe it, but that’s you. You never tried to bite me. You were gentle and kind and your deepest desire wasn’t to take me, but for me to take you. All you wanted was to love me and have me love you back and I promise I do.”
Shiro paused the video and took a shaky breath. That’s you. He trembled. Your deepest desire wasn't to take me, but for me to take to take you. It was almost worse. It was so, so selfish, wasn't it? Wasn't it selfish for him to want Keith even though he’d failed him so many times? He took another deep breath and watched the rest of the video.
“...You’ve done nothing but take care of me this whole time. The only way this rut ends badly is if you decide it does. I love you so much, Shiro. Please don’t break my heart.”
Shiro was shaking now.
“It’s okay for you to be selfish with him. He would want you to be."
Keith had been strong for him every time he couldn’t be strong enough by himself. Maybe that’s what it meant to be partners. Keith trusted him. Keith had always trusted him. Didn’t that mean he needed to trust Keith back? Maybe he’d been expecting too much of himself, or maybe not, but if this was a partnership, everything needed to go both ways. He would do his damnedest to be someone Keith could rely on, and he would rely on Keith in turn.
Shiro put the phone down, stood up, and went to go kiss his mate.
Shiro could feel through the bond that Keith was in heat now, but since he wasn't in a wave yet, he opted to let his mate sleep a little longer. He was beautiful, curled on his side with a tiny smile, snoring quietly. Shiro’s heart squeezed with an almost painful joy. He loved Keith so damn much, and there was a never a day that he doubted Keith loved him, too. He probably still didn’t deserve Keith; he probably never would. That was okay, though. They were partners, and that was all that mattered.
In case you don’t remember ALL details from The Hungry Chain (lol), Keith thinks he didn’t throw up at the start of his heat. Poor boy. He was too out of it to remember.
Shiro is overwhelmed by Keith’s trust. He is constantly vulnerable, and Shiro longs to be worthy of his trust. He wants to be someone who is safe for Keith and every ounce of trust Keith gives him compounds his desire to be a better person, and to be near him. He falls in love with Keith so quickly because he finds himself able to relax and just be. It’s like breathing fresh air for the first time in years. He’s seen Keith fight and he believes in his strength and he wants to believe in the version of himself Keith sees. A lot of that happens post the heat when they first start dating, but it definitely originated in the heat.
Btw, I thought it was very important to include that in my ABO world, Alphas aren’t constantly blue balled during heats. Can you imagine?! Poor things. Also: Omegas in heat that have a blood relative Alpha present (and no unrelated ones) have a much lower sex drive for the duration of the heat. Shiro had not expected to have that much sex, lol! Lucky him. Plus, he thought Keith would be too sick to want sex during every wave. Ho boy. Nope. Keef loves your beef.
Alphas are alert during/after knots as sort of defense mechanism since the Omega is totally blissed out, btw. Makes the orgasms a different kind of insane, which is a nice plus. ;)
I’ve had requests to tell certain scenes from Shiro’s perspective pretty much since the start of the first story, so it’s been fun to fulfill those. ^_^ But I also got tired of writing this chapter because I wanted to get to their happy future. XD SHIRO HE LOVES YOU IT’S OKAY. Meanwhile, Shiro is like: I am trash and Keith is god’s gift to mankind. Keith: Him B I G. Must f u c k. MuST C uD Dle.
Next chapter is breeding kink and lots of heat smut. :3333 Time for me to be super indulgent!!! Also, there will some angst in the coming chapters, but it will be light. Gotta build up some tension for the sake of storytelling, but other than this blast-from-the-sad-past, it’s pretty much Fluff and Smut from here on out. :3