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It's all Levi's Fault

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The avengers were gathered with their friends for their promised movie night. It was something they had done before the civil war and having returned home after the defeat of Thanos they thought it a safe enough activity to start bonding over. Clint sat far away from Loki, Loki was kept away from Strange, Bruce huddled next to Thor to stay away from Natasha, Steve tried to get Bucky to sit next to him but the assassin had taken the loveseat he would only share with Toni and Levi(aka Strange’s sentient cloak that had the biggest crush on the genius), and Sam took the seat next to Steve because he just wanted his super soldier crush to notice him. The others were sitting around the TV ready for the movie with the only one they were waiting on was Toni. Her entrance was as spectacular as always as she stormed in looking tired and worn out though not in the ‘I’ve been in my workshop for the past week without sleep and only caffeine and spite keeping me alive’ type of way. It was most the ‘I’m pissed and the world will drown in my rage’ type of worn and it was never good when she was like that.

You!” She snarled(honest to god snarled and it was frightening or sexy depended on who you asked) as she pointed at Levi.

The cloak moved titling its collar that was similar to a cat titling its head. Levi seemed confused by the rage directed at him. He flew over to Toni wrapping her up trying to calm her rage(which worked weirdly because she and the cloak had some borderline romantic/platonic relationship going on but no one talked about it because it upset Stephan’s poor sensitivities). She relaxed in the cloak’s hold before he released her with one last rub against the side of her face like offering a kiss.

“So why are you angry with my cloak?” Stephen asked no doubt going to regret doing so(he often did and still hadn’t learned, so much for being a genius doctor).

“Levi put a baby in me, that’s why” Toni snapped causing the room to fall into stunned silence(except for the sound of texting happening from Peter’s phone likely telling Shuri because they were both gossips and T’Challa hadn’t managed to keep the two separated).

“Ms. Stark not to put into question your genius but I do not believe Levi has…the required parts to do so.” T’Challa finally broke the silence trying to be as polite as possible.

“I haven’t sleep with anyone but this bastard right here in the last year and I’ve taken twenty pregnancy tests to be sure. Either there’s a ghost that got freaky with me without my permission or Levi here did some shady shit.”

“I’ll kill the ghost.” Bucky snarled earning a grateful smile from Toni.

“Thanks Murder Kitty, you’re officially my favorite.” She blew him a kiss making Bucky smile with a slight blush.

“Toni I’m a doctor, I can promise you my cloak did not get you pregnant.” Stephan said which caused Levi to fly over to him and slap him across the face before returning to Toni and holding her while rubbing her stomach.

“Oh I do look forward to the day you deliver; I hope someone is willing to take a wager with me on the other parent.” Loki spoke up earning the attention of the room.

“What are you talking about?” Natasha asked.

Loki looked at them with a knowing look and that mischievous smirk that meant nothing good.

“Well I suppose it makes sense Strange did not have the proper talk with Lady Toni seeing as he’s an amateur sorcerer. Magical artifacts made sentient can in fact take a small amount of magical energy from someone with a natural infinity for it in order to produce a child with their lovers. To enter into a relationship with sentient magical artifacts is not in fact odd in most worlds plentiful with magic users. So yes, the Lady Antonia is with child. So if anyone is up to make a wager let me know.”

More silence followed that before Stephan stood.

“I need to look into this matter.” He glared at Levi. “Did you take my energy for this?”

Levi ignored the accusing tone of his master and instead remained focused on Toni.

“Don’t ignore me. There’s only myself and Loki as options for magical energy from.”

Loki snickered earning another round of stares.

“Oh you are a fool wizard.” Was all Loki said.

“I think we should take bets.” Natasha finally spoke up.

“My money’s on Loki.” Clint said surprising everyone but just shrugged. “Crazy goes with crazy, you think the cloak didn’t match them up to have a kid?”

Toni turned and left with Levi attached to her while the others began taking bets. When they next saw the genius it was early in the morning and she looked ill.

