Deok Kwang didn’t know why he allowed his friend to put him in this position. It was a favor to him, all he had to do was show up to a date pretending to be him. It was a blind date and the girl had never met him before so it would be easy to pull off. It didn’t feel right though. He didn’t know what he should do; it was all just so crazy. He had never talked to the girl or seen a picture. He didn’t know what to expect because the only thing Hyo Eun told him was to look for a girl with pink hair.
When you walked into the cafe you looked around feeling a bit nervous. After spotting someone in a corner table wearing a white hat, like you had been told, you went over to him. After a gentle tap on his shoulder sent him jumping up in surprise you apologized. “Sorry, are you Kim Hyo Eun?”
Deok Kwang’s jaw dropped when he was face to face with your apologetic smile. “Yes, are you Y/N?” The few strands of pink hair that had fallen out of your ponytail gave you an air of delicacy.
Your smile brightened as you nodded, relieved that you had found the right person. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m sorry for being late and for scaring you.”
“That’s fine, I was just startled because I was looking down at my phone.” When Deok Kwang glanced at the screen he saw a new message from Hyo Eun.
Hyoeun: Just take her out for an hour or two and let her down slowly at the end. Say something like I don’t feel a connection between us.
He quickly dismissed the message and powered off the screen to avoid letting you see it. He didn’t know why Hyo Eun was against coming to meet you. In his eyes, you were beautiful so it couldn’t be a problem with that.
“I probably should have texted to let you know I was here instead of suddenly appearing behind you.” You sat in front of him showing you were not at all worried about the meeting.
After getting through the awkwardness Deok Kwang was able to learn more about you. The fact that you were a stylist explained why your hair was pink, you were a trendy person into fashion, hair, and makeup.
After the cafe, you two decided to go for a walk around the park where you two could talk and ask each other questions.
The more he looked at you, the more he felt an attraction. He was feeling better about having gone to meet you in Hyo Eun’s place until a very important detail came up through conversation.
“So are you the type who likes to be called Oppa?” you asked.
“What?” Deok Kwang was confused, he was the same age as you. There was no need for you to call him that but then it clicked Hyo Eun was actually older by a couple of years. If he knew your age then you probably knew Hyo Eun’s. Which meant he should technically be acting older. “Ah, no. I don’t really like those things.”
“Oh good” you sighed with relief. “I don’t either. I’m not a very romantic type of girl as you can see I’m more relaxed about that kind of stuff. I would never ask for flowers or special dates on Valentine’s Day.”
“Really?” Deok Kwang had always wondered why girls needed so much attention on that day or why they liked such troublesome things like flowers. They just die and create a mess.
You nodded, “flowers just die and make a mess I have to clean up.”
He smiled hearing you say what he was thinking. “What about stuffed animals?”
“They just gather and take up space. I feel obligated to keep them but in reality, I just want to get rid of them.”
“I never give them thinking the same thing.” Deok Kwang laughed out loud after seeing the sparkle in your eyes.
“So you understand?” you asked feeling awe. You had been branded cold and emotionless by previous boyfriends. Your refusal to accept gifts like stuffed animals and flowers were taken as rejection.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Finally someone who doesn’t think I’m weird.” You closed the distance between the two of you and walked shoulder to shoulder from there on.
Deok Kwang noticed the difference and became aware of how close your hand was to his. They would brush against each other every once in a while causing his mind to race with the idea of holding hands.
You stopped walking and bit your lip as you tried to gain confidence. “Would it be okay if I hold your hand?” It was a strange thing to ask- usually it would be done spontaneously, smoothly as mutual feelings grew. You just couldn’t wait though.
Your unapologetic forwardness was new for Deok Kwang. He was more than happy to comply and held your hand in answer. It was something that would have taken him a while to build up to but now, thanks to you, he got the satisfaction of holding you closer, sooner. “I was actually thinking the same thing.”
Both of you looked elsewhere as you walked. Deok Kwang tried hiding the warmth of his face under his hat. You looked down feeling regretful of wearing your hair up. The bright pink of your cheeks surpassed the pastel pink of your hair. When Deok Kwang looked over at you he felt happy to be by your side at that moment, to see your reaction, to share this moment with you.
Before you realized it night had fallen. “This is where I live.” You stopped in front of your apartment building not wanting the night to end. “I had a really good time.”
“Me too” Deok Kwang licked his lips feeling like this was his chance to kiss you. “Can I-”
You pressed your lips against his in response, the same way he had gone for your hand instead of responding with words. After the kiss, you were all smiles feeling a tingling sensation across your body. You didn’t want it to end.
