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Stan runs into the kitchen, going straight to the cabinet. He quickly opens it and grabs two bags of chips. His and Kyle’s favorite chips. He runs out of the kitchen and into the living room. He places the two bags of chips on the coffee table and goes back into the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator, grabbing cans of his and Kyle’s favorite drinks. A Pepsi and a Dr. Pep-per. He quickly runs, once again, into the living room. He places the cans on the table. He flops back into the couch. A minute or two later the doorbell rings. Stan looks at the door with glee. He jumps off the couch and heads towards the door. He opens his front door to reveal Kyle Broflovski.

“Hey dude!”

“Hey Stan. Are you ready for the Terrance and Phillip marathon?”

“Of course.”

Kyle moves into the house and Stan shuts the door. Stan watches as Kyle immediately makes himself at home on the couch. Stan plops right down next to him.

“Dude, you got the whole set up didn’t you?”

Kyle gestures at the chips and cans.

“What kind of super best friend would I be if I didn’t have anything ready for when you came over?” Stan asks the rhetorical question.

Kyle rolls his eyes but smiles.

“A lame one. That’s for sure. But really dude. Thanks for going out of your way to get the chips and Dr. Pep-per.”

Stan smiles back at his friend. Stan actually keeps a stash of Dr. Pep-per and chips for Kyle for whenever he comes over. But Kyle didn’t need to know that.

“Wouldn’t want a lame super best friend, right?” Stan says with a playful smirk.

Kyle just nudges Stan’s shoulder. 

“Like you could ever be lame. Even if you were lame, I’d still be your super best friend.” Kyle mutters.

Stan just beams at Kyle’s confession.

“Awe, Ky.” Stan goes to hug Kyle but Kyle quickly sticks out a hand. Preventing Stan on getting any closer.

“Hey it’s four. The marathon is starting.” Kyle informs Stan.

Stan stops his hugging attempt in favor of reaching for the remote. He turns on the television and quickly turns it to the correct channel.

“Now, it’s time for Terrance and Phillip’s marathon!” The television shouts.

“Dude, this is going to be so great.” Kyle says with his full attention on the television 


As the marathon plays on, Stan can’t help but think about Terrance and Phillip’s friendship. Those men have been through so much. Just like Kyle and himself. Stan and Kyle have gone through so much. From Pre-K to Fourth Grade. They have been in so many adventures, and here they are. Super Best Friends. Stan could remember the day him and Kyle became super best friends.




Stan and Kyle walk down the street. Enjoying the ice cream that they recently bought. Stan bought a mint green ice cream while Kyle bought a strawberry cone. However, as they are walking, they see a crowd of people. Stan turns to Kyle.

“What do you think is happening?”

Kyle looks at Stan.

“I don’t know, but let’s check it out.”

They push their way through the crowd. Effectively gaining a spot at the front. Which just so happens to be next to Kenny and Butters.

“What’s going on?” Stan asks.

Butters turns towards Stan and Kyle.

“This feller, David Blaine, he’s doing magic tricks. Hey, where’d you get that ice cream?”

Stan turns to watch the magician. Amazed at the trick that the magician just pulled. 

“Who’s this asshole?” A familiar voice says.

Stan doesn’t even need to take his eyes off the magician to know that the voice is Cartman’s.

Kyle answers Cartman all the while a new contender is called forth by the magician. His Uncle Jimbo. Unfortunately, as the trick is playing out, Stan has to watch his uncle stick his hand up his ass. Stan cringes a bit when Jimbo pulls out a card. It was the card that Jimbo was thinking of. The two of diamonds. 

“Thank you. I’ve been travelling from town to town for quite a while. I started quite a following. Mostly because of my levitation trick. Ahh, watch, watch.”

David Blaine closes his eyes and slowly lifts his hands. As he does this, his feet slowly rise from the ground. Everyone in the crowd gasps in amazement.

“No way.” Stan shouts in excitement.

“Damn. That guy is the coolest guy in the universe.” Kyle says as he looks at Stan.

Stan smiles at Kyle and Kyle smiles back at him.

“Here you go kids. Take a pamphlet.” Suddenly, an arm reaches down, in between Stan and Kyle. Kyle takes the pamphlet from the man.

“David Blaine workshop.” Kyle reads. “Learn all about David Blaine at the center for magic. Dude we got to go.”

“Yeah, they’ll probably teach you magic tricks.”




“Hello everyone, my name is Steven and I have been a Blainetologist for three years. So when David Blaine performed his miracles out of the street. What moved you the most?”

Stan looks confusedly at Steven.

“His miracles?”

“Oh yes. You see, David Blaine is much more than a magician. He’s a scholar, a visionary, a leader.”

Cartman speaks up, “When are we gonna learn magic tricks?”

“Yeah.” Stan agrees.

“Oh, I’ve got a trick for you to learn. I can show you how to make your true self appear. Let me ask you all something. Do you consider yourself happy?”

“I don’t think I’m very happy. I-I always fall asleep to the sounds of my own screams.” Butters answers. Stan looks to the boy sitting next to him.

Stan turns back to Steven. The leading speaker hesitates to respond.

“R-Right. You see the reason you are-” Butters cuts Steven off.

“And then I always get woken up in the morning by the sounds of my screams.” Stan looks at Butters, but Butters turns to Kyle. “Do you think I’m unhappy?”

Stan watches as Kyle sits there. Not knowing how to respond to Butters’ question.

“Wah, Th-Th-The point is. That you can be happy. You see that your friends and parents programmed you in a way that makes you feel isolated and alone. How many times have you felt like nobody knows the real you. You’re not really happy. Your potential hasn’t even been reached. If you look through David Blaine’s incredible book, you’ll find a lot of life’s answers. Let’s read some of the book together, shall we?”

Stan rolls his eyes and looks over Butters and at Kyle. However, Kyle wasn’t looking at Stan. The ginger’s eyes widen and Stan watches as Kyle inches to the edge of his seat. Stan looks at Kyle’s face as sees the boy with the green ushanka face lit up in amazement. Suddenly, Stan gets a bad feeling.




“Dude, dude, we have to go to that camp together." 

“I don’t know Kyle.”

“Come on dude. It’s going to be great.” 

“Fine. I’ll go since you’re going.”



Stan did not like going bald for this weirdo magician camp.




“Congratulations young Blainetologists. From this day forward, you are cleaned. Now we have very important work to do.” Steven preaches. “David Blaine is going to put on a big magic show in Denver tomorrow night. Where he is going to eat his own head.” 

The entire room makes noises of astonishment.

“So it is up to all of you Blainetologists to get as many people there as you can. Whoever gets the most people to come gets a prize.”

Stan moves closer to the group of children. He looks at the kid that is standing next to Cartman. However, Stan gets a good look at the young boy’s face. It wasn’t the face of Kyle. Different cheekbones and a different nose. Stan looks around and spots the nose that he knows all too well. The boy turns and looks at Stan.

“Kyle, I’m starting to think this is a really bad idea.”

“Wow, dude, how’d you know it was me?”

“Well, you’re Kyle. You are you. If that makes any sense.” Stan tries to explain without it sounding really gay.

“What if you’re Stan then where’s Kenny?” Kyle’s face contorts in confusion. 

“Hehe, guess who I am.” Cartman says aloud. No one responds.

Stan rolls and then looks Kyle in the eyes.

“Kyle, I think that we may have gotten into something bad here.”

“What do you mean? We’re learning all kinds of cool stuff?”

“Look at us dude. These people are trying to change us somehow. I think it’s time we went home.”

“But David Blaine is gonna do more miracles in Denver tomorrow.”

Anger fills within Stan. He can’t reason with Kyle like. 

“I don’t care. I’m leaving.” 

Stan walks away from the group and heads towards the door. However, a grown man blocks it. Stan looks up at him. A frown evident on Stan’s face. 

“Excuse me.” Stan says with clear annoyance in his voice.

“Where are you going?” The man asks in a deep voice.

“I’m going home.” Stan answers in a tone that suggests that the answer was obvious. 

“You don’t want to go home.”

“You said we’re free to leave whenever we want.”

“You are.”

“Move out of the way.” Stan commands. 

“I’m not in your way.” The man smiles. “You are. Are you unhappy with the church’s teachings? Lets just talk about it.”

Stan looks at the man with uncertainty. Afraid of going in a room with the man by his lonesome.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to leave.” Stan backpedals a few spaces. 

The man holds out his hand, “Why don’t we go into the back room for a second? And talk. Then you can leave.”

The ominous feeling Stan is getting from the man strikes fear within Stan. He backpedals some more. Not wanting to be any closer to the man.

“Th-That’s okay. I changed my mind. I want to stay.”

The man moves away from the door and closer to Stan. Stan quickly backs up. Getting out of reach from the man. 

“That’s great. Such good news.” 

Stan looks at the man with fear.




Night rolls around and Stan quickly climbs down the ladder of the buck bed he is sharing with Kyle. Once on the ground, he pulls off Kyle’s blanket.

“Kyle,” Stan whispers. “Kyle it’s time to get up.”

Stan watches as Kyle’s eyes flutter open. 

“Stan?” Kyle slurs and Stan smiles softly at his best friend.

“Come on Kyle. It’s time to get up.”

Kyle slowly lifts himself out of bed. Stan grabs his hand and quickly drags Kyle to the door. Stan opens the door, gripping Kyle’s hand tighter. He looks around the hallway and finds it to be vacant of anyone. 

“It’s all clear.” Stan whispers to Kyle.

Stan gently pulls on Kyle’s arm. Signaling him that it is time to move. As they move out into the hallway Kyle asks, “What are we doing?”

Stan, busy with making sure that they don’t get caught, answers Kyle. 

“We are getting out out here. This whole thing is getting way out of hand.”

Suddenly, Stan feels Kyle yank himself out of Stan’s grip. Stan can’t help but feel a slight pang in his heart. Stan turns to face Kyle.

“Woah, woah. I’m not going anywhere.”

Stan starts to feel his ears numb. ‘No, Kyle be doing this.’ Stan thinks. ‘This place isn’t safe for him and myself.’ Stan can’t help the red hot anger that fills in the pit of his stomach.

“Kyle, this is stupid.” Stan emphasizes. 

“It’s not stupid Stan.” Kyle argues fiercely. “For once in my life, I feel like I’m part of something.”

“Part of what?” Stan shouts back at Kyle. A pressure builds behind Stan’s eyes. Hoping that Kyle didn’t always feel left out, and that it’s this stupid cult voodoo talking. “Some gaywad magician’s crazy life plan?!” 

As soon as the fire in Kyle’s eyes light up, Stan knows that Kyle wouldn’t be coming with him. It makes the pain in his heart hurt more. 

“Don’t call Mister Blaine a gaywad. He’s a brilliant man.” Kyle points at Stan.

Stan is glad that his ears feel numb because he doesn’t want to hear anymore of Kyle’s crazy David Blaine talk.

“No! They just convinced you he’s a brilliant man. Lets go.” Stan commands one last time. However, he knows that Kyle’s mind is made up.

“No, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Goddamnit.” Stan yells out in frustration. He hates seeing how manipulated Kyle is. He hates that these stupid Blainetolo-whatevers have taken over his best friend. Stan takes out his hat and yells into it. He then puts it on. “Look dude. I’m getting out of here and you’ll be a dumbass if you don’t come with me.” Stan threatens.

“Then I guess,” Kyle looks off to the side then back at Stan. Conviction flowing through Kyle’s eyes. “Then I guess I’m a dumbass.”

Stan looks behind him at the exit sign then back at Kyle’s receding figure. Tears threaten to spill. Stan has to try. Has to try one more time. For Kyle.

“Kyle, please. You’re-” Stan cuts himself off. Finding the courage to continue on with the sentence. “You’re my best friend.” The boy with the blue hat pleads.

The figure stops and turns around. 

“Well, this is what I believe in now, Stan. And- And if you can’t respect that. Then I guess we’re not best friends anymore.” With that, Kyle opens a door and enters. Swiftly closing the door behind him.

Stan freezes at that statement. It was like the finishing blow. Tears start to spill and Stan quickly turns around. He pushes the door open and leaves. His tears don’t stop until he finds his way back home.




The next day, Stan goes into his garage and grabs his bike. He opens the garage door and leaves. Once outside he closes the garage door. He hops on his bike and pedals away. He thinks back to last night. At his failure to protect his best- his friend from David Blaine’s ideology. He stops at a corner. He looks down at the handle bars. Taking his right hand and forming a fist. He hits the handle bar with his fist. Stan is upset at himself. Stan hears a gasp from across the street. He looks up to see Kyle and Cartman.

“Come brother Kyle. We have no time for him.” Cartman says and continues to walk down the sidewalk.

However, Kyle stays for a bit longer. They both stare at each other. Stan can’t help but feel the extreme distance between himself and Kyle. That and the longing of having his friend be at his side. Kyle breaks the staring match and looks down at the sidewalk. Walking away from Stan. Stan can’t help but to look at Kyle’s retreating figure once again. He turns around and walks the opposite direction Kyle is going. 

