he doesn't notice right away. the sun is too bright in the plain white hotel room hes in, and a headache splits his skull, demands his attention. hangover. fuck. bad.
its just, yknow, somethings off. out of place. not as it should be. he needs to sleep this off a little longer tho, so he rolls over onto his front and, what the- "ow! ow, ow, ow, OW, what the fuck!" he yells, quickly flipping onto his back and looking down at his chest. hes quiet for a moment. coz, really, what the FUCK.
tits. those are tits, on his body, that hed just fucking, like, squashed somehow between the bed and his chest. but its not his body. sure, it shares marks, scars, skin tone, but its all wrong. fat distribution is localized differently, fucking with the shape of things. and oh, then theres, yknow, his boobs and vagina. and he wants to freak out, and hes about to, when he remembers thats not really his style, and possibly now is not the best time to break that reliability. he shrugs. he gropes himself a little. then he takes it upon himself to discover what a female orgasm is like.
he wakes up, for the second time, after the best post-nut nap hes ever had (3 fucking times. in like, under 10 minutes, maybe. what the fuck are chicks always complaining for?), to banging on the door.
"george!" he hears ian yell. his voice is.. different. but the same. somehow. he sounds like hes in a state of panic. joji groans. "yeah.. im coming." he hauls his ass out of bed and opens the door, forgetting hes not wearing anything until ian starts swearing and yelling and causing too much chaos too early in the day. joji tells him to shut up and drags him in by the arm, closing the door behind him. "joji, what the fuck. why are u.. why... do u know what the fuck is going on? why-" joji, once again, interrupts him by telling him firmly to shut the fuck up.
"jesus chirst, man. did ur fucking estrogen levels go up, or what? my fucking head is killing me. i have no clue where my dick went, and right now, i dont really care. we've got the day off, alright, we can just stay in, its fine, relax. sit down, have a drink. calm ur tiny tits," he tells him, already rooting thru the minibar fridge for some hair-of-the-dog booze.
ians gone quiet, too quiet, and joji realizes that his pussy is on display, on account of him being bent over and all. hey, maybe ians into it. asian muff. hes a nerd, bet hes beat off to plenty of hentai. some weird interracial shit. no doubt he likes what he sees. joji straightens up, turns around, smiles. catches ians eyes flicking up to his face. he downs the tiny bottle of gin he grabbed, chucks another one to ian, who catches it and hurries to knock it back, wincing a little at the burn. hes tense, twitchy, when joji sits down beside him, pulling his jacket tighter around his feminine frame. joji can still see his nipples hard thru the fabric.
"go on then," he says, bumping his arm casually. ian is pointedly looking anywhere but jojis body. joji can kinda smell his own cunt from where his legs are sorta spread open, as he would sit normally, only now its.. different. theres this implied sexual vibe to just the act of sitting, its weird. but also great, in how its making ian squirm. its not a bad smell, either. the opposite. kinda sweet, in that girl come way. and he showered last night, so hes clean down there, he assumes. ian is shifting like hes uncomfortable, or maybe like hes horny. probably both. his voice comes out strained when he goes to speak, so he clears his throat and tries again.
"what?" he asks, flashing a brief glance at jojis face. joji holds back a laugh. "show me what ur tits look like." ians eyes go wide. its actually really fucking funny to see him like this, since hes usually the first to make the jokes he knows everyone else will. a buffer. poor guy is out of his element, doesnt know how to deflect. joji cant fucking wait to get his mouth on him, put him at a loss for words. "uhh... no?"