Deok Kwang felt the same. He wanted to continue spending time with you but he had no excuses to make that would make you stay with him longer. “I guess this is it then-”
“Wait” you pulled out the strip of pictures you two had taken at a photo booth. You carefully tore it in half giving him two of the pictures and keeping two for yourself. “Something to remember me by, well if you want to remember me.”
“I do” Deok Kwang quickly took the pictures knowing he would want to continue looking at your face. “I actually don’t want to go.”
“Then don’t” your eyes widened as your stomach twisted in knots. You were being way too bold, even for yourself. This was not something you would say or even think. He was different from other guys. He understood you, the connection between you was so great. You had never understood when people said there was chemistry between people until now. There was no logical explanation for this you had to believe it was an instinct inside you that said you shouldn’t let him go.
Before he knew it Deok Kwang was in your apartment, in bed with you… naked. This was the first time he had done this impulsively but it felt good. Your moans of confirmation kept him from stopping. He had almost forgotten that he had reluctantly met you as a favor. That was until you moaned a name, not his but Hyo Eun’s.
This was when Deok Kwang was filled with regret.
After you fell asleep he couldn’t find it in himself to stay beside you any longer. You deserved better than him.
A few days passed without a word between Hyo Eun and Deok Kwang. As far as Hyo Eun knew he had nothing to worry about. Deok Kwang had dealt with the annoying blind date that he had scheduled on the same day as another date. He didn’t need to worry since his friend had cut things off with you. Or so he thought...
Almost a week later Hyo Eun rushed to find Deok Kwang but it seemed like he had gone into hiding. Every call he made was ignored, there were no replies to his texts, now his last resort was to physically find him.
When he did Deok Kwang seemed depressed. He was silently sitting in the studio alone with a blank gaze.
Deok Kwang always felt happiest in the studio, that is why he went there. He wanted to take his mind off of things but he just couldn’t. He had dark circles under his eyes from a lack of sleep. There was no way he could sleep knowing he could never see you again without revealing the truth to you.
He knew the truth would only make him look bad. He would be a liar, an impersonator, and most of all… a jerk. He wondered what friend had set Hyo Eun up with you and why it hadn’t been him. His anger and guilt built up when he saw Hyo Eun entering the studio.
“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you.” He was confused when Deok Kwang didn’t respond and instead turned away from him. “Are you trying to avoid me?” His silence only made Hyo Eun more curious so he continued to prod him. “Is it because of Y/N?”
Deok Kwang’s eyes shifted over to Hyo Eun but he remained silent.
“She texted me” he gave him a pat on the back. “You really surprise me Deok Kwang. I never knew you had it in you to have a one night stand.”
Quickly standing up caused something to fall off of Deok Kwang’s lap and onto the floor without his notice.“Shut up” he lashed out at Hyo Eun. “This is all your fault. If you hadn’t made me go, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Woah, there… I told you to go on a date with her. I didn’t tell you to sleep with her.” Hyo Eun spotted the item Deok Kwang had dropped. He picked it up from the ground and took a closer look before handing the pictures of you and him back. “I don’t know why you’re so angry. She’s hot.”
Deok Kwang snatched the pictures from his hand and slid them into his pocket. “She thinks I’m you.”
“So” he shrugged. “Doesn’t that make it easier for you? She texted me this morning asking if things were okay between the two of you. I can text her and let her know you want to keep it a one-time thing. You don’t even have to worry.”
“No” Deok Kwang stopped him. He was glad to hear you were trying to reach him. He thought you would dismiss him as a jerk and never want to see him again for leaving like that. “It’s not that easy.”
Seeing the distress on his face Hyo Eun finally understood. “Do you like her?”
“I love her.”
You felt like such an idiot for letting your instincts take over. Plenty of curse words had been directed at Deok Kwang too when you didn’t get so much as a text from him. A part of you wanted to let it go and write it off as a lesson learned. Then there was a side of you that hoped you could go beyond yourself and ask for an explanation.
All the feelings he had evoked from you felt too good to be forgotten. You didn’t know if it was just your boldness but you felt he liked you just as much as you liked him. You could still feel those emotions inside of you. They were the reason you were so hesitant to forget him and sent the text.
Now you would go on like normal. You smiled at your reflection as you finished flat ironing your hair, going for a simple look, unlike most days. You got dressed and went to work like usual.