However, Stan spots a black car up the road. He squints and sees two Blainetologists sitting in the car. The quickly turns around and walks. He hears a car’s engine turn on. He looks over his shoulder to see that the headlights of the car are on. He whips his head back around and hears the car getting closer. He can also hear the beating of his own heart. He looks back at the car again. It’s right behind him. With all his strength, Stan lifts his orange bike and chucks it at the car. The car easily drives over it. Stan jumps to the side and rolls from the sidewalk to the snowy grass.

“You better watch yourself next time, Abandoner.” The voice spits venom.

Stan watches as the car drives off. He rolls from his stomach to his back. Gulping every breath of air. He can feel his heart beat rapidly. As he looks up to the sky, Stan makes a vow. A vow to get Kyle out of this deadly group.




Stan spots the turquoise house. He runs to the doorstep and hastily rings the doorbell. The door opens almost immediately. Revealing that the owner of the house, is infact, Jesus Christ.

“Hi Jesus.” Stan nervously waves. “It’s me, Stan Marsh.”

“Of course, I know you. Come in.” 

Stan B-lines into Jesus’ house. Jesus slowly yet gracefully walks over to his couch and sits down. Stan word vomits everything to Jesus.

“You’re good to bring this to my attention Stan. Cults are a very dangerous thing.”

“I read in the Bible that you perform miracles too. If you could go in front of these people and show them your miracles then they’ll all see that David Blaine isn’t so special.”

“The miracle I am most famous for is turning water into wine.”

“Can you do it again?”

“Very well. I shall perform the miracle. Behold. Here you can see ordinary water.” Jesus gestures to the pitcher of water. “Clear, clean. Wait, now. Turn around."

Stan just stares at Jesus. 

“Tur-Turn around.” Jesus makes a gesture with his hand. 

Stan does as so.

“O-Okay, now turn back.”

Stan turns back around to see a pitcher full of wine.

“It is now wine." 

Stan stares at Jesus for a minute before commenting on the trick. 

“Th-That’s it? That’s how you didn’t that trick?”

“Wel-Well yeah." 

“That trick sucks Jesus.” At least no one can say that Stanley Marsh isn’t a man of honesty.

“Oh. Ah. I guess it worked better on people two thousand years ago.”

“Dude, we have to do something. This guy’s performing miracles in Denver tonight. He’s going to get more followers and it’ll be impossible for me to get Kyle out.” 

“Then let us go.”

“Dude, I don’t think you should do the water to wine trick.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Jesus says with an at ease tone. “I have a few more miracles up my sleeve.”




Stan watches as Jesus preaches on stage. He waits for his que. While waiting, he scans the audience for Kyle. He spots the oh so familiar green hat in the of the audience. Stan can feel himself be filled with determination at the thought of freeing Kyle from David Blaine’s grasp. Stan hears his que. He pulls the cart of bread and fish onto the stage. Then moves onto the side of the stage. However, Stan hears Jesus telling the large crowd to turn around, he can’t help but facepalm.

He watches as David Blaine magically lifts the bread and fish and places it right next to Stan. Stan jumps in surprise and moves out of the way. Stan watches as David Blaine transforms himself into cards then back. He watches as the crowd goes wild. He spots Kyle’s hat once again. He can see the hat bouncing joyously along with the crowd. Stan feels that similar frustrating feeling swell up within him.

Jesus walks off the stage and Stan follows. Stan follows Jesus and he soon finds that they have made their way outside the of building.

“His magic is too powerful Stanley. I have never seen anything like it.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I cannot face him alone. We must get the help of all the Super Best Friends.” Jesus looks at his watch. “Buddha? Buddha! Come in.”

“Super best friends?” Stan questions.

Stan watches as Jesus talks with Buddha. Informing Buddha about the situation.

“Come Stanley. We must travel far and long.” 

“To where?”

“To distances of unfathomable to man. Take hold of my robe, Stanley. And do not open your eyes.” Jesus says in a strict tone.

Stan gives Jesus a look but does as Jesus says.

“I am ready.”




“Are you still keeping your eyes closed?”


“Good. Want some peanuts?”




“Alright Stanley, you can open your eyes now.”

Stan opens his eyes to see a large building that holds a similar design to capital buildings. On the top of the white pristine building has the words, ‘Hall Of Super Best Friends.’

Jesus takes Stan’s hand and they head inside. Jesus leads Stan to a room. The doors slide open and multiple individuals are inside. Jesus introduces Stan to everyone.

“You mean to tell me, even though people fight and argue over different religions. You guys are all friends." 

“Not just friends, young one, but super best friends.” Muhammad clearifies. “With the desire to fight for justice.”

“We all believe in the power of good over evil. Well except for Buddha, of course, who doesn’t believe in evil.” Joseph Smith adds on. 

“Wow.” Stan watches in astonishment as all the leaders of the different religions work together. Wishing that one day, Kyle and himself will get along like them.




At Washington, Stan watches as Jesus and his super best friends confront David Blaine. On the inside, Stan is freaking out. He is running around the reflecting pool. With shaking hands, he turns around another kid. Nope, not the same cheekbones and nose. He quickly leaves the dead young boy. He gets out of the water and runs around. Shouting Kyle’s name. His heart pounding in his chest. He refuses to think any what ifs questions. He can’t afford to. Kyle might not have drown himself yet. He has to search. He has to find Kyle. He made a vow to himself that he will protect Kyle. He can’t break it. He looks at the pond once more, seeing another boy like figure laying face down in the pool.

“Kyle?” Stan shouts.

He races into the pool and, yet again, flips the body face up. However, this time, he recognizes the body. It may not be Kyle, but it is Kenny.

“Oh my God. They killed Kenny!”

In the distance, Stan hears, “You bastards!”

“K-Kyle?” Stan with uncertainty. Now he’s afraid that he is hearing things. But Stan tries again.

Cupping his mouth, Stan shouts, “Oh my God. They killed Kenny.”

“You bastard.”

A smile edges onto Stan’s face. He follows the sound of Kyle’s voice. Repeating their usual catch phrases. As he walks, Stan starts to see a giant glass bubble. Inside that bubble, he sees Kyle’s bright green hat. He gets out of the water and runs over to the bubble.

“Kyle!” Stan wants to cry. He found Kyle, alive. “Kyle, you can’t kill yourself.”

“I don’t want to kill myself.” Kyle’s voice is muffled by the glass. “They rigged the thing to fill with water.” 

Stan grabs the hose and yanks on it. The hose refuses to give way. Stan looks at Kyle. Their eyes meet. This time, however, Stan can see panic fill in Kyle’s usually fire filled eyes. Somewhere in the back of Stan’s mind, he decided that he hates having Kyle’s eyes full of panic. It’ not a good look on the boy.

Suddenly, the ground starts to shift. Both Kyle and Stan turn to look at the giant Abe Lincoln in the distance.

“Ah, Stan?”

Stan looks back to Kyle. He sees the water in the bubble rising. Kyle’s almost out of air. Kyle’s going to die. Panic takes over Stan’s face.

“No, Kyle! Please hang on a little more. I-I’m going to get you out of there.” Stan starts banging his fist on the glass. In hopes of breaking it. Stan feel his brain go blank. He doesn’t even notice the Abe Lincoln walks towards them. 

“K-Kyle, you have to hold your breath.”

Stan watches as Kyle takes one last deep breath. The water fills up the entire glass bubble. Stan doesn’t even hear the screams over everyone around him. His focus is on Kyle. He watches as Kyle’s eyes widen. Stan gasps as a giant hand reaches down and picks up Kyle’s glass bubble. He watches as Lincoln shakes Kyle around like some snow globe. Stan feels anger flare within him. He looks up at the giant.

“Oh, very funny.” He yells at Lincoln.

He glares at the giant and watches as another giant walks up behind Lincoln. The other giant takes out a gun and shoots Lincoln in the back of the head. Lincoln falls to the ground. Kyle with him. Stan gasps and runs over to Kyle. He hugs Kyle. Squeezes him tight. Relief washes over him. He did it. He protected Kyle.

“Ah, dude, you’re crushing me.”

Stan freezes up, then quickly lets Kyle go.

“Oh sorry.”




Stan walks up to the same microphone that David Blaine used. He adjusted it so it was to his height. He looks back at Kyle. Kyle just smiles encouragingly at him. Stan nods, takes a breath, then turns back to the microphone. 

“Listen up everyone. We don’t need David Blaine to tell you how to live. You see, cults are dangerous because they promise you hope, happiness, and maybe even an afterlife. But in return they demand you to pay money. What kind of religion requires you to pay money so you can move up in the ranks? The wrong kind. You see all religions have something valuable to teach. Just like the Super Best Friends. It requires a little bit of it all.”

“He’s right.” Some guy in the crowd shouts. “He’s right.”

Stan walks away from the microphone, and over to Kyle.

“Thanks for saving me Stan. You’re my super best friend.” Kyle says.

Stan’s heart swells in joy. A smile sprawls out onto Stan’s face.

“You’re my super best friend too Kyle.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet you guys. Why don’t you get a room and makeout for a while.” Cartman laughs.

Stan watches as Kyle turns to Cartman and kicks him in the balls. Cartman falls onto his ass and both Stan and Kyle laugh. Stan walks over and kicks Cartman in the balls as well. The two boys keep kicking Cartman in the balls. Making up for lost time.




“Stan? Hello, Stan? Are you even in there?” 

Stan blinks and jerks away from the hand waving in front of him.

“Finally dude. You have just been sitting there staring at me for like, three episodes straight.” Kyle informs Stan.

Stan just smiles apologetically at Kyle.

“Sorry, dude. Lost in thought.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“The couple of days that lead up to us becoming super best friends.” 

Kyle blushes in embarrassment. Stan knows how much Kyle regrets joining that David Blaine cult. Stan just laughs.

“Ugh, I hate you.” Kyle turns and goes back to watching Terrance and Phillip. 

Stan looks at Kyle and smiles. Stan went through a lot of heartache to be Kyle's super best friend. And he would do it all over again.


Chapter Text

“Wendy, you’re here!” Bebe eclaims.

She pulls Wendy inside and slams the door behind them shut. She grabs Wendy’s arm and drags her to the basement. Wendy has to tighten her grip on her sleepover supplies.

“Is everyone else here?”

“Yup. You were the last one to show up.”

They walk down the stairs to show Red, Heidi, Nicole, Annie, Esther, Nelly, and Millie all sitting in a circle. The girls are already wearing their sleeping wear.

“Hey girls, Wendy’s here.” Bebe announces to the girls.

All the girls turn to look at the bottom of the stairs. Wendy, standing in her pajamas along with Bebe. The girls cheer as all the invitees are at the sleepover. Wendy smiles at her friends. She goes over to Nicole and sits down next to her. She puts her stuff down and watches as Bebe stands in the middle of the circle.

“Welcome to the annual Bebe Stevens sleepover. Now as host, I will let everyone vote on the topic of tonight’s sleepover.”

The girls look around at each other. Trying to come up with a topic. After a minute or two, Esther raises her hand.

“I vote we talk about ships.”

All the girls squeals. Ever since the Asian kids introduced the idea of shipping, the girls of South Park couldn’t get enough of it.

“Sunshine, sparkle?” Bebe questions.

“Sunshine!” The girls reply.

“Then it’s settled. Esther, since you came up with the idea, the floor is yours.” Bebe walks over to the empty spot besides Wendy.

Esther, unlike Bebe, remains seated next to Red and Bebe. She rummages around in her pink duffle bag. She pulls out a pen and a notebook. She flips the notebook open to an empty page. She clears her throat.

“As head of the shipping committee, I would like to take a vote one which is the most popular ship among the girls.”

The girls give each other a knowing look.

“All in favor of Creek as their number one ship?”

Everyone raises their hands. Esther jots down the result.

“So here by the head of the shipping committee, I declare that everyone’s favorite ship is Creek. The shipping of Craig and Tweek.”

Suddenly, across from Esther, Annie raises her hand.

“Annie?” Esther questions.

“Does it still count as a ship if they’re already in a relationship?”

“Of course Annie. You can ship people even if they are in a relationship.” Esther pauses and writes something down. “Alright, here’s the tricky part. Next order of business is the second favorite ship. We will go until we have the top five. So, debate.”

Bebe’s hand instantly shoots up. She waves it around frantically. Esther points her pen at her. Indicating that she has the right to speak.

“Okay, so for my second favorite ship has to be Tyde. I love Clyde, dearly, but him and Token are so cute.” Bebe squeals.

Nicole reaches over Wendy, having her hand form a fist. Bebe spots this, and fist bumps Nicole.

“I second that.” Nicole says.

Millie raises her hand and Bebe calls on her.

“I think Bunny is the next best ship. I mean Butters is such a good thing for Kenny and vice versa.” Millie gushes.

“That’s a good shout, Mill.” Red comments.

Nelly taps on Millie’s shoulder. Millie turns her right to see Nelly raising her hand.