"aw, cmon. this probably wont last long, yknow. no doubt max is off somewhere fucking chad as we speak. all im asking is u show me a titty," joji reasons, spreading his legs open wider in a way thats subtle yet blatantly obvious at the same time. ian swallows like his throats gone dry, laughs a little, nervous. "this is..uhm. this is kinda gay, george." hes got his hands in his lap, long fingers curled around each other, and tho his hands are more girlish now, joji can admit to himself that yeah, hes pretty much always wanted to fuck him, dick and all. he wants to know what those hands can do.
he lays back, propped up on his elbows, thighs still wide open, lazy smirk on his face. "id say its more dyke-ish, really. bit a lesbian action. im not complaining. quit being such a pussy and take ur fuckin shirt off." it works just like he knew it would. ian doesnt like it when u question his manhood. sees it like a challenge. he turns around and looks him dead-on, eyes sharp. then he gives joji this once over that leaves him fucking buzzing. cool.
ian does as hes told, tshirt and hoddie gone in one swift pull, perky little nipples on display. yeah, his tits are way smaller than jojis. not that jojis sporting double ds, nice little c-cups, maybe. a good handful. still, theyre nice, hes into it, the same way hes into those curves. he really wants to see whats under those jeans, tho. ians on it. right after joji thinks it, ians yanking his belt loose from the tightest it can go, his jeans already slipping down before he undoes the button. joji checks out his ass as he lifts his hips to push them and his boxers down and off, and joji sits up, gets a good look at his pussy, his soft thighs. fuck. oh, this is gonna be fucking fun.
"atta girl," he mocks, doesnt brace himself as ian shoves him back, just goes with it, falling against the mattress, tits bouncing. ian splays a hand over his belly, slides it up to his chest, copping a feel. joji grins, loving the change in his demeanor, spreading his thighs again as ian starts to touch him, fingers sliding thru the wet there. "oh. youve already..."
"u havent?" joji shoots back. ian shakes his head absently, eyes fixed on his own hand as his fingers slide inside. jojis breathing stutters a little bit, breaking up his words. "can i be ur first, baby?" ian starts to finger him properly, a little rough, and joji arches into it. hes a little sensitive from having already come a few times not too long ago, but in a good way, not in a painful please no more way. pretty much every part of him is screaming don't stop. he was right about ians long fingers, damn accurate about what they can do.
hes feeling kinda left out tho - why does ian get to have all the fun? jojis not usually into skinny chicks, he likes his women curvy, but he can make an exception for ian. for that little dip in his waist, rounder hips, hipbones still sharp against his skin, more defined now. god, even his shoulders. and fuck, his fucking thighs. joji runs his hand over the soft skin, up to his hip, then back down between his thighs, thru his light pubes, rubs the tips of his fingers over his clit.
ian gasps a little, eyes going wide. "fucking awesome, right?" joji grins, dipping lower to where hes already wet, spreads the slick around. ians kinda stopped what hes doing with his fingers, hand just resting against jojis cunt. hed be disappointed if he wasnt so fascinated by ians reactions to every single way jojis touching him. little jumps and breaths and sounds, god and his face. so virginal, its fucking hot.
joji stops to grab his hips (he maybe takes a little longer than he needs to, just to hear him whine) and pull him closer, and closer still, until ians kneeling right over jojis face, and joji gets a good look at where hes all hot and horny and wet before he just goes for it, working his tongue against his clit. he tastes sweet, a little dirty, weirdly sour in a subtle way, but good. even if he was fucking rank down there, well... actually thatd be fucking awful, but worth it just to see his face and hear him moan, sounding a lot like some girl joji used to fuck in australia, but better coz hes not faking it at all.
jojis pulling out all the stops, fuck all that alphabet bullshit, thats some weak shit, hes got his lips pressed tight against him, tongue never stopping, sucking his clit into his mouth, changing up the pace, over and over until his tongue is cramping and his jaw fucking aches. ians hips are rocking against jojis mouth, getting his chin all wet, and joji slips his fingers inside him, pressing and rubbing and fucking into the right places, wanting to see how fast he can make him come. joji came really fucking fast earlier, the first time, like maybe in under a minute kinda fast, and that was just with his own hand. gave him some pretty good insight into what feels best tho. maybe this is gods way of telling him to up his game. if it is, hes not complaining. maybe the universe just really wanted to see him fuck ian. again, really, really not complaining.