No one could tell you were mentally at war with yourself. You tried your best to smile and joke around while carrying out your duties.
It wasn’t until later that night when you were going home that you began to feel low. Your smile had worn off, now you looked indifferent. Your hair was the only bright thing about you. Your eyes were downcast on your shoes watching every step you made until you stepped on someone and bumped your head against their chest. “Ah, sorry I wasn’t looking” you quickly apologized before looking up at the owner of the shoes in front of you. “Hi” you greeted him feeling a sudden urge to cry.
“Hey” Deok Kwang felt speechless. It was the same as when he first saw you a week ago. You had taken his breath away without even smiling this time. “I wanted to apologize for-”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Why don’t you ever let me apologize?”
“I don’t like apologies for simple things like this or that. I think apologies should only be made when you hurt someone. Like now, I stepped on your foot and bumped my big head on you.”
“Then I do owe you an apology.”
You tilted your head to the side, “Why?”
“That night I just left and-”
“Don’t worry about it-”
“Please just let me finish” he interrupted you this time, effectively silencing you. “The first time I saw you I thought you were beautiful. I didn’t know how to act in front of you but thanks to your bright, bold nature we were able to quickly get to the point without beating around the bush. By that I mean…” Deok Kwang trailed off feeling less than capable of continuing.
“I know what you mean but I don’t know why you are apologizing. Are you trying to say that you don’t feel that way anymore? Because if that’s the case then it’s okay. I don’t want you to feel forced into something because we slept together.”
“I still feel that way but I don’t think you will after today.” Deok Kwang noticed the way you hadn’t smiled, he hated to think it was because of him that you lost your brightness. “My name isn’t Hyo Eun. Kim Hyo Eun is my friend, I work in the same label as him and am also a rapper. The day we met I was doing him a favor by showing up as him because he had two dates on the same day.”
You couldn’t hide the surprise his confession brought you. Your lips were pressed tightly into a line as you processed the words that came out of his mouth. Once it hit you that you had been played there was clear anger in your expression.
The top row of teeth took in your bottom lip as you felt ashamed of your actions. Remembering how you moaned a name that wasn’t his was enough to make you want to dig your own grave. “Why? The entire time you let me believe you were Kim Hyo Eun, but why?”
“At first I was just doing this as a favor for him but as we talked I ended up falling for you. I had forgotten all about the favor. I was genuinely having a good time with you that I didn’t remember about it until we were…” he trailed off making you scoff.
There was no way you wanted to remember such an embarrassing moment. “You should have told me.” Your face turned a bright red color as you thought to the moment. “Women aren’t just objects you can trade with your friends. Just because he didn’t want me doesn’t mean he could pass me along to a friend. I definitely never want to see the real Hyo Eun’s face because I would be inclined to hit it.” After a few deep breathes you realized he still hadn’t told you his actual name. “How long are you going to wait to tell me who you really are?”
“I’m Han Deok Kwang professionally I am known as rapper Hash Swan.”
“Deok Kwang” you repeated trying to get used to the idea that this was his name. “Han Deok Kwang.”
Deok Kwang was enjoying the sound of his name coming from you.
“You aren’t very smart, are you Deok Kwang? You thought I would be angry at you for telling me your real identity, or that I would stop having sex with you because you corrected me when I said the wrong name, now you thought my feelings would change but they didn’t. The name might have changed but you are still the same person.” You tucked your hair behind your ear as you gave a genuine smile. “I like the person who walked with me through the park and dislikes the same things I do. Of course, I do think you should have told me from the beginning but you came back and told me the truth. You even went so far to do a favor for a friend,” you laughed thinking how you could never do such a thing. “All of that shows your character and I like it. What you lack in words you make up for in actions.”
“Does that mean you don’t hate me and never want to see me again?”
“No, I hate Kim Hyo Eun and never want you to let me see him.” You were very serious about this. Even if they were such good friends you never wanted to meet him. “Han Deok Kwang on the other hand, him I like.” You looked away feeling shy about confessing.
Deok Kwang broke out in a smile after hearing your confession. He imagined the worst when he came here. “I actually have one more thing to say.”
“What?” you were scared to hear what else was coming. “You didn’t make a bet, did you? Because that I could never forgive-”
Deok Kwang silenced you by kissing you. Even if he lacked words or his voice was too low his actions were big. He seemed to steal a kiss from you when you least expected. After letting your lips go he confessed, “I love you, that’s what I wanted to say.”