Louis felt like shit. He felt the dried tears on his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes. His lips were bitten raw and his heart was heavy.
He had maxed out Zayn’s credit card; the flight back to England, the one bedroom flat, the little furniture he purchased, and the two days straight of drinking cost a lot.
Louis rubbed at his eyes, bottom lip quivering. He missed Zayn, but he didn’t have the courage to face the Dom.
Zayn hurt him. He knew about the disappointment and depression Louis’ entire life had put him through, but he still took advantage of the older lad’s headspace.
Louis curled into himself, starting to sob loudly. His entire body shook. He wanted the pain to end. He needed it to. He turned his head to the pillow and screamed into it.
He sat up and forced himself off the bed, trudging to the bathroom. He reached into the cupboard and with a shaky hand, pulled two pill bottles down.
He stared at them, tears streaming down his face so fast he was nearly choking on them. His entire life added up to loss, pain, and depression; it would be better just to end it all.
He unscrewed the lid, feeling determination etched in his being. He poured all the pills from the first bottle onto the counter and left the room, getting a glass. He filled it with water, the clear liquid sloshing over the edge.
Every fucking time something good happened to him, it got taken away and he was left in more pain then ever before. He couldn’t live like this; not with the knowledge that the next time he held okay, everything he held dear would be ripped from his grasp.
Zayn fucking Javadd Malik was the first person to love Louis in years. He broke the older lad’s heart and know he’d have to deal with that on his conscious. It wasn’t Louis’ problem anymore though; he wouldn’t be around much longer.
Fuck Zayn, fuck Gigi, fuck Louis’ parents, fuck everyone who’s ever hurt him. Louis padded back to the bathroom, the realization of what he was going to do hitting him. The scary thing was, the thought of death brought immense relief.
Louis scooped up the pills from the dusty countertop and shovelled them into his mouth. He downed the water and swallowed as many pills as he could.
He closed his eyes and sat down, waiting for them to kick in, to stop his battered and bruised heart.
He waited for a few minutes and panic hit him just as the pills did. He shakily crawled to his bed and reached for his phone, dialling 999.
The operator spoke calmly, just as numbness hit Louis for the first time in two days. “Hello, what’s your emergency?”
Louis shakily gripped the bed and listed off his his address. “Come please. I took so many...too many.”
Darkness hit Louis and utter numbness ebbed his pure pain.
Zayn had avoided everyone for two days, until Liam stormed into his room. “I don’t fucking know what’s going on with you and Lou, but he’s in the hospital.”
Zayn’s sight spun and his eyes widened, the worst images possible flashing before his eyes. “W-why...?”
Liam refused to meet his gaze. “He ODed. They think he was trying to commit suicide.”