ians breathing is getting really heavy now, and joji can like, feel his pulse thru his pussy, this rush of blood, and ians moaning, hands gripping jojis hair, tight, pulling. "uhh, joji, fuck, what the fuck, u- ahh, ur.. im gonna- holy shit, fuck-" and he cums, joji can feel it, taste it, this sweet rush of slick all over, ians whole body tense and shaking, jaw dropping, eyes shut tight, and he makes this cut off noise, loud, like he just couldnt hold it. joji doesnt stop until ians squirming away from his tongue, falling back and only just catching himself on his hands, body spread out in front of joji like a porn star. now that hes not preoccupied, its much harder to ignore just how turned on he is, just how bad he needs to nut.
"ur turn," he tells ian, shuffling back on the bed until his heads on the pillow, ians body sliding slick against his with sweat and cum. ian lifts his head back up, eyes slitted open, a disbelieving look on his face. joji tries to look smug, but hes pretty sure it comes off more desperate than anything. hes on the verge of just humping ians back to finish off, this fucking ache between his legs, like a sore muscle, except not. he cant describe it. its goddamn frustrating tho, and its ians turn to look smug as he shifts his weight to one arm and then hes fucking teasing joji, with these light touches, not where he wants them. he throws his head back and groans, "ian, stop fucking around, u cunt. fuck."
he relents, rolling over onto his front and shifting down the bed until his face is between jojis thighs, and he doesnt hesitate, just fucking goes in, down, all over. its messy, sloppy, pretty much exactly what he shouldve expected from ian, really. more to the point, its fucking good - relief.
ians really fucking.. enthusiastic, not teasing anymore, strong tongue fucking tasting him, like, inside, like hes eating ass (which, hm, maybe when theyre dudes again they can talk about that), for a second, then hes back at his clit, actively driving him fucking mad, and hes got the pace down already, no sweat, even tho jojis pretty sure hes never actually done this before. hes a fucking fast learner, thats for sure.
he props jojis thigh up on his shoulder, for better access, really just driving in there, fuck. joji feels really slutty when he moans, and hed probably be visibly embarrassed if he wasnt already red all over, flushed, feeling like hes burning up, full on fever. holy fucking shit, genuinely, what the FUCK are girls always complaining about. guys cum with their dicks, but girls cum with their whole fucking bodies, its insane. guess thats why it takes longer to get them there, why u have to work twice as hard. and ians.. yeah, hes really working him right now, in the best way, and jojis real fuckin close. "shit, fuck, dont stop doing that thing, with- yeahh, unh, that.. keep doing that shit- fuck, ian." and he does, this thing with his tongue thats so- joji cant even articulate it, hes so goddamn close, hes gonna cum, any second now, as long as ian keeps doing that, fuck, almost, almost...
he cums so hard it rocks him to his core. so hard he cant do anything but hold on to ian while his entire body seizes and just feel it. he doesnt know how long for, but ian sees him thru it, and afterwards his throat is sore like hes been yelling, like a post-vid sorta rawness, and he realizes that he was maybe digging his nails into ians scalp and maybe pulled some of his hair out.
ian lets his leg drop from his shoulder and crawls his way sluggishly up the bed to flop down next to joji while he just lays there panting up at the ceiling, thinking he could really do with a cigarette. he catches a glimpse of ians shiny face out his peripheral, and rolls over to stick his tongue down his throat before he really thinks about it at all. then he does think about it, as hes doing just that, and decides straight up that he doesnt give a fuck, ian can freak out if he wants to.
ian does not freak out. he freezes. then he kisses back, wrapping his legs around jojis waist, which is kinda awesome, hands in his hair and on his ass, all over. its nice. tastes great, too. when joji pulls back, his face all sticky and shiny, too, he grins, and ian gives him this cryptic sorta stare and then his eyes drift to somewhere behind him and he has some weird sorta internal freak out. joji rolls his eyes and plants a sloppy kiss on his cheek, laying back and sighing, lax and loose and content.