“Nelly.” Millie calls on her. Nelly smiles at her.

“What about Style? Come on guys. They are like the most bromatic ship out their.” Nelly exclaims.

“I agree with Nelly. Plus, they are so cute with each other. And I’m pretty sure Stan has practiced to not throw up around Kyle. He must have.” Annie agrees.

"Remember the one time Stan actually puked on Kyle during recess. Oh that was gold." Nelly says to Annie.

Wendy looks around at the group, confused. She has never heard of that ship before.

“What’s Style?” Wendy asks.

All the girls gasp as a reaction.

“Holy shit, she doesn’t know about Style.” Red whispers.

Wendy looks at the girls’ faces. Going from Annie to Esther. Each one had a look of surprise and shock. She turns to Bebe. Hoping she will get an answer from her best friend.

“Wendy, darling, don’t get mad okay.” Bebe says gently. “Style is the ship between Stan and Kyle.”

Wendy tenses. She doesn’t know how to react to her friends thinking Stan would be better off being in a relationship with Kyle. Kyle Broflovski. Of all people. Her main academic rival. The one person she keeps losing first place too. She can feel that green evil eyed monster start to consume her.

“What the hell guys!” Wendy rages. “How could you ship Kyle fucking Broflovski with my Stanley!?”

“Look, Wendy, picture it from our shoes. Kyle and Stan are best friends. Hell, they call each other super best friends. Pretty gay if you ask us. Cartman teases them all the time about being boyfriends, they beat a game called Guitar Queer-O, and Stan fucking tricked Cartman into giving Kyle one of his kidneys so Kyle wouldn’t die. I got a lot of other examples on why we ship them.” Bebe tries to reason with her friend.

Wendy looks around at the other girls. Seeing their faces of concern knocks Wendy back to reality. However, she can still feel that monster lingering in the pit of her stomach.

“Wendy,” Nicole speaks up. “Look at Bebe and I. We both ship Tyde, despite them being our boyfriends.”

That got Wendy thinking. Thinking back to all the times Stan and Kyle hung out. To all the times Stan would talk about his adventures with Kyle, even though they were on a date. To all the times Kyle and Stan had proven their friendship, their loyalty towards each other. To all the times Stan had shown time and time again on how much he loves Kyle. Platonic or not. Wendy wasn’t dumb. She could see the love they had for one another. She was just in denial of it. Even if the two boys didn’t realize it themselves.

Wendy looks at the concern face of her friends’. She just smiles sad yet softly. The girls sigh in relief. They would want Kyle to end up like Ms. Ellen. They actually like Kyle.

“I- I think,” Wendy stutters out. “I think I ship Style.”

The group of girls clap for her.

“That took a lot of courage to say Wendy.” Millie appauldes.

“I just- I’ve seen the way they look at each other. They way Stan talks about Kyle. It’s just filled with so much love. I’ve just didn’t want to see it because I know that Stan will never look at me like the way he looks at Kyle.” Wendy confesses.

“Group hug!” Annie exclaims.

Wendy can feel the arms of Bebe and Nicole wrap around her. Then Esther, Red, Millie, Nelly, and Annie soon follow. She just smiles at her friends.

“Okay, okay guys. I’m good.” Wendy struggles against their hold. Everyone laughs and sits back in their spot.

“With that out of the way. I have in first place, Creek. Second place, Style. Third place, Bunny. Fourth place, Tyde. We must talk about a fifth place.” Esther draws the girls back into their original conversation.

Wendy thinks for a bit before an idea pops into her mind.

“You guys remember Damien and Pip?”

Everyone nods.

“They were friends. I think. I know that Pip was the first one to talk to Damien and get him accustomed to South Park.”

“Oh, yeah!” Bebe shouts. “Pip helped Damien get invited to Cartman’s birthday party.”

“What would be their ship name?” Esther asks.

“How about Dip?” Wendy smiles.

“Dip! I like it! It’s such a cute name. Good job Wendy. All in favor for Dip being the fifth favorite ship?”



Chapter Text



Once upon a time, in a far away land. A young prince lived in a shiny castle. His name was Stan. Although Stan had everything his heart desired. The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind to humans. Finding his only companionship in his dog, Sparky. But then, one night, an old beggar woman came to the castle. Offering him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her horrid appearance, the Prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him to not be deceived by appearances. For beauty is found within. But when Stan dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal beautiful Enchantress. The Prince tried to apologized to the Enchantress, but it was too late. For she had seen that there was no love in his heart for humans. As punishment, the raven haired Enchantress transformed him into the thing that holds the only love in his heart. A Beast. She then placed a powerful spell around the castle, and on all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, Stan concealed himself inside his castle. With a magic mirror as his only way to the outside world. The rose she had offered, was truly an enchanted rose. It would bloom until his twenty first year. If he could learn to love another human, and earn their love in return before the last petal fell, then the spell will be broken. If not, Stanley would be doomed to walk the Earth as the Beast he became.


As the years past, the Prince fell into despair. He lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a Beast?




Kyle exits his cottage home, basket in hand. He starts to walk down a dirt road. The same dirt road that leads into town. Swinging his basket as he does so. Then a song comes to mind. He sings.


“Little town, it’s a quiet village.”


Kyle looks up to see a couple of robins fly by. He worries a bit for the bird since South Park is a cold and hazardous place for birds. He pulls down on his bright green ushanka.


“Everyday like one before.”


Kyle walks over a tiny bridge that is suspended above the frozen pound. He’s just outside of the town.


“Little town full of little people, waking up to say.”


“Hello!” A man slams his winds open.


“Hello!” Another man does the same.


Kyle watches as the hustle and bustle of South Park’s people come alive. He continues to walk through the town.


“Hello!” A woman slams her door open.


“Hello!” Another woman calls from an alleyway.


“Hello!” A man flips his shop’s sign to open.


“There goes Mr. Tweek with his tray of coffee. The same old beans and smells to sell. Every morning just the same. Since the morning that we came. To this poor provincial town.”


“Good Morning Kahl!” Mr. Tweek says as he walks by Kyle.


“It’s Kyle, actually.” Kyle says as he follows Mr. Tweek to his shop.


“Whatever. Where you off to, today?” Mr. Tweek says as he puts down his tray of coffee to pick up some signs and hang them on the window of his shop.


“The library. I just finished the most awesome book. It was about a beanstalk and an ogre and a-”


“That’s nice. Tweek! The special ingredient! Hurry!”


Kyle rolls his eyes and hopes the best for Tweek. His parents work the poor kid to the bone. Kyle continues further into town. Kyle passes two old women. He can hear them chatting.


“Look there he goes that boy is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can’t you tell?”


“Never part of any crowd.”


“‘Cause he’s head is stuck in a cloud.”


“Can’t deny he’s such a funny boy that Kahl.”


Kyle rolls his eyes at all the whispering. Kyle hops quickly takes out his phone and hooks it up to the E-Scooter in front of him. He hops on the scooter and takes off.


“Hello!” A man in front of him says.


“Good day!” A woman he flies by says.


“How is your family?” Kyle faintly hears the man ask.


He starts to approach another man and woman chatting.


“Hello!” The woman says.


“Good day!” The man replies.


“How is your wife?” The woman asks. Kyle snickers at that one.


“I need six toys!” Kyle hears a woman shout from within a store.


“That’s too expensive!” Kyle watches as a drunk man stumbles onto the sidewalk, slurring his words.


“There must be more than this provincial life.” Kyle sings out.


Kyle, finally, makes it to the library. He parks the scooter outside the library and enters the massive building. To his pleasure, the library is all but vacant. He spots Ms. Herman at her usual spot behind the front desk.


“Ah, Kyle.”


Kyle smiles at the old lady’s correct pronunciation at his name.


“Good morning, ma’am. I’ve come to return the books I borrowed.” Kyle takes the books three books his basket.


“Finished already?” Ms. Herman questions with a smile.


Kyle smiles at the old librarian. “Oh, I couldn’t put them down. Have anything new?”


Both Kyle and Ms. Herman know that all the years that Kyle has lived in South Park, he basically read all of the fictional books in the library. You know what they say, if you’re not apart of a crowd? Read a book. Or, at least, that’s what Kyle tells himself.


Ms. Herman laughs, “Not since yesterday, my dear boy.”


“Damn. Oh, I know. I’ll borrow this one.”


Kyle races over to the oh so familiar bookshelf. He grabs a thick blue book and runs back to the desk. He pulls out his library card from his basket. He places the card on the desk and slides it over to Ms. Herman.


“That one? But you’ve read it twice.” Ms. Herman laughs.


“What can I say? It’s my favorite. Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise-” Kyle says with a far off look.


“If you like it so much, it’s yours.”


That snaps Kyle out of his trance real quick.


“But ma’am!”


Ms. Herman smiles, “I insist.”


Kyle smiles back at her.


“Thank you so much!”


Kyle puts the book and card in his basket and leaves the library. Outside of the library, three men around Kyle’s age, who are most likely drunk, watch as Kyle walks off.


“Look there he goes that boy is so peculiar. I wonder if he’s feeling well. With a dreamy, far-off look, and his nose stuck in a book. What a puzzle to the rest of us is Kahl.”


Kyle’s eyebrow twitches in annoyance at the mispronunciation of his name. Kyle takes his book out of his basket and turns to the first page. Reading it as he walks through the town. Trying to ignore the townsfolk. Kyle lifts his head up and realizes that he is at the tiny playground. He finds a bench and sits down. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a couple of kids run up to him. He smiles and shows the kids his book.


“Oh, isn’t this amazing.” Kyle sings to the kids. He watches as the kids look at him in awe. “It’s my fav’rite part because--you’ll see. Here’s where she meets Prince Charming.” Kyle points to the words at the page. One of the kids stick their face closer to the book. “But she won’t discover that it's him ‘til chapter three!”


Kyle laughs a bit. The kids, seeing as Kyle is laughing, laugh along with him. One of the kids’ mother walks over to the brown haired boy. She takes hold of the kid’s arm and drags the poor boy away from Kyle. She scoffs at Kyle from over her shoulder. Kyle gets up and walks away. Some of the kids’ parents start to sing as he leaves.


“It’s no wonder that his name means ‘Sound.’ His voice has got no parallel.”


Kyle blushes at the comment, but continues to walk down the street. A shopkeeper, that was sweeping the sidewalk, leans on his broom.


“But behind that fair facade. I’m afraid he’s rather odd. Very different from the rest of us.” The man continues to sweep.


The people that are walking around Kyle, look at him with distaste.


“He’s nothing like the rest of us. Yes, different like the rest of us is Kahl!”


Kyle’s eyebrow twitches again. Man, he really hates this town sometimes. Suddenly, a gunshot is heard. Kyle whips his head over to where the shot came from. He makes a sound of disgust as he sees Scott Malkinson stuffing a goose in a sack. He watches as Scott runs over to Cartman. Kyle wants to puke. He spots his friend Jimmy and goes over to him. However, it wasn’t far enough. Kyle could still hear their conversation.


“I got it!” Scott shouts. “Wow! You didn’t miss a shout, Cartman! You’re the greatest hunter in the whole world.”


“I know.” Cartman says arrogantly.


“No beast alive stands a chance against you. And no person, for that matter.”


“It’s true, Scott.” Kyle couldn’t help but this that was further from the truth. “And I’ve got my sights set on someone.”


“The Jew Canadian’s brother?”


Kyle wants to barf. How dare they talk about his brother with such disgust in their voices.


“He’s the one. He’s the luck man I’m going to marry.”


In Kyle’s mind, he’s already refusing that offer. No way in hell was he marrying Cartman. He’d honestly rather die.


“But he’s-” Scott tries to reason.


“The most beautiful person in town.”


“I know but-”


“That makes him the best. I deserve the best.”


“Of course you do.” Scott rushes out his response.


“Right from the moment when I met him, saw him. I said he’s gorgeous and I fell. Here, in town, it’s only he. Who’s as beautiful as me. So I’m making plans to woo and marry Kahl.”


Kyle rolls his eyes at Cartman’s statement. He tell Jimmy goodbye, and heads off. He opens his book and begins to read again. He passes three girls that are very popular in this town. Patty Nelson, Bebe, and Heidi. However, Kyle quickens his pace as he hears Cartman stomping after him.  


“Look, there he goes, isn’t he dreamy. Mister Cartman, oh he’s so cute. Be still my heart, I’m hardly breathing. He’s such a strong, dark, tall, and handsome brute.”


Kyle can think of things wrong with those sentences. Cartman was none of that. But, of course, the easiest girls in South Park would say that. Kyle walks quickly into the crowd. Trying to escape Cartman’s field of vision. Kyle can hear multiple shouts around him.


“Let me through you fucks!” Cartman shouts over the crowd.


Kyle’s basically jogging to get away at this point.


“There must be more than this provincial life.” Kyle sings to himself.


“Just watch, I’m going to make Kahl my wife.”


Kyle hears Cartman. He can’t help but get sick at the thought of being Cartman’s so called ‘wife.’


