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A Cure I Know That Soothes The Soul, Does So Impossibly.

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“Jesus dude, what did you do?” Lance guffawed.

“You should look at the other guy” Keith laughed, wincing at his bust lip. “Actually, I have Shiro here to thank it’s not worse.” He replied, motioning behind him at Shiro as he sat down on the bar stool next to Lance. 

Lance turned around to thank Shiro, but when he saw him all he did was squeak at his towering size and frankly unholy arms. He whipped his head back around to Keith and whisper yelled, much to loud for Keith’s comfort, “Dude, how the fuck did you get Adonis over here to save your mullet wearing rat’s ass?” 

Keith spluttered, as Shiro blushed, making the scar tissue on his nose stand out. 

“Shut up” Keith mumbled as he playfully, but strongly, shoved Lance off his barstool which, just so happened to have an uneven leg. Pidge swears she wasn’t involved in anything, Keith doesn’t believe her, especially since her stool seems a few inches higher than everyone else’s. 

Lance brought his hand to his forehead in dramatics, like a damsel in distress. “Oh won’t my Hercules come and save me?” 

Hunk snorted from behind the bar. “Your Hercules is busy not existing, now come back here and help me.” 

Lance huffed, and got off the floor pouting. Shiro awkwardly inched his was to a seat beside Keith, before he realised he was now in between both Keith on his left, and Cosmo on his right. 

Lance then draped his armed on Keith’s back, and stage whispered to him

“You know, I am the one in charge of the set list tonight, and I know a few songs in particular you aren’t gonna want to sing tonight, Keithy” He then patted him on the back and playfully winked at Shiro, which caused the large man to blush. 

Keith groaned and hit his head against the bar table, muttering. 

Shiro signalled for two beers, and pushed one to Keith. He lifted his head off the bar table and took a generous gulp of the drink. “I thought I was gonna buy you a drink?” He chuckled. 

Shiro hummed in agreement. “You looked like you needed it, and you still can buy me one of you want. Doesn’t have to be today though” he added with a smile. Before Keith could recover, Shiro continued. “So, you’re a performer too? What was Lance talking about?” 

Keith made a noise between a groan and a curse, and put down his drink. “Yeah, my band and I play here a lot. Pays well, and Hunk likes the extra cash flow on top of the bar. And as for that, I have a playlist of songs I like that are... a bit on the explicit side, and not something I’m pushing to preform” He grimaced.

Shiro laughed into his drink. “How explicit are we talking?”

“One song is called ‘He Whipped my Ass in Tennis (Then I Fucked His Ass in Bed)” Keith deadpanned.

Shiro spluttered, nearly coughing out his mouthful of beer, and had seemed to gone very red. 

Oh, t-that’s um, yeah, that’s ah, a lot, I guess” he stumbled out sheepishly.

Keith continued, explained that Lance had discovered this playlist, and, to spite Keith for blackmail purposes, had gotten Hunk and Pidge along with him to learn each and every one, in case the situation arose that they decided to revolt against their lead singer. 

“Lance usually picks the Tennis one, because there’s a ‘yeehaw’ at the start and he likes poking fun at my Texas side, but I hope to the gods it’s something different this time.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. “You’re from Texas? I used to work on farms a lot in Tennessee a while back.”

Keith laughed hard at that. “Oh man don’t tell that to Lance, you’ll be getting pick up lines all night.”

He took the last sip of his beer and muttered slowly while getting up “although I think you get a lot of pick up lines anyway. 

Shiro’s face flushed a deep pink, and hid his smile in the neck of his beer bottle.

“I have to go um, preform but maybe I’ll see you after our set? I still owe you another drink” Keith, feeling uncharacteristically shy, put his hand behind his head and ran his fingers through the back of his dark hair. 

Shiro wondered how Keith could go from confident fluttery pick up lines to a blushing mess, but whatever it was it was incredibly endearing. 

“Definitely. I have to stay for whatever song Lance has in store for you anyway” Shiro grinned. 

Keith groaned at that, and told Shiro where Hunk kept the spare paracetamol if he needed it before walking backstage. 





When Keith arrived backstage to the snickering of his bandmates, and his brother, he knew something was up. 

“Here, it’s the new set list Lance devised.” Cosmo giggled, handing him a sheet of paper. 