he gropes around for his ciggie packet, grabbing hold of it eventually, and ian doesnt break out from whatever bullshit's got him stuck until he hears the lighter click. joji lets him have that one and lights another, taking a drag and turning to look at him. ian just kinda gives him this side-eye glance. joji opts for an icebreaker. his brain is fried, cant think of anything good. then he has to stop himself from laughing. he clears his throat, holds back a laugh, and goes "hey, ian. whats eatin u?"
ian snorts. "fuckin gay." joji gives him a meaningful look. "maybe. just a little." the look ian gives him is shocked. something else tho, like.. like scared. joji smiles. "cmon man, dont go all no-homo on me. hey, if ur not into it, tell me to fuck off. no pressure, no strings, if thats what u want. im chill, we're good," joji tells him, smokes his cigarette and watches as ians starts to go out. ian stays silent for a bit, like hes thinking, deciding whether to joke it off or level with him. in the end he sighs, looks back at him, says, "yeah. alright." joji raises an eyebrow. ian rolls his eyes and kisses him. they make out until ian gets tired and passes out, and joji, having slept twice, isnt tired at all, so he stays up on his phone for a couple hours.
he hasnt really been paying any attention to ian as hes slept, watching videos with his earphones in, turned away from him. but when he hears his voice, muffled thru the earphones, its definitely deeper, back to normal. joji looks down and sees that, yeah, hes still got tits. maybe he'll change back when he goes to sleep. or he could just stay awake forever.
hes pulled out of these thoughts when he feels ians hard cock against his thigh. he grins, yanks his earphones out, turns over. "good idea," he tells him, climbing on top of him and straddling his hips. hes never ridden someones cock before, but it cant be that difficult. ians grinning too, looking joji up and down like hes a goddamn wet dream, and shit, okay, thats new, hes into that.
he sinks down as ian guides his cock inside him, and oh, shit, that's what this has been missing. dyke sex was great and all, but this is definitely an improvement. cock just makes things better, yknow? his cunt knows, fucking aching to cum again, after a couple hours' rest. fuck, if he was a chick hed be such a fucking slut.
he braces himself on the bedframe, starts to fuck himself on ians cock, finding a rhythm after maybe 10 seconds of how do i get my body to move that way. its this really cool like rolling thing mostly to do with his hips thats surprisingly straining on his stomach muscles, that are even more obviously non-existent in this body. he likes it tho, the way the pain shifts from ache to burn to background noise, and he loses himself in it a little bit, focusing on how good it feels to be fucked. sex this way, dick in pussy kinda sex, feels almost as good as cumming does. its weird. its kinda like this is almost the best part, like he could do it for hours.
he opens his eyes to look at ian, and ians already watching him, like hes really fucking hot but also like he maybe wants to kiss him, and joji fucking would if he could bend like that right now but hes not a porn star and also doing this, riding ian, is kinda starting to make him realize just how fucking tired he is, now painfully aware of the fact that after theyre done hes probably just gonna pass out which sucks coz he really wanted ian to fuck him over every surface of this hotel room.
"fuck, ian. switch with me, yeah?" and he does, grabs him by the hips and flips him, in a careless way that nearly concusses joji on the wall. its hot tho, and joji wraps his legs around ians waist, letting him take over and really fuck him, hard, like hes been holding back and now hes just going for it. joji has a brief little think about how this is gonna feel in his ass before ian changes his angle and he forgets how to think, just feels, bracing his forearms against the wall to stop his head from smacking into it.
ians got one hand on his hip, other on his shoulder, pulling him back into every thrust and its awesome, to let go of control like this, to just fucking lay back and take it, knowing ians got it covered. and fuck, has he got this covered, hes great, fucking perfect, aiming for what jojis guessing is his gspot, and just fucking nailing that shit, leaving joji breathless and moaning and, goddamn, fucking close again already, but he doesn't wanna cum yet, he wants ian to kiss him, fuck him slow and really kiss him, which is weird but hey, what isnt here.