“Stupid morning sickness. Whichever one of you is responsible for this will suffer my wrath after I’ve popped out this kid.”

Bucky walked over rubbing her back earning a soft satisfied sound. Bucky was officially her favorite, everyone else could go fuck off and die. T’Challa walked over with a steaming cup of something obviously from Wakanda as no one could recognize it.

“Here, this shall help settle your stomach. My mother used this when she was with child and has assured me it will help.”

She accepted the drink from T’Challa and hummed at the taste. It was sweet like him and she officially added him to the list of people she wouldn’t maim due to pregnancy hormones.

“Second favorite, I’m keeping you.” She said as she huddled around the drink afraid someone might take it.

“I hope I’ve got first spot as your favorite Doll.” Bucky said still rubbing her back which was working to put her to sleep.

“Totally first favorite.” She hummed as her eyes drifted close.

“You cannot rest yet Lady Antonia, you must eat first to keep up your strength both yourself and your young.” Thor said presenting her a plate of food that smelled heavenly.

“Keeping you to, everyone else can fuck off.” She mumbled.

“I helped cook your breakfast.” Loki said popping into the room with an amused smile.

“Ok, I’m keeping you to but only because I need the secrets of your hair products. Your hair shouldn’t be that soft and I’m jealous.”

The others began shuffling into the room and the moment Stephan appeared Levi detached himself from him to fly over to Toni. The cloak wrapped possessively around her and refused to leave her side.

It became a bit of a routine from there. Breakfast, smoothing tea, and backrubs with a side of cuddles from the weird cloak. Sure things began to mend from the divide caused by the Accords but many were still not all that welcome around the genius. Bruce was very protective of his science buddy, Loki openly glared at Wanda, Levi smacked Steve away any time he tried to get close, Natasha had lost whatever budding relationship she’d had with Bruce because of her forcing him to transform, and Rhodey just flat out hated Steve and his group. Trying to repair the fractures in their team was slow going and now with Toni’s apparently magical pregnant state that slow going had turned into a barely there crawl. The only upside was the bet currently going on had at least given them all something to focus on and enjoy. Loki and Thor were the only ones keeping their bet secret until the day of delivery. Bruce was staying out of the wager only because he was helping as Toni’s doctor because she didn’t trust anyone else to do it. She had already made arrangements with Thor’s and Loki’s mom Frigga to help with the delivery. She and Asgard had been restored with the stones after Thanos’s defeat and with Toni the main reason for the titan’s demise she was highly praised in the realm eternal.

As the months went by no one saw how big Toni was getting because she’d made Strange cast a glamour on her to hide it from everyone else. She didn’t want anyone of questionable intentions to catch wind of her pregnancy which made sense to everyone seeing as she’d made many enemies through the years and how many would want to get their hands on a kid with her genius and possible magical potential. It didn’t stop them from seeing her waddle around as she grew bigger as the pregnancy progressed. Sam and Scott had made a joke about it once and only once. Toni didn’t know who did it but both had been hanging upside down outside the compound for an hour for their poor decision. It had sent a message to the rest of them and made her very happy.

Steve had tried to offer some foot rubs when she complained about her aching feet but had been slapped silly by Levi before T’Challa had led her to a couch where he began massaging her feet. She could have turned into a puddle of happy genius goodness right there. His hands were very skillful. She started dozing off as he helped her in lessening all the aching in her poor feet that weren’t made for this pregnant craziness. He only stopped when his sister arrived. Shuri was weirdly excited for the coming baby and exclaimed as much every time she visited. Apparently Shuri had a crush on Toni that was no secret to anyone, something about wanting to bear her brain babies or something. They would have some pretty smart kids if it was even possible. Toni could admit she would bear all of Shuri’s babies if they were even half as smart as her, they’d be cute as fuck to.

“So what’s the voting count so far?” She asked one night after they’d eaten dinner and Levi had reluctantly allowed Stephan to drag him away back to the sanctum.