Kyle hears the townsfolk around him starting to sing in unison.


“Look there he goes. That boy is strange yet special. A most peculiar man as well.”


“It’s a pity and a sin.” A woman Kyle passes says.


“He doesn’t quite fit in.” A man says.


“‘Cause he really is a funny boy. A beauty but a funny boy. He really is a funny boy. That Kahl!” The townsfolk finish.


Kyle turns around and slams his book shut. With his eyebrow twitching, he takes a deep breath.


“It’s Kyle!” He shouts into the crowded town. However, nobody is listening.


Kyle scoffs and turns back around. He continues back down the familiar dirt path. Unfortunately, a large and wide figure blocks his path.


“Good morning, Kahl.”


“Fuck off Fatass.”


His book gets ripped from his hands. Kyle turns towards the larger and taller, which Kyle loathes to admit, man.


“Cartman,” Kyle says in a stern and angry voice. “Give me back my book.”


“How can you read this? There’s no pictures.” Cartman says while holding the book vertically.


“It’s called using your brain. Try it sometimes.”


“Well lucky for me, I don’t need these things.” Cartman drops Kyle’s book. It lands in snow. “Hey, isn’t it about time you get your head out of those “books” and into a kitchen. You’re not getting any younger here Kahl.”


“It’s Kyle, and I’m a fucking man.”


“Adoption is always a thing Kahl.”


At this point, Kyle gives up on trying to get anyone in this God forsaken town to correctly pronounce his name.


“You need to start focusing on more important thing. Like me.” Cartman smiles, but Kyle thinks it’s more sinister than anything.


Kyle hears a gasp and looks behind Cartman to see Bebe, Heidi, and Patty drop to their knees. Kyle’s face contorts in disgust. Kyle squats and reaches around Cartman, grabbing his book from out of the slushy snow. Kyle stands back up and uses his gloves to wipe of the snow.


“The whole town’s talking about it. It’s not right for a Jew to read. Soon they start getting ideas, thinking.”


Kyle’s about to punch Cartman for belittling his people. He contains his angry. Not wanting to let it loose quite yet. He can’t afford to punch the town’s favorite asshole right now.


“Cartman, you are positively primeval.” Kyle says with obviously fake kindness.


“I know, I’m great.” Cartman fixes the collar of his jacket.


Kyle rolls his eyes. Laughing internally. Of course Cartman wouldn’t know what the meaning of primeval. It’s the furthest thing from a compliment. Suddenly, his book is taken from his hands again and an arm is wrapped around his waist.


“Why don’t we go to Tweek’s Coffee Shop?”


“No way in hell.”


Kyle quickly snatches his book from Cartman, and rips the hand away from his waist.


“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Cartman angrily questions.


“I’m going back home to my brother.”


Kyle turns and starts to walk away. However he stops when he hears laughing.


“That young Canadian?” Scott says through his laughter. “What a delusional kid. Thinking he can make it in the NHL.”


Kyle turns around, placing his book in his basket. He forms fists with both hands.


“Fucking talk about my brother again. I dare you!”


Kyle watches as Cartman turns to Scotty and yells and hits him.


“He’s not delusional. He’s a hockey genius.”


Kyle hears a loud shatter coming from his cottage. He glares at Cartman and Scott, then runs off to his cottage. He could he their laughing but ignores it. He sprints to the backyard. Knowing fully well that Ike was back their. A couple years ago, Kyle made their own private ice rink in their backyard. As he turns the corner, he sees Ike standing by a window. Staring at the large hole.


“Ike! Are you okay?” Kyle runs over to Ike. Checking the boy up and down to see if he’s injured.


Ike sighs and pushes Kyle off of him.


“I’m alright. I was practicing a trick shot and the puck broke the window.”


Kyle smiles at his younger brother.


“At least you’re not hurt. Well, I’m going to go and clean up the mess, then make dinner. How does hot dogs and mac and cheese sound?” Kyle watches as his brother nods his head in agreement. “You can stay out here until dinner is ready, alright? Remember you got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”


“Yup. I can’t wait to play with Avalanche Juniors. It’s going to so sick.”


“Good. And Ike,” Ike turns to look at Kyle. “I’m sure you’ll get the trick down.”


Kyle watches as a determined smile is placed onto Ike’s face. Kyle smiles and walks back over to the front of the house. He walks up the few stairs. He opens the door and goes straight to the linen closet, which stores both towels and the broom and dustpan. He takes out the broom and dustpan. He closes the closet and walks over to the broken window. Glass is scattered across the floor. Kyle sighs as he starts sweeping. Kyle and Ike lost their parents bought three years ago in a car accident. They coming back from a protest in Denver, Kyle and Ike stayed home, when their car hit black ice. Apparently, the car slide into the other lane. A semi, that was in that other lane, hit them. Since Kyle was nineteen at the, he had the ability to become Ike’s guardian. And that’s what he did. Kyle was forced to drop out of college and start picking up random jobs. His current one is working at the library. Hence, why he reads so much. Ms. Herman gave him the week off to spend with Ike before he heads to Denver for his game.


Kyle finishes sweeping and puts the broom and dustpan back. He a window sealer and tapes it around the hole. Stopping the cold air from seeping in. Kyle goes into the kitchen and prepares the food. Once the food is done cooking, Kyle calls Ike into eat.




The next morning, Kyle is hugging Ike. Ike hugs his brother back, just as tight.


“Come kid, we don’t got all day.” The bus driver shouts from his seat.


Kyle, reluctantly, lets go of Ike. He smiles softly at his brother.


“You’re going to do great.” Kyle tells the young fifteen year old.


Ike gives Kyle a look of fierce determination.


“I won’t let you down, Kyle.”


Kyle laughs and affectionately ruffles Ike’s hair.


“As if you ever could. Go get ‘em Ike. Show ‘em what you’re made of.”


With that Ike grabs his duffle bag, that was discarded to the side, and steps onto the bus. Kyle watches as Ike walks all the way to the back of the bus, sitting in the last row. Kyle and Ike wave to each other while the bus drives off.




Ike presses his head against the window, watching the snowy ground go by. He plugs his headphones into his very outdated Iphone. He’s just lucky that Kyle bought him it for his birthday last year, even though money has always been tight. He’s so grateful for his brother’s sacrifices, so he can be like all the other kids. If anything, he would be texting his brother right now, but can’t since Kyle only has enough money for Ike’s phone plus all the other needs. He’s so lucky he has a brother like Kyle. He remembers when his parents died, Kyle has the option to become his guardian or stick him in an orphanage. Kyle adamantly refused to hand Ike over Child Protection Services. This is why Ike is working so hard to become a pro hockey player. So, he can not only follow his dream, but also give Kyle a better life. His brother deserves on after all.


Suddenly, Ike can feel the bus starting to slide. Which wasn’t good considering they were on a mountain road. Ike whips his face towards the front to see the bus driver losing control of the bus. Other passengers start to scream as the tips over the side of the cliff. The bus breaks through the guardrails and tumbles down the mountainside. Ike feels his headphones get ripped from his ears. He grabs onto his seat as his world spins. The screams of the other passengers weren’t helping Ike’s extremely high blood pressure. Ike also hears some glass breaking and, for a second, he is reminded of yesterday’s events. He feels glass cut his cheek. But that’s the least of his worries as he’s hanging on for dear life. After a couple more spins, the bus collides with a tree. Ike is thrown from his seat and into the one in front of him. Ike, after a moment or two to regain his stability, looks out from behind the large seat. What he sees is basically a massacre. Blood splattered everywhere, along with bodies. Everyone, besides Ike, is dead. Ike feels like he’s going to puke when he finally registers what that metallic smell is. He slowly, with shaky legs, gets out and into the aisle. He walks down the aisle, stepping over bodies from time to time. He shields his sight from the bus driver, who has a branch sticking through his chest. Ike pushes the bus doors open, collapses onto the snowy ground, and hurls.


Suddenly, Ike hears a howl in the distance. Wolves. Ike tries to regain himself. He stands up yet falls back down. He uses the side of the bus to help himself up. He quickly looks around and realizes that he has no idea where he is at. Weighing his potions, Ike decides that it’s best for him to get far away from the rancid smelling best. The blood, most likely, attracting the wolves as he ponders. Ike walks into the forest.


He walks for a while, but some wolves for scent of the blood from his cuts. All Ike knows is that he’s running as fast as he can to get away from the vicious animals. He runs and ducks behind trees. Using their branches as a blockaide for the wolves. He keeps running until he sees a tall and dark looking gate. If he wasn’t running from wolves, Ike would question what the hell was a gate doing out in the middle of the woods. Thunder booms across the sky, yet all Ike could hear was the snarl from the wolves behind him. He runs to the gate, shaking its metal bars.


“Hello!?” Ike looks behind him. The wolves are slowly crawling towards him. “Please let me in! Hurry!”


He looks behind him again. He sees the alpha wolf ready to pounce.




Suddenly the gate opens. Ike quickly pushes the open and slams it shut. Just in time, for the alpha wolf threw itself at the gate. Jaw clamped around the bar. Ike scurries backwards, away from the animals at the gate. He turns around to find a huge castle. One that looks dark and dangerous. Ike gulps. Making his way over to the large front door. ‘The owners of the castle couldn’t be that bad.’ I thinks. ‘They didn’t save me from wolves after all.’ Lighting strikes at that exact moment and rain falls. Ike could only take it as an ominous warning. Ike knocks on the door. The door opens immediately. Ike steps inside.


“Woah.” Ike mutters as he takes in the interior of the castle. Ike hopes that one day in the future Kyle and himself would have as extravagant as this.


Ike closes the door.


“Uh, hello?” Ike waits a minute for a response. “Hello?” He tries again, a little louder.


Ike walks further into the castle. He suddenly hears muttering.


“He must had lost his way in the woods.” A voice full of mischief says.


“Oh hamburgers, Ken. We gotta keep quiet.” A small and uncertain voice replies back.


“Is someone there?” Ike calls out.


“You know we can’t say anything Ken.” Ike hears that small voice again.


Ike turns his head to the direction he thinks the voices are coming from. However, there is only a table that has a golden clock and a rusted orange looking candle holder. He shrugs his shoulders and continues to look around the entrance of the castle.


“I’m sorry for intruding, but my bus was in an accident. I’m the only survivor. I-I need to get back to my brother.” Ike could feel tears slowly leak out. Today has been such a wreck for him, and adding onto the fact that Kyle is probably freaking out that he hasn’t called him. Ike wants to hit himself since he left his phone back at the bus, but what can he say? He had to leave or get mauled by wolves. Which almost happened anyways.


“Awe, Buttercup, have a heart. This poor boy was probably in a traumatic accident.”


“But Ken...”


“Hey, Kid!” That mischievous voice from earlier calls out to Ike.


Ike looks over at the two objects from before. Raising an eyebrow as he observes the two objects. He walks over to them. Now, that he is really looking at them, Ike can make out faces on the objects. The candle holder smiles at him.


“Cool.” Is Ike’s response to candle holder’s smile. That smile turns into a smirk.


“Seems like you aren’t scared of us Kid.”


“Well, I was just part of horrifying accident that left fourteen people dead. And I saw all of their corpses. Not to mention, I was almost mauled by wolves. And this is all in one day. I’m pretty sure objects talking is the least of my traumatic experiences today.” Ike sasses.


The candle holder just laughs.


“Well you’re right on that. We are friendly, I promise.” Ike can detect the small lie in the candle holder’s voice. But he says nothing. “My name is Kenny, but call me Ken if you want.”


Kenny puts one of his candle arms around the golden clock.


“This here is my precious Buttercup. But you get to call if Leopold.”


The clock waves shyly. “You can call me Butters if you want.”


“Nice to meet you, Kenny, Butters. I’m Ike.”


Ike sneezes, and Kenny and Butters share a look.


“Come on Ike. Let’s warm you up by the fire.” Kenny hops off the table.


Kenny starts hopping away. Ike watches as Butters quickly follows Kenny’s lead. Ike follows as well. He sneezes again, and gets a feeling of eyes on him. He looks around, but the castle is so dark he can’t see anything. He shrugs it off and goes into the room with a fireplace.


“We got to be careful, Ken. You know Stanley hates visitors.” Butters says as he rubs, what are supposed to be his hands, together.


“Stan’s just has a stick up his ass.” Kenny waves Butters’ concern off.


Ike at the interaction between the two. Ike goes over to a royal blue chair and sits down. Ike hears Butters gasp, but it’s drowned out by the sound of a dog barking. Ike turns his head to see a footrest jumping next to the chair. Ike laughs and pets the footrest.


“Seems you met Sparky.” Kenny laughs.


Ike nods as Sparky crawls under his feet, propping his feet up. Suddenly a blanket is being wrapped around Ike’s figure.


“Thank you.” Ike says to the coat rack. The rack nods at Ike then takes off.


“Ken, I really think-” Butters jumps out of the way when a red teapot on a cart zooms by.


Ike watches as the cart pulls up right next to the chair.