"ian, hey, hang on, just.. ah fuck, shit, look, love what ur doing, but just, go slow, yeah? just for a sec," he pants out, and ian groans, slows down a little, and a little more, look on his face like its costing him, and joji would feel bad, but ian'll be back to fucking him like a whore in no more than 15 seconds and joji won't even have to make it up to him.
"whats up?" ian breathes out, and joji unconsciously licks his lips at the sight of him, the sweat dripping from his hair, muscles tight in his arms, mouth open, sweat-shiny all over, fuck, hes such a fucking faggot, and this is really fucking gay, and no one can deny that anymore except maybe ian but that doesn't matter coz joji fucking loves it and so will he even if joji has to pin him down and blow him senseless.
he wraps his hand around the back of his neck and kisses him, slow and deep and real, fucking melting into the mattress coz of how it all feels, ian inside him and his tongue against jojis and his hands and his skin and oh fuck, its like fireworks and really good food and getting high and, shit, just like a really good sappy movie, jojis falling in love with him, what the fuck, for real tho, being a chick is wild.
he stops and just breathes for a moment with his eyes closed and his forehead pressed to ians and just feels for a sec coz damn, hes actually really gonna fucking miss this, and then hes saying "okay, alright, fuck, go- go on, fuck me" and ians letting loose and picking up the pace and really giving it to him, like he never stopped. and jojis thrown back into that place of holy shit, this is the best sex ever, and ians starting to tense up, and joji really reckons he can cum first if he just really slams his hips into ians and focuses on ians hard fucking cock hitting that one spot over and over again and oh fuck.
he feels his cunt fucking tensing around him and his whole fucking body just locking into place and fucking shaking, like something else is taking over and hes just along for the ride, and he just fucking cums, so hard he thinks he blacks out for a second there coz holy shit, its so good, the best, and he feels ian go still, feels him cum inside him, which is fucking awesome, and he cant wait to feel that in his ass, its gonna be so fuckin filthy. he thinks about how sore his pussy is gonna be later until he remembers that it wont be there, he feels ian pull out and collapse next to him and he wants him closer and then he is and its great but for the first time today, he worries, for a second, that ian wont love him with a dick, but hes falling asleep before he can really dwell on it, to the feeling of ians arms around him.
hes really warm when he wakes up. he gravitates to the source of it, finds skin and hair and opens his eyes to some dude's nipple. it takes him a second to realize its ian. hes still sleeping, so joji gets up to take a piss and notices, holy shit, no more tits. he takes a second to mourn them, but in the end whatever loss he feels is surpassed by how great it is to have his dick back. sudden chick body was cool and all, but if hed stayed that way, forever, that woulda sucked.
he pisses down his morning wood and goes straight back to bed, thinking maybe he'll nap for a while longer. that is, until he sees ians hard dick and gets distracted.
he wonders if he should wake him first. he doesnt actually wanna force a bj on the guy if hes not into it. he did say okay, but there's always the off chance that he was just saying it was fine that joji likes him, and he was chill to make out with him while he was, yknow, female and all. but not after. he senses a bad thought spiral coming on, decides to just wake the guy up and ask him before he jumps to any conclusions. he says his name a couple times, shakes him a little, and ian opens his eyes, struggling to focus them for a couple seconds. he yawns, rubs his hands over his face. "huh?" he says, muffled.
