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Amelia's Crush

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It wasn't that late for Amelia to be visiting, but nobody was at the house belonging to the professor and Chelshia. She felt guilty coming in, but they probably wouldn't mind her using their Switch.

The professor had given Amelia the keys to their house for science purposes, but Amelia would often come over for game sessions. Usually it was with Chelshia, but today the house was empty. It was a shame because she had brought Anchovi over, and she didn't want to turn Anchovi away from a game night.

The two started playing the latest fighting game. Amelia was always shocked by the island's ability to acquire modern tech. No cars or planes, but high speed wifi and readily available new games and movies? This was absolutely a tradeoff Amelia could make. 

Amelia was telling Anchovi about the main character in one of the latest anime movies when her friend teasingly said, "so when are you gonna marry this gal? You sound absolutely in love with them."

"I wish. Although she'd be terrible to live with. Beyond the whole gun-ho don't--are-what-anyone-says thing she's not that interesting."

Anchovi snickered at this. Amelia chose not to comment.

"Probably not a great wife IRL. I'm marrying real people."

"Oh? You have someone in mind?"


Amelia chose to say nothing, instead focusing on controlling her character. If Amelia was a stranger, Anchovi social skills would have left her stranded in an akward conversation, but today was different. Anchovi and Amelia had spent years looting and pillaging together. You don't do that without learning a few things about one another.

One thing Anchovi knew was that Amelia never shut up. Which means-

"Do you have a crush on someone?"


"Hehe, this is getting fun. Who’s the lucky gal?"

"T-t-t-there is n-not-"

"Pfft, with that stutter? Didn't know you were part bird, part girl, and part thirsty."

"That doesn't make sense. Thirst is not a part of my biology the way birds and humans are."

"Then you can explain why after you tell me who it is!"

"T-that isn't possible."

"C'mon, your old pal Anchovi is here to help you out. You can tell me who it is."


"Wait... It's not me, right?"


"Ok good. That would have been hella awkward."

Anchovi turned her focus back on the game for a little. The question of who Amelia's crush was lingered during the game. Their old captain creeped Amelia out being a spider and all, Mimi was nobody's crush, and Anchovi wasn't it. That only left... the rest of the island. 

Ugh thinking about this via guessing is hard.

Anchovi's distracted nature lead to another death. The match was lost, Amelia had won. Amelia said something like, but Anchovi wasn't listening. She figured the easiest way to find out Tweetle dee's crush was just to ask directly.

"The professor?"


"Is it the professor?"

"N-no! Even if I did we have an age gap!"

"Age gap? What's that?"

Amelia pushed up her glasses, instantly looking more comfortable. "Well, an age gap is the difference in years alive two mates are. This isn't important to monsters, but when humans and non-monster animals are searching for a mate, one thing they look for is an equal level of maturity. Age happens to be a good judge of maturity, so most non-monsters will look for others close to their age to mate."

Amelia lifted her feathers and looked at her companion.

"Ehh... who cares about that stuff."


Grumbling, Anchovi started the next game. Amelia knew an aweful lot about human mating habits, but if she was right the professor was a no-go. That only really left-



"Is it Chelshia?"

"Stop- ugh. Just don't try and guess my crush." Amelia’s voice squeaked in a remarkably bird like fashion.

"It is Chelshia! Your voice is giving you away."

"It... Is it?" 

Amelia looked so concerned about her voice giving her crush away Anchovi felt bad. Insecurities were a cruel thing.

"Nah, I just guessed." Amelia stuck her tongue out at her feathered friend.

"Don't tell anyone. I don't even think Chel understands mating stuff."

"My lips are sealed. Figuratively."

The continued to play the game, but Anchovi couldn't help but keep the topic going.

"So, what's the plan bird genius? Going to ask her out?"

"For now, no. As enticing the idea is, Chelshia has a lot of maturing to do still in her life. Despite her intelligence, ability to speak, and raw power it's important to remember that Chelshia be able to collect life experience."

"Ugh, why all the philosophy. Surely, she can get life experience with you. Like being with a girlfriend in Japan when the pink trees are blooming."

Anchovi nudges Amelia's side.

"Ugh. Leave to you to want a cheesy romance."

Anchovi, being a slime pizza, had no comment. Amelia continued, "You're right, but I'd like her to learn about the world without me at her side. Also, I read online relationships that start off as friends last longer and are more likely to reach the marriage stage."

Anchovi paused the game to look at her friend. Amelia coughed into her hand.

"That is a minor benefit of course."

"An online article? You're basing your decisions off a quick search? Ooh, I can hear the engineers around the world crying."

"Online sources most certainly can be good enough to make decisions off of. Not on engineering or science-based searches mind, but that's only because of stupid human politics."

"Hah, as if. I bet you just wanted an excuse to not ask her out."

"I'm not- I did my research to make sure I asked her out at an appropriate time."

"Man, no wonder you needed the internet. You're clueless."

"And you burglars are about to be sorry!"

Uh oh, this was a new, but familiar voice. Anchovi and Amelia barely had time to register Chelshia had entered the house before they were both launched with the couch straight into the ceiling.

"Hah! Maybe 'switch' your life choices next time."

Amelia and Anchovi fell with the couch, groaning.


It turns out the professor has come home partway into their discussion. Thankfully for Amelia, the professor assumed he was being robbed when he found his door left open and voices in his house. Naturally he ran off to get Chelshia to rid his house of burgers.

Chelshia really knew how to knock Amelia off her feet.