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I'll Be Up, Up, And Away

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Taehyung is the one who buys it – a soft pink sweater that he coos over with Jimin when he gets home from shopping. It isn’t even a name brand.

"I just saw it and needed it,” he says.

He wears it the next time they head to dance practice and for some reason, Namjoon finds himself hung up on it. It doesn’t bother him. Far from it. Taehyung looks rather cute with it extending just past his fingers. He has to keep rolling it up in the car. Jungkook spends a lot of time hugging Taehyung and rubbing his hands over the soft material even when Yoongi teases him for it.

Namjoon keeps thinking about it, even when it’s mostly relegated to the back of Taehyung’s closet. He wonders what he’d look like in it. He and Taehyung aren’t all that similar in build, so he thinks it would fit him like normal, but he wonders what it would feel like to wear and what it would look like with his skin tone. He wonders if he’d look cute the way Taehyung does. Probably not if he’s being honest with himself. The way Taehyung smiles, the way he wears more feminine clothing with the same level confidence as anything tailor made for him, Namjoon can’t replicate that.

But when he pulls it out of the dryer when looking for his jeans, his wonder turns to a need. He snags his jeans out and wraps the sweater in them before walking back towards his and Jungkook’s room with as natural a gait as possible as he passes Taehyung and Hoseok in the living room. He shuts the door and leans against it, heart thudding. All he needs to do is just…try it on and then put it back where it came from. Just to satisfy his curiosity.

He drops his jeans on the ground and then tugs his t-shirt off, wandering over to the full-length mirror on the back of the closet as he shakes out the sweater. He takes a deep breath and pulls it on over his head. It fits him tighter than it did on Taehyung and the sleeves end just before his wrists. For a long moment, he just concentrates on how it feels. The fabric is like soft cashmere, sliding across his skin smooth as silk with the slightly furry texture that reminds him of the kittens at the cat café Jungkook drags him too sometimes.

Looking in the mirror is a challenge. He looks…cute. He steps closer to the mirror, drinking in how the light baby pink color seems to just soften everything about him but maybe that’s just his subconscious playing tricks on him. It doesn’t matter. He likes this version of him, even if it’s a version he’d never take outside. He really didn’t need to give anyone any moreammo to use against him. His lips twist into a grimacing smile in the reflection at the thought of the comments that he can see so clearly in his mind’s eye.

“Alright, Namjoon, curiosity satisfied,” he says, mostly to try and convince himself to take it off. It’s the last thing he wants to do.

Before he can, the bedroom door and Taehyung steps in.

"Hey, did you grab my sweater? I was looking for…it.” Taehyung stops, eyes doing a quick up and down of Namjoon’s attire before he reaches back and lets the door shut. “Well, that explains where it went.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon says, tugging the offending fabric off in a rush and throwing it towards Taehyung. “I just…”

Taehyung frowns. “It’s not a huge deal, hyung. Any time you wanna borrow it, you can ask, though maybe you should get one in your size. It needs to be baggy. It’s the aesthetic.”

“It looks stupid on me,” Namjoon says, breaking out in sweat. He’s not sure why he’s so worked up about it, and from the look Taehyung’s giving him, it’s obvious that he is.

"Put it back on,” Taehyung says, holding it out to him.

Namjoon stares at it. “Uh…”

“You didn’t look dumb to me but you took it off too quick for me to properly assess,” Taehyung says with the tone of voice that says he will not be dissuaded.

“Alright.”

Namjoon tugs the sweater back on, somehow feeling more vulnerable with more clothing on than he had shirtless. Taehyung nods and makes a show of studying him. He tilts his head this way and that, hums thoughtfully, then smiles and nods.

“You look great, just needs longer sleeves,” Taehyung says.

“But I look…”

“Cute,” Taehyung says with another nod. “And so do I when I wear it, that’s why I bought it. It’s meant to look cute.”

“I won’t be able to wear it anywhere anyways,” Namjoon says.

“Why not?” Taehyung asks, tilting his chin up in the way that says he’s getting ready to argue.

Namjoon picks at one of the stray threads, staring down at the sweater. “I know it shouldn’t matter what people think but I just don’t want to…deal with it.”

He expects a, understandable and justified, rant from Taehyung then, something about how comments don’t matter, it’s all about being happy, and if G-Dragon can wear it then-

But instead Taehyung makes a soft noise of assent. “That’s fair. But if you want to wear it around here, you should. It looks good. Fair warning though, Kookie turns into a cuddle monster when I wear it so be prepared.”

Somehow, it’s just the right thing he needs to hear. It’s not over the top support that feels fake in its enthusiasm, and there’s no shaming of his newfound desire to wear odd clothing, and no downplaying of his own worries. He wonders when Taehyung got so good at navigating that nuance.

“Not to burst your bubble, but I doneed to take it back,” Taehyung says. “Jimin and I are going for lunch.”

“Oh, right,” Namjoon says, pulling the sweater back off and handing it over. “Thanks though. For everything.”

Taehyung beams at him. “Of course.”