“Want some tea?” The teapot speaks frankly. Ike nods. The teapot pours tea into the chipped cup next to her.


Ike grabs the teacup and lifts it to his mouth. However, he stops and inspects the cup. He smiles when he sees the closed eyed face.


“Hello.” He whispers.


The teacup opens its eyes.


“Damn. Thought I’d fool ya.”


Ike laughs.


“What’s your name?”


“Tricia Tucker. You?”


“Ike Broflovski. Nice to meet you, Tricia.”


“Same here Ike.”


Before anything else could happen, the doors slam open. A gust of wind knocks the blazing fire out. Ike looks around and sees all of the objects quivering in fear. He lets go of Tricia and watches as she hides behind the red teapot. Ike starts to shake from both the cold and from the fear. He hears a animalistic growl from behind him.


“There’s a stranger here.” A strict voice says.


“My Prince, allow me to explain. Ike here was in a very horrible accident-” Kenny was interrupted by a much harsher animalistic growling.  


“S-Stanley, it’s not anyone's fault. There were wolves and-” Butters gets cut off by a louder growl.


Ike covers his ears at the loud growling. His hands shake violently as his mind takes him back to the wolves from earlier. He doesn’t even notice the raven haired beast in front of his face.


“Who are you? What are you doing here?” Stanley, as Butters called him, bares his teeth.


Unfortunately for Stanley, Ike’s brain starts to shut down. Tears start to flow from his eyes. A sob escapes him. Ike presses himself further into the royal blue chair. However, Stan took Ike’s tears as tears of frightening disgust at his features.


“What are you staring at?” Stan throws the blanket off of Ike and grabs the boy’s red Canadian coat.


Stan doesn’t take Ike’s silence well. However, Kenny stands up for Ike.


“Stan, look at the kid, you’re scaring the crap out of him.”


“So my appearance is so unsightly, he cries. He doesn’t deserve to be in my castle.” Stan lifts Ike out of the chair.


Ike gasps, but stays limp in Stan’s hold. Stan, by two steps at a time, climbs the winding staircase. Leaving everyone downstairs, in a state of panic and shock.




Kyle sits by the landline, waiting for Ike to call. Knowing that Ike should be in Denver right about now. He sighs and looks over at the closed book on the table. As he gets up, he hears a knocking at his door. He walks over to the door and looks through the peephole. He leans away from the small whole in disgust. Ugh, Cartman. Suddenly, the door opens. Kyle reminds himself to lock the door for next time.


“Cartman.” Kyle says with a tint of anger that the man in front of him just rudely opened his door. “What a.” Kyle hesitates. “Surprise.”


“Isn’t it. I’m just full of great surprises.”


‘And ugly fashion sense.’ Kyle thinks as he takes in the horrid red tuxedo Cartman’s wearing. Cartman invites himself in. Kyle backpedals to keep out of arm’s reach.


“You know, Kahl. There’s not a person in town that wouldn’t love to be in your shoes.”


“Oh, I beg to differ.”


Kyle smirks as he sees Cartman’s eyebrows twitch in annoyance. Cartman clears his throat.


“Well, today’s the day that all of your dreams come true.” Cartman says with an arrogant smile.


“What do you know of my dreams, Fatass?” Kyle raises an eyebrow.


“Plenty. Picture this. You, me, a house in town. You, cooking me dinner. Then massaging my feet.” Cartman backs Kyle into a corner. Capturing Kyle in between the wall and himself.


Kyle quickly ducks under Cartman’s arms. He gracefully moves over to the door.


“Honestly, I’m not flattered at all.” Kyle sasses.  


Cartman crosses the room and traps Kyle once again. Kyle searches for the door knob.


“Just say you’ll marry me, Kahl. That’s all it’s going to take.” Cartman smirks.


Kyle smirks right back. He grips the door knob and twists it. He quickly ducks out of the way as Cartman falls out of the house.


“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to decline your “most opportunistic” offer.” Kyle shouts after Cartman and slams the door shut.


“Ugh, what an asshole.” Kyle mutters as he presses his back against the closed, and locked, door.  


Kyle pushes off of the door and looks through the windows. He watches as Cartman and Cartman’s company take off for town.


“Fucking finally.”


Kyle sits back in the chair next to the landline. He looks at the radio on the table in front of him. Debating if Kyle should read or listen to the radio. He opts for the radio since he hasn’t listened to it in a while. Kyle flicks the radio on and tunes it to a station.


“The Broncos won twenty-six to twelve against the Baltimore Ravens. In other news, there are no reports of it yet, but we do have suspicion to believe that the bus from South Park that was heading Denver, has gone missing. We can only say that for a fact. The bus did not make it to Denver according to the schedule and still has not arrived. Now, the weather for tonight is going to be snowy with a slight chance of-” Kyle turns the radio off.


Kyle’s heart is in his ears. His tongue and throat are dry. His breath is stuck in his throat. That was Ike’s bus. That was his brother’s bus. That was the bus of that hold the only person Kyle really fucking cares about. Tears start to fall. Kyle gets up from his spot and stands. His brain, repeats the radio broadcast. They said missing. Not crashed, not dead. Just missing.


Kyle runs over to the coat rack and grabs his orange coat. He pulls on his boots and gloves. He pulls down on his ushanka. The road to Denver was behind Kyle’s cottage. He forces his back door open and slams it shut. Kyle takes off towards the road.




It’s the dead of night when Kyle finds the broken guard. His legs aching from hours of walking along the road. He goes over to the cliff side and looks down. There he sees the mangled bus. His heart drops. He just hopes to God that Ike is okay. Kyle’s just lucky the cliff, which is more like a hillside introspect, steep enough for Kyle to carefully yet easily climb down. He just thanks his parents for making him rock climb when he was ten.


Kyle gets to the ground and the smell of metallic slams into him. He plugs his nose with one hand and covers his mouth with the other. Kyle steadies his breathing then enters the bus. He is hit with the scene of the crabby bus driver, dead, with a tree branch through his chest. Kyle then walks down the aisle. He sees corpses of the passengers. Kyle notes that some passengers have what looks like to be bite marks on them. Kyle chalks it up to the indigenous wolf population around South Park. Kyle makes it to the back of the bus where he finds Ike’s duffle bag and Iphone. But no Ike. Kyle sighs in relief that Ike didn’t die from the crash. Kyle hurries out of the bus.


Looking around, Kyle finds footprints in the snow. He follows it. He notices small droplets of blood that surround the footprints. Kyle’s just glad that it’s not a lot. As he follows, Kyle notices a few other set of footprints. However, these footprints make Kyle stop in his tracks. These were a wolf’s print, and a pack of them no doubt. Kyle picks up the pace. He follows the footprints as they dodge and weave around trees. Until Kyle sees a large dark gate in a clearing.


“What is this place?” Kyle mutters to himself. He’s never heard of a castle being close to South Park.


Kyle knows Ike used the gate as an escape from the wolves. He pushes the gate open. It effortlessly opens against Kyle’s push. Kyle walks along the long courtyard. He takes in the dark visuals of the castle. His legs feel like giving out, but he continues. He pushes the large doors of the castle up.


“Hello? Hello? Ike? Are you here?” Kyle shuts the door behind him.


It’s pitch black within the castle. The only light source is from the candle holder.  He sees a large staircase. He walks up the staircase.




Tricia hops over to the red teapot.


“Red, did you hear? There’s a boy in the castle.” Tricia exclaims.


“Trix, stop daydreaming.”


“Really, cuz. I saw him.”


“Come on Trix. It’s time for a bath.”


Tricia rolls her eyes and hops into the bucket of water. She plays with the bubbles for a while until the door to the kitchen slams open.


“A boy! I saw a boy in the castle.” Phillip calls into the kitchen.


Tricia pops her head above the water. She glares at Red.


“See! I told you.”




Kyle walks down a hallway, taking in the architecture. If he wasn’t so scared for Ike’s life at the moment, Kyle would stop and examine some of these paintings.


“Ike!” Kyle calls out for his brother.


Suddenly, there was a creaking of a door behind him. He whips his head around to see a door sliding closed. He goes after it. He pushes the door open to see a winding staircase.


“Hello? Anyone here?” Kyle looks at the staircase to find a light source travelling up the staircase. “Wait! I’m looking for my brother, Ike.” He takes off after the light.


He climbs the stairs two at a time. He quickly gets to the top, but sees no one. The top of the staircase is not well lit. Dim lights hang from the ceiling.


“Shit. I could’ve sworn someone was here.” Kyle mumbles.


“Kyle?” Kyle hears a weak voice ask. Then a nasty sounding cough follows.


“Ike!” Kyle all but shreeks.


Kyle races over to where he heard Ike’s voice come from. He slides to his knees and wraps his hands tightly around the jail cell bars. Inside the cell is his little brother Ike. The boy’s hair was untamed. Sticking in every direction. His complexion is deathly pale, instead of the normal, healthy pale. Kyle watches as his brother’s shaky hands cover his gloved one. Kyle quickly takes off his gloves. He gripes Ike’s hands. Freezing. Kyle takes Ike’s hand and slips his glove onto Ike’s hand. He then proceeds to do it with the other hand.


“Ike, you’re hands are like ice.” Kyle mumbles sadly. Worry and concern take over Kyle’s emotions. It doesn’t help that Ike basically hacks up his lungs afterwards. “Don’t worry Ike. I’ll get you out of here.”


“Kyle, you have to go.” Ike wheezes out.


Kyle looks at his brother like he’s crazy.


“Are you kidding me?! I’m not going to leave you here.”


“You have to Kyle, or the-” Ike is cut off by Kyle being torn from his grip.


“Who are you? What are you doing here?” A voice growls.


Kyle lets out a gasp of surprise. He feels a large hand, no more of a paw, on his shoulder. He is forced to turn around by that hand. The lights flicker.


“Kyle, run!” Kyle hears Ike scream from behind him.


“Who’s there?” Kyle breathes.


“The Master of this castle.” The voice echoes off the walls.


“I’ve come for my brother. Please, let him out. He’s a boy and he’s sick.” Kyle pleads.


“He shouldn’t of trespassed here!” The voice rawrs.


Instead of being frightened by the intimidating voice, angry flows through Kyle. How could someone treat a boy like this just because he trespassed to get away from some wolves. Kyle could feel his eyebrows twitch. Kyle follows the silhouette. Even though the light prevents Kyle from fully seeing the man’s body. Kyle can clearly make out the man’s deep, rich, blue eyes.


“Listen here, asshole.” Kyle stands his ground. “I’m not going to let you keep my little brother here. He could die, damnit! I’ll do anything, just let Ike go.”


“There’s nothing you can do. He is my prisoner.”


“There’s got to be- Wait. I know. I’ll take his place.” Kyle stands up.


“You?” The voice snarls. “You would take his place?” A kinder, more gentil, voice asks.


“Kyle! No! Don’t do this.” Ike pleads.


Kyle stares at the silhouette. The silhouette gets closer to Kyle.


“If I do. Will you let him go?”


“Yes, but you must promise to stay here forever.” Kyle catches the bit of uncertainty the voice holds.Kyle looks at the silhouette, catching a glimpse of a furry raven haired paw.


“Come-come into the light.” Kyle offers.


As the dim light flickers, Kyle watches as a humanoid animal steps into the light. Kyle flinches. Covering the, lack for a better term, Beast is raven colored fur. Long and sharp looking nails are at his fingers and toes. The owner of the voice stands taller than Kyle by several inches. Honestly, Kyle’s shitting his pants at the sight. But the thing that keeps him stable and steady are the blue eyes that holds an array of emotions. Fear, guilt, uncertainty, anger, and sadness fill the Beast’s eyes. Despite all this, Kyle knows that he has to stand strong for his brother.


“Kyle, please, I can’t lose you too.”


Kyle puffs out his chest, noticing the slight shake of his body. He stands before the Beast.


“You- You have my word.”


Kyle hears the clicking of the cage being unlocked. He feels his brother’s body slam into his. Tiny arms wrap around his frame. Kyle instantly turns his body to correctly hug his brother.


“Don’t worry Ike. I’m old and you have your whole life ahead of you.”


Akyle can feel his brother’s tears through his jacket. Sounds of heavy footsteps approach the young boys. Kyle watches as the Beast rips Ike away from Kyle. Kyle feels his own tears streaming down his face.






The door closes, leaving Kyle in the dungeon. Kyle races with shaky legs over to the window. He watches as his brother leaves in a warped car. Kyle falls to his knees. He leans his back against the cold wall. He tucks his legs to his chest. Wrapping his arms around his legs. Stuffing his head against his legs. Kyle sobs out. To him, it was like losing his parents all over again. But worst since it is Ike.


The door to the dungeon slams open and Kyle refuses to look up from his knees.


“You fucking asshole! I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.” Kyle angrly sobs out. “He’s the only person I have left and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Oh, Ike.”


“I’ll- I’ll show you to your room.” The Beast says softly.


“My room? But I thought-”


“What? You want to stay in the tower?” The Beast waves his arms around.




“Then come on.”


