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Nope Out

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“That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard! ... So! It's still a stupid idea. ... Well we don’t which makes the idea even stupider!”

“Juvia can imagine.”

“What the hell kinda good is an imaginary picnic?”

“If Juvia imagines the picnic she can imagine all the most perfect food and it won’t even get wet in the rain! It will be perf-”

“Shut it. I smell somethin.”

The three Fairies had fallen completely silent once the rain had started. They had all agreed to let the newcomers approach them if it was an option. In truth Alanza had been about vibrating since the first raindrop fell from a previously clear sky. When she heard Gajeel’s rough voice she started doing mental backflips and highfiving herself. Laxus had given her an odd look, likely smelling her excitement or hearing her heart rate pick up. Who knew. She had yet to talk to him about dragon slayer senses. Not that he was her choice for inside info on slayers, just her only source so far.

“Has Gajeel located an enemy?” The tone of Juvia’s voice had completely changed. At first she had almost sounded like Fairy Tail’s Juvia. Now she had returned to the empty, robotic Rain Woman of Phantom Lord.

Gajeel let out a loud growl, prompting what was probably an instinctual response from Laxus. Alanza could have facepalmed in that moment. She was so stupid. She had brought an aggressive dragon slayer to meet another aggressive dragon slayer. She so should have thought of this. The slayers always fought when they first met. Every single one except Wendy.

“Laxus what are you doing?” And then there was Levy who still didn’t know about Laxus’s little lacrima issue.

“Nothin.” Alanza was feeling extremely tense when the two Phantom wizards stepped into the cleared area of river bank her team had been calling home for the last two days. It wasn’t anything fancy, just one big tent with all their gear in it, a small fire that was now just a few smoldering coals in a wet hole, and a training dummy Laxus had been forcing the girls to practice basic physical attacks on. Then there was the solid script umbrella they were sitting under. That was new and Alanza still hadn’t figured out how the magic prevented the rain from falling right through the spaces between the letters.

“Hey guys. You seem to have made good time.” Alanza had spent enough time studying Levy’s map to know that if Gajeel and Juvia had been in Oak town at the main Phantom Lord guildhall they had a whole lot farther to travel than the three Fairies had.

“We have shit to do when we get back so we pushed the magic mobile pretty hard.” With the way Gajeel was glaring at them Alanza didn’t have to remind herself that he was still kinda a bad guy. “This mission is some kind of damn Fairy trick isn’t it?”

“Yes and no. There isn't a mission, but all we want to do is talk. I'm glad you both came. I was worried only one of you would be here. Levy, could you maybe write up some iron for our friend? That is why they are here after all.” Gajeel and Juvia both fell into battle stance when Levy's hands came up.

“Solid Script Iron!” Gajeel’s eyes widened when the iron landed in front of him. He didn’t touch it, but his nose started twitching. “It’s not poisoned or anything. It’s just iron. The spell only produces what I tell it too. You’re a dragon slayer, right? So you eat your element just like Natsu.” His eyes shot to Levy.

“You mean Salamander?”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s wierd to think of him like that. I mean I know he’s strong, but...”

“He’s a fucking moron.”


“Don’t deny it, Bookworm.”

“Well you don’t have to say it like that way.” Gajeel grinned as he eyed Laxus.

“Laxus, eh. That makes you the Thunder God.”

“Oh for crying out loud!” Dragon slayers and their damn need to fucking fight everything. “You are a living lightning rod Gajeel and water and electricity don’t mix. You start a fight with Laxus Juvia will try to back you up and I know you don’t wanna see her get hit by the kind of lightning this guy throws around.” She was totally banking on Gajeel caring about Juvia right now.

“Why is the Fairy concerned with Juvia’s wellbeing?”

“It's a damn bluff, Juvs, and you know it. Nothing but hot air.”

“It is not a bluff! I care about both of you! I’m here because I want you both to come back to Fairy Tail with me. I wanna hear Gajeel and Mira make music that terrifies the rest of us, and I wanna take pictures and pretend I’m not laughing when he tricks Lucy and Levy into wearing those stupid bunny suits, and I wanna be there when he finds his cat! I wanna call Juvia my sister and have her teach me how to sew and help her find the sun and maybe even see her learn how to heal the people she cares about with her magic! And I want to make Jose suffer for all the things he has put you through! But if you two wanna be stubborn and distrustful about it fine!”

She stomped over to the stupid training dummy and started punching it. Diplomacy was apparently not her thing. Maybe she should have asked someone else to go in her place, because she was totally sure she just botched that whole thing, not to mention making herself look like a total loon. She punched the dummy harder.

“Juvia thinks that if the Fairy widened her stance she would have more power in her strike.” Alanza stared at the water mage in surprise. While Levy was attempting to keep peace beyween the still growling dragon slayers Juvia had followed Alanza out into the rain. Well, Alanza was in the rain. Juvia had her pink umbrella.

“Alanza. My name is Alanza.” She shifted her feet just a bit. “Like this?”

“Yes.” She threw another punch and raised her eyebrows.

“Nice. Thanks, Juvia.” More power ment it hurt her knuckles more. Maybe she should get some fingerless gloves. Leather ones. That sounded kinda badass.

“Why does Alanza want Juvia to teach her to sew?”

“Well let's just say I totally suck at stuff like that, and, uhh...” She couldn’t tell the girl she had seen her appartment in an alternate future and had been jealous of the sewing abinity she displayed through her obcession with Gray. “My magic just kinda tells me things, and it tells me you are a natural.”

“Does Alanza not find Juvia’s magic gloomy?”