“So far there’s a majority of people thinking it’s going to be the doc’s.” Peter answered earning a laugh from Toni.

“Well, I hope they’re all surprised by the result.” She said.

“Do you already know who the dad is?” Peter asked hopefully.

Toni gave him a look seeing him quickly look away blushing. Apparently it was normal for the genius next generation to have crushes on her. Sure Peter was legal age but he was young. He deserved to find a nice girl that would treat him right and wasn’t damaged goods. Plus she was too old for him and thanks to a meddling cloak already had a bun in the oven.

“No idea but the kid is going to be adorable and loved by everyone because the little magical bastard is mine.”

“Oh…I mean the kid won’t actually be seen as a bastard right? Just because you’re not married? That’s kind of messed up.”

“Well I don’t see anyone putting a ring on it so you know.” She said with a shrug. “But if anyone tries to call my little magical buddle of joy a bastard I have a wizard on speed dial to send them to the dark dimension, two gods that will smite them, two royal family members with diplomatic immunity who can get away with murder if needed, a reporter with a parasite willing to eat people, and a super powered suit of armor able to be used by my protective AI. I think I’ve got things covered.”

There was a moment of silence before Peter spoke up again.

“You’re friends with Eddie and Venom?”

“Those two flirt with me on a daily basis so yes. We’re weird friends Peter, never judge my choices. That right is reserved for Rhodey alone and he already approves because Venom offered to eat Rogers.”

“What?” Came the exclaim of said super soldier but Toni ignored him.

Steve kept his distance after that clearly not wanting to risk being eaten. Toni had to laugh seeing as she’d already told Venom not to eat him (mostly because America would weep and she didn’t need that on her conscience). Everyone else was growing more excited for the coming due date while Toni had begun staying in her room refusing to leave. The avengers that were strictly team Stark which included Thor, Loki, Bruce, Rhodey, Pepper, Bucky(surprise surprise on that one but Toni still accepted him onto her team because Steve could suck it) Peter, T’Challa, Shuri, and Vision were allowed into her room to help her with things she needed. If not helping her they were spending time with her because she was bored to tears without her workshop. She had become so desperate for her workshop she’d begun waxing poetry to it. Something the geniuses of team Stark found hilarious and earned most of them a pillow to the face. On one of her more miserable days missing her workshop when everyone was too busy to come see her she’d found a handpicked buddle of flowers with a note from Venom saying he promised not to eat her babies. She’d smiled at the gift and made a mental note to find a terrorist cell that he could just pig out on. Who was she to judge him for his eating habits?

Nine grueling months and finally she was ready to pop out this kid. Frigga had swept into the compound with an air of royalty that outshined all the other members of royal families currently in the compound eager to greet the mini genius into the world.

“Oh my god you have no idea how ready I am to have this kid out of me.” She said when Frigga entered the medical wing that had been set up for this exact reason.

Frigga had been using her magic to examine her while Levi hoovered nearby protectively.

“Oh sweetie, you’re carrying more than one child. Did your healer not inform you of this?”

She shot a murderous glare to Levi.

“What have you done?” She hissed at him.

Levi fluttered around looking damn proud of himself. Toni’s scream of rage could be heard throughout the country or at least that’s what Fury swore when he heard it on the other side of the country wondering what the hell was happening. Levi the brave foolish bastard stayed even when Toni got her hands on some daggers likely left by Loki.

“I will shred you for this. Just how many kids did you knock me up with?”

Frigga looked between her and the cloak.

“Oh no wonder I sense such powerful magical energy. You’re children are quite strong.”

Toni looked at her struggling to rein in her anger.

“How many?”

The answer was followed by a stream of screamed curses that had Fury swearing a blue streak of his own and hopping on a jet headed for New York, he had some avengers to neuter.




“Is the kid healthy?” Steve asked when Frigga left the medical suite.

Frigga smiled.

“The babies are all healthy.”

“Babies? Scott asked sounding shocked.