With shaky legs, Kyle gets up and follows the Beast.




As they are walking down a hallway, Kyle can’t help to look at the design. Despite the gruesome statues, Kyle appauldes the detail in it. He knows that Ike would have loved looking at that dragon statue. However, this sets Kyle’s mind on his little brother. He lets a few tears fall. He quickly wipes them away before he full blown sobs. He has to stay strong. For himself. For Ike.


“Say something to him.” Kyle hears a low naggy voice say.


“Uh. I hope you like it here.” The Beast pauses. “The castle is your home now. You can go anywhere you like. Except for the West Wing.”


“Oh, yeah. ‘Cause this really screams home to me.” Kyle unconsciously sass. He can’t help it though. That’s what he does in awkward situations.


“Doesn’t everybody like dark and depressing?” The Beast asks.


Kyle snickers softly, but he could tell the Beast meant that as a real question.


“To each their own I suppose.” Kyle responds.


The tiny talk helps Kyle distract himself from the horrible situation at hand. Kyle watches as the candle holder smiles at the Beast. At this point Kyle’s not surprised that the objects of the house are alive. Honestly, it seems more fitting this way.


The Beast stops outside of a door. The Beast opens the door and gestures for Kyle to walk inside first. If this Beast didn’t just rip apart his only remaining family from him, Kyle would have mockingly called the Beast a gentleman. Kyle steps inside the room.


“Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend to you.” The Beast says softly.


“Dinner. Invite him to dinner.” The low voice from earlier whispers to the Beast.


“You, uh, you’ll come to dinner, right? Come to dinner, that’s final.” The Beast closes the door behind Kyle. Shutting the room off of any light.


Kyle drags his feet over to the bed, and flops onto the comfortablely soft mattress. He grabs a pillow and lets out every bit of emotion he was holding in.




The magical warped version of a car, throws Ike from his seat. Ike lands on the ground and rolls. Ike groans in pain as he lifts his head to watch the car drive back to that forsaken castle. Ike looks around to see that he’s at the edge of the town. Since it’s late, Ike knows that everyone’s at the bar drinking. That’s the usual thing to do at South Park. Ike gets to his feet and runs to the bar.


Ike pushes himself to get to the doors of the bar. His coughing and sneezing don’t help. Once the doors are in arms reach, Ike slams them open.


“Ike?” Ike hears many people call his name.


“Please you have to help.” Ike begs.


He drags himself over to the bartender, slamming his hands on the wooden surface.


“You’ve got to help.” Tears start to run down his face. “He’s got him locked in a dungeon!”


“Who?” The bartender asks.




“”Woah, woah, calm down there Ike. Who’s got Kyle locked in a dungeon?” Cartman walks up to the distressed boy.


“A- A Beast!” Ike faces Cartman.


Laughter fills the bar. Ike glares at everyone.


“Is it a big Beast?” A man sitting on a barstool next to Ike laughs.




“With a long, ugly, snout?” Someone calls out to Ike.


“Fucking terrifying.”


“Sharp cruel fangs?”


“Yes, you idiots! Yes! Now, will you help me?”


“Alright Ike, we’ll help you out.” Cartman says.


Ike feels a surge of relief, but it’s gone just as fast. Cartman grabs Ike by the jacket and drags him over to the door. Scott runs over and holds the door open for Cartman. With one good push, Ike is thrown out of the bar. He lands on the snowy ground around him. Ike lifts his head, and sees snow falling from the sky. Ike gets up and pushes himself to get back to the cottage. The boy cries all the way home.


Chapter Text

Bright lights shine down on everyone in the tent. Glasses full of wine, champagne, or some other light alcoholic drink. The chatter of guests echo throughout the party tent. The long table, stretching from side to side, a man in a bright orange tuxedo stands. He grabs his fancy glass and a spoon. He clashes metal and glass together, making a loud noise. Everyone silences at the sound.

“Alright, alright. That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Kenny cheers. “Now, everyone, give it up for the Man-of-Honor, Kyle Broflovski!”

With that, the man in orange sits. The man in a slick black tuxedo, that was sitting right next to him, stands. With a sorrowful smile, he grabs his glass and raises it.

“A toast to the groom.”

Everyone in the audience echoes his statement. “To the groom! To the groom! To the groom!”

Kyle looks over at his super best friend dressed in white. His eyes look longing at his friend’s smiling face. Kyle’s eyes shift to the bride.

“To the bride.”

Once again, the audience watching the toast, echoes Kyle’s words. “To the bride. To the bride.”

Kyle watches as the bride, Wendy Testaburger, smiles at her husband. Oh how does Kyle cringe at the word. Husband.

“From your best friend!” Kyle raises his glass with a forced smile on his face.

The peanut gallery shouts his name. “Kyle. Kyle. Kyle.” Wanting more of his speech.

“Who is always by your side.” Kyle tries to not sound like his about to break.

He can’t help it when his mind repeats those lyrics. “By your side. By your side.” Only if Stan new why he’ll always be there. With never ending loyalty. Only if Stan could figure it out.

“To your union.” Kyle hears people cheer, but he could only hear the breaking of his heart. “And the hope that you provide.” Kyle struggles to say the line.

He looks around. He watches the smiling faces of those around him.

“May you always.” Kyle pauses and raises his glass a tiny bit higher. “Be satisfied.”


Kyle hears the faint whisper on the wind. He looks around to see those smiling faces frozen. He watches as the scenery changes. No longer is he in a party tent, but now he is standing in his elementary school’s recess area. He looks around and spots a ten year old he playing alongside a ten year old Wendy. He remembers this. This was the day Stan moved to South Park. It was his first day of class. This was back when him and Wendy were still friends. Before he became Stan’s super best friend.

“I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days. I remember those playground kids tripping over themselves to win our praise.”

Kyle watches as some fifth grades walked up to Younger Kyle and Younger Wendy. They tripped over a snow pile and fell. Kyle smiles slightly at the memory.

“I remember that moonlight, starry night for the rest of my days.”

The scene changes again to later that night. Younger Wendy, Younger Cartman, Younger Kenny, and Younger Stan all offered to help get Ike back from the aliens.

“Like a dream that you can’t quite place. But, Stanley, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face.”

That night was the actual first time Kyle had gotten a good look at Stanley. He watches as his younger self’s face lights up like a blazing fire. He looks at Younger Stan’s kind smile.

“I have never been the same. Intelligent eyes and a hunger-pang frame, and when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name.”

Kyle laughs with sad eyes as he watches his younger self clamp up. He remembers the feeling. Dry throat, felt like it was swollen shut. Face feeling like it was on fire. He remembers looking into those bright and wild blue eyes. Those eyes, Kyle will always hold dear to his heart.

“Set my heart aflame ev’ry part of aflame. This is not a game.”

Kyle watches as everyone got into positions to bait out the aliens. Younger Stan and Younger Kyle were behind  a rock and Wendy and Kenny were behind a bush opposite from them.

“You strike me as a boy who’s never been satisfied.” Kyle watches as Younger Stan whispered into his younger self’s ear.

He watches as his younger self flinched and blushed. Only if he knew what loving Stan would lead to.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself.” Younger Kyle stuttered out.

“You’re like me. ” Younger Stan smiled. “I’ve never satisfied.”

“Is that right?” Younger Kyle questions.

“I’ve never been satisfied.”

Both young boys blushed. Kyle doesn’t want to look, but forces himself to do so.

“My name is Kyle Broflovski.”

“Stanley Marsh.”

“Where’s your family from?” Younger Kyle asks to start up a conversation as they waited for the aliens.

“Unimportant. There’s a million things that need to get done. But just you wait. Just you wait.”

Kyle watches as Younger Stan moves over to Younger Kenny. From the corner of Kyle’s eye, he could see Younger Wendy making her way over to Younger Kyle. Kyle looks over at Younger Kyle. He could see the sheer joy and absolute love for Stan on his face. He can hear the internal dialogue from Younger Kyle.

‘So, so, so! This is what it’s like to match wits with someone your level. What the hell is the catch? It’s a feeling of freedom and seein’ the light. It’s like Ben Franklin with a key and a kite. You see it, right? The conversation lasted two minutes. Maybe three minutes. Ev’rything we said in total agreement, it’s a dream’ Kyle watches as Younger Kyle put his face in his hands. The poor boy’s face exploded. ‘And it’s a bit of a dance. It’s a bit of a posture, a bit of a stance.’

Kyle looks over at Younger Stan who was talking to Younger Kenny.

‘He’s a bit of a nerd, but I’m ‘a give it a chance. I asked about his family. I listened to his answer. His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance? He’s probably penniless, flyin’ by the seat of his pants.’

Kyle watches Younger Stan. The boy took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. He turns back to Younger Kyle to see him in a blushing mess.

‘Handsome, boy, does he know it! Height, ha, he really can grow it. I want to take him far away from this place. Then I turn and see Wendy’s face and she is-’

Kyle watches as Younger Kyle looks to his right. There, Wendy’s smiling with love consuming her features. Kyle feels the pain in his heart as he watches Younger Kyle’s face break.


“And I know she is-” Kyle feels pressure build up behind his eyes.


“And her eyes are just-” Younger Kyle swiftly looks between Younger Wendy and Younger Stan.


“And I realized three fundamental truths at the exact same time.”

Kyle watches as Younger Wendy whispered something to Younger Kyle. He can see Younger Kyle’s world shatter. However, Younger Wendy’s so infatuated with Younger Stan that she didn’t even notice. Kyle could still hear the words she said to him that night, “ Yo, this one’s mine.” Those four words changed Kyle’s life for the worst.

Kyle watches, while tears roll down his eyes, as Younger Kyle puffs out his chest and walks over to Younger Stan. Younger Kyle grabs Younger Stan and starts to pull him over to Younger Wendy.

“Where are you taking me?”

“I’m about to change your life.” Younger Kyle looked back at Younger Stan with a sad and lifeless smile.

“By all means lead the way.”

“Number One.”

“I’m a boy in a world in which my only job is marry rich. My mother only birthed me, yet I’m the one with the most responsibility. I’m the oldest, and the wittiest, and the gossip in South Park is insidious. And Stanley is penniless. Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less.”

Kyle leans against a tree. Looking at the Young boy in the blue hat with a red puffball with longing.

“I’m Wendy Testaburger. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Wendy says with a wave.

“Testaburger?” Younger Stan looks at Younger Kyle.

“My friend.” Kyle’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Number Two.”

“He’s after me because I’m a Broflovski, that elevates his status. I’d have to be naive to set that aside. Maybe that is why. I introduced him to Wendy, now that’s his bride. Nice going Kyle, he was right. You’ll never be satisfied.”

“Thank you for all you’ve done.”

“If it takes helping Kyle get his little brother back from aliens for us to meet. Then it will have been worth it.”

“I’ll leave you too it.” Younger Kyle stands off to the side. Trying not to cry. He turns around, and starts to walk off.

“Number Three.”

“I used to know Wendy, like I know my own mind. You’ll never find anyone as trusted or as kind.” Kyle feels that pressure behind his eyes break. Tears start flowing from his eyes. “If I tell her that I love him, She’d probably go and cry. He’d be mine. She would say “It’s fine.””

“She’d be lying!”

Kyle watches as Younger Kyle goes over to Younger Kenny. The poor boy in the ushanka silently cries on Younger Kenny’s shoulder. Kyle can’t look anymore. He gets up from his spot on the ground, and walks away. The scene slowly changes to Stark’s Pond. He sits on one of the benches.

“But when I fantasize at night, it’s Stanley’s eyes. As I romanticize what might have been if I didn’t size him up so quickly.”

Kyle looks to his left and sees a faint image of Stanley. Kyle whips away his tears. He leans his head on the image.

“At least my dear old friend is his wife. At least I can keep his eyes in my life.”

Everything vanishes and Kyle is back at the party. Everyone is looking at him in anticipation. Waiting to see what the next part of the toast is going to be. Tears start sliding from his eyes once again. Kyle takes a breath, and raises his glass swifty. Some of the liquid inside the cup spills out.

“To the groom!” Kyle looks at Stan. Eyes blurry from tears, but he can still see those bright blue orbs.

“To the groom, the groom.” The audience cheers.

“To the bride.” Kyle forces his smile.

“To the bride.” The audience sings out.

“From your best friend! Who is always by your side.”

Kyle watches as Stan and Wendy, hands linked, takes their own glasses and raise them.

“To your union!” Kyle raises his glass higher. “And the hope that you provide!”

Tears gush out of Kyle’s eyes.

“May you always! Be satisfied. And I know, she’ll be happy as his bride.”

Everyone hugs and dances. Kyle watches as Wendy and Stan hug. He watches as many people surround them. Congratulating them on their marriage. Kyle, silently, exits the tent. He drops to his knees as soon as he hits the snowy ground. He pushes his hands to his eyes and sobs.

“And I know. He will never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied.”


Chapter Text

This day was going so well. Or, at least, that was what Kyle thought before he saw his best friend.