“Rain brings life, Juvia, how could I find life gloomy? Besides, if I can help you be happy you won’t have to live without the sun. I want to help you see the sun, Juvia. My magic knows things, and I know that someday you will see the the sun every single day. It’s your choice though. I can’t force you to leave Phantom Lord.”

A rather horrendous sound drew her attention back to the other three wizards. Gajeel had finally given in to the temptation of Levy's iron. For some reason Alanza hadn’t anticipated the sound of screaming metal when he bit into it. How was the man not deaf? The twisted look on Laxus’s face said she should go rescue the man before he ruined this day even worse than she already had.

“Hey, Laxus, I think the point at which you would have needed to rescue us has passed already. You don’t have to babysit us anymore.”

“Juvia promises the Thunder God's friends will not be harmed by her.” Juvia gave Gajeel a look that was remaniscent of Erza.

“What woman? I’m not gunna attack them for no reason! Besides they fed me.” The way to a dragon slayer’s heart was through their stomach. Maybe when she went searching for the Seis she should take snake venom or something. Gajeel eyed Alanza for a moment. “You’re wierd.”

Laxus snorted and flash-boomed himself to the other side of the river. Apparently Gajeel insulting her was enough to win the electric asshole's trust because he proceeded to pop his sound pods on and apparently take a nap. Even propped under a tree like he was it was still raining, so Alanza had no clue how he was comfortable. Alanza stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to Gajeel.

“What’s your point?”

“You don't know us. Why do you give a shit?”

“In a way I do know you. My magic tells me things, kinda like prophecies but not exactly. That has allowed me to get to know both of you enough to know you belong with us. You deserve better than Phantom Lord.” She took a moment to think before she continues.

"Jude Heartfilia has, or will very soon, contact Phantom Lord in an attempt to retreive his daughter. Now despite what he says she had very good reasons for leaving and will fight to her last breath to stay free. Master Jose will use Jude's request as an excuse to go to war with Fairy Tail. This is a war he can not win. I’m being upfront with you about this, because if it was me and I heard about this in some round about way I would probably assume that our offer to join Fairy Tail was just to weaken Phantom and strengthen Fairy Tail in prepration for the fighting. It isn’t. Would that happen if you came with us? Yes, of course. However that is more of a bonus, because we will end up winning either way.”

“How does Alanza know of Master Jose’s plans?” Gajeel just stared off into the distance, not reacting to Juvia's voice at all.

“Secret Magic.” The wind shifted and the iron slayer’s eyes flew wide before focusing intently on Levy. He walked closer and started walking in slow circles around her. Levy looked at Alanza nervously and silently mouthed ‘What is he doing?’. Alanza just shrugged even though she had her suspicions. He came to a sudden stop and leaned down to look in the script mage’s eyes.

“What about you, Shrimp? Fox is here to play some fucked up game of chess and Sparky is here in case the game goes south. Why are you here?”

“I guess I'm a chess piece? Alanza invited me. Maybe I'm just here to cater. I don't really know.” Gajeel suddenly spun, grabbed Alanza by the arm, and dragged her far enough away that Levy and Juvia couldn’t hear him when he started whispering.

“If you hadn’t started playing chess what would have happened? Don't give me some vague voodoo and smoke shit. Shrimp told me your magic shpws you pieces of the future. Tell it straight.”

“Jose would send you to Magnolia. You would tear up the guildhall and beat the shit out of one of our teams. You would have left them hung up on a tree in the park. Just to make sure Fairy Tail got the message you would have left Phantom’s guildmark on Levy’s skin.” Gajeel blanched and reached out to steady himself on a nearby tree. “We would find them the next morning after they hung there all night. You want me to stop or keep going?”

“How- how could I do that to... Are you sure?” His red eyes went to where the blunettes were talking under Levy’s umbrella. “Are you sure I would do that to her?”

“It’s why I brought her with me. If you met her now without the haze of battle-lust I hoped that wouldn’t happen that way.” His eyes hardened.

“It won't. Not me and not anybody else. No one will hurt her.” His eyes turned back to Alanza. “I swear it. We will come with you. Juvia wants to, I can tell. If... If you hadn’t brought her I don’t know what I would have done, but I won’t go back. I won’t risk... I won’t let her get hurt.”

“So... Before I get all excited and let the others know you are coming back with us I have two questions. You wouldn’t happen to know where Ryos is would you?”

“What's that little shadow lover got ta do with anything?” Alanza's hand snapped out to flick him in the forehead before she thought better of it. Her arm stayed attached to her body, so that was good.

“He’s your sworn brother for one, and a sweet kid, not to mention a dragon slayer.”


“I know he’s just a kid, but he should join Fairy Tail too. I’m expecting another young slayer to join the guild about the time we get back. Wendy is twelve I think and a sky dragon slayer.”

“Wait just a minute! Since when is that kid a dragon slayer?”

“Since basically this whole time dumb ass. Can’t you smell it or something?”

“Not if he’s not using his damn magic like he should be!” Well that explained why Laxus hadn’t been outed by Natsu a long time ago.

“Well you need to get him to Magnolia before something bad happens to him or something!”


“Allright then!” Both blunettes were staring at them by then. “By the way. My second question was about her. Is she what I think she is to you?”

“Shut your face and mind your own business!” He stomped back over to the umbrella and started tearing chunks out of the iron Levy made for him. Alanza smirked. She was going to consider that a yes.

“Hey, Laxus! Mission accomplished! We can go home now!” Laxus flipped her off. She shrugged. They could go home later then. That was fine by her.