"well, see, i was thinkin i wanted to suck u off, but i wasnt sure if ud be chill with that, coz i got my dick back, so i just thought id ask, yknow." ians eyes go a little wide, and he kinda just stares for a bit. its sorta unsettling. "uhhh.. i, um. i guess? wait. i dont... ive never actually, u know.. with a dude, i dont even know if.." joji gives him a sec to get his shit together. when he doesnt, he says, "okay.. do..ya wanna find out?"
ian just sorta gapes at him. and then he frowns. and jojis just pretty much done with this shit, okay, like, theyve already fucked, whatever stupid line that was established between them has already been crossed, extenuating circumstances or nah, theres no going back. and joji doesnt actually wanna have to pretend it never happened and write it off as some freak occurrence. he likes ian, and he likes his dick, and he wants to put it in his mouth, so yknow what? hes fuckin gonna.
and he does. just slides down the bed, while ians still, like, deciding what he wants, and starts sucking his dick. ian kinda splutters a little bit and his hands fist the sheets and he looks down at him with his fucking mouth still hanging open. he looks kinda ridiculous, but its kinda hot that jojis got him all flustered. joji prides himself on being good at oral, no matter what hes sucking on, and he doesn't hesitate to give ian the best fucking cocksucking hes ever gonna get - a sneaky way of making it damn near impossible for ian to go postal on him, coz he'll be so damn distracted.
he somehow manages to stay all tense at first, until joji takes him all the way in, letting him hit the back of his throat, and ian fists a hand in his hair and his head thumps back against the wall. "oh, fuck." joji would be grinning right now if he could. he focuses on the task at hand, letting ian fuck his throat, nothing too kinky, just these little twitchy thrusts like he cant help it, the only issue being the slight unpredictability of it. but hey, joji can improvise. hes also pretty sure ians getting payback for yesterday, when joji accidentally pulled his hair out a little. its cool, he gets off on this shit anyway - being treated like a slut. wheres the fun in sex thats not a least a little rough and dirty anyway. he likes that raw throat feel he gets after letting someone fuck his mouth, as if he could tolerate his job if he didn't.
he keeps his jaw lax for the most part, keeping the suction tight, his tongue working over the shaft, sometimes just reaching that bit where cock meets balls, just a little, and ian makes these sounds when he does, every time, trying to get deeper. joji fondles them a little - hed suck on them if ian wasnt so busy fucking his face. theyre wet with spit, so is jojis chin, and sucking dick is so fucking similar to eating pussy in that way, that everything gets sloppy and wet and u have to get real good at breathing thru ur nose, even when it feels like u shouldnt be.
jojis really fucking horny. he doesnt know how hes gonna go about that once ians finished. is he gonna jack off right next to him, in the shower, who knows. he could do it now, but ian seems to be really into what jojis doing with his balls. he can feel him getting closer to cumming, thrusting harder now, like its beyond his control, these fucking hot little gasps and grunts and half-words spilling out of him, both hands gripping jojis hair. "fuck, fucking hell, joji..thats so fucking hot, ur- shit, god ur so fucking..." and joji really wants to hear the end of that sentence, but its fine, he'll take a raincheck, really giving it his all for this last bit. this is his favourite part of going down on someone, when the truth starts spilling out, and theyre not holding anything back, just focused on cumming and nothing else.
hes really sucking hard now, pushing thru, eyes on the finish line, jaw aching like he just took a punch, eyes watering, nails digging in where hes got a hold of ians hip, and ian fucks hard into his throat one last time and goes still and groans and joji can feel his cock throbbing, his cum shooting down his throat and all over the back of his tongue, and he squeezes his eyes shut and waits it out, nearly out of breath.
joji just sits back on his heels and breathes for a while after ian lets go of his hair, loving the taste of him in his mouth, swallowing before he ends up fucking dribbling all down his chin, taking a second to recover. he hears ian shifting, and goes to open his eyes but then ians grabbing him and kissing him, tongue first, at hes so shocked that for a second he doesnt do anything but hang there with his mouth open while his brain gets stuck on a loop of holy shit. then hes kissing back with all hes got, moaning into ians mouth when he feels his hand on his dick. holy fuck. woah. hes.. just done a complete fuckin one eighty, and this is gonna be really funny later but right now its just really fucking hot.