As Kyle was walking to Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse, he saw Stan laying on the snowy ground. Kyle sighed and walked over to Stan. As he neared him, the smell of alcohol hit Kyle like a truck. Kyle had to pinch his nose because of the strong scent.

“Ugh, Stan, really?” Kyle asks his unconscious friend.

Kyle looked around and saw some little kids laughing and point at their direction. Kyle glares at his super best friend.

“I fucking hate you right now.”

Kyle slowly layed down on the snowy grass. To the right of Stan. He took his right hand and tucked it underneath his head.

Kyle watches the sky as he recalls the series of events that lead to him laying in the grass. Kyle hopes Stan’s grateful for this. Or least, he’s going to buy Kyle Red Dead Redemption. For fuck’s sake, Kyle had to miss getting coffee for this.

“Ugh, my fucking head.” Stan mutters.

Kyle hears shifting from Stan, but his eyes stay on the sky.

“Hey, Kyle. Why are we lying in the snow?”

“Because your dumbass most likely got drunk and fell asleep here.”

Kyle looks at Stan through his peripheral vision.

“So I laid down next to you so everyone would think we were chilling. Making snow angels or something.”

Kyle watches as Stan pushes himself into a sitting position. Stan’s hand flies to his head.

“Why didn’t you bring me home or wake me?”

Kyle sits up as well. Giving Stan a deadpan look.

“Dude you’re heavy as hell. And when you pass out like this, you won’t wake to anything. Trust me I’ve tried before.”

Kyle stands up and stretches. After, he sticks out his hand for Stan to grab on to. Kyle smiles gentilly, hoping to seem encouraging. Kyle knows that Stan only drinks heavily when he’s depressed. The nicer Kyle is, the better.

Stan looks at the hand hesitantly. Debating whether or not to take it. He looks up to see Kyle’s smiling face. Kyle watches as Stan’s hand slowly grabs onto Kyle’s. Kyle gentilly helps Stan to his feet. Kyle wraps Stan’s arm around his neck. The two boys head back to Stan’s house.




A day later, Stan knocks on Kyle’s door. From behind the door, a loud sneeze could be heard.

“Ah, Kyle, it’s me Stan.”

“I know.” Kyle’s raspy voice says from behind the door. “You can come in.”

Stan opens the door, present in hand.

When he enters, Kyle’s sickly pale frame turns to look at him.

“You’re probably the only person who would visit me while I’m sick.”

Stan nervously laughs. It was his fault that Kyle is sick.

“I’m sorry.”

Stan gives Kyle the present. Kyle weakly unwraps it. The sick boy’s eyes shine with happiness.

“Aw, sick dude! Red Dead Two. I wanted this.”

“Well it’s the least I could do, since you got sick because of me. And I bought another copy for myself so we can play online with each other.”

“Cool.” Kyle coughs into his hand. “You better go before you get sick.”

“Later, dude.”

With that, Stan exits Kyle’s room.


Chapter Text

Days after Christmas and Hanukkah. It was now the thirty-first of December.

Kyle stands in his room looking at the mirror. He grabs and shifts it. Tonight was the night. Kyle is going to kiss Stan.

A few days ago Sheila Broflovski told her son to think up some New Year’s resolutions. Kyle, being the clever genius he is, booted up his computer to look some up online. While he was looking up some resolutions, Kyle got interested in the whole idea of this New Year’s traditions. He typed in the search bar, ‘New Year’s traditions.’ The first thing he saw was a link to a website that had 14 Classic New Year’s Eve Traditions. He clicked on that site. As he was looking them over, number twelve caught his eye. “Countdown And Kiss at Midnight.” Kyle definitely didn’t blush at that one. However, this is where the idea came from.

Now, Kyle is determined to kiss Stan at midnight. Plus, if Stan gets mad it him, he can always say it’s just a tradition.

Kyle straightens his white dress shirt. Remembering the article saying to dress up. He puts his black belt through the loops of his black dress pants. He fastens his belt. Kyle smiles as he sees himself in the mirror. He’s ready for the party. Kyle exits his room and walks down the stairs.

“Oh! Bubbie, you look so handsome!”

Kyle looks over at his mother. She is wearing her favorite blue dress and black flats.

“Thanks mom.”

“Is everybody ready?” Sheila shouts. Her voice resonating throughout the house.

Ike comes barreling down the stairs. Wearing some nice brown dress pants and his favorite light blue hoodie. Kyle turns as he hears noise coming from the kitchen.

“All good. Let’s go.”

Gerald Broflovski comes out from the kitchen with a pack of beer in his hands.

“What’s that for?” Sheila questions.

“Randy texted me to bring some beer over.”

“Well, alright. But make sure only adults get that.”

Kyle hopes only adults drink that. He doesn’t want his first kiss with Stan to be when his super best friend is drunk. Kyle sighs as he heads for the door.

“I’m going to go.”

With that he opens the door and exits his house.

“Bubbie, wait for us.”

Kyle goes down to the sidewalk and waits. He looks to the left to see Stan’s house. He looks back at his door to see his family exiting the house. Once they get to Kyle they start walking over to Stan’s. Kyle starts to feel butterflies invade his stomach. However, his resolve still stands. No matter what happens tonight. He is going to kiss Stan.

After the short walk, they knock on Stan’s door. The door opens almost instantly. There is Randy’s smiling face.

“Oh, hey guys, glad you could make it.” Randy moves out of the doorway.

Kyle can’t help but feel a tad bit disappointed that Stan didn’t answer the door.

“Thanks for inviting us.” Gerald says to Randy.

The two men start to chat, and Sheila instantly goes to Sharron’s side. Leaving Ike and Kyle alone by the front door. Kyle looks over to Ike. Ike looks back at Kyle.

“What to hangout with Stan and I?”


The two boys head upstairs. They both instantly make their way to Stan’s room. They knock on the door. After a moment or two, Stan opens the door. Kyle watches as Stan pauses for a bit, but then lets Kyle and Ike in. However, Kyle starts to feel a little embarrassed since Randy, and now Stan, are both wearing their casual attire.

“Hey, dude, you got here like ten minutes early.”

Kyle laughs, “Of course we did Stan. We live right next door.”

Stan goes over and sits on his bed.

“Can I play on your computer?” Ike asks.

Stan smiles and nods at the boy. Ike runs over and practically jumps onto the chair. Ike powers up the computer and puts on the headphones.

Kyle just sighs at his brother’s antics. He goes over and sits next to Stan.

“So, what’s your New Year’s resolution?” Kyle asks.

Stan sighs loudly and leans back onto his bed.

“I thought it over, like a million times, but I couldn’t really think of anything. Maybe do better at football? I don’t know.”

“Dude, I don’t think you could get any better at football. You’re already the best player on the team.” Kyle laughs softly.

“You’re really not helping, Kyle.”

“That means my plan is going perfectly.”

“Oh, shut up.” Stan tucks his arms under his head. He tilts his head so he can look at Kyle. “What about you?”


“Your resolution.”

“Oh.” Kyle’s face flares up.


“W-Well, I wanted to confess someone by the end of the night.”

Stan stares at Kyle and Kyle avoids the eye contact like the plague. His face getting ever so hotter.

“Wait. Confess?”

Kyle wants to hit the boy. Hopefully knocking some common sense into him.

“Yes, Stan, confess. As in tell someone I like them.”

Kyle watches as Stan’s face tenses then goes into a strained smile. It leaves Kyle wondering.

“Well, who’s the lucky someone?”

“Lets just say you know them.”

“Dud, we know like everyone in this town.”


“Stanley, Kyle, Ike, it’s time to come down. People are about to show up.” Sharron yells from the bottom of the stairs.

“Coming mom.” Stan yells back.

Kyle sighs in relief and silently thanks Mrs. Marsh. It was a serious close call. Kyle watches as Stan exits his room to go talk to his mother. Kyle gets up and walks over to Ike, only for Ike to take off the headphones.

“You both are sad.”

Kyle stares in bewilderment at his brother.

“What do you mean by that?”

“So oblivious. The both of you.”

With that, Ike shuts down the computer and exits the room. Kyle wonders what Ike even means with that. Kyle shrugs and exits Stan’s room. Closing the door behind him. He heads down the stairs and sees the McCormick family entering the house. No one from the family is dressed for the occasion.

“Hey, Kenny.” Kyle says as he walks up to the boy in orange.

“Look at you Kyle, dressed up so nicely.” Kyle can’t help the blush that spreads onto his face.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Dressed up for that kiss tonight?”

Kyle, with his whole heart, regrets ever mentioning that he likes Stan to Kenny. No matter the day, Kenny always has a way to tease Kyle about his crush. Kyle has realized that Kenny is the absolute worst.

“Kenny, I swear to fucking God.” Kyle can feel his blush intensify.

“Your just so fun to tease.”

“I hate you with every fiber of my being.”

“Oh, hey Kenny.” Stan walks up to the two.

“Hey, Stan.” Kenny waves.

“So, who else is showing up to this thing?” Kenny asks.

“I have no idea. My dad just invited everyone I think.”

Suddenly a knock at the door is heard. Kyle turns around and watches as Stan goes and opens the door.

“Sup, assholes.” Cartman says as he walks through the door.

Kyle pinches the bridge of his nose ion annoyance. Of course Cartman had to show at the party. He knows the fatass is going to make fun of him for trying to kiss Stan. Kyle feels his determination slipping.

“Hey, don’t worry about Cartman.” Kenny whispers in Kyle’s ear. Kyle completely forgot that he told Kenny about his plan earlier this week. “I’ll try and keep him busy so you can get your man.”

Kyle twists his head and gives Kenny a small smile.

“Thanks Kenny.”

“Sup, fags.” Cartman and Stan walk over to Kenny and Kyle.

“Shut up Cartman.” Kyle yells at Cartman. “We are not fags.”

“Well, I mean if there as boy or girl out there ready to do some dirty thing, I’m always down.”

“Kenny, honestly, you are not helping.”

“Didn’t plan too.”

“Get a room.” Cartman scoffs.

Kyle rolls his eyes and ignores Cartman. He looks over at Stan to see him staring at Kyle. Kyle cannot place the look Stan is giving him.

“Why don’t we play Uno in my room.”

The three boys look at Stan.

“Are you trying to ruin what little friendship we have?” Kenny’s voice holds some mirth.

“Oh, I am so down.” Kyle smiles.

“Alright, lets go.” Stan says and runs up the stairs.

The rest of the boys follow.For the next hour and a half they play uno. During this hour and a half, more people would join the game. Clyde was the first, then Token, then Tweek and Craig, and so on and so forth. It got to the point where insanity was reached. Kyle and Stan teamed up together. Kenny formed an alliance with Butters, Craig, and Tweek. Clyde cried on Token’s shoulder since we was the first one to get thirty cards. He would look over and try to look at other people’s cards so he could get Token to win. Bebe, Red, and Nicole would gang up and try to take out Token. Cartman got both Tweek and Butters to twenty-five cards, somehow. Kenny and Craig were not pleased in the slightest. When everyone was forced to come back downstairs, since it was thirty minutes to the ball drop, Ike was winning with three cards left.

Once everyone got downstairs, they could see that the adults are partying it up. Alcohol in one hand and a bunch of streamers or noise makers in the other. Kyle rolls his eyes as he sees his father and Randy Marsh drunk off their asses.

“I can’t believe Ike was winning.” Kyle says to Stan.

Stan laughs and looks over at Kyle.

“I just can’t believe you pulled that plus four on Cartman. Holy shit he was pissed.”

Kyle laughs at the memory.

“And I can’t believe you played that reverse card. Cartman was so going to fuck me over with that plus four that he had.”

“Don’t worry Kyle, your knight in shining armor is here to protect you from the evil wizard and his plus four cards.”

Kyle laughs and nodges Stan with his elbow. Stan laughs along with Kyle. The two boys laugh and smile at each other. A moment of true joy.

However, happy moments don’t last forever. Kyle hears the front door open through all the chatting.

“Ah! Testaburger!” Kyle hears someone shout.

Kyle tenses. All joy he was feeling freezes over. He watches as Stan turns to look at the front door. Kyle look as well. There, walking into the house with a smile on her face, is Wendy Testaburger. She was wearing a purple dress with her usual pink hat. A feeling of dread fills in Kyle’s stomach. Kyle looks at Stan’s eyes. He could see the longing look Stan is giving Wendy. Sure, Stan and Wendy broke up after the whole Skank Hunt incident and haven’t gotten back together. That doesn’t mean Stan is still over her.

“You- You should go and talk to her.” Kyle whispers to Stan. Head pointing down towards his shoes.

Stan looks at Kyle with confusion. However, before Stan could say anything, Kyle talks.

“I’m going to talk to Kenny.”

Kyle looks up and quickly finds Kenny. Once he sees the boy in orange, he takes off.

“Sup Kyle.” Kenny says as Kyle walks up to him.

“Hello Kyle.” Butters says.

Kyle knows Kenny and Butters are secretly a couple.However, they haven’t told anyone else since they don’t want Butters to get an ultimate grounding. The only reason Kyle knows is because he walked into the boys bathroom while they were making out. It was the most awkward moment of Kyle’s life.