“Oh yes, it seems Levi took several samples of magical energy from several here. She has birthed a healthy litter of magical children.”

T’Challa twitched at the use of word litter.

“And you say it’s a litter because…?”

“I thought it fitting with the number of children and the fact two are of a feline orientation.”

Shuri squealed in excitement as she ran forward to meet the babies. The others rushed into the massive medical suite that had been designed for them all being there because Toni was a genius and had foreseen this very situation.

“I am not doing this alone. You’re all going to help me.” Toni said looking exhausted where she was lying in bed with her babies lying together either with her or on a second bed.

“They’re so cute.” Shuri did her best to squeal quietly.

“H-how?” Steve asked seeing not one or two babies but eight.

Toni’s only answer was the glare she sent towards Levi who was fluttering around excitedly. Thor moved closer seeing a blonde baby that drew his attention. When he reached out for her a spark was seen between them before she latched onto her hand.

“She is mine. Levi used my magical energy.”

Shuri was holding a baby with ears and tail similar to that of a cat.

“And here I thought I’d have to find a way to let science have you bear my children. She is the cutest baby of them all.”

The little mocha colored baby was sleeping peacefully in Shuri’s arms like she knew her other mama.

“But you do not have magic.” T’Challa protested weakly because this was his baby sister who apparently now had a baby.

“She possesses a magical core just as you do T’Challa.” Loki answered moving closer to Toni’s bed where she had a small blue form within her arms. “This little one must be mine.”

The spark between them was answer enough. T’Challa looks at the other child with light chocolate skin that has a matching pair of ears and tail to the baby Shuri held. He moved closer and reached out earning a spark of his own marking him as the child’s father.

“What about the others? Is there…is there one that’s mine?” Bucky asked uncertain.

“Well there’s a baby with a murder stare and fluffy ears like a wolf. If I had to guess by the white of them he’s yours White Wolf.” Toni said drawing Bucky closer to where there was a boy with a head full of white hair with ears and tail to match.

“Can I name him?” Bucky asked picking up the boy that did in fact have his own resting murder face but clung to Bucky all the same.

“Knock yourself out. I thought I was only having one kid so you know, only half one boy name and girl name picked out.”


Toni looked at Bruce and pointed to the larger infant with green skin sleeping curled around a spider/human hybrid.

“Brucie go pick up your child and Peter so help me god if you tell Aunt May I will burn this world. There are only two people in this world I fear whole heartedly, Pepper and May.”

“Fire does solve problems.” Loki agreed as he held his little one.

“What the hell? What’s wrong with that one?” Sam asked and proceeded to slapped by Levi and then tossed aside by Venom who had decided to make an appearance.

“Nothing’s wrong with her, she’s a beautiful baby girl and if you ever insult my children again there will be no stone in existence that will undo what I do to you.” Toni threatened as she held the baby girl with pure white eyes and a set of sharp threatening teeth.

“Awe, she has our eyes.” Venom cooed causing various people to slowly back out of the room.

“I know right, she has my cuteness though.” Toni said also cooing at the baby.

“Well at least there isn’t one that’s mine. Maybe next time you and my cloak decide to do anything you will use protection.” Strange said earning a slap to the face from Levi.

“If he knocks me up again I’m shredding him and burning the remains.” Toni warned as the door to the medical room slammed open to reveal Fury holding a pair of massive sharp scissors.

“Oh hell no, everyone’s getting neuter right the fuck now.”

No one moved for a moment before Venom motioned to himself.

“I do not have a penis.”

Fury’s single eye narrowed.

“Neutering all you motherfuckers right now.” He opened and closed the scissors as though to prove his point. It wasn’t until he went after Bruce who transformed into the Hulk did they all run away fearing for their manhood.

“Men.” Toni said rolling her eyes while Shuri continued to coo at her magical brain child with her fellow genius.

Levi just rubbed against Toni looking like a content cat. Toni made a mental note to find out what kind of magical birth control she needed in the future. Eight kids was more than enough, she didn’t need another magical accident happening.