ian jacks him off hard and fast, tongue licking deep into his mouth like hes getting off on the taste of himself on jojis tongue, and jojis getting off on him getting off on it, and also hes fucking elated that ians hand is finally on his dick, after so fucking long, damn. hes kinda embarrassingly close already, and it sucks that hes gonna have to go back to holding back from cumming too soon, instead of feeling like its an accomplishment that he even came at all, but what the fuck ever, like ian gives a fuck, the guy literally used to tell him whenever he broke another personal record. let it never be said that idubbbz is a hypocrite.
joji groans into ians mouth, nutting all over his stomach and chest, kissing him hard for just a while longer before he has to pull back to breathe, resting his forehead on ians. theyre quiet for a moment, just breathing, until joji starts to laugh. ians still and silent for a sec, and then he starts shaking, and then he snorts really loud and starts cracking up, laughing that spastic fucking laugh and it spurs joji on even more, until theyre just lying fucking laughing their asses off and joji feels like hes gonna fucking die from the pain in his gut, the sore muscles from last night that he forgot about.
ian had kinda collapsed on top of him and now jojis cum is smeared all over both of them and its fucking gross, and joji doesnt give a fuck, and he turns and looks at ian and his smile and his eyes and goddamn, its like its always been but its different now and joji is so fucking happy. ian looks pretty happy too. he doesnt object when joji pulls him into the shower. sometimes even ian knows when hygiene is necessary. he lets joji kiss him, but he shoves him when he goes to wash his chest for him and joji forgives him, even tho he couldve fucking slipped and died.
theyve gotta hurry once they get out coz ians gotta drive joji to the airport and hes gonna fucking miss his flight, and hes just about packed when max starts banging on the door.
max looks mildly pissed when he opens it, barging in. "jesus fuck, ive been calling for hours, where- EUGH, fuck dude, it fucking reeks in here, crack a window or something, christ- why is ian here, dont u have ur own room faggot? oi, guys, ur never gonna guess what happened to me yesterday-"
"u turned into a chick?" joji deadpans, and maxs eyes practically bulge out of his skull. "YEAH! howd u know? oh shit, did it happen to u guys too? fuck, i woulda paid to see that. wait- did u guys fuck?" max yells, all in one breath, and ian chokes and starts fucking hacking up a lung and joji cracks up and just then fucking chad walks in and wraps his arm around maxs shoulder and kisses his cheek and goes, "hey, baby. so, we all coupling up now? gonna go on double dates and shit? thats cute," and max shoves him off, shouts back, "fuck off, fat cunt, i aint gay!" and chad says, "that aint what u said last night, sugar tits," and no one can tell if they're joking or not, but ian just about has an aneurysm.
the whole scene distracts from maxs question tho, and joji doesnt say anything, thumping ian on the back a couple times to stop him from dying and laughing at maxs bright red face, and because max is so clearly mortified and, and chad is pretty comfortable with his sexuality but he doesnt actually want people thinking hes gay, hed never admit to fucking a dude, even if he was really fucking a chick who was actually a dude, which the internet would just interpret as 'chad fucks traps', neither of them really discuss it any further, and theres kind of an unspoken agreement that they never will.
ian is really fucking relieved, which joji gets - with their jobs, theyre not exactly gonna just fucking announce to the internet that theyre fucking, yknow, thatd be fucking stupid. and joji doesnt actually fucking want that. like, hes happy that ian wants to fuck him, but he doesnt want it to be a whole thing, yknow, flowers or whatever. hes chill with whatever theyve got going on, especially coz they live on separate sides of the country and all. hes down for a friends with benefits kinda deal.
ian grabs his ass on the way back to his room to get all his shit ready, and joji watches his ass when he goes, and hes fucking smiling to himself like some high school chick as he finishes packing. vidcon's gonna be fun next year.