“Wendy’s here.” Kyle’s voice cracks as he tries to not cry.

Kyle watches as Kenny looks around Kyle to see Stan and Wendy talking. Kenny looks at Kyle’s broken down face.

“Aw, come here Kyle.” Kenny opens up his arms.

Taking the hint, Kyle wraps his own arms around Kenny’s body. He could feel Kenny’s arms wrap around himself.

“Group hug!” Butters cheers.

Another pair of arms wrap around Kyle. Kyle laughs as he gets squished in between the two.

“Fifteen minutes!” Someone shouts.

The three get out of the hug. Kyle watches as everyone gathers around the television. Kyle, Kenny, Butters make their way to the television. As people gather, Kyle gets pushed over to Stan. Now, standing in a line is Butters, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Wendy. Kyle looks at Stan.

“You ready for the New Year?” Kyle asks.

“You ready to confess?” Stan counters.

Kyle blushes and nudges Stan.

“Shut up Stan. Did you think of a resolution?”

“Yeah. I did.”

Kyle looks over to his super best friend. Wanting to ask what his resolution is. However, the countdown begins.

“Ten!” The ball begins to descend.


Kyle looks over at Stan. His determination stilling. He’s going to do this.




Kyle breathes in then breathes out.  




Kyle’s nerves start to flutters.


Kyle turns to Stan.


Kyle watches as Stan quickly turns to him. Shock quickly fills Kyle’s system. Both Stan and Kyle lean into each other. Their lips meet.

“Happy New Year’s!”

Kyle melts into the kiss. Despite Stan’s chapped lips, Kyle presses his lips against Stan’s. Kyle feels anxious for a bit. Stan’s lips feel limp against Kyle’s. It takes a moment, then Stan’s lips are pressing against Kyle’s. Almost hungrily. Kyle can feel his heart fill with love. Kyle can hear some hoots and hollers around him.

“Get some Kyle!”

“Yeah, Stan! Get your man!”

Stan and Kyle break apart. Stan leans his forehead on Kyle’s. Blue eyes meet green. Kyle can feel his face flare up.

“So? I’m the person you like?” Stan asks.

“I think that kiss answers that question.” Kyle looks at Stan’s lips. Refusing to meet Stan’s eyes.

“Hey, look at me.” Stan startles Kyle. Kyle’s eyes look at Stan’s. “I like you too.”

“Ah, this is so cute!” Kenny interrupts the moment.

Kyle takes his head away from Stan. He whips it over to Kenny. Kyle gives Kenny a fierce glare.

“Lets go.” Stan whispers and takes Kyle’s hand.

Stan leads Kyle out the front door. Kyle could hear cheers as the two boys leave the building. Stan stops and faces Kyle. The cold air hitting their skins, but they don’t notice.

“I thought you liked Wendy.”

“And I thought you liked Kenny.”

“Really? Ew, why?” Kyle looks at Stan like he is delusional. “I wouldn’t like Kenny if he was the last guy on Earth. Plus, he’s secretly with Butters. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

“It’s just that- you guys were so close when he got here. You were whispering to each other and what Cartman said. Plus you stopped talking to me and went over to Kenny and hugged him. What was that about?”

“Kenny knew that I like you, so when Wendy showed I went over to Kenny. I guess he could tell how upset I was that she showed up. So, we hugged. And you can’t be mad because Butters joined in.”

“I wasn’t mad. I guess you could say I was jealous. I thought Kenny was the one you were going to confess too. I wanted to be the one you liked.” Stan rubs the back of his neck.

Kyle’s blush intensifies either from the cold air or the thought of Stan being jealous.

“Well, I was jealous too. I thought you were going to kiss Wendy at midnight.”

“No way. When you left, we talked. We both agreed that we won’t get back together. Since, we both like other people. You have nothing to worry about.”


Kyle leans in and kiss Stan. Snow falls down around them. Stan leans in as well.


A perfect start to the New Year.

Chapter Text

Kyle can hear screams all around him. Yet, he nonchalantly walks to his locker.

“Hey Kyle.”

Kyle turns to see Stan leaning against the lockers. Kyle can hear gunshots around the corner.

“Hey Stan, is this another school shooting?”

“Yeah. Isn’t this like the third one this week?”

“I think so. What’s up with this week?”

“I don’t know dude. So, what are you up to after school?”

“Well, I’m going to watch Ike’s hockey game. After that I’m free.”

“Cool dude. Do you think I can come over so we can play some Red Dead?”

“Sure dude. Are you going to need a ride or-”

Kyle cuts himself off as he looks behind Stan. Eyes look into the barrel of the gun. His eyes instantly go to the trigger. It was as if everything was in slow motion. Kyle could see the man’s finger twitch on the trigger.

“Kyle what’s wrong?”

Kyle can hear Stan’s voice in the background. However, Kyle ignores it. He watches as that finger clenches around the trigger. Kyle doesn’t even recognise that his body is moving. He doesn’t even realize that he dropped his books. He watches as he pushes Stan out of the bullet’s way. However, there wasn’t enough time for him to get out of the way. Kyle could hear the gun’s loud bang resonate throughout the hallway. Suddenly, Kyle could feel a pinch and then an agonizing pain starts in his left shoulder. He cries out in pain. The impact left Kyle unstable on his feet. He drops to his knees and puts pressure on his bleeding shoulder. Through blurry eyes, Kyle watches as a police officer shoots at the school shooter.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Kyle!” Stan is at Kyle’s side. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”

Kyle tries to look at Stan, but his tears get in the way. He yelps in pain as Stan tries to put pressure on the wound.

“S-Stan?” Kyle whispers.

“Sh, Kyle, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” Kyle can tell Stan is crying by the tone of the other boy’s voice.

“It hurts Stan.”

“Don’t worry. I’m going to get you an ambulance. Yeah, an ambulance. They’ll know what to do.”

Kyle doesn’t even hear the footsteps approach the two.

“Son, you need to move so I can get this boy the medical assistance he needs.”

Through the tears, Kyle could make out the blue uniform of the police officer. Kyle could feel Stan’s heat move away from him. He misses Stan comforting presence.

“Can you walk?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Where does it hurt?”


“Alright, I’m going to call the paramedics to come get you.”

“Okay.” Kyle breathes out. “Stan, you okay?”

“I’m not the one with a fucking bullet in their shoulder.” Stan says.

Suddenly, fatigue hits Kyle like a truck. Eyelids slowly closing.

“Stan, I’m tired.” Kyle is surprised at the slur to his voice and how softly it came out.

“No, no, no, Kyle, you got to stay awake. You can’t fall asleep on me. Stay awake.” Stan turns to the police officer. “We need to get him help!”

“Please son, you need to calm down. I’ve radioed for the ambulance to come in and get him.”

“He’s bleeding out! You dumb fuck, get him some help!” Stan yells at the officer.

“I can’t touch him without his consent.”

Stan glares at the officer then turns back to Kyle to see the boy now laying on his back. Eyes closed and slacked against the floor. Blood spilling out around him.


Stan watches his friend for any movement. He looks at Kyle’s pale face. Unmoving yet somehow peaceful despite the chaos surrounding them.


Stan, with bloody hands, quickly goes to Kyle’s hand. He grips the jewish boy’s wrist and is unsettled by the way Kyle’s wrist flops over. He puts two fingers to Kyle’s wrist, trying to find the boy’s pulse.

“Come on Kyle, come on, wake up, wake up.” Stan mumbles out. Tears start to stream down his cheeks.

“Son, you need to let the boy go so the medics can take him to the hospital.”

Stan’s head snaps up to the officer. He sees two medics and a gurney. Stan nods and slowly lets go of Kyle’s wrist. He watches as one of the medics swiftly picks Kyle up and places him on the gurney. Stan watches as the men take off with Kyle. He stays on his knees as he watches them leave. With shaky legs, he stands up. He can hear the policeman talk to him, but his mind is numb. Replaying the horrible scene in his mind. The vivid replaying of Kyle pushing him out of the way, and getting shot. Seeing the bullet puncture his best friend’s shoulder.

“Son, are you okay?”

Stan looks around to see himself standing outside of the school. Blanket over his shoulders.

“Do you want to call your parents?” A police officer asks. Stan nods.

The man gave Stan a cell phone, and he instantly calls his mother. After about two rings she answers.

“Hello? Sharon Marsh speaking.”

“Mom,” Stan’s voice is quiet and shaky. “I- I need you to come to the school. There’s been a shooting and-” Stan cuts himself off. Trying to regain himself. “Kyle’s been shot. I- I don’t know what to do. He was bleeding everywhere and suddenly his eyes closed. And I need to go to the hospital. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Stan, sweetie, mommy is a bit busy right now. I’ll come and pick you up after school.”

His mother hangs up.

Stan stares at the phone in disbelief. Shocked at how his mother’s tone changed. How little she cared about the situation. Stan, with numb hands, quickly enters another phone number.

“Hello, Gerald Broflovski here.” Judging by Gerald’s voice, the Broflovski’s didn’t get the news yet.

“Mister Broflovski?”

Ah Stan, it’s been awhile. How’ve you been?”

“I’m- I’m not that great.” Stan tries to steady his breathing. “There’s been a shooting at school and- and Kyle got- he’s been-” Stan can feel a new wave of tears slide down his face. “Kyle’s been shot. He’s on his way to the hospital right now, but I don’t know if he’s okay or not.”

The other end of the phone call was silent. Stan’s hand starts to shake with nerves.

“Kyle’s been shot?” Stan’s never heard Gerald speak so softly.

“Yeah, we were talking in the hallway and he suddenly stopped and pushed me out of the way. He- He took the bullet in the shoulder and there was so much blood and-”

“Stan, calm down. Take a deep breath. Alright, do as I say. Breath in. One. Two. Breath out. One. Two. A keep doing that.”

Stan follows Gerald’s command.

“Okay, okay, I’m good. Sorry about that.”

“You’re okay Stan. I bet that was really scary to witness.”

“It was.”

“Is your parents going to pick you up?”


“Listen, this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to you up and we are going to go back to your house.”

“But I want to go see Kyle. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Trust me you will. But you need to calm down as well Stan. Just stay there and wait.”


With that, Stan hands the phone back to the man. He waits.




It’s about half an hour later, a familiar red car pulls up in the school parking lot. The car parks and Gerald Broflovski gets out. He walks over to Stan, who still has the blanket on his shoulders.

“Hey there Stan.”

“Mister Broflovski, how is everyone?”

“Sheila didn’t take it to well. I dropped off Sheila and Ike at Hells Pass. They are waiting for Kyle to get out of surgery.”

Stan nods and watches as Gerald goes over to a police officer. He watches them talk but he can’t hear a thing. After a moment, Gerald walks back over with a sad smile on his face.

“I can take you home now Stan.”

Stan nods and follows Gerald to the car. Stan gets in the car and looks out of the window with a far away look.




Stan walks through Hells Pass’ doors. The smell of disinfectant and sadness hits him. He looks over at the waiting room to see many people waiting. He shudders as he feels multiple people look at him. He walks to the front of the desk.

“I’m here to see Kyle Broflovski.”

The nurse, typing at her computer, glances over the counter quickly.

“Room two hundred twenty-eight.”

Stan nods and walks down the hallway. He speeds walks up the stairs to the second floor. He all but flies over to the room Kyle’s in. He sees Kyle laying there peacefully. He watches as Kyle’s eyes slowly open, most likely from the drugs.

“Hey Stan.” Kyle murmurs.

“Hey Kyle, how are you?”

Stan walks over to the chair next to Kyle’s bed. He looks around the room, not finding any evidence to show that Kyle’s family was there.

“I’m fine Stan. A bit drowsy but I think I’m okay.”

Stan smiles at Kyle. He takes Kyle’s hand in his.

“Are you here alone?” Kyle asks.

“Yeah, my parents dropped me off.”

Stan gentally grips Kyle’s hand. Afraid that if he lets go, Kyle won’t be there alive.

“What did the doctors say?”

“I was shot left shoulder. They’re glad that it didn’t hit anything important. I just can’t use it for a while.” Kyle smiles at Stan.

Stan feels a rush of relief. His super best friend is going to be fine. Kyle’s going to be fine. He’s fine.

“You okay Stan?”

Stan looks Kyle dead in the eye.

“I’m not the one in a hospital’s bed.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re okay.”

Stan lets go of Kyle’s hand and he presses his hands against his face. Dragging his hands against his skin in exhaustion.

“I’m okay now. I’ve been so worried that you were going to die.”

Kyle quickly grabs Stan’s wrist. He pulls Stan’s hand away from his face and slides his own hand into it. He intertwines his hand in Stan’s.

“I don’t want to die until you do.” Kyle smiles.

“I don’t want you to die until I do.” Stan smiles back.

This promise. It is dear and near to both of their hearts. The day Kyle almost died of Kidney failure Stan promised Kyle to not die before him. The promise to live not for oneself. But for each other.