“Don’t worry, you know all the words and cords, he just added a few songs that um, fit into a certain situation that happened today”.Cosmo was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. The little shit had become best friends with Lance and Pidge, bonding over pranks being pulled on Keith. 

All the colour drained out of Keith’s face, he knew what songs were on that playlist, and the tempo of some of them. The ‘Garrison’ club wasn’t exactly a gay bar strictly, but it did participate in the pride parade every year, and most of the customers were definitely queer of some description. 

This was going to be embarrassing. Especially now that Shiro was going to be actively listening to him. 

Lance swayed up to Keith, and patted him on the shoulder. “Remember, if you don’t preform, I still have those pictures of 13 year old Keith. I’m sure Shiro would love to see you with braces, among other things.” He smirked. Keith was going to have to pull some favours with Matt or Pidge, he knew Lance had some cringe childhood pictures somewhere. 

He opened up the folded piece of paper, and groaned. This was gonna suck. 

He looked over to the bar, signalling hunk that they were going on so he could give the bar to his coworker Allura. Keith quickly told him of the changes to the set, adding that Lance and Pidge had lost their open bar privileges for committing mutiny, and walked on stage. 

As much as he disliked Pidge for her treachery, he had to admit she was really good with stage lighting and effects. 

The stage was lit a deep red, with the smoke machine on the lowest setting, as to create a spooky atmosphere, but not choke out Keith or anyone standing in the front row. 

They did sound checks, and Keith took the time to quickly tell the audience how his band was blackmailing him, and that considering the fight that had occurred, they decided to go the extra mile of queer, out of spite. That got a laugh from the audience, and Keith began feeling more confident in his set list. 

He signalled to Pidge that everything was ready, and she began to count them in, banging her drum sticks together in four sharp taps. ‘Here goes nothing’ thought Keith, and began singing the first song. 


 “You'll probably get sweaters

Underwear and socks

But what you'd really like for Christmas

Is a nice hard cock

You deserve a cute boy

Who's horny and queer

To make the most out

Of Christmas cheer”


Keith looked over at the bar, to see Shiro wide eyed and blushing profusely. The audience seemed to be loving it, laughing at the lyrics. Keith was suddenly very thankful that his bandmates had only put on three or four songs onto the set list, he didn’t think he could manage doing a whole two hours like this. 


“Have a Homo Christmas this year!”


That line always got a laugh, and the audience seemed really into the song. Keith miles, feeling cocky and confident. ‘Fuck it’ he decided. All or nothing was practically his motto and he’d be damned if he didn’t give his his all. Maybe some god would take an interest in his enthusiasm and delete the blackmail from Lance’s grip. 


“We’ll push the packages out of the way, 

And after you’ve unwrapped me

Naked on the floor we'll play

I wanna be your Christmas present

I wanna be your Christmas queer

I wanna be your Cristmas present

Have a homo Christmas this year!”


At his point, Keith - with the encouragement or his bandmates,- had jumped off the small stage, and was walking (gay-ly) around the bar patrons, over accentuating each line. He took a quick glance at Shiro, who was pressing his beer bottle to his leg. Keith noticed his blush hadn’t gone down, and he smirked. Never mind how big that guy was, he seemed to fluster easy, and Keith was definitely gonna use that information. 


“But let me give you

Sexual nourishment

Licking nipples

Licking nuts

Putting candy canes

Up each other's butts

I wanna be your Christmas present

I wanna be your Christmas queer!”


By this point, Keith had made his way behind the bar, and was standing on the counter top. Over the years, Lance had repeatedly told him he radiated “Power Bottom Twink Energy.” Keith didn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know if any of that was based in truth, but he concluded that if that energy was true, he might as well take advantage of it, swaying his hips in time with the beat and over-exaggerating suggestive expressions, most of which were un-subtly aimed at Shiro, who as conveniently sitting directly underneath/ in front of Keith, looking very nervous, and still clutching at his beer that was presses to the man’s inner thigh. 

‘Wouldn’t mind being that beer’ Keith’s never ending intrusive inner monologue unhelpfully quipped. He finished the song without a hitch, and looked apologetically at Shiro.

Before he jumped back on stage, Keith hopped off the bar top. “Sorry if I got too close there, most straight dudes wouldn’t exactly like that..” 

Before Shiro could even think of a response, Keith was back on stage, drinking a bottle of water (and looking much too hot while doing it). 

Shiro groaned internally. He was so fucked over this hot boy. Now, all he needed was his hard on to go down.